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1
00:00:05,557 --> 00:00:08,905
This is Captain Edward Penisi
to dispatch. You're a go.
2
00:00:08,939 --> 00:00:11,252
Man: The Tacoma Fire Department welcomes Ms. Parker's
3
00:00:11,287 --> 00:00:13,806
fifth grade class from
Patterson Elementary School
4
00:00:13,841 --> 00:00:15,498
and Councilwoman Linda Price.
5
00:00:15,532 --> 00:00:18,052
Yeah, that's you guys.
6
00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:19,536
All right, kids,
come on over here.
7
00:00:19,571 --> 00:00:22,332
All right, first up --
the fire pole.
8
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:25,749
We slide down this when we're
ready to race off to a fire.
9
00:00:27,337 --> 00:00:28,131
[ Cheers and applause ]
10
00:00:28,166 --> 00:00:29,374
How you doing?
11
00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,134
Okay, it's important
for firefighters to always --
12
00:00:31,169 --> 00:00:33,964
Hey, let me slide down
that pole, fire guy!
13
00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:35,897
Hunter --
the kid from the well.
14
00:00:35,932 --> 00:00:37,071
How do I get up that pole?!
15
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,314
-You don't.
-Okay, then.
16
00:00:38,348 --> 00:00:39,867
Let's mess
with the Dalmatian.
17
00:00:39,901 --> 00:00:41,731
We actually don't have one.
The Chief doesn't like dogs.
18
00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:43,215
That guy's a boner!
19
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,907
He still owes me
25 bucks and a vape!
20
00:00:45,942 --> 00:00:48,945
Remember, Captain,
little Hunter is a hero.
21
00:00:48,979 --> 00:00:50,153
You're doing great.
22
00:00:50,188 --> 00:00:51,534
All right, come on, everybody.
Right this way.
23
00:00:51,568 --> 00:00:54,157
-They're all yours.
-All right, Cap, thank you.
24
00:00:54,192 --> 00:00:56,849
Hey, guys.
This is the engine truck.
25
00:00:56,884 --> 00:00:59,818
We use this on all of our
house calls, people get lock--
26
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:01,440
Hey, everybody,
this is the guy
27
00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:03,718
I kicked in the nuts in
Episode 258: The Sky Below.
28
00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:04,788
[ Laughter ]
29
00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:06,135
Well, someone's not
gonna be keeping
30
00:01:06,169 --> 00:01:08,137
their little helmet
after the tour.
31
00:01:08,171 --> 00:01:11,347
And this is my ding dong!
32
00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:14,798
Hey, buddy. You know,
that hose is very powerful.
33
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:17,560
It shoots water at 400 PSI.
34
00:01:17,594 --> 00:01:19,458
Now, do you know
what PSI stands for?
35
00:01:19,493 --> 00:01:23,152
It stands for
"Corrupt dem nuts, shorty."
36
00:01:23,186 --> 00:01:24,394
Come on, man.
37
00:01:24,429 --> 00:01:25,533
Oh, uh, one more photo
by the truck.
38
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:26,983
-Come on, everyone.
-Sure, a picture.
39
00:01:27,017 --> 00:01:29,986
Oh, not --
40
00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:32,471
All right, over here.
Welcome.
41
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:34,680
-My name is Granny Smith...
-Hey.
42
00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:36,510
...and I am the station medic,
43
00:01:36,544 --> 00:01:39,685
and I'm also a firefighter,
so I help fight fires.
44
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,411
[ Clunk, whirring ]
45
00:01:41,446 --> 00:01:42,688
Who charged that hose?
46
00:01:42,723 --> 00:01:44,104
Andy, did you close the gate
on that deck cannon?
47
00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:47,935
Going viral, bitches!
48
00:01:47,969 --> 00:01:48,936
[ All screaming ]
49
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:50,420
Huh?! You want some?!
50
00:01:50,455 --> 00:01:51,835
How about you?
51
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:52,698
How about you?!
52
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:53,768
[ Screaming continues ]
53
00:01:53,803 --> 00:01:54,666
Who wants some?!
54
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:55,356
Get down!
Get down!
55
00:01:55,391 --> 00:01:56,840
-Oh, yeah!
-No!
56
00:01:56,875 --> 00:01:58,221
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
57
00:01:58,256 --> 00:01:59,878
Oh! Whoa!
58
00:01:59,912 --> 00:02:00,982
Come here,
you little brat.
59
00:02:01,017 --> 00:02:01,638
[ Grunts ]
60
00:02:01,673 --> 00:02:03,502
I'm pissed!
61
00:02:03,537 --> 00:02:05,953
All kids,
cover your ears!
62
00:02:05,987 --> 00:02:09,439
You mother [bleep]
63
00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:11,303
Your balls are mine!
64
00:02:11,338 --> 00:02:15,204
And I'm gonna run them over
with my scooter!
65
00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:17,413
I guess I did forget
to close the gate.
66
00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,449
Yeah.
67
00:02:19,484 --> 00:02:23,936
♪♪
68
00:02:23,971 --> 00:02:28,389
♪♪
69
00:02:28,424 --> 00:02:31,151
♪ Well, I'm hot blooded
70
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,429
♪ Check it and see
71
00:02:33,463 --> 00:02:37,398
♪ I got a fever of 103
72
00:02:37,433 --> 00:02:38,434
♪ I'm hot blooded
73
00:02:38,468 --> 00:02:39,745
Oh! Whoa!
74
00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:40,677
Out the garage!
75
00:02:40,712 --> 00:02:41,609
[ Laughter ]
76
00:02:41,644 --> 00:02:42,610
Subscribe! Subscribe!
77
00:02:42,645 --> 00:02:43,611
Subscribe! Subscribe!
78
00:02:43,646 --> 00:02:45,165
-Subscribe!
-Oh, my God, man.
79
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,269
I'm subscribing, dude.
80
00:02:46,304 --> 00:02:47,615
Don't subscribe to him.
81
00:02:47,650 --> 00:02:48,823
Hey, keep that shame
helmet on, okay?
82
00:02:48,858 --> 00:02:50,687
-You wear it all week.
-Yeah.
83
00:02:50,722 --> 00:02:52,310
Yeah, you messed up and left
the gate open, okay?
84
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,070
-Punishment for you.
-Boo, boo!
85
00:02:54,104 --> 00:02:56,072
-Shame! Shame!
-I got it!
86
00:02:56,106 --> 00:02:57,487
-Morning.
-Hey, Chief.
87
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:58,971
-Hey, good morning.
-Good morning.
88
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,835
Myawani, put that shame
helmet back on.
89
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:01,974
All week long.
90
00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:03,873
Okay, so it should come
as no surprise
91
00:03:03,907 --> 00:03:05,323
that Linda Price wants blood.
92
00:03:05,357 --> 00:03:07,911
Oh, well, I believe
the TFD blood drive
93
00:03:07,946 --> 00:03:09,672
falls on May 5th this year,
94
00:03:09,706 --> 00:03:12,537
so I'm happy to send
a flier to her office.
95
00:03:12,571 --> 00:03:14,884
Okay, that's not, uh...
