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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:40,137 - Colonel Sandurz! - What is it, Sergeant Ricco? 2 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:46,310 You told me to let you know the moment Planet Druidia was in sight, sir. 3 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,979 - So? - Planet Druidia's in sight, sir. 4 00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,982 You're really a Spaceball. 5 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,735 - You know that, don't you? - Thanks, sir. 6 00:03:54,819 --> 00:03:58,322 - Have you notified Lord Helmet? - Yes, sir. He's on his way. 7 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,491 Make way for Dark Helmet. 8 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:03,702 All rise in the presence of Dark Helmet. 9 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,837 I can't breathe in this thing! 10 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,507 - We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir. - Good. 11 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:02,052 I'll call Spaceball City and notify President Skroob. 12 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,222 I already called him, sir. He knows everything. 13 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,684 What? 14 00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:11,187 You went over my helmet? 15 00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:14,148 Not exactly over, sir. Uh, m-m-more to the side. 16 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:17,985 I'll always call you first. It'll never happen again. Never, ever! 17 00:05:19,779 --> 00:05:21,655 Oh, shit! 18 00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,824 No, no, no, no! No, no! 19 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:27,203 Please, please, please! No, no, not that! 20 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,498 Yes, that. 21 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:34,460 Whoa! Oh! 22 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,462 Ooh! Ooh! Oh! 23 00:05:36,879 --> 00:05:40,007 Ooh! Ooh! Ow! 24 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,352 - Sandurz! - Sir? 25 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,687 I don't see Planet Druidia. Where is it? 26 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:57,733 We have it on the radar screen. Shall I punch it up for you? 27 00:05:57,817 --> 00:06:00,569 - Nah, I'll do it myself. - Very good, sir. 28 00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:08,160 What's the matter with this thing? You call that a radar screen? 29 00:06:08,244 --> 00:06:10,830 No, sir. We call it... Mr Coffee. 30 00:06:10,913 --> 00:06:12,998 Care for some? 31 00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:15,167 Yes! 32 00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:18,170 - I always have coffee when I watch radar. - Of course. 33 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:21,090 - Everybody knows that. - Of course we do, sir. 34 00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:26,470 Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar. 35 00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,431 Where is it? 36 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:31,475 - Right here, sir. - Switch to teleview. 37 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:34,937 There it is. Planet Druidia. 38 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,190 And under the air shield 10,000 years of fresh air. 39 00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:41,277 - We must get through the shield. - We will, sir. 40 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:46,824 Once we kidnap the princess, her father'll give us the combination to the air shield, 41 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:51,203 thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceball. 42 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,372 Everybody got that? 43 00:06:53,831 --> 00:06:57,460 - Good. When will the princess marry? - Within the hour, sir. 44 00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:02,214 Well, I hope it's a long ceremony, cos it's gonna be a short honeymoon. 