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1
00:00:06,481 --> 00:00:10,235
♪ I would like to leave this city
2
00:00:10,281 --> 00:00:14,991
♪ This old town don't smell
too pretty and
3
00:00:15,041 --> 00:00:18,670
♪ I can feel the warning signs
4
00:00:18,721 --> 00:00:22,475
♪ Running around my mind
5
00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:26,275
♪ So what do you say?
6
00:00:26,321 --> 00:00:31,031
♪ You can't give me the dreams
that are mine anyway
7
00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:34,915
♪ You're half the world away
8
00:00:35,521 --> 00:00:38,354
♪ Half the world away
9
00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:42,593
♪ Half the world away ♪
10
00:00:43,241 --> 00:00:47,154
- (Barbara) It's like a lovely ripe peach.
- (Baby David gurgling)
11
00:00:47,201 --> 00:00:50,591
Oh, I could eat it. I could, really.
12
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:56,231
Ooh! Baby David!
13
00:00:56,281 --> 00:00:58,272
You've got a lovely bot-bot.
14
00:00:58,321 --> 00:01:01,438
You have! Yes, you have!
15
00:01:01,481 --> 00:01:04,120
Not like Nana. Nana's is going south.
16
00:01:04,921 --> 00:01:07,310
Nana's is neither use nor ornament.
17
00:01:07,361 --> 00:01:08,953
(Chuckles)
18
00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:11,640
- Right, we're off for our little nap.
- Aaah!
19
00:01:11,681 --> 00:01:14,320
Bye-bye, Grandad.
20
00:01:15,361 --> 00:01:17,750
(Silly voice) Bye-bye, Baby David.
21
00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:20,552
Bye-bye, Mummy.
22
00:01:20,601 --> 00:01:24,480
- Bye-bye, Baby David.
- Bye-bye, Daddy.
23
00:01:24,521 --> 00:01:26,955
Bye-bye, Baby David.
24
00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:28,992
Here you are, Ant.
25
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:34,474
Ra-ra-ra-ra! Bye-bye, Baby David.
26
00:01:34,521 --> 00:01:37,240
- Put a nappy on him, will you, love?
- Ba-ba-ba.
27
00:01:37,281 --> 00:01:40,398
- Bye-bye-bye!
- (Gurgles)
28
00:01:40,441 --> 00:01:42,432
(# Hums)
29
00:01:42,481 --> 00:01:44,711
♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star
30
00:01:44,761 --> 00:01:46,911
♪ How I wonder what you are
31
00:01:46,961 --> 00:01:48,997
♪ Up above the world so high
32
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:50,759
♪ Like a little diamond in the sky ♪
33
00:01:51,641 --> 00:01:55,316
(TV) We decided that he should
do a stint behind the deli counter.
34
00:01:56,161 --> 00:01:59,358
- Ah, ta, Mam.
- (Man) Well, Noreen, what do you think?
35
00:01:59,401 --> 00:02:01,835
Oh, very nice.
You look whiter than white.
36
00:02:01,881 --> 00:02:03,872
- Matches my character.
- Mm.
37
00:02:03,921 --> 00:02:07,516
Now, these cheeses.
Take me over and show me this counter.
38
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,711
- Cos I don't know anything really.
- Ta.
39
00:02:09,761 --> 00:02:13,310
There's a certain type I like.
See if you can guess what cheese I like.
40
00:02:13,361 --> 00:02:16,080
- Come on, you like all this mystery stuff.
- (Laughs)
41
00:02:16,121 --> 00:02:18,681
I bet you like a mature, strong cheese.
42
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,996
- She's dead right.
- (Laughs)
43
00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:24,795
My father used to love these... these
mouldy ones, with all the blue.
44
00:02:24,841 --> 00:02:26,957
- So did mine.
- I used to have Danish Blue.
45
00:02:27,001 --> 00:02:30,198
- Don't you like those?
- No. I don't mind 'em now.
46
00:02:30,241 --> 00:02:32,391
- Couldrt eat 'em when I was young.
- No.
47
00:02:32,441 --> 00:02:34,511
Your palate changes as you get older.
48
00:02:34,561 --> 00:02:37,075
- It's true, that.
- Not that much older.
49
00:02:37,121 --> 00:02:40,272
I mean, prefer mature ones,
as I'm maturing.
50
00:02:40,321 --> 00:02:43,757
(Noreen, laughing) That's your Mexicana,
it's full of spices.
51
00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:45,598
- What, chillies and that?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:48,951
Dave? How's the farmyard going?
53
00:02:49,001 --> 00:02:52,391
Oh, it's all right, Barbara,
I've nearly finished it now.
54
00:02:53,201 --> 00:02:55,510
I want to give it to Baby David next week
55
00:02:55,561 --> 00:02:58,075
on the morning of his christening,
as a present.
56
00:02:58,121 --> 00:03:01,158
- Aww.
- (Jim) Want any bullshit for it, Dave?
57
00:03:01,201 --> 00:03:03,715
Barbara's got plenty going spare.
58
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:08,399
- Try that?
- Yes, that's quite nice, actually.
59
00:03:08,441 --> 00:03:11,114
- I like cranberries.
- We do one with strawberries.
60
00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:13,880
I wouldn't like that.
Cranberries would be nice.
61
00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:17,231
- Could I try a bit of this?
- Oh, Mam, guess what, right?
62
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:21,797
The other day, right, I just took my eyes
off Baby David, just for a second, right,
63
00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:23,911
while Richard & Judy was on.
64
00:03:23,961 --> 00:03:27,840
And the next thing, he only tipped
a full ashtray all over himself.
65
00:03:27,881 --> 00:03:31,760
Aww! Aww!
Arert they lovely at that age?
66
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:34,395
- Yeah.
