Original subtitles

Are you guys ready? Roll camera.

Lisanne, 32A, magazine editor.

- You want the bra off, too? - Yeah.

You're not showing my face, are you?

Okay, because I would die if anyone knew I was doing this.

Hold on.

There! There you have it. What do you want me to say?

How do you feel about your breasts?

How do I feel about my breasts?

How would you feel about them?

I've gone to the dentist and had tools laid on my chest as though it was a tray.

As though it was a totally flat place upon which a person can...

unthinkingly lay their things and get them later.

I know you don't like it that I'm getting the operation because you're feminists.

We're not trying to make any judgments here.

Okay. Good, because I don't care if you did. I would just say, "Kiss my ass."

I'm doing this for me and I don't care what anybody says.

I wanna have big tits.

We now transmit you direct to the laboratory of Captain Z-Ro.

Please stand by.

All right, Roger, set the location and activate the view screen.

There you are, Jet:

The Great Pyramids of Egypt, nearly 4,000 years old.

How does he do it?

Okay, Roger, move to the chair and sit down.

- Stand by to activate the time machine. - Yes, sir.

Set it for the year 2000 BC.

Bring up the voltage to one million.

Thermo gauge: 40.5. Stand by to activate the reactor.

Yes, sir.

- Petro? - Yes, Captain.

Stand by to operate the time machine. Set it at 991.875.

That's awfully high. Where in the world are you going?

Back to the Great Pyramid of Giza, in the year 2000 BC.

- Stand by for signals. - Yes, sir.

I'm separating the alveolus from the vomer.

What do I need?

- You would need the... - No, Steve.

Kevin?

- Kevin? - Sir?

Never mind.

That's all right. Go back to what you were doing.

It's peculiar...

I have this 12-year-old boy here, we've got an aponeurosis of the velum.

Since he's here at this operating room, why don't we give him some of that...

What do you call it? Medical attention.

- Aufricht retractor? - Today!

- What's that? - What is what?

- What's that you're holding? - An aufricht retractor.

- Really? - I made some modifications to it.

I integrated a spring-tension device that makes it easier...

An aufricht retractor, you idiot!

A real aufricht retractor!

Aufricht retractor.

Thank you.

Did I ask you to modify it? Did I?

No, I told you to fetch it, you moron.

Asshole!

- Watch your language. - What a degrading sadist!

That's it. After my rotation, I'm out of here. I'm going to Thoracics.

Do you have any idea what Debakey's doing over there?

He's building an artificial heart.

Yeah, an artificial heart! Debakey has 28 patents to his name.

How many does Larson have? None. Zero patents, the bastard!

Watch your mouth!

Debakey doesn't treat his people like this. He treats his people like people...

as evidenced by not being such an asshole.

May I have a word with you?

As a figure of authority and as a mentor...

I've come to tolerate an amount of ignorant disdain from my residents.

About what I said...

But I expect, if not the real thing, at least a pretense of grudging respect.

- I didn't mean it. All right, Dr. Larson? - I had some very high hopes in you.

I thought I could teach you something.

I shouldn't have done it during surgery, but with my adjustments...

I thought I could make a difference.

You wanna move over to Thoracics? You wanna swagger in the limelight.

The artificial heart, the fancy building, and so forth?

That's not it.

It ain't enough to give a boy back his smile.

They saved his life.

What's it matter if he spends it in a closet with a bag over his head?

- They call us beauticians. - What?

Plastic surgeons, they call us beauticians.

- Who does? - Everybody does.

- You mean residents? - Residents, nurses, doctors, everybody.

- Are you gonna fire me? - No.

In what context do they call us beauticians?

I don't know. It's just a joke, I guess.

- I thought you knew about it. - Beauticians like a woman hairdresser?

Or like some goddamn nail painter?

I don't know what they mean.

- Hi, Dave, Louis. - Hello, Bill.

- Listen, about what I said in there... - Forget it.

I'll want to remove those walls.

- The kitchen, too small. - Too small?

You cannot cook in this kitchen.

- What about a French window there? - French windows.

That's a great idea.

I like that.

Come on in and look at Patrice's new drawings.

Sure, honey.

I think I'll take a look at them as soon as you figure out how to pay for them.

Actually, I have plans tonight.

How about some other time this week?

Actually, I'm gonna be busy all week. But maybe some time after that?

Okay. That sounds great.

- Okay. - Okay.

Goodbye.

- Who was that? - That was Kevin.

Kevin Saunders?

Yeah.

What did he want?

He wanted a date.

Hi, Kevin.

Look at this. Look at that.

It's a padded bra.

And this. Hold on.

"The Pump." Look at how that works.

And it's "doctor recommended."

Just hold on. And creams.

"Breast Enhancement Cream. It will be our little secret."

I gotta make my rounds.

Would you just hear me out?

You're healing very nicely.

- Why? Just give me one reason... - I'll have a nurse change that bandage.

All I'm saying is this could open up a whole new world of medicine.

- What, breasts? - Why not?

If Debakey can build a better heart, why can't we build a better breast?

George, are you all right?

I'm okay, Spinner.

Hello, Raquel!

Hello, Dr. Larson.

- How are you? - Pretty good. How you doing today?

Pretty good.

- This is Dr. Saunders. - Hello.

Would you mind showing him your breasts, please?

Raquel had polyvinyl Ivalon sponges implanted in 1959.

What happened?

The porous sponges encouraged fibrous tissue to grow into them.

We're taking them out tomorrow.

We're concerned the polyvinyl releases carcinogens as it breaks down.

That stuff belongs in automobile seats, not people.

They were real nice for six months.

- Thank you, Raquel. - Sure.

They don't teach it in medical school...

but there have been plenty of doctors who've tried everything from paraffin to...

glass balls in an attempt to make bigger breasts.

They were successful in maiming.