96
00:03:14,918 --> 00:03:17,127
The Commissioner spent the
morning trying to talk her down.
97
00:03:17,162 --> 00:03:18,059
So we're off the hook.
98
00:03:18,094 --> 00:03:19,233
No, to appease her,
99
00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:20,683
the station has been ordered
to undergo
100
00:03:20,717 --> 00:03:22,754
a mandatory training
recertification.
101
00:03:22,788 --> 00:03:24,169
-What?
-Aww, boo!
102
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:24,859
-The station?
-I just got --
103
00:03:24,894 --> 00:03:26,067
I just got certified.
104
00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:28,069
-That includes captains.
-Double boo, that's it.
105
00:03:28,104 --> 00:03:29,243
Okay, sorry.
106
00:03:29,278 --> 00:03:31,107
The cert trainer will be here
this morning.
107
00:03:31,141 --> 00:03:32,419
Enjoy your training day.
108
00:03:32,453 --> 00:03:34,110
Oh, Eddie.
You'll be happy to hear
109
00:03:34,144 --> 00:03:36,906
the trainer is none other
than Wolf Boykins.
110
00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:38,528
Boykins?
You got to be kidding me.
111
00:03:38,563 --> 00:03:39,736
Who is Wolf Boykins?
112
00:03:39,771 --> 00:03:41,082
The worst firefighter ever.
113
00:03:41,117 --> 00:03:42,808
He went through Academy
with me and Terry.
114
00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:45,052
He's one of those guys who
teaches 'cause he can't do.
115
00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:46,571
Oh, like a captain.
116
00:03:46,605 --> 00:03:48,400
[ Laughter ]
117
00:03:48,435 --> 00:03:50,920
-Ah! Hey, man, come on.
-I love this thing.
118
00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:52,335
You think the Captain
busts balls.
119
00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:53,509
He was relentless on Wolf.
120
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,200
-He deserved it.
-They always do, right, Eddie?
121
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,512
Yes, they do.
122
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,272
You just remember --
he controls your certification,
123
00:03:58,307 --> 00:04:00,757
so mind your manners,
and be nice.
124
00:04:00,792 --> 00:04:03,070
Maybe.Wait, Chief, don't you have
to get certified?
125
00:04:03,104 --> 00:04:04,899
No.
Chiefs don't get certified.
126
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:06,107
I'm a chief!
127
00:04:06,142 --> 00:04:07,454
But Linda Price did give me
128
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:08,903
my own pain-in-the-ass
assignment.
129
00:04:08,938 --> 00:04:11,354
I have to file a sensitivity
compliance report tomorrow.
130
00:04:11,389 --> 00:04:13,287
We should start by getting
softer toilet paper
131
00:04:13,322 --> 00:04:14,840
for the bathrooms,
if I may.
132
00:04:14,875 --> 00:04:17,084
Yes, yes, I vote yes.
133
00:04:17,118 --> 00:04:19,224
That's not the sensitivity
I was talking about.
134
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,639
Now that we have
a female firefighter,
135
00:04:20,674 --> 00:04:22,572
I have to go down the checklist
to make sure we comply.
136
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:24,229
I told you,
no special treatment.
137
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,335
Regardless, the place has
to be suitable for women.
138
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:27,646
We need adequate facilities.
139
00:04:27,681 --> 00:04:29,130
No longer are we allowed to use
140
00:04:29,165 --> 00:04:31,340
improper gender-specific
language.
141
00:04:31,374 --> 00:04:32,272
Like what?
142
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,514
I made a list --
143
00:04:33,549 --> 00:04:35,102
"Things we are
no longer allowed to say."
144
00:04:35,136 --> 00:04:37,587
From now on, we are
firefighters, not firemen.
145
00:04:37,622 --> 00:04:38,554
-Oh, yeah.
-Okay, that's fair.
146
00:04:38,588 --> 00:04:39,900
Fine.
147
00:04:39,934 --> 00:04:41,833
We can no longer call each other
pussies or douche bags.
148
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:44,939
I got called both those names,
so I'm happy.
149
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:47,045
The hose nozzle will no longer
be called the knob.
150
00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:48,322
Aw, man.
151
00:04:48,357 --> 00:04:50,324
-Come on.
-What are we gonna call it?
152
00:04:50,359 --> 00:04:52,153
I mean, it's the knob.
153
00:04:52,188 --> 00:04:54,363
When we charge the line,
we no longer shout,
154
00:04:54,397 --> 00:04:56,054
"Make the hose round and hard."
155
00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:57,849
-Aww, come on!
-That's the best one!
156
00:04:57,883 --> 00:05:00,230
And the person sliding down
the pole will no longer be
157
00:05:00,265 --> 00:05:01,853
"polishing the pole."
158
00:05:01,887 --> 00:05:03,751
Can we even say "pole"?
[ Laughs ]
159
00:05:03,786 --> 00:05:05,546
Actually, in the Academy,
160
00:05:05,581 --> 00:05:06,892
all the men were required
to call it
161
00:05:06,927 --> 00:05:09,895
the floor-to-floor
conveyance device.
162
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:11,414
Oh.
163
00:05:11,449 --> 00:05:12,726
Seriously?Seriously.
164
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,729
So, no, you can't say "pole,"
but I still can.
165
00:05:15,763 --> 00:05:17,627
-Oh.
-But, Chief, we can still use
166
00:05:17,662 --> 00:05:19,491
that phrase periodically,
though, right?
167
00:05:19,526 --> 00:05:22,114
Andy, you cannot
say "periodically."
168
00:05:22,149 --> 00:05:23,357
-Come on.
-Wha...
169
00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:24,703
Dude, times have changed.
170
00:05:24,738 --> 00:05:27,396
Up in Olympia, they have
this Dalmatian named Spot.
171
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:29,363
Had to change the name 'cause
that's super inappropriate
172
00:05:29,398 --> 00:05:30,778
to menstruating women.Mm.
173
00:05:30,813 --> 00:05:32,884
They renamed him,
but he wouldn't respond
174
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:34,506
to anything else...
175
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:35,887
so they had to
put him down.
176
00:05:35,921 --> 00:05:36,853
-What?
-Krk!
177
00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:40,063
[ Sighs ]
178
00:05:40,098 --> 00:05:43,135
They put the dog to sleep
because...
179
00:05:43,170 --> 00:05:45,655
because of what,
women's lib or something?
180
00:05:45,690 --> 00:05:47,174
But you got to get it,
too, right?
181
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:49,452
Yeah, remind me
never to go to Olympia.
182
00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:50,695
All right, enough of this.
183
00:05:50,729 --> 00:05:52,179
I'm gonna post this list
out in the break room.
184
00:05:52,213 --> 00:05:53,456
Add to it if you want.
185
00:05:53,491 --> 00:05:55,665
In the meantime, have a great
training day, everybody.
186
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,427
♪♪
187
00:05:58,461 --> 00:05:59,807
Mm-hmm.
I like it.
188
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:00,912
The dog --
that's a nice touch.
189
00:06:00,946 --> 00:06:02,154
You're good, noob.
You're good.
190
00:06:02,189 --> 00:06:05,226
What can I say?
It's the Penisi in me.
