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Subtitles by explosiveskull
www.OpenSubtitles.org
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[Man] You've got to do
something.
3
00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:34,952
[Hogan] Why have I
got to do something?
4
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,329
[Man] Because I don't
really like snakes!
5
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,081
[Hogan] I don't like 'em either.
6
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:41,375
Why don't we just
turn around and...
7
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,419
go back the way we came up?
8
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,756
'Cause everyone's watching.
9
00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:51,260
Please. Mr. Dundee.
10
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,344
Oh...
11
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,097
Yeah, come on. Mr. Dundee.
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00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:02,354
[Man] Go, Dundee!
13
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:05,566
[Hogan] I'm not really
Crocodile Dundee, you know.
14
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,526
Just a character I play
in a movie.
15
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:11,489
He's being modest. That movie
was practically a documentary.
16
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,823
[Hogan] Shut up, Barney!
17
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,242
Stand back, everyone. Boys.
18
00:01:16,035 --> 00:01:17,953
Oh. Shit.
19
00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,289
Be careful.
20
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:21,916
[Barney] Here's a stick!
21
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,042
[stick whooshes]
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00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,970
He'll have that thing on the
barbecue tonight. [chuckles]
23
00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,313
It's dead. [chuckles]
24
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,190
[laughs]
25
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,611
[Teacher] Um, yeah, not that
one.
26
00:01:50,694 --> 00:01:51,612
Huh?
27
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,572
Could you get the other one?
28
00:01:53,656 --> 00:01:55,115
The other one? Oh, is there...
29
00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:56,075
Ooh, Jesus!
30
00:01:57,952 --> 00:01:59,119
Shit.
31
00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,496
Everything okay?
32
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:01,580
[snake hisses]
33
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,332
[screams]
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00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,501
[All clamoring]
35
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:13,968
Oops.
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00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,886
[screaming continues]
37
00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:21,433
As hilarious reports
continue to surface of Paul
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00:02:21,517 --> 00:02:23,227
'Crocodile Dundee' Hogan's
39
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,396
ill-fated rendezvous
with a snake...
40
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:29,316
we ask where the Man from
Down Under has been hiding.
41
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,652
[Man] The one-time rigger
on the Sydney Harbor Bridge
42
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:33,153
first got his big break
43
00:02:33,237 --> 00:02:36,115
on Australian talent show
New Faces.
44
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:39,493
[Woman] He instantly became
a household favorite,
45
00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:42,204
and quickly, this everyman
went on to star
46
00:02:42,288 --> 00:02:46,166
in his own sketch comedy
series, The Paul Hogan Show.
47
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:50,504
[Man] Dominating the Australian
ratings over a 14-year period
48
00:02:50,588 --> 00:02:53,340
made 'Hoges' a household name
49
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:58,095
and introduced such iconic
characters as Arthur Dunger,
50
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,014
Luigi the Unbelievable
51
00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:03,893
and stuntman extraordinaire
Leo Wanker.
52
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:07,771
The world beckoned,
and as Hoges fronted
53
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:10,441
Australia's most successful
tourism campaign,
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00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,278
we booked our flights and
flocked Down Under in droves.
55
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,280
It was then Hogan unleashed...
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00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,575
the most successful
independent film
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00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,535
in the history of cinema...
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00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,370
[Man] Crocodile Dundee.
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00:03:23,454 --> 00:03:25,205
[O'DELL] ...Crocodile Dundee,
of course.
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00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:26,874
[Woman] ...Crocodile Dundee.
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00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,042
That's not a knife.
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00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,546
That's a knife.
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00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,298
[Woman] The low-budget Aussie
comedy
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00:03:34,381 --> 00:03:37,760
went on to gross over $300
million worldwide
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00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:41,889
and saw Paul Hogan co-host
the 1987 Academy Awards
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00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,767
and made him one of the most
recognizable faces
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00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,394
on the planet and a national
treasure.
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00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:49,730
Growing up in Australia,
there was one name
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00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:53,192
that was... beyond an idol
in a way,
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00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:56,570
and I'm just gonna say
one word - Hoges.
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00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:57,780
[cheering and applause]
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00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,323
Hoges was your everyman.
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00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,200
Hoges was the Aussie
you wanted to be.
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00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,994
[O'Dell] In 1989 came Dundee II
75
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,872
and saw Hogan move
to live in the US.
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00:04:06,956 --> 00:04:08,749
[Frazier] More films were
to follow,
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00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,918
but all failed to capture
the same success
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00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,461
as Crocodile Dundee.
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00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,171
[Man] And almost overnight,
80
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,715
Hogan disappeared from
American screens.
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00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:18,300
And apart from a brief cameo
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00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,511
in a new Australian
tourism campaign...
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00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,638
...has rarely been seen again.
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00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,056
[Woman] If you want to know
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00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,557
what the notoriously private
star
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00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,810
has been up to these past
20 years,
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00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:31,563
your guess... is as good as
mine.
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00:04:31,647 --> 00:04:33,357
[Woman] What the hell was that?!
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00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,692
[Hogan] What?
90
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,235
You threw a snake at a
fifth-grade teacher
91
00:04:36,318 --> 00:04:37,903
and hit her in the face!
92
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,781
Oh. Oh, she thought I was
the real Crocodile Dundee.
93
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:42,616
So you threw a snake at her?
94
00:04:42,700 --> 00:04:45,661
Oh, no. That was an accident.
The bloody thing leapt at me.
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00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,747
Right. And yet she thought you
were the real Crocodile Dundee?
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00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,791
[laughs] Yeah. He probably
would have eaten it.
97
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,002
Paul, I hardly have any clients
left as it is.
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00:04:53,085 --> 00:04:54,920
Could you just please try
not to kill yourself?
99
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:55,921
Okay.
100
00:04:56,005 --> 00:04:56,922
Thank you.
101
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,090
Uh, where are we going?
102
00:04:58,173 --> 00:04:59,591
Oh. I have news.
103
00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:00,592
Oh.
104
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:01,552
Yeah!
105
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,433
See this letter?
106
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:08,559
What?
107
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:11,061
Well, God knows why,
but apparently
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00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:15,399
the Queen of England wants to
bestow you with a knighthood.
109
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,400
[laughs]
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00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,401
What for?
111
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,736
For services to comedy.
112
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,488
Services! God! I don't want
a knighthood.
113
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:22,948
Well, you're getting one.
114
00:05:23,032 --> 00:05:24,783
So this is serious?
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00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,535
Oh. Look at that.
116
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,579
There's that Dundee
impersonator.
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00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,330
[Hogan] Oh, he's still here.
[chuckles]
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00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:32,750
I hate it. You know, people keep
telling me he's strung out.
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00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,544
Photo with Mick Dundee?
Hey? Crocodile man?
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00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,129
[Hogan] They're all strung out.
121
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,256
Yeah, but he doesn't even
look like Dundee!
122
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,133
And apparently he's rude
to the kids
123
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,052
and then charges them
something like $5
124
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:44,344
just to take his picture.
125
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,472
Well, this is Hollywood
Boulevard.
126
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:47,723
They're all crooks.
127
00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,016
Yeah, I know.
128
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,018
Oh, and, yes, this is very
serious.
129
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,603
Oh.
130
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,981
Oh, yeah. They want me
to appear in person.
131
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:57,483
Six weeks from now in London.
132
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,651
[laughs] I know!
How great is that?
133
00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:01,403
[scoffs] I'm not going.
134
00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:03,072
Wait. But... What? You are.
135
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:04,865
Wh-why would I go to...
136
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,034
I mean, I've been trying to
retire for the last 20 years.
137
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:08,077
I know.
138
00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,578
[Hogan] You know me. I'm lazy.
139
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:12,164
I like to stay at home
and watch Ellen on TV
140
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,957
and do crossword puzzles.
141
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,876
But despite all that, it seems
142
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,253
the Queen is actually
quite the fan.
143
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:19,254
Oh.
144
00:06:19,338 --> 00:06:20,297
[laughs] I know.
145
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,840
I'm not surprised.
146
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:24,218
I mean, come on, you put
Australia on the map.
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00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,720
You had the most successful
independent film
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00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,388
in history, Paul.
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00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:30,140
I mean, you've got to think
about your legacy.
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00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,475
My legacy?
151
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,061
Having a legacy is a beautiful
thing.
152
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,898
As your manager, I am telling
you, you've got to do this.
153
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,983
Oh, and in the meantime,
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00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,610
can you just try and
behave yourself?
155
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:43,946
Because, you know, the palace
hates any kind of...
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00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,864
controversy or trouble.
157
00:06:45,948 --> 00:06:48,659
Hey, I never cause any
controversy or trouble.
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00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,663
You know... sometimes it...
just comes after me.
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00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,669
[Hogan] What are we doing here?
160
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,379
[Angie] Okay. Don't be mad.
161
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,548
But the studio really, really
wanted a meeting.
162
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,299
[Hogan] Angie, I've been
telling you for 20 years,
163
00:07:04,383 --> 00:07:06,051
I don't want to do
another Dundee.
164
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:09,012
I know, but they've got some
really amazing casting news.
165
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,682
Seriously, I have never
heard the studio
166
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,559
this excited and bursting
with ideas.
167
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,811
So I told them we'd take
a meeting.
168
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,605
Oh, come on. Just do it for me?
Please?
169
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,274
Can we meet with them?
170
00:07:20,357 --> 00:07:22,860
And then you can go home,
take a nap and watch Ellen.
171
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,528
[chuckles]
172
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,529
All right. Come on.
173
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,406
Okay. You know what? I can't go.
174
00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:29,533
I've got to meet Mom.
But you go ahead.
175
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,118
You'll be great, trust me.
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00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,452
I'll call you later!
177
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:35,664
[starts engine] Love you!
[cackles]
178
00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:38,959
Oh, look! Everyone,
there's Paul Hogan!
179
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,600
Hey.
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00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:55,601
Hey, Paul.
181
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:56,810
Kim Courtney. Pleasure.
182
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,228
Paul, it's an honor.
183
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,023
Thanks for coming in, Paul.
184
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:02,941
We heard you were very excited
to meet.
185
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:04,568
Uh... yeah.
186
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,153
Let me just start by saying
that we are huge fans
187
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,988
of the Crocodile Dundee movies.
188
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,615
And we want to bring him back.
189
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:11,200
We know you've been a little
resistant in the past,
190
00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:12,951
but please, just hear us out.
191
00:08:13,035 --> 00:08:16,330
We'd really love to see
Dundee...
192
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,915
come to Los Angeles.
193
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,374
[Hogan] Dundee in LA?
194
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,375
Exactly.
195
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:22,294
Like we did in Dundee III?
196
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,380
There was a Dundee III?
197
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:26,798
Are you sure?
198
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,884
Mmm, reasonably.
199
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,344
Here we go.
200
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:32,012
Drinks! Ha ha!
201
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:34,932
One sunrise kiss
with added kale.
202
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,475
Thank you.
203
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:37,851
Roland, blended oats
and chai supreme.
204
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,019
Ah. Thank you, Anton.
205
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,354
Ah, Josh.
206
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,480
Yes, siree.
207
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:42,606
Lemon and rocket essence.
208
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,607
Perfecto.
209
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,608
Now, Paul...
210
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,609
Uh, no, I'm...
211
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:46,944
I made you my favorite,
212
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,320
which is a cleansing blend
213
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,072
of mint, goat's milk,
214
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:54,868
activated walnuts and baby
spinach with agave syrup.
215
00:08:54,952 --> 00:08:56,036
Ooh!
216
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,037
Agave syrup!
217
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,038
Yeah. Thanks.
218
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,081
[Kim] Take a sip.
219
00:08:59,164 --> 00:09:00,165
[Roland] Yeah, yeah. Drink.
220
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,166
Sip.
221
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,251
[Kim] Come on.
222
00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,336
Hmm? Hmm?
223
00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:05,837
It's good, huh?
224
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:06,838
Yeah. There it is.
225
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:07,839
[laughter]
226
00:09:07,923 --> 00:09:09,174
Anton!
227
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,135
Okay. Let's forget the location.
228
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,679
We want to introduce your son.
229
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,430
A Dundee Jr.
230
00:09:15,514 --> 00:09:18,558
You know, someone who shares all
of your qualities and attributes
231
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,477
but who can bring the franchise
forward
232
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,145
for a younger, new generation.
233
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:24,523
Yeah, well, we've already been
down that road,
234
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:27,317
and it, um... didn't sort of
work.
235
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,028
Yes. But this time, we have
just the actor.
236
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,614
He's A-list, he is charming,
funny as hell...
237
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:33,657
A little bit cute.
238
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,700
He is perfect.
239
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,744
And a massive, massive fan.
240
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:41,331
So, without any further ado,
to play your son...
241
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:43,709
Will Smith!
242
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:44,710
[Others laugh]
243
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:45,711
Will...
244
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:47,087
Smith!
245
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,589
Look at him! Oh, he can't
believe it!
246
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,301
Believe it, Paul!
He wants to play your son!
247
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:53,510
Yeah!
248
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,678
Yeah, but...
249
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,972
Okay. We know what you're
thinking.
250
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,223
He's too old.
251
00:09:58,307 --> 00:09:59,891
No, that's not what I'm
thinking.
252
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,436
But he's just turned 50
and he looks great.
253
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:03,854
Yeah, I'm sure, yeah, but...
254
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,105
What? He's American?
255
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,315
He's fantastic with accents.
256
00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:07,441
We'll get him a voice coach.
257
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,151
But that's... not the problem.
258
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,152
It's just that he's...
259
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,153
Hey, Barry!
260
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,196
Ah! We got Paul Hogan here!
261
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,115
We're just discussing
the Dundee casting.
262
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,451
My man! Crocodile Dundee!
263
00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,952
[Hogan] Hey, Barry.
264
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:21,455
Sorry, Paul. You were saying?
265
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,582
Well, it just doesn't
make sense.
266
00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:24,750
It's just that he's...
267
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:25,751
Hey, Kyle!
268
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:26,877
Yes?
269
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,295
Bring that thing in here.
270
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:29,338
[Kyle] For sure.
271
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,505
So we can show our excitement.
272
00:10:30,589 --> 00:10:31,548
[All] Ah!
273
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,051
[Kim] Oh, great! Perfect!
274
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,719
Perfect timing.
275
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,512
[Barry] It's a crocodile.
276
00:10:37,596 --> 00:10:39,014
[chuckles]
277
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,266
Sorry, Paul, you were saying?
278
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:42,893
Oh, yeah, well...
279
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,978
You don't seem too sure
about Will... What is it?
280
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:45,979
You can tell us.
281
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:46,980
Mmm.
282
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:48,690
Be honest. Is... is it height?
283
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:49,691
No...
284
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:50,692
His build?
285
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,693
No...
286
00:10:51,777 --> 00:10:52,694
What, his hair color?
287
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:53,695
Closer.
288
00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:54,696
His acting?
289
00:10:54,780 --> 00:10:55,697
No, I... I love Will Smith.
290
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:56,823
I think he's fabulous.
291
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,033
He's great. But, um...
292
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,493
What?
293
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,702
What is it, Paul?
294
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,038
He's black.
295
00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:08,043
[seat squeaks]
296
00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:09,586
You did what?
297
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:10,837
I didn't do anything!
298
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,547
Paul, not more than
20 minutes ago,
299
00:11:12,631 --> 00:11:14,049
I told you to behave yourself,
300
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,550
and now you suddenly decide
to become a racist?
301
00:11:15,634 --> 00:11:17,761
Racist? Oh, rubbish!
302
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,971
They said you said you didn't
like Will Smith
303
00:11:20,055 --> 00:11:21,306
because he was black.
304
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,100
No! I just said it makes
no sense
305
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,435
that me and the equally white
Sue Charlton
306
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,562
have an African-American son.
307
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,233
God, Paul! You can't say that!
308
00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:33,402
Oh, I'm fairly sure I already
did.
309
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,446
Now I know why my dad always
wanted to quit managing you.
310
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,032
He never wanted to quit.
311
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,575
Paul?
312
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,160
Um, what do you say
313
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,621
we just keep this Will Smith
stuff to ourselves, huh?
314
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,415
And you just try and behave.
315
00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,707
I'll try.
316
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:48,708
Okay.
317
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,127
Bye.
318
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,380
Oh... God!