45 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,344 Mm! Mm! 46 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,305 Mm! 47 00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,933 Hot! Too hot! 48 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:32,369 Oh, if only your mother were alive to see this day. 49 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,538 - Everyone ready? - Yes, Your Majesty. 50 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:38,501 - No. Where's my droid of honour? - Oh, dear, yes! Where's Dot? 51 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,044 Dot! 52 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,213 Dot Matrix! 53 00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,381 Oh, thank God. 54 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,926 - Where have you been? - Here I am. 55 00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,136 Sorry. I had to make a pit stop. 56 00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:51,972 I'm so excited, I couldn't hold my oil. 57 00:07:52,056 --> 00:07:54,975 All right, people. It's magic time. 58 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:57,728 Right, everyone starting on the left foot. 59 00:07:57,812 --> 00:08:01,065 - Daddy, that's your right foot. - It's too late. Keep going. 60 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:17,373 Daddy? 61 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:21,710 - Must I go through with this? - I'm sorry, my dear. You have to. 62 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,306 But, Daddy? 63 00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,267 I don't love him. 64 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:39,812 I'm sorry, Vespa. He's the last prince left in the galaxy. 65 00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:55,453 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this most joyous occasion 66 00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:59,665 to witness Princess Vespa, daughter of King Roland... 67 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:04,170 going right past the altar, heading down the ramp, and out the door! 68 00:09:04,462 --> 00:09:07,673 Stop her! Someone, stop her! Stop her! 69 00:09:08,299 --> 00:09:11,135 Hey, wait! You forgot to get married. 70 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,012 Will you stop? 71 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:17,141 - What are you doing? - No questions, Dot. Get in! 72 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,112 Where is she going?! Where is she going? 73 00:09:34,325 --> 00:09:36,452 Come ba... ... 74 00:09:36,535 --> 00:09:37,953 ...ck! 75 00:09:58,224 --> 00:10:00,309 # Ooh, yeah! 76 00:10:06,023 --> 00:10:07,900 # You 77 00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:11,570 # You got a nasty reputation 78 00:10:11,654 --> 00:10:15,116 # We're in a sticky situation 79 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:18,619 # It's down to me and you 80 00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,705 # So tell me, is it true? 81 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,875 # They say there ain't nobody better... 82 00:10:35,261 --> 00:10:37,346 Barf... 83 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,892 Barf. 84 00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,146 Ba-arf! 85 00:10:46,188 --> 00:10:47,440 Huh? 86 00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:49,608 # Raise your hands... 87 00:10:51,444 --> 00:10:54,405 - Barf? - Always when I'm eating. 88 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,912 Barf! 89 00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:05,875 - What can I do you for? - Where you been? 90 00:11:05,958 --> 00:11:08,377 - Grabbin' a snack. Want some? - No. 91 00:11:08,461 --> 00:11:11,714 - Little hair of the dog? - No! Listen, answer that for me. 92 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,883 - Will you watch that? - Oh, sorry. 93 00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:17,845 I'll just throw on your audio. That way they won't see you. 94 00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:21,515 - Y'hello! - Hello, Lone Starr. 95 00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:23,267 Sorry, wrong switch. 