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1
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,346
Now, easy, boy.
2
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,143
Steady. Wait, whoa!
3
00:00:11,352 --> 00:00:14,412
Fucking wings!
What's going on?
4
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,560
Fucking white horse!
5
00:01:29,831 --> 00:01:31,093
lt's not bad, dude.
6
00:01:31,299 --> 00:01:33,392
Don't give up your day job.
7
00:01:41,409 --> 00:01:43,274
ls he Milli or Vanilli?
8
00:01:44,712 --> 00:01:46,771
You are a genius.
9
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,027
-Hey, Andy.
-Yo, Eddie!
10
00:02:07,235 --> 00:02:09,226
Drinks on the house!
11
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,025
Hey, baby!
12
00:02:43,604 --> 00:02:45,299
Hollywood.
13
00:03:08,663 --> 00:03:09,721
Hold it!
14
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:02,913
Hold it!
15
00:04:07,855 --> 00:04:10,221
-Thank you.
-No problem.
16
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:16,089
l'm in love.
You're a fox, baby.
17
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,926
Not just a fox,
but the fox of foxes!
18
00:04:20,401 --> 00:04:23,461
lf l was a hound dog,
you wouldn't stand a chance.
19
00:04:23,671 --> 00:04:27,573
l'd be snapping at you
day and night.
20
00:04:28,109 --> 00:04:29,599
l'm a snapper.
21
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,908
Edward Dash?
22
00:04:33,114 --> 00:04:34,809
-That's me.
-Take a seat.
23
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:38,008
Well, Mr. Dash...
24
00:04:38,219 --> 00:04:42,178
...for your probation, you owe us
1 00 hours of community service.
25
00:04:42,390 --> 00:04:44,517
Let's see what we've got.
26
00:04:48,696 --> 00:04:51,756
The L.A. Housing Facility
needs help with bricklaying.
27
00:04:51,966 --> 00:04:54,161
No laying bricks or stuff like that.
28
00:04:54,702 --> 00:04:56,602
l don't do that lifting shit.
29
00:04:56,804 --> 00:04:58,931
-Graffiti removal?
-You heard what l said?
30
00:04:59,140 --> 00:05:02,701
Does that preclude you
from doing anything strenuous?
31
00:05:02,910 --> 00:05:05,378
Yes, it precludes me.
32
00:05:07,215 --> 00:05:10,480
We do have a few
less strenuous activities.
33
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,176
But they involve helping
the disadvantaged...
34
00:05:13,387 --> 00:05:15,514
...and there are certain requirements.
35
00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:19,989
l can have a degree here in 24 hours.
From Harvard!
36
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,684
A degree isn't necessary.
37
00:05:21,896 --> 00:05:24,797
lt's a matter of
patience and kindness.
38
00:05:24,999 --> 00:05:27,331
What they're looking for
is a ''people person.''
39
00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:28,502
That's me.
40
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,228
Are you telling me
you are a ''people person''?
41
00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:33,907
That's what l'm telling you.
42
00:05:38,012 --> 00:05:39,673
How about spending some time...
43
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:42,782
...with a voluntary patient
from the Rivington Clinic?
44
00:05:42,984 --> 00:05:43,814
No lifting?
45
00:05:44,018 --> 00:05:45,508
The Rivington is a sanitarium.
46
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,985
Your job would be
to accompany the individual...
47
00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:51,658
...to various therapeutic
and cultural pursuits.
48
00:05:51,859 --> 00:05:55,693
l guess that means taking a patient
to the ballet or museum.
49
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,559
Museum?
l know a great one of those.
50
00:05:58,766 --> 00:05:58,833
I can handIe this.
51
00:05:58,833 --> 00:06:00,630
I can handIe this.
52
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:05,369
George, you've been ready for months
to go back into the world.
53
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,131
But you have to feel ready.
54
00:06:07,341 --> 00:06:08,831
Do you feel ready, George?
55
00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:10,510
l don't know.
56
00:06:10,945 --> 00:06:12,071
He's not ready.
57
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:13,972
You're scared, aren't you?
58
00:06:14,181 --> 00:06:16,513
You're scared a girl will ask
to see your mickey.
59
00:06:16,717 --> 00:06:18,275
That's enough, Brad.
Let him talk.
60
00:06:18,486 --> 00:06:20,113
No, no, that's not it.
61
00:06:20,521 --> 00:06:23,615
He's just scared of lying.
lsn't that right, Pinoc?
62
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:29,025
And then his nose starts growing.
l hate when that happens.
63
00:06:30,031 --> 00:06:32,932
Are you afraid you might
start to lie again, George?
64
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:38,565
What's a pathological liar
going to say? ''Now l'm going to lie''?
65
00:06:38,873 --> 00:06:42,036
Yesterday, you couldn't wait to go.
Do you remember?
66
00:06:42,243 --> 00:06:44,973
You said, ''l'm a-ready, Teddy-o!''
67
00:06:45,346 --> 00:06:47,473
What did you say yesterday?
68
00:06:47,815 --> 00:06:49,112
l'm a-ready, Teddy-o.
69
00:06:52,086 --> 00:06:55,578
Hit the deck! lncoming!
70
00:06:56,424 --> 00:06:57,914
Why are you afraid, George?
71
00:06:59,126 --> 00:07:01,026
Why can't l just stay here?
72
00:07:01,228 --> 00:07:03,128
Why do l have to go?
l like it here.
73
00:07:03,431 --> 00:07:05,490
-l feel safe here.
-American 357.
74
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:06,724
Why can't l stay?
75
00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:09,164
Definitely U.S. Air.
Excellent airline.
76
00:07:09,370 --> 00:07:11,065
Flight 202 from Baltimore.
77
00:07:12,273 --> 00:07:14,935
There's a nice
young man coming here...
78
00:07:15,142 --> 00:07:18,669
...to take you to find you
an apartment and a job.
79
00:07:18,879 --> 00:07:21,143
You're looking forward to that,
aren't you?
80
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:31,516
He's afraid he'll see his girlfriend
and won't be able to get it up.
81
00:07:31,726 --> 00:07:33,159
-No, l'm not.
-ls that it, George?
82
00:07:34,528 --> 00:07:35,790
Anyway, she dumped me.
83
00:07:36,097 --> 00:07:39,692
She dumped you because
you said you were a brain surgeon!
84
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,424
l did not say that.
85
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:42,602
What'd you tell her?
86
00:07:42,803 --> 00:07:44,270
A commando in the Navy Seals.
87
00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:49,369
Why do you feel
you always had to lie to her?
88
00:07:51,412 --> 00:07:56,349
She wouldn't have looked at me twice
if l said l was a Volvo salesman.
89
00:07:56,550 --> 00:07:58,814
Excuse me, sir.
l hate to bother you.
90
00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:01,181
l know you're busy with the therapy.
91
00:08:01,389 --> 00:08:02,879
l need to clear something up.
92
00:08:03,324 --> 00:08:05,724
You're not the governor of California?
93
00:08:06,227 --> 00:08:09,958
Did you fellows know he's been lying?
l have egg on my face.
94
00:08:24,412 --> 00:08:25,401
Hello?
95
00:08:25,613 --> 00:08:28,207
Can you help me find Nurse Fletcher?
96
00:08:29,150 --> 00:08:31,345
The dailies were great.
l don't understand.
97
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,646
They said the dailies were great.
l don't understand.
98
00:08:34,855 --> 00:08:35,844
Your brother?
99
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:39,049
This would be a marvelous time
to extract the present...
100
00:08:39,260 --> 00:08:40,227
...for George.
101
00:08:40,428 --> 00:08:43,727
Very well, Mr. Spock.
Gentlemen, set your phasers on stun.
102
00:08:45,266 --> 00:08:50,067
George, on behalf of my entire crew,
Spock, Bones, Scotty...
103
00:08:50,271 --> 00:08:52,535
...we'd like to present you with a gift.
104
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:55,208
Something we picked up on Rigel lV.
105
00:08:55,409 --> 00:08:58,776
lt's our way of saying good luck
out there in the world.
106
00:08:58,979 --> 00:09:01,709
Show them what you're made of.
Live long...
107
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:02,905
...and prosper.
108
00:09:03,117 --> 00:09:06,245
Go where no man has gone before!
109
00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:08,445
Phil, will you shut up!
l think he gets it.
110
00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:11,921
-l was simply saying....
-l'm very touched.
111
00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,221
l must say, l didn't expect....
112
00:09:18,265 --> 00:09:19,664
-A hat.
-An Honest...
113
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:21,391
...Abe hat.
114
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:24,400
lt's to house your mickey
after a busy day of lying.
115
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,436
l know it's insulting to you.
116
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,437
But the fellows did craft it.
117
00:09:28,642 --> 00:09:31,611
l'm not insulted by this.
Far from it.
118
00:09:31,812 --> 00:09:33,507
l'm going to wear this hat.
119
00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:36,046
l've earned it.
120
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:37,842
l'll treasure it.
121
00:09:38,352 --> 00:09:39,979
l'm not afraid anymore, Teddy.
122
00:09:40,421 --> 00:09:41,718
l'm ready for my new life.
123
00:09:41,922 --> 00:09:43,150
Then say it, George!
124
00:09:43,357 --> 00:09:45,325
l'm a-ready, Teddy. Go!
125
00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:48,722
Have you ever worked with
the mentally challenged, Mr. Dash?
126
00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:51,796
Well, my sister's a loony.
127
00:09:52,199 --> 00:09:53,791
What sort of work do you do?
128
00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:56,469
A little bit of this,
little bit of that.
129
00:09:56,670 --> 00:10:01,607
Look!
There he is, with the hat.
130
00:10:02,009 --> 00:10:03,840
Can l have your Heath bars?
131
00:10:04,044 --> 00:10:07,741
Wait, l got a lot of stuff to do,
you know?
132
00:10:07,948 --> 00:10:09,245
Places to go,
people to meet.
133
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:11,418
You needn't worry about George.
134
00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:13,416
He's not a lunatic.
135
00:10:13,621 --> 00:10:15,020
Come on.
136
00:10:17,124 --> 00:10:18,182
That must be him.
137
00:10:18,392 --> 00:10:19,950
lf he starts having fits...
138
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:23,358
...l'll be across the street.
l don't want to be around that.
139
00:10:23,564 --> 00:10:26,533
Mr. Dash, l hope
you'll be patient with George.
140
00:10:26,734 --> 00:10:29,828
-He looks like a nice man.
-l'll say hello and bring him here.
141
00:10:30,037 --> 00:10:31,595
See you in a minute.
142
00:10:32,706 --> 00:10:33,536
Eddie.
143
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,671
Eddie, hi.
144
00:10:39,079 --> 00:10:41,013
Playing games already, Eddie?
145
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,278
This is Eddie, isn't it?
146
00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:47,685
-George, this is Eddie Dash.
-l knew it! Hello, Eddie.
147
00:10:49,089 --> 00:10:52,115
Don't you kiss me no more.
l'm going to kick your ass.
148
00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:54,594
He's going to kick my ass!
149
00:10:56,931 --> 00:10:57,863
Funny.
150
00:10:58,065 --> 00:11:01,000
-l want you to meet the guys.
-Don't touch me.
151
00:11:04,538 --> 00:11:05,470
Come on.
152
00:11:07,741 --> 00:11:09,003
He's not a lunatic?
153
00:11:09,977 --> 00:11:11,877
-Don't touch me!
-Motherfu--
154
00:11:12,279 --> 00:11:14,804
Hi, everybody.
This is Eddie, my new best friend.
155
00:11:15,015 --> 00:11:18,974
Eddie, this is Teddy
and Phil and Tim.
156
00:11:19,186 --> 00:11:21,416
Appreciate it,
but we got to go, you see.
157
00:11:21,622 --> 00:11:24,750
My car's out front.
Come on, let's go!
158
00:11:24,959 --> 00:11:27,723
Eddie says we have to go now.
l better get going.
159
00:11:27,928 --> 00:11:29,759
So long, everybody.
Goodbye, nurse.
160
00:11:29,964 --> 00:11:31,056
Goodbye, George.
161
00:11:31,265 --> 00:11:33,199
lf you need anything, just call.
162
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,233
-See you later.
-Write me!
163
00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:50,913
l can't tell you how wonderful
it feels to be out on my own again.
164
00:11:51,118 --> 00:11:53,484
l'm not sorry about
my time at the clinic...
165
00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:56,383
...because they did me
a world of good.
166
00:11:56,590 --> 00:12:00,458
l don't regret any of that.
l wish l could tell you sometime.
167
00:12:00,661 --> 00:12:03,459
But l mean reading articles,
seeing newspapers...
168
00:12:03,664 --> 00:12:06,758
...watching life and the world
and everything on television--
169
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:09,595
l'm just anxious
to be a part of it again.
170
00:12:10,738 --> 00:12:13,104
l understand they put basil
on everything now.
171
00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:14,672
l'm very fond of basil.
172
00:12:14,875 --> 00:12:17,708
Basil is an herb
whose time has truly come.
173
00:12:18,412 --> 00:12:20,642
l'm not letting you talk at all.
174
00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:23,578
lt just occurred to me.
l'm hogging the conversation.
175
00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:26,685
l don't give you
a chance to get in there.
176
00:12:26,887 --> 00:12:28,377
Jabber, jabber, jabber....
177
00:12:28,589 --> 00:12:30,887
l'm trying to make a good impression.
178
00:12:31,091 --> 00:12:34,083
When l want to make a good
impression, l talk and talk.
179
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,786
-Jabber, jabber, jabber.
-Shut the fuck up!
180
00:12:36,997 --> 00:12:38,259
Sorry.
181
00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:42,631
There it is!
182
00:12:43,404 --> 00:12:45,167
-What?
-The museum!
183
00:12:45,372 --> 00:12:47,966
This is going to be fun.
184
00:12:48,175 --> 00:12:51,167
You'll have a good day
and take care of your life.
185
00:12:53,113 --> 00:12:54,444
Aren't you coming with me?
186
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:57,344
l'd love to,
but l got a church group thing.
187
00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:01,613
Eddie, you can't just leave me here.
188
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:05,986
Please, l circled the want ads.
l thought you would help me find--
189
00:13:06,226 --> 00:13:08,091
Culture. There it is!
190
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:10,263
Culture's all you want.
Right there!
191
00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,431
l haven't been on my own
for over 3 years.
192
00:13:16,637 --> 00:13:21,233
You're not alone. They got everything
from Dolly Parton to the Pope.
193
00:13:23,143 --> 00:13:26,704
Eddie, just give me a minute
to get used to the idea, okay?
194
00:13:27,981 --> 00:13:29,175
Ready?
195
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,553
No, l'm terrified!
196
00:13:35,756 --> 00:13:37,189
Don't be terrified.
197
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:38,483
Hey, George!
198
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:40,824
Got any money?
199
00:13:41,328 --> 00:13:42,727
l'm okay for money.
