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0
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,385
[Exhales]
1
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:24,980
Hey, you see this?
2
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,184
I won this
back in high school.
3
00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,625
That's right.
It was for football.
4
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,993
America, Bernie Mac
was a fullback.
5
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,066
I made All-State.
6
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,500
I was B.M.O. C...
Big Mac On Campus.
7
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,572
Man, I remember
how proud Big Mama was...
8
00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,640
when I brought this home.
9
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,437
She made a big fuss.
I never will forget.
10
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,172
See, that's why I created
the "Mac Hall of Fame."
11
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,374
A place where those ungrateful,
lazy, unmotivated kids...
12
00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,883
can show some of their
greatest achievements.
13
00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,422
Give them some pride,
like Big Mama gave me.
14
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,650
Take a look.
15
00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,749
I was rough, boy. Pow!
16
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,057
[Grunts, Laughs]
17
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:07,930
Look at that,
citizenship award.
18
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,229
That look real nice.
Ain't that somethin', baby?
19
00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,804
Sure is.
Congratulations, baby.
20
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,965
We're so proud of you.
21
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,238
- I'm proud of me too.
- [Laughs] Way to go, sis.
22
00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,904
No big deal.
It's just a piece of paper.
23
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,675
It's not like she really
won anything.
24
00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:25,774
You know, you got a real big
mouth on you, son.
25
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,183
Do I see your name
up here on anything?
26
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,256
- No.
- I didn't think so.
27
00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,621
Baby girl,
congratulations.
28
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:37,184
You have now been officially inducted
into the Mac Hall of Fame.
29
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:40,266
[Cheering]
30
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,798
Jordan, what are you doin'
in here?
31
00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,104
What's that jar there for?
32
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:55,613
I put it there. Now there's something
of mine in the Mac Hall of Fame too.
33
00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:00,052
That looks like a hairy
caterpillar.
34
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,452
That's a Manduca sexta.
It's rare.
35
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,356
Boy, you gotta stop
being so weird.
36
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,293
You don't want to be known
as the "Crazy Bug Boy."
37
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,694
The strange kid in the playground
that eats bugs.
38
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,960
- I don't eat them.
- It's just a matter of time.
39
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:19,596
Look, Jordan...
Son, the Mac Hall of Fame...
40
00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,901
is a shrine for achievement.
41
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:25,034
It's for the best,
the strongest...
42
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,477
the fastest, the most.
43
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,639
Do you understand that,
Jordan?
44
00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,808
Okay.
45
00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,483
Bugs.
46
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,956
The Mac Hall of Fame
is for achievements.
47
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:44,257
If bugs are an achievement, then the kitchen
in the projects was crawling with achievement.
48
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,389
Tell me what to put
in the Hall of Fame!
49
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,592
Bugs?
Why do I bother?
50
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,760
I'm raising the bug-boy.
51
00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:55,000
America,
I've depressed myself.
52
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,099
Hi, Uncle Bernie,
my report card.
53
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,510
- Look it says, "the most improved in gym."
- Is that right? Let me see.
54
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,308
Jordan, two D's and a C.
That's awful.
55
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,513
Yeah, but it's still
the most.
56
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,051
It also says
the most disruptive.
57
00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,889
- That's still the "most."
- That's not what I meant.
58
00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:18,293
You shouldn't have said it
if you don't mean it.
59
00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,525
You're not being
the "most" clear.
60
00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:24,228
- Wh-Who you talking to now?
- [Yelling]
61
00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:27,033
Congratulations,
Jordan.
62
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,335
Now, you gonna get
the "most" punishment.
63
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:32,502
You stay in there
and be the "most" quiet.
64
00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:36,206
[Slams]
65
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,079
[Bell Ringing]
66
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,580
- I have a trophy.
- How'd you get it?
67
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,657
I was on the football team.
68
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,918
I thought you guys
stunk last year.
69
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,995
We did, but you get a trophy
just for being on the team.
70
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,064
You do?
71
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,099
Weren't you afraid
of getting hurt?