- Aww. I bet he looked dead cute, did he?
67
00:03:34,441 --> 00:03:36,033
- (Denise) Yeah!
- (Chuckles)
68
00:03:36,081 --> 00:03:38,117
I didn't have the heart to tell him off.
69
00:03:38,161 --> 00:03:40,800
They're into everything at that age,
aren't they?
70
00:03:40,841 --> 00:03:44,038
- Yeah.
- Who's brave enough to try a sample...
71
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:46,800
- Dave took a picture of it.
- Ooh, was Dave there?
72
00:03:46,841 --> 00:03:49,913
No, but I waited till he came home
from work, you know.
73
00:03:49,961 --> 00:03:52,839
- It's a belter, Barbara.
- Aww.
74
00:03:52,881 --> 00:03:55,475
(Man) Right, where's this? Take this one.
75
00:03:56,401 --> 00:03:58,517
- Turkey breast, please.
- This one here.
76
00:03:58,561 --> 00:04:00,119
- Yes please.
- How much?
77
00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:02,356
- A quarter.
- That's not very much.
78
00:04:02,401 --> 00:04:05,040
- He's done this before, I'm sure.
- I'd say...
79
00:04:05,081 --> 00:04:07,515
- It's a treat for my cat.
- Your cat?
80
00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:09,631
- Yeah.
- Oh, right.
81
00:04:09,681 --> 00:04:12,593
- He'll only come in for it.
- And where's the weight?
82
00:04:12,641 --> 00:04:16,236
- Turkey breast. Press that, yeah?
- Put turkey breast. Press that.
83
00:04:16,281 --> 00:04:18,670
For cooked turkey, 140 grams.
84
00:04:18,721 --> 00:04:20,200
- 69 pence.
- Denise?
85
00:04:21,521 --> 00:04:24,752
- Yeah?
- Could you give us a bit of a borrow?
86
00:04:24,801 --> 00:04:26,359
No.
87
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:31,116
Now I've seen this done in
my supermarket, where you fold it over...
88
00:04:31,161 --> 00:04:33,391
- Dave?
- Mm?
89
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:38,473
- Can I borrow a few quid, Dave?
- I'm a bit short at the moment. Sorry.
90
00:04:41,161 --> 00:04:42,355
(Laughter on TV)
91
00:04:43,961 --> 00:04:45,952
- Mum...
- Yes, love?
92
00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:49,073
(Coughs) Could I lend
a few pounds off you?
93
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:52,033
Aah. No. Sorry.
94
00:04:55,881 --> 00:04:58,315
Hi, can I help you?
95
00:04:58,361 --> 00:04:59,874
- Dad?
- No.
96
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:03,231
Let me see.
I'll start from scratch. We need...
97
00:05:04,401 --> 00:05:06,392
one of these on here...
98
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,032
Me... me thongs.
99
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:12,072
These two slices here, yeah?
100
00:05:13,641 --> 00:05:16,713
Now, this is obviously ham.
Do we know what type of ham it is?
101
00:05:16,761 --> 00:05:21,198
- That's bonus carver ham.
- Dave? I forgot to ask you.
102
00:05:22,161 --> 00:05:25,312
How was your mam's 60th birthday do?
103
00:05:25,361 --> 00:05:28,956
Oh, it was great, thanks, Barbara.
Went down a storm, yeah.
104
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:31,435
Everybody hid behind the curtains,
you know,
105
00:05:31,481 --> 00:05:35,918
- and jumped out when she walked in.
- Ooh! How lovely.
106
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:37,758
Aww.
107
00:05:38,681 --> 00:05:42,356
- Who was there, Dave?
- Well, mainly family, you know.
108
00:05:43,641 --> 00:05:45,791
Who was that, then, lad?
109
00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:48,674
Well, me. And Denise.
110
00:05:48,721 --> 00:05:52,430
And me dad.
You know, just immediate family, really.
111
00:05:52,481 --> 00:05:56,190
Aah. Oof. I tell you what, I'll bet you
that took some bloody organising.
112
00:05:56,241 --> 00:05:58,232
Yeah. I left that with Denise.
113
00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:02,111
(Jim) What time did the...
114
00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:05,956
the old festivities finish?
115
00:06:06,001 --> 00:06:09,311
- About ten.
- Flipping heck, ten o'clock!
116
00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:12,316
What food was there, Dave?
117
00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:14,921
- Well, Denise did the buffet.
- (Jim) Ah-ha-ha!
118
00:06:14,961 --> 00:06:17,156
The old crisps and nuts, eh?
119
00:06:17,201 --> 00:06:19,157
- (Denise) Yeah.
- Yeah.
120
00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:20,839
Well, just crisps.
121
00:06:21,801 --> 00:06:23,871
And did your mam enjoy it, Dave?
122
00:06:23,921 --> 00:06:28,073
Well, she did, but she got a bit upset
when me dad went to bed at nine.
123
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,112
Aww. (Tuts)
124
00:06:30,161 --> 00:06:32,675
Is he, er... is he suing anyone this week,
Dave?
125
00:06:32,721 --> 00:06:34,837
- Council.
- Again, eh?
126
00:06:34,881 --> 00:06:37,315
- Yeah.
- Nice one!
127
00:06:37,361 --> 00:06:39,397
Did you have music and that?
128
00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:43,229
Well, just the telly, you know.
Me mum don't like any fuss, Barbara.
129
00:06:43,281 --> 00:06:44,270
- Aww.
- No.
130
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:48,280
But I'll get the photos developed this
week, Barbara, I'll bring them round.
131
00:06:48,321 --> 00:06:50,551
Ooh, lovely. Thanks, Dave.
132
00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:52,990
- Took four rolls.
- Ooh.