200
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:44,921
Give me $50 and l'll go in with you.
201
00:13:47,568 --> 00:13:48,762
Me and you.
202
00:13:48,969 --> 00:13:51,028
-l don't like it here.
-Wait a minute.
203
00:13:51,238 --> 00:13:53,263
-Did they only give you $50?
-No, they--
204
00:13:53,474 --> 00:13:55,601
Hi. How are you doing?
205
00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:00,308
George!
206
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:05,815
Damn you! You see what you did
to my friend, you big, green fuck?
207
00:14:16,597 --> 00:14:18,690
-My cigar!
-l'm so sorry.
208
00:14:18,899 --> 00:14:20,628
You killed my cigar.
209
00:14:22,102 --> 00:14:24,570
-Let me help you.
-You broke my cigar!
210
00:14:24,838 --> 00:14:27,329
lt's my fault.
l shouldn't have been running.
211
00:14:27,541 --> 00:14:29,668
Abe, it's you!
212
00:14:30,444 --> 00:14:31,376
l'm not Abe.
213
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,981
What do you do, disappear,
then come back to kill me, Abe?
214
00:14:36,183 --> 00:14:37,946
You're mistaking me for someone else.
215
00:14:38,152 --> 00:14:40,814
You mean, because of the hat.
l'm not Abe.
216
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:44,548
You're not Abe Fielding?
What is this, a joke?
217
00:14:44,758 --> 00:14:48,524
l'm not joking at all.
l think maybe you had a bad fall.
218
00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:53,693
Shit!
219
00:14:54,368 --> 00:14:56,666
You know,
a lot of people would say...
220
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:59,498
...it's rude
to bet thousands of dollars...
221
00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:01,435
...then skip town without a trace.
222
00:15:01,642 --> 00:15:03,007
You're making a mistake.
223
00:15:04,545 --> 00:15:05,603
l got some of it.
224
00:15:05,879 --> 00:15:06,743
What is that?
225
00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,380
-Payoff of the bet.
-What bet?
226
00:15:08,582 --> 00:15:10,550
You won the bet. Dallas won.
227
00:15:10,751 --> 00:15:13,686
l'm not Abe.
You think Abe won a bet from you.
228
00:15:13,887 --> 00:15:17,288
-l'm in the clergy.
-Really? What church?
229
00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:20,522
You want to give it
to someone named Abe. l'm not Abe.
230
00:15:20,727 --> 00:15:21,955
Holy shit!
231
00:15:22,663 --> 00:15:23,755
That's what l thought.
232
00:15:23,964 --> 00:15:25,329
You think it's me, but--
233
00:15:25,532 --> 00:15:27,727
l can't take that money.
234
00:15:27,935 --> 00:15:29,061
Abe!
235
00:15:29,269 --> 00:15:31,965
This is my best friend, Eddie.
He'll tell you.
236
00:15:32,172 --> 00:15:33,935
You want to know about Abe?
237
00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:37,905
You ask me, because
Abe and l are best friends.
238
00:15:38,779 --> 00:15:41,748
Not Abe Fielding.
Big joke on me, right?
239
00:15:41,949 --> 00:15:44,509
8:00, Shorefront Cafe.
l'll have your money.
240
00:15:44,718 --> 00:15:45,980
Abe will be there.
241
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:49,314
He's making a terrible mistake.
He might have a concussion.
242
00:15:49,523 --> 00:15:51,889
l hope he has it tonight.
243
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,099
l don't want to do this.
244
00:16:08,308 --> 00:16:10,572
Look, the guy wants
to give you money.
245
00:16:10,777 --> 00:16:12,677
No, he wants to give
Abe Fielding money.
246
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,077
l'm doing all this for you.
What are you doing for me?
247
00:16:16,283 --> 00:16:18,911
But you want me to lie,
the worst thing l could do.
248
00:16:19,119 --> 00:16:22,418
What good is telling the truth
if you got nothing to say?
249
00:16:22,623 --> 00:16:25,148
-l have things to say.
-Yeah, about basil.
250
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,725
l know l'm not the most
dynamic person.
251
00:16:27,928 --> 00:16:30,419
My ass is more dynamic, okay?
252
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,091
You just be quiet.
Let me do all the talking.
253
00:16:36,303 --> 00:16:39,761
-That way, you ain't lying.
-l'd feel more comfortable like that.
254
00:16:42,509 --> 00:16:43,999
Monsieur Fielding!
255
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,872
How good it is to see you!
256
00:16:46,079 --> 00:16:47,273
lt has been too long.
257
00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:49,278
lt's been too long.
Since he's eaten!
258
00:16:49,483 --> 00:16:50,814
l'll move some people.
259
00:16:51,618 --> 00:16:53,483
You a twin or something?
260
00:16:54,454 --> 00:16:56,217
How nice to see you again!
261
00:16:56,590 --> 00:16:58,319
May l take your hat?
262
00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:03,324
How nice!
263
00:17:04,531 --> 00:17:06,795
Mr. Fielding! Long time no see.
264
00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:10,632
You can at least say hello.
265
00:17:11,471 --> 00:17:14,235
-l don't want to lie, Eddie.
-''Hello'' is not a lie.
266
00:17:14,441 --> 00:17:16,636
You don't want to be around
when l lie.
267
00:17:16,843 --> 00:17:21,507
All hell breaks loose.
Believe me, l become another person.
268
00:17:21,715 --> 00:17:24,741
When l start to lie,
even l don't know who l am.
269
00:17:24,952 --> 00:17:28,649
Monsieur Fielding,
how are you this evening?
270
00:17:30,123 --> 00:17:33,115
Well, if l were Mr. Fielding...
271
00:17:33,327 --> 00:17:35,989
...l guess you could say l was fine.
272
00:17:38,031 --> 00:17:39,498
This way, sir.
273
00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:41,791
May l bring the usual?
274
00:17:42,002 --> 00:17:45,199
Two usuals.
You know, we're expecting a friend.
275
00:17:45,405 --> 00:17:49,273
A little old fat guy, kind of ugly.
He owes us a lot of money.
276
00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:51,273
l think he's at the bar.
277
00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,341
Thank you.
278
00:17:59,686 --> 00:18:02,348
Eddie, we have to get out of here.
This is crazy.
279
00:18:02,556 --> 00:18:05,320
You think l'm doing this for me?
Don't make me laugh.
280
00:18:05,525 --> 00:18:09,086
l'm doing it for Mom.
You know, my mother.
281
00:18:09,296 --> 00:18:11,287
Wish l had a picture to show you.
282
00:18:11,498 --> 00:18:13,728
She's got what they call
a heart thing.
283
00:18:13,934 --> 00:18:16,596
The doctors, they call it
a bum heart.
284
00:18:16,803 --> 00:18:20,364
l was going to use the money
that we get to get it fixed.
285
00:18:20,574 --> 00:18:23,042
l'm sorry to hear that.
l'd like to help you.
286
00:18:23,243 --> 00:18:26,474
But you know, Eddie,
l told you l mustn't lie.
287
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,548
Okay, forget l asked you.
Just forget it!
288
00:18:30,751 --> 00:18:33,413
You can send her flowers
when she's in the hospital.
289
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,884
Nice note saying, ''Die, bitch.''
290
00:18:36,723 --> 00:18:40,625
Abe, how are you? l didn't know
you were bringing a friend.
291
00:18:40,827 --> 00:18:42,226
l'm Al Sandrow.
292
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:44,958
So...
293
00:18:45,732 --> 00:18:47,927
...not that it's any
of my business, Abe...
294
00:18:48,135 --> 00:18:51,104
...where's a guy like you
disappear to for 5 months?
295
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,831
That's kind of a long story, Al.
296
00:18:54,041 --> 00:18:55,565
l'm asking Abe.
297
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,643
Something wrong, Abe?
298
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,450
He's worried about my mother.
Mama's at death's door.
299
00:19:04,651 --> 00:19:08,417
Listen, shithead,
nobody's talking to you, okay?
300
00:19:08,955 --> 00:19:10,445
Eddie, Eddie.
301
00:19:10,657 --> 00:19:12,181
l was just trying to tell you--
302
00:19:12,392 --> 00:19:14,986
Don't tell me nothing.
l'm asking Abe!
303
00:19:15,862 --> 00:19:17,693
l don't like this.
lt's not polite.
304
00:19:18,198 --> 00:19:21,133
Maybe he can't talk about it,
but l can.
305
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,325
Butt out, shithead!
l'm talking to--
306
00:19:23,670 --> 00:19:26,332
l don't like it
when you call my friend a shithead.
307
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:30,442
lf you do it one more time,
l'll cut your fucking balls off!
308
00:19:30,744 --> 00:19:32,336
Which l'm very good at.
309
00:19:32,746 --> 00:19:35,271
-Okay?
-Yeah, sure, Abe.
310
00:19:35,482 --> 00:19:36,847
Say ''okay.''
311
00:19:46,693 --> 00:19:50,993
-You trying to tell me something?
-No, no! Okay, Abe.
312
00:19:51,965 --> 00:19:53,523
l don't want to be unreasonable.
313
00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:56,999
l know you came to give us
thousands of dollars--
314
00:19:57,204 --> 00:19:58,728
Listen to me.
315
00:20:00,540 --> 00:20:01,768
But!
316
00:20:02,175 --> 00:20:05,770
Don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
317
00:20:07,447 --> 00:20:08,744
Now you can talk!
318
00:20:08,949 --> 00:20:10,576
Shithead's okay.
319
00:20:10,784 --> 00:20:13,981
Do you have any idea
what this man has done for me?
320
00:20:16,189 --> 00:20:17,816
lt was nothing.
321
00:20:18,024 --> 00:20:21,016
Pulling me out of
that explosion was nothing?
322
00:20:21,228 --> 00:20:22,058
What explosion?
323
00:20:22,262 --> 00:20:24,662
ln the lift at Lady Tushingham's.
324
00:20:24,865 --> 00:20:27,197
Look at him.
Look what it did to his brain.
325
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,561
Did you see that? Look at this.
326
00:20:29,903 --> 00:20:32,428
Hello? Anybody home?
327
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:38,009
Don't worry, he's got
a titanium plate in there.
328
00:20:38,211 --> 00:20:40,771
When l hit him in the head,
it actually feels good.
329
00:20:40,981 --> 00:20:42,073
What the fuck?
330
00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:48,482
Just don't call my friend
a shithead again, okay?
331
00:20:49,055 --> 00:20:51,353
-Okay with you, Al?
-Okay with Al.
332
00:20:52,192 --> 00:20:55,650
Maybe l had you pegged wrong,
but don't ever call him....
333
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,900
l'm sorry. l didn't know.
334
00:21:02,102 --> 00:21:04,093
So what happened in the lift?
335
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,134
What's a lift?
336
00:21:05,338 --> 00:21:06,703
What happened in the lift?
337
00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:10,666
Lady Tushingham, you mean?
l'm glad you asked.
338
00:21:10,877 --> 00:21:13,710
This is a wonderful story, Al.
339
00:21:15,148 --> 00:21:16,877
l can't wait to tell you.
340
00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:19,916
There we were, Eddie and me,
in England, mind you...
341
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:21,985
...at this swellegant party--
342
00:21:22,189 --> 00:21:25,090
--lords, ladies, everything--
343
00:21:25,292 --> 00:21:27,157
--not far from Buckingham Palace.
344
00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:30,763
And Lady Tushingham
walks up to me, and she says:
345
00:21:32,265 --> 00:21:34,790
''l challenge you to pull this finger.''
346
00:21:39,072 --> 00:21:39,970
''l challenge you...
347
00:21:40,740 --> 00:21:42,230
...to pull this finger.''
348
00:21:42,442 --> 00:21:43,636
You say it.
349
00:21:45,111 --> 00:21:47,773
''l challenge you to pull this finger.''
350
00:21:50,317 --> 00:21:52,012
You're going to love this.
351
00:21:55,422 --> 00:21:56,787
What are you going to do?
352
00:21:56,990 --> 00:21:59,515
What do you figure?
What could happen, right?
353
00:21:59,726 --> 00:22:01,455
So l pull her finger.
354
00:22:02,128 --> 00:22:03,686
She cuts one.
355
00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:10,969
A rocket to Mars doesn't have
this kind of thrust.
356
00:22:11,238 --> 00:22:12,671
And her husband...
357
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,034
...was lighting his cigar
next to her.
358
00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:17,471
The place went crazy!
359
00:22:17,677 --> 00:22:19,611
They weren't calling you
shithead then.
360
00:22:19,813 --> 00:22:20,643
Them?
361
00:22:20,847 --> 00:22:24,283
They probably were.
lf you want to call me shithead...
362
00:22:24,484 --> 00:22:27,510
...and give me some money and say,
''Abe won this.
363
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,985
Here, shithead.''
You know, l'd say...
364
00:22:30,190 --> 00:22:31,214
...''Thank you, Al.''
365
00:22:34,361 --> 00:22:35,726
Where the hell have you been?
366
00:22:35,929 --> 00:22:37,794
Where have l been?
Where have you been?
367
00:22:37,998 --> 00:22:38,828
That's the question.
368
00:22:39,032 --> 00:22:40,659
Honey, Abe!
369
00:22:41,134 --> 00:22:43,227
Oh, my God!
370
00:22:43,503 --> 00:22:47,098
Hey, get your ass over here.
Give me a wet one!
371
00:22:51,211 --> 00:22:53,475
This is Fred and Ethel Mertz.
372
00:22:54,381 --> 00:22:56,110
Sit down.
Get a load off.
373
00:22:56,316 --> 00:22:59,285
Bartender, some drinks
over here for my friends.
374
00:22:59,486 --> 00:23:02,785
-Were you expecting somebody else?
-We were expecting you.
375
00:23:02,989 --> 00:23:06,982
He wanted to start. l said,
''We're waiting till you guys arrive.''
376
00:23:07,193 --> 00:23:10,856
So, what did we hear?
That you were in South America?
377
00:23:11,064 --> 00:23:12,361
El Salvador.
378
00:23:12,866 --> 00:23:15,391
My God, what were you doing there?
379
00:23:15,602 --> 00:23:17,900
Dropping live oxen from 30,000 feet...
380
00:23:18,104 --> 00:23:19,901
...on the guerrilla forces.
381
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,271
Live oxen?
382
00:23:23,176 --> 00:23:24,234
Why live oxen?
383
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:27,436
Because it hurts like hell
when they land on you!
384
00:23:29,215 --> 00:23:30,773
He was just kidding about...
385
00:23:30,984 --> 00:23:33,976
...dropping oxen from 30,000 feet
out of the plane.
386
00:23:34,187 --> 00:23:35,347
Oh, sure.
387
00:23:35,622 --> 00:23:39,114
As if you weren't with me in the
cockpit when the missile went through.
388
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,020
l forgot.
389
00:23:43,229 --> 00:23:44,287
lt slipped my mind.
