Original subtitles

Are you taking that pullover as well?

Well, you gave it to me!

True.

I'm sorry.

I'm Tom. I'm thirty years old

and I've a strange illness:

I don't believe in anything.

My life, the broken microwave,

rigged ball games, the bank stopping my overdraft...

It all makes my head spin!

Come on, stay. I love you.

You sound false.

No, I don't!

Listen: I love you.

This is Laurette, my ideal woman.

With her I found true love.

What about the baby you promised me?

Let me go. Sonia's waiting downstairs.

Vehicle registration papers please!

Face up to it: it's over.

OK, you can be on your way.

Fasten your belt!

Laurette and I met one April 1st.

You don't make me dream anymore. We're through.

Today I kinda have a hunch

that Laurette and I are through.

I love you!

Unless I'm proven wrong, I think everyone's looking for happiness.

But my I love you's haven't sounded sincere for ages.

I think something inside me broke.

We bought this washing machine together.

Only yesterday it hummed softly.

Nothing could happen to us.

It came with a 5-year guarantee.

TOM IS ALONE

As she left, she said

"You don't make me dream anymore.”

You don't make me dream anymore, Tom.

PREWASH

I'm here about the washing machine.

Oh yes! Come in.

Something broken, is there?

Where's it then?

- There. - Oh, I see!

- You broke it good and proper! - No, it was my son.

Must be a little terror. How old?

Eight.

Eight! I know what it's like.

The other bit's over there.

Oh yes indeed! A Kubbrecht model 82.

Made in Czechoslovakia!

I've only ever seen three.

Maybe less...

They knew how to make them:

electric motor, crossed coils,

four coats of enamel... Marvelous piece of work!

But it's a nightmare to find the parts!

I can't do a thing for you at the moment.

Should I buy a new one?

No way! It's a collector's item. The queen of washing machines.

We'll sort something out.

So...Kubbrecht.

One "k" and two "b"s!

One glass window, one seal.

One cotter pin.

- Nothing else wrong? - No. Oh yes, the microwave!

'Fraid I don't do microwaves anymore.

I'm sorry.

Well, I won't hang around.

I'm run off my feet right now. Don't know why.

I'll call you as soon as there's anything new...or second-hand!

Damn weather! This morning I ran out of clean clothes.

What a funny coincidence!

LAUNDROMAT

Excuse me...

Come in, my dear friend. Have no fear.

A Laundromat regular is celebrating his birthday.

Use Number 7. Number 6 isn't very kind to your underwear.

Thanks.

What do I do for washing powder?

You need 2-franc coins.

And 10-franc coins for the tokens.

Loose change is a problem here.

Or rather the lack of it.

Is it your first time here?

Yes, I broke my washing machine.

Oh, how interesting!

That's a first for us!

As for me, my wife went on holiday to Oléron Island 3 years ago

and never returned.

She fell in love with a fisherman.

Do you know Oléron?

Yes, Saint Trojan...

Saint Trojan, right.

Its sinister little train that goes to the beach.

Anyway, my girls like it there. Seems he's a good father.

What more can one say?

- Hello, my little Marion. - Hello, Jean-Pierre.

It's very simple: there are about 3 types of regulars here.

Single people, young couples who don't yet have a machine

and poor families.

Among the single people we have quite a lot of students.

Oh, Phan!

Our Boat People.

The Khmer Rouge cut out her tongue.

Nasty, huh?

I don't know if there are more people going crazy

but you certainly see more and more of them.

The world is on a very slippery slope.

Strange in the age of fiber optics, satellites and faxes,

the only place to meet someone is in health club Jacuzzis.

Makes you think.

And away you go!

Are you the manager?

No, merely a faceless customer like yourself.

Our mechanic has come a long way.

When he first came, he didn't believe in a thing.

His girlfriend left him and took the washing machine.

He ended up here.

We put him back on the rails.

Well, when I say "we"...

I'd like to say thank you to all of you.

Have you a problem?

No...well, yes.

I understand.

My name's Jean-Pierre. And you?

Tom.