133
00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:56,238
Bloody hell, Dave, Hello! Magazine'll
be interested in them.
134
00:06:56,281 --> 00:06:58,749
They do all the bloody big functions.
135
00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:01,952
(Woman) Coach trips are very important
here at Shopping City,
136
00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:03,514
it brings a lot of people here,
137
00:07:03,561 --> 00:07:06,553
and this is the story
of one of the regular coach drivers.
138
00:07:06,601 --> 00:07:09,798
(Second woman) In a little town
called Flint in North Wales,
139
00:07:09,841 --> 00:07:11,354
there's a very special man.
140
00:07:11,401 --> 00:07:14,996
His name is Les
and he can find you anything.
141
00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:17,919
Every week, he drives his coach
to Shopping City,
142
00:07:17,961 --> 00:07:22,318
but if you can't make the trip yourself,
Les will get whatever you want.
143
00:07:22,361 --> 00:07:25,000
Now that's what I call personal service.
144
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:28,750
Has our Antony told you all
where he's going to next week?
145
00:07:28,801 --> 00:07:31,474
- (Both) No.
- Antony?
146
00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:35,150
Tell everybody about
you going to London next week.
147
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:38,079
Oh, yeah... me and Darrers
going to London next week.
148
00:07:38,121 --> 00:07:40,112
- London?
- Yeah.
149
00:07:40,161 --> 00:07:42,550
- London?
- Bloody London?
150
00:07:43,281 --> 00:07:45,397
- Yeah.
- (Jim) What's that about, Lurchie?
151
00:07:45,441 --> 00:07:48,114
Well, we're taking
a tape of the band down, you know,
152
00:07:48,161 --> 00:07:50,117
get a bit of record company interest.
153
00:07:50,161 --> 00:07:53,039
- I thought you'd split up.
- No, we decided to re-form,
154
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:56,915
- cos Darren thought of a really good riff.
- (Jim) That's bloody good news.
155
00:07:56,961 --> 00:08:01,000
It's nice to know you're not living in a
dream world, wasting your bloody time.
156
00:08:01,041 --> 00:08:03,350
(Barbara) Oh, Jim, leave him alone.
157
00:08:03,401 --> 00:08:06,040
Why can't you ever encourage him?
158
00:08:06,841 --> 00:08:10,038
Antony, I think it's great,
what you're doing, love.
159
00:08:10,081 --> 00:08:12,276
So have you got any, er...
160
00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:14,994
any appointments
and that down there, Lurky?
161
00:08:15,041 --> 00:08:19,512
No, we're just gonna sort of go in and
let the tape speak for itself, you know.
162
00:08:19,561 --> 00:08:24,510
So you know, er, where the old record
companies are down in London, do you?
163
00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:27,678
Um... not really. No.
164
00:08:27,721 --> 00:08:29,677
You're not going to wander the streets
165
00:08:29,721 --> 00:08:32,679
hoping to bump into
the head of EM bloody I, are you?
166
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:34,712
Bloody hell! Come on, son.
167
00:08:34,761 --> 00:08:38,595
Aww. Our Antony reminds me of, um...
168
00:08:38,641 --> 00:08:41,235
- (Denise) Who?
- Oh... Him.
169
00:08:41,281 --> 00:08:43,112
What's his name?
170
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,550
- Dick Whittington!
- Oh, yeah.
171
00:08:46,601 --> 00:08:48,637
Oh, aye, he's like Dick Whittington,
172
00:08:48,681 --> 00:08:51,798
but without the bloody Whittington.
173
00:08:52,641 --> 00:08:55,474
Well, you've never even
been to London, Denise.
174
00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:59,036
Yeah, I know I've never, but Dave has.
Mam, will you tell him?
175
00:08:59,081 --> 00:09:02,710
- Dave! Have you been to London?
- Yeah.
176
00:09:02,761 --> 00:09:06,754
- Ooh.
- Well, not exactly London, but...
177
00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:11,959
We stopped at Scratchwood Services
on a removals job, you know.
178
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,878
Oooh!
179
00:09:13,921 --> 00:09:16,435
(Jim) I'll tell you
about bloody London, eh?
180
00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:18,597
Pint of beer, three pound a bloody pint.
181
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:20,472
And it's as flat as a witch's tit.
182
00:09:20,521 --> 00:09:23,240
How would you know, Jim?
You've never been to London.
183
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:27,399
I've never been to Dave's mother's
house, but I know it's boring there.
184
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,830
Oh. Take no notice, Dave.
185
00:09:34,161 --> 00:09:38,518
Hey, Lurk. I'll tell you what could happen
if you... if you play this right,
186
00:09:38,561 --> 00:09:41,155
- and that tape goes down a storm.
- Yeah?
187
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:44,477
And EMI and Warners are, like,
fighting over the songs.
188
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:47,035
- Yeah?
- They're bidding against each other,
189
00:09:47,081 --> 00:09:49,072
throwing all sorts of cash at you
190
00:09:49,121 --> 00:09:51,635
and promising you all sorts
of untold wealth.
191
00:09:51,681 --> 00:09:53,717
- Yeah!
- And they're both desperate
192
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,797
- to produce your next album?
- Yeah!
193
00:09:55,841 --> 00:09:58,355
Oh-ho! You know what happens next,
don't you?
194
00:09:58,401 --> 00:10:00,995
- What?
- The bloody alarm clock goes off!
195
00:10:01,041 --> 00:10:03,953
You wake up in your own bed,
in your own poxy bedroom!
196
00:10:04,001 --> 00:10:05,992
You soft sod!
197
00:10:09,161 --> 00:10:11,721
Oh, Jim.
198
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:14,321
Well, his head's full of bloody magic.