191
00:06:05,261 --> 00:06:07,332
All right,
easy on these guys.
192
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,334
This cert training's
gonna be busted.
193
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,818
What a pain in the ass.
194
00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,338
Humping the gear, taking
the test, racing the clock --
195
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,133
I mean,
we're seasoned veterans.
196
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,686
-Yes, we are.
-Let's make it interesting.
197
00:06:16,721 --> 00:06:18,205
How about this?
198
00:06:18,239 --> 00:06:19,655
Person who tests
the highest
199
00:06:19,689 --> 00:06:21,311
wins the Fart Jar.
200
00:06:21,346 --> 00:06:23,624
-Mmm.
-Ooh!
201
00:06:23,659 --> 00:06:25,523
Right?
Want to try it?
202
00:06:25,557 --> 00:06:26,938
Fart Jar, everyone, okay?
203
00:06:26,972 --> 00:06:28,388
[ Laughs ][ Farts ]
204
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:31,425
[ Chuckles ]
My deposit for the week.
205
00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:32,461
-Here we are.
-Yeah, see, Granny,
206
00:06:32,495 --> 00:06:33,358
that's why I always
carry singles.
207
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,532
[ Clicks tongue ]
208
00:06:34,566 --> 00:06:37,017
No, you carry 'em 'cause
you hang out in strip clubs.
209
00:06:37,051 --> 00:06:40,261
-I guess.
-Wow, that is a lot of farts.
210
00:06:40,296 --> 00:06:41,573
Oh, you think
this is a lot?
211
00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:43,195
This is just the tip.
Hold on.
212
00:06:43,230 --> 00:06:45,163
Look at this.
Bam.
213
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:46,958
-Yeah. Hello.
-Boom.
214
00:06:46,992 --> 00:06:48,269
-Boop!
-Oh, yeah.
215
00:06:48,304 --> 00:06:50,064
-Bong.
-Wait.
216
00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:51,790
-November?
-Wow.
217
00:06:51,825 --> 00:06:53,585
You guys have had a big year.
218
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:55,587
It's a lot.
[ Laughs ]
219
00:06:55,622 --> 00:06:58,038
Hey, just so you guys know,
I'm still in top training form
220
00:06:58,072 --> 00:07:01,075
from the Academy,
so you guys are toast.
221
00:07:01,110 --> 00:07:04,078
Are women even eligible?
I mean, do you even fart?
222
00:07:04,113 --> 00:07:06,978
[ Laughter ]
223
00:07:07,012 --> 00:07:10,464
Myawani: I think they're like
Barbies. They don't have butts.
224
00:07:10,499 --> 00:07:11,707
How is that offensive?
225
00:07:11,741 --> 00:07:13,778
If you don't know
it's inappropriate,
226
00:07:13,812 --> 00:07:15,504
it's even more offensive.
227
00:07:15,538 --> 00:07:16,677
Oh, is that so?
228
00:07:16,712 --> 00:07:18,610
[ Alarm blaring ]
229
00:07:18,645 --> 00:07:22,580
♪♪
230
00:07:22,614 --> 00:07:25,030
[ Whistle blowing ]
231
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:28,137
[ Blowing continues ]Stop! Stop, stop,
232
00:07:28,171 --> 00:07:30,311
stop, stop, stop.
233
00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:31,485
[ Blowing stops ]
234
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,522
Just with my naked eye,
235
00:07:33,556 --> 00:07:35,972
I can spot seven things
you guys did wrong
236
00:07:36,007 --> 00:07:37,698
before you even rolled
out of the garage,
237
00:07:37,733 --> 00:07:39,873
so it's gonna be
a long day.
238
00:07:39,907 --> 00:07:41,840
Everybody,
this is Wolf Boykins.
239
00:07:41,875 --> 00:07:44,394
Wolf Boykins,
your certification trainer.
240
00:07:44,429 --> 00:07:46,949
Captain, long time
no "Peni-see." [Penisi]
241
00:07:46,983 --> 00:07:47,708
[ Chuckles ]
242
00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:48,916
[ Chuckles ]
Good one.
243
00:07:48,951 --> 00:07:52,230
This -- I love it --
not regulation.
244
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:53,714
Lose it.
245
00:07:53,749 --> 00:07:54,750
-Hey!
-Hey!
246
00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:57,062
Wolf Boykins,
how the hell are ya?
247
00:07:57,097 --> 00:07:58,650
Eh, okay.
248
00:07:58,685 --> 00:07:59,582
Good to see you, Chief.
249
00:07:59,617 --> 00:08:00,307
Good to see you.
250
00:08:00,341 --> 00:08:01,377
We're excited to have you.
251
00:08:01,411 --> 00:08:02,585
As a matter of fact,
the Captain
252
00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:03,862
was just telling me
how excited he is.
253
00:08:03,897 --> 00:08:05,485
Tell him.
I -- I said that.
254
00:08:05,519 --> 00:08:07,141
I said I'm really excited
to see Wolf today.
255
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:08,798
Well, that's great,
'cause the word on the street
256
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:10,662
is you guys
are a bunch of hosers...
257
00:08:10,697 --> 00:08:14,079
of little kids
and one unlucky councilwoman.
258
00:08:14,114 --> 00:08:17,289
So, I'm here because
you..guys..are...slop-py.
259
00:08:17,324 --> 00:08:20,085
Pbbt!
But I'm the napkin, okay?
260
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,742
So welcome to the wolves den.
261
00:08:21,777 --> 00:08:24,400
Awrooooo!
262
00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:25,677
Hey, why don't we all do it
just to kick off
263
00:08:25,712 --> 00:08:27,023
the session right, huh?
264
00:08:27,058 --> 00:08:28,749
On three --
One, two, three...
265
00:08:28,784 --> 00:08:30,440
Awroo!
266
00:08:30,475 --> 00:08:31,856
-Awroo.
-Awoo.
267
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:32,891
I promise you,
it's not gonna be weird
268
00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:34,410
if everybody does it, okay?
269
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:35,653
Awrooo!
270
00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:37,275
-Wooooo.
-Huh?
271
00:08:40,002 --> 00:08:41,244
♪♪
272
00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:44,178
[ Humming ]
273
00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:47,457
Bathroom sensitivity
compliance.
274
00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:48,735
Okay.
275
00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:51,945
Oh, look at this crap.
276
00:08:51,979 --> 00:08:53,463
Grandcougar?
That's disgusting.
277
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:54,464
What's wrong
with these guys?
278
00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:56,432
Naked Ass Girls?
279
00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:57,744
Oh, man.
280
00:08:57,778 --> 00:09:00,470
Oh, shut up.
281
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,128
"Hot Grill on Grill
Action"...
282
00:09:03,163 --> 00:09:05,061
Summer recipes, I love it.
283
00:09:05,096 --> 00:09:06,960
-Uh-huh.
-[ Clears throat ]
284
00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:08,099
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
285
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,894
I always pegged you
for a European tits guy.
286
00:09:09,928 --> 00:09:11,378
I was reading an article.
287
00:09:11,412 --> 00:09:12,828
Yeah, right on.
288
00:09:12,862 --> 00:09:14,036
What are you doing in here?