96 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,728 Hello, Vinnie. What do you want? 97 00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:29,607 No, no, no, no, no, no. It's not what I want. 98 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,693 It's what he wants. 99 00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,948 Pizza The Hutt! 100 00:11:38,032 --> 00:11:41,160 Well, if it isn't Lone Starr... 101 00:11:41,243 --> 00:11:43,954 ...and his sidekick, Puke. 102 00:11:44,455 --> 00:11:48,417 - That's Barf. - Barf, Puke, whatever! 103 00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:53,297 - Where's my money? - Don't worry. You'll have it by next week. 104 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,008 No, no. I gotta have it by tomorrow. 105 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:59,720 A hundred thousand space bucks... by tomorrow?! 106 00:11:59,804 --> 00:12:01,889 A hundred thousand? 107 00:12:02,348 --> 00:12:05,601 No way! You forgot late charges, 108 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:09,730 which brings it up to, uh... one million space bucks. 109 00:12:09,814 --> 00:12:13,234 A million?! That's unfair. 110 00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,528 Unfair to the payer, 111 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,780 but not to the payee. 112 00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:22,785 But you're gonna pay it... 113 00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,537 ...or else. 114 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:26,831 Or else what? 115 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,999 Tell him, Vinnie. 116 00:12:31,085 --> 00:12:33,170 Or else Pizza 117 00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:36,006 is gonna send out for you. 118 00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,097 Mm! 119 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:44,849 You're delicious. 120 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:47,017 Ciao, boys. 121 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,043 Can we talk? 122 00:13:13,127 --> 00:13:16,213 OK, we all know Prince Valium is a pill. 123 00:13:16,297 --> 00:13:20,760 But you could've married him for your father, then had a headache for 25 years. 124 00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,723 Will you turn that thing off? 125 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,811 What? 126 00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:33,230 What is it? 127 00:13:33,314 --> 00:13:36,400 I was saying, do you realise what you've done? 128 00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:38,778 Yes! And I'm glad. 129 00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:41,989 Glad, glad, glad, glad, glad. 130 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,576 I wonder if she's glad. 131 00:13:53,542 --> 00:13:55,628 Don't be ridiculous! 132 00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:59,924 As President of Planet Spaceball, I can assure both you and your viewers 133 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:03,803 that there's absolutely no air shortage whatsoever. 134 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:07,306 Yes, of course. I've heard the same rumour myself. 135 00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:11,602 Yes, thanks for calling and not reversing the charges. Yes, bye. 136 00:14:12,603 --> 00:14:14,688 Shithead! 137 00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:32,415 President Skroob? 138 00:14:32,498 --> 00:14:33,958 Yes? 139 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,461 This is Central Control. Commanderette Zircon speaking, sir. 140 00:14:37,545 --> 00:14:39,004 What is it? 141 00:14:39,088 --> 00:14:42,716 Lord Helmet has just notified us that Princess Vespa is in sight. 142 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,137 - And Spaceball One is closing in on her. - Good, good. 143 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:50,224 We have both ships coming up on the Teledar, sir, if you wish to observe. 144 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:55,020 - I'll be down immediately. - Shall I have Snotty beam you down, sir? 145 00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:58,023 I don't know about that beaming stuff. Is it safe? 146 00:14:58,107 --> 00:15:01,777 Oh, yes, sir. Snotty beamed me twice last night. 