199
00:10:18,881 --> 00:10:20,872
(Cackling)
200
00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:25,833
(Denise) Hey, Antony,
is Emma going with you to London?
201
00:10:25,881 --> 00:10:28,634
- No.
- Why not?
202
00:10:28,681 --> 00:10:31,479
Well, you know.
It's a business trip, innit?
203
00:10:31,521 --> 00:10:35,434
Business trip? Ooh, Antony,
I'll have to do you some sandwiches.
204
00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:39,110
Oh, aye, you can share them out
in the boardroom.
205
00:10:39,841 --> 00:10:41,513
Aah.
206
00:10:42,281 --> 00:10:45,034
Hey, I think Antony's going off Emma.
207
00:10:45,081 --> 00:10:47,276
- Mmm.
- No, I'm not.
208
00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:49,312
- Yes, you are.
- Oh.
209
00:10:49,361 --> 00:10:51,636
You are. He is, irt he?
210
00:10:51,681 --> 00:10:55,560
When you first went out with Emma,
you never used to bother with Darren.
211
00:10:55,601 --> 00:10:58,161
Now you can't move without him.
212
00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:01,432
I think it's more like
Emma's going off him.
213
00:11:01,481 --> 00:11:04,359
- Well, she's not, all right?
- (AIl) Oooh!
214
00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:08,238
(Jim) Oh, she's finally come
to her senses, has she?
215
00:11:08,281 --> 00:11:11,751
She's finally woken up
out of the old coma, has she, Lurky?
216
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,790
Hee-hee.
217
00:11:12,841 --> 00:11:15,560
Don't have to see each other
all the time, Jim.
218
00:11:15,601 --> 00:11:17,717
Yeah, we're getting on fine, thanks.
219
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:21,640
(Jim) Of course you are. Hey,
don't be peeling them that bloody thin.
220
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:25,117
You're wasting half of them spuds
there, soft lad.
221
00:11:25,721 --> 00:11:26,949
(Mutters)
222
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:30,232
(Woman) As well as overseeing
the smooth running of the store,
223
00:11:30,281 --> 00:11:34,433
she's also hosting a special charity
lunch, treasure hunt and fashion show.
224
00:11:34,481 --> 00:11:37,791
(Second woman) We're prepared.
We've done it so many times...
225
00:11:37,841 --> 00:11:39,832
Are you having this, Dave? Hm?
226
00:11:42,481 --> 00:11:45,279
- Hey!
- (Barbara) Ooh!
227
00:11:45,321 --> 00:11:48,996
He's always been gifted
with his hands, Antony.
228
00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:52,032
Good, that.
229
00:11:52,081 --> 00:11:54,993
(AIl) Hey!
230
00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,032
Lurchio.
231
00:11:58,041 --> 00:11:59,838
(Barbara) Ooh.
232
00:11:59,881 --> 00:12:01,473
(Denis gasps) Oh, Dave.
233
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,957
Show me mam what you can do
with your finger, that trick.
234
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:07,310
Oh, that?
235
00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:09,352
Yeah. Huh?
236
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,756
Ooh!
237
00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:14,553
Aww.
238
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:17,559
How long have you been
able to do that, Dave?
239
00:12:17,601 --> 00:12:20,718
Mm... I think it was about
last March or April.
240
00:12:21,881 --> 00:12:23,792
Summat like that.
241
00:12:24,441 --> 00:12:27,513
About last March or April,
wasrt it, Denise?
242
00:12:27,561 --> 00:12:32,157
Reckon it's about... yeah, last
March or April, something like that.
243
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:34,669
Ooh!
244
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:38,031
How did you find out
you could do that, Dave?
245
00:12:38,081 --> 00:12:41,835
Well, I was in the doctor's surgery
and they had no magazines, you know.
246
00:12:41,881 --> 00:12:44,270
So I was just messing about,
going like that.
247
00:12:44,321 --> 00:12:46,312
And then suddenly it just went to that.
248
00:12:46,361 --> 00:12:50,036
Ohhh! It's great, that, Dave.
249
00:12:50,081 --> 00:12:52,231
- Irt it great, Denise?
- Yeah.
250
00:12:52,281 --> 00:12:54,272
Just went to that.
251
00:12:55,361 --> 00:12:59,036
- He's great at anything like that, Dave.
- Aww.
252
00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:05,511
I'd better book
the bloody Palladium for you, hadrt I?
253
00:13:05,561 --> 00:13:10,032
Bloody hell, it's no wonder Bruce
Forsyth keeps on bloody working.
254
00:13:11,681 --> 00:13:14,878
(Woman)... all his regular customers,
very, very confident,
255
00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:17,799
walking up to people, chatting.
256
00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,992
But what is nice, although
he's out in that catering field,
257
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:24,431
he's part of the department store,
so he works well with his peers.
258
00:13:24,481 --> 00:13:27,678
- (Man) They asked me to come here...
- (Coughs)
259
00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:30,918
And, er... it's a very good opportunity.
I learned a lot.
260
00:13:30,961 --> 00:13:33,555
It's a great... a very good team.
261
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:35,637
Are you stopping for your tea, Denise?
262
00:13:36,721 --> 00:13:38,313
- That all right?
- Yeah.
263
00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:40,352
Aah, ta.
264
00:13:40,401 --> 00:13:42,392
It's only egg and chips, though.
265
00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:45,239
Them sausages we had
are out of date now.
266
00:13:45,281 --> 00:13:47,317
(Man)... out the front.
267
00:13:47,361 --> 00:13:50,194
The sea, the sun and...
268
00:13:50,241 --> 00:13:54,439
Manchester is not that bad, you know?
We've got Manchester United.
269
00:13:54,481 --> 00:13:57,120
Er, which...
Well, I prefer the first team, but...
