All language subtitles for the.bernie.mac.show.112.dvdrip.subs-osiris

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,385 [Exhales] 1 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:24,980 Hey, you see this? 2 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,184 I won this back in high school. 3 00:00:27,293 --> 00:00:29,625 That's right. It was for football. 4 00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:31,993 America, Bernie Mac was a fullback. 5 00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:34,066 I made All-State. 6 00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:37,500 I was B.M.O. C... Big Mac On Campus. 7 00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,572 Man, I remember how proud Big Mama was... 8 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:41,640 when I brought this home. 9 00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:44,437 She made a big fuss. I never will forget. 10 00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,172 See, that's why I created the "Mac Hall of Fame." 11 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,374 A place where those ungrateful, lazy, unmotivated kids... 12 00:00:50,483 --> 00:00:52,883 can show some of their greatest achievements. 13 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,422 Give them some pride, like Big Mama gave me. 14 00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:58,650 Take a look. 15 00:00:58,758 --> 00:01:00,749 I was rough, boy. Pow! 16 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:04,057 [Grunts, Laughs] 17 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:07,930 Look at that, citizenship award. 18 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,229 That look real nice. Ain't that somethin', baby? 19 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,804 Sure is. Congratulations, baby. 20 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,965 We're so proud of you. 21 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,238 - I'm proud of me too. - [Laughs] Way to go, sis. 22 00:01:18,344 --> 00:01:20,904 No big deal. It's just a piece of paper. 23 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:22,675 It's not like she really won anything. 24 00:01:22,782 --> 00:01:25,774 You know, you got a real big mouth on you, son. 25 00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:28,183 Do I see your name up here on anything? 26 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,256 - No. - I didn't think so. 27 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:33,621 Baby girl, congratulations. 28 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:37,184 You have now been officially inducted into the Mac Hall of Fame. 29 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:40,266 [Cheering] 30 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,798 Jordan, what are you doin' in here? 31 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:52,104 What's that jar there for? 32 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:55,613 I put it there. Now there's something of mine in the Mac Hall of Fame too. 33 00:01:58,084 --> 00:02:00,052 That looks like a hairy caterpillar. 34 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:03,452 That's a Manduca sexta. It's rare. 35 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,356 Boy, you gotta stop being so weird. 36 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,293 You don't want to be known as the "Crazy Bug Boy." 37 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,694 The strange kid in the playground that eats bugs. 38 00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,960 - I don't eat them. - It's just a matter of time. 39 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:19,596 Look, Jordan... Son, the Mac Hall of Fame... 40 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,901 is a shrine for achievement. 41 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:25,034 It's for the best, the strongest... 42 00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,477 the fastest, the most. 43 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:29,639 Do you understand that, Jordan? 44 00:02:29,749 --> 00:02:31,808 Okay. 45 00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,483 Bugs. 46 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,956 The Mac Hall of Fame is for achievements. 47 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:44,257 If bugs are an achievement, then the kitchen in the projects was crawling with achievement. 48 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,389 Tell me what to put in the Hall of Fame! 49 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,592 Bugs? Why do I bother? 50 00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,760 I'm raising the bug-boy. 51 00:02:50,870 --> 00:02:55,000 America, I've depressed myself. 52 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,099 Hi, Uncle Bernie, my report card. 53 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,510 - Look it says, "the most improved in gym." - Is that right? Let me see. 54 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,308 Jordan, two D's and a C. That's awful. 55 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,513 Yeah, but it's still the most. 56 00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,051 It also says the most disruptive. 57 00:03:13,159 --> 00:03:15,889 - That's still the "most." - That's not what I meant. 58 00:03:15,995 --> 00:03:18,293 You shouldn't have said it if you don't mean it. 59 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:20,525 You're not being the "most" clear. 60 00:03:20,633 --> 00:03:24,228 - Wh-Who you talking to now? - [Yelling] 61 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:27,033 Congratulations, Jordan. 62 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,335 Now, you gonna get the "most" punishment. 63 00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:32,502 You stay in there and be the "most" quiet. 