319
00:12:40,302 --> 00:12:42,095
[door opens]
320
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,972
[dog whines softly]
321
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,600
[door closes]
322
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:47,601
Paddy?
323
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,894
[whimpers]
324
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,812
[chuckles] You want your dinner,
don't you?
325
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,189
[whines]
326
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,441
Here it comes.
327
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,485
[chuckles]
328
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:00,614
[dance music playing
in distance]
329
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:06,328
♪ Like you want to go ♪
330
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:09,498
♪ Baby, it's the time ♪
331
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:13,877
♪ I can make you mine... ♪
332
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,878
[music thumps inside]
333
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:15,879
Hey, Dad.
334
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,880
Oh, hey, mate.
335
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:17,923
How's your day been?
336
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,174
Yeah, it's good, it's good.
337
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:20,425
Not too bad. How about you?
338
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:21,968
Mmm... not bad.
339
00:13:22,052 --> 00:13:23,762
Listen, do you want any dinner?
340
00:13:23,845 --> 00:13:25,680
Oh, I'm all right. I had a bite
earlier, actually, so...
341
00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:27,474
Oh, well... Oop.
342
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,600
[Woman] Hi.
343
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,851
Hello. Hi.
344
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:30,852
Hi.
345
00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:31,853
Good to see you.
346
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:33,355
These are... they're my friends.
347
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,482
Yeah.
348
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:37,651
Um, there's some ice-cream
left down there.
349
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:38,860
You want me to leave you a bit?
350
00:13:38,944 --> 00:13:40,612
You know what? I'm good,
actually, Dad.
351
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,155
But I might grab some
in a bit, eh?
352
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:43,532
Okay.
353
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:44,824
Why don't you come in for a sec?
354
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,826
Well, I'd love to, but, um...
355
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:47,953
you know, it's a bit late for
me.
356
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:48,954
Sure.
357
00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,789
Yeah. I'll leave you.
358
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,207
I love you, Dad.
Good to see you.
359
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,250
Love you.
360
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,334
See you.
361
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:55,877
[O'Dell] As excitement builds
362
00:13:55,961 --> 00:13:57,462
for Alf: The Musical,
363
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,923
which opens on Broadway
next week.
364
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,843
[Frazier] Meanwhile, at the
domestic box office,
365
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:06,096
Father-in-Law spent its second
week at number one,
366
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,057
making Pauly Shore's return
to the top now complete.
367
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,267
Welcome back, Pauly.
368
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,726
[Frazier] Yeah, indeed.
369
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,436
[O'Dell] All right, finally,
the excitement
370
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,522
of Paul Hogan returning to
the public eye was short-lived,
371
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:18,024
with some now asking
whether the Australian actor
372
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,735
threw the snake as a publicity
stunt
373
00:14:20,819 --> 00:14:23,405
in a vain attempt to
reinvigorate his acting career.
374
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:26,616
His acting career? [chuckles]
I think you're being too kind.
375
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,709
[phone rings]
376
00:14:37,294 --> 00:14:39,004
Hi, Grandpa!
377
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,548
Oh, Lucy! How are you, love?
378
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,341
What time is it over there?
379
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,344
Not sure, but early. I've got
rehearsals before school today.
380
00:14:46,428 --> 00:14:47,887
Oh? What's that for?
381
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:49,806
I'm doing the school play.
The Wizard of Oz.
382
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,934
Well, today is my first day.
You should come and watch!
383
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:56,938
Oh, I'd love to, kid, but, um...
it's too far away.
384
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,898
Mum said you've been
getting in trouble.
385
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,233
[Hogan] Who, me?
386
00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,568
[Lucy giggles] You!
387
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,278
[Hogan] Nah. She's probably
getting
388
00:15:03,361 --> 00:15:05,405
confused with someone else.
389
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,907
Oh. [sighs] I wish you'd
come back home, Grandpa.
390
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,702
Oh, believe me, kiddo, I'd be
back there in a heartbeat
391
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:14,164
if I thought my poor old dog
Paddy could handle the flight.
392
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:17,125
Especially now that Chase is
doing so well over here.
393
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:20,086
Yeah. I've heard about
Uncle Chase. [chuckles]
394
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,298
[laughs] Yeah! Never ceases
to amaze me, that kid.
395
00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:27,218
I think he's running a nightclub
out of his bedroom.
396
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:28,470
[Lucy giggles]
397
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,680
So, how's the new school going?
398
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,057
It's okay.
399
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,808
Made any new friends?
400
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,269
Grandpa?
401
00:15:36,353 --> 00:15:37,562
Yeah?
402
00:15:37,646 --> 00:15:38,938
I love you.
403
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,732
Oh, I love you too, sweetie.
404
00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:43,985
I'd better get going. Bye!
405
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,746
[Man] Valet?
406
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,539
Oh, yeah.
407
00:16:07,092 --> 00:16:09,135
Kimmel had a good one on you.
408
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,805
Oh, yeah, and Colbert. He did
a good five minutes on you.
409
00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:12,806
Great.
410
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:14,057
For somebody who just wants
411
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:15,475
a quiet life and to be
left alone,
412
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,227
you're not doing a very
good job of it.
413
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,770
Nah, I'm not, am I?
414
00:16:18,853 --> 00:16:20,855
Hey, talk is you're now
taking to hate crimes.
415
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:22,774
What next, the Klan?
416
00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:27,404
The studio! They wanted Will
Smith to play Dundee Jr!
417
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:28,405
Will Smith?
418
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,406
Yeah!
419
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,407
That's ridiculous!
420
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,408
I know!
421
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,492
I'll play Dundee.
422
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:33,868
What, you thought I'd retired?
423
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,745
I did Die Hard, for Chrissakes!
424
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:36,746
I know.
425
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:37,747
People love me!
426
00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:38,748
I know.
427
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:39,749
[Man] Yo! Where's Urkel?!
428
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,792
I did that too.
429
00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,252
Yeah, I know! [laughs]
430
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,548
[Latin band playing]
431
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,846
[laughs] Come on.
432
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,480
[gasps] Paul! Hi!
433
00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,024
Oh, Livvy! Hi!
434
00:17:05,108 --> 00:17:07,527
All right, see you.
435
00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,529
[laughs] Good to see you!
436
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,156
Oh, lovely!
437
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:12,157
Oh, you know Reggie.
438
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,158
Of course I do.
439
00:17:13,241 --> 00:17:14,659
How are you? Nice to see you.
440
00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:17,203
I was just thinking about you
the other day.
441
00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,329
Oh, really?
442
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,539
Yeah. I was thinking we haven't
443
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:20,749
seen each other for a long time
444
00:17:20,832 --> 00:17:22,000
and it's time we caught up.
445
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,293
Yeah. That'd be great.
446
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,919
Yeah. I've got a girlfriend
coming
447
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,130
to visit from home, Ella,
in a couple of weeks.
448
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:28,882
I thought that'd be
a great time.
449
00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,508
Yeah.
450
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,552
You know, I was just saying
that he needs a woman.
451
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,512
Perfect!
452
00:17:34,596 --> 00:17:37,682
So, um, what are you two guys
doing next Tuesday night?
453
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,934
Tuesday? Um...
454
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,229
Yeah, I'm doing this charity
thingy at my neighbor's school
455
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:45,064
and it's gonna be a lot of fun.
You should come.
456
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:46,775
Oh. Yeah.
457
00:17:46,858 --> 00:17:48,318
John said he might come along,
458
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,320
sing a couple of songs with me
from Grease.
459
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:52,739
And there's gonna be, like,
face painting and art stalls
460
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,866
and a barbie. You'll fit right
in.
461
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,410
Oh. [chuckles] Yeah. Yeah.
462
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,370
Oh. Oh! Tuesday.
463
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:02,040
Yeah, well, see, Tuesday,
I've got, um...
464
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,377
Pity... oh, pity it wasn't
Wednesday.
465
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,379
You know, 'cause if it had
been Wednesday,
466
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:09,881
I'd have been there with
bells on.
467
00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:10,882
Yeah.
468
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:11,925
Hold on!
469
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,093
I think it is Wednesday!
470
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,639
Oh. [chuckles]
471
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,475
It is Wednesday. That's great.
You can come.
472
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,810
Perfect.
473
00:18:21,893 --> 00:18:24,103
But look. Here's a flyer.
474
00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,105
It's all about helping kids
who can't help themselves.
475
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,733
Oh. I think it'll be great
you can go.
476
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,485
After all of the bad press,
477
00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,279
being seen at some charity event
is exactly what you need.
478
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:34,823
Thanks.
479
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,699
And, uh, maybe afterwards,
we can take a selfie
480
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,785
and remind the world
how much we love you.
481
00:18:38,868 --> 00:18:39,786
Oh, yeah.
482
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:40,787
[Reggie laughs]
483
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:41,955
[Olivia] Yeah.
484
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,719
Everything all right, sir?
485
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,180
Oh, yeah. Just looking for
the valet.
486
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,600
We don't have a valet.
487
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,936
This is a supermarket.
488
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:07,647
[groans]
489
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,360
[♪♪♪]
490
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,171
Hey, no. No filming unless
you've got money. Come on.
491
00:19:32,255 --> 00:19:35,049
What have you got? You got $5?
Or any coins or anything?
492
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,344
Oh, yeah, I grew this after
the movie. I'm the real guy.
493
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,345
You want a photo?
494
00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:40,430
Who are you meant to be?
495
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,473
Huh? Better than Batman, hey?
496
00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:44,976
Why don't you try picking on
someone your own size?
497
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,645
Oh, go away, grandad!
Oh, come on!
498
00:19:48,396 --> 00:19:49,898
What?
499
00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:52,275
Well, at least stop being rude
to the kids, Okay?
500
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,319
Oh, wow! I thought you were
dead!
501
00:19:54,402 --> 00:19:56,946
Well, I'm not, shit-for-brains.
502
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,281
Oh! [chuckles] Okay.
503
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,991
"Look out! He's got a knife!"
504
00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:02,577
Oh, yes. You have a knife,
but mine's bigger.
505
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,454
[young couple laugh]
506
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,497
So, you want a photo? Come on!
507
00:20:06,581 --> 00:20:07,749
That's not the line!
508
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:08,750
Yeah, it is.
509
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,959
No, it's not!
510
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,461
It's not the line!
511
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,546
I've been doing this
for 20 years. I think I'd know.
512
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,173
[scoffs] What?!
513
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,050
Go away. You're bad
for my business.
514
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,468
I am your business!
515
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,011
[laughs] Yeah, right!
516
00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,889
Hi. Uh...
517
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,141
I would love to take the photo?
518
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:26,225
Oh. Okay.
519
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:27,226
Yes?
520
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:28,227
Oh, just...
521
00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,228
Okay. Okay.
522
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,813
Yeah. Come here. Okay.
523
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,398
Come on!
524
00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,524
There you go.
525
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:34,901
[camera clicks]
526
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:35,902
Oh!
527
00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:37,153
[Woman] Thank you.
528
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,238
I'll show her my knife later.
Hey?
529
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,282
You are such a sack of shit.
530
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,534
[chuckles] Come on, boys! Hey?
531
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,535
Ha!
532
00:20:44,619 --> 00:20:46,079
That's it!
533
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:47,997
Oh, Wally! That's my boys! Yes!
534
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,375
Yeah! How's that for the real
thing? That's it!
535
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,793
[cameras click]
536
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,044
[growls]
537
00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:54,671
[Boys yell, punch]
538
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:59,133
Crocodile Dundee star
Paul Hogan
539
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:02,053
tried to strangle a child today
when what was seemingly
540
00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:04,055
a child's innocent request
for a photo
541
00:21:04,138 --> 00:21:06,349
enraged the obviously
troubled star.
542
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,601
[Hogan] Oh! You little mongrel!
[groans]
543
00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:10,687
I'll rip your little head off!
544
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,313
[Newsreader] Several onlookers,
545
00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:14,524
including Dorothy Springborg
from Delaware,
546
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,567
were almost caught up
in the brawl.
547
00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:18,277
It was disgusting.
548
00:21:18,361 --> 00:21:20,655
These were innocent children,
for heck's sake!
549
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:27,495
Um... oh, well, it wasn't as bad
as I thought.
550
00:21:27,578 --> 00:21:30,832
I... don't even feel like
I know you anymore.
551
00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,959
I can't even look at you!
552
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,336
I know. If you're worried
about it,
553
00:21:35,420 --> 00:21:36,879
book me on one of them
tonight shows.
554
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,589
Book you on one of those
tonight shows?
555
00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:40,258
I mean, apart from
being a punchline
556
00:21:40,341 --> 00:21:41,676
in their monologues lately,
557
00:21:41,759 --> 00:21:43,344
they're not gonna have you
on their show!
558
00:21:43,428 --> 00:21:44,762
God!
559
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,347
All right, well, what about
Ellen?
560
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,100
No! And you've killed any
chance of the knighthood.
561
00:21:49,183 --> 00:21:51,352
I mean, Paul, what were
you thinking?!
562
00:21:51,436 --> 00:21:53,104
I don't care about a knighthood.
563
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,440
But I do, Paul. I do.
564
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,109
I thought we were meeting
the Queen. And you agreed.
565
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,278
No, no. I never agreed
to any knighthood.
566
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,946
But I told them that you did!
567
00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:03,698
Well, tell 'em I didn't.
568
00:22:03,781 --> 00:22:05,491
Seriously? You want me
to cancel the knighthood?
569
00:22:05,575 --> 00:22:06,492
Absolutely.
570
00:22:06,576 --> 00:22:07,702
Want me to call the palace?
571
00:22:07,785 --> 00:22:09,078
Yeah, call it right now.
572
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:10,079
And tell them no?
573
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:11,080
Yep.
574
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,081
[phone rings]
575
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,082
Uh-huh. Oh, hang on.
576
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,252
I don't know why I bother.
577
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,920
I wish you wouldn't.
578
00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:18,921
[door opens]
579
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:21,507
Oi. You out of bread.
580
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,343
I wonder why.
581
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:25,720
Oh, hi, sweetie.
582
00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,680
Grandpa, are you getting
a knighthood?
583
00:22:27,764 --> 00:22:29,140
Uh...
584
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:30,808
'Cause Mum said you were,
585
00:22:30,892 --> 00:22:32,602
and I told some kids
at my new school you were,
586
00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:34,562
and they laughed and said
I'm a liar.
587
00:22:34,645 --> 00:22:36,439
I'm not a liar, am I, Grandpa?
588
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,858
No. You're not a liar.
589
00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:41,736
You are getting a knighthood?
590
00:22:41,819 --> 00:22:44,781
Uh... y... uh, yeah,
services to comedy.
591
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,075
Yes! I knew it! Bye, Pa!
592
00:22:47,158 --> 00:22:48,117
Bye, love.
593
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:49,118
[hangs up]
594
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:51,871
Oh, what a web we weave!
595
00:22:51,954 --> 00:22:53,081
[door opens]
596
00:22:53,164 --> 00:22:55,541
Ha. Just called the palace.
597
00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,336
They're really not happy.
[chuckles]
598
00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,421
Oh. Uh, see, here's the thing...
599
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:01,589
No.
600
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,882
You'll have to call 'em back.
601
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,175
No!
602
00:23:04,258 --> 00:23:06,052
Well, Lucy thinks
I'm getting it.
603
00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:08,012
I'm gonna look like an idiot!
604
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,430
Well, she told the kids
at school.
605
00:23:09,514 --> 00:23:10,431
They'll get over it.
606
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:11,432
No, they won't.
607
00:23:11,516 --> 00:23:12,433
It's a new school.
608
00:23:12,517 --> 00:23:13,476
She's trying to make friends.
609
00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:14,811
It's not happening.
610
00:23:14,894 --> 00:23:16,521
What about my, uh, legacy?
611
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:19,273
You know, uh... put Australia
on the map, had a TV show...
612
00:23:19,357 --> 00:23:21,400
Oh, and you always good
with the ladies!
613
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:23,569
Good with the la... ladies.
614
00:23:23,653 --> 00:23:25,404
Okay, fine! I will call them.
615
00:23:25,488 --> 00:23:27,448
But I am telling them
you're an idiot.
616
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:30,243
Great. Great. Love ya!
617
00:23:39,836 --> 00:23:41,796
Wow.
