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1
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(BARKING QUIETLY)
2
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:13,734
♪ ♪
3
00:00:13,770 --> 00:00:14,836
(YAPS)
4
00:00:14,871 --> 00:00:17,438
(PANTING)
5
00:00:17,473 --> 00:00:19,540
(SNIFFING)
6
00:00:19,576 --> 00:00:21,843
(EXCITED GIBBERISH)
7
00:00:21,878 --> 00:00:24,645
(SNIFFING)
8
00:00:24,681 --> 00:00:26,414
(CHOMPS)
9
00:00:26,449 --> 00:00:28,783
(PANICKY GASPING)
10
00:00:28,818 --> 00:00:30,451
(SNIFFS)
11
00:00:31,754 --> 00:00:32,854
(YAPS)
12
00:00:32,889 --> 00:00:34,689
Who wants popcorn...
13
00:00:34,724 --> 00:00:36,190
- Yay!
- Yay!
14
00:00:36,215 --> 00:00:38,726
...to string and put
on the Christmas tree?
15
00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:40,428
- Oh.
- Ah, damn it.
16
00:00:41,831 --> 00:00:44,599
(BOTH GROAN)
17
00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:47,468
Mom, I made an ornament
at Sunday school.
18
00:00:47,503 --> 00:00:49,637
Oh, it's so...
19
00:00:49,672 --> 00:00:51,606
sticky.
20
00:00:51,641 --> 00:00:54,142
The Popsicle juice
represents Jesus's blood.
21
00:00:54,174 --> 00:00:57,812
That would look so pretty
on the back of the tree.
22
00:00:59,616 --> 00:01:01,449
KRUSTY ORNAMENT: Do not put on tree.
23
00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:03,384
May occasionally do this:
24
00:01:03,419 --> 00:01:05,419
Beep! Beep!
25
00:01:05,455 --> 00:01:06,621
Beep!
26
00:01:06,656 --> 00:01:08,856
Ooh, look! An old Santa hat.
27
00:01:08,892 --> 00:01:11,459
You know who would love to wear this?
28
00:01:11,494 --> 00:01:12,526
No one.
29
00:01:12,562 --> 00:01:14,462
The dog!
30
00:01:14,497 --> 00:01:15,529
(BARKS, WHINES)
31
00:01:15,565 --> 00:01:17,337
Quick! Lisa, take a picture.
32
00:01:17,372 --> 00:01:19,667
I don't think he wants
to take a picture.
33
00:01:19,702 --> 00:01:21,702
(GRUNTS) Dogs... love...
34
00:01:21,738 --> 00:01:23,537
people clothes.
35
00:01:23,573 --> 00:01:25,439
(SANTA'S LITTLE HELPER WHINES "UH-UH")
36
00:01:25,475 --> 00:01:27,775
(BOTH SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
37
00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:30,478
(EXCITED GIBBERISH)
38
00:01:30,513 --> 00:01:31,779
Did you get a good picture?
39
00:01:31,814 --> 00:01:33,447
I don't think so.
40
00:01:33,483 --> 00:01:35,483
(REPEATS EXCITED GIBBERISH)
41
00:01:37,587 --> 00:01:39,553
♪ ♪
42
00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:42,723
(BARKING)
43
00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:44,725
(GASPS) He's afraid of it.
44
00:01:44,761 --> 00:01:46,827
No, he's not.
45
00:01:46,863 --> 00:01:48,663
(GROWLS, BARKS)
46
00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:51,732
(CAMERA CLICKING)
47
00:01:52,869 --> 00:01:55,703
Darn, we wasted three digital photos.
48
00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,505
(WHINING)
49
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,674
Ugh. Well, suit yourself, spoilsport.
50
00:01:59,709 --> 00:02:01,542
You're out of the card!
51
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,544
Don't worry, he's not out of the card.
52
00:02:03,579 --> 00:02:06,380
- Can we be out of the card?
- Everyone's in the card!
53
00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:08,582
Okay, but not like last year.
54
00:02:08,618 --> 00:02:09,717
BART: Ay, caramba!