64 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:36,206 [Slams] 65 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,079 [Bell Ringing] 66 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:42,580 - I have a trophy. - How'd you get it? 67 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,657 I was on the football team. 68 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:46,918 I thought you guys stunk last year. 69 00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:49,995 We did, but you get a trophy just for being on the team. 70 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,064 You do? 71 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:54,099 Weren't you afraid of getting hurt? 72 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,293 - I hardly ever played. - Hmm. 73 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,836 [Jordan] Guess what, Uncle Bernie? 74 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:01,566 Son, what did I tell you about the rules, Jordan? 75 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:05,576 I'm not supposed to talk to you unless the house is on fire or I'm bringing you a beer. 76 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:09,478 [Sniffs] I don't smell no smoke, and I don't see no foam. 77 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:12,278 [Sighs] Okay. 78 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:16,219 I just wanted you to sign this permission slip for football. 79 00:04:16,322 --> 00:04:20,281 Football? Jordan, I didn't even know you liked football. 80 00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:22,588 Yeah, I love it! I would've played last year... 81 00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:25,687 but my asthma flared up, and the year before, I had hives... 82 00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:27,891 and the year before that they thought I had polio. 83 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:29,969 But, this year I feel great. 84 00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:32,367 - Mm. Your heart all right? - Mm-hmm. 85 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:35,066 - You feel great, huh, son? - Yeah. 86 00:04:35,174 --> 00:04:37,665 Football... Ain't that somethin'. 87 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,406 All right, how about me and you go on outside and have a little catch. 88 00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,448 - Here. - But what about your stories? 89 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:46,985 I'm not thinkin' about stories. This's more important. Come on, Jordan. 90 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:51,523 - I was getting a little worried about you eating those bugs. - I don't eat 'em. 91 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,252 - [Bernie] I'd turn around, you had one in your mouth. - I didn't. 92 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,624 - You were bugging me. - No, l... [Groans] 93 00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,593 [Bernie] You know what, Jordan? 94 00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:05,330 There are two firsts to come in every man's life... 95 00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:07,906 that will stay with them until the day they die. 96 00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:11,534 One, you're too young to hear right now. 97 00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:15,512 Number two, is having your official football uniform. 98 00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:17,606 Look at this. 99 00:05:17,717 --> 00:05:19,947 Your practice jersey... 100 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:23,989 game jersey, shoulder pads... 101 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,786 and your helmet. 102 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:31,887 - I'm gonna win a trophy. - That's the attitude, Jordan. 103 00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,325 Now, hold on. Now, that's the most important thing... 104 00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:38,461 you'll receive in your young life right now. 105 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,732 That's your official cup. 106 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,808 - You drink out of it? - No, no. 107 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,877 Don't put that on your mouth, son. No. 108 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,070 Y-Y-You wear that to protect your pebbles. 109 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,343 - Your pebbles? - Yeah, your mule. 110 00:05:50,450 --> 00:05:53,442 - Oh! - Your secret weapon. 111 00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:57,080 - I gotta keep my stuff safe. - That's right. That's right. 112 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,159 - Family jewels, boy, you're a Mac. - [Grunts] You know what? 113 00:06:00,259 --> 00:06:03,387 - Hmm? - Last year I wouldn't have needed it. 114 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,760 Let's move on. 115 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,634 - Uncle Bernie says hurry up. - I'll be right there. 116 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:16,106 - I have to get this stain out. - But won't it get dirty when you play? 117 00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,177 I'm not gonna play. 118 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,677 I'm just gonna be on the team and sit on the bench. 119 00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:23,476 But don't you wanna win a trophy? 120 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:26,143 Everyone on the team gets a trophy. 121 00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,277 And they're bigger than certificates. 122 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,754 Hey, yo, yo, come on, man. 123 00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,087 You don't wanna be late for the first game. 124 00:06:33,192 --> 00:06:35,490 Come on. Don't worry about that. Come on, baby girl. 125 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:37,688 Man, look here. You gonna do great, man. 126 00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:40,459 [Whistle Blowing] 127 00:06:44,003 --> 00:06:45,971 Set, set, hut. 128 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,544 - Damn, that boy is good. Look at that. - Best on the team. 129 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,707 [Bernie] Ooh! He's sweet! 