289
00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:16,176
[ Chuckles ]
Going to the bathroom.
290
00:09:16,210 --> 00:09:17,418
This is the men's room.
291
00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:19,697
Well, when we get a women's
room, let me know.
292
00:09:19,731 --> 00:09:21,146
Okay, you know what?
New rule.
293
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,355
From now on, you use
the Chief's restroom
294
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:25,150
until we make
other arrangements.
295
00:09:25,185 --> 00:09:27,428
Dad, I said
no special treatment.
296
00:09:27,463 --> 00:09:29,707
I'm not gonna share
a bathroom with you.
297
00:09:29,741 --> 00:09:31,536
The guys would never let me
hear the end of that.
298
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,780
Hey, I'm the Chief, and that's
the way it's gonna be.
299
00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:35,747
Fine, you want to do
everything up to compliance?
300
00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:38,370
Then you have to install
a tampon dispenser in there.
301
00:09:38,405 --> 00:09:39,751
What, like one of those
coin-operated things?
302
00:09:39,786 --> 00:09:41,753
And will you put those
menstrual cups in?
303
00:09:41,788 --> 00:09:43,237
Those are great.I don't even know
what that is.
304
00:09:43,272 --> 00:09:44,722
Oh, and we also need
a bidet.
305
00:09:44,756 --> 00:09:45,792
Like the water jet thingy?
306
00:09:45,826 --> 00:09:46,724
They're regulation now.
307
00:09:46,758 --> 00:09:47,863
They're in all women's rooms.
308
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:48,864
Where do you get a bidet?
309
00:09:48,898 --> 00:09:50,555
Home Depot.
310
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,937
And don't worry.
I'll bring my own porn.
311
00:09:52,971 --> 00:09:54,628
Not in my bathroom!
312
00:09:54,663 --> 00:09:57,079
-[ Sighs ]
-All right, here we go.
313
00:09:57,113 --> 00:09:59,633
[ Stammering ]
Wh-Wh-Whoa.
314
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:00,496
[ Grunting ]
315
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:02,740
All right, what the --
Mnh.
316
00:10:02,774 --> 00:10:04,880
[ Groans ]
317
00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:06,606
-Cool suspenders.
-Thanks.
318
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,055
They're a gift
from Rudy Giuliani.
319
00:10:08,090 --> 00:10:08,918
America's Mayor.
320
00:10:08,953 --> 00:10:09,919
Oh, yeah, right.
321
00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:12,059
I forgot how connected
you were.
322
00:10:12,094 --> 00:10:14,199
Oh, my gosh, thanks
for joining us, McConky.
323
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:15,304
What an honor.
324
00:10:15,338 --> 00:10:16,788
Okay, now, listen.
325
00:10:16,823 --> 00:10:18,376
A firefighter's turnout gear
326
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,481
is their most important
piece of equipment, okay?
327
00:10:20,516 --> 00:10:22,276
Putting it on quickly
is essential.
328
00:10:22,311 --> 00:10:25,590
So, first up,
the 39-second drill.
329
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,835
You guys have 39 seconds
to get into your full gear.
330
00:10:28,869 --> 00:10:31,734
Until you get 39 seconds,
you are not certified.
331
00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:33,425
My personal best
is seven seconds.
332
00:10:33,460 --> 00:10:34,668
I don't expect you to hit that.
333
00:10:34,703 --> 00:10:36,670
All the gear -- everything --
seven seconds?
334
00:10:36,705 --> 00:10:38,396
Yeah, maybe six.
I -- I wasn't -- you know.
335
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:40,329
Man, I bet everybody here
336
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,676
would love to see you do that
in seven seconds.
337
00:10:42,711 --> 00:10:43,919
-Yeah.
-That'd be great.
338
00:10:43,953 --> 00:10:45,645
I'm sure you all would.
I'm sure you all would.
339
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,785
But it's not about me.
It's about you guys today.
340
00:10:47,819 --> 00:10:49,579
Though this does remind me
of the time
341
00:10:49,614 --> 00:10:51,961
when my SCBA malfunctioned
in the middle of this fire --
342
00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:53,204
And go!
343
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,515
-Oh!
-Go!
344
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:57,518
[ All grunting ]
345
00:10:57,553 --> 00:10:59,451
Tick, tick, tick...
346
00:10:59,486 --> 00:11:02,696
♪♪
347
00:11:02,731 --> 00:11:05,837
♪♪
348
00:11:05,872 --> 00:11:06,907
And time!
349
00:11:06,942 --> 00:11:08,012
[ Groans ]
350
00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:10,842
Not bad, McConky -- 32 seconds.
351
00:11:10,877 --> 00:11:12,913
The rest of you clowns fail.
352
00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:14,225
While you were getting
zipped up,
353
00:11:14,259 --> 00:11:16,503
Little Jimmy's wooden leg
burst into flames.
354
00:11:16,537 --> 00:11:17,711
I'm sorry, he's dead.
355
00:11:17,746 --> 00:11:19,713
So we're all gonna do it again
except McConky.
356
00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:21,957
[ Whistles ]
357
00:11:21,991 --> 00:11:24,373
Next!
358
00:11:24,407 --> 00:11:26,444
Uh, steady, Penisi --
you wish.
359
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:28,446
Next!
360
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,828
What, did you stop for a taco
halfway down?
361
00:11:30,862 --> 00:11:32,622
Next!
362
00:11:32,657 --> 00:11:34,003
How's your pole technique?
363
00:11:34,038 --> 00:11:35,522
-Ike.
-Oh...
364
00:11:35,556 --> 00:11:36,799
We have already
covered this, buddy.
365
00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:37,731
No, I know.
I -- Look --
366
00:11:37,766 --> 00:11:38,836
Hmm...
[ Chuckles nervously ]
367
00:11:38,870 --> 00:11:40,527
I mean, how is your, uh,
368
00:11:40,561 --> 00:11:42,874
floor-to-floor
conveyance technique?
369
00:11:42,909 --> 00:11:45,463
Relax. I'm not gonna
report you to FOOFA.
370
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,775
FOO-- FOOFA?
371
00:11:46,809 --> 00:11:49,363
The Female Order
Of Firefighters Association?
372
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:51,193
What are --
That's a thing?
373
00:11:51,227 --> 00:11:53,643
It is, but you need
at least five infractions
374
00:11:53,678 --> 00:11:54,955
before FOOFA sanctions you.
375
00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:56,992
And you only have four,
so, we're cool.
376
00:11:57,026 --> 00:11:57,820
How --
377
00:11:57,855 --> 00:11:59,132
-Crystal? Crystal!
-Okay...
378
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,892
-Crystal, you're up!
-'Cause I'm trying -- oh, man.
379
00:12:00,927 --> 00:12:02,860
-Crystal!
-Wait, what are sanctions?
380
00:12:02,894 --> 00:12:04,033
Crystal!!
381
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:06,070
Quit with the yakety-yak,
okay? You're up.
382
00:12:06,104 --> 00:12:07,554
Okay, I got to go.
383
00:12:07,588 --> 00:12:09,590
Don't lose focus.
384
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:12,939
The problem with losing focus
is you can start to lose focus,
385
00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:16,563
and of the thing you tan to take
the Australian table wine.