Well, welcome to the Laundromat, Tom!

- Oh, I wanted to speak to you. - What's up, Bear?

People from City Hall called this afternoon.

They're animals, those guys!

They wanted to smash your door. Lucky my cousin was there.

The wrestler. He got the locksmith in a neck-lock.

They left pretty quick, I can tell you!

Oh, okay...

Careful. They're out for blood at the moment.

Don't bother thanking me!

Hello, this is Sonia.

You can also leave a message for Laurette after you-know-what.

I love you

It's a funny expression.

What?

No, nothing.

I spend so much time watching TV I think she's watching us at times.

Want a beer?

Nah...

You know? Maybe it was for the best, after all.

I mean, you argued and split up all the time.

You messed up some evenings for us.

You're right. It's over.

Can I be honest with you?

You shouldn't have given up the piano.

A passion you repress is like a cancer.

You're making us all suffer too.

Like the animal idea you and Bruno had.

I never believed in it.

I know, I know!

Hi.

- How's things? - Okay.

Sure?

Seems that trees are sad when the birds go.

So I heard.

So you're already here? Has it started?

Yeah. We're already one down.

Move up.

Hey! Go easy.

Shift!

What a bunch of losers!

Just look at that!

The Swedes play good.

Pass it!

What are they playing at?

Always the same. See that?

Went for his throat.

The fucker!

Doesn't look very warm over there.

Look. They're fine specimens.

Excuse us a second. Come here.

What the hell is this? 2 capuchins for 20,000 francs!

From Gibraltar.

Yeah, sure! The local zoo, more like!

- I got a hifi too. - OK, OK!

You got bad karma, pal. You better get it together.

Let's try for 15,000.

No, if you're gonna screw up, at least do it properly.

- They need feeding. - OK, OK.

Give me a hand.

It's heavy.

You're weird.

- What's wrong? - Nothing...

There is! Your mind's elsewhere.

- It's the animals... - What about them?

I'm disappointed in them.

What are you on about? They adore you.

I'm not so sure.

You should take a few days off.

Anyhow, you can't really work properly with that cast on.

Yeah, maybe I'd be better off in bed.

You need to be more Zen, Tom. You're not Zen enough.

I'll tell you a story which may help.

Somewhere in China, there's a place where it hasn't rained for ages.

The people decide to ask a rainmaker to help them.

The guy arrives,

looks around and sees everyone is arguing.

He soaks up their suffering,

then goes off on his own to a little hut.

But it's very strange: everyone waits but nothing happens.

After 3 days, it starts to rain, then to snow.

So? I don't get it.

But it's obvious! You feel bad, so the world feels bad.

The state of Tom equals the state of the world!

You feel better, so does the world.

You and your Buddhist stuff!

Mutant!

Hey, old boy,

you don't look great!

What's up?

What's going on?

I don't know. I stroked him and...

Heart attack.

Bound to happen

sooner or later.

Can I do anything?

No, I'll take care of everything.

Well...have a nice day.

You too.

I'm fed up with guys that breeze in and out of my life.

I need a man I can count on.

A simple life. A few kids.

Real vegetable soup. Lettuce fresh from the garden.

A bicycle next to the well. A honest-to-goodness dress.

"Honest-to-goodness"?

Don't be dumb!

Has your cat lost weight?

Yes, we're dieting.

How do I look tonight?

- Very pretty. - Really?

Why don't you come wash your clothes here? I wouldn't mind.

I found a nice Laundromat near my place.

- Pretty girls? - Oh, there you go!

Here you are!

I lucked out!

What's the name of the uptight one

- in the Muppets? - Miss Piggy.

Yes, that's it! Great!

I see you're feeling better. ...We're leaving.

Just go away, Tom. Get away from here.

Get yourself a little car. Go over the hills,

valleys and plains.

Beauty awaits you in the East.

Salzburg...

Magnificent Mozart. Paracelse. Forgotten genius.

But you want to know more. Vienna...

Vienna. Baroque... The Ring...

Transcendental. They're all there: Beethoven, Schiller,

Brahms, Mozart, Klimt, Strauss... But you want more...