130 00:06:56,816 --> 00:07:00,149 Yes! Yeah, baby! Yeah, baby! 131 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,847 [Cheering] 132 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,219 Okay, okay, okay. 133 00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,554 - All right. Okay. Mr. Mac, please. - Okay. 134 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:12,029 Okay, defense: Nagel, Shores, Benedict, Richter. 135 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,531 Uh, who hasn't played yet? Jordan. 136 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,535 - Byron hasn't gone in yet. - All right, Byron. Get in there. 137 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,605 Uh, Jordan... he haven't gone in either. 138 00:07:19,705 --> 00:07:21,570 - All right, Jordan. Get in there. - Yeah! 139 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:24,404 Three and out, baby! Three and out! 140 00:07:24,510 --> 00:07:27,104 Three and out, baby. You're a Mac. 141 00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:38,021 Set, hut. 142 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,019 [Groans] 143 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,689 - [Cheering] - [Whistle Blows] 144 00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:50,201 Okay, Jordan, Byron, Richter, out. 145 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,635 Jordan, Jordan. Listen, listen. Don't worry about it. 146 00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:55,434 It's a long season. You'll find your game. You a Mac. 147 00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:58,806 The boy is bad. I mean unskilled. 148 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:03,314 Not even raw talent. I did tell you he's my sister's kid right? 149 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:05,407 Yeah, y'�ll, y'�ll know the story. You know, she's on crack. 150 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:09,716 Mm. Just take a little time. He might be a late bloomer. 151 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:14,350 Rome wasn't built overnight. He might... be a computer whiz. 152 00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:17,224 Y-You never know. He could be president. 153 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,423 He might get a sex change or something, you know. 154 00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:23,559 I'll still be there to support him. I did tell you he's my sister's kid, right? 155 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:26,069 First Negro president. You go, boy. 156 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,034 [Cheering] 157 00:08:36,015 --> 00:08:38,916 Down, set, hut. 158 00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:44,687 - [Grunting] - [Whistle Blows] 159 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,884 - [Bernie] Yeah! Yes, sir! - Your son is great. 160 00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,224 - Thank you, baby. - Your son? That's my son? 161 00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:52,388 That's what I meant. I didn't mean no harm. 162 00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:54,591 Man, I tell you one thing. Your son is fearless. 163 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,362 - You know, he takes after his old man. - You play a little football? 164 00:08:57,470 --> 00:09:00,803 - Just a little. - Well, I know one thing. 165 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,932 That boy probably gonna bring us a championship. 166 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,272 Get a trophy for sure. 167 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,710 Well, all the kids get trophies just for being on the team. 168 00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:09,940 - They all get trophies? - Uh-huh. 169 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,574 What kind of mess is that? Brother, I got my own Mac Hall of Fame. 170 00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:14,880 The only trophy gonna be on there is one you earn. 171 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:19,348 You have your own hall of fame? 172 00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:22,723 That's right. Obviously, you ain't played enough football to understand. 173 00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:26,195 Well, actually, I have played a fair amount of organized ball. 174 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,961 What? Pop Warner? Junior high? 175 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:32,231 - [Laughs] - No, uh, try Super Bowl M.V.P. 176 00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,705 - You? Damn! - Yeah. 177 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:39,141 - Brother, that's sweet. - It is sweet, isn't it? 178 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:45,273 Coach, can I go back in? 179 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:48,046 [Sighs] All right. Go in for Park. 180 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,617 [Bernie] Come on, baby. Come on, baby. 181 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,987 - [Heart Beating] - [Bernie's Voice] Fearless. 182 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,067 Fearless. 183 00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,329 Championship. 184 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,099 Hut. 185 00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:12,508 [Bernie] Fearless. Fearless. 186 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:21,114 [Coach] Jordan, you okay? 187 00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,347 Jordan, Jordan, Jordan. 188 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,788 Jordan, wake up. You okay? 189 00:10:25,891 --> 00:10:29,850 - Jordan, Jordan. - Jordan, that was one hell of a hit there, son. 190 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,453 That was sweet. 191 00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,556 You're a Mac. Get up. 192 00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,829 Come on, son. 193 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:41,065 [Cheering] 194 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,437 - Break! - [All] Break! 195 00:10:46,879 --> 00:10:48,847 ?? [Soul] 196 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,761 ?? [Continues] 197 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,112 ?? [Ends] 198 00:11:29,221 --> 00:11:32,122 Superstar. Baby, listen. 