618
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:45,216
Is two o'clock. Is time
for your siesta.
619
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:48,094
Come on, Paddy. Help me cut
the grass.
620
00:23:57,687 --> 00:23:58,855
Ah.
621
00:24:00,565 --> 00:24:02,108
[doorbell rings]
622
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,776
Oh.
623
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:07,238
Wayne?
624
00:24:07,321 --> 00:24:08,990
I need somewhere to stay.
625
00:24:09,073 --> 00:24:11,367
Carol is driving me crazy!
626
00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:13,369
She keeps saying I'm too loud!
627
00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:14,412
Too loud?
628
00:24:14,495 --> 00:24:15,788
Yeah!
629
00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,623
And... and... and the kids
are crying.
630
00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:19,250
Crying? Uh...
631
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,377
I just need someplace quiet.
For a couple of days.
632
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,462
Uh... it's not really
a good time...
633
00:24:23,546 --> 00:24:25,131
Well, you won't even know
I'm here!
634
00:24:25,214 --> 00:24:28,509
I start rehearsals
on Broadway soon!
635
00:24:28,593 --> 00:24:29,844
I-I need to practice.
636
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:32,305
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
637
00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,892
If Carol asks...
638
00:24:35,975 --> 00:24:37,977
you haven't seen me. Yeah?
639
00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:39,228
[grunts]
640
00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:56,704
Ahh.
641
00:24:57,997 --> 00:24:59,665
[piano playing]
642
00:24:59,749 --> 00:25:01,792
[Wayne] ♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey
643
00:25:01,876 --> 00:25:04,003
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal
644
00:25:04,086 --> 00:25:06,339
♪ Send me a kiss by wire
645
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,424
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire
646
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,968
♪ If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me
647
00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:12,678
♪ Then you'll be left alone
648
00:25:12,762 --> 00:25:17,725
♪ Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! ♪
649
00:25:17,808 --> 00:25:19,685
[silence]
650
00:25:27,485 --> 00:25:28,611
[piano playing]
651
00:25:28,694 --> 00:25:29,612
♪ Hello, my baby
652
00:25:29,695 --> 00:25:30,613
[tap-dances]
653
00:25:30,696 --> 00:25:32,240
♪ Hello, my ragtime
654
00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:33,449
♪ Send me a kiss
655
00:25:33,532 --> 00:25:34,575
[Hogan groans]
656
00:25:34,659 --> 00:25:36,369
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire... ♪
657
00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,749
[laughs] Wait. So he sings?
658
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:44,126
Yeah. And he also tap-dances.
659
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:45,127
Oh.
660
00:25:45,211 --> 00:25:46,170
Evidently.
661
00:25:46,254 --> 00:25:47,713
Cop it.
662
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,715
♪ Send me a kiss by wire
Baby, my heart's... ♪
663
00:25:49,799 --> 00:25:53,803
Paul, you have three showers.
Why is he using your ensuite?
664
00:25:53,886 --> 00:25:57,139
Oh, he said the acoustics
are better in my bathroom.
665
00:25:57,223 --> 00:25:58,975
Oh, what time is
the Olivia thing?
666
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,977
Oh. That's now.
667
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,562
You know, I am so glad
you're doing this.
668
00:26:03,646 --> 00:26:06,232
And I really think people
are starting to forget
669
00:26:06,315 --> 00:26:08,150
that you threw a snake
at those bystanders.
670
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,194
And that you tried to beat up
those kids.
671
00:26:10,278 --> 00:26:11,946
And the Will Smith thing.
672
00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,073
But I honestly think it's
almost all behind us.
673
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:16,784
So it's the perfect time to be
seen with the lovely Livvy
674
00:26:16,867 --> 00:26:18,327
doing something for the kids.
675
00:26:18,411 --> 00:26:20,121
Oh, yeah, that'll be fun.
676
00:26:20,204 --> 00:26:21,998
Oh, do you want me to organize
a lift for you or something?
677
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,749
Oh, no, I've booked a car.
Thanks.
678
00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,084
Okay.
679
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:27,211
Oh, and Paul, I'm really sorry
680
00:26:27,295 --> 00:26:29,797
I've been so crazy about this
whole knighthood thing.
681
00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,425
I am just so proud of you
and the fact that I...
682
00:26:32,508 --> 00:26:33,426
Oh, there's my car now.
683
00:26:33,509 --> 00:26:34,427
get to be there with you...
684
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,095
I'd better go.
685
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:38,306
Hey, uh, give my love
to your mum.
686
00:26:39,515 --> 00:26:41,517
[sighs] Rude!
687
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:55,448
Paul!
688
00:26:55,531 --> 00:26:56,574
John?
689
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:06,667
Mint?
690
00:27:06,751 --> 00:27:08,085
Oh, uh, no, thanks.
691
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,545
Is the air all right?
692
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,088
Oh, yeah, excellent, John.
693
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,007
Good. Oh. Bottle of water?
694
00:27:13,090 --> 00:27:14,759
Oh, yes. Thank you.
695
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,594
Yeah, I love it.
696
00:27:16,677 --> 00:27:19,930
You know, I don't get stuck
behind a desk, I'm my own boss,
697
00:27:20,014 --> 00:27:22,058
I get to meet interesting
people,
698
00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,144
and, uh... let's face it,
these days,
699
00:27:25,227 --> 00:27:30,232
romantic leads for 79-year-old
actors are few and far between.
700
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:31,275
Mm-hm.
701
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:32,860
Tch! Hollywood!
702
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:34,403
You'd know all about that, eh?
703
00:27:34,487 --> 00:27:35,738
Yes, I...
704
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,825
[honks horn] You steaming turd!
705
00:27:42,203 --> 00:27:43,120
Um...
706
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:44,246
Hmm?
707
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:45,873
I don't mean to be nosy,
but, uh...
708
00:27:45,956 --> 00:27:47,875
you know, you're happy
driving and everything.
709
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:51,253
Uh... what happened after
all your success? I...
710
00:27:51,337 --> 00:27:54,965
Oh, the money. Uh, well,
you know, alimony.
711
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:55,966
Oh.
712
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:57,510
Parties.
713
00:27:57,593 --> 00:28:00,429
Drugs. [chuckles] Gambling.
714
00:28:00,513 --> 00:28:02,348
Hookers. [laughs]
715
00:28:02,431 --> 00:28:06,143
Prostitutes. Ladies of the
night.
716
00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,939
No, no, I'm being silly.
I never gamble.
717
00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:12,233
All right, here we are.
718
00:28:12,316 --> 00:28:14,610
[cheering and applause]
719
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,128
Huh. It looks bigger
than I thought.
720
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:36,298
♪ When you're facing
All kinds of trouble ♪
721
00:28:36,382 --> 00:28:38,634
Just hang on a sec.
722
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:43,472
[sighs] "A charity concert
for disadvantaged children."
723
00:28:43,556 --> 00:28:47,059
Ah. "Helping kids who can't
help themselves."
724
00:28:47,143 --> 00:28:48,477
Thanks, Johnno.
725
00:28:48,561 --> 00:28:49,770
Okay.
726
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,612
Mr. Hogan.
727
00:28:58,696 --> 00:28:59,613
Why are you here?
728
00:28:59,697 --> 00:29:01,031
Oh, Olivia asked me to come.
729
00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,700
But... why here?
730
00:29:02,783 --> 00:29:06,704
Oh, to help. To help these
unfortunate little people.
731
00:29:06,787 --> 00:29:10,249
And they need all the help
they can get. You know?
732
00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:12,877
I mean, they've had a raw deal
out of life,
733
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:15,796
and... it's up to us
to try and help 'em.
734
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,839
Mm-hm.
735
00:29:19,842 --> 00:29:21,635
♪ Give it up ♪
736
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:24,805
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
737
00:29:24,889 --> 00:29:26,390
[Reporter] Oh, really?
738
00:29:26,474 --> 00:29:28,184
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
I don't pity them.
739
00:29:28,267 --> 00:29:31,270
They're having a little,
uh... concert in here tonight,
740
00:29:31,353 --> 00:29:33,898
and some of 'em are gonna
get up and try and sing.
741
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:35,983
Try and sing?
742
00:29:36,066 --> 00:29:37,318
Okay...
743
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:38,861
Oh, my pl... my pleasure.
744
00:29:38,944 --> 00:29:40,821
Uh, Mr. Hogan, do you mind
745
00:29:40,905 --> 00:29:43,115
clarifying some of
your comments tonight?
746
00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:44,825
Oh, it's pretty simple.
747
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:48,412
I'm here to help those
less fortunate than I am
748
00:29:48,496 --> 00:29:51,165
and, um... help them
in any way I can.
749
00:29:51,248 --> 00:29:52,458
"Help"?
750
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:53,501
Yeah.
751
00:29:53,584 --> 00:29:54,502
You're trying to help?
752
00:29:54,585 --> 00:29:55,461
Yeah.
753
00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:57,922
Paul?
754
00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,640
Thank you, Mr. Hogan.
755
00:30:11,352 --> 00:30:12,770
Did he just say what...
756
00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:13,979
No. I'm not...
757
00:30:16,232 --> 00:30:18,108
[phone rings]
758
00:30:20,528 --> 00:30:22,029
[rejects call]
759
00:30:24,657 --> 00:30:26,951
[honky-tonk piano playing]
760
00:30:27,910 --> 00:30:29,745
[gasps] You're here!
761
00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:31,830
Anything for you, Livvy.
And the kids.
762
00:30:31,914 --> 00:30:33,374
Of course.
763
00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,626
Sister Mary, I'd like you
to meet Paul.
764
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,878
Sister Mary is our wonderful
fundraiser.
765
00:30:37,962 --> 00:30:40,839
It's a great pleasure
to meet you, Mr. Dundee.
766
00:30:40,923 --> 00:30:42,675
Oh. Pleasure to meet you too
Mary.
767
00:30:43,968 --> 00:30:45,886
It's John. I need a favor.
768
00:30:48,222 --> 00:30:50,474
["You're the One That I Want"
playing]
769
00:30:50,558 --> 00:30:52,726
[All cheer wildly]
770
00:30:57,565 --> 00:30:59,608
[Audience clapping in time]
771
00:30:59,692 --> 00:31:00,985
[mouthing words]
772
00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:02,444
[mouthing words]
773
00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:14,081
[Audience] ♪ I got chills,
they're multiplyin'
774
00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:17,710
♪ And I'm losing control
775
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:18,711
Lose control, baby!
776
00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:19,920
[squeals]
777
00:31:20,004 --> 00:31:23,173
♪ 'Cause the power you're
supplyin'
778
00:31:23,257 --> 00:31:25,801
♪ It's electrifyin'
779
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,928
Where's Johnny?
780
00:31:28,012 --> 00:31:29,388
[sings flatly]
♪ You'd better shape up
781
00:31:29,471 --> 00:31:30,639
[booing]
782
00:31:30,723 --> 00:31:32,683
♪ 'Cause I need a man
783
00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,184
What the hell is this?!
784
00:31:34,268 --> 00:31:36,020
♪ And my heart is set on you
785
00:31:36,103 --> 00:31:37,354
Get off the damn stage!
786
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:38,355
♪ Shape up
787
00:31:38,439 --> 00:31:40,107
Boo! You're not Johnny T!
788
00:31:40,190 --> 00:31:41,692
♪ You'd better understand
789
00:31:41,775 --> 00:31:43,235
You're ruining the show, man!
Where's Johnny T?!
790
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:44,695
I hate you!
791
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:46,405
Get off the damn stage,
popsicle!
792
00:31:46,488 --> 00:31:48,365
♪ Nothing left for me to do
793
00:31:48,449 --> 00:31:50,492
♪ You're the one that I want
794
00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:52,745
Boo! God, get off the stage!
795
00:31:52,828 --> 00:31:54,163
You're not the one that we want!
796
00:31:54,246 --> 00:31:55,205
Where's Johnny T?!
797
00:31:55,289 --> 00:31:56,248
Where's Johnny?!
798
00:31:56,332 --> 00:31:57,833
Please calm down.
799
00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:00,127
I'm sorry, Sister. You got
Jesus, we got Johnny!
800
00:32:00,210 --> 00:32:02,004
We did not ask for this tragedy!
801
00:32:02,087 --> 00:32:04,548
You have no idea how much
he loves Johnny!
802
00:32:04,632 --> 00:32:06,050
Sister, you have Jesus,
we have Johnny!
803
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,176
[sobs] This is not...
804
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:08,344
Hey, don't cry, honey.
805
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:09,386
I'm gonna get up there
806
00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:10,596
and kick the grease outta you!
807
00:32:10,679 --> 00:32:11,680
Do something!
808
00:32:11,764 --> 00:32:12,681
I'm doing it!
809
00:32:14,016 --> 00:32:14,892
[All gasp]
810
00:32:18,812 --> 00:32:20,773
[All exclaim]
811
00:32:22,566 --> 00:32:23,525
[thump]
812
00:32:30,658 --> 00:32:32,076
He's killed a nun!
813
00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:33,661
[Man] He's killed a nun!
814
00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:35,162
Oh, you're going to hell
now, buddy.
815
00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:37,956
Burn! Burn in hell!
816
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:39,124
It's okay, babe.
817
00:32:42,836 --> 00:32:43,796
She's alive!
818
00:32:43,879 --> 00:32:44,797
[All exclaim]
819
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,423
She's alive!
820
00:32:46,507 --> 00:32:49,051
[muted applause]
821
00:32:53,639 --> 00:32:56,058
[booing, jeering]
822
00:32:59,895 --> 00:33:01,689
[sighs]
823
00:33:17,538 --> 00:33:18,997
Ow!
824
00:33:19,081 --> 00:33:20,457
Ooh!
825
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,751
[groans]
826
00:33:22,835 --> 00:33:25,170
No, no, no! I'm Luke!
827
00:33:25,254 --> 00:33:26,922
I'm a wedding photographer!
828
00:33:27,005 --> 00:33:28,674
I'm from Indiana!
829
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:29,883
And?
830
00:33:29,967 --> 00:33:31,802
[pants] Um...
831
00:33:31,885 --> 00:33:33,303
That's, uh...
832
00:33:33,387 --> 00:33:34,763
That's all I got.
833
00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:38,016
What was so interesting
up my tree?
834
00:33:38,100 --> 00:33:39,768
Okay, look. [pants]
835
00:33:39,852 --> 00:33:42,396
I, uh... I was
a wedding photographer.
836
00:33:42,479 --> 00:33:44,815
Till I messed things up.
I went to the wrong wedding.
837
00:33:44,898 --> 00:33:47,067
Oh, the other photographer
got so mad at me,
838
00:33:47,151 --> 00:33:49,027
and then no-one would hire me.
839
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,864
But then my mom, she got me
a job at a magazine.
840
00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:54,783
So, I go out, they ask me
to go get a photo of Eric Bana,
841
00:33:54,867 --> 00:33:56,201
'cause he was visiting our town,
842
00:33:56,285 --> 00:33:57,870
but I got confused.
843
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,038
I went and got a picture
of Eric Banana.
844
00:34:00,122 --> 00:34:02,416
The fruit king. [laughs]
Do you know him?
845
00:34:02,499 --> 00:34:05,043
He knows so much about fruit!
[laughs]
846
00:34:05,127 --> 00:34:07,296
After that, my boss,
he just suggested
847
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:10,132
that I should just move far
away, you know, maybe to LA,
848
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:13,218
and become a...
freelance paparazzo.
849
00:34:13,302 --> 00:34:15,262
Oh, great. That's what we need.
850
00:34:15,345 --> 00:34:17,473
Another idiot taking photos
of me.
851
00:34:17,556 --> 00:34:20,726
Actually, no, I'm trying to get
a photo of Kim Kardashian.
852
00:34:20,809 --> 00:34:23,353
But, yeah, I can't find
where her house is.
853
00:34:23,437 --> 00:34:25,439
She is so sneaky.
854
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:29,443
Anyway, I took the star tour
and we went past here.
855
00:34:29,526 --> 00:34:32,821
Oh, so I'm still on the star
map, am I? [chuckles]
856
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:36,074
No. No, you're not.
But you know who is?
857
00:34:36,158 --> 00:34:38,368
Bob Saget from Full House!
858
00:34:38,452 --> 00:34:40,454
[laughs] He's, like,
your neighbor!