390
00:23:44,497 --> 00:23:47,125
l can never tell when you're serious.
391
00:23:53,974 --> 00:23:54,872
l'm in a plane...
392
00:23:55,075 --> 00:23:56,940
...with a dead pilot...
393
00:23:57,143 --> 00:24:00,476
...and the cockpit thermometer
says 30,000 feet...
394
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,614
...and you think l'm making jokes?
395
00:24:05,118 --> 00:24:06,278
What's the matter with him?
396
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:07,976
ls he pulling my leg?
397
00:24:21,701 --> 00:24:23,999
So what happened to
Lady Tushingham?
398
00:24:25,071 --> 00:24:26,936
Will you fuck Lady Tushingham?!
399
00:24:27,140 --> 00:24:29,973
What's the matter with you?
l'm telling you the real stuff!
400
00:24:30,176 --> 00:24:32,838
40,000 feet. A terrorist
burst through the door...
401
00:24:33,046 --> 00:24:35,344
...put the gun to my head
and he says....
402
00:24:41,287 --> 00:24:42,618
How'd you like that, Al?
403
00:24:43,556 --> 00:24:44,682
Holy shit!
404
00:24:44,891 --> 00:24:47,485
Do you understand what l'm saying?!
405
00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:51,352
Jesus!
406
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:30,695
What was l to do?
Then they tore out their knives.
407
00:25:30,904 --> 00:25:31,836
And started swearing--
408
00:25:32,038 --> 00:25:33,733
We don't know what
they're saying.
409
00:25:33,940 --> 00:25:35,840
And Eddie says, ''Talk English.''
410
00:25:36,042 --> 00:25:38,476
Good thing we didn't
know the language.
411
00:25:38,678 --> 00:25:40,805
''You don't talk English,
we're going home.''
412
00:25:43,783 --> 00:25:46,274
That really is an amazing story.
413
00:25:46,986 --> 00:25:51,514
We talked about the money
that Al owed Abe.
414
00:25:51,724 --> 00:25:54,784
You know what l mean?
Didn't we talk about that?
415
00:25:54,994 --> 00:25:57,724
We were talking about
all the money...
416
00:25:57,931 --> 00:26:01,890
...that maybe Abe won gambling
from this fat man.
417
00:26:02,102 --> 00:26:06,061
l'm not the fat man
like you're not the shithead, okay?
418
00:26:06,272 --> 00:26:09,002
l'm not trying to offend,
but l'm not a shithead.
419
00:26:09,209 --> 00:26:10,836
But you're definitely pudgy.
What?
420
00:26:11,044 --> 00:26:13,171
Al's a little sensitive
about his tummy.
421
00:26:13,379 --> 00:26:15,939
lt's been 20 years since he had a tum--
422
00:26:16,149 --> 00:26:17,377
Oh, my God!
423
00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:29,527
lt's ruined.
424
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,793
Abe, it's your wife.
425
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,058
My what?
426
00:26:35,268 --> 00:26:36,360
You're right.
427
00:26:36,769 --> 00:26:38,031
lt's Elaine!
428
00:26:38,805 --> 00:26:40,272
Eddie, l'm married.
429
00:26:40,473 --> 00:26:41,599
Congratulations.
430
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:43,503
What am l going to do?
431
00:26:44,077 --> 00:26:45,476
You son of a bitch!
432
00:26:48,281 --> 00:26:49,111
Hello, darling.
433
00:26:49,849 --> 00:26:51,612
You are not my husband.
434
00:26:52,452 --> 00:26:53,885
l think l could explain--
435
00:26:54,087 --> 00:26:57,523
You are an inconsiderate child.
436
00:26:58,024 --> 00:27:00,891
You are an insect.
You are a piece of dust.
437
00:27:01,094 --> 00:27:04,586
How dare you humiliate me this way
in front of our friends.
438
00:27:05,331 --> 00:27:09,097
l'm very disappointed in you, Gail.
You could've told me he was back.
439
00:27:09,369 --> 00:27:11,269
l didn't even know he was gone.
440
00:27:11,471 --> 00:27:13,462
Oh, like hell you didn't.
441
00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:15,607
What have you got to say for yourself?
442
00:27:15,808 --> 00:27:17,105
l missed you, dear.
443
00:27:17,377 --> 00:27:18,969
-Come on.
-Where are we going?
444
00:27:19,179 --> 00:27:20,840
You've got some explaining to do.
445
00:27:21,047 --> 00:27:22,378
The money!
446
00:27:34,194 --> 00:27:36,492
You're the most beautiful woman
l've ever seen.
447
00:27:36,696 --> 00:27:40,325
l can't think of a single reason
for us to stay together.
448
00:27:40,533 --> 00:27:44,833
l can think of one darn good reason.
How about the kids?
449
00:27:45,038 --> 00:27:48,838
ls it fair to them to make them
the innocent victims of this?
450
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:50,270
What kids?
451
00:27:50,476 --> 00:27:51,966
We don't have kids?
452
00:27:53,112 --> 00:27:54,010
Bear with me.
453
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:57,377
l'm a little--
l had a cocktail at the restaurant.
454
00:27:57,584 --> 00:27:57,650
You are really starting
to drive me crazy.
455
00:27:57,650 --> 00:28:00,380
You are really starting
to drive me crazy.
456
00:28:00,587 --> 00:28:04,023
Honestly, l think you've made
an awfully big mistake.
457
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:06,385
The big mistake was marrying you.
458
00:28:06,593 --> 00:28:09,619
l mean a mistake that
you think l'm someone else...
459
00:28:09,829 --> 00:28:11,194
...than who l really am.
460
00:28:11,397 --> 00:28:16,061
What you are is a lying bastard.
Get your hand off my knee.
461
00:28:16,569 --> 00:28:18,434
l don't think l lie
that much anymore.
462
00:28:18,638 --> 00:28:21,539
l lied a bit tonight,
but l was under a lot of pressure.
463
00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:24,335
Considering that this was
my first night out.
464
00:28:24,544 --> 00:28:28,537
Otherwise, l think l've made
a lot of progress. l really do.
465
00:28:28,982 --> 00:28:31,007
Just what did you catch this time?
466
00:28:31,217 --> 00:28:33,048
l didn't catch anything.
467
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:36,916
You went fishing for 5 months
and you didn't catch anything?
468
00:28:37,123 --> 00:28:38,750
l guess l used the wrong bait.
469
00:28:38,958 --> 00:28:43,019
Used the wrong bait? Will you please
not insult my intelligence?
470
00:28:43,229 --> 00:28:46,721
l happen to know you were with
Angela Davenport the entire time.
471
00:28:46,933 --> 00:28:49,026
Will you close the door, please?
472
00:28:52,572 --> 00:28:53,869
And don't deny it.
473
00:28:54,073 --> 00:28:57,474
Don't even try, because l got it
right from the horse's mouth.
474
00:28:57,677 --> 00:29:01,408
-You mean Angela told you?
-No, Angela's husband told me.
475
00:29:01,614 --> 00:29:03,081
Oh, gee.
476
00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:06,719
What on earth have you got
in that foolish-looking little bag?
477
00:29:06,919 --> 00:29:08,682
My raincoat and rubbers.
478
00:29:10,556 --> 00:29:12,387
He also told me
when he found you...
479
00:29:12,592 --> 00:29:16,153
...he would cut you up
into infinitesimally small pieces.
480
00:29:16,362 --> 00:29:18,557
Too bad he was bluffing.
481
00:29:22,468 --> 00:29:23,833
l've been murdered.
482
00:29:28,808 --> 00:29:30,673
Oh, my God.
483
00:29:35,148 --> 00:29:36,547
Oh, little doggie.
484
00:29:36,749 --> 00:29:37,579
Cute little doggie.
485
00:29:39,786 --> 00:29:40,946
Nice doggie.
486
00:29:42,955 --> 00:29:44,047
Yes, sit.
487
00:29:47,393 --> 00:29:48,621
Be a good boy.
488
00:29:50,997 --> 00:29:51,827
Nice doggie.
489
00:30:06,112 --> 00:30:07,807
Sit! Be a good doggie.
490
00:30:09,582 --> 00:30:11,846
l think something terrible
may have happened.
491
00:30:14,387 --> 00:30:15,411
What?
492
00:30:16,055 --> 00:30:17,613
l have to--
l have to--
493
00:30:25,565 --> 00:30:27,726
l'm honor breast,
to tell you the tittie hooth.
494
00:30:27,934 --> 00:30:30,698
Angela didn't forewarn you
about her implants...
495
00:30:30,903 --> 00:30:31,767
...did she?
496
00:30:32,572 --> 00:30:33,971
Honest truth.
497
00:30:34,173 --> 00:30:38,405
Did you find out in bed?
Or did they rattle when you danced?
498
00:30:40,113 --> 00:30:44,379
You know, it's very difficult for me
to be honest with you...
499
00:30:44,584 --> 00:30:46,211
...at a time like this.
500
00:30:49,055 --> 00:30:50,352
Give it a whirl, Abe.
501
00:30:53,659 --> 00:30:55,456
l like, l want to....
502
00:30:56,929 --> 00:30:58,294
Want to say something to me?
503
00:30:58,498 --> 00:31:02,298
Yes. l want to be completely
honest and get this off your chest.
504
00:31:02,502 --> 00:31:04,060
l mean, get this on your breast.
505
00:31:04,270 --> 00:31:05,737
l mean, my breast.
506
00:31:05,938 --> 00:31:08,964
-Get this off my chest.
-Well, give it a try.
507
00:31:09,175 --> 00:31:12,542
Give it your best shot.
The truth, Abe. Let's hear it.
508
00:31:15,281 --> 00:31:19,012
l am not your husband.
l am a Volvo salesman.
509
00:31:26,526 --> 00:31:31,463
You are really beginning to fray
the edges of my patience.
510
00:31:42,809 --> 00:31:44,902
l've never been to Yosemite.
511
00:32:13,005 --> 00:32:14,199
Oh, man.
512
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,337
l'm landing in tall cotton.
Hey, baby!
513
00:32:18,544 --> 00:32:21,069
Holy shit, this is great!
514
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:24,272
They don't have this much acreage
in the projects.
515
00:32:41,968 --> 00:32:43,401
Oh, man!
516
00:32:43,936 --> 00:32:45,528
Are you kidding me?
517
00:32:47,139 --> 00:32:48,936
Holy shit!
518
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:52,102
Kiss my ass!
519
00:33:02,154 --> 00:33:03,587
Coochie-coochie?
520
00:33:05,658 --> 00:33:07,057
Come here, little puppy.
521
00:33:08,294 --> 00:33:09,989
Come here.
Suck your dick?
522
00:33:14,433 --> 00:33:16,663
ls this 1 1 45 Stone Ranch?
523
00:33:16,869 --> 00:33:18,393
Got some candy for you.
524
00:33:19,005 --> 00:33:21,098
Goddamn it, you bit my--
525
00:33:21,307 --> 00:33:22,365
Nice baby.
526
00:33:22,575 --> 00:33:24,042
Good fellow.
527
00:33:31,851 --> 00:33:33,216
Holy shit!
528
00:33:43,362 --> 00:33:45,125
How you doing, Abe?
529
00:33:45,531 --> 00:33:47,192
What, you eating breakfast?
530
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:49,365
Hey, another chair?
531
00:33:50,136 --> 00:33:51,330
This yours?
532
00:33:54,941 --> 00:33:56,374
You don't need this.
533
00:34:22,034 --> 00:34:24,764
-l knew you'd find me.
-Don't touch me, Abe.
534
00:34:24,971 --> 00:34:28,668
-Just a little, let me hold your hand.
-Don't touch me!
535
00:34:28,874 --> 00:34:29,704
How did you find me?
536
00:34:29,909 --> 00:34:32,469
You're in the phone book
under Abe Fielding.
537
00:34:32,678 --> 00:34:33,838
That was smart!
538
00:34:35,014 --> 00:34:38,074
-Can l call you Abe?
-You know my name is George.
539
00:34:38,484 --> 00:34:40,816
George, right.
Your name is George.
540
00:34:42,054 --> 00:34:43,885
Yo, Abe.
l mean, George.
541
00:34:44,490 --> 00:34:46,651
-How many acres we got here?
-None.
542
00:34:46,859 --> 00:34:48,986
None? lt looks like
more than that to me.
543
00:34:49,195 --> 00:34:52,392
That's because you think
l'm Abe Fielding, but l'm not.
544
00:34:52,598 --> 00:34:54,429
l don't even know Abe Fielding.
545
00:34:54,634 --> 00:34:58,934
But l think he was cut up into pieces
by somebody's jealous husband.
546
00:34:59,138 --> 00:35:00,696
What the hell you talking about?
547
00:35:00,906 --> 00:35:04,171
You don't believe me.
l'm not Abe Fielding.
548
00:35:04,377 --> 00:35:06,345
You're at the Pearly Gates.
Don't choose hell.
549
00:35:06,545 --> 00:35:07,671
What will you say?
550
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:11,646
That l don't have a place to stay
and l'm staying with you for a while.
551
00:35:11,851 --> 00:35:13,216
Maybe you'll ask her for me.
552
00:35:13,686 --> 00:35:14,778
Hello, dear.
553
00:35:15,187 --> 00:35:17,587
Mrs. Honeybun.
554
00:35:19,325 --> 00:35:22,089
Eddie wants to know if he can
live with us for a while.
555
00:35:22,294 --> 00:35:24,524
You know, just for a little while.
556
00:35:24,730 --> 00:35:27,722
Till my mom gets better.
Couple years, tops.
557
00:35:32,338 --> 00:35:33,703
No? What do you mean, no?
558
00:35:33,906 --> 00:35:35,134
Come on, Peaches.
559
00:35:35,975 --> 00:35:36,964
Peaches?
560
00:35:37,476 --> 00:35:39,876
Abe has something to say.
Just hear him out.
561
00:35:40,546 --> 00:35:41,444
All right.
562
00:35:42,715 --> 00:35:43,545
What is it?
563
00:35:50,956 --> 00:35:52,617
Eddie isn't who you think he is.
564
00:35:53,993 --> 00:35:54,925
Who is he?
565
00:35:55,961 --> 00:35:59,761
Did you ever hear of a prizefighter
by the name of Joe Frazier?
566
00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:02,828
You mean the ''Thriller from Manila''?
567
00:36:03,469 --> 00:36:04,299
That's it.
568
00:36:04,503 --> 00:36:05,629
The Thriller from Manila!
569
00:36:07,339 --> 00:36:11,571
Right after that fight with Ali in the
Philippines, Joe Frazier got malaria.
570
00:36:12,211 --> 00:36:14,406
And he lost a lot of weight.
571
00:36:16,482 --> 00:36:20,350
l mean, a lot of weight.
He even shrunk a little bit.
572
00:36:22,188 --> 00:36:24,122
Even after they got it under control...
573
00:36:24,323 --> 00:36:27,190
...he thought if anyone
ever saw him like that...