They were excellent at disfiguring and killing their patients.

But, on the whole...

I think you'd have to say the results were pretty terribly mixed.

Terri, 34A, dental hygienist.

That little snap of the bra clasp opening...

which to the guy, I assume, represents some rush of erotic victory.

A sound which should be a happy sound...

creates in me a feeling of horror and panic so acute...

I have an impulse to scream.

What's so funny?

I'm sorry. It's just the way you said that, it was funny.

It wasn't so funny to me.

Thank you.

- I think Kennedy's really got him this time. - Castro's gone out of his mind.

Last Tuesday morning at 9:00 AM...

I directed that our surveillance be stepped up.

Having now confirmed and completed our evaluation of the evidence...

and our decision on a course of action...

this government feels obliged to report this new crisis to you in fullest detail.

The characteristics of these new missile sites...

Hello.

I'm Dr. Saunders from the Texas Medical Center.

Hello, Dr. Saunders from the Texas Medical Center.

I know this sounds like a line...

but I'm working on a medical project and I would like to enlist your help.

You said you were a doctor. I thought doctors had lots of money.

I just finished my residency.

So you can't write prescriptions?

Why, are you sick?

- What is that? - It's a dental alginate mold.

It looks like oatmeal.

Yeah, actually. But you can't eat it.

Don't worry, it washes right off the skin.

Do you wanna take off your sweater?

Okay...

Here, sit. Would you, please?

Take this towel and put it on your lap.

Okay.

Here we go.

- It's cold! - I'm sorry.

Okay?

So all of these women are gonna be walking around with my boobs?

I suppose.

Maybe after this we can go bowling or something.

- I have this thing that I'm doing. - Okay.

Go ahead, squeeze it.

Go ahead, just squeeze it.

Squeeze it, come on!

Doesn't it feel exactly like a real breast?

- How the hell would you know? - Come on, I'm serious.

And it's safe.

Even if it broke, it's filled with salt water, which the body can absorb harmlessly.

Have you thought about what people might say?

What?

You're not in Chicago anymore.

A male doctor coming up with a way to make women's breasts bigger?

I think they'd say thank you.

Think of all the women who aren't happy with themselves...

or the women who've had mastectomies...

or whose breasts have been distorted by breastfeeding.

When I think of my own mother...

All right, that's enough. Just spare me.

Your mother's breasts?

A man can only take so much.

Over there by the bar, they'd be over the moon if you said hello.

- Honey, I see them every day. - Honey, he's a cardiologist!

Bye.

- What's the matter, William? - Why, hello, Frank, Michael.

How you doing? Quite a party! I hear they popped $10,000 on it.

There's Debakey, over there by the ice heart.

How appropriate.

I heard he had some guy the other day with a perfectly good heart...

who wanted to swap it out for a man-made one.

Simple.

You know who that is? That's Mitch Heilman, the astronaut.

- He's short. - They're doing amazing things at NASA.

I used some of that technology to create a simplified dialysis procedure.

My team's just come up with a new way of mapping neurons in the brain.

They're gonna write that up in next month's Scientific Journal.

What's new in plastic surgery?

I've developed a new aufricht retractor.

Did you find the old one inadequate?

Hey, Dr. Larson.

Anybody sitting here?

- No, by all means. - Thank you.

The edges are sharp, they'll irritate the tissue.

What?

For your breasts, the edges will irritate the tissue.

An injection molding press could fix that.

- What's the shell composed of? - A polymer mixture.

That's not gonna work.

You need an inert material.

I got a friend in Michigan who might be able to help us with this.

Help us out? What are you saying?

I'm saying let's see if we can make it work.

This is Kevin Saunders and Dr. William Larson...

the men who are going to build us a better bosom.

Only one question: How do I get on the testing committee?

Go ahead.

Open it.

I let our chemists take a look at the prosthesis you sent...

and they made some modifications.

They constructed the shell membrane out of a silicone polymer.

We're thinking of calling it the Larson.

Is that a joke?

We'll talk about it later.

It's all negotiable down the road.

You'll receive a generous royalty of each prosthesis sold.

My lawyers handling that, but the operative word is "generous."

What have you got in here?

It's filled with a medical-grade silicone gel, also completely safe.

We agreed it would be filled with saltwater solution.

We tried that but the R&D guy said it rippled and sloshed around.

Silicone gel. That's the answer.

It has the same viscosity as breast tissue and a gravity less than water.

No one will know whether they're man-made or a gift from God!

But is it safe?

It's 100 percent safe.

We originally developed silicone for use as an insulating material during World War II.

We couldn't even keep it on the Navy docks in Okinawa.

Turns out the Japs were stealing the stuff...

and injecting it directly into women's breasts.

But they were using industrial-grade liquid silicone.

There's a great deal of health risk involved in that process.

We filled these with medical-grade silicone gel...

and enclosed it in an indestructible, inert, non-reactive silastic bag.

- It won't break down? - It will not break down.

We've got the patent on silicone.

You've got something born to be made out of it.

It's the perfect marriage of industry and medicine.

Arlene, Mary Kay rep.

Can I borrow your pencil?

This is called the pencil test. It's supposed to fall to the floor.

I love my children...

but I'm a little resentful about what they did to my breasts. Thanks.

It's like someone blew up a balloon and let all the air out.

Mastectomies, breastfeeding...

We talk as doctors...

in terms of the tangible and the empirical...

but now I ask you to consider the psychological...

the mental aspects and then the opportunities that we have.

It's a low-risk operation that can be done inexpensively and quickly...

as both a reconstruction and an augmentation...

to the betterment of the...

overall self-esteem...

to the women who get it.

We can usher in a whole new world of medicine here.

Bill.

I don't know where to start...

- If you don't mind... - I'd like to finish.

What Dave is trying to say, what we're all trying to say here...

is while we are touched by your altruism...