270
00:13:57,161 --> 00:13:59,914
How out of date are they, Barbara?
271
00:14:01,521 --> 00:14:04,194
- What, love?
- Them sausages.
272
00:14:05,201 --> 00:14:07,431
What about them?
273
00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:09,437
How out of date are they?
274
00:14:09,481 --> 00:14:12,234
Oh.
275
00:14:12,281 --> 00:14:15,398
Oh, I don't know, Dave, about, hm...
276
00:14:15,441 --> 00:14:17,432
week or so, I think.
277
00:14:18,481 --> 00:14:21,234
Mm. Well, that doesn't bother me,
that, Barbara.
278
00:14:21,281 --> 00:14:25,559
I don't bother about
all that out of date stuff, that's all right.
279
00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:27,990
(Barbara) Oh, Dave. Ooh.
280
00:14:28,961 --> 00:14:31,350
Irt that a lovely way to live?
281
00:14:31,401 --> 00:14:33,232
(AIl) Yeah.
282
00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:34,760
(Barbara sighs)
283
00:14:35,801 --> 00:14:37,519
- (Jim) Barb?
- Mm?
284
00:14:37,561 --> 00:14:39,597
How did we let the sausages
get out of date?
285
00:14:39,641 --> 00:14:42,075
Have we won the bloody lottery
or something?
286
00:14:42,121 --> 00:14:44,919
- Bloody hell!
- Oh, Jim.
287
00:14:46,521 --> 00:14:48,273
(Woman)... my eyes are everywhere,
288
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,154
but I look as a customer
would look as well.
289
00:14:51,201 --> 00:14:55,080
There is that attention to detail, we've
got to be one step ahead all the time.
290
00:14:55,121 --> 00:14:58,750
(Second woman) With just 20 minutes
to go before 50 guests arrive...
291
00:14:58,801 --> 00:15:02,396
- (Phone)
...things in the kitchen are hotting up.
292
00:15:02,441 --> 00:15:03,954
Now, everyone has arrived
293
00:15:04,001 --> 00:15:07,277
and store manager Cathy has dragged
him out of the kitchen.
294
00:15:07,321 --> 00:15:09,118
The crowd are as hungry...
295
00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:11,994
Hello? Ah. Hiya, Darren.
296
00:15:12,961 --> 00:15:14,952
(As Ali G) Easy, now.
297
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,992
Yeah, yeah. I know.
298
00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:20,635
What, yeah, about half eight, nine,
are you sure?
299
00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:22,478
Aiight.
300
00:15:23,241 --> 00:15:25,675
Yeah. That's it.
301
00:15:25,721 --> 00:15:28,235
West side! (Laughs)
302
00:15:28,281 --> 00:15:31,114
Yeah. West side.
303
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,675
Yeah. I'll see you. All right.
304
00:15:34,841 --> 00:15:37,309
- (Jim) Who was that, Lurky?
- Darren.
305
00:15:37,361 --> 00:15:42,355
Oh! Can you just imagine them two
down in London, Dave, eh?
306
00:15:42,401 --> 00:15:44,517
A couple of little old rent boys.
307
00:15:47,721 --> 00:15:50,394
Dad! Don't say that.
308
00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:52,796
You're always horrible to our Antony.
309
00:15:52,841 --> 00:15:55,196
It's just not fair.
310
00:15:56,961 --> 00:15:58,679
What's up with you?
311
00:15:58,721 --> 00:16:03,317
Well, he is my brother. I'd hate anything
bad to happen to him in London.
312
00:16:03,361 --> 00:16:05,352
(Barbara) Ooh, Denise.
313
00:16:06,441 --> 00:16:11,993
Aww. That's lovely.
What a lovely thing to say, Denise.
314
00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:14,509
Ooh. I'm proud of you.
315
00:16:15,601 --> 00:16:18,035
Mmm. Hey, Ant.
316
00:16:18,081 --> 00:16:19,958
Aah.
317
00:16:22,161 --> 00:16:23,196
Mm.
318
00:16:23,241 --> 00:16:26,551
(Jim) You... you take care of yourself,
Antony.
319
00:16:26,601 --> 00:16:29,911
You look after yourself in London, son.
320
00:16:29,961 --> 00:16:32,236
Your not a bad lad, really.
321
00:16:32,281 --> 00:16:34,795
Hey, and if there is any trouble,
322
00:16:34,841 --> 00:16:37,230
you just call home, all right?
323
00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:40,193
And they'll have
me and Dave to answer to.
324
00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:42,471
- Isn't that right, Dave?
- Yeah.
325
00:16:42,521 --> 00:16:45,638
We'll look after you, Ant.
Don't you worry, lad.
326
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:48,598
- Ta.
- (Woman)... job isn't over.
327
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,838
He's got to chat up
the guests between courses.
328
00:16:51,881 --> 00:16:55,317
(Man) It's become problem.
Some mornings we do in two hours.
329
00:16:55,361 --> 00:17:00,071
If they turn out right, it's good.
But you have to turn them often.
330
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:05,000
How long do you have the chicken?
It's a little delicate.
331
00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:07,236
Oh. Hm.
332
00:17:09,401 --> 00:17:12,518
- Mm.
...very good quality of food.
333
00:17:12,561 --> 00:17:16,349
And they are very happy,
and that's the most important thing.
334
00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:19,199
(Sighs)
335
00:17:20,361 --> 00:17:22,875
(Woman) We're actually
showing you the shorts,
336
00:17:22,921 --> 00:17:25,640
but you can in fact get trousers
and skirts.
337
00:17:25,681 --> 00:17:27,672
(Sighs)
338
00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:31,355
Not Halloween, is it?
339
00:17:38,601 --> 00:17:40,592
(Sighs)
340
00:17:44,281 --> 00:17:46,795
- Hm.