574
00:36:27,393 --> 00:36:29,793
...his career as a prizefighter
would be over.
575
00:36:29,995 --> 00:36:32,691
No one would ever give him
a shot at the title.
576
00:36:33,766 --> 00:36:37,395
He decided he'd better change
his name and his identity...
577
00:36:37,603 --> 00:36:40,902
...till he could sort of
work his way back into shape.
578
00:36:41,107 --> 00:36:43,575
lt's been a rough road back,
right, champ?
579
00:36:43,776 --> 00:36:45,004
l'm not complaining.
580
00:36:45,211 --> 00:36:47,805
l just want another crack
at the title.
581
00:36:48,013 --> 00:36:50,004
Save them.
Save them, pal.
582
00:36:50,216 --> 00:36:52,241
l'll help you, Joe.
l mean...
583
00:36:52,451 --> 00:36:53,383
...Eddie.
584
00:36:53,586 --> 00:36:55,952
Sorry, champ.
l won't slip again.
585
00:36:57,823 --> 00:36:59,347
You know, Elaine...
586
00:36:59,558 --> 00:37:03,654
...he's the best friend l got.
He just needs a place where he can...
587
00:37:03,863 --> 00:37:06,388
...lick his wounds for a while...
588
00:37:07,733 --> 00:37:11,931
...and put about maybe
50, 60 pounds back on.
589
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:22,979
That is an amazing story.
590
00:37:24,316 --> 00:37:28,184
l was very rude to you a minute ago.
l'm awfully sorry.
591
00:37:28,654 --> 00:37:30,815
l want you to stay.
Really. Please do.
592
00:37:31,023 --> 00:37:32,854
l feel so exposed.
593
00:37:33,058 --> 00:37:37,324
Please, let me see if l can get
the guest bedroom made up.
594
00:37:38,731 --> 00:37:39,925
l'll be right back.
595
00:37:44,870 --> 00:37:46,360
Shit, man!
596
00:37:49,074 --> 00:37:50,268
Before l met you...
597
00:37:50,476 --> 00:37:53,240
...the term ''bullshit artist''
was an empty phrase.
598
00:37:53,445 --> 00:37:56,778
But working with you
has made me a better liar.
599
00:37:57,183 --> 00:38:00,675
You're just describing everything
l don't want to be.
600
00:38:18,037 --> 00:38:20,938
This is a Rolex.
This is money.
601
00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:24,604
Full of rings! My God!
602
00:38:25,544 --> 00:38:28,377
What are you doing in here?
You said you were...
603
00:38:28,581 --> 00:38:31,379
...taking a walk.
l was looking all over for you.
604
00:38:31,584 --> 00:38:34,144
l was looking around in
some of Fielding's stuff.
605
00:38:34,353 --> 00:38:37,288
l was doing a little research,
you know what l mean?
606
00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:40,287
Like this pipe.
You put this pipe in your mouth...
607
00:38:40,492 --> 00:38:42,050
...and you'll feel like Fielding.
608
00:38:42,328 --> 00:38:44,489
And a dash of his cologne.
609
00:38:45,130 --> 00:38:46,062
Put on some of this.
610
00:38:46,265 --> 00:38:48,495
Smell like Abe.
Before you do the thing.
611
00:38:48,701 --> 00:38:50,032
Before l do what thing?
612
00:38:50,236 --> 00:38:52,329
The woman hasn't seen you
in five months.
613
00:38:52,538 --> 00:38:53,664
She's expecting something.
614
00:38:53,873 --> 00:38:56,171
You got to give her
what she expects.
615
00:38:56,375 --> 00:38:58,206
A little padumph, padumph.
616
00:39:00,613 --> 00:39:02,774
l can't do ''padumph.''
617
00:39:03,415 --> 00:39:06,475
-That would be under false pretenses.
-What false pretenses?
618
00:39:06,685 --> 00:39:09,415
She thinks you're her husband.
She'll turn the TV on.
619
00:39:17,429 --> 00:39:19,294
What are you going to say to her?
620
00:39:19,498 --> 00:39:23,298
Well, l'll say, ''Oh, gosh, Elaine.
621
00:39:23,636 --> 00:39:25,968
-You look lovely tonight.''
-Hold it.
622
00:39:26,171 --> 00:39:29,868
That's what Boy Scouts say
on a trip, trying to sell cookies.
623
00:39:30,075 --> 00:39:32,873
-l'm not going to be crude.
-Nobody's talking crude.
624
00:39:33,078 --> 00:39:35,569
l'm talking you be suave, debonair.
625
00:39:35,981 --> 00:39:37,414
You got to be Cary Grant.
626
00:39:37,616 --> 00:39:38,583
Cary Grant?
627
00:39:38,784 --> 00:39:42,777
What, Cary Grant, on a date, he wants
to do his thing and he says to her....
628
00:39:43,422 --> 00:39:45,117
No, no. l hope not.
629
00:39:45,324 --> 00:39:47,087
No! Cary Grant's smooth, debonair.
630
00:39:47,293 --> 00:39:50,160
He says something like,
''Judy, Judy, Judy...
631
00:39:50,362 --> 00:39:52,023
...you want to padumph, padumph?''
632
00:39:52,231 --> 00:39:53,926
That's what he would say?
633
00:39:54,133 --> 00:39:56,397
Either that or,
''You want to fuck?''
634
00:39:59,905 --> 00:40:01,497
-This is your night.
-l can't do it.
635
00:40:01,707 --> 00:40:03,402
Let's see.
636
00:40:03,609 --> 00:40:06,043
-l'm nervous.
-This woman has a thing for you.
637
00:40:06,245 --> 00:40:07,872
l saw it in her eyes.
638
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,071
Put some of this on.
There you go.
639
00:40:10,316 --> 00:40:12,011
Not bad, is it?
640
00:40:12,518 --> 00:40:13,507
Look.
641
00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:17,815
You go in there
and you think ''Cary Grant.''
642
00:40:18,157 --> 00:40:20,250
-Come on.
-Judy, Judy.
643
00:40:25,998 --> 00:40:29,229
Man couldn't get laid in
a woman's prison with a pound of pot.
644
00:40:29,435 --> 00:40:32,666
AII right, girIs.
Now, this is your Iast chance.
645
00:40:32,871 --> 00:40:35,669
If one piece of candy
gets past you...
646
00:40:35,874 --> 00:40:39,332
...and into the packing room
unwrapped, you're fired!
647
00:40:39,878 --> 00:40:42,346
-Let her roII!
-What are you doing?
648
00:40:42,581 --> 00:40:44,845
Judy, Judy.
649
00:40:45,117 --> 00:40:48,109
Could l interest you
in a little padumph, padumph?
650
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:50,288
Who are you talking to?
651
00:40:52,591 --> 00:40:53,853
You.
652
00:40:54,593 --> 00:40:57,585
l want to know if you'd like
to have a little padumph.
653
00:41:00,599 --> 00:41:04,194
Elaine, do you know how long
it's been since l've done the thing?
654
00:41:04,403 --> 00:41:05,631
Are you for real?
655
00:41:06,739 --> 00:41:07,763
You--
656
00:41:11,677 --> 00:41:13,372
Who could that be?
657
00:41:14,713 --> 00:41:17,409
Look, Abe, there's a car
coming up the driveway.
658
00:41:17,616 --> 00:41:21,245
l don't know who else but you'd
come barreling up at this hour.
659
00:41:21,754 --> 00:41:24,188
My God. lt must be Abe.
660
00:41:24,390 --> 00:41:26,790
Will you please not do that anymore?
661
00:41:26,992 --> 00:41:29,426
l'm sorry.
l mean it must be me.
662
00:41:35,567 --> 00:41:38,866
Would you go see who it is?
l'll be down in a minute.
663
00:41:53,552 --> 00:41:55,452
There's someone at the front door.
664
00:41:55,654 --> 00:41:56,746
So?
665
00:41:57,623 --> 00:41:59,488
l'd like you to come with me.
666
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,618
What's this stuff?
667
00:42:02,828 --> 00:42:05,160
This is stuff that
l'm taking to get cleaned.
668
00:42:05,364 --> 00:42:08,265
Yeah, looks pretty dirty.
669
00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:24,180
l'd like you to answer it.
Would you?
670
00:42:24,383 --> 00:42:26,112
Hey, you're the maestro.
671
00:42:34,393 --> 00:42:35,223
Well!
672
00:42:35,461 --> 00:42:38,225
lf it ain't Mr. ''Finger on the Bell.''
673
00:42:38,430 --> 00:42:41,422
How dare you!
Open this door. Open it!
674
00:42:42,367 --> 00:42:43,857
Just who the hell are you?
675
00:42:44,069 --> 00:42:46,902
l demand to know, and l mean now,
mister. Right now!
676
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:48,300
Who the hell are you?
677
00:42:49,341 --> 00:42:50,831
Elaine, you all right?
678
00:42:51,043 --> 00:42:55,036
l'm Abe Fielding's
best friend, asshole.
679
00:42:55,247 --> 00:42:58,444
You think you can come in
and talk to me like l'm shit?
680
00:42:58,650 --> 00:43:01,778
You wouldn't know Abe Fielding
if you were talking to him.
681
00:43:01,987 --> 00:43:03,079
Wait a minute. You Abe Fielding?
682
00:43:03,288 --> 00:43:04,755
No, l'm not. Elaine!
683
00:43:04,957 --> 00:43:08,859
My name is Rupert Dibbs.
l run Abe Fielding's business.
684
00:43:09,261 --> 00:43:10,193
Dibbsy!
685
00:43:10,762 --> 00:43:11,956
Abe?
686
00:43:12,397 --> 00:43:15,195
You old duffer! How's the boy?
687
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:16,526
My God, you're back!
688
00:43:16,735 --> 00:43:18,862
Long time no see, pal.
689
00:43:19,071 --> 00:43:21,835
l bet you thought
that was Fielding for a while.
690
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:23,507
lt's kind of dark in here.
691
00:43:23,709 --> 00:43:26,542
You know how l knew
it wasn't Abe Fielding?
692
00:43:26,745 --> 00:43:29,077
Because l'm Abe Fielding!
693
00:43:29,615 --> 00:43:30,707
Remember?
694
00:43:30,949 --> 00:43:33,281
-How you doing, you old duffer?
-Fine!
695
00:43:34,019 --> 00:43:35,111
Hey, Dibbsy.
696
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:36,344
-Give me a wet one.
-A what?
697
00:43:36,555 --> 00:43:37,852
Come on, come on!
698
00:43:40,926 --> 00:43:43,451
-Have you lost your mind?
-Look at that tie.
699
00:43:43,662 --> 00:43:45,425
Not even a phone call in 5 months.
700
00:43:45,631 --> 00:43:47,462
l'm not saying you didn't deserve--
701
00:43:47,866 --> 00:43:49,356
Everybody deserves a vacation.
702
00:43:49,568 --> 00:43:51,593
No lectures, no lectures.
703
00:43:52,271 --> 00:43:54,569
But how am l supposed to run
a business--
704
00:43:54,773 --> 00:43:57,071
-Brandy still your drink?
-l don't drink.
705
00:43:57,276 --> 00:43:59,005
Still can't get him to drink.
706
00:43:59,211 --> 00:44:01,236
-This is my best friend, Eddie.
-Elaine!
707
00:44:01,446 --> 00:44:02,913
-No, Eddie.
-Rupert.
708
00:44:03,115 --> 00:44:05,913
-What are you doing here?
-l have some papers...
709
00:44:06,118 --> 00:44:09,246
...that need power of attorney.
But you can sign them.
710
00:44:09,454 --> 00:44:11,081
l just need your signature.
711
00:44:11,290 --> 00:44:12,951
-You want my ''Fielding''?
-Sure.
712
00:44:13,158 --> 00:44:16,491
-You bet!
-l want it right there, and there.
713
00:44:16,929 --> 00:44:18,760
How are you fixed for cash?
714
00:44:19,598 --> 00:44:20,587
We're a little short.
715
00:44:21,567 --> 00:44:23,762
-We?
-We got some things to do downtown.
716
00:44:24,603 --> 00:44:26,161
l understand.
717
00:44:26,738 --> 00:44:29,605
There you go.
l think that should take care of it.
718
00:44:30,676 --> 00:44:34,442
Abe, why don't you tell him
about the credit cards you lost?
719
00:44:36,782 --> 00:44:39,615
-l don't know what l did with them.
-This should take care of that.
720
00:44:39,818 --> 00:44:41,615
Look at that!
Dibbsy to the rescue.
721
00:44:41,820 --> 00:44:43,788
Just like the old days.
What a guy!
722
00:44:44,189 --> 00:44:45,554
Looking in the pink.
723
00:44:45,757 --> 00:44:48,920
-That's my color, pal.
-You back for a while?
724
00:44:49,127 --> 00:44:51,459
You better ask the little lady
about that.
725
00:44:51,663 --> 00:44:53,858
Going to be sticking
around for a while.
726
00:44:54,066 --> 00:44:57,229
Credit cards. Money!
727
00:44:57,703 --> 00:44:59,136
Pussy!
728
00:44:59,471 --> 00:45:01,962
-You bet your boots.
-Elaine, you look great.
729
00:45:02,174 --> 00:45:03,698
l'll see you soon, Abe.
730
00:45:03,909 --> 00:45:06,002
-Welcome home.
-Nice to see you again.
731
00:45:06,878 --> 00:45:08,971
lt was a pleasure.
Maybe l'll see you again.
732
00:45:09,181 --> 00:45:11,445
You can bank on it.
733
00:45:14,620 --> 00:45:17,783
Who is that bum?
Why don't you get rid of him?
734
00:45:18,090 --> 00:45:21,025
You know, Dibbsy,
you're my business manager...
735
00:45:21,226 --> 00:45:24,059
...and l respect you for that...
736
00:45:24,263 --> 00:45:27,790
...but don't ever call my friend
a shithead again!
737
00:45:28,033 --> 00:45:29,364
l said no such thi--
738
00:45:30,469 --> 00:45:31,697
Okay?
739
00:45:35,874 --> 00:45:38,001
Okay, good night.
740
00:45:38,443 --> 00:45:39,740
See you soon.
741
00:45:41,346 --> 00:45:43,109
Hey, Dibbsy!
742
00:45:47,052 --> 00:45:51,079
-Ready to turn in, sweetheart?
-That was so rude!
743
00:45:51,356 --> 00:45:52,823
What do you mean?
744
00:45:53,025 --> 00:45:56,324
l can't believe you'd talk
to Rupert that way.
745
00:45:56,528 --> 00:46:00,259
-After everything he's done for you!
-l didn't mean to be rude.
746
00:46:00,465 --> 00:46:02,956
-l was just--
-Stop. Don't try and explain.
747
00:46:03,168 --> 00:46:06,001
l'm going to bed alone.
748
00:46:44,509 --> 00:46:45,567
What?