55
00:02:09,752 --> 00:02:11,752
♪ Ah, jingle bell, jingle bell ♪
56
00:02:11,788 --> 00:02:13,654
♪ Jingle bell rock, oh ♪
57
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:16,490
♪ Jingle bell rock
and jingle bell rock ♪
58
00:02:16,526 --> 00:02:18,426
♪ A-rockin' and rockin' ♪
59
00:02:18,461 --> 00:02:20,428
♪ And words of the song ♪
60
00:02:20,463 --> 00:02:22,430
♪ Looks like I parked on the lawn ♪
61
00:02:22,465 --> 00:02:24,632
♪ Oh, giddyap, giddyap ♪
62
00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:26,667
♪ Giddyap, let's go ♪
63
00:02:26,703 --> 00:02:29,503
♪ There's mistletoe ♪
64
00:02:29,539 --> 00:02:31,505
♪ There's kissin' to do ♪
65
00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:34,475
♪ And lots to kiss. ♪
66
00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:38,813
(GIGGLES) Marge, you're never
gonna guess what I got you.
67
00:02:39,350 --> 00:02:40,648
D'oh! Oh!
68
00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:41,749
(MUTTERS)
69
00:02:42,819 --> 00:02:43,851
Oh!
70
00:02:44,439 --> 00:02:45,853
It ate my shorts!
71
00:02:45,888 --> 00:02:49,423
Oh, now that it's happened,
it's not so funny.
72
00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:51,659
Homie, we have to talk
about the difference
73
00:02:51,694 --> 00:02:55,563
between gifts
and household supplies. Hmm?
74
00:02:55,598 --> 00:02:56,664
Uh-oh.
75
00:02:56,699 --> 00:02:59,667
LISA (GASPS): Oh, my God!
76
00:02:59,702 --> 00:03:01,402
What's all the fu... (SCREAMS)
77
00:03:01,437 --> 00:03:02,603
(GASPS) What the...
78
00:03:02,638 --> 00:03:05,506
That dog better have a good explanation!
79
00:03:05,541 --> 00:03:06,807
Um... I did it.
80
00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:08,609
Hit me with the newspaper.
81
00:03:08,644 --> 00:03:10,611
You know I get my news online.
82
00:03:10,646 --> 00:03:11,712
Guys...
83
00:03:11,748 --> 00:03:14,648
what is Santa's Little Helper doing?
84
00:03:14,684 --> 00:03:17,618
I think something is
very wrong with him.
85
00:03:17,653 --> 00:03:20,821
I think maybe we should take
him to a dog psychologist.
86
00:03:20,857 --> 00:03:23,491
Dog psychologist, eh?
87
00:03:23,526 --> 00:03:25,426
Get off the couch. Get off.
88
00:03:25,461 --> 00:03:26,560
Get off!
89
00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:27,762
(HOWLS)
90
00:03:27,797 --> 00:03:29,764
Dad, I know what you're thinking.
91
00:03:29,799 --> 00:03:31,766
It's not that.
92
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:35,536
Elaine Wolff is giving a
free lecture tomorrow night.
93
00:03:35,571 --> 00:03:36,804
She's a legend.
94
00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:38,539
Oh, not tomorrow.
95
00:03:38,574 --> 00:03:41,442
Tomorrow's UFC fight 243.
96
00:03:41,477 --> 00:03:44,445
Why do you care so much
about one stupid fight?
97
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,580
'Cause he paid 60 bucks to watch it.
98
00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:49,417
(GASPS) 60 bucks to watch a fight?
99
00:03:49,452 --> 00:03:51,652
Actually, 70. I got it in HD.
100
00:03:51,687 --> 00:03:53,821
We don't even have an HDTV.
101
00:03:53,856 --> 00:03:55,856
I wanted the pay-per-view operator
102
00:03:55,892 --> 00:03:58,759
to think I was a big shot.
103
00:03:58,795 --> 00:04:00,061
(CRIES SOFTLY)
104
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,630
LISA (DISTORTED, ECHOING):
He's staring at that smudge...
105
00:04:02,665 --> 00:04:04,532
smudge... smudge.
106
00:04:04,567 --> 00:04:06,534
(DISTORTED, ECHOING):
What's wrong with that dog...
107
00:04:06,569 --> 00:04:08,539
dog... dog?
108
00:04:08,574 --> 00:04:09,770
GRAMPA: I need my pill...
109
00:04:09,806 --> 00:04:11,572
pill... pill!
110
00:04:11,607 --> 00:04:13,574
That's three pills!
111
00:04:13,609 --> 00:04:15,576
♪ ♪
112
00:04:17,847 --> 00:04:19,580
(BARKS)
113
00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:21,682
(WHINING)
114
00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:23,747
(CHUCKLES)
115
00:04:23,753 --> 00:04:25,619
I love playing Candy Crush.