You want to know more!

Further across the plain.

In the little train. The little road. A new wind blows.

There's not a soul. You say "I'm not staying in this hole!"

The East's a lot further. Behind a hill there's the Danube.

The jugular. The whole world.

You realize people everywhere know love.

Fraternity, love, hate, joy.

Blood flowing in our veins. Knowledge.

And what's behind the hill? Bratislava!

It sure is a good thing to travel.

I'm 35 years old. I really want a baby!

You see, Tom... A ring road.

It's a different world. A metal bridge

with a flying saucer flashing like a kind of...

question mark in space.

My baby will be born in the water.

Far more stimulating for children.

A sudden change.

Rails. Streetcars. The sky full of myriads of stars.

Metallic stars with wires, like in your neurons,

stretching to infinity, the place you want to get to,

where the earth becomes round

and the Orient's tongue slips inside you.

Behind the little valleys,

men walk in long lines,

like in olden days,

with potato sacks on their backs.

They ennoble the soil with their bony hands.

I'm gonna dance.

By the way, I'm going to London for 2 weeks.

We've cut an album with some dirty, long-haired punks.

What the public wants, the public gets.

It had to come to an end with Laurette.

So I took her cases out of the closet,

laid them on the bed,

and I put all her gear in,

hoping she'd get the message loud and clear.

She started yelling madly that she loved me madly.

What was I supposed to say?

When you stop loving someone, that's it.

Life's a bitch.

So I took her cases out of the closet,

laid them on the bed,

and I put all her gear in,

thinking she'd get the message loud and clear.

It was loud and clear.

She started yelling madly

that she loved me madly.

What was I supposed to say?

There are people waiting out here!

When you stop loving someone, that's it.

Life's a bitch.

MAIN WASH

Is it a communication problem or is it existential?

It's existential then.

Dunno.

One thing worries me though:

When she left, I hardly felt a thing.

I have no more desires or emotions. Nothing.

And now, no identity.

I don't even know who to vote for anymore.

I feel I'm full of contradictions.

For example, I'm pretty independent but I'm afraid of living alone.

I have a passion for the piano

but I do a shitty job.

When I love a girl, I do all I can to make her leave me.

I want what I don't have. When I have it, I don't want it.

You know, Tom,

to love someone, one must first love oneself.

We all have several different faces, different sides.

Like those giant mirror balls they have in night clubs

that make Saturday nights more bearable.

There are several Jean-Pierres.

Just like, in Tom, there are several different Toms.

The best thing, to live life to the full,

is to reconcile this crowd of people inside you

to get them to live together in harmony.

Just as you would with your neighbors.

The difference is: the building is...

you.

I just let myself be lulled to sleep.

Each time I come here,

I never cease to be amazed by the serenity of the place.

True, it doesn't look much: those soulless neon lights.

Those awful tiles.

Listen.

Spirits are calmed here.

And when all the machines go round together,

the temperature rises by 2 degrees and warms our souls.

Fear less, hope more.

Eat less, masticate more.

Sigh less, breathe more.

Speak less,

say more.

Do all that and you'll be a better man.

I've no better friend than you

No, no, no!

I've no better friend

than you

No better friend than you

These shirts haven't been ironed in ages.

Laurette and I weren't into ironing much.

That explains a lot of things.

Not everything but...even so!

What's that?

Your nephew's baptism pictures.

Remember Sister Romaric? She was very fond of you.

Your nun friend?

She's just left the convent and opened up a snack bar.

Said I could work with her.

I don't know if I should say yes or not.

The Mother Superior can't get over it.

She's on tranquilizers.

I've nothing against the odd Mogadon,

but it doesn't look good when it's a nun.

The photos came out nicely, didn't they?

You wouldn't believe what a big boy Baptiste is now.

I took him to the park.

He was standing there, smiling at me.

He was so happy.

So was I.

The spitting image of you!

The same twinkling eyes.

Was I asleep?

What's all this then?

Mom, you don't iron jeans!

Where I come from, we iron everything!