- We're doctors and we cure people. - We're not expensive beauticians...

who like to play with bosoms.

You may not understand the despair these women endure.

The women...

If God wants a woman to have big breasts...

he gives her big breasts.

That is what we're talking about here, isn't it?

Does that mean that we shouldn't correct clubfeet?

Quiet, Dave. What I find ironic about your stupidity...

is you know what women go through who've had this procedure done!

That's the irony here!

The fact that women have tried for so long to increase their breast size...

that underscores...

you know, that this can be done safely!

Just because you've got some deranged fixation with breasts.

Once you've finished with your strippers...

and your prostitutes...

what respectable woman's gonna pay for this?

I think, Louis, that if she knew...

how you were behaving with some of your nurses...

perhaps your wife might be...

You wanna step outside?

Let me go, 'cause I'm gonna whip his ass!

- Calm down. - We can go right there...

Calm down!

Dr. Larson, get out of here.

If you feel froggy, just jump!

Queer.

Myopic pretentious idiots.

What did they say?

Forget them. We don't need their damned approval.

What happened?

You know what? We're gonna do it without them.

How?

With my money.

With my money.

You just go out there and find us the woman.

- Lola? - Yeah?

- Are you going out? - Yeah.

My associate and I...

we've been working on a new medical procedure...

by which we actually increase the size of the breast.

I thought you might wanna be the first.

What we do: We take a small cut, like a small incision...

What makes you think I'd be interested in something like that?

They'll be bigger.

- You're a disgusting little peeper. - It's all right, I'm a doctor.

I thought you might ask me out, which is bad enough.

But you wanna cut holes in me and stick bags of goo in my chest?

Stay away from me, creep!

Hello.

Good afternoon. I realize this may sound...

I'm with the... I'm Dr. Saunders, I'm sorry.

I'm with the Texas Medical Center and we're working on a new procedure.

We increase the size of...

What we're doing is, my partner and I...

Dr. Larson, have just developed a new technique, a medical procedure...

Hello. Excuse me.

What a day.

Are you happy with your existing breasts?

to increase the breast.

You know how some people wanna be first...

to do something? This is your opportunity.

I don't know if you think about your breasts.

It's for the breasts. I like your hat.

It's a medical procedure.

Like I said, you can be bigger.

Is that "no" as in "no questions"?

I'm sorry!

I am a doctor.

I'm with the Texas Medical Center and we're doing a...

Put that disgusting thing away.

If you wanted to help people, you could cure back pain or arthritis!

All right, I'm sorry.

Making women's breasts larger?

- I'm sorry. - I think it's sick. I do.

I think it's very sick. Something's wrong with you.

I'm sorry.

Put it away!

I'm just very disappointed.

Hey, Laura.

Can I see it?

Can I see the thing?

I mean...

For what it is, it actually looks pretty good.

Put it away.

Okay, I only say this to you as a friend, but...

Wipe your mouth.

This whole business of this solicitation...

it isn't doing any wonders for your reputation.

I was just sitting here...

Carrying that around and asking women, it just comes across as perverse.

If you wished that something about you was different...

and there was a way you could do it, wouldn't you do it?

Possibly. It's the way that you go about things.

I mean, it's an appealing idea, sort of.

I'm sure there are plenty of women out there...

who would love to have bigger breasts.

Do you want the operation?

- Is that a joke? - No, you said it was an appealing idea.

- Are you insulting me? - No.

I am a nurse. I am a professional.

I do not need to be insulted by you.

I was trying to be nice and help you.

Shut up.

I come from a stoic Calvinist background.

You didn't complain unless something was drastically wrong...

like a broken leg or lung cancer.

I feel crippled.

I can't go to the beach. I can't get clothes that fit.

I can't find a man. Hell, I look like a man.

Gloria Steinem says breasts are unimportant because she's got them.

For God's sake, a surgeon doesn't buckle when he encounters resistance.

This isn't resistance. These women, I'm getting anger, they hate me.

- 'Morning. - 'Morning.

I'm Dr. Larson.

You're Miss Lindsey?

I understand you have some tattoos you'd like removed.

Yes, right here. My ex-husband bought them for me.

How old is the tattoo?

Eight or nine years... It's about 10 years old.

God, they look like they haven't been watered since I got them.

Pardon?

It's just kind of embarrassing, 'cause I've had six kids...

and they're sagging.

In fact, my ex-husband used to say that I had a couple of flat feet.

Can you believe that?

What?

A transverse incision...

on the patient's right breast.

- You want bigger scissors? - Please. Thank you.

A little larger cut...

to accommodate the implant.

Let's sponge that off.

Going through the subcutaneous tissue to the pectoralis fascia.

A little suction.

A little bit of a bleeder here.

Come on.

Do some finger dissection here to open up the pocket.

A little tight squeeze, but...

Oh, boy.

The strong use of finger dissection here...

to open up the pocket, that's used medially, laterally and superiorly.

This is absurd! Would you excuse us?

The implant is inserted.

The incision is closed bilaterally using...

a running-lock 3-0 nylon suture.

The patients are told to abstain...

from vigorous activity for a period of three weeks.

And the result...

And the result is a beautifully contoured breast...

with softness comparable to that of the young adult.

The psychological well-being of women who feel crippled...

by their own perceived shortcomings...

can be cured with one simple operation.

Are the phones working?

You wanna see what I've been working on? I have an idea.

An idea?

Idea.

I got an idea of my own.

Let's...

I know, I got it.

Let's take all my money and open up a clinic...

that no one will go to for an operation they don't want.

Let's explore.

Let's experience like the kids are doing.

Let's really get into humiliation and failure.

Out of sight!

Let's suck my blood until I'm dead in the gutter.

I'm sorry.

That was your idea.

We could advertise in the newspaper.

Newspaper?

Look, this is the ad I've been working on.