386
00:12:16,597 --> 00:12:17,288
Oh!
387
00:12:17,322 --> 00:12:19,773
-Whoa! Hey, hey!
-Oh! Oh!
388
00:12:19,808 --> 00:12:20,774
Take his belt off.
Take his belt off.
389
00:12:20,809 --> 00:12:22,051
[ Grunts ]
390
00:12:22,086 --> 00:12:23,846
And I'm dead!
391
00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:25,261
-Ah.
-Oh, are you kidding me?
392
00:12:25,296 --> 00:12:27,643
A firefighter has got
to be ready for anything,
393
00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:30,025
including their instructor
having a seizure.
394
00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:31,509
That is a fail.
395
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:32,993
Well --
Well, that's not cool.
396
00:12:33,028 --> 00:12:34,961
That's not cool.
397
00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:37,342
♪♪
398
00:12:37,377 --> 00:12:41,105
Ah.
Some new additions.
399
00:12:41,139 --> 00:12:42,554
Ass-fixiate.
400
00:12:42,589 --> 00:12:44,211
I don't think you spell it
like that.
401
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,455
Wet.
402
00:12:46,489 --> 00:12:47,594
What's wrong with that?
403
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:49,251
Hey, Chief?
Yeah?
404
00:12:49,285 --> 00:12:51,149
I'd like to file
an official complaint
405
00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:53,738
under the new sensitivity
compliance guidelines.
406
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,704
You want to file
a complaint?
407
00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:55,395
Yes, sir.
408
00:12:55,429 --> 00:12:56,189
Against Wolf Boykins.
409
00:12:56,223 --> 00:12:57,224
For what?
410
00:12:57,259 --> 00:12:59,088
He said I look like
Baby Godzilla.
411
00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:02,091
[ Chuckles ]
412
00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:02,851
You're serious?
413
00:13:02,885 --> 00:13:04,128
-Yes.
-Okay, okay.
414
00:13:04,162 --> 00:13:06,371
It was in front of everyone,
and everyone laughed,
415
00:13:06,406 --> 00:13:08,028
and it made me feel
uncomfortable.
416
00:13:08,063 --> 00:13:09,547
Hmm.
417
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,584
♪♪
418
00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:15,587
♪♪
419
00:13:15,622 --> 00:13:18,798
His real name is Minya --
Baby Godzilla's real name.
420
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:19,971
Hmm?
421
00:13:20,006 --> 00:13:21,041
Thanks, Chief.
422
00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:23,457
You got it.
423
00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:25,149
Do you look like
Baby Godzilla?
424
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:26,702
What? No!
425
00:13:26,736 --> 00:13:29,394
[ Sighs ]
426
00:13:29,429 --> 00:13:31,741
Hm.
427
00:13:31,776 --> 00:13:34,399
Mm...
428
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:38,748
♪♪
429
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:43,029
♪♪
430
00:13:43,063 --> 00:13:44,824
Boykins: Can anybody tell me
the three things
431
00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,204
Penisi's doing wrong right now?
432
00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:48,034
Somebody, please? Anybody?
433
00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:51,140
Smith, what's the most important
part of mating a hydrant?
434
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:52,038
-Uh --
-Fail.
435
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,177
Dah!
436
00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:56,559
My baby! My baby!
A dingo ate my baby!
437
00:13:56,594 --> 00:13:57,975
-Not gonna work, Wolf.
-Oh, look.
438
00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,252
Who dropped their
$20 million bill?
439
00:13:59,286 --> 00:13:59,908
Not working, Wolf.
440
00:13:59,942 --> 00:14:00,770
[ Air horn blows ]
441
00:14:00,805 --> 00:14:02,531
-Hey, hey!
-Hey! Hey!
442
00:14:02,565 --> 00:14:05,845
-Come on!
-And that is a fail.
443
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,432
You see your crew?
444
00:14:07,467 --> 00:14:09,020
They're all relying on you
for water,
445
00:14:09,055 --> 00:14:09,952
but, nope, now they're dead.
446
00:14:09,987 --> 00:14:11,091
Come on, Wolf.
447
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,231
'Cause someone had
an air horn at a fire?
448
00:14:13,266 --> 00:14:14,715
You know, it's funny
bring that up.
449
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:17,477
Back in '09, we had a fire
and very low water pressure.
450
00:14:17,511 --> 00:14:19,444
So here I am.
I'm up on the 60th floor,
451
00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:20,549
and I'm pulling down
ceilings, you know --
452
00:14:20,583 --> 00:14:21,619
Oh, really?
That's weird,
453
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:22,689
'cause there's
no building in Tacoma
454
00:14:22,723 --> 00:14:24,139
that's taller
than 30 stories.
455
00:14:24,173 --> 00:14:25,657
What's that, now?
456
00:14:25,692 --> 00:14:26,900
What I'm saying is you
couldn't have been
457
00:14:26,935 --> 00:14:28,212
on the 60th floor,
'cause there's nothing in Tacoma
458
00:14:28,246 --> 00:14:29,420
that's even half that height.
459
00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:32,354
-Ooh!
-Maybe I wasn't in Tacoma.
460
00:14:32,388 --> 00:14:34,908
Oh, so you worked for
a different fire department?
461
00:14:34,943 --> 00:14:36,185
I'm confused,
'cause your story's
462
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:39,948
just kind of got
some holes in it.
463
00:14:39,982 --> 00:14:41,535
It never stops with you,
does it, Penisi?
464
00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:43,330
You never know when to hold that
pretty little tongue of yours.
465
00:14:43,365 --> 00:14:44,918
Well, guess what.
Now it's gonna come back,
466
00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,299
and it's gonna hurt
your whole crew.
467
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,128
Exactly how do you mean
that, sir?
468
00:14:48,163 --> 00:14:49,095
You want this crew
certified?
469
00:14:49,129 --> 00:14:50,199
Okay.
470
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:53,030
Well, we'll be here
all day and all night.
471
00:14:53,064 --> 00:14:54,652
'Cause it's my game now.
472
00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,550
And it just went into
the fifth quarter.
473
00:14:56,585 --> 00:14:58,207
The fuck are you
talking about?
474
00:14:58,242 --> 00:14:59,622
Wolfball.
475
00:15:02,487 --> 00:15:04,834
Okay, bunk room privacy.
476
00:15:04,869 --> 00:15:06,802
[ Chuckles ]
477
00:15:06,836 --> 00:15:09,494
Great.
Easy peasy.
478
00:15:09,529 --> 00:15:11,289
I can't take this guy anymore.
You got to get in there.
479
00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:12,946
You're pushing his buttons.
That's what you do.
480
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:14,361
I'm not.
The guy's full of shit.
481
00:15:14,396 --> 00:15:16,432
I get it. Eddie Penisi
doesn't suffer fools.
482
00:15:16,467 --> 00:15:19,573
But, hey, sometimes you got
to suck it up and apologize.
483
00:15:19,608 --> 00:15:21,058
I'm not apologizing
to this guy.
484
00:15:21,092 --> 00:15:23,750
He controls your certification.
Just apologize.