859
00:34:40,537 --> 00:34:42,998
We all got out. We were taking
pictures of his place.
860
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,374
It was so awesome.
861
00:34:44,458 --> 00:34:46,710
Yeah, and then I looked over
and I saw you.
862
00:34:46,794 --> 00:34:48,587
You were, like, getting
your trash cans or something.
863
00:34:48,670 --> 00:34:50,714
And I was like,
"Hey! That's Paul Hogan!"
864
00:34:50,798 --> 00:34:52,382
And then the driver
was like, "No.
865
00:34:52,466 --> 00:34:54,092
"No, that's not Paul Hogan.
He's dead."
866
00:34:54,176 --> 00:34:55,719
He said that?
867
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:56,804
Yeah.
868
00:34:56,887 --> 00:34:59,389
I'm glad you're not dead, Paul.
869
00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:02,601
Look, uh... listen,
I don't want to do this. I'm...
870
00:35:02,684 --> 00:35:05,729
It's just... you're the only
celebrity friend I have.
871
00:35:05,813 --> 00:35:09,650
Do you know, maybe? Do you know
where Kim Kardashian lives?
872
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:12,736
Look, if you're looking
for celebrities,
873
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,404
go down to Melrose Avenue.
874
00:35:14,488 --> 00:35:15,823
That's where they all hang out.
875
00:35:15,906 --> 00:35:17,574
Okay. Okay.
876
00:35:17,658 --> 00:35:19,409
Or you know what?
I could stay here.
877
00:35:19,493 --> 00:35:20,410
No.
878
00:35:20,494 --> 00:35:21,411
Aw!
879
00:35:21,495 --> 00:35:23,288
No? It's fine. Okay.
880
00:35:23,372 --> 00:35:25,749
Do you... What's the best way
to get to this Melrose?
881
00:35:25,833 --> 00:35:26,834
Drive there.
882
00:35:26,917 --> 00:35:28,293
Drive there? Got it.
883
00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:29,920
I don't have a car.
884
00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,421
Bloody hell.
885
00:35:31,505 --> 00:35:33,006
You know what? That's fine.
886
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,050
That's fine. I can hitch.
887
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:36,802
[laughs] It works.
888
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:41,807
All right. So, I will do that.
I'll just get my... my stuff.
889
00:35:41,890 --> 00:35:44,268
Ohh! [grunts]
890
00:35:44,351 --> 00:35:46,019
It's... Whoo!
891
00:35:46,103 --> 00:35:48,438
Don't worry about me.
It's not as heavy as it looks.
892
00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:49,982
It's all good.
893
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:51,942
[Hogan] Uh...
894
00:35:52,025 --> 00:35:53,402
That way.
895
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,904
Of course it is. [laughs]
896
00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:57,573
Wish I would have
known that earlier.
897
00:35:57,656 --> 00:35:59,575
This is not a backpack. Ohh!
898
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:01,827
All right, well, hey, it was
great meeting you, Paul.
899
00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,662
Okay.
900
00:36:05,998 --> 00:36:07,541
Did you say something?
901
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,753
I thought you said "aww."
I heard some "aww."
902
00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,172
No. No. No.
903
00:36:16,425 --> 00:36:18,677
I really wish we could hang out
longer.
904
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,429
But I gotta get going.
905
00:36:25,142 --> 00:36:27,519
[whistling]
906
00:36:27,603 --> 00:36:29,313
[tap-dancing]
907
00:36:31,481 --> 00:36:32,524
[groans]
908
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:34,443
[Wayne] ♪ I'm your all! ♪
909
00:36:34,526 --> 00:36:36,194
Though, the police vow
they will continue
910
00:36:36,278 --> 00:36:37,863
to search for the Phantom
Valet,
911
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:41,199
claiming he has now stolen
upwards of 85 motor vehicles.
912
00:36:41,283 --> 00:36:44,786
In other news, it was all the
talk of the BT Awards tonight
913
00:36:44,870 --> 00:36:46,955
when ex-movie star Paul Hogan
914
00:36:47,039 --> 00:36:48,790
got himself in
a lot of trouble.
915
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:50,417
Mr. Hogan, why are you here?
916
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:53,670
To help these unfortunate
little people.
917
00:36:53,754 --> 00:36:55,505
And they need all the help
they can g...
918
00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:58,133
I'm an ambassador for
Australia, Okay, for tourism,
919
00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:02,304
but... to be honest...
you know, I...
920
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:04,890
...I've started telling people
I'm from New Zealand.
921
00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:08,352
Yeah, I... I even married one.
You know? So...
922
00:37:08,435 --> 00:37:11,563
Look, I don't know what
Hogan's problem is.
923
00:37:11,647 --> 00:37:13,982
Uh, maybe he thinks it's funny,
I don't know.
924
00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,776
But, you know, as with
Lightning Jack,
925
00:37:15,859 --> 00:37:17,319
no-one else is laughing.
926
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,529
I was with some friends
the other night.
927
00:37:19,613 --> 00:37:22,783
Mike Tyson, Mickey Rourke,
Charlie Sheen.
928
00:37:23,742 --> 00:37:25,327
We all agreed
929
00:37:25,410 --> 00:37:29,581
that no-one's fallen from grace
as hard as Paul Hogan.
930
00:37:31,124 --> 00:37:33,335
It's embarrassing.
Is it the drugs?
931
00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:34,878
[changes channel]
932
00:37:34,962 --> 00:37:36,129
[phone chimes]
933
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,762
Oh, bummer.
934
00:37:43,845 --> 00:37:46,390
Oh, well. You're happy here,
aren't you?
935
00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:53,730
[Narrator] Australia.
There's no place like it.
936
00:37:53,814 --> 00:37:56,024
I'll see you next week, Barry.
937
00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:59,111
Not a lot of crocs
out here, huh?
938
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:03,073
Just 37,000 miles of pristine,
beautiful beach, mate.
939
00:38:03,156 --> 00:38:04,491
Like I don't know that!
940
00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:18,296
[dance music playing]
941
00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:20,549
Alrighty, guys. Good morning.
942
00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,634
You ready to feel the burn
in your legs and in your soul?
943
00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:25,429
Let's go! G'day, man.
How are you, mate?
944
00:38:25,512 --> 00:38:28,807
Ready, guys? Limber up
and get ready.
945
00:38:28,890 --> 00:38:30,726
Kick! One. Two.
946
00:38:30,809 --> 00:38:33,729
Three. Feel the burn.
Feel the pain.
947
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,731
It's gonna hurt. Not gonna lie.
948
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,191
[music continues outside]
949
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:45,741
[Chase] Bring in the energy.
[blows whistle]
950
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,620
Bit of this. Bit of that.
951
00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:53,081
He teaches aerobics now?
952
00:38:55,625 --> 00:38:57,002
Come on!
953
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,754
Squat! Squat!
954
00:39:00,464 --> 00:39:01,965
Hey, Dad.
955
00:39:02,049 --> 00:39:03,842
You want some breakfast?
956
00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,510
Nah. Nah, I'm right. I got this.
957
00:39:05,594 --> 00:39:07,763
Why don't you put your gear on
and come out?
958
00:39:07,846 --> 00:39:09,473
[chuckles] Uh, yeah.
959
00:39:10,432 --> 00:39:11,933
All right.
960
00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:17,105
Hold. Pulse. Pulse. Pulse.
Pulse.
961
00:39:24,863 --> 00:39:26,823
What do you reckon, guys?
962
00:39:26,907 --> 00:39:28,742
[all applaud]
963
00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:31,703
Very nice. Very, very nice.
964
00:39:31,787 --> 00:39:35,582
[Angie] The woman is 81
years old and a nun.
965
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:38,168
I just need to know, why?
966
00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,169
Ha!
967
00:39:39,252 --> 00:39:40,170
She was annoying me.
968
00:39:40,253 --> 00:39:41,171
She was annoying you?!
969
00:39:41,254 --> 00:39:42,172
No!
970
00:39:42,255 --> 00:39:43,423
Look, it was an accident.
971
00:39:43,507 --> 00:39:45,842
Okay. So, just so I get this
right
972
00:39:45,926 --> 00:39:47,761
when I call the palace,
973
00:39:47,844 --> 00:39:51,098
you, um, threw a deadly snake
at a fifth-grade teacher,
974
00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:53,433
insulted an African-American
superstar,
975
00:39:53,517 --> 00:39:55,102
attempted to beat up
two children,
976
00:39:55,185 --> 00:39:56,686
offended the entire
black community
977
00:39:56,770 --> 00:39:58,230
and knocked out a nun?
978
00:39:58,313 --> 00:39:59,564
What am I forgetting here?
979
00:39:59,648 --> 00:40:01,149
Why are you calling the palace?
980
00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,443
I'm calling the palace
to cancel the knighthood!
981
00:40:03,527 --> 00:40:07,197
Before they find out about you
and do it for us.
982
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,367
Paul, I am trying
to get out of this
983
00:40:10,450 --> 00:40:13,578
with a teeny-tiny amount
of dignity.
984
00:40:13,662 --> 00:40:15,914
[Hogan chuckles]
985
00:40:15,997 --> 00:40:17,999
Okay, what time is it
in London right now?
986
00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:21,628
Uh, no. Don't call the palace.
Don't cancel the knighthood.
987
00:40:21,711 --> 00:40:23,088
I promised Lucy.
988
00:40:23,171 --> 00:40:24,548
Okay, fine. Fine.
989
00:40:24,631 --> 00:40:26,758
I'm just... I'm amazed
that the media
990
00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,802
hasn't picked up on this story
yet.
991
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:31,304
And thank God she's okay.
This woman, this, um, Sister...
992
00:40:31,388 --> 00:40:32,973
Mary Murphy.
993
00:40:33,056 --> 00:40:34,015
Mary Murphy.
994
00:40:34,099 --> 00:40:35,600
And do you know why
995
00:40:35,684 --> 00:40:37,686
the media hasn't picked up
on the story yet?
996
00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:42,732
Because I have been up since 2am
calling every contact I know.
997
00:40:42,816 --> 00:40:44,192
I...
998
00:40:44,276 --> 00:40:45,569
Are you even listening to me?
999
00:40:45,652 --> 00:40:47,154
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
1000
00:40:47,237 --> 00:40:48,905
What are you... Hey!
1001
00:40:48,989 --> 00:40:50,782
I have been up all night
calling in favors,
1002
00:40:50,866 --> 00:40:52,409
a lot of which I am
really not proud of,
1003
00:40:52,492 --> 00:40:54,411
all so they wouldn't run
this story!
1004
00:40:54,494 --> 00:40:57,038
Oh, yeah. Look, I appreciate
that too.
1005
00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,707
But I was thinking, um,
1006
00:40:58,790 --> 00:41:01,209
why don't you try and get me
on some of the tonight shows?
1007
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:02,919
What? No! No.
1008
00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:06,047
Forget the tonight shows.
They're not interested.
1009
00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:09,301
And, Paul, why do you want to
draw more attention to yourself?
1010
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,761
Okay, I'll tell you what.
1011
00:41:11,845 --> 00:41:14,890
I will hold off
on calling the palace
1012
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,225
if you agree to have lunch
1013
00:41:17,309 --> 00:41:19,603
with someone who is willing
to get you off the front pages.
1014
00:41:19,686 --> 00:41:21,396
Who?
1015
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,399
A decent, respectable,
dignified man.
1016
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:25,817
Oh. Some actor.
1017
00:41:25,901 --> 00:41:28,695
No, an acrobat. Yes, an actor!
1018
00:41:28,778 --> 00:41:31,531
Look, I don't want to have
lunch with some actor.
1019
00:41:31,615 --> 00:41:33,241
I don't have lunch with anybody.
1020
00:41:33,325 --> 00:41:35,911
Well, if you don't want me
to cancel the knighthood,
1021
00:41:35,994 --> 00:41:37,329
you're going.
1022
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:40,165
I mean, he's willing
to sit down with you
1023
00:41:40,248 --> 00:41:44,377
and spend time to explain
what it's like to be respectful
1024
00:41:44,461 --> 00:41:46,671
and... and someone... who...
1025
00:41:50,550 --> 00:41:52,260
You're on TV right now,
aren't you?
1026
00:41:55,305 --> 00:41:56,973
How bad is it?
1027
00:41:57,057 --> 00:41:59,309
Uh...
1028
00:41:59,392 --> 00:42:02,354
Yeah, Okay, so, where am I gonna
have lunch with this guy?
1029
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,939
Oh, God.
1030
00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:09,361
[jazz piano playing]
1031
00:42:15,492 --> 00:42:17,160
Paul!
1032
00:42:17,953 --> 00:42:19,537
Oh. Chevy.
1033
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:23,875
Ah. Oh.
1034
00:42:23,959 --> 00:42:25,585
This is, uh, pretty nice.
1035
00:42:25,669 --> 00:42:28,421
Oh, yeah. Nice atmosphere,
great food.
1036
00:42:28,505 --> 00:42:30,298
Can I take...
1037
00:42:31,424 --> 00:42:32,592
Oh, my goodness!
1038
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:33,635
Oh!
1039
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:34,719
Lovely to meet you.
1040
00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:36,221
Oh! [giggles]
1041
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:37,639
I just have to say,
1042
00:42:37,722 --> 00:42:39,641
watching you perform
on Saturday Night Live
1043
00:42:39,724 --> 00:42:41,268
made me want to become
a comedian. [giggles]
1044
00:42:41,351 --> 00:42:43,520
Oh. How's that working out
for you?
1045
00:42:43,603 --> 00:42:47,107
Well, I'm working here as
a waitress, so... not so great.
1046
00:42:47,190 --> 00:42:49,442
Well, it takes intense training.
1047
00:42:49,526 --> 00:42:53,488
But still, um... can I please
buy you a drink on the house?
1048
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:54,948
Oh, that'd be lovely.
1049
00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:58,410
How about a glass, um...
Brown Brothers SMC?
1050
00:42:58,493 --> 00:43:01,454
Oh, I love it. I love it.
Paul, would you...
1051
00:43:01,538 --> 00:43:03,581
Yeah, I'll... I'll have
the same, thanks.
1052
00:43:04,916 --> 00:43:07,294
You are aware that is $40
a glass?
1053
00:43:07,377 --> 00:43:09,296
Sure.
1054
00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,217
You... do know who this is?
1055
00:43:14,301 --> 00:43:15,552
Yep.
1056
00:43:18,179 --> 00:43:20,598
Wow. You've really been through
the wars, haven't you?
1057
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:22,017
[Chevy laughs]
1058
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:24,102
Nah, it's fine. It's just,
my manager...
1059
00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,895
People ask me constantly,
1060
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:28,106
how is it that I'm so loved
and adored?
1061
00:43:28,189 --> 00:43:30,025
And, you know, it's actually
quite easy.
1062
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:31,735
How?
1063
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,571
Just win an Oscar.
1064
00:43:34,654 --> 00:43:36,197
Ah.
1065
00:43:36,281 --> 00:43:38,533
Wh... what did you win
an Oscar for?
1066
00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:40,910
Caddyshack. First one.
1067
00:43:40,994 --> 00:43:42,370
Uh-huh.
1068
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,496
Yeah.
1069
00:43:43,580 --> 00:43:44,748
You win one of those suckers,
1070
00:43:44,831 --> 00:43:46,041
you can do just about anything.
1071
00:43:46,124 --> 00:43:47,500
Really?
1072
00:43:48,668 --> 00:43:50,295
[plate smashes]
1073
00:43:51,171 --> 00:43:52,339
Huh.
1074
00:43:52,422 --> 00:43:53,506
Are you okay, Mr. Chase?
1075
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,175
Yes. You need to have these
fixed.
1076
00:43:55,258 --> 00:43:57,510
It just slid right off
the table.
1077
00:43:58,470 --> 00:43:59,846
Certainly.
1078
00:43:59,929 --> 00:44:02,807
I'll talk to the owner
about... gluing them on.
1079
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,232
Um, listen. I was nominated
for an Academy Award once.
1080
00:44:11,316 --> 00:44:13,401
Really? What for?
1081
00:44:13,485 --> 00:44:15,487
Couldn't have been acting.
No offense.
1082
00:44:15,570 --> 00:44:19,532
It was for writing.
Best Screenplay.