72
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,293
- I hardly ever played.
- Hmm.
73
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,836
[Jordan] Guess what,
Uncle Bernie?
74
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,566
Son, what did I tell you
about the rules, Jordan?
75
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:05,576
I'm not supposed to talk to you unless
the house is on fire or I'm bringing you a beer.
76
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,478
[Sniffs]
I don't smell no smoke, and I don't see no foam.
77
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,278
[Sighs]
Okay.
78
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:16,219
I just wanted you to sign
this permission slip for football.
79
00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:20,281
Football? Jordan,
I didn't even know you liked football.
80
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,588
Yeah, I love it!
I would've played last year...
81
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:25,687
but my asthma flared up,
and the year before, I had hives...
82
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:27,891
and the year before that
they thought I had polio.
83
00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,969
But, this year I feel great.
84
00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:32,367
- Mm. Your heart all right?
- Mm-hmm.
85
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,066
- You feel great, huh, son?
- Yeah.
86
00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:37,665
Football...
Ain't that somethin'.
87
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,406
All right, how about me and you
go on outside and have a little catch.
88
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,448
- Here.
- But what about your stories?
89
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,985
I'm not thinkin' about stories.
This's more important. Come on, Jordan.
90
00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:51,523
- I was getting a little worried
about you eating those bugs.
- I don't eat 'em.
91
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,252
- [Bernie] I'd turn around,
you had one in your mouth.
- I didn't.
92
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,624
- You were bugging me.
- No, l... [Groans]
93
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,593
[Bernie]
You know what, Jordan?
94
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,330
There are two firsts to come
in every man's life...
95
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,906
that will stay with them
until the day they die.
96
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:11,534
One, you're too young
to hear right now.
97
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,512
Number two, is having your
official football uniform.
98
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,606
Look at this.
99
00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,947
Your practice jersey...
100
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:23,989
game jersey,
shoulder pads...
101
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,786
and your helmet.
102
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:31,887
- I'm gonna win a trophy.
- That's the attitude, Jordan.
103
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,325
Now, hold on. Now, that's the most
important thing...
104
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,461
you'll receive in your young life
right now.
105
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,732
That's your official cup.
106
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,808
- You drink out of it?
- No, no.
107
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,877
Don't put that
on your mouth, son. No.
108
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,070
Y-Y-You wear that
to protect your pebbles.
109
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,343
- Your pebbles?
- Yeah, your mule.
110
00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,442
- Oh!
- Your secret weapon.
111
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:57,080
- I gotta keep my stuff safe.
- That's right. That's right.
112
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,159
- Family jewels, boy, you're a Mac.
- [Grunts] You know what?
113
00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:03,387
- Hmm?
- Last year I wouldn't have needed it.
114
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,760
Let's move on.
115
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,634
- Uncle Bernie says hurry up.
- I'll be right there.
116
00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:16,106
- I have to get this stain out.
- But won't it get dirty when you play?
117
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,177
I'm not gonna play.
118
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,677
I'm just gonna be on the team
and sit on the bench.
119
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,476
But don't you
wanna win a trophy?
120
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,143
Everyone on the team
gets a trophy.
121
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,277
And they're bigger
than certificates.
122
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,754
Hey, yo, yo,
come on, man.
123
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,087
You don't wanna be late
for the first game.
124
00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,490
Come on. Don't worry about that.
Come on, baby girl.
125
00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,688
Man, look here.
You gonna do great, man.
126
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,459
[Whistle Blowing]
127
00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,971
Set, set, hut.
128
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,544
- Damn, that boy is good. Look at that.
- Best on the team.
129
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,707
[Bernie] Ooh!
He's sweet!
130
00:06:56,816 --> 00:07:00,149
Yes! Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby!
131
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,847
[Cheering]
132
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,219
Okay, okay, okay.
133
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,554
- All right. Okay. Mr. Mac, please.
- Okay.
134
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:12,029
Okay, defense:
Nagel, Shores, Benedict, Richter.