485
00:15:23,784 --> 00:15:25,821
And not one of those
half-assed apologies you do.
486
00:15:25,855 --> 00:15:27,064
You know, like, the...
487
00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:28,341
[ Gruff voice ]
"I'm sorry."
488
00:15:28,375 --> 00:15:29,549
Oh, that's how
I say I'm sorry?
489
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:30,757
[ Normal voice ] Yeah,
that's how you say it.
490
00:15:30,791 --> 00:15:32,069
[ Gruff voice ] "I'm sorry" --
that's what I do?
491
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:33,104
[ Gruff voice ]
I'm sorry.
492
00:15:33,139 --> 00:15:35,589
[ Normal voice ]
Okay, check this out.
493
00:15:35,624 --> 00:15:36,521
Sorry.
494
00:15:36,556 --> 00:15:38,006
[ Scoffs ]
Totally insincere.
495
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:38,938
I don't believe it
for a second.
496
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:39,593
You do it.
497
00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:41,768
All right, watch, ready?
498
00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:42,665
I'm sorry.
499
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:43,563
The worst.
500
00:15:43,597 --> 00:15:44,288
What are you talking about?
501
00:15:44,322 --> 00:15:45,496
The worst. Also, fake.
502
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:46,152
Check this out.
503
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:46,980
[ Soft music plays ]
504
00:15:47,015 --> 00:15:48,016
Sorry.
505
00:15:48,050 --> 00:15:49,258
I'm really sorry.
506
00:15:49,293 --> 00:15:50,708
I never meant to hurt you.
507
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,020
I swear, I'm so sorry.
508
00:15:52,054 --> 00:15:53,400
Straight up, I'm sorry.
509
00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:55,299
Don't you blame yourself.
510
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,438
I did it.
I'm sorry.
511
00:15:56,472 --> 00:15:58,750
Holy shit, man.
I-- I am so sorry.
512
00:15:58,785 --> 00:16:00,131
How could I?
I'm so sorry.
513
00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:00,994
It's my fault.
514
00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:02,064
I didn't even
think about you.
515
00:16:02,099 --> 00:16:02,823
It's my fault.
516
00:16:02,858 --> 00:16:03,514
I'm so sorry!
517
00:16:03,548 --> 00:16:04,308
I'm sorry.
518
00:16:04,342 --> 00:16:05,585
I'm fuckin' sorry.
519
00:16:05,619 --> 00:16:07,449
Come here.
520
00:16:07,483 --> 00:16:09,451
[ Sighs ]
521
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:10,866
I'm sorry.
522
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,351
Hey, um...
523
00:16:13,386 --> 00:16:14,249
What'd you guys
do to each other?
524
00:16:14,283 --> 00:16:15,319
[ Chuckles ]
525
00:16:15,353 --> 00:16:16,285
What is it, Ike?
526
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,597
Uh,
W-Wolf's ready for us,
527
00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:19,944
but -- but just
work this out.
528
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,222
I mean, you got time.
I'm so sorry.
529
00:16:22,257 --> 00:16:23,983
I shouldn't have barged in --
Sorry.
530
00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,192
I'm sorry.
531
00:16:26,226 --> 00:16:27,434
All right, come on.
Let's go.
532
00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:30,368
All right.
533
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:31,680
Oh, Chief, good.
534
00:16:31,714 --> 00:16:33,578
Wolf, hey, listen,
the Captain has something
535
00:16:33,613 --> 00:16:34,648
he'd like to say to you.
536
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:35,753
Well, I have something
to say to you.
537
00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:37,099
It's time for
the agility test.
538
00:16:37,134 --> 00:16:38,618
Cool.
Cap, go ahead.
539
00:16:38,652 --> 00:16:40,171
Line it up.
540
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:42,035
Oh, you know what?
Pretend I'm not here.
541
00:16:42,070 --> 00:16:44,210
-Go ahead.
-No, you, line it up.
542
00:16:44,244 --> 00:16:45,280
You're doing it, too.
543
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:48,697
[ Chuckles ]
Uh, I'm the Chief.
544
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,182
And I need to certify
everyone, m'kay?
545
00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:53,253
Now, I've let you slide --
no more.
546
00:16:53,288 --> 00:16:55,393
[ Breathes deeply ]
547
00:16:55,428 --> 00:16:58,362
Listen, Wolf, uh, I have
a sensitivity compliance report
548
00:16:58,396 --> 00:16:59,846
I need to file with
the Commissioner's office
549
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,192
by EOD, so...
550
00:17:01,227 --> 00:17:06,128
Ooh, EOD, mmm,
you must be a BFD.
551
00:17:06,163 --> 00:17:07,509
Well, I tell you what.
552
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:09,062
You're not gonna have a lot
of time to fill out forms
553
00:17:09,097 --> 00:17:11,547
when you're spending a month
in my boot camp,
554
00:17:11,582 --> 00:17:13,135
AKA Campo de Lobo.
555
00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:19,003
Mm? That is,
unless you think...
556
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,212
maybe you can't
pass the test.
557
00:17:21,247 --> 00:17:24,250
♪♪
558
00:17:24,284 --> 00:17:26,390
[ Sighs ]
559
00:17:26,424 --> 00:17:28,495
You ready for this,
Chief?
560
00:17:28,530 --> 00:17:29,531
Hold on.
561
00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:31,774
[ Grunting ]
562
00:17:31,809 --> 00:17:33,052
What is this?
563
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,605
Oh, geez.
Okay.
564
00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:37,021
Dense baby dummy.
50 pounds.
565
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,782
Carry it up the stairs
for training purposes.
566
00:17:39,817 --> 00:17:41,267
You got 30 seconds
to get up there,
567
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:43,096
ring that bell,
and get back down.
568
00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:44,442
-And go!
-You got it Chief.
569
00:17:44,477 --> 00:17:45,512
[ All cheering ]
570
00:17:45,547 --> 00:17:47,687
[ Grunting ]
571
00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:49,585
[ Cheering continues ]
572
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:50,966
[ Grunting ]
573
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,073
♪♪
574
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:55,315
[ Bell rings ]
575
00:17:55,350 --> 00:17:57,938
[ Panting ]
576
00:17:57,973 --> 00:17:58,629
[ Stopwatch beeps ]
577
00:17:58,663 --> 00:17:59,457
-Oh!
-[ Sighs ]
578
00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:01,321
Not too bad -- 45 seconds.
579
00:18:01,356 --> 00:18:03,047
I guess we'll have to
go again.
580
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,497
And go!
581
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:06,326
-Yay, let's go, Chief!
-Come on! Whoo!
582
00:18:06,361 --> 00:18:08,432
[ All cheering ]
583
00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:10,123
[ Bell rings ]
584
00:18:10,158 --> 00:18:12,815
[ Grunting ]
585
00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:14,127
[ Stopwatch beeps ]
586
00:18:14,162 --> 00:18:16,923
-Oh, 40 seconds.
-All right!
587
00:18:16,957 --> 00:18:19,028
You're getting closer.
588
00:18:19,063 --> 00:18:20,651
Tell you what. I'll give
you one more chance.
589
00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:22,101
And go!