116
00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:27,521
(GRUNTING)
117
00:04:27,557 --> 00:04:29,523
Dad, I need to tell you something,
118
00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:31,525
but I've come to the sad conclusion
119
00:04:31,561 --> 00:04:34,528
that you have difficulty
hearing the female voice.
120
00:04:34,564 --> 00:04:37,498
Aw, I love you, too, honey.
121
00:04:37,533 --> 00:04:38,566
(LOW GRUNT)
122
00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:40,634
Therefore, I have deputized Bart
123
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:42,570
to speak for me.
124
00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:44,405
How you doin'?
125
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,408
"Father, I believe
you're an honorable man."
126
00:04:47,443 --> 00:04:48,676
(SPUTTERS) Really?
127
00:04:48,711 --> 00:04:50,511
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
128
00:04:50,546 --> 00:04:53,681
"In times of peril, you, um...
129
00:04:53,716 --> 00:04:55,479
even... event..."
130
00:04:55,514 --> 00:04:56,617
(WHISPERS): "Eventually."
131
00:04:56,652 --> 00:04:58,652
"...eventually do the right thing,
132
00:04:58,688 --> 00:05:01,522
"but Santa's Little Helper is in crisis,
133
00:05:01,557 --> 00:05:04,492
and 'eventually' may be too late."
134
00:05:04,527 --> 00:05:06,427
Aw. Well said, boy.
135
00:05:06,462 --> 00:05:09,563
And, Lisa, for writing it,
you win my highest honor,
136
00:05:09,599 --> 00:05:12,566
a hearty Homer hug. Mm.
137
00:05:12,602 --> 00:05:14,368
Aw...
138
00:05:14,403 --> 00:05:16,370
Now we party.
139
00:05:17,507 --> 00:05:18,706
- (SNORTING)
- Ew!
140
00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:20,641
Why do you eat candy that way?
141
00:05:20,676 --> 00:05:22,743
- I already brushed my teeth.
- Oh.
142
00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:24,805
_
143
00:05:29,452 --> 00:05:30,484
(MICROPHONE FEEDBACK)
144
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,486
(CLEARS THROAT) Good evening.
145
00:05:32,522 --> 00:05:36,390
"The more I spend time with dogs,
the more I realize
146
00:05:36,425 --> 00:05:39,560
that I entirely prefer them to people."
147
00:05:39,595 --> 00:05:40,661
(LAUGHTER)
148
00:05:40,696 --> 00:05:41,829
No, no, I'm serious.
149
00:05:41,864 --> 00:05:44,431
I really despise you.
150
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,834
Despise us?
I... Hey, as the owner of a dog,
151
00:05:46,869 --> 00:05:50,504
a tiger and a dolphin,
I am highly offended.
152
00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:51,672
Highly!
153
00:05:51,707 --> 00:05:53,107
Okay, first of all,
154
00:05:53,113 --> 00:05:55,743
I hate that you call yourselves
"owners."
155
00:05:55,778 --> 00:05:58,479
You own living beings?
156
00:05:58,514 --> 00:06:00,447
(SCOFFS) Nice.
157
00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:01,615
(GROANS SOFTLY)
158
00:06:01,651 --> 00:06:03,617
(PHONE RINGS)
159
00:06:03,653 --> 00:06:05,352
(QUIETLY): Uh, hello?
160
00:06:05,388 --> 00:06:08,355
Clayton, I can't talk right now.
161
00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:09,456
I've left her.
162
00:06:09,492 --> 00:06:11,559
I have left my wife.
163
00:06:11,594 --> 00:06:12,760
What? Really?
164
00:06:12,795 --> 00:06:16,392
You and I have loved each
other since primary school.
165
00:06:16,427 --> 00:06:17,531
She knew that,
166
00:06:17,567 --> 00:06:20,568
so I think she was relieved.
167
00:06:20,603 --> 00:06:21,669
Oh, Clay.
168
00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:24,505
I'd stopped allowing myself to hope.
169
00:06:24,540 --> 00:06:27,441
But, uh... I think
I got to call you right back.
170
00:06:27,476 --> 00:06:29,410
No, no! Stay on the call.
171
00:06:29,445 --> 00:06:30,678
We're invested.
172
00:06:30,713 --> 00:06:32,947
I have to go. I'm giving a lecture.
173
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,515
Wait! Wait!
174
00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:36,050
We're getting married, right?
175
00:06:36,102 --> 00:06:37,685
Yeah, sure, sure, yeah, whatever.