147 00:15:01,861 --> 00:15:04,321 It was wonderful. 148 00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:08,409 All right, I'll take a shot at it. What the hell, it works on Star Trek. 149 00:15:12,788 --> 00:15:14,665 Snotty! 150 00:15:14,749 --> 00:15:17,877 - Beam him down. - Yes, sir. Immediately, sir. 151 00:15:31,015 --> 00:15:33,517 Great beasties! His head! 152 00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:37,813 - It's on backwards! - Well, this is terrible! Do something! 153 00:15:37,897 --> 00:15:42,401 I'm sorry, sir. There must have been a micro-converter malfunction. 154 00:15:43,611 --> 00:15:46,614 Why didn't somebody tell me my ass was so big? 155 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:52,411 Hold on, sir. We'll try to reverse the beam. 156 00:15:52,495 --> 00:15:54,789 Could be the interlocking system. 157 00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:01,003 Lock one. Lock two. Lock three. 158 00:16:01,087 --> 00:16:02,546 Loch Lomond. 159 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,643 Are you all right, Mr President? 160 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:17,812 Fine, fine, no thanks to you. 161 00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:21,982 - We'll beam you back, sir. - Forget it, forget it. No more beaming. 162 00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:24,151 This time I'm gonna walk! 163 00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,074 President Skroob! Salute! 164 00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,618 Hail, Skroob! 165 00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:37,331 - Hello, President Skroob. - Oh, uh... 166 00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,959 - Hello, Charlene. - I'm Marlene! 167 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,795 - Hello, Marlene. - I'm Charlene! 168 00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:45,047 Chew your gum. 169 00:16:45,131 --> 00:16:47,758 - Where's the princess? - Right there, sir. 170 00:16:47,842 --> 00:16:52,596 To the left, approaching Spaceball One at 1500 light leagues per minute. 171 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,391 Good, good! She's almost in our grasp. 172 00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:58,436 Tell Dark Helmet he must take the princess alive. 173 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,529 Princess Vespa's spaceship within range. 174 00:17:08,612 --> 00:17:13,242 Good. Fire a warning shot across her nose. 175 00:17:14,285 --> 00:17:16,912 What's going on? 176 00:17:16,996 --> 00:17:21,167 It's either the Fourth of July, or someone's trying to kill us! 177 00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:27,089 Hey, I don't have to put up with this. 178 00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:29,258 I'm rich. 179 00:17:29,759 --> 00:17:32,636 - What are you doing? - I'm calling my father. 180 00:17:33,012 --> 00:17:36,098 1- 800- DRUIDIA. 181 00:17:38,893 --> 00:17:42,646 Careful, you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it! 182 00:17:43,189 --> 00:17:45,524 Sorry, sir. Doing my best. 183 00:17:46,275 --> 00:17:48,944 - Who made that man a gunner? - I did, sir. 184 00:17:49,028 --> 00:17:50,863 He's my cousin. 185 00:17:50,946 --> 00:17:53,240 - Who is he? - He's an Asshole, sir. 186 00:17:53,324 --> 00:17:58,329 - I know that! What's his name? - That is his name, sir. Major Asshole. 187 00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:02,291 - And his cousin? - An Asshole, too. Gunner Phillip Asshole. 188 00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:05,044 How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow? 189 00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:07,213 Yo! 190 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:11,926 I knew it. I'm surrounded by Assholes. 191 00:18:13,719 --> 00:18:16,055 Keep firing, Assholes! 192 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:19,975 Hurry, Daddy! Hurry! 193 00:18:20,059 --> 00:18:22,394 There are laser blasts all around us! 194 00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:24,230 I'm scared. 195 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:30,111 King Roland to Lone Starr! King Roland to Lone Starr! Are you there? 