You're gonna advertise my ruined career and reputation?

That's very interesting, but...

you know, doctors never advertise.

- That's because they haven't had to. - Shut up! Just leave me alone!

In fact, stay out of my sight.

Oh, my goodness.

What?

Not only am I married to a man...

who stuffs women's breasts for a living...

now everybody at the Club's gonna know about it!

Hey, you!

Don't you say one thing to me! Don't you say one word!

It's all an act, isn't it?

I thought you were a moron, but you aren't, are you?

No, you're smart. You're very smart!

How else could you ruin my life with such precision?

- You saw the... - Shut up! Not one word.

You don't speak!

What did I ever do to you?

Know what? I want your things out of my office.

I'm just gonna get you started here.

Okay, I just need you to fill this out.

Good morning, Doctors.

Yeah.

- Good morning, Dr. Larson. - Good morning, Dr. Saunders.

I want you to understand all your options.

You can go in through the crease under the breast...

through the nipple...

or through the underarm.

You can go over the muscle or behind the muscle.

We can accentuate cleavage or volume.

We can give you the classic teardrop shape.

a fuller melon-shaped breast.

Different patients react differently to pain.

We can make the nipples point up.

There might be bruising or swelling.

And there's no real maintenance. It's not like changing a tire.

You don't have to rotate them every 10,000 miles.

For most women, it's something you can do on Monday and be working Wednesday.

Although you will have to massage them frequently at first, preferably at home.

When you're 80, your breasts will still look 18.

That's left to right and then top to bottom.

Occasionally, they can harden up a little. If that happens...

you come back to us and we'll soften them up for you.

Feel better?

- We can go through the nipple. - You'll be popular at the nursing home.

- The nipple or the underarm. - Absolutely safe.

Only danger is, God forbid, you get stabbed in the chest.

We can make the nipples point up.

It's absolutely safe.

Any questions?

When can I schedule?

Would it be too soon to do it on Monday, dear?

Hey! How you doing?

What you got for me today?

More of them big old bags?

I swear, it's just like Christmas every single time you come.

- Okay, here we go, almost there. - Wait.

- Okay. - Okay?

Here we go.

They're beautiful.

You're gonna push, push in...

and lift up, okay?

Then you want to massage them gently clockwise, like this.

And counterclockwise, like this.

Every day, several times a day, okay?

Any questions?

Yeah. Show me again.

It's too much muscle!

Sorry I'm late. I had to stop off at the bank.

I got you a little surprise.

- What's this? - It's your royalty check for this month.

Oh, my God.

Do you know how much I'm gonna owe in taxes on this?

Yeah, those taxes.

They're killing me!

I understand. If someone cancels, I can schedule you.

But that's the best I can do.

How much can I pay you to cancel someone?

Ma'am, the doctors are really busy right now.

I'd like to help you if I could, but I can't.

- Hello, Laura. - Hi, Kevin.

It looks like you're doing well.

Been busy.

My sister Katy is really happy with her results.

Good.

Makes me regret I didn't take you up on your offer at Baylor...

when I could've gotten them for free.

How's Steve?

We got divorced about three months ago.

I'm sorry.

He's not such a nice guy, it turns out.

You look good.

Thanks.

But I want to look better.

I was thinking that...

maybe you could give me something like you gave Katy.

I mean, I'm a little more skinny on top and she's more...

Yeah.

You're probably totally used to this, right?

I should just show you.

Okay.

It's good to see you again.

- What do you think? - I think they're super.

Thanks!

I think we could go bigger.

How big?

They're not too small?

You don't think we should go with...

350cc, maybe?

They're perfect.

They should be. He spent four hours working on them.

- Do you want me to close? - No, I'll do it.

I don't want even a hint of a scar.

Come on, get a picture of this.

I mean...

will a guy be able to tell that I have...

you know...

Can you come here for a sec?

- Would you mind? - No.

Go ahead, touch them.

Go ahead.

Those are... They're perfect.

I wouldn't do anything to you that I wouldn't do to my wife.

Within reason.

I won't say it didn't hurt, it felt like a ton of bricks fell on my chest.

But the first time I saw my two new best friends, I was like:

"Oh, my God, it was worth it!"

My shoulders fit me now. I have a waist.

I've been reborn, I rock!

This is the way I was always meant to look.

This is about artistry.

This is not some ham-fisted, cut-and-stuff procedure.

If you approach it like it is, you'll end up with some extremely unhappy women...

with displeasing, wandering or...

walleyed breasts.

They'll be angry at you and you'll be out of business quickly.

This surgeon really completely messed this one up.

We call this one the Marty Feldman.

This guy really messed this one up.

If you perform the operation properly...

you'll receive letters from women thanking you for saving their lives.

In fact, I got...

I didn't bring them with me. Kevin, would you run and get some of the letters?

Why don't you get them? I'll take over.

That's all right. The letters, could you go get them, please?

I can handle the rest of the questions while you get them.

Laura was going through the books last night.

Really? Is Laura our accountant now?

It looks like you received a Dow Corning royalty payment last month.

Really?

I don't remember receiving my share of that.

I need more suction here.

If the truth be known...

it's because I'm stealing from you.

I'm robbing you for the fun of it.

- I wasn't accusing you of stealing. - The hell you weren't.

The hell.

Could I get some suction here?

I'm bringing you your sutures.

"Please."

"Can I get some suction here, please?"

Let's try to treat my wife with respect.

In here, she is my employee, she is not your wife.

Is that a problem?

Because if that's a problem, I'll get a new employee.

Let me get this right. They won't explode when you're flying.

They didn't when I flew up here from Texas.

Bert, there are many augmented flight attendants...

and I don't believe I've ever heard of any problems.

- They do help me swim a lot better. - All right.

Tell us, what kind of woman has her breasts augmented?

- There are so many... - The typical woman who comes to see us...