135
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,531
Uh, who hasn't played yet?
Jordan.
136
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,535
- Byron hasn't gone in yet.
- All right, Byron. Get in there.
137
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,605
Uh, Jordan...
he haven't gone in either.
138
00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:21,570
- All right, Jordan. Get in there.
- Yeah!
139
00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,404
Three and out, baby!
Three and out!
140
00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,104
Three and out, baby.
You're a Mac.
141
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,021
Set, hut.
142
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,019
[Groans]
143
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,689
- [Cheering]
- [Whistle Blows]
144
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:50,201
Okay, Jordan, Byron,
Richter, out.
145
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,635
Jordan, Jordan. Listen, listen.
Don't worry about it.
146
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:55,434
It's a long season.
You'll find your game. You a Mac.
147
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:58,806
The boy is bad.
I mean unskilled.
148
00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:03,314
Not even raw talent.
I did tell you he's my sister's kid right?
149
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,407
Yeah, y'�ll, y'�ll know the story.
You know, she's on crack.
150
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:09,716
Mm. Just take a little time.
He might be a late bloomer.
151
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:14,350
Rome wasn't built overnight.
He might... be a computer whiz.
152
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:17,224
Y-You never know.
He could be president.
153
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,423
He might get a sex change
or something, you know.
154
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:23,559
I'll still be there to support him.
I did tell you he's my sister's kid, right?
155
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,069
First Negro president.
You go, boy.
156
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,034
[Cheering]
157
00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,916
Down, set, hut.
158
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,687
- [Grunting]
- [Whistle Blows]
159
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,884
- [Bernie] Yeah! Yes, sir!
- Your son is great.
160
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,224
- Thank you, baby.
- Your son? That's my son?
161
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,388
That's what I meant.
I didn't mean no harm.
162
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,591
Man, I tell you one thing.
Your son is fearless.
163
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,362
- You know, he takes after his old man.
- You play a little football?
164
00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,803
- Just a little.
- Well, I know one thing.
165
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,932
That boy probably gonna bring us
a championship.
166
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,272
Get a trophy for sure.
167
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,710
Well, all the kids get trophies
just for being on the team.
168
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,940
- They all get trophies?
- Uh-huh.
169
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,574
What kind of mess is that?
Brother, I got my own Mac Hall of Fame.
170
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,880
The only trophy gonna be
on there is one you earn.
171
00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,348
You have your own
hall of fame?
172
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,723
That's right. Obviously, you ain't played
enough football to understand.
173
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:26,195
Well, actually, I have played
a fair amount of organized ball.
174
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,961
What? Pop Warner?
Junior high?
175
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:32,231
- [Laughs]
- No, uh, try Super Bowl M.V.P.
176
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,705
- You? Damn!
- Yeah.
177
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:39,141
- Brother, that's sweet.
- It is sweet, isn't it?
178
00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,273
Coach, can I go back in?
179
00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:48,046
[Sighs]
All right. Go in for Park.
180
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,617
[Bernie]
Come on, baby. Come on, baby.
181
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,987
- [Heart Beating]
- [Bernie's Voice] Fearless.
182
00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,067
Fearless.
183
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,329
Championship.
184
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,099
Hut.
185
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:12,508
[Bernie]
Fearless. Fearless.
186
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,114
[Coach]
Jordan, you okay?
187
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,347
Jordan, Jordan,
Jordan.
188
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,788
Jordan, wake up.
You okay?
189
00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:29,850
- Jordan, Jordan.
- Jordan, that was one hell of a hit there, son.
190
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,453
That was sweet.
191
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,556
You're a Mac. Get up.
192
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,829
Come on, son.
193
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:41,065
[Cheering]
194
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,437
- Break!
- [All] Break!
195
00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,847
?? [Soul]
196
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,761
?? [Continues]
197
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,112
?? [Ends]
198
00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:32,122
Superstar.
Baby, listen.
199
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,419
Let me tell y'�ll.
Tell them the story again.
200
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,586
- Go ahead.