199 00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,419 Let me tell y'�ll. Tell them the story again. 200 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,586 - Go ahead. - Again? 201 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,187 - Bernie, we heard it three times. - I know, sweetheart... 202 00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,562 but every time we tell it, we learn somethin' different. 203 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,635 Go ahead, son. Tell the story. 204 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:46,705 Tell 'em how the boy was barreling down at you, comin' straight at you. 205 00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,865 - You know the story. Tell it. Listen, listen. - Okay. 206 00:11:48,974 --> 00:11:51,272 So, the other kid's barreling down at me with the ball. 207 00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,336 I knew if I didn't do somethin', he was gonna score, so I went into action. 208 00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,541 Doggone! I love this part. Listen. 209 00:11:57,650 --> 00:12:01,552 So, he was comin' at me, and I threw myself at him with all my might. 210 00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:04,282 Aw, baby, he shot out like a ballistic missile. 211 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:08,053 I mean he looked almost like a-a-a human torpedo. 212 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,128 - [Laughs] Bernie, stop exaggerating. - No, no, baby. 213 00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:12,720 I'm not. I'm serious. That's what the audience called him, Nessa. 214 00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:16,063 They called him "T orpedo." He hit the boy so hard, I'm tellin' you... 215 00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:19,626 The boy got up and he was talkin' in tongues. [Speaking In Tongues] 216 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,707 I'm not kidding you. 217 00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:25,368 The boy was so dizzy, he got up and said, "Where'd he go, George?" 218 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,003 I'll tell you where he went. He went all the way into the end zone. 219 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:31,811 - He fumbled. - No. Sir, sir, you forced a fumble. 220 00:12:31,917 --> 00:12:34,681 You hit that boy so hard, he dropped the ball... 221 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,154 and one of your teammates came and scooped the ball up and ran in the end zone. 222 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,384 Touchdown! 223 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,551 Yea! 224 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:47,162 I didn't get to see it though, because I was too busy trying to breathe. 225 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,757 - Uh, you were what? - Too busy trying to breathe. 226 00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:54,897 Let me tell you somethin'. T orpedo, it was the greatest thing I ever seen. 227 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:59,706 - Bernie, why couldn't he breathe? - He's breathing now. He's fine. 228 00:12:59,812 --> 00:13:01,871 He just got the wind knocked out of him. 229 00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,882 - He has asthma. - Then, he should be used to not breathing. 230 00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:07,714 The point I'm trying to make is it's all about fun. 231 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:10,288 They don't understand, son. They don't understand. 232 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:12,448 Uncle Bernie, can I have another piece of cake? 233 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:16,585 Sir. Torpedo. You can have anything you want. 234 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:20,153 - Here. Go ahead, take mine. - [Jordan] Oh. 235 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,030 I'm so proud of you, Jordan. Baby, you should have seen... 236 00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,160 I wanna get back to the breathing. 237 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:32,506 The Torpedo! I knew he had it in him. 238 00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,739 He's a Mac. He got that Mac strength. 239 00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,544 Maybe I should adopt him legally. 240 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:44,181 Nah, I'll wait to see if they win the championship. 241 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,315 [Bernie] Good night, baby. 242 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:50,418 Honey, I'm worried aboutJordan. 243 00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:54,556 He was limping today, and I'm scared he's really gonna get hurt. 244 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,568 Wanda, you're not becoming one of those overprotective parents... 245 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,638 afraid to let their kid play football? 246 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:02,969 - Baby, come on. - No, Bernie, I love football. 247 00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,407 I grew up with it. All of my brothers played football... 248 00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,069 my boyfriends... 249 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:09,875 In college I dated an All-State safety. 250 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,007 In fact, we almost got married and... - 251 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:16,213 - Get to the meat, Wanda. - I thinkJordan is doing this for you. 252 00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:19,553 He knows you love football. He's trying to impress you. 253 00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:22,024 He wants your approval even if it hurts him. 254 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,926 Come on, Wanda. Come on. 255 00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:29,194 Honestly speaking, if I felt that boy was in any kind of harm's way... 256 00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,861 - Wanda, I would pull him. - You promise? 257 00:14:31,971 --> 00:14:34,531 I swear. 