I know you won't but I'd like you to call

your brother and congratulate him on passing his exam.

I'll call him.

- Bye, son. - Bye, Mom.

See, Tom? We have our own tea ceremony

just like the Tuaregs.

On campus, a guy was handing out leaflets

about some new therapy:

The Rucksack Technique.

I know. It's a friend of mine that had the idea.

A strange man.

A clever idea but I doubt it'd work.

- What is it? - Simple.

Your problems are represented by stones you put in a rucksack.

You live with the sack all the time.

After a week, you bury it

and your problems.

Thanks. It does sound a clever idea.

They're testing it

in group therapy.

But apparently, it's very bad for the back!

No, in your case,

I'd advise Indian massages.

Relaxation works wonders too

and helps you localize the problem.

Ma Bismuth?

No! They made her pay back taxes on undeclared income.

Anyway...no! Not her!

The only thing that works for me is rebirthing.

Much better than iridology.

But you need to be tough:

You see old memories you'd kept hidden.

- It works, I can assure you. - So you say...

Jean-Pierre, your machine.

I hear you, but I'm busy right now.

With rebirthing, a friend relived the loss of his virginity.

Believe me, it wasn't a pretty sight.

Oh darn!

It doesn't matter.

We'll put it in Number 3. Go to work, Bernard.

Please excuse Marion. She's in love.

Love's the only therapy that works for me.

We'll talk about that when the novelty wears off.

When do we meet your fiancé?

Well, he takes his washing

home to his mother.

Right, dear companions, here's to Tom!

He was washed up here like Moby Dick

that stormy night.

But rest assured, I'm not Captain Ahab!

That's mine!

She says it got left in the machine.

It smells good. What powder do you use?

Do you remember "Flash, even at low temperatures"?

Very hard to find nowadays. But I still have 3 drums of it.

Here!

It does smell good.

Smells like mountain air.

There's a hint of pine.

It smells fresh.

- Bye, Marion. - Bye, Jean-Pierre.

- Bye, Tom. - Bye, Jean-Pierre.

- Bye, my pets. - Bye.

Tom, don't forget the Indian massages.

OK, I'll go.

You'll see, Mrs. Cindy is a very warm person.

Was the fetishist here?

Phan said two more panties went missing last night.

We'll have to do something

or the Laundromat will get a bad name.

We have to catch him red-handed!

We'll deal with this tomorrow.

I'll be here around 5 PM.

Bye, Jean-Pierre.

What does he do for a living?

As far as we can tell, he's a computer expert at IBM.

Some say he was a doctor in the colonies.

The Congo, I think.

Apparently that's where he learned hypnosis.

But no one's sure.

The one thing we know for sure is his wife left him

and never came back.

She left him for a fisherman, I think.

Anyway, he's so good for all of us.

- Isn't he? - Yes.

Yes, what is it?

I'm here for the Indian massage.

3rd floor on the left.

Good ol' Jean-Pierre! Is he still in Laundromats?

That's where I met him.

Did he ever publish his Method?

No...I don't know.

Say hi from Edelweiss. He'll understand.

Edelweiss.

Mrs. Cindy will see you after the man with the rucksack.

Excuse me. Do you do the Rucksack Technique?

No, I was out rambling.

Good!

Gooood...gooood...

Ah, lovesick?

Shit! It's not the right one. I knew it!

Kubbrecht is one of a kind.

Great machines, but you can't find the parts.

A friend out of town may be able to help.

I'm going there later.

Then there's the factory in Bratislava.

You don't give up easily!

If a job's worth doing...

How's your kid? Where is he? There's no school today.

My kid? He's...with his grandma, in the suburbs.

- Got any coffee? - Sure.

Go on then, just a quick one.

Heard the news?

The rail disaster.

I can't bear to watch TV anymore.

They used to have some good programs on before.

The variety shows, the circus.

The Magic Roundabout.

Polly the Little Pony. And Vidocq.

- Remember? - You bet.

Hey, try this:

You know the police captain,

the fat guy with the heavy jowls?

- What was the actor's name? - Marc Dudicourt.