196 00:18:30,361 --> 00:18:35,449 Lone Starr, you've got to help me. My daughter's being attacked by Spaceballs. 197 00:18:35,533 --> 00:18:38,035 Spaceballs? Forget it. Too dangerous. 198 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:41,956 Besides, I'm already nero uno on Dark Helmet's hit list. 199 00:18:42,039 --> 00:18:45,126 Look, Your Highness, it's not that we're afraid. 200 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:48,963 It's just that we've got this thing about death. It's not us. 201 00:18:49,046 --> 00:18:52,508 You're the only ones that can save her! I'll give you anything! 202 00:18:52,591 --> 00:18:54,677 Did you hear me? Anything! 203 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,763 - Anything? - Yes, anything! 204 00:18:59,056 --> 00:19:03,602 - OK, we'll do it for... a million. - A million! 205 00:19:03,686 --> 00:19:06,480 Oh, you're starting to fade, Your Highness. 206 00:19:06,564 --> 00:19:09,483 All right, I'll pay it. Only find her, save her. 207 00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,986 All right, King. You just made a deal. 208 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:14,572 One princess for one million space bucks. 209 00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:17,992 - What's she driving? - A brand-new white Mercedes 2001 210 00:19:18,075 --> 00:19:21,662 SEL limited edition. Moonroof, all-leather interior. 211 00:19:21,746 --> 00:19:24,039 I got it at a good price. I paid cash. 212 00:19:24,123 --> 00:19:27,501 My cousin Prince Murray has a dealership. He was very nice to me. 213 00:19:27,585 --> 00:19:30,212 We get the idea. Where was she last seen? 214 00:19:30,296 --> 00:19:33,549 - She was just passing Jupiter Two. - We'll find her. 215 00:19:33,632 --> 00:19:35,718 Please, bring her back safely! 216 00:19:36,719 --> 00:19:40,181 And if it's at all possible, try to save the car. 217 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:45,144 One million space bucks! We can pay off Pizza! 218 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:46,896 Gimme paw! 219 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:55,905 What's happening? 220 00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:59,116 What's that glow? 221 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,369 - We're not moving. - Oh, we're moving all right. 222 00:20:02,453 --> 00:20:04,538 Backwards! 223 00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:11,170 There's our princess. She's got company. 224 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:15,341 Oh, no. Spaceballs. And they've got her in their magnetic beam. 225 00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:18,511 Oh, well, we're too late. I'll just reverse and we'll go. 226 00:20:18,594 --> 00:20:21,055 Barf! No. Bad. 227 00:20:21,138 --> 00:20:24,975 Why are we risking our lives for a princess? I know we need money... 228 00:20:25,059 --> 00:20:28,187 Listen! We're not just doing this for money. 229 00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:33,442 We're doing it for a shitload of money! 230 00:20:33,526 --> 00:20:36,487 Oh, you're right. And when you're right, you're right. 231 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,239 And you're always right. 232 00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:42,284 OK, we save her, but how? They're gonna spot us on their radar. 233 00:20:42,368 --> 00:20:43,411 - Uh-uh. - Uh-huh. 234 00:20:43,494 --> 00:20:44,537 - Uh-uh. - Uh-huh. 235 00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:46,956 Uh-uh, not if we jam it. 236 00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:48,958 Aha! You're right. 237 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:51,335 - Down scope! - Down scope. 238 00:20:57,383 --> 00:21:00,511 Radar about to be... 239 00:21:00,594 --> 00:21:02,054 jammed. 240 00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:26,078 Sh... 241 00:21:26,162 --> 00:21:27,830 ...it! 242 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:34,754 Sir? 243 00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:38,883 - What is it? - Can I talk to you for a moment, sir? 244 00:21:42,178 --> 00:21:44,472 - Well? - Trouble with the radar, sir. 245 00:21:44,555 --> 00:21:46,932 You don't need that, Private. What is it? 246 00:21:47,016 --> 00:21:49,643 Trouble with the radar, sir. 247 00:21:49,727 --> 00:21:51,937 - What is it?! - Trouble with the radar. 