258 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,973 And I ain't lying, America. I would. 259 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:40,545 And besides, nothing's gonna happen. 260 00:14:40,646 --> 00:14:43,171 And even if it did, God forbid, you know... 261 00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,250 it's not like it's the end of the world. 262 00:14:45,351 --> 00:14:48,787 The boy is young. He got plenty of time to heal... 263 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,755 and they're doing tremendous things with stem cells these days. 264 00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:56,957 Look, Jordan, you're kinda banged up. 265 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,394 Maybe you need to take it easy tomorrow. 266 00:14:59,498 --> 00:15:01,796 But, Uncle Bernie, I gotta be the Torpedo. 267 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:05,667 If we win tomorrow, we're going to the division finals. 268 00:15:05,771 --> 00:15:09,400 If I get a championship trophy, would you put it up in the Mac Hall of Fame? 269 00:15:09,508 --> 00:15:11,499 Championship trophy? 270 00:15:11,610 --> 00:15:15,478 Boy, are you kidding? Jordan, that'd be the proudest day of my life. 271 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:18,175 All right, then, Torpedo. 272 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,582 You need anything? Can I get you ice cream? 273 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:24,679 Ow, no. Just maybe some more ice. 274 00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,554 What's wrong, Jordan? Is it your rib? 275 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,753 Did you crack a rib? 276 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,690 Down, set, hut! 277 00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,663 - [Whistle Blows] - Yes, sir! 278 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,297 [Laughs] You got torpedoed! 279 00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:45,434 Damn right, baby. Talkin' about a Mac attack. 280 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:49,139 - That looks too violent. He's gonna get hurt. - Now, Wanda, please. 281 00:15:49,248 --> 00:15:51,273 - You sound irritated. - No, I'm not, baby. 282 00:15:51,383 --> 00:15:55,114 He's gonna be all right. He's got shoulder pads, got a helmet on, knee pads. 283 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:57,950 Baby... Man, would you tell her? 284 00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,355 - Please? - [Whistle Blows] 285 00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:04,321 [Woman] Come on, you guys! Yeah! 286 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,894 Down, set, hut. 287 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,031 [Grunts] 288 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,903 - [Whistle Blows] - [Cheering] 289 00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:24,541 All right, baby. We'll pull him. 290 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:27,244 Did I hear you correctly, Mr. Mac? 291 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:30,948 - You're pulling the Torpedo? - Look, Father, I have to, man. 292 00:16:31,056 --> 00:16:35,186 Jordan is getting banged up out there. I gotta pull him at least for the rest of the game. 293 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:38,855 Mr. Mac, sacrifice is a virtue. 294 00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:41,762 If you recall, Abraham was ready to snuff his own son. 295 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,994 This boy's just your nephew. 296 00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:48,870 Oh... Look, stay right here. 297 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,873 Pull him. 298 00:16:52,978 --> 00:16:55,776 - What are you talking about? He's fine. He's... - Coach, pull him. 299 00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:59,317 - We need him now. - Pull him. 300 00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:05,015 - Jordan, come on out. - They're pulling me! They're pulling me! 301 00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:09,458 You're pullin' him? Be strong, son. 302 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,529 You're a trip. 303 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:14,326 [Chanting] Torpedo! Torpedo! 304 00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:20,867 Mr. Mac, I understand your reasons for pulling the boy... 305 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,409 but if we hold them here, Damien Elementary goes to the championship. 306 00:17:25,644 --> 00:17:27,737 Father, I know what you're saying. 307 00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:30,212 But I can't afford Jordan to get hurt. I can't. 308 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,011 - My hands are tied. - Mr. Mac... 309 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,145 Pontius Pilate suffered a similar dilemma... 310 00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:41,090 - [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! - When the mob cried out, "Crucify him, crucify him." 311 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:43,923 Had he not given the people what they wanted... 312 00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:47,157 we wouldn't have a flippin' religion. 313 00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,234 Take his example, Mr. Mac. 314 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:52,064 Give the people what they want. 315 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:55,402 What's it going to be, Mr. Mac? 316 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:58,271 I don't know, Father. 317 00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:01,642 I can't believe you're even considering this. 318 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,806 What about the boy's health? 319 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:07,283 - But it's the championship game. - It is elementary school. 320 00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:10,082 This is Damien. 