176
00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:38,786
Wait!
177
00:06:38,821 --> 00:06:40,421
Oh. Yes.
178
00:06:40,456 --> 00:06:42,756
You don't deserve dogs!
179
00:06:42,792 --> 00:06:44,625
They sniff out your diseases
180
00:06:44,660 --> 00:06:46,860
and comfort you when you ride planes.
181
00:06:46,896 --> 00:06:51,765
And I constantly hear:
"How do I get my dog to listen?"
182
00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:54,602
- Choke him till he taps out!
- Oh, good God!
183
00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,637
Always what can your dog do for you.
184
00:06:56,672 --> 00:06:58,872
Never once has somebody asked:
185
00:06:58,908 --> 00:07:03,577
"What is my dog trying to say?"
186
00:07:04,614 --> 00:07:05,679
Bad! Bad!
187
00:07:05,715 --> 00:07:07,715
All of you, bad!
188
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,718
This was the worst extension
class I ever took. My God.
189
00:07:10,753 --> 00:07:12,720
It was even worse than flower arranging.
190
00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:15,456
I mean, who can say where
baby's breath should go?
191
00:07:15,491 --> 00:07:17,758
Huh. Not I. Tell you that much.
192
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:19,360
Uh, ma'am...
193
00:07:19,395 --> 00:07:20,494
- Down.
- (WHIMPERS)
194
00:07:20,529 --> 00:07:22,463
It's okay. We're friendly.
195
00:07:22,498 --> 00:07:24,565
Ma'am, I know you were once
196
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,668
a young, inquisitive girl like me.
197
00:07:27,703 --> 00:07:28,769
Mm, not like you, no.
198
00:07:28,804 --> 00:07:30,704
I knew when to keep quiet.
199
00:07:30,740 --> 00:07:34,114
(CRYING): Please.
My dog is having a breakdown.
200
00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,710
So if these tears mean nothing to you...
201
00:07:36,746 --> 00:07:37,845
(SOBBING)
202
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,415
...help our dog, or let's do this!
203
00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:43,484
Hold my pearls!
204
00:07:44,187 --> 00:07:45,552
Look, I'm sorry,
205
00:07:45,588 --> 00:07:46,620
I just can't d...
206
00:07:46,656 --> 00:07:48,722
(GASPS): Oh, my.
207
00:07:48,758 --> 00:07:50,858
(WHINES, PANTS)
208
00:07:50,893 --> 00:07:52,593
You poor boy.
209
00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:54,728
You've got a story to tell.
210
00:07:54,764 --> 00:07:58,632
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
211
00:07:58,668 --> 00:08:00,734
Could you teach us to do what you do?
212
00:08:01,066 --> 00:08:03,137
To see the world through his eyes?
213
00:08:03,162 --> 00:08:05,339
Oh, not through his eyes.
214
00:08:05,374 --> 00:08:06,573
That's the point.
215
00:08:06,609 --> 00:08:09,476
A dog's dominant sense is smell.
216
00:08:09,512 --> 00:08:12,646
(SNIFFS) He sees the
world with his nose,
217
00:08:12,682 --> 00:08:16,684
and his nose sees so
much more than our eyes.
218
00:08:16,719 --> 00:08:19,820
For instance, we see a lamppost.
219
00:08:19,855 --> 00:08:24,792
Your dog sees everyone
who's ever been here.
220
00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:26,794
♪ ♪
221
00:08:34,704 --> 00:08:37,705
(EXCITED GIBBERISH)
222
00:08:39,742 --> 00:08:41,575
- (THUNDER CRASHES)
- (GROANS)
223
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:46,480
Hmm. He really likes you.
224
00:08:46,515 --> 00:08:48,415
He adores me. Knows I can help him.
225
00:08:48,451 --> 00:08:49,683
Wants me to love him back.
226
00:08:49,719 --> 00:08:50,851
But I can't.
227
00:08:50,886 --> 00:08:53,854
A woman can only scoop so much poop.
228
00:08:55,691 --> 00:08:56,757
Stay.
229
00:08:56,792 --> 00:08:58,525
Good stay.
230
00:08:59,862 --> 00:09:01,662
♪ ♪
231
00:09:03,766 --> 00:09:05,366
Mm...
232
00:09:07,982 --> 00:09:10,104
Come on, get to the part that helps us.
233
00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:12,339
I'm trying. In the acknowledgements,
234
00:09:12,375 --> 00:09:15,542
she thanks all 101 dalmatians!