Wow! You know your stuff. Not many people know that.

What a great actor.

And Dean Martin...

- Like him? - Yeah.

For years I've been looking for a record

of him singing to Erik Satie.

King Music, Amsterdam.

I'm beginning to like you, kid.

We can't go in!

Look at the state of it! It's just not possible.

We'll decide what to do later on.

It's a disaster! A total disaster!

- What happened? - The foam ruins the electrics.

-I'm going in. - No.

There's no point.

- So what'll we do? - All my washing's stuck in there.

2 loads. And the color wash was full to bursting.

- There's foam everywhere! - Can we help?

No, 5 of us are already sharing 3 floorcloths.

- Come on, I'll help. - No!

Back we go!

Sometimes I feel like giving up all this.

And we need a cork bulletin board.

All these scraps of paper

look so unsightly.

Oh! You don't look on form.

It's nothing. It's just Serge.

It's always the same when we study together.

He can't explain things without getting angry.

Oh, that Serge! That Serge!

Want a hand? You don't seem to have the right method.

Bernard, try holding the squeegee the right way up.

10 years? That takes real devotion.

10 years at music school to end up banging the keys in a piano bar.

One day, I had enough, I quit.

A friend was looking for a partner

to start a pet shop.

I like animals, so I said yes.

Well, I wanted to be a mountain guide.

The top of the mountain guides!

But my ambitions were too lofty!

What about your folks?

My Dad died 7 years ago.

I'm sorry. You may think it strange, but I always ask this:

What kind of man was he?

I never really found out. He lived in a dream.

You know, Tom, we don't always do what we want in life.

You'll be okay.

Let's do this again.

Serge is on the phone. He wants to speak to you.

Excuse me, Tom.

I'm listening

to what's behind your words.

I'd rather be hearing...

Yes, Serge, yes! Harmony!

It's one of the keywords in the Method.

My dearest Serge, goodbye. I'll hand you over to your beloved.

Where's that electrician?

Hi there, Jean-Pierre.

Hello, Mr. Neck.

One of our old regulars.

He was with us for a year.

Does you good...

This smell.

I feel like I'm at the seaside.

The tide's out.

Suntanned people are coming home from the beach,

back to their rented houses.

They plod along,

their espadrilles full of sand.

Tonight, they'll eat seafood in the old port

and will be sick all night.

And to think that you like Oléron!

I went there as a kid.

I haven't told you about the Method.

Yes, good evening.

Good evening. I live next door and I'd like to talk to you.

Talk? What about?

Nothing special. Just to get to know you.

That's nice, but we're watching a movie.

Maybe we could watch it together?

- Good evening. - Hi there.

- You live next door? - That's right.

He wants to talk to us.

What about?

You, me...I don't know. Your next vacation.

Your work.

What exactly do you want?

To be real neighbors.

How strange...

I don't get it.

Well, in Spain right now, people are outside, talking.

They know one another.

Oh, Spain!

Some other time perhaps?

Well, think it over.

Good night.

See you tomorrow.

-Yes? - It works both ways.

If you need a can-opener, advice, whatever, don't hesitate.

Sure thing. Good night then.

A very warm welcome to each and every one of you.

The fun's about to start, so sit down,

make yourselves comfortable and hold onto your seats!

If you can answer the questions I'm going to ask...

A twenty-three-inch model,

ultra-flat screen. You're a gentleman!

My cousin Raymond's gonna be real pleased!

I'll give the schmuck my old one.

Can I put a games console on top?

Bear, you can do anything you like with it.

You'll need this too!

Shit! It's like the Year 2000!

Want a drop of sherry?

In the early days with Laurette,

we'd argue each time we did the laundry.

The color had come out or the clothes had shrunk.

It was never right.

In 2 months, half of our clothes were blue!

With my old lady, we had our pink period.

I left this in my pocket.

You can't even read the name of our group now: Montrouge.

Back then,

we spent less time thinking.

We had causes to fight for, so we fought.

They won't get rid of us Marxists!

Mistakes were made, that's for sure.

As a matter of fact, that's why I left Montrouge.