- Anything doing, Mam?
341
00:17:46,841 --> 00:17:48,479
No, nothing.
342
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:51,439
(Norma sighs)
343
00:17:51,481 --> 00:17:55,872
How long have I been upstairs this time,
trying, Barbara?
344
00:17:55,921 --> 00:17:58,799
- Oh, about 40 minutes, Mam.
- Oh.
345
00:17:58,841 --> 00:18:02,629
I used to be as regular as clockwork.
346
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,320
But since Elsie passed on...
347
00:18:05,361 --> 00:18:07,750
- Oh, I'm all bunged up.
- Aww.
348
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:10,759
(Jim) Wish your bloody mouth
was bunged up.
349
00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:14,791
Where's Baby David, Denise?
350
00:18:15,521 --> 00:18:17,830
Oh, I don't know. Oh, yeah.
351
00:18:17,881 --> 00:18:20,679
- Yeah, he's upstairs, irt he?
- Yeah, he's upstairs.
352
00:18:20,721 --> 00:18:24,077
- (Norma) Is he all right up there, Denise?
- Yeah.
353
00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:27,033
- Oh.
- Hey, Nana, guess what?
354
00:18:27,081 --> 00:18:28,992
- What?
- You know our Antony?
355
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,601
- Yeah.
- He's going down London next week.
356
00:18:31,641 --> 00:18:33,677
Is he, love? Are you, Antony?
357
00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:37,758
- Yeah, I am, yeah.
- Oh. Wait, where's my handbag?
358
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:44,952
(Norma) Ooh.
359
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,639
(Man) We're a bit up and down
with the staffing levels...
360
00:19:02,681 --> 00:19:06,071
Sometimes it was round about 40,
361
00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:09,079
and we don't appear to have enough,
above 40.
362
00:19:09,961 --> 00:19:12,919
There you are. That's £3, Antony.
363
00:19:12,961 --> 00:19:16,431
For London. That's from your old nana!
364
00:19:16,481 --> 00:19:18,597
Aww!
365
00:19:26,201 --> 00:19:28,761
- Thanks, Nana.
- It's all right, love.
366
00:19:41,161 --> 00:19:43,231
(Man) Polishing up the chrome.
367
00:19:43,281 --> 00:19:45,272
Very meticulous.
368
00:19:47,441 --> 00:19:49,272
- Aww!
- (Woman)... managerial.
369
00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:52,916
Tonight, he's making
a clean sweep of the escalators.
370
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:58,636
Oh, Elsie's daughter Marian
went to London to see something.
371
00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,512
- Oh.
- What was it, Barbara?
372
00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:03,917
- Was it Cats?
- No, it was a musical.
373
00:20:03,961 --> 00:20:06,350
I know they stopped at an hotel.
374
00:20:06,401 --> 00:20:09,279
Now, I don't know what it was called
or where it was.
375
00:20:09,321 --> 00:20:12,597
But I do know that every night,
376
00:20:12,641 --> 00:20:15,394
they had a mint chocolate
put on their pillow.
377
00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:17,636
- Ooh.
- What do you think to that, Barbara?
378
00:20:17,681 --> 00:20:19,672
Oh, that's lovely, that, Mam.
379
00:20:19,721 --> 00:20:21,712
Denise, Denise.
380
00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:25,834
Elsie's daughter Marian and her husband
went to London
381
00:20:25,881 --> 00:20:27,792
and they stopped in an hotel.
382
00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:32,471
And every night, they had a mint
chocolate put on their pillow.
383
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:36,434
(Laughs) Before they went to bed!
Now, what do you think of that?
384
00:20:36,481 --> 00:20:39,075
Oh, I don't know, Nana.
385
00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:43,676
Why do they do that, Barbara?
386
00:20:43,721 --> 00:20:46,076
I don't know, Mam,
I've never been to London.
387
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:48,760
Ooh. Why do they do that, Denise?
388
00:20:48,801 --> 00:20:50,792
I don't know, Nana.
389
00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:56,040
Cheryl would like that, wouldn't she? A
mint chocolate on her pillow every night.
390
00:20:56,961 --> 00:21:00,749
She'd like a bloody chocolate
bloody pillow, would Cheryl.
391
00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:08,432
Hee-hee.
392
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:17,277
He's the coach driver who claimed to be
able to find anything at Shopping City.
393
00:21:17,321 --> 00:21:21,314
Well, it's time to catch up with him
as he attempts to find six items
394
00:21:21,361 --> 00:21:23,670
for customers back in North Wales.
395
00:21:23,721 --> 00:21:27,430
I'll have a go in The Pier first,
see if I can get me plate and me glass.
396
00:21:27,481 --> 00:21:31,360
I've been there before. Not for a request,
just to have a look around.
397
00:21:31,401 --> 00:21:33,392
They seem very helpful.
398
00:21:34,081 --> 00:21:36,641
I was on a mission then, though.
399
00:21:36,681 --> 00:21:38,637
They're near enough, but not quite.
400
00:21:38,681 --> 00:21:42,720
So what I may do is, if... I'll bear it
in mind. I won't get nothing today.
401
00:21:43,321 --> 00:21:45,357
Here, look, that's not too bad.
402
00:21:45,401 --> 00:21:49,838
What I'm thinking is, at that price,
I might be able to get six.
403
00:21:49,881 --> 00:21:51,872
And swap the whole set.
404
00:21:52,481 --> 00:21:56,599
Right. Seen the Wedgwood counter
there. They can't help me with the glass.
405
00:21:56,641 --> 00:21:58,313
Royal Doulton can't, and...
406
00:21:58,361 --> 00:22:00,158
Er... Debenams' own.