Excuse me, can I finish?

She has a husband who isn't maturing as quickly as she is.

The girls flock around him, he looks good on the golf course.

Meanwhile, she's borne all the children, her breasts are sagging...

and she wants the operation so she can feel good again.

In one respect, it isn't important what he thinks you look like.

What's important is what you think he thinks you look like.

- That's exactly right. - Very well put.

Actually, you're like psychiatrists with knives!

- In a way, yes. - No, I...

We get lots of referrals from psychiatrists.

They know how important it is for a woman to be able to...

buy a bathing suit without getting depressed.

Or walk into a room in a strapless dress, knowing heads will turn.

That's why we've come up with this natural-feel implant.

What? What we came up with?

I don't remember you coming up with anything.

- Do you want to go somewhere and confer? - Honey, let's not get into this.

Let's get right into it. What exactly, specifically, did you come up with?

- I don't think this is the time or place. - What?

By "come up with," you mean what? "To steal"?

By "come up with" meaning "to take undeserved credit"?

- You know better than that. - What do you mean by "come up with"?

I provided you with the knowledge.

Provided you with the knowledge, the finances...

the surgical expertise, the credibility.

Credibility? Fuck!

What would you have done?

A 25-year-old resident who nearly got kicked out of medical school.

Who never once performed a surgery.

- Isn't that a bit self-delusional? - I would've done fine without you.

- You would've done nothing. - I would've done fine.

Then, my friend, why don't you try it? Why don't you try doing fine without me?

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Come on.

How do I get this thing off?

Someone help her with her equipment. Dear, you're welcome to...

- Thank you. - Thank you.

So much for the magic of live television.

We're still here with the remaining inventor of the silicone implant.

I don't think so.

Excuse me, I'm sorry. Little twerp.

I work at a chocolate factory.

That's very interesting. We may explore that a little more.

I said, "He's insane!" That's right, he's lost his grasp on... Come on!

He's lost his grasp on reality. Hello? He's berserk!

It was difficult but I had to let him go, he didn't leave.

Because our patients deserve the best results.

Some of his work was...

I felt that I could not stand behind him.

When I came up with the implant idea, he had trouble even saying "breast."

Thank you.

He would proposition women...

while they were still on the table.

You want toilet plunger breasts? He's the man!

You want numb nipples? You want nipples that won't get erect?

Call me old-fashioned, call me anything you want to.

Wrecked, ugly, wrecked nipples!

Every patient was a potential date for him.

What? Did he tell you that?

Of course I can't reveal names.

Hold on. Can I ask you something? Did you sleep with my patients?

Did you sleep with my patients?

You didn't? Can you prove it?

Can you prove it?

No you can't, can you? You can't prove a negative, can you?

Isn't that some, Jesus Christ...

some journalistic axiom or something?

You're an investigative reporter, aren't you?

Why don't you do some investigating?

- Is Mrs. Hummings here? - No.

Did she not show up?

No.

What the fuck?

Is that the third no-show this week?

That son of a bitch. I knew he'd do something like this.

- Who are you talking about, sweet pea? - Larson, goddamn it.

That son of a bitch, he's clogged our appointment book...

with these phony appointments.

But, honey, we have plenty of open slots.

This is what I want you to do: Call his office, start booking appointments.

Use a fake name.

Book a breast augmentation and a nose job every half hour, a skin graft, okay?

You're talking like a crazy person and I am now ignoring you.

- Pick up the phone. - No.

- Pick up the phone! - No!

We have had six patients this week.

We can't make any prank phone calls, because we can't pay our phone bill.

Did you call Health and Fitness Magazine about buying an ad? Did you?

No, I did not.

Pick up the phone.

We can't run any ads...

because we are totally and completely out of money.

What are you saying?

I am so frustrated.

We don't have any money.

The fact is, Dr. Saunders...

you were an employee of Dr. Larson's when you aided in the conception of this...

"Aided in the conception?" We were partners. I invented it.

All royalties from Dow Corning are controlled directly by him.

Admit it, between you and me, man to man, no one else around...

just tell me it's bullshit, isn't it?

It's wrong. It's bullshit.

His previous generosity towards you in no way obligates him...

This is unbelievable. You're going straight to hell.

You son of a bitch, you're going to hell.

Talk to Dow.

- Can't get into your car? - Watch it.

Sue me, prick.

I talked to our legal department before I came down here.

There's nothing we can do to alter the original royalty agreement.

What I can do is negotiate more favorable terms on the price of implants...

if you order in bulk.

You don't understand something. I don't need cheaper implants.

I need women to put them into!

You can go, grandma!

What the hell?

What I need is a good bankruptcy lawyer and a gun.

A gun with a bullet to put through my fucking head.

You need to calm down and relax.

Turn here.

What is this place?

A testament to all the good you've done.

Hey, Gerald! Wonderful to see you again.

- It's been a long time. How's it going? - Great seeing you.

I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Saunders, the plastic surgeon I was telling you about.

Wonderful to meet you. I'm Andy Rinough. Welcome to Remy's.

Thanks.

Would you like to join me upstairs?

- I'd like to go upstairs. Would you? - What's upstairs?

Come on.

We got ourselves a new baby girl.

Gentlemen, put your hands together.

Sit right over here.

How you doing?

This is unbelievable.

Here we go.

I'm a big fan of your work.

- Dr. Saunders? - Yes?

Hi! Don't you remember me?

I'm Savannah. I used to be Jessica.

Yes.

Dr. Saunders, you gave me these.

I just love them.

They're great.

I love this song.

It's funky.

- Can I dance for you? - No, thank you. Thanks very much.

Breasts: They have this powerful duality...

as both signage designed to attract the opposite sex...

and then as a food source to nurture the offspring of the alliance.

They also give off special energy because they're circles within circles.

I hate to put a label on myself, but I am a feminist.