235
00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,544
Well, at least
I can wash this filthy hat.
236
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:18,589
(GROWLS)
237
00:09:18,614 --> 00:09:20,447
- Ow!
- (HOMER SHRIEKS)
238
00:09:20,483 --> 00:09:21,648
(STAMMERING)
239
00:09:21,684 --> 00:09:24,385
Bad dog! Very bad dog!
240
00:09:24,420 --> 00:09:25,652
Crap dog!
241
00:09:25,688 --> 00:09:27,654
(WHINING)
242
00:09:28,266 --> 00:09:30,424
Lisa, quick! Get the first aid kit!
243
00:09:30,459 --> 00:09:32,693
But we don't have a first aid kit.
244
00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:35,496
- Look under the tree.
- Oh.
245
00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:41,706
(WHINES)
246
00:09:41,742 --> 00:09:44,542
Well, if he's staying outside,
I'm staying outside.
247
00:09:44,578 --> 00:09:46,151
You are not staying outside!
248
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,562
You are not the boss here!
249
00:09:47,598 --> 00:09:51,299
Well, I am,
and he paid me to tell you what to do.
250
00:09:51,335 --> 00:09:53,301
This boy is sleeping outside.
251
00:09:53,337 --> 00:09:54,403
Yes, sir.
252
00:09:55,706 --> 00:09:57,539
(MARGE SIGHS)
253
00:09:57,574 --> 00:10:00,575
- What are we going to do?
- Aw, no problem, sweetie.
254
00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:03,311
There are a lot of
dog doctors out there.
255
00:10:03,347 --> 00:10:04,356
(HUMMING)
256
00:10:04,357 --> 00:10:07,037
_
257
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:11,553
Hey. Hello.
258
00:10:11,588 --> 00:10:13,974
Oh, look at this handsome guy.
259
00:10:14,009 --> 00:10:15,424
What's up with you, fella?
260
00:10:15,459 --> 00:10:17,459
Um, he bit my mom.
261
00:10:17,494 --> 00:10:19,294
Oh, I see.
Well, we've had a cancellation,
262
00:10:19,329 --> 00:10:21,496
so if you like,
we can just put him down right now.
263
00:10:21,532 --> 00:10:22,597
- What?!
- No!
264
00:10:22,633 --> 00:10:25,333
I-I don't think that's necessary.
265
00:10:25,369 --> 00:10:27,436
Oh, no, I'm afraid
once a biter always a biter.
266
00:10:27,471 --> 00:10:29,337
Unless you, like,
train 'em or something,
267
00:10:29,373 --> 00:10:31,373
but that's... that's crazy hard.
268
00:10:31,408 --> 00:10:33,341
Would you like a minute to say goodbye?
269
00:10:33,377 --> 00:10:35,093
No way. We're leaving.
270
00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:37,679
And I don't even want to look at you.
271
00:10:37,715 --> 00:10:39,614
Hmm. I feel like the Pixar logo.
272
00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,349
- (CLATTERING)
- D'oh!
273
00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:43,452
What are we going to do with the dog?
274
00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,721
I guess he's just gonna
have to stay in the doghouse
275
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:48,490
I built for him.
276
00:10:48,525 --> 00:10:50,492
- D'oh!
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
277
00:10:51,461 --> 00:10:54,296
Hey-a, kids.
The vet reported your dog as a biter,
278
00:10:54,331 --> 00:10:57,399
so I'm supposed to wait until
animal control gets here
279
00:10:57,434 --> 00:10:58,633
to take him away.
280
00:10:58,669 --> 00:10:59,735
- (GASPS)
- What?
281
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:01,703
So, uh, well, while we wait,
282
00:11:01,739 --> 00:11:04,339
uh, you want to play Simon Says?
283
00:11:04,374 --> 00:11:06,274
Simon says don't kill our dog.
284
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:07,676
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm Simon.
285
00:11:07,711 --> 00:11:09,344
(LAUGHS): You're-you're not Simon.
286
00:11:09,379 --> 00:11:12,581
(MOANS) Dad! They're coming for our dog!
287
00:11:12,616 --> 00:11:16,718
I won't let you, you...
you big blue balloon.
288
00:11:16,754 --> 00:11:20,422
Ooh, I like the image.
Hey, imagine me in a parade, huh?
289
00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:21,623
Oh, boy.
290
00:11:24,762 --> 00:11:26,428
Oh, darn it.