248 00:21:52,021 --> 00:21:55,024 - What's wrong? - I've lost the bleeps, sweeps and creeps. 249 00:21:55,107 --> 00:21:56,275 - The what? - The what? 250 00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:59,695 You know. The bleeps: 251 00:22:01,030 --> 00:22:03,115 The sweeps: 252 00:22:04,658 --> 00:22:07,203 And the creeps: 253 00:22:07,912 --> 00:22:09,997 That's not all he's lost. 254 00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:12,875 Sir. The radar, sir. It appears to be... 255 00:22:14,627 --> 00:22:16,504 jammed! 256 00:22:17,338 --> 00:22:19,423 Jammed. 257 00:22:22,551 --> 00:22:24,887 Raspberry. 258 00:22:25,596 --> 00:22:30,392 There is only one man who would dare give me the raspberry. 259 00:22:31,435 --> 00:22:33,521 Lone Starr! 260 00:23:00,756 --> 00:23:02,633 What was that? 261 00:23:02,716 --> 00:23:06,095 Never mind that. What was that? 262 00:23:06,178 --> 00:23:08,639 Hi. 263 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:11,100 - Who are you? - Barf. 264 00:23:11,183 --> 00:23:13,477 Not in here, mister. This is a Mercedes. 265 00:23:13,561 --> 00:23:15,813 No, that's my name. Barf. 266 00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:18,399 Barf? What are you? 267 00:23:18,482 --> 00:23:23,571 I'm a mog. Half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend. 268 00:23:23,654 --> 00:23:25,114 What do you want? 269 00:23:25,197 --> 00:23:28,868 Your father hired Lone Starr and me to save you. We gotta go. 270 00:23:28,951 --> 00:23:33,080 - Good. Quick. Hurry. Follow the dog. - Mog. I'm a mog. 271 00:23:33,164 --> 00:23:35,458 Wait. What about my matched luggage? 272 00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,424 Hey, stop looking up my can. 273 00:23:43,507 --> 00:23:45,384 Sorry. 274 00:23:53,559 --> 00:23:55,436 Checking in? 275 00:23:55,519 --> 00:23:57,688 What the hell is all that? 276 00:23:59,607 --> 00:24:02,401 Her Royal Highness's matched luggage! 277 00:24:02,485 --> 00:24:04,153 What? 278 00:24:04,236 --> 00:24:06,655 Her Royal Highness's matched luggage. 279 00:24:07,114 --> 00:24:11,744 Oh, matched luggage, huh? What's she think this is, a Princess Cruise? 280 00:24:11,827 --> 00:24:14,121 - Ow! - She wouldn't go without it. 281 00:24:14,205 --> 00:24:16,082 Oh, yeah? 282 00:24:16,165 --> 00:24:18,042 Ah! 283 00:24:19,585 --> 00:24:23,547 Now hear this! The minute we get outta here the first thing we do is... 284 00:24:23,631 --> 00:24:25,716 ... dump the matched luggage! 285 00:24:26,592 --> 00:24:28,677 Who was that? 286 00:24:29,011 --> 00:24:31,931 Now you hear this, whoever you are. 287 00:24:32,014 --> 00:24:34,517 You will not touch that luggage. 288 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,394 And, furthermore, I want this pigsty cleaned up. 289 00:24:37,478 --> 00:24:40,773 I will not be rescued in such filth. 290 00:24:40,856 --> 00:24:44,276 Listen! On this ship, I don't take orders, I give 'em. 291 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:47,154 This is my dreamboat, sweetheart. 292 00:24:47,238 --> 00:24:49,990 - Sweetheart? - Uh-oh. 293 00:24:50,866 --> 00:24:53,244 How dare you speak to me that way! 294 00:24:53,327 --> 00:24:56,622 You will address me as "Your Royal Highness". 295 00:24:56,705 --> 00:25:02,628 I am Princess Vespa. Daughter of Roland, King of the Druids. 296 00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:06,924 That's all we needed. 297 00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:09,510 A Druish princess. 298 00:25:11,804 --> 00:25:14,306 Funny, she doesn't look Druish. 299 00:25:51,135 --> 00:25:55,306 Now we will show her who is in charge of this galaxy. 300 00:25:55,598 --> 00:25:57,057 Hold it! 301 00:25:57,141 --> 00:25:59,643 I'll handle this personally. 302 00:26:00,728 --> 00:26:02,813 Jawohl, Lord Helmet. 303 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:08,027 So, Princess Vespa, 304 00:26:08,110 --> 00:26:11,822 you thought you could outwit the forces of Planet Spaceball. 305 00:26:12,490 --> 00:26:14,617 Well, you were wrong. 306 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:19,497 You are now our prisoner. And you will be held hostage until such time 307 00:26:19,580 --> 00:26:23,334 as all of the air is transferred from your planet 308 00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,503 to ours. 309 00:26:33,761 --> 00:26:36,055 She's not in there! 