590
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:22,998
[ All cheering ]
591
00:18:23,032 --> 00:18:25,000
[ Grunting ]
592
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:27,140
[ Bell rings ]
593
00:18:27,175 --> 00:18:28,210
[ Stopwatch beeps ]
594
00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:29,073
Aww,
595
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,626
50 seconds.
596
00:18:30,661 --> 00:18:32,973
Someone's going
the wrong direction.
597
00:18:33,008 --> 00:18:34,975
Tell you what.
I'll let you catch your breath,
598
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:38,703
and then I'm gonna give you
one more chance.
599
00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:39,532
[ Smooches ]
600
00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:43,122
[ Panting ]
601
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,675
All right, so I should
I apologize now?
602
00:18:44,709 --> 00:18:47,264
How you want me to do it?
Like, I'm really sorry.
603
00:18:47,298 --> 00:18:48,955
I'm so sorry.
604
00:18:48,989 --> 00:18:50,025
Fuck this guy.
605
00:18:50,059 --> 00:18:50,715
Yeah!
606
00:18:53,615 --> 00:18:54,892
Now, listen!
607
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:56,583
Take the ladder out of the back
of the truck,
608
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:59,621
put it against the wall,
climb to the top in 20 seconds.
609
00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:00,863
Piece of cake, right?
610
00:19:00,898 --> 00:19:02,969
Well, let me tell you one of my
own little ladder
611
00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:04,591
experience stories, okay?
612
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:06,835
Back in 2006, we had
the Milton Street fires.
613
00:19:06,869 --> 00:19:07,974
Remember that?
614
00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:09,009
My truck was the first one
on the scene,
615
00:19:09,044 --> 00:19:10,666
of course, so what do I do?
616
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:12,185
I scale the aerial, right?
617
00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:13,359
Get a view of the fourth floor.
618
00:19:13,393 --> 00:19:15,499
There I see a woman
with not one, not two,
619
00:19:15,533 --> 00:19:18,122
not three, maybe four babies,
all of them infants.
620
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,193
She was breastfeeding.
It was crazy.
621
00:19:20,228 --> 00:19:22,816
Hey, wh-- what --
who's doing that?
622
00:19:22,851 --> 00:19:24,163
Hey!
623
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:27,994
Hey, hey --
Hey, who's doing that?
624
00:19:28,028 --> 00:19:29,064
McConky, okay.
625
00:19:29,098 --> 00:19:31,549
M-McConky, let me down!
Let me down!
626
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:34,483
A firefighter has to be ready
for anything, right, Wolf?
627
00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:36,209
Shut up, McConky.
I'm afraid of heights.
628
00:19:36,244 --> 00:19:38,142
I remember that
from the Academy.
629
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,661
Put me down right now,
you -- you shit
630
00:19:39,695 --> 00:19:40,696
pussy fuck grabbing
631
00:19:40,731 --> 00:19:42,008
leather scratching
motherfucker!
632
00:19:42,042 --> 00:19:44,424
[ High-pitched ] McConky!
Let me down!
633
00:19:44,459 --> 00:19:45,977
He's crying like
a little girl!
634
00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:46,944
[ Chuckles ]
635
00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,015
I mean, like
a genderless creature.
636
00:19:49,049 --> 00:19:50,982
He's crying like
a genderless creature.
637
00:19:51,017 --> 00:19:53,019
Where's your dense baby now,
Wolf?
638
00:19:53,053 --> 00:19:55,021
[ Normal voice ]
Fail, fail, fail!
639
00:19:55,055 --> 00:19:56,367
I'm calling Linda Price!
640
00:19:56,402 --> 00:19:57,851
I can't hear him up there.
What's he saying?
641
00:19:57,886 --> 00:20:00,682
I think he's saying no one's
gonna win the Fart Jar.
642
00:20:00,716 --> 00:20:03,443
I'll see you motherfuckers
at Campo de Lobo!
643
00:20:03,478 --> 00:20:06,274
[ High-pitched ] McConky!
Let me down!
644
00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:09,069
Eddie can't control himself.
Eddie doesn't suffer fools.
645
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:10,381
Eddie's a loose cannon.
646
00:20:10,416 --> 00:20:12,383
I don't know what happened.
Something just came over me.
647
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:13,660
Yeah, well, from now on,
648
00:20:13,695 --> 00:20:15,938
I should be allowed
unlimited wise-assery.
649
00:20:15,973 --> 00:20:17,975
You're right.
You are right.
650
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,632
You know what?
Hey, a firefighter
651
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:20,978
does not behave like that.
652
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,256
Now we have to spend a month
with that jack hole.
653
00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:25,258
Honestly, I am sorry.
654
00:20:25,293 --> 00:20:26,811
Wait a second.
That was a good one.
655
00:20:26,846 --> 00:20:28,537
I believe that "I'm sorry."I meant it.
656
00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:29,745
I got to tell you,
it was pretty funny
657
00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:31,195
seeing that guy up
on the ladder though, huh?
658
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,128
I know. A firefighter
that's afraid of heights?
659
00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:34,267
Whaaat?
660
00:20:34,302 --> 00:20:36,476
[ Laughter ]
661
00:20:42,448 --> 00:20:43,345
Yeah...
662
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:44,864
Oh, man.
663
00:20:44,898 --> 00:20:47,315
[ All sighing ]
664
00:20:47,349 --> 00:20:48,730
[ Chuckles ]
665
00:20:48,764 --> 00:20:51,664
Well, I'm gonna go file
that sensitivity report.
666
00:20:51,698 --> 00:20:53,873
Camp with that asshole's
gonna suck!
667
00:20:53,907 --> 00:20:56,841
Well, my other job takes up
all my free time.
668
00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:58,533
Don't know what
I'm gonna tell them.[ Alarm blaring ]
669
00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,293
Dispatcher MVA --
Rome and Anderson Street.
670
00:21:00,328 --> 00:21:03,089
Engine 24 rescue.
Medical personnel required.
671
00:21:03,123 --> 00:21:04,573
Right around the corner.
Let's hit it.
672
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:06,403
♪♪
673
00:21:06,437 --> 00:21:08,957
[ Siren wails ]
674
00:21:08,991 --> 00:21:11,477
♪♪
675
00:21:11,511 --> 00:21:12,926
Holy shit, it's Wolf!
676
00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:13,996
Hey, do you know
your name?
677
00:21:14,031 --> 00:21:17,034
W-Wolfgang Harold Boykins III.
678
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,138
Do you know where you are?
679
00:21:18,173 --> 00:21:19,312
In the Wolf-mobile.
680
00:21:19,347 --> 00:21:21,314
Hold on, he's doing it again.
It's another ruse.
681
00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:22,488
I don't think so, Cap.
682
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:24,490
He's crying Wolf,
literally.
683
00:21:24,524 --> 00:21:26,319
[ Screaming ]
684
00:21:26,354 --> 00:21:27,355
Cap, he's hurt.
685
00:21:27,389 --> 00:21:31,807
So v-v-very c-c-cold.
686
00:21:31,842 --> 00:21:34,258
Oh, I got the AC on.
687
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,639
Check the blood.
It's fake.
688
00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:37,882
Smith: Dude, he has a pole
going through his body.