291
00:11:26,463 --> 00:11:27,629
You call them and tell them
292
00:11:27,664 --> 00:11:30,599
we are not letting you take our dog.
293
00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,634
I can't cancel.
They're already on the app.
294
00:11:32,669 --> 00:11:35,303
It says they're six minutes away. See?
295
00:11:35,339 --> 00:11:36,738
Uh-huh.
296
00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:38,473
Oh, they missed a turn.
297
00:11:38,509 --> 00:11:39,875
Oh, now they're doing a U-ey.
298
00:11:39,957 --> 00:11:43,512
Geez, hope this guy euthanizes
better than he drives.
299
00:11:43,547 --> 00:11:45,313
Dad, quick, take our dog
300
00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:47,315
and drive as far and fast as you can.
301
00:11:47,351 --> 00:11:48,517
- (WHISPERS): Yes, sir.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
302
00:11:48,552 --> 00:11:49,651
(ALL GASP)
303
00:11:49,686 --> 00:11:51,620
Oh, God, it's too late.
304
00:11:52,555 --> 00:11:53,622
Dr. Wolff?
305
00:11:53,657 --> 00:11:55,657
Look, I need to tell you this one thing.
306
00:11:55,692 --> 00:11:57,592
Something I saw in your dog's eyes.
307
00:11:57,628 --> 00:12:00,295
He's at breaking point,
and unless he has
308
00:12:00,330 --> 00:12:03,532
some kind of catharsis,
something terrible could happen.
309
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,267
He bit my mom.
310
00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:06,501
It is gratifying to be right.
311
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,938
Oh, how awful.
312
00:12:10,005 --> 00:12:12,541
Animal control is coming
to get him right now.
313
00:12:12,576 --> 00:12:16,278
You can't stop them.
They got sticks with wire loops.
314
00:12:16,313 --> 00:12:17,679
Kids, pack his things.
315
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:21,349
And I'll need this.
This dog is coming with me.
316
00:12:21,385 --> 00:12:23,418
Well, I am not leaving here
empty-handed.
317
00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:25,420
- Make me a sandwich.
- No.
318
00:12:25,455 --> 00:12:26,555
Okay, all right.
319
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:28,623
Being a police chief really sucks.
320
00:12:30,460 --> 00:12:33,295
- Here you go.
- (SNIFFLES)
321
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,563
(MOANS)
322
00:12:34,598 --> 00:12:36,565
Listen, I packed you some biscuits.
323
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,268
And even though I deplore
the killing of all animals,
324
00:12:40,304 --> 00:12:43,305
when you come to the salami,
it's from me.
325
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:47,542
(MOANS) Now who will
chase squirrels with me?
326
00:12:47,578 --> 00:12:48,610
(WHINES)
327
00:12:50,547 --> 00:12:52,514
(SIREN WAILING)
328
00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:54,516
(GROANS) You better get going.
329
00:12:54,551 --> 00:12:56,718
Wait. I'm not an emotional guy, but...
330
00:13:00,324 --> 00:13:01,456
Mwah.
331
00:13:03,293 --> 00:13:05,729
(CHUCKLES) Get a doghouse, you two.
332
00:13:08,047 --> 00:13:09,437
_
333
00:13:09,438 --> 00:13:10,438
(DOGS BARKING)
334
00:13:13,243 --> 00:13:17,245
Here. Have some Snausage
water as you watch this video.
335
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:20,214
NARRATOR: Here at the Institute,
there are no bad dogs.
336
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:22,216
In answer to the age-old question,
337
00:13:22,252 --> 00:13:26,054
"Who's a good dog?" You are. You are.
338
00:13:26,089 --> 00:13:28,256
Relax in our pile of wet dead leaves
339
00:13:28,291 --> 00:13:31,225
or enjoy fine dining at
The Dropped Porkchop.
340
00:13:31,261 --> 00:13:34,495
And here's our guarantee to you:
no fireworks.
341
00:13:34,531 --> 00:13:37,231
We'll have you feeling
better in no time.
342
00:13:37,267 --> 00:13:40,101
Well, uh, there's nothing
physically wrong with you,
343
00:13:40,136 --> 00:13:43,204
but to establish trust,
I'll sleep in your den tonight.
344
00:13:46,209 --> 00:13:50,478
Well, a little bit of, uh,
reading before bed? (CHUCKLES)
345
00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,180
(SQUEAKING)
346
00:13:52,215 --> 00:13:53,481
(SIGHS)
347
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,251
♪ ♪
348
00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:59,153
(WHINES, BARKS)
349
00:13:59,189 --> 00:14:01,322
"Dog having nightmare,
350
00:14:01,358 --> 00:14:05,059
perhaps about the root of it all."