I miss the pals most of all.

We'd post bills at night,

fight with the boys from the UNR.

That's all gone now... because of the Wall.

As time goes by, I think that the path to true happiness

has nothing special

except maybe that it goes uphill.

Out comes the baby!

Go on, sit up.

Shall we have a little trial run?

You see?

Sorry, my classes started late.

Hello to you too!

I only have an hour.

One hour!

Who're you kidding?

I was looking forward to this!

Same Tom, always moaning! Show me you're pleased.

You first.

I'm very pleased to see you.

I brought you your old records.

You remembered!

Thanks.

So we've nothing left to say?

I'm sure there's lots to say.

But not today?

It's weird. We're like two strangers..

I don't know how to look at you.

We know each other well.

I'm not so sure.

- Know something? - What?

We're not the problem.

It's everything else.

The turmoil around us maybe. I don't know.

We were trying to relive old memories of the good times.

But we were never able to.

Did we really want to?

I don't know.

I know I did.

How do you spend your days?

I do my laundry, I discover simple everyday pleasures:

doing the dishes, the washing, shining my shoes...

Everything's back to normal?

I don't know.

I miss you.

I miss you too, Laurette.

We must talk.

I'm glad you're here. Look at those guys.

Discreetly.

We gotta talk.

There's something weird about those two.

They're looking at the capuchins. We don't have the certificates!

Calm down!

Here they come! You talk to them.

Gentlemen?

Can I help you?

Veterinary Department. Have you the bill for those monkeys?

From Gibraltar?

Of course.

Here they are.

10,000 each? Do they do tricks for that price?

Do you want the veterinary certificates?

There's no need.

Have a nice day, gentlemen.

Bravo!

I quit.

Huh?

I've decided to give you my share.

You lay me off and I'll get unemployment benefit.

What's wrong?

- It's Lucio. - What about Lucio?

He didn't come home.

- An accident? - No!

I rang every hospital in Paris.

It was no accident!

His seminar ended late and he slept out.

So you want to quit?

But you used to like having our own firm.

- Being independent. - 1 did it for Ma.

I'm not happy here. Can't you see?

You like all this. I don't.

- Will you go back to the piano? - I dunno.

Oh heck!

Sometimes, I feel I should just wait for my next life.

Come on...

How about a drink at Dimitri's? It's only 3 o'clock.

3 o'clock!

I've got to unpack the arachnids!

Mom!

Christiane, my wife.

She's been living at Oléron for 4 years now.

Oléron, the island of shame!

Some of her things are still here.

Sometimes, I even wash them.

To wipe out the years.

She's very pretty.

When she left, I was knocked off my feet.

She was my whole life. It opened my eyes.

My therapy has been to help others.

I'm telling you this because...

I don't want to make a big speech, but I like you.

I think you feel the same.

I can assure you I do.

That's good to hear. Thank you.

Oléron again!

My girls, Elsa and Léa.

That's me.

In the Andes.

With my companion, Roland.

He fell before my eyes.

Three hundred meters.

The mountain reclaimed him.

Around this time,

I started work on the Method.

An idea for the cover of the Method.

1 did it myself.

It's very sober.

That's what I wanted.

The great Charles de Gaulle.

A man of honor. He inspired me back then as he does now.

A light in the fog. A man with a conscience.

A friend.

Over to you, Marion.

Right then...Serge and I have made a big decision:

We're gonna live together.

So, last night, we went shopping

and bought our first washing machine.

So I'm leaving you!

But we'll come visit. Our apartment's not far away.

Well then...

I'd better blow the candles out.

There we are! Another one leaves the nest!

As in all families, one day, the children go away.

And for us, it's often for a washing machine.

Come on. To Serge!

For he is tonight's hero, after all...

In the name of all us Laundromat regulars,

I wish you every happiness.

And remember: love has its ups and downs.

Don't let it get you down!

That's for you.

I don't make speeches.

I just live life.

Love means seeing God in your partner.

If not, why bother?

Anyone got a light?

That's easy. I know!

Give people a chance, Marion. That's the point of the game.