310 00:26:36,847 --> 00:26:41,435 Radar repaired, sir. We're picking up the outline of a... Winnebago. 311 00:26:41,519 --> 00:26:43,395 Winnebago? 312 00:26:43,479 --> 00:26:45,564 Lone Starr. 313 00:26:46,524 --> 00:26:48,609 Lone Starr... 314 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:58,411 - Uh-oh, here comes the Badyear blimp. - We'd better get outta here in a hurry. 315 00:26:58,494 --> 00:27:02,123 - Switch to secret hyper jets. - Switching to secret hyper jets. 316 00:27:02,206 --> 00:27:05,960 Buckle up back there, we're going into... hyperactive. 317 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:16,804 We're closing in on them, sir. Soon Lone Starr will be ours. 318 00:27:16,887 --> 00:27:19,557 Good. Prepare to attack. 319 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,100 Prepare to attack! 320 00:27:21,183 --> 00:27:23,644 On the count of three. 321 00:27:23,727 --> 00:27:25,438 One... 322 00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:27,481 two... 323 00:27:27,565 --> 00:27:30,192 ...late! What happened? Where are they? 324 00:27:30,276 --> 00:27:32,736 I don't know, sir. They must have hyper jets. 325 00:27:32,820 --> 00:27:35,906 - And what have we got? A Cuisinart? - No, sir. 326 00:27:35,990 --> 00:27:38,284 - Well, find them! Catch them! - Yes, sir! 327 00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:41,787 - Prepare ship for light speed. - No, no, light speed is too slow. 328 00:27:41,871 --> 00:27:45,166 - Light speed too slow? - Yes. We're gonna have to go right to... 329 00:27:45,249 --> 00:27:48,210 ...ludicrous speed. - Ludicrous speed? 330 00:27:48,294 --> 00:27:51,380 We've never gone that fast. Maybe the ship can't take it. 331 00:27:51,464 --> 00:27:54,800 What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken? 332 00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:58,679 Prepare ship... 333 00:27:58,763 --> 00:28:01,599 Prepare ship for ludicrous speed. 334 00:28:01,682 --> 00:28:04,852 Fasten all seat belts. Seal all entrances and exits. 335 00:28:04,935 --> 00:28:08,564 Close all shops in the mall. Cancel the three-ring circus. 336 00:28:08,647 --> 00:28:13,360 - Secure all animals in the zoo... - Shut up, you petty excuse for an officer! 337 00:28:14,195 --> 00:28:17,448 Now hear this. Ludicrous speed! 338 00:28:17,531 --> 00:28:20,451 - Sir, hadn't you better buckle up? - Oh, buckle this! 339 00:28:20,534 --> 00:28:23,245 Ludicrous speed! Go! 340 00:28:46,268 --> 00:28:48,896 What have I done? 341 00:28:50,106 --> 00:28:54,485 My brains... are going into my feet. 342 00:29:05,830 --> 00:29:08,124 What the hell was that? 343 00:29:08,624 --> 00:29:10,709 Spaceball One. 344 00:29:11,377 --> 00:29:13,671 They've gone to plaid! 345 00:29:15,464 --> 00:29:19,009 We passed them! Stop this thing! 346 00:29:19,468 --> 00:29:22,138 We can't stop. It's too dangerous. 347 00:29:22,221 --> 00:29:24,390 We've got to slow down first. 348 00:29:25,141 --> 00:29:26,600 Bullshit! 349 00:29:26,684 --> 00:29:30,062 Just stop this thing! I order you! 350 00:29:30,146 --> 00:29:33,023 Stop! 351 00:29:41,449 --> 00:29:43,534 Oh! 352 00:29:47,955 --> 00:29:50,458 Here, sir, here. Let me help you, sir. 353 00:29:52,460 --> 00:29:55,838 - Are you all right, sir? - Fine. How have you been? 354 00:29:55,921 --> 00:29:57,590 - Fine, sir. - Good. 355 00:29:57,673 --> 00:30:00,176 - Good thing you were wearing a helmet. - Yeah. 356 00:30:00,259 --> 00:30:02,344 What shall we do now, sir? 357 00:30:02,428 --> 00:30:05,514 - Well... Are we stopped? - We're stopped, sir. 358 00:30:05,598 --> 00:30:07,683 Good. 359 00:30:07,767 --> 00:30:11,437 - Why don't we take a five-minute break? - Very good, sir. 360 00:30:12,021 --> 00:30:14,106 Smoke if you got 'em. 361 00:30:17,026 --> 00:30:21,072 - Take her out of hyperactive. - Takin' her out of hyperactive. 362 00:30:22,198 --> 00:30:24,742 Congrats, boss. We did it. 363 00:30:24,825 --> 00:30:26,911 They overshot us by a week. 364 00:30:26,994 --> 00:30:30,956 - OK. Set a course for Druidia. - Setting a course for Drui-i-i-i... 365 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,626 - What's that? - I don't know. We're losin' power. 366 00:30:33,709 --> 00:30:35,795 We're out of gas! 367 00:30:35,878 --> 00:30:39,507 - Must have burned it up in hyper. - Should've put more than $5 worth in! 368 00:30:39,590 --> 00:30:43,385 OK, we'll have to set her down. Prepare for an emergency landing. 