351
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,062
♪ ♪
352
00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:34,155
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
353
00:14:34,190 --> 00:14:35,456
(BARKS)
354
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:38,192
Oh, you poor thing.
355
00:14:38,228 --> 00:14:41,195
Have some Lambien. It'll help you sleep.
356
00:14:42,432 --> 00:14:44,465
(MOANS CONTENTEDLY)
357
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:50,505
Dad, am I gonna get my dog back?
358
00:14:50,540 --> 00:14:52,407
(LAUGHS): Of course.
359
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:56,459
But just in case,
I know this isn't the kind of thing
360
00:14:56,494 --> 00:14:59,380
a father says to his son,
but let's pray.
361
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:03,251
Almighty patron saint of dogs,
Saint Bernard...
362
00:15:03,286 --> 00:15:06,354
- Oh, can I join in?
- Sure.
363
00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:09,120
- I'll pray, too.
- Wow.
364
00:15:09,155 --> 00:15:11,259
Losing our dog, possibly forever,
365
00:15:11,294 --> 00:15:13,027
has really brought us together.
366
00:15:13,063 --> 00:15:14,328
No!
367
00:15:14,364 --> 00:15:16,264
Sorry, sorry. Back to the prayer.
368
00:15:16,299 --> 00:15:18,466
Okay, now I need to see
what set you off.
369
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:23,137
How do you feel about Marge?
370
00:15:23,173 --> 00:15:25,373
(SNIFFING, PANTING)
371
00:15:25,408 --> 00:15:28,076
- (THUNDER CRASHES)
- (WHIMPERING)
372
00:15:31,214 --> 00:15:34,182
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
373
00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,483
(SIGHS)
374
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,486
She is comfort. Hmm.
375
00:15:38,821 --> 00:15:41,389
- So, what happened?
- CLAY: Elaine?
376
00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:42,823
Hello?
377
00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:46,427
The car is here. Tuscany awaits.
378
00:15:46,462 --> 00:15:47,828
Oh, Clay.
379
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,764
Ugh, I should have called.
380
00:15:49,799 --> 00:15:52,767
Darling, I've done something impulsive.
381
00:15:52,802 --> 00:15:56,404
You know how Mother always
wanted you to wear her ring,
382
00:15:56,439 --> 00:15:59,507
but she died at a time
when we had no hope.
383
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:02,743
And in my heartache,
I let them bury her with it.
384
00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:07,581
So I dug her up and,
uh, will you marry me?
385
00:16:07,617 --> 00:16:09,650
I know "exhumed"
386
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:13,554
isn't usually the most
romantic word, but...
387
00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:17,425
Oh, Clay. I can't marry you now.
388
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,560
But I can meet you in
Tuscany in a few weeks.
389
00:16:19,595 --> 00:16:20,761
I might not be there.
390
00:16:20,797 --> 00:16:24,331
I can't compete with a wagging tail.
391
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,399
Goodbye, Clay.
392
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:28,702
I want you to know I'm already over you.
393
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:32,339
- (WHIMPERING)
- Oh, no, no, not your fault.
394
00:16:32,375 --> 00:16:34,475
Human nonsense. Let's get back to work.
395
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:36,477
(CRIES)
396
00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,616
Today, I want you
to interact with the pack.
397
00:16:42,652 --> 00:16:45,553
Mingle. Sniff a butt you don't know.
398
00:16:50,493 --> 00:16:51,826
- (SNIFFING)
- (GROWLING)
399
00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:53,828
- (BARKS)
- (YELPING)
400
00:16:53,863 --> 00:16:56,530
Okay, interesting.
401
00:16:56,566 --> 00:16:58,365
Let's explore that.
402
00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,705
(WHIMPERING)
403
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,707
(BARKING)
404
00:17:06,742 --> 00:17:09,410
You buried this here. Why?
405
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,346
Is this the key that
unlocks your psyche?
406
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,348
Bark once for "yes," bark twice
407
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,484
for "that's too simplistic a
view of canine psychology."
408
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:17,685
(BARKS TWICE)
409
00:17:18,754 --> 00:17:21,622
Oh, hi. Is that our dog?
410
00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:25,559
(WHISPERS): Or one that looks
just like it to fool the kids?
411
00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:28,401
(GASPS) You're back! Aw.