1083
00:44:19,616 --> 00:44:21,743
Writing! Wow.
1084
00:44:21,826 --> 00:44:23,870
I didn't know that was still
a category.
1085
00:44:23,953 --> 00:44:26,247
What's next, Best Catering?
[chuckles]
1086
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:28,249
Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Chase.
1087
00:44:28,333 --> 00:44:30,835
I am so sorry to interrupt you,
but I just have to say,
1088
00:44:30,919 --> 00:44:33,880
you were hilarious
in The Three Amigos.
1089
00:44:33,963 --> 00:44:35,715
Whoa! Blew me away.
1090
00:44:35,799 --> 00:44:40,178
Oh, and European Vacation?
You are an amazing man!
1091
00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:42,722
Oh, come on, now.
You're being silly.
1092
00:44:42,806 --> 00:44:43,807
[giggles]
1093
00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:45,141
We're all just human beings.
1094
00:44:45,225 --> 00:44:46,851
I'm exactly like you.
1095
00:44:46,935 --> 00:44:48,186
Except for the Oscar.
1096
00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:51,773
You have an Oscar?
1097
00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:53,066
Maybe.
1098
00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:57,612
Mm-hm.
1099
00:44:57,695 --> 00:44:58,905
She's cute.
1100
00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:00,657
Yeah.
1101
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:02,659
Chevy! Are we still on
for badminton?
1102
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:04,035
Absolutely.
1103
00:45:04,119 --> 00:45:06,329
And, Paul. How are you?
1104
00:45:06,413 --> 00:45:08,206
Oh. I'm good.
1105
00:45:08,289 --> 00:45:09,457
Great.
1106
00:45:09,541 --> 00:45:11,292
We've actually been
meaning to call.
1107
00:45:11,376 --> 00:45:14,629
We've had a good think, and
whilst we know you're not keen,
1108
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:17,799
if you'd just put on the hat
one last time,
1109
00:45:17,882 --> 00:45:20,427
we have a killer idea.
1110
00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:21,845
Oh.
1111
00:45:21,928 --> 00:45:25,432
[Barry] Dundee is angry.
Why is he angry?
1112
00:45:25,515 --> 00:45:28,476
Wait for it... His wife,
Sue, is dead.
1113
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:29,769
Dead?
1114
00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,271
Eaten by a crocodile.
1115
00:45:31,354 --> 00:45:33,064
You want revenge.
1116
00:45:33,148 --> 00:45:35,525
You enlist the help of a
gorgeous young park ranger
1117
00:45:35,608 --> 00:45:37,444
and boom! New love interest.
1118
00:45:37,527 --> 00:45:39,320
Sounds great. Sounds great.
1119
00:45:39,404 --> 00:45:41,656
You want to know who plays
the gorgeous park ranger?
1120
00:45:41,739 --> 00:45:43,450
Rachel McAdams!
1121
00:45:43,533 --> 00:45:44,826
Wow!
1122
00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:46,202
As the love interest.
1123
00:45:46,286 --> 00:45:47,579
[Hogan] Rachel McAdams?
1124
00:45:47,662 --> 00:45:49,414
[chuckles] No.
1125
00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:51,374
Oh, come on. You don't like
Rachel McAdams?
1126
00:45:51,458 --> 00:45:52,792
I love Rachel McAdams.
1127
00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:54,836
She's great. Okay?
1128
00:45:54,919 --> 00:45:58,089
I'm bloody 80. She's, what, 30?
1129
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:01,217
He does have a point.
1130
00:46:01,301 --> 00:46:02,594
He's right.
1131
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:03,720
She's too old.
1132
00:46:03,803 --> 00:46:05,138
No, that's not what I'm...
1133
00:46:05,221 --> 00:46:07,140
Do you have the list
for High School Musical?
1134
00:46:07,223 --> 00:46:08,558
Yep.
1135
00:46:09,559 --> 00:46:10,685
Selena Gomez!
1136
00:46:10,768 --> 00:46:11,769
Emma Watson.
1137
00:46:11,853 --> 00:46:13,104
Abigail Breslin!
1138
00:46:13,188 --> 00:46:14,147
Yes!
1139
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,190
[laughs]
1140
00:46:15,273 --> 00:46:16,900
No! No!
1141
00:46:18,151 --> 00:46:19,652
You know something?
1142
00:46:19,736 --> 00:46:22,405
You're actually being
very, very difficult.
1143
00:46:22,489 --> 00:46:23,865
Oh.
1144
00:46:23,948 --> 00:46:25,783
He does have a point.
1145
00:46:25,867 --> 00:46:27,452
Mr. Chase.
1146
00:46:27,535 --> 00:46:28,870
Paul.
1147
00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,121
Yeah. [chuckles]
1148
00:46:30,205 --> 00:46:31,873
Oh. So, yeah, thanks, Chevy.
1149
00:46:31,956 --> 00:46:33,833
Oh, look at the time. Um...
1150
00:46:33,917 --> 00:46:36,461
Yeah, I've got to leave, Chevy.
I've got an appointment.
1151
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:39,005
Oh, really? Uh... Check, please.
1152
00:46:39,088 --> 00:46:40,632
Here. I'll fix it.
1153
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:42,175
No, don't be silly.
1154
00:46:42,258 --> 00:46:43,927
Put that away. I've got this.
1155
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:44,928
Are you sure?
1156
00:46:45,011 --> 00:46:46,554
Of course. My pleasure.
1157
00:46:46,638 --> 00:46:48,765
With everything you have going
on, it's the least I can do.
1158
00:46:50,016 --> 00:46:51,184
Yeah. Thanks.
1159
00:46:51,267 --> 00:46:53,186
Good to see you.
1160
00:46:54,687 --> 00:46:56,356
Thanks.
1161
00:46:56,439 --> 00:46:57,732
Uh, excuse me?
1162
00:46:58,983 --> 00:47:00,360
Was that Chevy Chase?
1163
00:47:00,443 --> 00:47:02,195
Yep.
1164
00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:04,489
[giggles] He's lovely!
1165
00:47:04,572 --> 00:47:05,990
Uh, is he lovely?
1166
00:47:06,074 --> 00:47:08,618
Oh, yeah, he's...
he's, uh, very nice. Yeah.
1167
00:47:08,701 --> 00:47:10,954
[Woman] I knew he would be.
1168
00:47:12,997 --> 00:47:14,791
Yep. [sighs]
1169
00:47:16,251 --> 00:47:17,710
I love that guy.
1170
00:47:17,794 --> 00:47:21,214
National Lampoon's Vacation.
Fantastic.
1171
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:24,092
[Man] Oi! He didn't pay
for his wine!
1172
00:47:25,218 --> 00:47:26,803
[squeals]
1173
00:47:26,886 --> 00:47:28,304
[Hogan groans]
1174
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:36,980
[Ryan on TV]: And that's all
from me, Ryan Elcar,
1175
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:38,565
and the team here at LA Local.
1176
00:47:38,648 --> 00:47:40,441
Be sure to keep watching
throughout the evening
1177
00:47:40,525 --> 00:47:42,110
for regular updates,
1178
00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:45,238
and tune from 5am tomorrow
when Suzanne O'Reilly
1179
00:47:45,321 --> 00:47:47,907
takes you through what
you missed overnight...
1180
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:53,371
[Chase] ♪ I gave my love
a cherry
1181
00:47:53,454 --> 00:47:57,125
♪ That had no stone
1182
00:47:57,208 --> 00:48:01,462
♪ I gave my love a chicken
1183
00:48:01,546 --> 00:48:05,466
♪ That had no bones
1184
00:48:05,550 --> 00:48:09,429
♪ I gave my love a story
1185
00:48:09,512 --> 00:48:13,141
♪ That had no end
1186
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:17,395
♪ I gave my love a baby
1187
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,646
♪ With no... ♪
1188
00:48:18,730 --> 00:48:19,772
Kid can sing.
1189
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:24,027
[Man on TV]: Oh, yeah, I heard.
All right, look.
1190
00:48:24,110 --> 00:48:26,404
When I first heard about
the snake incident,
1191
00:48:26,487 --> 00:48:28,197
I was pretty upset,
'cause I thought
1192
00:48:28,281 --> 00:48:29,616
Paul Hogan was already dead.
1193
00:48:29,699 --> 00:48:31,075
He's been away so...
1194
00:48:31,159 --> 00:48:32,702
I have to go on stage
every time and,
1195
00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:34,746
"Is that a knife?
Is this not a knife?
1196
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,331
"Is that a microphone?"
1197
00:48:36,414 --> 00:48:38,207
[Man] When asked about
their close friendship,
1198
00:48:38,291 --> 00:48:39,959
the Oscar-winner Gary Oldman
1199
00:48:40,043 --> 00:48:41,753
denied ever meeting
the troubled star...
1200
00:48:41,836 --> 00:48:43,588
Am I allowed to say
"[bleep]-wit"?
1201
00:48:43,671 --> 00:48:44,714
He's a [bleep...
1202
00:48:44,797 --> 00:48:46,174
[Woman] Though, John Travolta
1203
00:48:46,257 --> 00:48:47,508
refused to discuss Mr. Hogan.
1204
00:48:47,592 --> 00:48:50,303
No. No. That's a very dangerous
thing.
1205
00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:52,305
[Woman] However, he released
a statement:
1206
00:48:52,388 --> 00:48:54,098
"I don't care what he does,
1207
00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,017
"but the moment he stands
on stage with my Olivia
1208
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:59,979
"and tries to destroy our
legacy, he's gone too far."
1209
00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:03,983
Hey. When did you learn
to play guitar?
1210
00:49:04,067 --> 00:49:05,735
A couple of weeks ago.
1211
00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:07,153
Course. [chuckles]
1212
00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:08,279
You should come out.
1213
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:09,280
We're gonna have a barbie,
1214
00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:10,281
play some more tunes.
1215
00:49:10,365 --> 00:49:11,616
Okay.
1216
00:49:11,699 --> 00:49:13,660
Oh, I've got a Spanish lesson
at 8.
1217
00:49:13,743 --> 00:49:15,078
Make sure I don't forget,
all right?
1218
00:49:15,161 --> 00:49:16,788
You're learning
to speak Spanish?
1219
00:49:16,871 --> 00:49:18,706
No. Lo estoy enseñando.
1220
00:49:20,667 --> 00:49:22,669
I'm not. I'm teaching it.
1221
00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:24,712
[laughs] Of course you are.
1222
00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:26,673
[laughs]
1223
00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:30,009
TV: ..the little support
Paul Hogan did once have
1224
00:49:30,093 --> 00:49:32,053
has disappeared completely.
1225
00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:34,889
Dad, you know no-one thinks
this stuff, right?
1226
00:49:34,972 --> 00:49:36,641
I hope not.
1227
00:49:36,724 --> 00:49:38,017
[Reporter] ...gone off the
rails, right?
1228
00:49:38,101 --> 00:49:39,727
I don't care what anyone says.
I love him.
1229
00:49:39,811 --> 00:49:41,270
This is all right, though.
1230
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:42,563
I know he's had
a lot of criticism...
1231
00:49:42,647 --> 00:49:44,273
Ooh. She loves you.
1232
00:49:44,357 --> 00:49:45,566
[Both chuckle]
1233
00:49:45,650 --> 00:49:48,277
[Chase] See? You'll be right.
1234
00:49:48,361 --> 00:49:51,239
You know, when I was a kid, I
used to hide under the blankets
1235
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,700
when he wrestled those
crocodiles and snakes.
1236
00:49:53,783 --> 00:49:56,869
And what about Bindi and Paul?
I mean...
1237
00:49:56,953 --> 00:49:58,663
[Reporter] No...
1238
00:49:58,746 --> 00:50:02,375
No, you're talking about Steve
Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter.
1239
00:50:03,376 --> 00:50:04,919
Who did you ask about?
1240
00:50:05,002 --> 00:50:07,880
[Reporter] Crocodile Dundee.
Paul Hogan.
1241
00:50:07,964 --> 00:50:09,340
Oh, him.
1242
00:50:09,424 --> 00:50:11,008
Yeah, he's a dickhead.
1243
00:50:11,092 --> 00:50:12,844
[Man] All right, all right,
let me tell you
1244
00:50:12,927 --> 00:50:14,804
what I think about
Mr. Paul Hogan...
1245
00:50:14,887 --> 00:50:18,433
[Lucy] Grandpa, have you
ever had anyone not like you?
1246
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:23,062
[chuckles] Uh, oh, yeah, maybe
one or two people.
1247
00:50:23,146 --> 00:50:24,814
What did you do?
1248
00:50:24,897 --> 00:50:28,025
Well, nothing. You can't force
people to like you, love.
1249
00:50:28,109 --> 00:50:30,862
Yeah, I mean,
when I started on television,
1250
00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:32,947
one of my aunties
was saying to me,
1251
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,782
"Ooh, you shouldn't say that
on television,"
1252
00:50:34,866 --> 00:50:36,951
or, "You shouldn't do this," or,
"You shouldn't look like that.
1253
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:38,536
"People won't like you."
1254
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,539
But, you know, some people
will like you, some won't.
1255
00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:43,166
It's... You just be yourself.
1256
00:50:43,249 --> 00:50:45,585
You mean I shouldn't let people
know you're my grandpa
1257
00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,628
because you've been
upsetting them forever?
1258
00:50:47,712 --> 00:50:49,589
[chuckles] Uh...
1259
00:50:49,672 --> 00:50:52,216
Yeah, oh, well,
it's probably the safest thing
1260
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:53,718
just not to mention me.
1261
00:50:53,801 --> 00:50:55,470
[chuckles]
1262
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,097
Listen, your mum said the new
school's a bit tough for you.
1263
00:50:58,181 --> 00:50:59,891
Yeah.
1264
00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:02,560
Oh, well, look, it's not easy
when you go to a new school,
1265
00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:03,770
but you'll be fine.
1266
00:51:03,853 --> 00:51:04,771
Yeah.
1267
00:51:04,854 --> 00:51:05,980
Listen.
1268
00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,940
I'm sorry if any of the stuff
1269
00:51:08,024 --> 00:51:09,859
that's been reported about me
1270
00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:12,320
makes it, uh...
a bit hard for you,
1271
00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:14,489
but, you know,
just don't worry about it.
1272
00:51:14,572 --> 00:51:15,990
You know, they make stuff up.
1273
00:51:16,073 --> 00:51:18,493
That's not what Mum says!
[giggles]
1274
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:22,371
Oh, well... uh, Mum gets
confused sometimes.
1275
00:51:22,455 --> 00:51:24,832
But don't worry, Grandpa.
You're getting a knighthood.
1276
00:51:24,916 --> 00:51:27,835
That'll make up for all of it.
No-one can take that away.
1277
00:51:27,919 --> 00:51:29,712
Oh, I hope not. [chuckles]
1278
00:51:29,796 --> 00:51:31,839
Oh, I drew this.
1279
00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:35,968
Ooh, did you do that?
1280
00:51:36,052 --> 00:51:39,305
Oh, you're really talented
for a 19-year-old kid.
1281
00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:41,557
[chuckles] I'm not 19, I'm 9!
1282
00:51:41,641 --> 00:51:43,726
Oh, you can't be 9!
You're too smart.
1283
00:51:43,810 --> 00:51:46,020
Thanks. But I just wanted
to show you that.
1284
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:47,230
[rattling outside]
1285
00:51:47,313 --> 00:51:49,106
I'd better go. The Wizard
awaits.
1286
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:52,318
Oh. Yeah. Uh, how's that going?
How's that working out?
1287
00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:55,988
Pretty good. I can't wait
for you to watch me sometime.
1288
00:51:56,072 --> 00:51:57,240
Oh, I'd love to see it.
1289
00:51:57,323 --> 00:51:58,241
[rattling]
1290
00:51:58,324 --> 00:51:59,325
Bye, Pa.
1291
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,535
Yeah.
1292
00:52:00,618 --> 00:52:02,954
Bye, sweetie. [hangs up]
1293
00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:38,322
Hey! I can see your foot
sticking out.
1294
00:52:41,242 --> 00:52:43,452
Come on, what are we doing?
Playing hide-and-seek?
1295
00:52:43,536 --> 00:52:45,204
[Luke] No, we're not.
1296
00:52:51,878 --> 00:52:53,921
So, what are you doing
here, mate?