I got the surgery, not in spite of, but because of that fact.

I think obtaining a culturally rewarded appearance...

as politically incorrect as that sounds, is a liberating experience.

Hi, Vanessa.

You can't smoke in here.

I'm sorry.

I'm very unhappy.

What's wrong? Is everything okay with the augmentation?

They're disgusting.

What do you mean?

They're disgusting and flat, not big enough.

I feel like a boy. I want them bigger.

Your breasts are perfect.

They're great.

You've had...

what would be considered a very large augmentation eight months ago.

It's not good enough anymore. It was at first and now it isn't.

In the before-and-after picture, you're already in the "after."

Do you understand?

You can make them bigger.

- I'm sorry, I can't do that. - Bullshit!

You can. You put more stuff in them and they'll get bigger.

What I'm saying is, I've never performed an operation...

that I didn't feel would be cosmetically beneficial.

What you're asking for, it wouldn't make you look...

You have to stop smoking.

I want them to be big.

Really big. That's what I want.

- I'm sorry. - It's all right, sweetie. Okay.

This woman is huge!

She wants to be bigger, all right?

I think she's big enough.

Scalpel?

No.

Come on.

Scalpel?

Thank you.

They tell me I drive too fast. I already got five speeding tickets.

Know what I'm saying?

I'll be back.

Don't even start.

For God's sake! She's not going to be able to buy clothes.

It's what the woman wants and we need the money.

- What kind of job is she going to have? - It's none of our business.

Don't ever walk out of surgery again.

Look at that.

- She's incredible. - She's beautiful.

It's not too big?

She's making $1,000 a week, they're not too big.

Know what I'm going to do?

I'm gonna get every girl who wants to have their boobs done...

and I'm gonna have them done by you.

- You'll refer them to me? - I'll direct them to you. Go on, take a hit.

- No, I've had enough. - Come on, be a man.

I'm gonna refer them to you and in return, you'll pay me some kind of referral fee.

What kind of referral fee are you talking about?

I don't know. Maybe 10, 15 percent...

10 percent of what you charge.

This is the best promotion you can ever hope for.

When men see her...

you'll have their wives in your office the next day.

Marker.

- Guys wanna get their hands on these. - Jesus!

These women with National Geographic boobs drooping around their waist...

of course their boyfriends look at me.

I needed my teeth fixed, too, but I only had enough money for one.

I think I made the right choice. No one notices my teeth are crooked.

Excuse me, Bill.

Look at that.

Oh, my goodness. Same designers. You'll have to keep your distance.

Are those my breasts? They look awfully familiar.

That's a completely different style. It's teardrop shaped.

I paid couture prices, you better not have given me ready-to-wear.

My goodness.

Oh, dear.

Where's the food? Do you know where the food is?

No, that's liquor, sir.

Excuse me for a moment, won't you?

Are you guys hungry?

Hold on. Hello.

Don't walk away, I'm not done with you. Thank you.

You can't do that.

Hello, Kevin.

Well, hello, Bill.

I'd like to personally thank you...

for dispelling the notion of ethics in plastic surgery.

They were actually beginning to take us seriously and you set us back 10 years.

- I did? How did I do that? - How?

By this.

By your behavior.

Your whole behavior, your lack of integrity, your damn persona.

You make them too big.

I give the customers what they ask for, you jackass.

- Different women want different things. - Really?

To look like circus freaks?

Freaks?

You call them freaks, that's very telling. I find that very telling about you.

What you're doing is perverse.

Go to hell.

It's always nice to see you.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Mutilating your body to fulfill some kind of male pornographic fantasy!

I am not fulfilling anybody's fantasy. I did this for myself, honey.

You did it because Playboy tells you...

Don't tell me why I did what I did, all right?

Phil, I think it's important to realize that...

many intelligent women find the operation empowering.

Hold on!

I think these women are jealous. They know that girl... What's her name?

- Cindy. - They know Cindy looks better than them.

- Please! - I'd have the operation if I could afford it.

Do you do charity work?

Charity work, Doctor, how about that?

In most tribal societies, this is the ideal.

Sagging breasts are a sign of beauty...

symbolizing pregnancy and childbirth.

Only in our culture is this the ideal:

An upright, adolescent breast.

What this doctor has created is this Barbie-doll look.

It's a body type simply not found in nature.

I think it's important to draw a distinction between reasonable, ethical doctors...

such as myself and Dr. Franklin Rose, a handful of others.

This woman, and I'm sure you're a nice woman.

Thank you, Doctor.

She's not one of my patients and she's not representative of my work.

My doctor is Kevin Saunders.

Hi, Kevin.

I love what you do for me.

How is it? Is it good?

I think I just burst a blood vessel.

Look, you missed some. You'll have to try it again.

Are you trying to take advantage of me?

You're a very bad girl. You're very bad. You're wicked.

Hello.

I'm sorry.

I used to work in investment banking and was totally respected for my mind.

For reasons unrelated to work, I decided to get the surgery done.

The strangest thing happened:

All the guys I worked with began treating me like a moronic bimbo.

I've known them for years, and now they were calling me...

baby and doll face and sweet pants.

It's like in one weekend, I went from being a respected equal...

to some kind of totally vacuous, available, helpless, slut secretary.

Like I'd paid the doctor to take out my brain and stuff it in my tits.

Here we are!

Come on, don't be shy.

He built this house when he got divorced in '83.

30,000 square feet.

- Hey, Bitsy. - Hey there!

Marble floors from Italy. Honduras mahogany railings.

Lots of these Impressionist paintings from France.

They say he can have me ready by the August issue.

He's the Penthouse plastic surgeon.

He can take a dump truck and hammer her into a Ferrari.

That's my favorite car!

Don't be afraid to go too big.

Dr. Saunders can fit in 400cc implants...

when every other surgeon is saying they can't squeeze in 200cc.