407
00:22:00,201 --> 00:22:02,954
But they said try Selfridges,
so that's my next stop.
408
00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:06,277
So I got one maybe
and another one on the hit list.
409
00:22:06,321 --> 00:22:08,960
- (Narrator) No luck in there, then, Les.
- Right.
410
00:22:09,001 --> 00:22:12,471
- I've been told again, without the name...
- (Jim growling)
411
00:22:12,521 --> 00:22:15,240
I can't... I'll have to get something.
412
00:22:15,281 --> 00:22:19,672
So I'm heading down that way.
Hopefully we'll pass the HMVstore.
413
00:22:19,721 --> 00:22:22,758
This tape I'm after,
Johnny Prestors Running Bird,
414
00:22:22,801 --> 00:22:24,792
the DJ that's asked is a friend.
415
00:22:24,841 --> 00:22:27,992
The DJs must get together.
And he just said to...
416
00:22:28,041 --> 00:22:32,273
"I've tried to get this Johnny Preston,
Running Bird, on CD." He couldn't get it.
417
00:22:32,321 --> 00:22:35,996
He said, "You won't get that."
He said, "I know a man who can."
418
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:38,839
Well, I'm not
on a very good day at the moment.
419
00:22:38,881 --> 00:22:41,190
Though it's... it's still on order.
420
00:22:41,241 --> 00:22:43,960
He said it was going to be a week...
a week to ten days.
421
00:22:44,001 --> 00:22:47,152
It's on order, it's been ordered,
it still hasn't come in yet.
422
00:22:47,201 --> 00:22:49,840
So it'll be the next hit when I come here.
423
00:22:50,881 --> 00:22:53,873
(Narrator) One last try for the glass,
then, Les.
424
00:22:53,921 --> 00:22:57,197
I'm trying to find a glass.
Have you got anything like that?
425
00:22:57,241 --> 00:22:59,311
- Any luck?
- No.
426
00:23:01,561 --> 00:23:04,121
- I'm getting disheartened now.
- Aww.
427
00:23:04,161 --> 00:23:07,278
That's... all me shops, now. Er...
428
00:23:08,121 --> 00:23:11,352
I'll go and see if me watch
has been done. I'll get me watch back.
429
00:23:11,401 --> 00:23:14,154
At least I'll have managed
to get something today.
430
00:23:14,201 --> 00:23:18,194
(Narrator) Oh, well.
Four hours later and still no success.
431
00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:22,792
Will Les ever manage to reduce his hit...
or should that be missed list?
432
00:23:22,841 --> 00:23:25,719
- (Dave chuckling)
- (Les) Right. OK, thank you.
433
00:23:25,761 --> 00:23:27,274
That's one out of three.
434
00:23:27,321 --> 00:23:30,518
I've got one other to go.
I forgot me trousers for me wife.
435
00:23:30,561 --> 00:23:33,234
Just egg and chips tonight, Mam.
Is that all right?
436
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:37,399
Ooh, lovely.
Are Denise and Dave stopping?
437
00:23:37,441 --> 00:23:39,432
- Yeah.
- Mm.
438
00:23:40,361 --> 00:23:42,750
We'll just have it on our knees, shall we?
439
00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:46,635
- Save the bother of laying the table.
- (AIl) Yeah.
440
00:23:46,681 --> 00:23:49,798
(Narrator) He's got his wife's trousers,
at least.
441
00:23:49,841 --> 00:23:53,117
(Les) I'm happy now, I've got half.
I've got three out of six.
442
00:23:53,161 --> 00:23:56,233
I've got one, two, and the watch is three.
The mission was six.
443
00:23:56,281 --> 00:24:00,069
I've only missed out on three. So not
doing too bad. I'm pleased with that.
444
00:24:01,321 --> 00:24:03,881
I'm going to see Dr Goddard
tomorrow, Barbara.
445
00:24:03,921 --> 00:24:05,513
- Oh, are you, Mam?
- Mm.
446
00:24:05,561 --> 00:24:08,121
He's been smashing with me,
has Dr Goddard.
447
00:24:08,161 --> 00:24:09,355
Aww.
448
00:24:09,401 --> 00:24:11,869
(Jim) What's his views on euthanasia,
Norma?
449
00:24:11,921 --> 00:24:16,517
- (Wheezing) Euthanasia!
- He's lovely. He's married to a midwife.
450
00:24:16,561 --> 00:24:20,031
What do you think to that, Barbara?
Denise, what do you think to that?
451
00:24:20,081 --> 00:24:25,394
Dr Goddard, married to a nurse.
Imagine living next door to them.
452
00:24:25,441 --> 00:24:29,673
Put your mind at rest, wouldn't it?
Him a doctor and her a nurse!
453
00:24:32,281 --> 00:24:35,876
Not like me, I mean, if anything
happened to me at home,
454
00:24:35,921 --> 00:24:38,754
there'd be nobody there
now Elsie's gone.
455
00:24:40,361 --> 00:24:43,000
Elsie was housebound, Mam.
456
00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:45,999
I know, but she did have a first-aid tin.
457
00:24:47,081 --> 00:24:49,072
Which actually, I've got now.
458
00:24:50,281 --> 00:24:51,316
Hmph.
459
00:24:51,361 --> 00:24:55,240
(Woman) Susan and the staff are
entering into the spirit of the occasion.
460
00:24:55,281 --> 00:24:58,398
(Second woman) All the staff
are going to be dressed up...
461
00:24:58,441 --> 00:25:00,716
(Jim) Don't cut the chips
that bloody thin!
462
00:25:00,761 --> 00:25:02,956
You're not working for McDonald's! Yet.
463
00:25:09,401 --> 00:25:13,189
Ooh, Barbara, I think I might go upstairs
and have another try.