1297
00:52:54,005 --> 00:52:56,799
Well... I couldn't find Melrose.
1298
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:00,970
All right, let's get it over
with.
1299
00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:03,264
How much will you get
for a photo of me?
1300
00:53:03,347 --> 00:53:05,224
Oh. Like, a hundred bucks.
1301
00:53:06,559 --> 00:53:07,685
100 bucks?
1302
00:53:07,768 --> 00:53:09,562
Yeah. I mean, that's if I'm
lucky.
1303
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:12,231
Oh. What about if I took my
shirt off
1304
00:53:12,315 --> 00:53:13,691
and I'm all sweaty, you know,
1305
00:53:13,774 --> 00:53:15,484
coming out of the gym
all pumped up and...
1306
00:53:15,568 --> 00:53:19,280
Ugh. No. Uh... 60, maybe?
1307
00:53:19,363 --> 00:53:20,448
Sixty?!
1308
00:53:20,531 --> 00:53:21,449
Mm-hm.
1309
00:53:21,532 --> 00:53:22,950
[sighs]
1310
00:53:24,535 --> 00:53:26,662
Okay. Um...
1311
00:53:26,746 --> 00:53:29,332
What about a photo of me
with Kim Kardashian?
1312
00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:32,209
Now we're talking!
That would be amazing.
1313
00:53:32,293 --> 00:53:35,129
I could get, like, 30 grand.
Maybe even more.
1314
00:53:35,212 --> 00:53:37,673
Well, I mean, that's just for
a photo of Kim, though.
1315
00:53:37,757 --> 00:53:38,841
Are you in it too?
1316
00:53:38,925 --> 00:53:39,884
Yeah.
1317
00:53:39,967 --> 00:53:43,220
Then it's, like, $120. Or less.
1318
00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:44,722
Oh!
1319
00:53:44,805 --> 00:53:46,724
Oh, don't worry.
I can crop you out of it.
1320
00:53:46,807 --> 00:53:48,893
I got an idea, Paul.
1321
00:53:48,976 --> 00:53:52,104
What if I, like, got photos of
you and, like, a new girlfriend?
1322
00:53:52,188 --> 00:53:53,814
No.
1323
00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:56,651
No, it could be good. It doesn't
have to be a girlfriend.
1324
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:58,361
Maybe, like... a lover.
1325
00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:00,613
Forget about it.
1326
00:54:00,696 --> 00:54:01,906
We could set that up.
1327
00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:04,825
You know, I just met
a waitress at Denny's
1328
00:54:04,909 --> 00:54:07,161
and she was really into
Australians.
1329
00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:09,830
I was like, "Oh, I know
an Australian!"
1330
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,624
All right, listen.
1331
00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:13,167
You don't have a car, do you?
1332
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,127
Yeah, I... No, I don't.
1333
00:54:15,211 --> 00:54:16,629
Mmm. Okay.
1334
00:54:16,712 --> 00:54:17,755
Why?
1335
00:54:17,838 --> 00:54:19,840
Uh... No, I'd better not.
1336
00:54:19,924 --> 00:54:21,217
No, I promised my manager
1337
00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,969
I wouldn't get into
any more trouble.
1338
00:54:23,052 --> 00:54:25,805
Oh, oh, oh! Do the opposite!
1339
00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:28,933
Do whatever you said you
wouldn't do to your manager!
1340
00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:30,643
Do the opposite of that.
1341
00:54:30,726 --> 00:54:33,270
Let's do it! We'll do it
together! Paul, please!
1342
00:54:33,354 --> 00:54:35,439
Please! Please!
1343
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:36,440
Oh...
1344
00:54:37,775 --> 00:54:39,860
So, where are we going?
1345
00:54:39,944 --> 00:54:41,821
We need to find stars.
1346
00:54:41,904 --> 00:54:44,073
Yeah, you know, like George
Clooney, Julia Roberts...
1347
00:54:44,156 --> 00:54:45,658
Kim Kardashian.
1348
00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:50,371
I, uh... I used to know
where Cary Grant lived.
1349
00:54:50,454 --> 00:54:52,373
Yeah, but, uh,
I think it's better
1350
00:54:52,456 --> 00:54:55,209
if we stick to celebrities
that are still alive.
1351
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:57,086
Okay. Betty White?
1352
00:54:57,169 --> 00:55:00,339
Oh... I mean, she's good.
It's just...
1353
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:01,424
What night is it?
1354
00:55:01,507 --> 00:55:02,758
Uh, Wednesday, I think.
1355
00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:04,552
Oh. Well, I know where they are.
1356
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:05,803
Yeah?
1357
00:55:05,886 --> 00:55:07,722
[accelerates]
1358
00:55:07,805 --> 00:55:08,931
[siren chirps]
1359
00:55:09,015 --> 00:55:10,349
Oh.
1360
00:55:10,433 --> 00:55:12,309
[siren chirps]
1361
00:55:12,393 --> 00:55:13,769
Crap!
1362
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:17,148
Oh. Well, don't panic.
It's just the police.
1363
00:55:17,231 --> 00:55:19,525
Yeah, but they've got big guns.
1364
00:55:19,608 --> 00:55:23,070
Yeah, but if you don't do
anything stupid, they're fine.
1365
00:55:33,622 --> 00:55:35,207
[Luke] What are you doing?
1366
00:55:35,291 --> 00:55:38,711
Just, uh... I'm just waiting
for them to...
1367
00:55:39,628 --> 00:55:40,921
...get, uh...
1368
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,049
...out of the car.
1369
00:55:50,222 --> 00:55:51,140
Right!
1370
00:55:51,223 --> 00:55:52,141
[tires squeal]
1371
00:55:52,224 --> 00:55:54,143
[engine roars]
1372
00:55:59,482 --> 00:56:02,068
[siren wailing]
1373
00:56:04,987 --> 00:56:06,822
[horn honks]
1374
00:56:13,913 --> 00:56:17,500
Oh, I forgot. Do you guys want
mints or water or anything?
1375
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:19,418
Uh... no, fine for now, John.
1376
00:56:19,502 --> 00:56:21,378
What?! No!
1377
00:56:21,462 --> 00:56:22,963
[tires squeal]
1378
00:56:29,887 --> 00:56:32,223
Listen, you gotta... you gotta
pull over, talk to them!
1379
00:56:32,306 --> 00:56:35,601
Uh, no, no. I can't. I don't
have my driver's license.
1380
00:56:35,684 --> 00:56:37,645
Well, then just tell them
you left it at home!
1381
00:56:37,728 --> 00:56:41,023
No, I don't have
a driving license.
1382
00:56:41,107 --> 00:56:44,026
Come to think of it, I don't
even know whose car this is.
1383
00:56:44,110 --> 00:56:46,654
What?! Come on!
1384
00:56:53,285 --> 00:56:54,328
John!
1385
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,538
Get your camera out.
1386
00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:57,289
Why, so I can photograph
my own death?!
1387
00:56:57,373 --> 00:56:59,500
No, 'cause
just round this corner,
1388
00:56:59,583 --> 00:57:02,211
there's gonna be
a mother lode of celebrities.
1389
00:57:02,294 --> 00:57:06,006
Oh! Let's tap it. Let's tap!
1390
00:57:19,145 --> 00:57:21,438
Stephanie. Tell us
about your latest role.
1391
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,150
She's a hard-nosed FBI agent
1392
00:57:24,233 --> 00:57:26,485
that needs
a lot of people killed.
1393
00:57:26,569 --> 00:57:28,487
Oh. How fun.
1394
00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:29,989
Yes. [chuckles]
1395
00:57:30,072 --> 00:57:30,990
Yeah.
1396
00:57:31,073 --> 00:57:32,741
[tires squeal]
1397
00:57:38,873 --> 00:57:40,583
No, no, no, no, no, no...!
1398
00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:44,003
Arggh! No!
1399
00:57:47,381 --> 00:57:51,343
Uh, there seems to be some kind
of disturbance happening.
1400
00:57:51,427 --> 00:57:53,345
Oh, this chase is getting
out of control.
1401
00:57:53,429 --> 00:57:56,599
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.
1402
00:57:56,682 --> 00:58:00,644
I never get tired
of searchlights.
1403
00:58:00,728 --> 00:58:04,190
Right, Luke, stay alert.
Kim Kardashian, two o'clock.
1404
00:58:04,273 --> 00:58:05,691
Can you slow down a bit?
1405
00:58:07,151 --> 00:58:08,819
I'm afraid
that won't be possible.
1406
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:10,988
Oh, look. Brad Pitt.
1407
00:58:11,071 --> 00:58:12,114
Hey!
1408
00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:14,325
Did you get him?
1409
00:58:14,408 --> 00:58:15,326
No.
1410
00:58:15,409 --> 00:58:16,327
I nearly did.
1411
00:58:16,410 --> 00:58:17,453
Yeah, we noticed.
1412
00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:18,746
[horn honks]
1413
00:58:24,877 --> 00:58:25,961
[Man screams]
1414
00:58:26,045 --> 00:58:26,962
Uh-oh.
1415
00:58:27,046 --> 00:58:27,963
What was that?
1416
00:58:28,047 --> 00:58:29,715
I think it was Harvey Weinstein.
1417
00:58:29,798 --> 00:58:31,550
Mmm. Good.
1418
00:58:31,634 --> 00:58:33,135
[tires screech]
1419
00:58:33,219 --> 00:58:34,345
[Luke] Shit!
1420
00:58:35,971 --> 00:58:37,932
[engine revs]
1421
00:58:46,774 --> 00:58:48,525
[Reporter] And whilst I can't
make out who's driving,
1422
00:58:48,609 --> 00:58:51,987
that is certainly Paul Hogan
in the passenger seat.
1423
00:58:52,071 --> 00:58:53,948
Well, drivers are now
in a panic.
1424
00:58:54,031 --> 00:58:56,325
The chase has moved
to the other side of the road.
1425
00:58:56,408 --> 00:58:57,826
[cackles]
1426
00:59:18,681 --> 00:59:21,642
[tires squeal]
1427
00:59:31,110 --> 00:59:33,195
[engine idles]
1428
00:59:33,279 --> 00:59:35,489
Thanks, guys!
Don't forget to rate me.
1429
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,782
Five stars.
1430
00:59:38,784 --> 00:59:40,119
[John cackles]
1431
00:59:40,202 --> 00:59:41,537
Hey, where's he going?!
1432
00:59:41,620 --> 00:59:43,205
[Hogan] Quick. Inside.
1433
00:59:43,289 --> 00:59:44,999
Hey, do you really think
that was Kim Kardashian?!
1434
00:59:45,082 --> 00:59:46,333
Just get inside the...!
1435
00:59:46,417 --> 00:59:47,835
Oh! Your place is gorgeous!
1436
00:59:47,918 --> 00:59:48,836
Come here!
1437
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:49,837
You've got three garages?!
1438
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,213
You've got three cars?
1439
00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:52,339
Or is it just storage?
1440
00:59:52,423 --> 00:59:53,465
Oh, a tennis court!
1441
00:59:53,549 --> 00:59:54,591
[helicopter whirs]
1442
00:59:54,675 --> 00:59:56,093
That's awesome!
1443
00:59:56,176 --> 00:59:57,428
I played tennis in high school.
1444
00:59:57,511 --> 00:59:59,013
I'm actually pretty good
for my size.
1445
00:59:59,096 --> 01:00:01,140
Oh, look at the size
of these doors!
1446
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:02,224
Get in, get in!
1447
01:00:02,308 --> 01:00:03,434
[sirens approaching]
1448
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:06,061
Whoa! Look at this place!
1449
01:00:06,145 --> 01:00:09,231
You've got chairs.
A coffee table.
1450
01:00:09,315 --> 01:00:12,109
A huge dining table.
You've got, like, eight pillows.
1451
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:13,819
[Hogan] Look at that.
1452
01:00:13,902 --> 01:00:15,612
What's that wind?
1453
01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:17,948
Oh, you've got a pool!
You've got a TV!
1454
01:00:18,032 --> 01:00:19,283
[helicopter roars outside]
1455
01:00:19,366 --> 01:00:20,909
[Reporter on TV]:
...the speed of the chase.
1456
01:00:20,993 --> 01:00:23,120
[Woman] It was disgusting,
for heck's sake!
1457
01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,997
Oh, man!
1458
01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:28,292
Police are advising drivers
to avoid San Vicente Boulevard.
1459
01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:30,878
The car has now been abandoned
in a residential area.
1460
01:00:30,961 --> 01:00:33,839
LA people are so nuts!
1461
01:00:35,924 --> 01:00:38,886
[helicopter roars]
1462
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,847
Paul, get in here!
You gotta check out the news!
1463
01:00:41,930 --> 01:00:43,265
Is that...
1464
01:00:43,349 --> 01:00:45,184
Yes, sadly, I believe
1465
01:00:45,267 --> 01:00:47,686
that is disgraced movie star
Paul Hogan.
1466
01:00:47,770 --> 01:00:50,939
In what can only be described
as a desperate cry for help,
1467
01:00:51,023 --> 01:00:52,983
it would appear the fallen icon
1468
01:00:53,067 --> 01:00:56,487
is now desperately trying
to relive his glory days.
1469
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:57,946
[Luke] Paul!
1470
01:00:59,323 --> 01:01:00,449
Paul! Whoa!
1471
01:01:00,532 --> 01:01:02,409
This may be the saddest thing
1472
01:01:02,493 --> 01:01:05,662
this jaded old journalist
has ever seen.
1473
01:01:05,746 --> 01:01:08,290
Paul! Paul!
1474
01:01:08,374 --> 01:01:10,834
Paul, you're on the news! Look!
1475
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,504
It appears a lady has run
from the house,
1476
01:01:13,587 --> 01:01:16,048
trying to plead with
the troubled Hogan.
1477
01:01:16,131 --> 01:01:17,800
Uh...
1478
01:01:22,137 --> 01:01:25,099
The lady is down.
The lady is down.
1479
01:01:38,821 --> 01:01:41,365
[jazzy music]
1480
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,619
You got a light, buddy?
1481
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:49,123
Yeah, sure, kid. There you go.
1482
01:01:50,165 --> 01:01:51,375
And your wallet.
1483
01:01:52,709 --> 01:01:55,129
Mickey, give him your wallet.
1484
01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:56,380
What for?
1485
01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:58,090
He's got a knife!
1486
01:01:59,425 --> 01:02:01,802
[laughs theatrically]
1487
01:02:03,137 --> 01:02:05,722
[big-band show tune playing]
1488
01:02:09,935 --> 01:02:12,896
♪ You wave that shiny
little thing in my face
1489
01:02:12,980 --> 01:02:15,816
♪ But, kid, your piece of
cutlery's a bloody disgrace
1490
01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:19,236
♪ You look at me as if
I should now run for my life
1491
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:22,030
♪ But that's not a knife
1492
01:02:22,114 --> 01:02:25,367
♪ You think your little toy
is gonna fill me with dread
1493
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:28,495
♪ But you should take that home
and file your toenails instead
1494
01:02:28,579 --> 01:02:31,957
♪ You're embarrassing yourself
in front of my future wife
1495
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,960
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife
1496
01:02:35,043 --> 01:02:38,213
♪ You should turn away
from your life of crime
1497
01:02:38,297 --> 01:02:41,592
♪ Do something more worthwhile
with your time
1498
01:02:41,675 --> 01:02:44,678
♪ Buddy, why you lookin'
so deflated?
1499
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:49,683
♪ Maybe 'cause your implement
is not serrated
1500
01:02:51,560 --> 01:02:54,104
♪ I can see you're not
the sharpest tool in the shed
1501
01:02:54,188 --> 01:02:57,441
♪ But I wouldn't use that
little thing to butter my bread
1502
01:02:57,524 --> 01:03:00,486
♪ Kid, if I were you,
I'd bloody run for my life
1503
01:03:00,569 --> 01:03:02,154
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife
1504
01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:03,363
♪ That's not a knife
1505
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,240
♪ No, that's not a knife
1506
01:03:05,324 --> 01:03:06,783
♪ That's not a knife
1507
01:03:06,867 --> 01:03:09,119
♪ No, that's not a knife
1508
01:03:09,203 --> 01:03:11,288
♪ That's a knife
1509
01:03:11,371 --> 01:03:12,331
♪ Oh!