When Phan comes, we always play charades.

She can join in too.

It brings people together and it's festive.

Laurel and Hardy.

That's it.

Excuse me a moment.

It's too early, Yvonne.

My dinner finished early. I wasn't going to wait in the street.

I've company. I said 2 AM.

What should I do then?

Go home. I'll call you.

- Promise? - I promise, my darling.

Excuse the unfortunate interruption. Where were we?

Sergei Bubka, the pole vaulter?

Mary Poppins. You get better every time.

Will you do de Gaulle?

But that's not miming.

It doesn't matter. You do it so well.

Go on!

Tom's never seen it.

Just a few memorable quotations.

Here we are in Cherbourg,

humiliated.

Cherbourg is destroyed,

but Cherbourg is united.

Cherbourg, stand up!

The enemy picks out randomly

100,000...200,000... 300,000 sons of France

and massacres them.

Victims from Nantes, Paris,

Lille, Strasbourg

and elsewhere,

you are the ones who make

this country indivisible.

It is not enough merely to jump on one's seat,

shouting "Europe! Europe! Europe!"

That leads nowhere and means nothing.

One must see things as they are.

France's steamship is underway!

She sails the high seas.

Long live Mostaganem!

Long live French Algeria!

Long live France!

Experienced young man offers piano lessons. All levels.

Taking up the piano again? Good idea.

Tell me something, Tom.

I read in a newspaper at the dentist's

that there are some men...

When they love a woman...

Because they're so in love...

Well, they can't...

They can't get it up.

Perfectly normal.

Oh yes, it's normal, isn't it?

It happens a lot more often than people think.

Yes, that's what I read.

It's a funny thing.

You really impressed us on the piano at Jean-Pierre's.

Thanks.

Well, I've got a car to finish. I must dash.

Is Jean-Pierre coming today?

He came this morning, so I doubt it.

Bye! Have a good day.

RINSE

Here are some clothes she'd ironed.

We gotta go now, Tom.

They were about to tow my car away!

Drink?

A beer.

A half, please.

Are you okay, Rémi?

Yeah.

Got a light?

Mom...

I wanted to tell you something before you went away.

Those goddam white lines down the legs of my jeans

that you ironed so carefully...

I'll miss them...

SPIN

- Are you recording them? - Yeah.

It's a gimmick for the radio: people saying "I love you".

And?

And so, I go all over the place.

Bars, public squares, the subway.

Trains are good too.

Then I make a selection and keep the best ones.

It's not very discreet but it's funny.

- Did I see your ticket? - Yes.

- What time are we in Vienna? - Plenty of time yet.

Where are you going?

East.

That's vague.

Are the people you record really in love?

Depends what you mean.

Do they sound sincere?

If you listen carefully, "Il love you" usually means something different.

Like what?

Depends. It varies from...

"I miss you" to "I feel lonely"...

including "Love me",

"I'm jealous", "I'm hungry",

"I'm afraid you'll leave me",

"I've got toothache"...

"I love you"?

Yes, I hear that one too sometimes.

Anyhow, what are words worth these days?

I love you...

I love spaghetti,

I love your pullover...

Honey,

sugar, precious...

The worst one of all's "Baby"!

"You OK, baby?" "Hi, baby"...

"Nice one, baby"...

Can I listen to some?

Do you really want to?

Wait a second.

They didn't even notice.

Have you ever been caught?

Once.

I was recording my ex.

Ready?

Unbelievable! A Frenchman in Bratislava!

Business?

No, pleasure.

- What? - It's a proverb

from round here, so to speak.

"When grasshopper travels, ant makes loads of bread"!

The meter ticks over fast, doesn't it?

That's normal. It's a new model,

so to speak.

Before I had a Soviet meter... very slow.

Now, with these little Italian jobs,

it's amazing.

Business is picking up.

Didn't we come here before, "so to speak"?

What are you doing here?

What about you?

Hang on! Know why I'm here in Bratislava?

Not for...?

Kubbrecht. Right!

You came all this way for a part for my washing machine?

You better believe it!

And you?