749
00:46:46,478 --> 00:46:48,446
Can l say just one thing to you?
750
00:46:48,647 --> 00:46:51,115
-What?
-Goodbye forever, dear.
751
00:46:56,421 --> 00:46:59,322
-Where are you going?
-l can't stay in this house.
752
00:46:59,524 --> 00:47:01,151
l mustn't be here alone with you.
753
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,351
What's the problem?
Eddie's coming back.
754
00:47:03,562 --> 00:47:04,586
-Look at me!
-l can't.
755
00:47:04,796 --> 00:47:07,026
lf l do, l'm a goner.
l'll never leave.
756
00:47:07,232 --> 00:47:09,723
You remind me of a girl
l was in love with.
757
00:47:09,935 --> 00:47:11,903
l thought l was in love
till l met you.
758
00:47:12,104 --> 00:47:14,436
l got her to love me by lying,
and l must not!
759
00:47:14,639 --> 00:47:17,540
-l mustn't do that again!
-Look at me!
760
00:47:17,743 --> 00:47:19,836
-Are you leaving me?
-l'm not Abe!
761
00:47:20,045 --> 00:47:22,036
l'm not married to you!
l'm George!
762
00:47:22,247 --> 00:47:24,511
l'm a Volvo salesman
for Horst Mueller!
763
00:47:25,050 --> 00:47:26,278
Look at me!
764
00:47:26,485 --> 00:47:27,577
-Taxi!
-Wait, wait.
765
00:47:28,353 --> 00:47:29,786
Just give me a kiss goodbye.
766
00:47:29,988 --> 00:47:32,286
-A kiss?
-One little kiss.
767
00:47:38,463 --> 00:47:39,452
Taxi!
768
00:47:44,436 --> 00:47:48,167
George, if what you say is true,
l find that admirable.
769
00:47:48,407 --> 00:47:49,931
You were honest with her.
770
00:47:50,142 --> 00:47:52,906
You left the woman you loved
rather than lie to her.
771
00:47:53,111 --> 00:47:54,476
How do you feel?
772
00:47:54,679 --> 00:47:55,839
Who took my red?
773
00:47:56,047 --> 00:47:57,207
l'm asking you--
774
00:47:57,416 --> 00:47:59,976
l'll answer you,
but who took my red?
775
00:48:04,589 --> 00:48:09,185
l can't believe l had the red at
the exact moment that you wanted it.
776
00:48:10,395 --> 00:48:11,453
l should be stripped...
777
00:48:11,663 --> 00:48:15,565
...and have scalding soup ladled
over my genitals by Dolly Parton.
778
00:48:15,767 --> 00:48:17,667
Philip, put a clam on it, will you?
779
00:48:17,869 --> 00:48:18,858
Sorry.
780
00:48:19,371 --> 00:48:22,807
George, how does it feel
to be an honest person?
781
00:48:23,442 --> 00:48:24,739
Where's my green?
782
00:48:24,943 --> 00:48:27,741
Did you pump up your mickey
before you showed it to her?
783
00:48:28,013 --> 00:48:28,980
Who has the green?
784
00:48:29,181 --> 00:48:33,515
Sometimes a patient's first day away
from the clinic can be stressful.
785
00:48:33,718 --> 00:48:36,152
ls it possible
there was no Mrs. Fielding?
786
00:48:36,354 --> 00:48:37,719
Wait a minute!
787
00:48:37,923 --> 00:48:41,689
Maybe he is Abe Fielding,
and he was lying to us about that too.
788
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:43,593
What do you think?
789
00:48:45,430 --> 00:48:46,863
Just a theory.
790
00:48:47,132 --> 00:48:49,532
Poor Mrs. Fielding.
791
00:48:49,734 --> 00:48:51,167
l bet she's crying her eyes out.
792
00:48:57,342 --> 00:48:59,173
That's enough. Stop it!
793
00:48:59,377 --> 00:49:03,643
l'm not saying that you don't have
some limited acting ability.
794
00:49:03,849 --> 00:49:08,479
Limited acting ability?
Listen, bud, these are real tears here.
795
00:49:08,687 --> 00:49:12,748
When l hired you, you told me
you were a professional actress.
796
00:49:12,958 --> 00:49:14,425
l am! Sort of.
797
00:49:14,626 --> 00:49:19,222
All right, l'm basically a vocalist,
but l am studying acting.
798
00:49:19,431 --> 00:49:23,060
l'm told by my teacher
that l'm remarkably naturalistic.
799
00:49:23,268 --> 00:49:26,760
That's not quite what you told me
two Abe Fieldings ago, is it?
800
00:49:26,972 --> 00:49:29,941
Excuse me, they both believed
l was Mrs. Abe Fielding.
801
00:49:30,141 --> 00:49:34,407
And let me also add this.
l think that my accent was impeccable.
802
00:49:34,613 --> 00:49:38,105
Despite your impeccable accent,
they both chose to leave.
803
00:49:38,316 --> 00:49:39,943
That's not my fault.
804
00:49:40,151 --> 00:49:43,814
You can't take any nut and
convince him he's Abe Fielding.
805
00:49:44,022 --> 00:49:45,421
That was not the job!
806
00:49:45,624 --> 00:49:48,354
l don't care if they think
they are Abe Fielding.
807
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:52,394
The job was simply to entice him.
808
00:49:52,597 --> 00:49:57,000
To make them want to be Abe Fielding.
But they're running from you.
809
00:49:57,202 --> 00:50:00,000
l will not be handled.
810
00:50:00,205 --> 00:50:02,833
l told you that when l took the job.
811
00:50:03,041 --> 00:50:06,101
And if that's changed,
l don't want the job anyway.
812
00:50:06,311 --> 00:50:07,608
Well, that is just fine!
813
00:50:07,812 --> 00:50:10,713
Give my regards to
the unemployment office...
814
00:50:10,916 --> 00:50:13,646
...Miss Mimi Kravitz,
''professional actress.''
815
00:50:13,852 --> 00:50:16,116
You'll be spending
a lot of time there.
816
00:50:18,990 --> 00:50:22,255
You've got an unerring instinct
for the jugular.
817
00:50:22,460 --> 00:50:24,553
l'd like that last Fielding back.
818
00:50:24,763 --> 00:50:26,492
The liar.
819
00:50:26,698 --> 00:50:28,165
The liar is perfect.
820
00:50:28,366 --> 00:50:32,962
Not him. Come on,
l felt kind of sorry for that guy.
821
00:50:33,171 --> 00:50:35,639
Why on earth would you
feel sorry for him?
822
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:39,139
Nothing bad will happen to him.
Would you like a cappuccino?
823
00:50:39,344 --> 00:50:42,507
All right.
But not that poor chump.
824
00:50:42,714 --> 00:50:44,477
l think he was a little soft on me.
825
00:50:44,683 --> 00:50:46,412
Why wouldn't he be soft on you?
826
00:50:46,851 --> 00:50:48,182
You're a beautiful girl.
827
00:50:50,956 --> 00:50:51,786
Sit down.
828
00:50:59,230 --> 00:51:03,189
What say you take another crack
at that role?
829
00:51:03,401 --> 00:51:05,369
He won't come back
without his friend.
830
00:51:05,971 --> 00:51:07,268
Don't worry about him.
831
00:51:07,472 --> 00:51:09,269
His friend is mine for bail money.
832
00:51:09,474 --> 00:51:10,532
He's in jail?
833
00:51:10,742 --> 00:51:11,766
l had him arrested.
834
00:51:11,977 --> 00:51:14,138
The schmuck stole Abe's credit cards.
835
00:51:14,346 --> 00:51:14,379
Bail money? You want me to work
your rinky-dink scam for bail money?
836
00:51:14,379 --> 00:51:18,713
Bail money? You want me to work
your rinky-dink scam for bail money?
837
00:51:19,684 --> 00:51:22,278
No one is trying
to get you to run anything.
838
00:51:22,687 --> 00:51:26,145
l just want you to bring
your friend back for one week.
839
00:51:26,358 --> 00:51:30,886
Unless you want to stay in here,
l suggest you do as l ask.
840
00:51:31,096 --> 00:51:34,122
Tell me, is this a sink or a toilet?
841
00:51:34,332 --> 00:51:35,924
Stick your head in and find out.
842
00:51:36,134 --> 00:51:39,900
Let me explain something.
l don't work with amateurs.
843
00:51:40,105 --> 00:51:41,663
Like singers and actors.
844
00:51:41,873 --> 00:51:45,001
There's only one singer involved,
and that's Mimi Kravitz.
845
00:51:45,210 --> 00:51:48,304
The rest of these people
happen to be damn fine actors.
846
00:51:48,513 --> 00:51:49,980
l cast them myself.
847
00:51:50,515 --> 00:51:54,542
That's Jerome Handy as ''Al the Bookie.''
848
00:51:54,753 --> 00:51:59,247
Did you see his Man of La Mancha
last season at the Pasadena Playhouse?
849
00:51:59,591 --> 00:52:00,819
l'm afraid l missed that.
850
00:52:01,026 --> 00:52:02,891
lt was super.
851
00:52:03,094 --> 00:52:06,222
You've never run a professional scam
in your life, have you?
852
00:52:06,431 --> 00:52:10,731
No, of course not.
l'm a legitimate businessman.
853
00:52:10,935 --> 00:52:12,527
l run Abe's business.
854
00:52:12,737 --> 00:52:13,829
l thought so.
855
00:52:14,039 --> 00:52:17,372
A professional would
never use amateurs.
856
00:52:17,575 --> 00:52:18,906
They crack out of turn.
857
00:52:19,110 --> 00:52:20,771
l don't know what that means.
858
00:52:21,046 --> 00:52:23,537
lt means that
l'm a professional con man.
859
00:52:23,748 --> 00:52:26,512
This is what l do for a living.
860
00:52:26,718 --> 00:52:29,346
What you got here
is not a professional con.
861
00:52:29,587 --> 00:52:30,884
What l got here...
862
00:52:32,090 --> 00:52:33,819
...is $1 0,000.
863
00:52:34,159 --> 00:52:38,528
And it's for you if you just bring
your friend back for one week.
864
00:52:39,864 --> 00:52:41,388
You have to tell me more.
865
00:52:41,599 --> 00:52:43,089
l will, in due time--
866
00:52:43,301 --> 00:52:44,893
Excuse me!
867
00:52:45,470 --> 00:52:46,835
Oh, please!
868
00:52:48,440 --> 00:52:52,171
Just take five grand now
as a down payment, okay?
869
00:52:52,377 --> 00:52:55,278
l don't usually work with amateurs.
870
00:52:57,816 --> 00:53:00,478
But you've caught me
at the right time.
871
00:53:06,057 --> 00:53:08,423
-Wish me luck!
-Wait a minute.
872
00:53:08,626 --> 00:53:09,490
What?
873
00:53:09,694 --> 00:53:12,686
Nothing. l've just got to
pave the way for you.
874
00:53:12,897 --> 00:53:16,355
-What do you mean?
-l talked to a psychiatrist.
875
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:20,368
You've got to take it slow
and easy with this ''George'' shit.
876
00:53:20,572 --> 00:53:22,904
She still thinks you're Abe.
877
00:53:23,808 --> 00:53:25,605
All right? She's in denial.
878
00:53:25,810 --> 00:53:30,179
She's got what they call,
medically speaking, a bum head.
879
00:53:30,882 --> 00:53:32,281
Oh, dear!
880
00:53:32,484 --> 00:53:36,511
After l talk to her,
you can come up and do your stuff, okay?
881
00:53:37,655 --> 00:53:38,747
Don't be long.
882
00:53:43,128 --> 00:53:45,028
Am l interrupting?
883
00:53:45,897 --> 00:53:47,660
lt's the ''Thriller from Manila!''
884
00:53:48,166 --> 00:53:49,565
That's me.
885
00:53:51,770 --> 00:53:53,897
Fourteen rounds, you know.
886
00:53:54,506 --> 00:53:56,531
l was scared to go fifteen.
887
00:53:57,609 --> 00:53:58,974
Did Dibbs tell you l'm in?
888
00:53:59,177 --> 00:54:01,509
Yes, he told me.
889
00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:05,879
Zeppo, could you leave us
for a minute?
890
00:54:06,084 --> 00:54:07,881
Yeah, l'll take over from here.
891
00:54:09,487 --> 00:54:10,385
What do you want?
892
00:54:10,588 --> 00:54:13,352
To tell you l think
the guy's in love with you.
893
00:54:13,558 --> 00:54:14,650
He's downstairs.
894
00:54:29,073 --> 00:54:31,701
Hey, Duane, give the man a break!
895
00:54:31,910 --> 00:54:33,002
Come on.
896
00:54:33,878 --> 00:54:36,711
l'll let you hump my leg.
Come on, baby.
897
00:54:36,915 --> 00:54:39,008
lt's all right.
You can come out now.
898
00:54:42,020 --> 00:54:43,351
Good boy!
899
00:54:45,456 --> 00:54:47,356
Guess who's here?
900
00:54:48,526 --> 00:54:50,153
Honey!
901
00:54:50,562 --> 00:54:51,927
l'm home!
902
00:54:52,463 --> 00:54:54,863
And l'm ready for love!
903
00:54:56,801 --> 00:54:59,429
Honey, it's me.
904
00:55:01,573 --> 00:55:05,031
Remember me from in the car
downstairs a little while ago?
905
00:55:05,476 --> 00:55:08,468
l made a joke, Eddie.
Am l interrupting something?
906
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:11,649
No, we're just talking and--
Never mind.
907
00:55:11,850 --> 00:55:14,216
You two keep talking.
Get together.
908
00:55:14,419 --> 00:55:16,046
-See you later.
-You're damn right.
909
00:55:22,193 --> 00:55:24,093
So, long time no see.
910
00:55:24,295 --> 00:55:25,660
What are you doing here?
911
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:28,594
l brought you some candy
and some flowers...
912
00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:31,064
...and to tell you
that you and l had something.
913
00:55:31,269 --> 00:55:33,897
l saw it in your eyes,
and Eddie saw it too.
914
00:55:34,105 --> 00:55:34,969
Don't deny it.
915
00:55:35,173 --> 00:55:37,334
What are you saying?
That you'd like to stay?
916
00:55:37,542 --> 00:55:40,375
Would l like to stay here with you?
917
00:55:40,578 --> 00:55:42,603
Are you kidding?
918
00:55:44,315 --> 00:55:46,476
lf l could stay here with you,
l'd climb--
919
00:55:46,684 --> 00:55:48,743
l would swim--
920
00:55:48,953 --> 00:55:50,818
l would make myself into a--
921
00:55:51,022 --> 00:55:52,990
l would stay forever if you'd let me.
922
00:55:53,191 --> 00:55:55,751
Let's just see if we can
get along, okay, doll?
923
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:57,018
For a week or so.
924
00:55:57,228 --> 00:56:00,994
l want much more than that.
l want to know all about you.