464
00:25:13,241 --> 00:25:15,835
I can feel some movement.
465
00:25:15,881 --> 00:25:18,031
- What do you think, Barbara?
- Yeah.
466
00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:20,390
- Bloody hellfire.
- What's up with you?
467
00:25:20,441 --> 00:25:23,399
I was gonna go. I've been baking one
since she was up there.
468
00:25:23,441 --> 00:25:26,399
- I can't bake it much bloody longer.
- (Denise) Dad!
469
00:25:26,441 --> 00:25:30,354
- (Barbara) Jim!
- I've been looking forward to this shite.
470
00:25:30,401 --> 00:25:33,711
Dad, you could have kept that
to yourself, thank you very much.
471
00:25:33,761 --> 00:25:36,400
Not for much longer, I bloody couldn't.
472
00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:41,676
Barbara, let him
go on the toilet if he wants to.
473
00:25:41,721 --> 00:25:44,918
No, Mam, you go on the toilet.
Jim, you can wait.
474
00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:46,713
Barbara, let her go on the toilet.
475
00:25:46,761 --> 00:25:48,831
Barbara, let him go on the toilet.
476
00:25:48,881 --> 00:25:51,953
- Barbara, let her go on the toilet.
- Barbara, let him go on the toilet.
477
00:25:52,001 --> 00:25:55,357
- Let her go on the toilet.
- (Barbara) Jim! All this toilet talk.
478
00:25:55,401 --> 00:25:57,471
We're about to start eating our tea.
479
00:25:57,521 --> 00:26:01,400
Probably a bloody false alarm with her
anyway, like it was last time.
480
00:26:01,441 --> 00:26:04,160
I was gonna do you
that furniture while I was up there.
481
00:26:04,201 --> 00:26:07,511
- What do you mean?
- Do you a couple of stools.
482
00:26:14,001 --> 00:26:16,515
(Woman)... storing card and a certificate.
483
00:26:16,561 --> 00:26:21,032
The storing card puts the outfit
the doll's wearing in context,
484
00:26:21,081 --> 00:26:25,677
it gives the approximate period at which
that costume would have been worn.
485
00:26:25,721 --> 00:26:27,313
- (Norma) Ooh, Barbara?
- Mm?
486
00:26:27,361 --> 00:26:31,274
Did you see that programme last night
with that woman in that I like?
487
00:26:31,321 --> 00:26:34,916
- What womars that, Mam?
- Oh, you know. Erm...
488
00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:37,555
Ah, what's she called? Erm...
489
00:26:37,601 --> 00:26:41,150
She's posh and she talks like this.
490
00:26:41,201 --> 00:26:44,796
(Posh accent) "Hello, Terry Wogan.
How are you?"
491
00:26:44,841 --> 00:26:46,832
Who is it, Denise?
492
00:26:46,881 --> 00:26:50,032
- No, I don't know who you mean, Nana.
- Oh.
493
00:26:50,801 --> 00:26:54,635
You know, she's, erm...
she's always got a cigarette in one hand
494
00:26:54,681 --> 00:26:57,559
and, er... a glass of booze in the other.
495
00:26:57,601 --> 00:26:59,592
(Jim) That's our Denise!
496
00:27:00,721 --> 00:27:03,076
- Dad!
- No, no, it's not.
497
00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:05,112
No.
498
00:27:05,161 --> 00:27:08,437
(Sighs) What's she called? Erm...
499
00:27:08,481 --> 00:27:13,077
(Sighs) She made a bra
out of a pair of slippers.
500
00:27:13,121 --> 00:27:16,033
That's bloody Joanne Lumley,
you bloody old clown, you.
501
00:27:16,081 --> 00:27:18,754
She made a pair of slippers out of a bra
on that island.
502
00:27:18,801 --> 00:27:21,474
She didn't make a bra
out of her bloody slippers!
503
00:27:21,521 --> 00:27:24,240
(Norma, cackling) I got it wrong,
didn't I, Barbara?
504
00:27:24,281 --> 00:27:28,160
- Yeah!
- Bra into slippers, slippers into...
505
00:27:31,321 --> 00:27:33,152
(Breaks wind)
506
00:27:33,201 --> 00:27:36,796
(Man) So... a movie star,
which is very appealing,
507
00:27:36,841 --> 00:27:39,913
and I was able to meet...
Jears a Frankenstein version
508
00:27:39,961 --> 00:27:43,237
- of all my favourite movie stars.
- Er, Barbara,
509
00:27:43,281 --> 00:27:46,318
I'll just go up and have another... try.
510
00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:54,429
I put them all together, and I wanted
a persona that would imply
511
00:27:54,481 --> 00:27:56,676
a lot of different actresses.
512
00:27:56,721 --> 00:28:01,511
So depending on her hair colour and
costume, people would sort of see...
513
00:28:01,561 --> 00:28:03,552
(Roars of laughter)
514
00:28:08,321 --> 00:28:09,993
Good old Norma!
515
00:28:10,041 --> 00:28:12,635
♪ So what do you say?
516
00:28:12,681 --> 00:28:17,072
♪ You can't give me the dreams
that are mine anyway
517
00:28:17,121 --> 00:28:21,273
♪ You're half the world away
518
00:28:21,881 --> 00:28:25,396
♪ Half the world away
519
00:28:26,041 --> 00:28:29,351
♪ Half the world away
520
00:28:29,401 --> 00:28:34,236
♪ I've been lost, I've been found
but I don't feel down
521
00:28:35,401 --> 00:28:39,189
♪ No, I don't feel down
522
00:28:39,841 --> 00:28:42,639
♪ No, I don't feel down
523
00:28:43,841 --> 00:28:46,674
♪ No, I don't feel down ♪
41920
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