- Hi, hon. How you feeling? - Good!

- Hey, girls! - Hi, Judith!

That's Janice.

She's going out with a very famous star...

whose name you would recognize if I said it.

But I can't.

He's paying to have the implants her old boyfriend gave her...

replaced with new implants.

Some of the girls like to come here to rest up after the operation.

- Here you are, Doctor. - Thanks.

That's Summer. Hey, girl.

She's here to prepare for her Falcon Crest audition.

This is Ashley.

- Hello, Ashley. - Hi.

Thank you. How was your flight?

Great. I'm so excited to be here!

We're excited to have you here.

Jennifer, you wanna get Ashley a cocktail?

- Are you hungry? - No.

It's all right if you are.

- Hello, George. How are you? - Dr. Larson.

- Aren't you speaking today? - In about 15 minutes. Join us.

- Dr. William Larson? - Yes, sir?

I don't know if you remember me or not. We talked in the '85 convention.

Jim Kidder.

Honey, come here. I'm sure you remember.

I am such a fan. I've always known you're a genius.

This is Dr. Larson. He invented what you got right there!

You know what? I've got a funny idea. This is funny.

Don't you think it'd be funny if you... Could you autograph those?

That would be great.

- A little unusual. - It'd mean so much.

Bless your heart.

- Could you sign mine, too, please? - This is getting to be a little silly, now.

Oh, my God.

Sign them, you fucker.

Lady, please.

- This is what you did to me. - You don't need to do this in here.

It's a little embarrassing. Please put your sweater down.

You don't have anything to say to me?

Yes, I do. Put your sweater down or I'll have security take you out.

Fuck you.

- Ma'am, let's go. - Goddamn you.

Fuck off! Goddamn you!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

That's not right.

- Sorry, sir. - Excuse me.

We can make you look something...

like this.

- No? - Not really.

It's nice, but if you really want to stop the trains...

we can do something like that.

Then, we would take your nipple...

move it up to here.

It's hard to believe, right?

She had an augmentation in '87.

I think if she'd gone bigger...

her career would be in better shape today.

Half of Hollywood is wearing my breasts.

It's true: Pamela Anderson, Dolly Parton, Cher.

In fact, Victoria's real secret is that everyone in that catalog are my patients.

This is all off the record, of course.

They're fantasy in the flesh. The perfect female form.

That's me!

Here's the man responsible for this veritable Garden of Eden.

Meet Dr. Kevin Saunders.

I think if she'd gone bigger, her career would be in better shape today.

One of the inventors of the silicone breast implant...

and one of the country's most prolific breast men...

Dr. Saunders doesn't hesitate to brag about his work.

Victoria's real secret...

is all the women in the catalog are my patients.

It's true, day after day, I work with women's breasts.

It's a terrible job, but someone's got to do it.

While Dr. Saunders is laughing...

thousands of women are suffering from silicone-induced autoimmune disease.

Health eroded, hopes destroyed, Jane went back into the operating room.

This is what came out of her body.

I had...

leakage from my right breast of a clear liquid.

Leakage from the nipple...

fever, pneumonia, chest pains. I knew there was something very wrong.

Karen was diagnosed with a disease of the immune system called lupus.

I was absolutely shocked to find out it was silicone.

It was leaking from me for two years.

Had I known these things could rupture, I never would've had this done.

I thought they would last a lifetime.

What are you left with now?

Where's my fucking phone? Get me my cellular! Goddamn it.

tell people about what's happened to me, but...

You're not going to die.

I know you're scared, but it was just a TV show.

Do you believe everything you see on TV?

I'm sorry. Could you hold on, please?

You have 36 cancellations this week and two death threats, one sounds serious.

The Times, Tribune, Post, and Sun want to speak with you.

Channels 2, 4, 5 and 11 all want you on the news tonight.

They found three women out of three million...

and they put them on TV.

That's what you call reasonable journalism.

Hush up, we got a surprise for you.

All right. One, two, three.

Will you listen to what I'm telling you?

Silicone is in everything.

It's in potato chips, it's in antacids. Are you wearing lipstick?

What is this connective tissue disease?

I'm not sure these nice people want to listen to that right now.

What are people doing today? Where's the statistics?

- Happy birthday. - Isn't that great?

Maybe you should think about this in another way.

In the way of a balance.

Nature has a balance...

which you should explore the possibility that you have, in a karmic sense, upset.

A karmic sense?

20,000 lawsuits and Dow's lawyers are talking about settling.

May I have the keys?

They're frightened. It'll cost more to fight even if they win.

- The goddamn car keys! - Economic realities.

What do you need the car keys for? Where are you going?

I'm guilty because of my karma? Is that what you're saying?

You're gonna talk to me about my karma? Go ahead.

You're fucked.

You are really fucked, karmically.

Get out.

- Damn bastards. - I gotta get going.

There's one or two more here.

We'll have the last laugh when the truth comes out.

20,000 court cases, but...

they got no evidence.

Do you want to see the evidence?

There.

Right there. Maria Stern.

38 years old.

Can't even get to church on Sunday.

I'm going on record right now...

and saying that science can be bought today.

Take a good look at that.

That's what an explanted silicone implant looks like.

Brought to you by the same people who brought you Agent Orange.

Lawyers don't give a damn about women.

Money comes in, they knock them out of the way to get their 50 percent first.

I do blame Dr. Saunders and I do blame Dr. Larson!

I think they made millions and they knew!

They knew...

that these things were making women sick!

I got one.

How many lawyers does it take to kick a nun's teeth in for 50 cents?

How many?

Hell, all of them!

All of them.

We, the jury, in the above-entitled action...

find the defendant, Dow Corning Corporation...

guilty of willful misconduct and award the plaintiff $200,000...

$840,000 in compensatory damages...

$6.5 million in punitive damage...

$25 million, including punitive damages.