412
00:17:28,436 --> 00:17:30,364
Where did this come from?
413
00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:33,534
Uh, I would have to say the North Pole?
414
00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:35,520
Wait, Dad?
That was the hat I was wearing
415
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,556
the night we got Santa's Little Helper,
remember?
416
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:39,691
- Go! Go! Come on, boy!
- Go, Santa's Little Helper!
417
00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,559
- Run! Run!
- Come on! Get that rabbit!
418
00:17:41,595 --> 00:17:43,862
ANNOUNCER: Dog of War coming
up fast on the outside...
419
00:17:43,907 --> 00:17:46,732
Aw, can we keep him, Dad? Please?
420
00:17:46,747 --> 00:17:49,734
But he's a loser. He's pathetic.
421
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,736
He's...
422
00:17:52,684 --> 00:17:54,072
a Simpson.
423
00:17:54,131 --> 00:17:56,741
Santa's Little Helper was a racing dog?
424
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,644
(SCOFFS) Not much of one.
Even I could beat him.
425
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,346
Oh, it's all clear now.
426
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,281
Your dog has PTSD.
427
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:04,582
And he has to confront his abuser,
428
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,651
and he's gonna do it right now.
429
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:10,388
Actually, we're in the middle
of a holiday brunch, so...
430
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,357
But I-I'm with you.
431
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:13,758
Uh, goodbye, everybody.
432
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,529
So, how many balls are we
allowed of croquembouche?
433
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,332
Let's see if they have HBO GO.
434
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,734
I've wanted to watch Euphoria,
435
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:25,470
but I'm embarrassed to have
it in my viewing history.
436
00:18:26,725 --> 00:18:28,135
_
437
00:18:31,378 --> 00:18:33,511
Les Moore? Greyhound trainer?
438
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:36,347
- Yeah, that's me.
- Dog abuser!
439
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,750
Can I offer you a drink
to throw in my face?
440
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,752
- Yeah, I'd like that.
- Yes, I bet you would.
441
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,754
I was being sarcastic, naturally.
442
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,355
(GRUNTS)
443
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,424
Not all trainers are monsters.
444
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,561
Yeah, I remember this mutt.
Uh, Santa's Little Helper.
445
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,563
Yeah! Hey, what'd you rename him?
446
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,332
- We didn't.
- Boy, are you lazy.
447
00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,734
He was born to one of the
fastest in the business,
448
00:18:56,770 --> 00:18:58,336
She Biscuit.
449
00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:00,338
Oh, he was her favorite.
450
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,440
And boy, did he love her.
451
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:04,409
That's how we learned how fast he was.
452
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:07,378
So naturally,
we took him from his mother forever.
453
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,581
- (LOUD SLAP)
- Did you just slap me again?
454
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,516
- That was me.
- You cut the line.
455
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,518
- I want to slap. (GRUNTS)
- Ow.
456
00:19:13,553 --> 00:19:14,619
- (GRUNTING)
- Ow. Ow.
457
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,621
- Here, Maggie.
- Ow.
458
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,690
There. Now we've all had a turn.
459
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,491
- Not quite.
- (GROWLING)
460
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,627
Ow! Okay, I get it.
461
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:26,497
Boy, suddenly, the guy
who tortures dogs is the bad guy.
462
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,700
(WHIMPERING)
463
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,602
Now what does he want?
464
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,737
("THE WAY WE WERE" PLAYING)
465
00:19:34,462 --> 00:19:35,740
Son of a gun.
466
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,375
Where's he going?
467
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,443
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
468
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,345
To his, uh, to his mother.
469
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,481
Oh, I love happy endings.
470
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,450
♪ ♪
471
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:04,369
♪ Memories ♪
472
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:08,606
♪ Light the corners of my mind... ♪
473
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,442
He'll be all right now.
(CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES)
474
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,444
Thank you so much.
475
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,446
Oh, you're welcome.
476
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,582
(SIGHS) I better be getting home.
477
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:20,485
I've got 20 dogs to walk. (CHUCKLES)
478
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,521
I could, uh, use some help.
479
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,556
(MARGE GRUMBLES SOFTLY)
480
00:20:26,332 --> 00:20:27,363
Fine.
481
00:20:29,846 --> 00:20:34,989
It's so great everyone in this
family worked out their issues.
482
00:21:26,464 --> 00:21:28,418
_
483
00:21:30,044 --> 00:21:31,112
Shh.
484
00:21:34,217 --> 00:21:37,184
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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