- Again?
201
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,187
- Bernie, we heard it three times.
- I know, sweetheart...
202
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,562
but every time we tell it,
we learn somethin' different.
203
00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,635
Go ahead, son.
Tell the story.
204
00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,705
Tell 'em how the boy was barreling
down at you, comin' straight at you.
205
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,865
- You know the story. Tell it. Listen, listen.
- Okay.
206
00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:51,272
So, the other kid's barreling
down at me with the ball.
207
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,336
I knew if I didn't do somethin',
he was gonna score, so I went into action.
208
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,541
Doggone! I love this part.
Listen.
209
00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:01,552
So, he was comin' at me, and I threw myself
at him with all my might.
210
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,282
Aw, baby, he shot out
like a ballistic missile.
211
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,053
I mean he looked almost
like a-a-a human torpedo.
212
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,128
- [Laughs] Bernie, stop exaggerating.
- No, no, baby.
213
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,720
I'm not. I'm serious. That's what
the audience called him, Nessa.
214
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:16,063
They called him "T orpedo."
He hit the boy so hard, I'm tellin' you...
215
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:19,626
The boy got up and he was talkin' in tongues.
[Speaking In Tongues]
216
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,707
I'm not kidding you.
217
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,368
The boy was so dizzy, he got up and said,
"Where'd he go, George?"
218
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,003
I'll tell you where he went.
He went all the way into the end zone.
219
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,811
- He fumbled.
- No. Sir, sir, you forced a fumble.
220
00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,681
You hit that boy so hard,
he dropped the ball...
221
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,154
and one of your teammates came and scooped
the ball up and ran in the end zone.
222
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,384
Touchdown!
223
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,551
Yea!
224
00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:47,162
I didn't get to see it though,
because I was too busy trying to breathe.
225
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,757
- Uh, you were what?
- Too busy trying to breathe.
226
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:54,897
Let me tell you somethin'. T orpedo,
it was the greatest thing I ever seen.
227
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:59,706
- Bernie, why couldn't he breathe?
- He's breathing now. He's fine.
228
00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,871
He just got the wind
knocked out of him.
229
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,882
- He has asthma.
- Then, he should be used to not breathing.
230
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,714
The point I'm trying to make is
it's all about fun.
231
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,288
They don't understand, son.
They don't understand.
232
00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,448
Uncle Bernie,
can I have another piece of cake?
233
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:16,585
Sir. Torpedo. You can have
anything you want.
234
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:20,153
- Here. Go ahead, take mine.
- [Jordan] Oh.
235
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,030
I'm so proud of you, Jordan.
Baby, you should have seen...
236
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,160
I wanna get back
to the breathing.
237
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,506
The Torpedo!
I knew he had it in him.
238
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,739
He's a Mac.
He got that Mac strength.
239
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,544
Maybe I should
adopt him legally.
240
00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:44,181
Nah, I'll wait to see
if they win the championship.
241
00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,315
[Bernie]
Good night, baby.
242
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:50,418
Honey,
I'm worried aboutJordan.
243
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:54,556
He was limping today, and I'm scared
he's really gonna get hurt.
244
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,568
Wanda, you're not becoming
one of those overprotective parents...
245
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,638
afraid to let their kid
play football?
246
00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:02,969
- Baby, come on.
- No, Bernie, I love football.
247
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,407
I grew up with it.
All of my brothers played football...
248
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,069
my boyfriends...
249
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,875
In college I dated
an All-State safety.
250
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,007
In fact, we almost
got married and... -
251
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:16,213
- Get to the meat, Wanda.
- I thinkJordan is doing this for you.
252
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:19,553
He knows you love football.
He's trying to impress you.
253
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,024
He wants your approval
even if it hurts him.
254
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,926
Come on, Wanda.
Come on.
255
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,194
Honestly speaking, if I felt
that boy was in any kind of harm's way...
256
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,861
- Wanda, I would pull him.
- You promise?
257
00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,531
I swear.
258
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,973
And I ain't lying, America.