925
00:56:01,199 --> 00:56:03,497
l'd like you to know
all about me too.
926
00:56:03,701 --> 00:56:06,932
We might just find out
we have a lot in common.
927
00:56:07,171 --> 00:56:09,435
What could we have in common?
928
00:56:10,808 --> 00:56:14,835
-l love basil. You like basil?
-lt doesn't sweep me off my feet.
929
00:56:15,046 --> 00:56:17,071
My favorite color's brown.
930
00:56:17,282 --> 00:56:19,273
l get Reader's Digest.
l love yodeling.
931
00:56:19,484 --> 00:56:22,817
My favorite food is
Wiener schnitzel.
932
00:56:23,021 --> 00:56:24,750
Do you like Wiener schnitzel?
933
00:56:24,956 --> 00:56:25,923
You do!
934
00:56:26,124 --> 00:56:28,251
l hit a bone! l hit a nerve!
935
00:56:28,459 --> 00:56:30,689
l hit something.
l can see it in your eyes.
936
00:56:30,895 --> 00:56:33,955
l'm going to win you over.
l'm going to romance you.
937
00:56:34,165 --> 00:56:35,962
l'll wine you and l'll dine you.
938
00:56:36,167 --> 00:56:40,297
One day, you're going to feel about me
the way l feel about you.
939
00:56:53,451 --> 00:56:55,214
You look really familiar.
940
00:56:55,620 --> 00:56:57,178
How you doing, legs?
941
00:56:57,588 --> 00:56:58,885
The name is Gloria...
942
00:56:59,090 --> 00:57:00,114
...not ''legs.''
943
00:57:00,792 --> 00:57:01,781
You!
944
00:57:02,260 --> 00:57:03,557
l've been dreaming about you.
945
00:57:03,761 --> 00:57:04,625
Why are you here?
946
00:57:04,829 --> 00:57:07,855
l'm here to see Dibbs.
l got an important appointment.
947
00:57:08,566 --> 00:57:09,533
Yeah, right.
948
00:57:11,636 --> 00:57:12,967
This report--
949
00:57:14,939 --> 00:57:15,837
How's the boy?
950
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,133
l'm glad you could make it.
This can wait.
951
00:57:18,343 --> 00:57:20,038
Ever been to a brewery before?
952
00:57:20,244 --> 00:57:21,438
How about a little tour?
953
00:57:21,646 --> 00:57:24,843
That'd be great.
Listen, you busy Saturday night?
954
00:57:25,750 --> 00:57:27,411
Maybe, maybe not.
955
00:57:28,953 --> 00:57:30,420
That's nice.
l like that.
956
00:57:30,621 --> 00:57:32,486
l'll see you Saturday night, okay?
957
00:57:32,690 --> 00:57:34,988
-You paying?
-That's cute.
958
00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:36,786
Fine thing.
959
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:45,129
When Abe Fielding, Sr., died, everyone
assumed l'd inherit the brewery.
960
00:57:45,336 --> 00:57:46,826
lt turns out he has a son.
961
00:57:47,038 --> 00:57:49,097
-Can we talk about Gloria?
-Later.
962
00:57:49,307 --> 00:57:50,501
So as l was saying...
963
00:57:50,708 --> 00:57:54,144
...we finally track down
this Abe Jr. 1 0 minutes after...
964
00:57:54,345 --> 00:57:56,973
...an ugly accident during
a Dance of Death.
965
00:57:57,181 --> 00:57:58,876
The guy had gone off to Tibet.
966
00:57:59,083 --> 00:58:01,677
-Could we talk about Gloria?
-Do you mind?
967
00:58:01,886 --> 00:58:04,946
Anyway, the only way to keep
the estate out of probate...
968
00:58:05,156 --> 00:58:07,647
...was to convince someone
to be Abe Jr.
969
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,419
We found George in the loony bin.
A liar. Get it?
970
00:58:10,628 --> 00:58:14,496
We doctored up a photo, hired a
couple of actors, and here we are.
971
00:58:14,699 --> 00:58:16,633
Does she always look that good?
972
00:58:16,834 --> 00:58:20,861
Sorry, I think I'II find out
for myseIf Saturday night.
973
00:58:45,596 --> 00:58:47,860
Maybe we could go
and do a little padumph.
974
00:58:48,066 --> 00:58:49,556
-Padumph?
-Yeah.
975
00:58:50,201 --> 00:58:53,136
-l've done that before.
-l think you'll enjoy it.
976
00:58:57,809 --> 00:58:59,140
See that guy over there?
977
00:58:59,710 --> 00:59:02,474
He's one of the best sax players
l've ever heard.
978
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:03,738
What's his name?
979
00:59:08,586 --> 00:59:10,019
Eddie Dash, right?
980
00:59:10,421 --> 00:59:11,752
Yeah, amazing.
981
00:59:16,828 --> 00:59:18,159
Ladies and gentlemen...
982
00:59:18,663 --> 00:59:21,257
...we have someone very special
here tonight.
983
00:59:21,466 --> 00:59:24,435
One of the greatest
sax players around.
984
00:59:24,635 --> 00:59:27,229
The one and only Mr. Eddie Dash!
985
00:59:33,911 --> 00:59:34,809
They got the wrong--
986
00:59:35,012 --> 00:59:36,036
Come on, man.
987
00:59:36,647 --> 00:59:37,841
Oh, God, no!
988
00:59:43,521 --> 00:59:44,510
Just go.
989
00:59:44,722 --> 00:59:46,189
Just go?
990
00:59:58,136 --> 00:59:59,262
What will it be?
991
00:59:59,937 --> 01:00:01,598
lt really doesn't matter.
992
01:00:02,406 --> 01:00:03,668
The guy's a pro.
993
01:00:45,416 --> 01:00:47,008
lt's interpretation.
994
01:00:50,421 --> 01:00:51,388
Everybody!
995
01:01:04,135 --> 01:01:05,227
Oh, my God.
996
01:01:19,817 --> 01:01:21,216
You know a lot of people here.
997
01:01:21,419 --> 01:01:23,580
l used to come here all the time.
998
01:01:25,289 --> 01:01:26,517
This is us, honey.
999
01:01:26,724 --> 01:01:28,089
This is your table.
1000
01:01:34,498 --> 01:01:36,796
Would you excuse me for a minute?
1001
01:01:41,906 --> 01:01:43,066
Here's the music.
1002
01:01:52,950 --> 01:01:54,440
Good evening, honey.
1003
01:01:58,756 --> 01:01:59,654
You know...
1004
01:02:00,691 --> 01:02:02,716
...as we look towards the east...
1005
01:02:02,927 --> 01:02:04,758
...and see a united DeutschIand...
1006
01:02:04,962 --> 01:02:07,192
...it behooves us to stop and think...
1007
01:02:07,398 --> 01:02:09,332
...about what walls can do.
1008
01:02:09,533 --> 01:02:11,660
Walls between nations.
1009
01:02:13,004 --> 01:02:14,904
Walls between peoples.
1010
01:02:17,541 --> 01:02:20,704
Walls between you and me, Elaine.
1011
01:02:22,980 --> 01:02:26,313
But if that darned wall
in Berlin town can come down...
1012
01:02:26,517 --> 01:02:28,508
...then maybe it's not
too much to expect...
1013
01:02:28,719 --> 01:02:31,517
...the wall between us
to come down too.
1014
01:02:31,722 --> 01:02:32,984
Who knows?
1015
01:02:33,190 --> 01:02:34,817
Maybe it just takes a dance.
1016
01:02:35,893 --> 01:02:36,723
Or a glance.
1017
01:02:38,829 --> 01:02:40,319
Or a chance...
1018
01:02:41,966 --> 01:02:43,866
...to sing a song.
1019
01:02:44,835 --> 01:02:46,166
l call this...
1020
01:02:47,171 --> 01:02:48,138
...''Yodelaine.''
1021
01:02:51,409 --> 01:02:52,967
Get off the stage!
1022
01:02:54,645 --> 01:02:56,374
Yo-deI...
1023
01:02:59,617 --> 01:03:00,879
...EIaine
1024
01:03:01,085 --> 01:03:03,212
My heart's afIame
1025
01:03:07,992 --> 01:03:09,926
YodeIaine
1026
01:03:10,127 --> 01:03:12,027
I'm not insane
1027
01:03:21,339 --> 01:03:22,738
YodeIaine
1028
01:03:23,274 --> 01:03:25,037
You screwed my brain
1029
01:03:30,114 --> 01:03:31,877
My EIaine
1030
01:03:32,416 --> 01:03:33,508
I Iove you
1031
01:03:57,608 --> 01:03:59,166
Oh, my God!
1032
01:03:59,710 --> 01:04:01,803
lt's Mimi Kravitz!
1033
01:04:38,315 --> 01:04:40,647
Don't tell anybody about this.
1034
01:04:56,867 --> 01:04:58,630
I'm in the mood for Iove
1035
01:04:58,836 --> 01:04:59,666
Damn!
1036
01:05:13,417 --> 01:05:15,612
Hey, what are you doing up there?
1037
01:05:16,487 --> 01:05:17,954
l know you're
in the swing of things...
1038
01:05:18,155 --> 01:05:20,020
...but we got business
to take care of.
1039
01:05:20,224 --> 01:05:21,054
What business?
1040
01:05:21,258 --> 01:05:24,386
We got to check him into the dentist
as Abe Fielding.
1041
01:05:24,595 --> 01:05:27,564
-Why?
-Dibbs wants to see his dental charts.
1042
01:05:36,674 --> 01:05:36,740
Mr. Fielding?
1043
01:05:36,740 --> 01:05:37,866
Mr. Fielding?
1044
01:05:38,075 --> 01:05:40,441
Are you still feeling the effects?
1045
01:05:40,644 --> 01:05:43,112
Can you say something, Mr. Fielding?
1046
01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:44,781
Don't call...
1047
01:05:44,982 --> 01:05:46,643
...my friend a shithead.
1048
01:05:48,285 --> 01:05:49,809
Of course he has.
1049
01:05:50,554 --> 01:05:51,680
Well, okay.
1050
01:05:52,089 --> 01:05:53,818
Now, Mr. Fielding...
1051
01:05:54,725 --> 01:05:56,784
...you just have one cavity.
1052
01:05:56,994 --> 01:05:59,827
So all you will hear
is the sound of the drill.
1053
01:06:02,433 --> 01:06:03,593
Tragic.
1054
01:06:04,401 --> 01:06:05,698
Were there any survivors?
1055
01:06:05,903 --> 01:06:08,064
No one. The thing blew up!
1056
01:06:08,272 --> 01:06:09,170
How awful.
1057
01:06:09,740 --> 01:06:13,972
Says here that the bodies were
charred beyond recognition.
1058
01:06:14,178 --> 01:06:15,372
Oh, my God!
1059
01:06:16,914 --> 01:06:19,041
At least they'll know
who they're burying.
1060
01:06:19,250 --> 01:06:21,081
How will they know?
1061
01:06:21,285 --> 01:06:25,449
From the dental records.
They'll check the dental records.
1062
01:06:25,890 --> 01:06:27,482
Oh, yeah, you're right.
1063
01:06:36,433 --> 01:06:38,458
Abe Fielding.
What cubicle is he in?
1064
01:06:38,669 --> 01:06:40,364
-Who?
-You don't know him?
1065
01:06:41,705 --> 01:06:43,070
lt's not what you think.
1066
01:06:43,274 --> 01:06:45,504
Then why does Dibbs want
the dental charts?
1067
01:06:45,709 --> 01:06:46,835
l'll make a deal with George.
1068
01:06:47,044 --> 01:06:51,037
He'll hang out till the end of the week,
and then l get my money.
1069
01:06:56,720 --> 01:06:59,211
But getting killed
was not part of the deal.
1070
01:06:59,423 --> 01:07:02,153
Dibbs would never kill anyone.
lt's not in him.
1071
01:07:04,495 --> 01:07:05,359
Excuse me.
1072
01:07:07,965 --> 01:07:10,263
Sweetheart, we're getting
out of here.
1073
01:07:11,135 --> 01:07:12,159
We got to go.
1074
01:07:13,971 --> 01:07:15,871
Dibbs wants you dead, all right?
1075
01:07:16,073 --> 01:07:17,506
Get this.
Listen carefully.
1076
01:07:17,708 --> 01:07:19,175
He wants you dead...
1077
01:07:19,376 --> 01:07:23,335
...so he can bury you as Fielding
and inherit the company.
1078
01:07:28,185 --> 01:07:29,846
You must all leave!
1079
01:07:30,621 --> 01:07:32,213
No, she leaves...
1080
01:07:32,423 --> 01:07:34,186
...l leave, he stays.
1081
01:07:34,391 --> 01:07:37,690
No, no. l leave,
you leave, he leaves.
1082
01:07:37,895 --> 01:07:39,624
No, he must stay!
1083
01:07:39,830 --> 01:07:41,024
He has a cavity.
1084
01:07:41,532 --> 01:07:42,521
You leave!
1085
01:07:44,768 --> 01:07:46,235
Show us the cavity.
1086
01:07:54,745 --> 01:07:57,145
Oh, you got a rise,
Mr. Fielding!
1087
01:07:59,550 --> 01:08:00,380
Ride 'em, cowboy!
1088
01:08:04,888 --> 01:08:06,549
Of all the gall!
1089
01:08:08,859 --> 01:08:12,625
Did l ever say that anything bad
was going to happen to him?
1090
01:08:12,830 --> 01:08:16,129
You never said it to me.
He never said it to me.
1091
01:08:16,834 --> 01:08:19,860
Why did we take him to all
those doctors and dentists?
1092
01:08:20,070 --> 01:08:20,900
Wait a minute.
1093
01:08:21,105 --> 01:08:23,801
lt was to establish that he was
Abe Fielding, right?
1094
01:08:24,008 --> 01:08:26,374
Yes, that is right.
And that is because...
1095
01:08:26,577 --> 01:08:29,637
...there are certain financial
transactions l can't make...
1096
01:08:29,847 --> 01:08:32,281
-...unless Abe Fielding is alive.
-He's right.
1097
01:08:32,950 --> 01:08:34,747
l want to tell you something.
1098
01:08:34,952 --> 01:08:36,078
Quite frankly, l expected...
1099
01:08:36,286 --> 01:08:38,447
...more support out of you,
more gratitude.
1100
01:08:38,656 --> 01:08:41,955
For the money l'm paying,
l could've hired a real actress.
1101
01:08:42,226 --> 01:08:43,659
That's it.
That's the button.
1102
01:08:43,861 --> 01:08:46,022
You pushed it.
l'm out of here! Sayonara!
1103
01:08:46,230 --> 01:08:48,323
-l'm going back to my old job.
-What's that?
1104
01:08:48,532 --> 01:08:51,865
Yodeling in a hillbilly nightclub?
Just what does that pay?