Here on business?

No, for a change of scenery.

I only arrived today, but I think you came to the right place.

I can't get over it!

16 hours of driving,

a splendid drive through Switzerland,

a stop in Salzburg to say hello to Mozart...

To hell with it! I'll say it anyway:

- It's a small world, eh? - Very.

Are you busy tonight?

A guide's taking me to a place where you can have a good time.

- Do you want to come too? - Well...why not?

Meet downstairs?

I've got a better idea: let's go down together.

You must admit, a stripper in a restaurant is pretty rare!

I dreamt of visiting that factory for 10 years.

Kubbrecht! Just the word sounds like magic!

Why don't you come with me tomorrow?

After all, it's your machine.

You're right. It is mine.

That girl's fantastic.

I rang the foreman this morning.

I'm expected at 10 AM.

We'll try to eat at the canteen at lunchtime.

Know him?

He's the cab driver I told you about before.

Yves, Pepik. Pepik, Yves.

Like the show?

Yes, very nice.

I'll try to introduce you to an extraordinary lady.

- 0K? - How much?

The money doesn't matter. She's extraordinary.

Trust me.

You'll see... How about you?

1,000 crowns for you both.

No, I'm bushed.

I don't know if it's the journey or the change of air.

And I must call home.

My old girl will be worried.

Babka was Kafka's favorite prostitute.

How old is she?

Eighty.

- She asks if you know Kafka. - Sure.

You are good, very young...

but you do not open yourself up...

to people.

You should let the world...

fill your inner self...

so that your dreams and desires...

fill the world.

Tear off the mask that stops you being yourself.

Bratislava is the best place for that.

She asks if you want to touch her genitals.

What's that?

She asks if you want to touch her genitals.

It'll bring you good luck.

Look: one "k" and two "b"s.

Hello, Yves Briens. We're from Paris.

I rang yesterday. We're here to meet Mr. Vladimir Jelinek.

Great start!

- I'll leave you to it. - Thank you.

What luck!

Not everyone gets to see inside here.

Mind you, I really had to persuade ol' Jelinek.

What's the smell?

Kubbrecht oil. Made from colza seeds.

It's a secret formula.

Like Coca-Cola in America.

Look! There's a model 52. And another one!

That's a model 60.

And that...

That's a model that was never exported.

I only saw it in catalogs.

Funny! Different models have different-sized windows.

Look! There's the critter we're after!

She's past her prime

but the window's withstood its time on earth.

Right! Let's get to it!

Give me a hand. Hold it for me.

We really are lucky devils!

Oh, I didn't show you the present Jelinek gave me.

I'll treasure this, I can tell you!

They don't make key rings like that anymore.

See that inlay?

See that blue?

They knew how to make them back then!

This is real good food.

Not bad.

Any news of your boy?

He's still at his grandma's.

I'll start thinking he doesn't exist soon.

Can you pass me that bowl?

What are you doing?

I'll be right back.

I like you.

Can you swim?

Yes.

I can't.

I think my life is here now.

I'll play piano in some bar.

I'll be called "Tomick the Pianick".

We'll be married and live in a house with a pointy roof.

From now on, I decide what I do with my life.

OK, let's go.

DRYING

- Hello, my dear Tom. - Hi.

Please come in.

We'll set to work straight away.

We'll take a break around four.

I never eat lunch.

Honey cakes and tea...

- How does that sound? - Great!

Good.

I can see we'll be great partners.

We'll start with a Judy Garland classic.

Then we'll try a piece by Sarah Vaughan

this afternoon.

The sun only comes into this room around 1 o'clock.

By the way, is Tom your real name?

No, it's a nickname.

I'm really called Thomas.

Shall we do some warm-up exercises?

...three, four.

We don't know where he is.

Did you try his place?

It's all shut up.

Phan saw him in another Laundromat.

We're really worried.

Here. He left this for you.

And to think that you like Oléron!

Nice day, isn't it?

Great!

Shit!

- So long, man. - See ya!

Things change...

English subtitles: J. MILLER

Subtitling TITRA-FILM Paris