I would.
259
00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,545
And besides,
nothing's gonna happen.
260
00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:43,171
And even if it did,
God forbid, you know...
261
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,250
it's not like it's
the end of the world.
262
00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:48,787
The boy is young.
He got plenty of time to heal...
263
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,755
and they're doing tremendous things
with stem cells these days.
264
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,957
Look, Jordan,
you're kinda banged up.
265
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,394
Maybe you need
to take it easy tomorrow.
266
00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,796
But, Uncle Bernie,
I gotta be the Torpedo.
267
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,667
If we win tomorrow,
we're going to the division finals.
268
00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:09,400
If I get a championship trophy, would you
put it up in the Mac Hall of Fame?
269
00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,499
Championship trophy?
270
00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:15,478
Boy, are you kidding? Jordan,
that'd be the proudest day of my life.
271
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,175
All right, then,
Torpedo.
272
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,582
You need anything?
Can I get you ice cream?
273
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,679
Ow, no.
Just maybe some more ice.
274
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,554
What's wrong, Jordan?
Is it your rib?
275
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,753
Did you crack a rib?
276
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,690
Down, set, hut!
277
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,663
- [Whistle Blows]
- Yes, sir!
278
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,297
[Laughs]
You got torpedoed!
279
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,434
Damn right, baby.
Talkin' about a Mac attack.
280
00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:49,139
- That looks too violent. He's gonna get hurt.
- Now, Wanda, please.
281
00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,273
- You sound irritated.
- No, I'm not, baby.
282
00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:55,114
He's gonna be all right. He's got shoulder pads,
got a helmet on, knee pads.
283
00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,950
Baby...
Man, would you tell her?
284
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,355
- Please?
- [Whistle Blows]
285
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,321
[Woman]
Come on, you guys! Yeah!
286
00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,894
Down, set, hut.
287
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,031
[Grunts]
288
00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,903
- [Whistle Blows]
- [Cheering]
289
00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:24,541
All right, baby.
We'll pull him.
290
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,244
Did I hear you correctly,
Mr. Mac?
291
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:30,948
- You're pulling the Torpedo?
- Look, Father, I have to, man.
292
00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:35,186
Jordan is getting banged up out there. I gotta
pull him at least for the rest of the game.
293
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:38,855
Mr. Mac,
sacrifice is a virtue.
294
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,762
If you recall, Abraham was ready
to snuff his own son.
295
00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,994
This boy's just your nephew.
296
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:48,870
Oh...
Look, stay right here.
297
00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,873
Pull him.
298
00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,776
- What are you talking about? He's fine. He's...
- Coach, pull him.
299
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:59,317
- We need him now.
- Pull him.
300
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:05,015
- Jordan, come on out.
- They're pulling me! They're pulling me!
301
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:09,458
You're pullin' him?
Be strong, son.
302
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,529
You're a trip.
303
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,326
[Chanting]
Torpedo! Torpedo!
304
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:20,867
Mr. Mac, I understand your reasons
for pulling the boy...
305
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,409
but if we hold them here,
Damien Elementary goes to the championship.
306
00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:27,737
Father,
I know what you're saying.
307
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:30,212
But I can't afford Jordan to get hurt.
I can't.
308
00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,011
- My hands are tied.
- Mr. Mac...
309
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,145
Pontius Pilate suffered
a similar dilemma...
310
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:41,090
- [Crowd] Tor-pe-do!
- When the mob cried out,
"Crucify him, crucify him."
311
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,923
Had he not given the people
what they wanted...
312
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:47,157
we wouldn't have
a flippin' religion.
313
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,234
Take his example,
Mr. Mac.
314
00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:52,064
Give the people
what they want.
315
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,402
What's it going to be,
Mr. Mac?
316
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:58,271
I don't know, Father.
317
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,642
I can't believe
you're even considering this.
318
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,806
What about
the boy's health?
319
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,283
- But it's the championship game.
- It is elementary school.
320
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:10,082
This is Damien.