1105
01:08:52,069 --> 01:08:54,594
The man is just
trying to reassure you.
1106
01:08:54,805 --> 01:08:55,897
By the way...
1107
01:08:56,106 --> 01:08:58,597
...what business is it of yours
what happens to him?
1108
01:08:59,076 --> 01:09:00,839
l'm making it my business, okay?
1109
01:09:02,046 --> 01:09:04,879
Have we fallen in love
with the lunatic?
1110
01:09:05,149 --> 01:09:08,016
No, the lady's not
in love with him.
1111
01:09:08,218 --> 01:09:10,948
She don't want to get involved
in a murder rap thing.
1112
01:09:11,155 --> 01:09:12,019
Murder.
1113
01:09:12,589 --> 01:09:13,749
Wait for me in the car.
1114
01:09:13,957 --> 01:09:17,017
You got his guarantee that
there ain't going to be no hit.
1115
01:09:17,227 --> 01:09:18,660
There better not be.
1116
01:09:23,500 --> 01:09:24,865
Actresses, you know.
1117
01:09:25,069 --> 01:09:27,162
Can't live with them
and can't kill them.
1118
01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:29,202
Everything's okay, right?
1119
01:09:29,707 --> 01:09:31,265
l mean, it looks cool to me.
1120
01:09:31,475 --> 01:09:33,067
Well, not quite.
1121
01:09:33,610 --> 01:09:34,634
Sit down.
1122
01:09:37,781 --> 01:09:40,341
There's one more thing
l need you to do.
1123
01:09:40,551 --> 01:09:43,850
-Yeah, what?
-l need you to dispose of the lunatic.
1124
01:09:45,122 --> 01:09:46,248
lce George?
1125
01:09:47,825 --> 01:09:49,816
l need Abe Fielding
dead and buried.
1126
01:09:51,228 --> 01:09:53,219
lce George.
1127
01:09:53,430 --> 01:09:58,265
Now, please. Don't tell me that
you're above this sort of thing.
1128
01:09:59,169 --> 01:10:03,162
l never iced anyone in my life.
l'm a con man, not a hit man.
1129
01:10:04,241 --> 01:10:06,471
l think you have
two qualities that are--
1130
01:10:06,677 --> 01:10:07,871
Don't touch me.
1131
01:10:08,412 --> 01:10:09,936
First, you love money.
1132
01:10:10,647 --> 01:10:11,807
And second...
1133
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,746
...you have absolutely no
moral character. What do you say?
1134
01:10:21,892 --> 01:10:24,690
-How much money we talking?
-Name your price.
1135
01:10:24,895 --> 01:10:25,725
Look, Eddie.
1136
01:10:27,397 --> 01:10:29,695
Write down any figure
you consider reasonable.
1137
01:10:29,900 --> 01:10:33,267
l'll pay you that amount in cash.
Go on, knock yourself out.
1138
01:10:42,146 --> 01:10:43,875
Come on, we got to go.
We're late.
1139
01:10:44,081 --> 01:10:45,343
l want to kiss her goodbye.
1140
01:10:45,549 --> 01:10:49,041
-She can't know about this.
-l won't wake her. Just one kiss.
1141
01:10:55,125 --> 01:10:58,026
Look at that face. lsn't she cute?
1142
01:10:58,228 --> 01:10:59,525
Don't wake her up.
1143
01:10:59,730 --> 01:11:00,697
-Let's go.
-What's that?
1144
01:11:00,898 --> 01:11:03,196
-This is your gun.
-l could never shoot--
1145
01:11:06,470 --> 01:11:07,596
Holy shit!
1146
01:11:14,278 --> 01:11:15,905
What happened? You all right?
1147
01:11:16,113 --> 01:11:17,080
Sorry, honey.
1148
01:11:17,281 --> 01:11:18,475
Fucking lunatic!
1149
01:11:30,127 --> 01:11:32,994
-I've never been in the woods before.
-What?
1150
01:11:33,197 --> 01:11:35,665
The woods! I've never been
in the woods before.
1151
01:11:35,866 --> 01:11:39,495
The most important thing you
need to know is, if you see...
1152
01:11:39,703 --> 01:11:43,696
...anything that Iooks Iike poison ivy,
don't wipe your ass with it.
1153
01:11:49,046 --> 01:11:50,445
You old duck hunter!
1154
01:11:51,582 --> 01:11:53,311
-How's it going?
-Fine. You?
1155
01:11:53,617 --> 01:11:55,551
Wouldn't miss it for the world!
1156
01:11:55,752 --> 01:11:59,085
Damn ducks! What the hell
we need those ducks for?
1157
01:12:00,090 --> 01:12:01,955
What a day to kill a duck.
1158
01:12:03,060 --> 01:12:05,528
Maybe after the hunt
we can shoot billiards.
1159
01:12:05,729 --> 01:12:07,196
What do you say?
Here.
1160
01:12:07,397 --> 01:12:09,422
l picked this out for you myself.
1161
01:12:09,967 --> 01:12:11,764
This is your hunting jacket.
1162
01:12:11,969 --> 01:12:13,095
That is great!
1163
01:12:15,505 --> 01:12:17,598
-Thanks, Dibbsy.
-lt looks wonderful.
1164
01:12:17,808 --> 01:12:18,866
You know who you look like?
1165
01:12:19,076 --> 01:12:19,906
Ernest Hemingway.
1166
01:12:20,110 --> 01:12:21,270
-Honest?
-Doesn't he?
1167
01:12:23,046 --> 01:12:24,809
Look, l hate to rush.
1168
01:12:25,549 --> 01:12:28,177
Something unexpected came up.
l can't go with you.
1169
01:12:28,385 --> 01:12:30,785
-Why not?
-Business. That's life.
1170
01:12:30,988 --> 01:12:32,649
Emergency at the plant.
1171
01:12:32,856 --> 01:12:35,586
The ducks won't wait.
They don't care about business.
1172
01:12:35,792 --> 01:12:36,918
Come on. Let's go.
1173
01:12:37,127 --> 01:12:38,856
Did you shoot all these yourself?
1174
01:12:39,062 --> 01:12:41,929
You did.
And all the Fieldings before you.
1175
01:12:42,366 --> 01:12:44,926
-Ducks for dinner tonight!
-Happy hunting!
1176
01:12:45,135 --> 01:12:48,104
Wait in the truck.
l got to go to the bathroom.
1177
01:12:48,639 --> 01:12:51,039
-Happy hunting!
-l got to talk to you.
1178
01:12:52,943 --> 01:12:56,777
You were supposed to come with us.
What the fuck's going on?
1179
01:12:56,980 --> 01:13:00,143
Relax, will you?
Just get him in the duck blind.
1180
01:13:00,350 --> 01:13:01,681
Blast a couple of ducks...
1181
01:13:01,885 --> 01:13:03,614
...and then you yell,
''Look out!
1182
01:13:03,820 --> 01:13:06,584
There's a bear! Run for your life!''
Then you blast him.
1183
01:13:06,790 --> 01:13:08,519
There are no bears
in a duck blind.
1184
01:13:08,725 --> 01:13:11,057
lt doesn't matter if
there are bears or not!
1185
01:13:11,261 --> 01:13:14,628
Just yell, ''There's a bear!''
lt'll all be over before he knows it.
1186
01:13:16,466 --> 01:13:18,024
l want the other half
of my money...
1187
01:13:18,235 --> 01:13:20,999
...before people find out
we're not burying Fielding.
1188
01:13:21,204 --> 01:13:22,535
There's no chance of that.
1189
01:13:22,739 --> 01:13:24,707
l have all the documents
l need to prove...
1190
01:13:24,908 --> 01:13:26,876
...that he is Abe Fielding.
1191
01:13:27,244 --> 01:13:29,405
You don't have to worry about it.
1192
01:13:29,780 --> 01:13:30,678
Come on!
1193
01:13:32,115 --> 01:13:34,015
This is a nice jacket
he gave me.
1194
01:13:34,217 --> 01:13:36,617
lt must've cost him a pretty penny.
1195
01:13:36,820 --> 01:13:39,414
You got to put the collar up.
You got to be cool.
1196
01:13:39,623 --> 01:13:40,453
How do you mean?
1197
01:13:40,657 --> 01:13:42,716
Classy.
l like that.
1198
01:13:43,060 --> 01:13:44,049
-CooI?
-CooI.
1199
01:13:44,394 --> 01:13:45,918
CooI, man. Like you?
1200
01:13:46,129 --> 01:13:46,959
I Iook Iike Eddie.
1201
01:13:49,700 --> 01:13:51,895
-Very nice.
-Ducks!
1202
01:14:06,750 --> 01:14:07,717
Not now.
1203
01:14:07,918 --> 01:14:09,112
Take it easy.
1204
01:14:12,656 --> 01:14:13,520
Easy.
1205
01:14:15,125 --> 01:14:18,561
Keep flying! Go home!
There's people down here with guns!
1206
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:19,826
Get out of here!
1207
01:14:20,030 --> 01:14:21,930
Go back to your families!
Get out!
1208
01:14:22,132 --> 01:14:23,360
Get out! Get out!
1209
01:14:23,567 --> 01:14:24,693
Why'd you do that?
1210
01:14:25,502 --> 01:14:27,766
To keep an innocent creature
from being killed.
1211
01:14:27,971 --> 01:14:30,565
To save you from a lifetime
of heartache and guilt.
1212
01:14:30,774 --> 01:14:32,935
-They're just ducks!
-They're not just ducks!
1213
01:14:33,276 --> 01:14:35,437
They're alive!
They're like you and me!
1214
01:14:35,645 --> 01:14:36,771
They're not like you and me.
1215
01:14:36,980 --> 01:14:39,574
They fly around
and they shit on people.
1216
01:14:41,218 --> 01:14:44,585
Be kind to your web-footed friends
1217
01:14:45,956 --> 01:14:47,583
Cause a duck couId be--
1218
01:14:48,658 --> 01:14:51,058
Could you freeze on the
''web-footed friends'' shit?
1219
01:14:51,261 --> 01:14:54,162
Sorry, l couldn't help
think about those poor ducks.
1220
01:14:54,364 --> 01:14:56,628
-What was that?
-What was what?
1221
01:14:57,267 --> 01:14:58,256
l heard something.
1222
01:15:00,003 --> 01:15:01,493
-Bird?
-lt was a bear!
1223
01:15:01,705 --> 01:15:02,865
A bear!
1224
01:15:05,108 --> 01:15:05,938
Where?
1225
01:15:06,209 --> 01:15:07,642
l'm going to get it.
1226
01:15:08,512 --> 01:15:09,638
Do you see it?
1227
01:15:10,447 --> 01:15:12,642
-No, but it's a bear.
-Where is it now?
1228
01:15:12,849 --> 01:15:15,943
-lt's a brown bear.
-A big brown bear?
1229
01:15:18,755 --> 01:15:19,585
You were right.
1230
01:15:19,790 --> 01:15:20,654
l see it.
1231
01:15:20,857 --> 01:15:22,347
You put one of these....
1232
01:15:22,559 --> 01:15:23,617
Oh, my God.
1233
01:15:25,662 --> 01:15:26,959
He's huge!
1234
01:15:27,164 --> 01:15:29,394
He's a great giant bear!
1235
01:15:32,903 --> 01:15:33,801
Don't worry.
1236
01:15:35,272 --> 01:15:36,102
Don't worry.
1237
01:15:36,573 --> 01:15:37,403
Sit.
1238
01:15:37,607 --> 01:15:38,574
Sit, baby.
1239
01:15:40,644 --> 01:15:42,168
He's going to rip off your dick!
1240
01:15:42,379 --> 01:15:43,471
Hello there.
1241
01:15:44,481 --> 01:15:45,778
Say, you're...
1242
01:15:45,982 --> 01:15:47,609
...a big fellow, aren't you?
1243
01:15:49,820 --> 01:15:51,344
lf you understand what l'm saying...
1244
01:15:51,621 --> 01:15:53,521
...raise your left hand.
Good.
1245
01:15:53,723 --> 01:15:55,987
Now both of them.
Very good!
1246
01:15:56,193 --> 01:15:57,785
What the fuck are you doing?
1247
01:15:59,463 --> 01:16:01,124
We want to express...
1248
01:16:02,365 --> 01:16:04,128
...love for you.
1249
01:16:05,535 --> 01:16:07,628
Eddie and l come in peace.
1250
01:16:09,372 --> 01:16:12,899
Well, l see what you mean.
You make a good point.
1251
01:16:14,778 --> 01:16:18,839
We saw your friends mounted on the wall
at the lodge we just came from.
1252
01:16:19,049 --> 01:16:20,038
Tell you the truth...
1253
01:16:20,250 --> 01:16:23,219
...Eddie and l found it disgusting.
Didn't we?
1254
01:16:23,420 --> 01:16:25,217
Get the fuck out of the way!
1255
01:16:25,422 --> 01:16:26,787
l'm going to shoot it!
1256
01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:28,883
Don't shoot.
1257
01:16:29,092 --> 01:16:30,286
Don't shoot!
1258
01:16:41,271 --> 01:16:42,533
Well, kids...
1259
01:16:43,874 --> 01:16:48,140
...it's time to ring down the curtain
on this little production of ours.
1260
01:16:49,479 --> 01:16:52,004
l think we made a hit, don't you?
1261
01:16:52,782 --> 01:16:57,549
Leticia, l prophesy a big career
for you. l mean that.
1262
01:16:57,754 --> 01:17:00,621
The memorial service will be
in the Fielding chapel...
1263
01:17:00,824 --> 01:17:03,088
...which is just adjoining
the brewery.
1264
01:17:04,027 --> 01:17:05,255
Brewery!
1265
01:17:05,629 --> 01:17:08,530
l will be expecting
the three of you to attend.
1266
01:17:08,865 --> 01:17:11,425
Just think of it as a curtain call.
1267
01:17:11,635 --> 01:17:13,830
So you're saying that
we're burying him...
1268
01:17:14,037 --> 01:17:16,403
...as Fielding, even though
he wasn't Fielding.
1269
01:17:16,606 --> 01:17:18,972
Yes, l feel
it's the least we can do.
1270
01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:22,612
You know, the poor guy
had no family, no friends.
1271
01:17:22,812 --> 01:17:26,509
lt's a terrible tragedy,
but accidents happen.
1272
01:17:27,784 --> 01:17:29,217
Don't they, Eddie?
1273
01:17:30,453 --> 01:17:31,750
lt was an accident.
1274
01:17:31,955 --> 01:17:33,013
Of course it was.
1275
01:17:33,223 --> 01:17:37,159
No one is saying it wasn't.
Nobody blames you.
1276
01:17:37,827 --> 01:17:38,919
How do we play this?
1277
01:17:39,129 --> 01:17:40,619
Like we knew him as Abe?
1278
01:17:40,830 --> 01:17:43,890
Of course, Jerome.
That's the whole point, isn't it?