1510
01:03:12,414 --> 01:03:14,541
♪ Yes, that is a knife
1511
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,503
♪ That is definitely a knife
1512
01:03:17,586 --> 01:03:21,131
♪ Remarkable sharpness
and purity
1513
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:24,134
♪ How'd he get that
through airport security?
1514
01:03:24,218 --> 01:03:27,679
♪ I should be feeling
fear and loathing
1515
01:03:27,763 --> 01:03:34,061
♪ Scariest thing about you
is your choice of clothing
1516
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:37,105
♪ Buddy, here's a little piece
of friendly advice
1517
01:03:37,189 --> 01:03:40,359
♪ Threatening people
on the street is not very nice
1518
01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:43,278
♪ So go sit somewhere quietly
and keep out of strife
1519
01:03:43,362 --> 01:03:46,490
♪ Then you won't need a knife
1520
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:49,409
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife
1521
01:03:49,493 --> 01:03:52,788
♪ Yeah, that's not a knife
1522
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:54,706
♪ That's the knife
1523
01:03:54,790 --> 01:03:56,416
[music recedes]
1524
01:03:56,500 --> 01:03:59,253
♪ So, keep sharpened up... ♪
1525
01:03:59,336 --> 01:04:01,255
[cell door clanks]
1526
01:04:04,383 --> 01:04:07,386
[Man] Hey, Hogan. You made bail.
1527
01:04:15,227 --> 01:04:16,687
Well, look, in my defense,
1528
01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:19,064
I had no idea we'd be trying
to escape from the cops
1529
01:04:19,147 --> 01:04:23,026
in a... televised
high-speed pursuit...
1530
01:04:23,110 --> 01:04:26,863
...with an unlicensed John
Cleese driving a stolen car.
1531
01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:33,745
[News presenter] It is
certainly
1532
01:04:33,829 --> 01:04:35,122
the story that won't go away
1533
01:04:35,205 --> 01:04:37,082
as disgraced racist nun-basher
1534
01:04:37,165 --> 01:04:39,710
and former Australian legend
Paul Hogan
1535
01:04:39,793 --> 01:04:42,170
implodes before our very eyes.
1536
01:04:42,254 --> 01:04:44,715
...Margot Robbie and Paul Hogan
becoming friends
1537
01:04:44,798 --> 01:04:47,676
while shooting that
Australian tourism commercial.
1538
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,803
We have Margot
in our LA studio.
1539
01:04:49,886 --> 01:04:51,972
Margot, I want to start
by asking,
1540
01:04:52,055 --> 01:04:54,850
have you reached out to your
troubled friend at all?
1541
01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:56,643
[door closes, running footsteps]
1542
01:04:56,727 --> 01:04:57,644
[Man] Margot!
1543
01:04:57,728 --> 01:04:58,645
Margot?
1544
01:04:58,729 --> 01:04:59,980
[car drives off]
1545
01:05:01,732 --> 01:05:05,527
Margot Robbie in... in LA,
can you hear me?
1546
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:07,112
She's, uh, gone, chief.
1547
01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,071
Margot?
1548
01:05:09,156 --> 01:05:10,866
[shouts] Margot!
1549
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:13,952
[Man] ...with Hogan quickly
becoming a global punchline...
1550
01:05:14,036 --> 01:05:15,787
...Australia, the Flipper...
1551
01:05:15,871 --> 01:05:17,748
[speaks in Korean]
1552
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,541
...and I can't believe
he hasn't been #MeToo'd yet.
1553
01:05:19,625 --> 01:05:22,085
When will his reign
of madness end?
1554
01:05:22,169 --> 01:05:24,630
And your old mate Paul Hogan...
What's going on there?
1555
01:05:24,713 --> 01:05:26,089
Does he need professional help?
1556
01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:27,591
I don't know.
There's not a great deal...
1557
01:05:27,674 --> 01:05:29,259
It doesn't bear
too much analysis.
1558
01:05:29,343 --> 01:05:31,053
I mean, this is
pretty silly stuff.
1559
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:33,138
Yeah, fair, pretty silly,
but I've got to admit,
1560
01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,265
I'm actually surprised
by how funny he is.
1561
01:05:35,349 --> 01:05:37,184
And he's kind of
off the wall too.
1562
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:40,103
I mean, there's recesses
in this guy's brain
1563
01:05:40,187 --> 01:05:42,022
that are kind of pretty wild.
1564
01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:43,607
I've got a joke for you, right?
1565
01:05:43,690 --> 01:05:45,275
What do you call the fastest
Australian in the world?
1566
01:05:45,359 --> 01:05:46,276
[Wayne] Paul!
1567
01:05:46,360 --> 01:05:47,277
The fastest what?
1568
01:05:47,361 --> 01:05:48,654
Australian.
1569
01:05:49,905 --> 01:05:51,406
Paul Ho-GUN!
1570
01:05:51,490 --> 01:05:53,033
Oh, wait. I've got one.
1571
01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,369
What does Paul say when
he'd like the escort to leave?
1572
01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:56,953
[Wayne whimpers]
1573
01:05:57,037 --> 01:05:58,664
Carol's here!
1574
01:05:58,747 --> 01:06:00,582
I don't know how she found me!
You haven't seen me!
1575
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,793
Mate, your timing
couldn't be worse!
1576
01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:06,046
Just tell her
you haven't seen me.
1577
01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:08,131
I can't lie to Carol.
She's an angel.
1578
01:06:08,215 --> 01:06:12,219
No matter what she says,
you have no idea where I am!
1579
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,428
Good luck!
1580
01:06:13,512 --> 01:06:14,805
[doorbell rings]
1581
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:15,806
Shit! [sobs]
1582
01:06:15,889 --> 01:06:17,391
Please, God! Please!
1583
01:06:17,474 --> 01:06:18,934
Please! I beg you!
1584
01:06:19,017 --> 01:06:20,769
Oh, bloody hell!
1585
01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,480
Wait, I've got one. What do you
call Paul Hogan's latest movie?
1586
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:24,523
I don't know.
1587
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,691
Who cares?
1588
01:06:27,359 --> 01:06:28,276
Oh.
1589
01:06:28,360 --> 01:06:29,528
Oh. Oh, hi, Carol.
1590
01:06:29,611 --> 01:06:32,030
Hi, Paul. Uh, these are for you.
1591
01:06:32,114 --> 01:06:33,615
Oh, thank you.
1592
01:06:33,699 --> 01:06:35,450
Well, I thought it was
the least that I could do
1593
01:06:35,534 --> 01:06:38,120
with you having to put up with
him and all that noise.
1594
01:06:38,203 --> 01:06:40,497
Ah. Um, put up with what?
1595
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:41,832
What?
1596
01:06:41,915 --> 01:06:42,791
With Wayne.
1597
01:06:44,042 --> 01:06:45,127
Wayne?
1598
01:06:45,210 --> 01:06:46,795
Where is he, Paul?
1599
01:06:46,878 --> 01:06:48,338
Uh, who?
1600
01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,506
Wayne.
1601
01:06:49,589 --> 01:06:50,632
Wayne?
1602
01:06:50,716 --> 01:06:51,675
Mmm.
1603
01:06:51,758 --> 01:06:53,927
Oh. Uh, uh... haven't seen him.
1604
01:06:54,010 --> 01:06:56,179
Really? Oh.
1605
01:06:57,431 --> 01:06:58,348
Yeah.
1606
01:06:58,432 --> 01:06:59,307
I...
1607
01:07:01,768 --> 01:07:04,896
Paul, I'm gonna need you
to be honest with me.
1608
01:07:04,980 --> 01:07:07,190
Oh, of course. Yeah.
1609
01:07:07,274 --> 01:07:08,650
Have you seen my husband?
1610
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:12,154
Wayne? Uh...
1611
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:14,865
...n-no. Uh...
1612
01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:19,578
Okay.
1613
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,122
Um... I'm sorry.
1614
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:24,583
Oh, no, that's okay.
Knowing Wayne, he's probably...
1615
01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,793
Sorry, sweetheart. [chuckles]
1616
01:07:26,877 --> 01:07:28,879
New-show jitters.
You know how I am.
1617
01:07:28,962 --> 01:07:30,464
Ah. Why, you lying little...
1618
01:07:30,547 --> 01:07:31,882
Oh, no, hey, but he told me...
1619
01:07:31,965 --> 01:07:33,550
Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.
Don't look at me.
1620
01:07:33,633 --> 01:07:35,260
No, you gave it away
the minute you opened the door.
1621
01:07:35,343 --> 01:07:36,678
You looked so guilty.
1622
01:07:36,762 --> 01:07:38,764
I am very disappointed with you.
1623
01:07:38,847 --> 01:07:40,640
[Wayne] That makes two of us.
1624
01:07:40,724 --> 01:07:42,851
Yeah, I read the press.
I was gonna leave anyway.
1625
01:07:42,934 --> 01:07:44,853
Oh, and I'd give that robe
a wash.
1626
01:07:44,936 --> 01:07:48,565
Yes. Oh, b-b-b-b... mwah!
[giggles]
1627
01:07:49,983 --> 01:07:50,901
Bye.
1628
01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:51,902
[Hogan] Uh...
1629
01:07:51,985 --> 01:07:53,862
[Wayne laughs]
1630
01:07:56,114 --> 01:07:58,533
[Reporter] One thing
that is safe to say
1631
01:07:58,617 --> 01:08:01,495
is the once loved Mr. Dundee
1632
01:08:01,578 --> 01:08:04,915
doesn't have a friend left
in the world.
1633
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:13,965
Got a letter from the palace.
1634
01:08:14,049 --> 01:08:15,592
Oh.
1635
01:08:15,675 --> 01:08:19,179
Well... I guess we both know
what this says.
1636
01:08:19,262 --> 01:08:21,473
Yeah. I think so.
1637
01:08:21,556 --> 01:08:24,768
Oh. Dunno how
I'm gonna tell Lucy, though.
1638
01:08:24,851 --> 01:08:29,022
Yeah. Well, people are
just sort of... so angry at me.
1639
01:08:29,105 --> 01:08:31,399
I don't know what
I'm gonna tell my mom.
1640
01:08:33,109 --> 01:08:35,862
I wish my dad was here.
He'd know what to do.
1641
01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,864
Hey. You did a great job.
1642
01:08:37,948 --> 01:08:40,909
You were just, uh...
trying to manage a boofhead.
1643
01:08:40,992 --> 01:08:43,161
[chuckles]
1644
01:08:43,245 --> 01:08:46,122
Well, I was managing a
boofhead.
1645
01:08:47,457 --> 01:08:48,708
Yeah.
1646
01:08:48,792 --> 01:08:49,918
Gonna be okay?
1647
01:08:50,001 --> 01:08:51,628
Yeah.
1648
01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:53,839
You know...
1649
01:08:53,922 --> 01:08:56,800
...I've always wanted
to make something for kids.
1650
01:08:56,883 --> 01:08:58,301
You should.
1651
01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:01,888
Yeah. I'll find something.
1652
01:09:04,933 --> 01:09:07,561
I wasn't really much of
a manager anyway.
1653
01:09:38,425 --> 01:09:39,509
Nope.
1654
01:09:41,219 --> 01:09:42,721
[chicken squeaks]
1655
01:09:42,804 --> 01:09:44,681
[phone chimes]
1656
01:09:48,810 --> 01:09:49,978
[scoffs]
1657
01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,529
[jazz band playing]
1658
01:10:47,202 --> 01:10:48,745
Hello, Paul.
1659
01:10:48,828 --> 01:10:49,746
Oh.
1660
01:10:49,829 --> 01:10:50,830
I'm Ella.
1661
01:10:50,914 --> 01:10:52,374
Oh. I'm Paul.
1662
01:10:52,457 --> 01:10:54,000
[laughs] Hello.
1663
01:10:54,084 --> 01:10:55,001
Hello, Ella.
1664
01:10:55,085 --> 01:10:56,002
Hi.
1665
01:10:56,086 --> 01:10:57,003
Oh, goodness.
1666
01:10:57,087 --> 01:10:58,880
So, the others aren't here yet?
1667
01:10:58,964 --> 01:10:59,881
Uh, no.
1668
01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:00,924
[phone chimes]
1669
01:11:01,007 --> 01:11:02,968
Ooh. Sorry. Gosh.
1670
01:11:03,051 --> 01:11:05,220
That's me. How rude.
1671
01:11:05,303 --> 01:11:06,221
Sorry!
1672
01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,263
No, it's fine.
1673
01:11:07,347 --> 01:11:08,640
Oh, it's Livvy.
1674
01:11:08,723 --> 01:11:10,809
Um... Oh.
1675
01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,479
"Running late. Be there soon."
1676
01:11:17,482 --> 01:11:18,441
Uh-huh.
1677
01:11:18,525 --> 01:11:19,985
[clears throat] Right.
1678
01:11:25,532 --> 01:11:27,909
Do you get the feeling
this is a set-up?
1679
01:11:27,993 --> 01:11:29,703
I'm starting to, yes.
1680
01:11:29,786 --> 01:11:31,246
[Both chuckle]
1681
01:11:31,329 --> 01:11:34,207
Oh, dear. Ahem.
1682
01:11:34,290 --> 01:11:35,667
Oh, Livvy. I'll kill her.
1683
01:11:35,750 --> 01:11:36,668
[laughs]
1684
01:11:36,751 --> 01:11:38,044
Oh, I love your dress.
1685
01:11:38,128 --> 01:11:39,963
Uh... it's a top.
1686
01:11:40,046 --> 01:11:42,048
But thank you. [chuckles]
1687
01:11:42,132 --> 01:11:43,508
Of course it's a top.
1688
01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:45,176
Oh, my goodness. [laughs]
1689
01:11:45,260 --> 01:11:47,804
These things are always
awkward, aren't they?
1690
01:11:47,887 --> 01:11:49,347
What?
1691
01:11:49,431 --> 01:11:50,682
Dates.
1692
01:11:50,765 --> 01:11:52,642
Actually, I wouldn't know.
1693
01:11:52,726 --> 01:11:55,186
I haven't been on a date
since man walked on the moon.
1694
01:11:55,270 --> 01:11:56,688
[laughs]
1695
01:11:56,771 --> 01:11:58,273
Half a century ago.
1696
01:11:58,356 --> 01:11:59,816
[laughs] Goodness.
1697
01:11:59,899 --> 01:12:01,860
If you took you another
half-century to go on a date,
1698
01:12:01,943 --> 01:12:02,902
it must have been a bad one.
1699
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:05,071
It was pretty bad, actually.
1700
01:12:05,155 --> 01:12:06,531
[laughs]
1701
01:12:07,490 --> 01:12:08,950
Well, anyway...
1702
01:12:09,034 --> 01:12:11,077
I'm... I'm glad you're here.
1703
01:12:11,161 --> 01:12:13,329
I'm glad too.
1704
01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:15,331
[plate smashes]
1705
01:12:15,415 --> 01:12:17,584
Oh, my goodness!
1706
01:12:17,667 --> 01:12:19,502
I think that's Chevy Chase.
1707
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:21,129
[Chevy] Just slid
right off the table.
1708
01:12:21,212 --> 01:12:22,422
Course it's him.
1709
01:12:22,505 --> 01:12:24,591
He's pretty good.
He won an Academy Award.
1710
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:25,967
Oh, really? Oh.
1711
01:12:26,051 --> 01:12:27,427
[Chevy] You need
to have these fixed.
1712
01:12:27,510 --> 01:12:28,845
I didn't know that.
1713
01:12:29,721 --> 01:12:31,347
Good evening.
1714
01:12:31,431 --> 01:12:33,308
Could I interest you in
our wine list this evening?
1715
01:12:33,391 --> 01:12:34,726
Oh, y-yes, please.
1716
01:12:34,809 --> 01:12:36,311
Certainly, sir.
1717
01:12:36,394 --> 01:12:37,645
Thank you.
1718
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:45,653
Um... is it okay if I make
a tiny little confession?
1719
01:12:45,737 --> 01:12:47,238
Yeah.
1720
01:12:47,322 --> 01:12:53,286
I... may not be an innocent
bystander in all of this.
1721
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:56,581
I might... have had
a conversation
1722
01:12:56,664 --> 01:12:58,291
with Olivia beforehand.