There's no proven correlation between the sick women and the implants.

Thank you. No more questions.

I've never seen a jury so flagrantly biased.

Shut up.

This isn't over yet, we'll appeal. This judge is an idiot.

I've heard enough out of you. I said I want you to shut up.

Hello, Kevin.

Been golfing any lately?

No.

My game's gone to hell.

Today, I'm requesting a moratorium...

on the further use of all silicone gel breast implants.

David Kessler should read the Mayo Clinic and the Harvard Medical School studies.

The number of sick women with implants is proportional...

to the sick women in the general population.

You think anyone is gonna want to introduce a new medical product...

after what happened here?

You couldn't get aspirin approved by the FDA today.

I don't doubt that these women are genuinely sick and I feel sorry for them.

The question is, "Why?"

The problem is that the majority...

the women who are happy with their implants...

aren't gonna stand up at their next town meeting and say:

"Excuse me, I have augmented breasts and I'm pleased as Punch with them."

We got a lottery mentality in this country.

It tells us, "Why work when you can sue someone?"

If they're gonna ban anything...

why don't they ban the silicone penile implants?

Know why they don't?

Because half of Congress has them.

And they're nothing but a bunch of goddamn hypocrites!

How do you explain...

the medical community's own reluctance to support you?

You work hard all your life.

You are trying...

to live a life that is decent and honest.

You're trying to help people.

You anticipate that...

one day you'll be told thank you.

But instead, you're attacked.

It's like the goddamn sky opened up...

and you're assaulted with this...

vicious, mean-spirited...

Hell. I forgot, I don't know what it is.

I don't know.

- We're gonna take a break... - It's a bunch of bullshit.

If you have silicone breast implants and are experiencing these symptoms...

please call 1-800-RUPTURE.

- A lot of girls say they're getting sick. - Did you talk to them?

I'm not a doctor.

I know you're not a doctor. Did you explain to them?

- I didn't explain. All I know... - Even if there's a leak, it gets trapped.

There's a capsule of scar tissue.

The girls feel uncomfortable when you're around.

- There's no risk involved. - Go home.

Go home and don't come back.

Fuck you.

The instant I saw them, I knew I'd made a horrible mistake.

I was paranoid. I felt like everyone would look at me...

and know that I was vain and insecure and say:

"Jesus, who do you think you're fooling?"

- Why not have them removed? - Like I need to have more explaining to do.

You have sinus trouble? A little bit? Okay.

That shouldn't be a problem.

I have to ask a few more questions. Do you have Medicaid?

Medicado?

I can try and strip them.

That's pretty expensive and insurance won't cover it.

Why don't I just recommend a good pair of support hose?

Hi.

How are you?

Not good.

I've been sick.

What's the matter?

What are your symptoms?

I'm tired.

I'm tired all the time.

My mouth is dry.

My eyes are dry.

I have this...

constant pain on the left side of my body.

The scariest part is...

nobody can seem to tell me why.

We're gonna do a complete workup on you.

Take some blood. Let me get the nurse.

I just want them out.

I figured that you put them in...

so you'd know best how to take them out.

I just want them out.

Doctor, I'm going to the ladies' room.

I wouldn't think of it as a removal, so to speak.

You're actually acquiring a new sense of well-being.

We'll explant the silicone implant, which will be fully covered by your insurance.

If you want to swap, I think you'll be very happy with our new saline implants.

Of course, you'll have peace of mind.

It's a personal choice. I know it's not easy.

The point is to take away the worry so you can focus on what really matters.

It's your body.

That's what is important, that you feel comfortable.

I like to think of saline as a natural, more organic procedure.

I'm sorry this whole thing has made you depressed.

The point now is not to be depressed, but to take positive action.

Perhaps trading up to a larger size would be a pick-me-up.

My original implant contained saline. I told them from the start: saline.

You'll get two free visits and a holistic mineral and relaxation kit.

Tension and anxiety are the two greatest causes of health problems.

Actually, you are making more to take them out, aren't you?

$7,000 to put them in. You charge me again?

You charge me again to take them out and then...

To put in the new ones, the safe ones...

You're charging me again.

It costs more to take them out.

Insurance covers 80 percent.

But you make more, actually.

$7,000 to put them in.

$4,800 to take them out, another $2,000 for the saline.

Another $1,000 for the OR...

Okay, when do I schedule?

When can I schedule?

When could we schedule?

You think we can put in a larger size?

Call Keddrick and tell him to fix it or get it out.

It's too fucking hot, that's why. And it's not herbal.

I paid for an herbal sauna.

He sends me this goddamn Marquis de Sade sauna.

It smells like shit and it scalds anyone who steps into it!

Who else called?

Tell him I'll call him back. I should be in soon.

All right? So I'm right around the corner.

Fuck!

I've always had a strong image of what kind of space I wanted to occupy.

This just isn't it.

I'm not ashamed about spending money.

You have a nice car, you pay for its upkeep, right?

My mom's like this '60s hippie...

who thinks breast implants are part of some plot to control women.

People think only bimbos and actresses get implants.

Why do I have to have 18-year-old, shoulder-level breasts, anyway?

You can talk about beauty being on the inside...

but no one's gonna come inside unless you got curve appeal.

I run my own company, I've got a nice house...

I feel breasts are the real basis of femininity.

- I can get my stomach flatter at the gym. - It's not the same as a penis.

They have form and function based on the concept of giving.

A penis isn't on display, it doesn't have to fill a sweater.

You have glands and nipples. Everything you need.

Frankly to me, all penises look pretty much the same.

See how naturally they move?

My doctor is an artist.

He has a vision of how the female body should look.

For women, breasts are the body part that most profoundly...

It's my body, I've got to live with it.

After I got them, men who never noticed me were dying to go out with me.

They aren't all that important, are they?

Can I put my shirt back on now?