321 00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:12,316 [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do! 322 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,688 - [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do! - I don't know. 323 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,784 I don't know. I don't know what to do. 324 00:18:16,895 --> 00:18:18,886 I mean, I want 'em to win the game... 325 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,329 but it would kill me if the boy got hurt. 326 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:24,869 - [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do! - But this's not about me. 327 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,938 [Crowd] Tor-pe-do! Tor-pe-do! 328 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,269 - Put him in. - [Gasps] 329 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,275 Load the Torpedo! 330 00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,470 [Coach] All right, all right, Jordan, come on in. 331 00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,639 Come on, come on, come on. Out, John, out, out. 332 00:18:36,748 --> 00:18:38,773 All right, all right guys. Listen. 333 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,852 They get this extra point... 334 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,046 they tie the score and force us into overtime. 335 00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,123 Our only hope is to block the kick. 336 00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:48,193 Torpedo, I'm counting on you! 337 00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,318 - Ready! - [Players] Break! 338 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:53,023 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 339 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,295 - ?? [Soul] - Down, set. 340 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:58,869 Hut! 341 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,570 ?? [Ends] 342 00:19:05,677 --> 00:19:10,910 - [Crowd Groans] - Oh, my Lord. C-Come on, baby. 343 00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,179 I got him. Get back. I'll go get him. 344 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:18,179 - [Groaning] - Jordan? Son, son, you all right? 345 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:22,158 - My pebbles. - Your pebbles? 346 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:26,857 [Groans] Nut shot, right pocket. 347 00:19:26,965 --> 00:19:29,365 Even though it didn't happen to me, I can still feel it. 348 00:19:29,468 --> 00:19:31,629 Guys, you know what I'm talking about. 349 00:19:31,737 --> 00:19:34,001 Just thinking about it makes you cringe. [Groans] 350 00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,506 And women, don't give me that... 351 00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:39,168 "You don't know what pain is. We give birth." 352 00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:43,476 Hmph! You go get hit in your pebbles and you come back and talk to Bernie Mac. 353 00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:46,380 [Groans] I gotta go walk it off. 354 00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:49,147 Excuse me. [Grunts] 355 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,788 - Come on, son. Get up here. Get up. - [Groaning] 356 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:57,123 - [Cheering] - [Jordan Groaning] 357 00:19:57,229 --> 00:19:59,356 [Man] Torpedo! 358 00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:04,158 [Dog Barking On TV] 359 00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:07,204 Hey, man. What ya watching? 360 00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,831 - Scooby-Doo. - Yeah? 361 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:13,207 Look at old Scrappy-Doo out there. I like that little dog. 362 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,248 Jordan, let me just cut this off one minute, all right? 363 00:20:21,019 --> 00:20:24,750 Son, I got some bad news to tell you. 364 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,718 Damien lost the championship game today. 365 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:32,490 Don't feel bad, son. They would have won if you were there. 366 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,623 So you ough to feel honored. 367 00:20:34,733 --> 00:20:38,464 That's how important the Torpedo is to the team. 368 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,834 Now, I'm never gonna get my trophy. 369 00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:45,638 - Yes, you are. - What? That stupid team trophy? 370 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,008 Doesn't even count, you said. 371 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:51,139 You said it doesn't even sound worthy of the Mac Hall of Fame. 372 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,185 Don't pay no attention to what I be sayin'. You know I'm not well. 373 00:20:54,286 --> 00:20:57,255 I say stupid things all the time that hurt people. 374 00:20:57,356 --> 00:21:00,792 And, besides, it's not even about the team trophy. 375 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,985 It's a special award from your teammates. 376 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,495 Jordan... 377 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,301 congratulations. 378 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:13,871 I'm really proud of you. 379 00:21:13,972 --> 00:21:17,373 ?? [Soul] 380 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,659 ?? [Ends] 381 00:21:40,599 --> 00:21:42,089 You know your line? 382 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,363 No, I thought it was yours first. 383 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:47,370 - Yeah, well, do... - Damn. 384 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,770 I thought he was gonna mention the trophy. 385 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:51,934 Damn, man, I messed the line up. 386 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,444 Uh, did I step on the line when I first came out too? 387 00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:58,175 Damn. 388 00:21:58,283 --> 00:22:02,083 That's nice. Man, that's real nice. 389 00:22:02,187 --> 00:22:06,180 Somebody'll bust your head, man. 390 00:22:06,291 --> 00:22:08,486 How long do you want me to stay there on that... 31122

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.