1723
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:02,462
Oh. Yeah, I'll be having
a little chat to Olivia.
1724
01:13:02,545 --> 01:13:04,255
[both chuckle]
1725
01:13:10,845 --> 01:13:13,098
[Woman] He's got my keys!
1726
01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,808
Stop him! Somebody stop him!
1727
01:13:14,891 --> 01:13:15,809
Oh.
1728
01:13:15,892 --> 01:13:17,143
A-are you okay?
1729
01:13:17,227 --> 01:13:18,645
Yeah. Uh, back in a sec.
1730
01:13:21,147 --> 01:13:23,024
[heroic music]
1731
01:13:25,860 --> 01:13:27,445
Over there!
1732
01:13:27,529 --> 01:13:30,115
Stop him! Somebody stop him!
It's the Phantom Valet!
1733
01:13:30,198 --> 01:13:32,367
I know it is! Somebody stop him!
1734
01:14:06,734 --> 01:14:09,612
[cheering and applause]
1735
01:14:28,047 --> 01:14:29,340
I've still got it.
1736
01:14:29,424 --> 01:14:31,050
Not bad!
1737
01:14:33,553 --> 01:14:34,971
Like a scene
from the movie itself,
1738
01:14:35,054 --> 01:14:37,348
much loved Aussie star
Paul Hogan is back
1739
01:14:37,432 --> 01:14:40,435
and reminding us of
what he is truly made of.
1740
01:14:40,518 --> 01:14:42,979
However, the same cannot be
said for another comedy icon:
1741
01:14:43,062 --> 01:14:45,398
Chevy Chase,
whose downfall has begun
1742
01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:47,734
as he was dragged
from an LA eatery
1743
01:14:47,817 --> 01:14:49,277
for displacing condiments.
1744
01:14:49,360 --> 01:14:51,821
The troubled star was heard
to be screaming:
1745
01:14:51,905 --> 01:14:53,531
"But I won an Oscar!"
1746
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:56,326
Wait. He won an Oscar?
1747
01:14:57,911 --> 01:15:00,246
[gentle guitar music playing]
1748
01:15:00,330 --> 01:15:06,044
♪ We cut through glaciers
And coastline by the afternoon
1749
01:15:09,005 --> 01:15:11,549
♪ Rivers cut through
The gorge ♪
1750
01:15:11,633 --> 01:15:14,177
♪ And the water's clean
And the water's smooth ♪
1751
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:21,226
♪ See, I've been trying
To move along, move along ♪
1752
01:15:21,309 --> 01:15:25,104
♪ Concepting to keeping strong
For far too long ♪
1753
01:15:25,188 --> 01:15:28,358
♪ When all I had to do
Was rest my head... ♪
1754
01:15:29,776 --> 01:15:31,152
Your photos are amazing!
1755
01:15:31,236 --> 01:15:32,153
Oh. Yeah.
1756
01:15:33,071 --> 01:15:34,155
Thank you so much.
1757
01:15:34,239 --> 01:15:35,114
Uh-huh.
1758
01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:45,124
I can't believe
you've pulled this together.
1759
01:15:45,208 --> 01:15:47,460
To be honest...
1760
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:50,505
I always thought
you wouldn't amount to much.
1761
01:15:51,589 --> 01:15:53,049
Thank you...
1762
01:15:53,132 --> 01:15:54,884
Mom.
1763
01:15:57,845 --> 01:16:02,141
♪ Oh-ho, that's in gold ♪
1764
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,813
How'd he get the idea?
1765
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,525
[Josh] He is a genius.
1766
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:14,862
♪ And it doesn't
Feel right anymore ♪
1767
01:16:16,656 --> 01:16:18,074
[phone rings]
1768
01:16:18,157 --> 01:16:19,325
Hello?
1769
01:16:19,409 --> 01:16:21,452
Hey! How's it going back there?
1770
01:16:21,536 --> 01:16:22,745
Ah. All set.
1771
01:16:22,829 --> 01:16:24,789
It's pretty amazing
out here too.
1772
01:16:24,872 --> 01:16:27,792
I've never seen so much
privilege in one place.
1773
01:16:27,875 --> 01:16:30,211
Well, I hope your mum
fits right in.
1774
01:16:30,295 --> 01:16:31,671
She does.
1775
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:34,173
Can you believe
they changed their minds?
1776
01:16:34,257 --> 01:16:36,718
Yeah. [chuckles]
1777
01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:38,678
Oh. Um, I'd better let you go.
1778
01:16:44,225 --> 01:16:45,643
Nah.
1779
01:16:45,727 --> 01:16:49,772
[Man] It is with tremendous
excitement and gratitude
1780
01:16:49,856 --> 01:16:51,941
that today we honor
Mr. Paul Hogan,
1781
01:16:52,025 --> 01:16:55,236
the star of Her Majesty's
favorite movie,
1782
01:16:55,320 --> 01:16:57,780
Crocodile Dundee III.
1783
01:16:57,864 --> 01:17:01,200
Unfortunately, Mr. Hogan
couldn't be here today,
1784
01:17:01,284 --> 01:17:04,203
as he had somewhere
important to be.
1785
01:17:08,124 --> 01:17:10,918
[music swells]
1786
01:17:18,885 --> 01:17:21,721
[music continues]
1787
01:17:21,804 --> 01:17:23,431
[inaudible dialogue]
1788
01:17:27,268 --> 01:17:32,023
♪ Oh-ho, it's in gold ♪
1789
01:17:34,067 --> 01:17:35,735
♪ See, I've been trying ♪
1790
01:17:35,818 --> 01:17:37,320
Thank you. [chuckles]
1791
01:17:37,403 --> 01:17:40,448
[music continues]
1792
01:17:40,531 --> 01:17:44,410
♪ And it doesn't
Feel right anymore ♪
1793
01:17:52,835 --> 01:17:55,171
And Paul Hogan is
back in the news
1794
01:17:55,254 --> 01:17:58,716
after failing to turn up to an
appearance on The Tonight Show.
1795
01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,551
Grandpa!
1796
01:18:02,845 --> 01:18:05,223
♪ On our own ♪
1797
01:18:07,100 --> 01:18:11,104
♪ We don't have to do this
On our own ♪
1798
01:18:11,187 --> 01:18:12,855
You made it!
1799
01:18:12,939 --> 01:18:14,524
Oh, yeah.
Wouldn't want to miss this.
1800
01:18:14,607 --> 01:18:15,650
Is it true?
1801
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,151
Yeah, I'm really here.
1802
01:18:20,321 --> 01:18:22,323
But what about Chase?
1803
01:18:22,407 --> 01:18:29,288
♪ See, I've been trying
To hold on to this all alone ♪
1804
01:18:42,927 --> 01:18:46,556
And accepting
on Mr. Hogan's behalf,
1805
01:18:46,639 --> 01:18:48,641
Miss Angie Douglas.
1806
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:51,185
[music continues]
1807
01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,901
[Police on radio]:
With the subject now,
1808
01:18:58,985 --> 01:19:01,571
heading eastward
towards the 405.
1809
01:19:01,654 --> 01:19:05,158
All officers, be warned,
it is John Cleese.
1810
01:19:05,241 --> 01:19:07,076
[whistles]
1811
01:19:07,160 --> 01:19:09,829
[music continues]
1812
01:19:41,694 --> 01:19:42,862
Hello!
1813
01:19:42,945 --> 01:19:44,489
Hi. Oh, you found the place.
1814
01:19:44,572 --> 01:19:45,656
[chuckles] Yeah. Great
directions.
1815
01:19:45,740 --> 01:19:46,699
Yeah.
1816
01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:47,950
[gasps] Hello!
1817
01:19:48,034 --> 01:19:49,452
He's a little sweetie, isn't he?
1818
01:19:49,535 --> 01:19:51,829
Hello! Oh, my goodness! Hi!
1819
01:19:51,913 --> 01:19:52,914
Oh, wow!
1820
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:54,081
Paddy!
1821
01:19:54,165 --> 01:19:57,376
Oh, my goodness!
Hello, gorgeous!
1822
01:19:57,460 --> 01:19:59,962
Hello, g...
Oh, they're gorgeous.
1823
01:20:00,046 --> 01:20:01,964
What's her name? Oh, my heavens!
1824
01:20:02,048 --> 01:20:03,007
Paddy.
1825
01:20:03,090 --> 01:20:04,008
Hello, Paddy!
1826
01:20:04,091 --> 01:20:05,009
Wow!
1827
01:20:05,092 --> 01:20:06,010
Yeah.
1828
01:20:06,093 --> 01:20:07,595
How lucky are we?
1829
01:20:07,678 --> 01:20:10,389
Oh, it's so gorgeous here.
1830
01:20:21,275 --> 01:20:22,944
[Lucy] Come and play, Grandpa!
1831
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:25,780
Oh, later, sweetheart.
I gotta have my power nap.
1832
01:20:25,863 --> 01:20:27,114
[giggles] Okay.
1833
01:20:27,198 --> 01:20:28,074
Okay.
1834
01:20:31,285 --> 01:20:32,954
[sighs]
1835
01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:39,168
Ah!
1836
01:20:51,931 --> 01:20:54,225
[Wayne] ♪ Hello, my baby,
hello, my honey
1837
01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:56,435
♪ Hello, my ragtime gal
1838
01:20:56,519 --> 01:20:58,938
♪ Send me a kiss by wire
1839
01:20:59,021 --> 01:21:00,731
♪ Baby, my heart's on fire
1840
01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:02,567
♪ If you refuse me,
honey, you'll lose me
1841
01:21:02,650 --> 01:21:03,609
Oh, shit.
1842
01:21:03,693 --> 01:21:05,319
♪ Then you'll be left alone
1843
01:21:05,403 --> 01:21:09,991
♪ Oh, baby, telephone
and tell me I'm your own! ♪
1844
01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:11,492
[whistles]
1845
01:21:11,576 --> 01:21:13,536
♪ Got me feeling ♪
1846
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,413
♪ Got me feeling good ♪
1847
01:21:17,540 --> 01:21:19,750
♪ All the rocky roads ♪
1848
01:21:19,834 --> 01:21:23,462
♪ Never felt so smooth ♪
1849
01:21:23,546 --> 01:21:26,924
♪ I will shake to left
And shake to the right ♪
1850
01:21:27,008 --> 01:21:29,510
♪ Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night ♪
1851
01:21:29,594 --> 01:21:31,470
♪ Got me feeling ♪
1852
01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:34,849
♪ Got me feeling good ♪
1853
01:21:34,932 --> 01:21:37,852
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1854
01:21:37,935 --> 01:21:40,771
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1855
01:21:40,855 --> 01:21:43,899
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1856
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:47,028
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1857
01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:49,947
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1858
01:21:50,031 --> 01:21:52,908
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1859
01:21:52,992 --> 01:21:56,037
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1860
01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,915
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1861
01:21:59,999 --> 01:22:02,043
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪
1862
01:22:02,126 --> 01:22:03,794
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪
1863
01:22:03,878 --> 01:22:05,254
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪
1864
01:22:06,213 --> 01:22:08,883
[knife rasps]
1865
01:22:12,720 --> 01:22:14,555
Now, that's a...
1866
01:22:14,639 --> 01:22:17,558
really dumb way to shave.
1867
01:22:17,642 --> 01:22:19,685
♪ Gotta cut off ♪
1868
01:22:19,769 --> 01:22:22,229
♪ All my troublesome blues ♪
1869
01:22:22,313 --> 01:22:23,648
♪ Hey ♪
1870
01:22:23,731 --> 01:22:25,691
♪ Got me feeling like ♪
1871
01:22:25,775 --> 01:22:27,652
♪ I got nothing to lose ♪
1872
01:22:27,735 --> 01:22:29,362
♪ Hoo-hoo ♪
1873
01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:32,615
♪ I will shake to left
And shake to the right ♪
1874
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:35,660
♪ Shake it all day
Then I shake it all night ♪
1875
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:37,787
♪ Got me feeling ♪
1876
01:22:37,870 --> 01:22:41,123
♪ Got me feeling good
Now, now, now ♪
1877
01:22:41,207 --> 01:22:44,043
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1878
01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:46,712
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1879
01:22:46,796 --> 01:22:50,049
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1880
01:22:50,132 --> 01:22:53,094
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1881
01:22:53,177 --> 01:22:56,180
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1882
01:22:56,263 --> 01:22:58,974
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1883
01:22:59,058 --> 01:23:02,186
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1884
01:23:02,269 --> 01:23:05,439
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1885
01:23:05,523 --> 01:23:08,275
♪ You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪
1886
01:23:08,359 --> 01:23:11,612
♪ Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good ♪
1887
01:23:11,696 --> 01:23:14,365
♪ You've got me feeling good
Got me feeling good ♪
1888
01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:17,618
♪ Got me feeling good, good
Got me feeling good, good ♪
1889
01:23:17,702 --> 01:23:19,495
♪ Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good ♪
1890
01:23:19,578 --> 01:23:21,914
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good ♪
1891
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:23,666
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪
1892
01:23:23,749 --> 01:23:25,543
♪ Yeah, you've got me
Feeling good ♪
1893
01:23:25,626 --> 01:23:27,962
♪ Got me feeling good
Got me feeling good, good ♪
1894
01:23:28,045 --> 01:23:29,672
♪ Got me feeling good, good ♪
1895
01:23:29,755 --> 01:23:32,216
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1896
01:23:32,299 --> 01:23:34,969
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1897
01:23:35,052 --> 01:23:38,139
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1898
01:23:38,222 --> 01:23:41,016
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1899
01:23:41,100 --> 01:23:44,103
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1900
01:23:44,186 --> 01:23:46,772
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa ♪
1901
01:23:46,856 --> 01:23:50,192
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1902
01:23:50,276 --> 01:23:54,196
♪ You make me go:
Mm-ba-da-pa-pa-da-da ♪
1903
01:23:55,865 --> 01:23:58,242
[♪♪♪]
1904
01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:34,148
♪ You wave the shiny
Little thing in my face ♪
1905
01:26:34,231 --> 01:26:37,568
♪ But kid, your piece of
cutlery Is quite a disgrace ♪
1906
01:26:37,651 --> 01:26:40,821
♪ You look at me as if
I should now run for my life ♪
1907
01:26:40,905 --> 01:26:43,324
♪ But that's not a knife ♪
1908
01:26:43,407 --> 01:26:46,911
♪ You think your little toy
Is gonna fill me with dread ♪
1909
01:26:46,994 --> 01:26:50,080
♪ But you should take that home
File your toenails instead ♪
1910
01:26:50,164 --> 01:26:53,500
♪ You're embarrassing yourself
In front of my future wife ♪
1911
01:26:53,584 --> 01:26:56,337
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪
1912
01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:59,798
♪ You should turn away
From your life of crime ♪
1913
01:26:59,882 --> 01:27:03,177
♪ Do something more worthwhile
With your time ♪
1914
01:27:03,260 --> 01:27:06,305
♪ Buddy, why you looking
So deflated?
1915
01:27:06,388 --> 01:27:12,353
♪ Maybe 'cause your implement
Is not serrated ♪
1916
01:27:12,436 --> 01:27:15,689
♪ I can see you're not
The sharpest tool in the shed ♪
1917
01:27:15,773 --> 01:27:17,650
♪ But I wouldn't use
That little thing ♪
1918
01:27:17,733 --> 01:27:19,610
♪ To butter my bread ♪
1919
01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:22,279
♪ Kid, if I were you
I'd bloody run for my life ♪
1920
01:27:22,363 --> 01:27:25,074
♪ 'Cause that's not a knife ♪
1921
01:27:25,157 --> 01:27:28,243
♪ No, that's not a knife ♪
1922
01:27:28,327 --> 01:27:31,372
♪ No, that's not a knife ♪
1923
01:27:31,455 --> 01:27:33,123
♪ That's a knife ♪
1924
01:27:33,207 --> 01:27:36,043
♪ Oh, yes, that is a knife ♪
1925
01:27:36,126 --> 01:27:38,921
♪ That is definitely a knife ♪
1926
01:27:39,004 --> 01:27:44,301
♪ That's a knife ♪
1927
01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:45,552
That's a knife.
1928
01:27:48,138 --> 01:27:50,015
[♪♪♪]
1929
01:27:50,104 --> 01:27:55,104
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