321
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,316
[Crowd]
Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do!
322
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,688
- [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do!
- I don't know.
323
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,784
I don't know.
I don't know what to do.
324
00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,886
I mean, I want 'em
to win the game...
325
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,329
but it would kill me
if the boy got hurt.
326
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,869
- [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do!
- But this's not about me.
327
00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,938
[Crowd]
Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do!
328
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,269
- Put him in.
- [Gasps]
329
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,275
Load the Torpedo!
330
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,470
[Coach] All right, all right,
Jordan, come on in.
331
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,639
Come on, come on, come on.
Out, John, out, out.
332
00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,773
All right,
all right guys. Listen.
333
00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,852
They get
this extra point...
334
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,046
they tie the score and force us
into overtime.
335
00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,123
Our only hope
is to block the kick.
336
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,193
Torpedo,
I'm counting on you!
337
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,318
- Ready!
- [Players] Break!
338
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:53,023
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go!
339
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,295
- ?? [Soul]
- Down, set.
340
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,869
Hut!
341
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,570
?? [Ends]
342
00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:10,910
- [Crowd Groans]
- Oh, my Lord. C-Come on, baby.
343
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,179
I got him. Get back.
I'll go get him.
344
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,179
- [Groaning]
- Jordan? Son, son, you all right?
345
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:22,158
- My pebbles.
- Your pebbles?
346
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:26,857
[Groans]
Nut shot, right pocket.
347
00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,365
Even though it didn't happen to me,
I can still feel it.
348
00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,629
Guys, you know
what I'm talking about.
349
00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,001
Just thinking about it makes you cringe.
[Groans]
350
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,506
And women,
don't give me that...
351
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:39,168
"You don't know what pain is.
We give birth."
352
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:43,476
Hmph! You go get hit in your pebbles
and you come back and talk to Bernie Mac.
353
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:46,380
[Groans]
I gotta go walk it off.
354
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,147
Excuse me.
[Grunts]
355
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,788
- Come on, son. Get up here. Get up.
- [Groaning]
356
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:57,123
- [Cheering]
- [Jordan Groaning]
357
00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,356
[Man]
Torpedo!
358
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:04,158
[Dog Barking On TV]
359
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,204
Hey, man.
What ya watching?
360
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,831
- Scooby-Doo.
- Yeah?
361
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,207
Look at old Scrappy-Doo out there.
I like that little dog.
362
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,248
Jordan, let me just cut this off
one minute, all right?
363
00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:24,750
Son, I got some bad news
to tell you.
364
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,718
Damien lost
the championship game today.
365
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,490
Don't feel bad, son.
They would have won if you were there.
366
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,623
So you ough to feel honored.
367
00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,464
That's how important
the Torpedo is to the team.
368
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,834
Now, I'm never gonna
get my trophy.
369
00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:45,638
- Yes, you are.
- What? That stupid team trophy?
370
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,008
Doesn't even count,
you said.
371
00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,139
You said it doesn't even sound worthy
of the Mac Hall of Fame.
372
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,185
Don't pay no attention to what I be sayin'.
You know I'm not well.
373
00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:57,255
I say stupid things all the time
that hurt people.
374
00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:00,792
And, besides, it's not even
about the team trophy.
375
00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,985
It's a special award
from your teammates.
376
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,495
Jordan...
377
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,301
congratulations.
378
00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,871
I'm really proud of you.
379
00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:17,373
?? [Soul]
380
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,659
?? [Ends]
381
00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,089
You know your line?
382
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,363
No, I thought it was yours first.
383
00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,370
- Yeah, well, do...
- Damn.
384
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,770
I thought he was gonna mention the trophy.
385
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,934
Damn, man, I messed the line up.
386
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,444
Uh, did I step on the line
when I first came out too?
387
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:58,175
Damn.
388
00:21:58,283 --> 00:22:02,083
That's nice. Man, that's real nice.
389
00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:06,180
Somebody'll bust your head, man.
390
00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,486
How long do you want me
to stay there on that...
31122
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