1279
01:17:45,402 --> 01:17:47,199
Play it sad, but not morose.
1280
01:17:47,938 --> 01:17:49,803
Upset, but, please, no tears.
1281
01:17:51,074 --> 01:17:53,338
Poor guy. l feel awful.
1282
01:17:53,543 --> 01:17:55,374
Well, you use that, Eleanor.
1283
01:17:55,579 --> 01:17:59,071
Save it for later and use it.
That's called ''method acting.''
1284
01:17:59,282 --> 01:18:02,274
Look, everybody, l just want
to express my gratitude...
1285
01:18:02,485 --> 01:18:04,715
...to a very talented ensemble...
1286
01:18:04,921 --> 01:18:08,220
...of thespians.
Bravo! Bravissimo!
1287
01:18:36,386 --> 01:18:39,116
For Pete's sake!
lf we knew you were Abe...
1288
01:18:39,322 --> 01:18:41,313
...we might have been able
to help you!
1289
01:18:47,931 --> 01:18:50,024
Now, that is a beautiful suit.
1290
01:18:50,233 --> 01:18:53,794
And that tie matches perfectly.
But you need a handkerchief.
1291
01:18:54,004 --> 01:18:56,837
-Can l get a handkerchief?
-Enough is enough!
1292
01:18:57,040 --> 01:18:59,338
Sit down in the pew,
shut up and be good.
1293
01:18:59,542 --> 01:19:01,305
l always said you were full of shit.
1294
01:19:08,318 --> 01:19:10,013
We hardly knew you.
1295
01:19:11,254 --> 01:19:12,551
We knew your dad, though.
1296
01:19:12,889 --> 01:19:14,880
Many of us remember
putting to rest...
1297
01:19:15,091 --> 01:19:19,960
...rather, preserving the great man
right here, not so long ago.
1298
01:19:20,397 --> 01:19:24,731
And now father and son can freeze
in peace together.
1299
01:19:28,238 --> 01:19:31,469
Abe's best friend,
Mr. Eddie Dash, is here.
1300
01:19:31,675 --> 01:19:33,199
He's going to say a few words.
1301
01:19:33,410 --> 01:19:36,106
Eddie, come and say a few words.
1302
01:19:39,049 --> 01:19:40,175
-Mr. Dibbs?
-What?
1303
01:19:40,383 --> 01:19:43,284
There's an extremely urgent
phone call for you.
1304
01:19:48,124 --> 01:19:49,250
Hey, hands off!
1305
01:19:54,364 --> 01:19:57,390
Abe was a nice man.
1306
01:19:57,734 --> 01:20:00,635
Yes, he was.
Good man, Abe.
1307
01:20:02,806 --> 01:20:04,000
He liked basil.
1308
01:20:05,008 --> 01:20:06,441
He loved basil.
1309
01:20:06,643 --> 01:20:10,044
He used to say basil was
a herb whose time had come.
1310
01:20:14,718 --> 01:20:16,083
Unfortunately, Abe...
1311
01:20:16,853 --> 01:20:18,878
...it was you whose time had come.
1312
01:20:19,422 --> 01:20:21,982
We used to smoke basil together.
1313
01:20:22,292 --> 01:20:24,988
And you know,
we'd get a natural high.
1314
01:20:25,462 --> 01:20:26,929
Smoked a lot too.
1315
01:20:27,430 --> 01:20:30,957
And he loved to yodel.
Yodeling and magic...
1316
01:20:31,167 --> 01:20:32,293
...that was his thing.
1317
01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:35,266
He always said
if he could combine the two...
1318
01:20:35,472 --> 01:20:40,239
...he would yodel from his grave.
l know that's impossible.
1319
01:20:55,525 --> 01:20:56,651
lt's a miracle!
1320
01:21:22,285 --> 01:21:23,115
Hi, everybody.
1321
01:21:23,620 --> 01:21:26,646
l'm very touched that
you all came to my funeral.
1322
01:21:26,856 --> 01:21:28,255
l know this must be a--
1323
01:21:28,825 --> 01:21:29,655
Honey!
1324
01:21:31,861 --> 01:21:34,830
What happened?
What's the matter, sweetheart?
1325
01:21:35,031 --> 01:21:36,328
What the hell is going on?
1326
01:21:36,533 --> 01:21:38,967
-You tell me.
-Did we rehearse this scene?
1327
01:21:50,680 --> 01:21:51,977
What are you doing?
1328
01:21:52,182 --> 01:21:54,673
Have you completely lost
your tiny mind?
1329
01:21:54,884 --> 01:21:58,342
-You forget, we're playing my game now.
-Really?
1330
01:21:58,555 --> 01:22:01,524
l've got news for you.
l'm the one holding all the cards.
1331
01:22:01,724 --> 01:22:03,214
l can prove you're a murderer.
1332
01:22:03,426 --> 01:22:05,951
l've got the whole ugly
business on tape.
1333
01:22:06,162 --> 01:22:08,289
Au contraire.
There was no murder.
1334
01:22:08,498 --> 01:22:11,763
But there was a conspiracy to murder,
which l have on tape.
1335
01:22:14,103 --> 01:22:16,094
Honey, can you hear me?
1336
01:22:18,508 --> 01:22:21,443
-Everything's going to be all right.
-Eddie shot you.
1337
01:22:21,644 --> 01:22:24,772
That was part of the plan.
He was supposed to tell you.
1338
01:22:24,981 --> 01:22:26,972
We worked it out
on the way to the lodge.
1339
01:22:27,617 --> 01:22:31,018
This is our first meeting...
our second meeting....
1340
01:22:32,322 --> 01:22:34,722
Here's something for you.
Johnny Mathis.
1341
01:22:34,924 --> 01:22:36,516
To help you make it
through the night.
1342
01:22:39,729 --> 01:22:40,889
And this file...
1343
01:22:41,164 --> 01:22:44,395
...proves that my man
is Abe Fielding.
1344
01:22:44,601 --> 01:22:46,466
Your man is dead!
1345
01:22:46,669 --> 01:22:48,569
Wrong again, Dibbsy.
1346
01:22:51,541 --> 01:22:53,873
What does that mean?
What does ''bogazine'' mean?
1347
01:22:59,682 --> 01:23:01,445
We got to get out of here!
1348
01:23:03,753 --> 01:23:05,778
But l saw him lying in the morgue!
1349
01:23:05,989 --> 01:23:07,320
Eddie's got connections.
1350
01:23:07,524 --> 01:23:09,856
The morgue attendant
owed him a favor. Right?
1351
01:23:10,059 --> 01:23:11,151
That's right.
1352
01:23:11,628 --> 01:23:13,152
Hello, everybody.
1353
01:23:13,363 --> 01:23:16,230
l know you must be confused
about what's going on.
1354
01:23:16,699 --> 01:23:20,601
The important thing is that
l'm back at the brewery...
1355
01:23:20,803 --> 01:23:24,239
...and you're all in
for a five-percent raise.
1356
01:23:27,043 --> 01:23:28,601
Don't listen.
He's full of shit!
1357
01:23:33,249 --> 01:23:34,238
You all right?
1358
01:23:34,617 --> 01:23:35,447
Get me up!
1359
01:23:35,652 --> 01:23:37,210
Get me up right now!
1360
01:23:37,420 --> 01:23:39,183
You can't say we didn't try.
1361
01:23:40,056 --> 01:23:40,886
Cut him loose.
1362
01:23:41,090 --> 01:23:42,717
That man is an impostor!
1363
01:23:44,627 --> 01:23:46,254
Cut me out of this!
1364
01:23:46,529 --> 01:23:47,894
He's not Abe Fielding.
1365
01:23:48,097 --> 01:23:51,931
l knew Abe Fielding.
Abe Fielding was a friend of mine.
1366
01:23:52,135 --> 01:23:55,002
And this man is not Abe Fielding.
1367
01:23:55,204 --> 01:23:58,071
But, Mr. Dibbs,
you just eulogized him. You said:
1368
01:23:58,274 --> 01:24:00,868
-...''Abe, we hardly knew you--''
-Shut up. Sit down.
1369
01:24:01,678 --> 01:24:02,508
You! You!
1370
01:24:03,379 --> 01:24:07,406
Did you or did you not treat
this man in your lunatic asylum?
1371
01:24:07,617 --> 01:24:10,142
Sanitarium! You told us
he was Abe Fielding.
1372
01:24:10,353 --> 01:24:11,615
Right, but he's not!
1373
01:24:11,821 --> 01:24:15,086
l challenge anyone to say
that he's Abe Fielding.
1374
01:24:15,291 --> 01:24:18,419
He's Abe Fielding!
l've been his bookie for years.
1375
01:24:18,895 --> 01:24:19,862
Shut up!
1376
01:24:20,063 --> 01:24:23,055
He's one of our best friends.
lsn't that right, honey?
1377
01:24:23,266 --> 01:24:24,790
-Not now, you idiot!
-Wait.
1378
01:24:25,001 --> 01:24:26,491
l don't remember this scene.
1379
01:24:26,703 --> 01:24:29,763
Ladies and gentlemen,
these people are merely actors.
1380
01:24:29,973 --> 01:24:30,962
Merely actors?
1381
01:24:31,174 --> 01:24:32,971
And not very good ones at that.
1382
01:24:33,176 --> 01:24:35,770
They're playing roles.
They're being paid.
1383
01:24:41,484 --> 01:24:43,349
Point of order!
1384
01:24:46,089 --> 01:24:46,919
Help.
1385
01:24:48,658 --> 01:24:51,752
Ronald Reagan was merely an actor!
1386
01:24:56,833 --> 01:24:58,528
All right. Fine!
1387
01:24:59,769 --> 01:25:01,361
Are you the Equity deputy?
1388
01:25:03,039 --> 01:25:04,666
l don't know what to say.
1389
01:25:04,874 --> 01:25:07,672
l feel like such a fool.
l'm sorry. l am.
1390
01:25:07,877 --> 01:25:09,504
l lost, you won.
1391
01:25:09,712 --> 01:25:11,145
Come on!
1392
01:25:11,347 --> 01:25:15,374
Let's bury the hatchet over
a stein of Fielding in my-- your office.
1393
01:25:15,585 --> 01:25:17,485
-No, l don't--
-Don't be a spoilsport!
1394
01:25:17,687 --> 01:25:21,179
-We don't have time.
-Abe or George, whatever....
1395
01:25:21,858 --> 01:25:22,847
Listen, George--
1396
01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:28,494
Run! Run!
1397
01:25:31,367 --> 01:25:33,062
He's going to kill him!
1398
01:25:33,302 --> 01:25:34,929
Bring the casket down here quick!
1399
01:25:35,138 --> 01:25:36,332
Come on, this way!
1400
01:25:43,179 --> 01:25:44,476
Onward!
1401
01:26:27,757 --> 01:26:29,019
This is my brewery.
1402
01:26:29,225 --> 01:26:31,785
l earned it!
You wanted to be in beer?
1403
01:26:31,994 --> 01:26:33,188
Welcome to the business.
1404
01:26:33,596 --> 01:26:37,327
Dibbsy, l won't tell the police
you tried to kill me!
1405
01:26:37,533 --> 01:26:38,693
The name is Mr. Dibbs!
1406
01:26:42,538 --> 01:26:43,402
Help!
1407
01:26:48,911 --> 01:26:50,401
Eddie, l'm down here!
1408
01:26:53,483 --> 01:26:54,814
Oh, God!
1409
01:27:22,445 --> 01:27:23,776
Get the valve!
1410
01:27:47,170 --> 01:27:50,799
Will somebody please tell me
what's going on?
1411
01:28:03,119 --> 01:28:04,746
Boy, that was good beer!
1412
01:28:05,621 --> 01:28:06,883
Oh, honey!
1413
01:28:10,560 --> 01:28:11,686
Where's Dibbsy?
1414
01:28:12,695 --> 01:28:13,855
Guard!
1415
01:28:14,697 --> 01:28:15,857
Get him out.
1416
01:28:20,603 --> 01:28:21,729
He's not Fielding.
1417
01:28:21,938 --> 01:28:24,133
He's a liar.
The man's a liar.
1418
01:28:25,675 --> 01:28:29,372
lf you lie about this, you'll be
lying for the rest of your life!
1419
01:28:29,812 --> 01:28:31,074
Liar!
1420
01:28:37,086 --> 01:28:41,352
lf l don't tell the truth right now,
will you ever believe me again?
1421
01:28:43,326 --> 01:28:44,850
l love you, George.
1422
01:28:48,097 --> 01:28:49,689
Walk like a man, George.
1423
01:28:52,768 --> 01:28:54,599
Don't do anything stupid!
1424
01:28:55,004 --> 01:28:56,733
We're pissing in tall cotton.
1425
01:28:59,675 --> 01:29:01,233
Sorry, everybody.
1426
01:29:02,245 --> 01:29:03,769
l want to tell you something.
1427
01:29:04,280 --> 01:29:07,147
Mr. Dibbs was telling the truth
a little while ago.
1428
01:29:08,651 --> 01:29:10,516
l am a pathological liar.
1429
01:29:10,720 --> 01:29:14,212
l spent the last three years
of my life in a sanitarium.
1430
01:29:14,423 --> 01:29:15,890
Shit, l'm broke.
1431
01:29:16,592 --> 01:29:21,359
l'm a Volvo dealer,
and my name happens to be George.
1432
01:29:21,564 --> 01:29:25,728
-This Fielding's a beaut.
-George. Get used to George.
1433
01:29:25,935 --> 01:29:28,961
George Washington,
as a matter of fact.
1434
01:29:30,006 --> 01:29:33,203
Hey, everybody!
Take the rest of the day off.
1435
01:29:33,843 --> 01:29:37,074
And forget about that five-percent
raise when you come back.
1436
01:29:37,580 --> 01:29:39,548
lt'll be a ten-percent raise.
1437
01:29:57,466 --> 01:30:00,663
Stop fucking around!
Okay, smile.
1438
01:30:00,870 --> 01:30:03,998
A little more. Great!
1439
01:30:15,418 --> 01:30:16,942
Can l have that card?
1440
01:30:17,153 --> 01:30:19,246
Thank you.
And l need your lipstick.
1441
01:30:19,689 --> 01:30:22,920
l don't want to take a picture
with no lipstick!
1442
01:30:23,592 --> 01:30:24,854
You'll like this one.
1443
01:30:25,061 --> 01:30:26,551
l don't want no lipstick.
1444
01:30:26,762 --> 01:30:30,357
They'll put me in a magazine.
They'll take pictures.
1445
01:30:35,271 --> 01:30:36,898
Hey, what are you doing?
1446
01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:39,273
l don't like to be touched!
1447
01:30:39,475 --> 01:30:41,500
Just keep your hands off!
1448
01:30:42,011 --> 01:30:43,706
What's wrong with you?
1449
01:34:29,638 --> 01:34:33,039
Don't ever caII my friend
a shithead again, okay?
106273
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