689
00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:40,747
Come on. Oops, no, okay,
that's real blood.
690
00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,370
Ike, call an ambulance.
691
00:21:42,404 --> 00:21:43,647
Uh, we need an ambulance
on site.
692
00:21:43,681 --> 00:21:46,270
Victim has a fence pole --
err, uh, a fence --
693
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:47,340
a -- a fence supportive device.
694
00:21:47,375 --> 00:21:48,652
Don't report me to FOOFA, okay?
695
00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:49,687
I'm trying to work here.
696
00:21:49,722 --> 00:21:51,137
Cut the shit and just
say it, Ike.
697
00:21:51,171 --> 00:21:52,759
I made FOOFA up.
698
00:21:52,794 --> 00:21:54,623
Victim has double-penetration
from a stiff pole,
699
00:21:54,658 --> 00:21:56,453
causing a deep gash
and heavy blood flow.
700
00:21:56,487 --> 00:21:58,800
There, I said it.
701
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:00,146
I can't believe you made
that up!
702
00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:00,974
[ Siren chirps ]
703
00:22:01,009 --> 00:22:02,321
If I don't make it, Granny,
704
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:04,599
I want you to have
my Barry Manilow records.
705
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:05,738
Fuck.
706
00:22:05,772 --> 00:22:07,774
Maybe this is just
the morphine talking,
707
00:22:07,809 --> 00:22:10,881
but consider yourselves
all passed.
708
00:22:10,915 --> 00:22:12,745
You get that?
Oh, yeah, Cap.
709
00:22:12,779 --> 00:22:15,989
Young McConky here is
the number-one trainee today.
710
00:22:16,024 --> 00:22:17,439
-What?!
-You get that?
711
00:22:17,474 --> 00:22:19,993
You know, you kind of remind me
of a young me when I was me.
712
00:22:20,028 --> 00:22:21,409
[ Chuckles, groans ]
713
00:22:21,443 --> 00:22:23,756
You know, it's funny.
When I was a rookie,
714
00:22:23,790 --> 00:22:27,932
we got a call to the zoo
about a lion that had escaped,
715
00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:31,764
and -- and the lion had
purple wings and braided hair...
716
00:22:31,798 --> 00:22:33,559
Hang on, hang on,
hang on, hang on.
717
00:22:33,593 --> 00:22:35,871
Hey, Wolfie,
no hard feelings, okay?
718
00:22:35,906 --> 00:22:36,941
I just wanted to say,
719
00:22:36,976 --> 00:22:38,667
this pole's a real nice fit
on you.
720
00:22:38,702 --> 00:22:42,291
You look like
an asshole Popsicle.
721
00:22:42,326 --> 00:22:43,672
Okay.
722
00:22:43,707 --> 00:22:45,364
I have to get the last word in.
723
00:22:45,398 --> 00:22:46,468
What'd you say to him?
724
00:22:46,503 --> 00:22:48,125
I told him
I was really sorry.
725
00:22:48,159 --> 00:22:50,438
Good for you, Eddie.
Good for you.
726
00:22:50,472 --> 00:22:52,301
-Come on.
-Looks like those Fart Jars
727
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:53,579
are mine, fellas.
728
00:22:53,613 --> 00:22:55,512
Well, I know somebody that's
buying us drinks tonight.
729
00:22:55,546 --> 00:22:58,169
Deal, and I know
just the perfect place.
730
00:22:58,204 --> 00:22:59,688
Ah!
731
00:22:59,723 --> 00:23:01,518
Well, I know how much
you guys love strip clubs,
732
00:23:01,552 --> 00:23:04,417
so the least I could do
is buy you a drink here.
733
00:23:04,452 --> 00:23:06,005
This is super
inappropriate.
734
00:23:06,039 --> 00:23:07,282
Yeah,
way over the line.
735
00:23:07,316 --> 00:23:08,559
[ Laughter ]
736
00:23:08,594 --> 00:23:11,010
Emcee:
Ladies and gentlemen...
737
00:23:11,044 --> 00:23:13,357
please welcome
to the stage...
738
00:23:13,392 --> 00:23:15,428
[ Cheers and applause ]
739
00:23:15,463 --> 00:23:18,017
Crystal Hose!
740
00:23:18,051 --> 00:23:19,570
[ People cheering ]
741
00:23:19,605 --> 00:23:21,883
Yes!
742
00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:25,196
[ Cheering continues ]
743
00:23:25,231 --> 00:23:27,785
Here he comes!
744
00:23:27,820 --> 00:23:29,304
-Oh, boy.
-What's up, guys?
745
00:23:29,338 --> 00:23:30,409
What's up, dude?
746
00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:31,271
Hey, buddy.
747
00:23:31,306 --> 00:23:32,652
Kitchen closes at 10:00,
748
00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:34,378
but I'll tell Fernando
if you want something, okay?
749
00:23:34,413 --> 00:23:36,449
-Really?
-Yeah. I'll be about 20 minutes.
750
00:23:36,484 --> 00:23:38,451
Whoo!
751
00:23:38,486 --> 00:23:41,005
[ Cheering continues ]
752
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:44,043
Yeah! I've never been
so proud of you.
753
00:23:44,077 --> 00:23:45,078
Thanks, Lucy.
754
00:23:45,113 --> 00:23:46,735
Whoo! Man, it's kind
of awesome knowing
755
00:23:46,770 --> 00:23:49,669
where Ike gets
all his singles from.
756
00:23:49,704 --> 00:23:51,844
Wait, you guys have never
seen Ike dance here before?
757
00:23:51,878 --> 00:23:53,570
-Why would we?
-Because he's your friend.
758
00:23:53,604 --> 00:23:55,606
Dude, I don't go to
Andy's Carpet Land job
759
00:23:55,641 --> 00:23:57,056
to go see him.
760
00:23:57,090 --> 00:23:58,885
You're welcome anytime,
though.
761
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,300
All you guys are.
762
00:24:00,335 --> 00:24:01,854
[ Velcro rips ]
763
00:24:01,888 --> 00:24:05,029
[ People cheering ]
764
00:24:05,064 --> 00:24:07,653
Give the people
what they want!
765
00:24:07,687 --> 00:24:09,206
Whoo!
766
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,311
Hey, behave yourself.
Lucy, sit down.
767
00:24:11,346 --> 00:24:13,693
Oh, it's fun.
He thinks it's fun!
768
00:24:13,728 --> 00:24:15,281
Wait, what was that?
That's kind of a --
769
00:24:15,315 --> 00:24:17,594
Oh, hey, hey!
Put me down!
770
00:24:17,628 --> 00:24:19,285
I am a firefighter!
Hey!
771
00:24:19,319 --> 00:24:20,493
Dad!
Put -- Put me down!
772
00:24:20,528 --> 00:24:21,736
You gonna do something
about that?
773
00:24:21,770 --> 00:24:22,806
Hey, let go of me!
774
00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:25,325
Hey, four more
purple knobs, please.
775
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,086
-Aww, thanks, Chief.
-Yeah.
776
00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:29,053
Put me down!
777
00:24:29,088 --> 00:24:31,780
Hey, that's my helmet!
53496
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