369 00:30:43,469 --> 00:30:47,181 - Quick, give me a reading. - "Our Father, who art in heaven..." 370 00:30:47,264 --> 00:30:48,933 Stop that! 371 00:30:49,141 --> 00:30:51,894 Keep your seat belts on. You OK, Princess? 372 00:30:54,313 --> 00:30:57,399 No, you idiot! Where'd you learn how to fly? 373 00:30:57,483 --> 00:30:59,860 OK, Eagle Five coming in. 374 00:31:21,173 --> 00:31:24,093 Go left. Right! I mean right! Whoa! 375 00:31:26,929 --> 00:31:28,806 Oh! 376 00:31:35,855 --> 00:31:40,151 - Where are you going? - I am going to tell him off once and for all. 377 00:31:40,860 --> 00:31:43,988 W- w-w-wait! We'll need him to get us out of here. 378 00:31:44,071 --> 00:31:48,784 Called me an idiot? I'm goin' back there and explain a few things to her. 379 00:31:48,868 --> 00:31:52,621 Besides, he's got a sexy voice. He might be cute. 380 00:31:53,456 --> 00:31:57,668 - You haven't seen what she looks like. - I have. All princesses look the same. 381 00:31:57,752 --> 00:32:01,130 Cute! I know these space bums. They're all alike. 382 00:32:01,213 --> 00:32:04,008 - Fat, ugly... - Bucktoothed, knock-kneed... 383 00:32:04,091 --> 00:32:07,344 ...beer-swilling pigs. ...horse-faced space dogs. 384 00:32:07,428 --> 00:32:10,556 Normally I'd... Ooh! That's gonna leave a mark. 385 00:32:11,140 --> 00:32:12,892 Now, listen, you... 386 00:32:14,643 --> 00:32:19,899 You listen. On this ship you're to refer to me as "idiot", not "you Captain". 387 00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:23,611 - I mean... You know what I mean. - And you will not call me "you". 388 00:32:23,778 --> 00:32:26,238 You will never address me as "you". 389 00:32:26,322 --> 00:32:28,991 You will call me "Your Royal Highness"! 390 00:32:29,075 --> 00:32:31,577 You are a royal pain in the... 391 00:32:31,660 --> 00:32:33,746 - Whoa! Hold it. Time. - What? 392 00:32:33,829 --> 00:32:38,042 May I make a suggestion? Any minute the Spaceballs will make a U-turn, 393 00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:40,461 head back this way and make us all dead. 394 00:32:40,544 --> 00:32:42,421 He's right. Let's go. 395 00:32:42,505 --> 00:32:44,632 Wait. My things. 396 00:32:44,715 --> 00:32:47,343 Now, listen, you royal... 397 00:32:47,426 --> 00:32:48,886 ...Highness. 398 00:32:48,969 --> 00:32:52,556 Take only what you need to survive. 399 00:33:12,993 --> 00:33:17,164 Please, slow down. I'm getting sand up my gears. 400 00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:22,795 Gee, I hope she didn't forget anything. 401 00:33:27,591 --> 00:33:31,804 All right, wait a minute, Barf. Put it down. 402 00:33:32,179 --> 00:33:34,682 - What the hell's in this thing? - I dunno. 403 00:33:38,811 --> 00:33:43,107 What's this? I said take only what you need to survive. 404 00:33:43,482 --> 00:33:45,985 It's my industrial-strength hair dryer. 405 00:33:46,068 --> 00:33:48,529 And I can't live without it! 406 00:33:49,739 --> 00:33:54,243 OK, Princess, that's it. The fairy tale is over. 407 00:33:54,493 --> 00:33:56,787 Welcome to real life. 408 00:33:56,871 --> 00:34:00,833 You want this hot-air machine, you carry it. 409 00:34:01,083 --> 00:34:02,960 You pick that up. 410 00:34:03,753 --> 00:34:05,921 You pick that up. 411 00:34:06,005 --> 00:34:09,258 How dare you, you insolent peasant! 412 00:34:09,341 --> 00:34:12,470 Nobody talks to me that way. Nobody! 413 00:34:12,553 --> 00:34:14,221 Nobody! 414 00:34:14,305 --> 00:34:17,433 Well, what have we got here? Will you look at her? 415 00:34:17,892 --> 00:34:21,687 Those flashing eyes, those flushed cheeks, those trembling lips. 416 00:34:21,771 --> 00:34:24,064 You know something, Princess? 417 00:34:24,148 --> 00:34:26,650 You are ugly when you're angry. 418 00:34:26,734 --> 00:34:28,903 - Uh-oh. - That's it. 419 00:34:28,986 --> 00:34:32,239 - You and your dog are... - Please, please, 420 00:34:32,323 --> 00:34:34,658 total humans, droids, if I may. 421 00:34:34,742 --> 00:34:38,037 It'll be dark soon, so I suggest we find a place to camp. 422 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,206 Come, darling. 423 00:34:45,961 --> 00:34:50,424 - See? It's lighter. - Oh, yeah. This is the best. 424 00:34:51,717 --> 00:34:54,428 I could have carried two or three of these. 425 00:34:56,305 --> 00:34:58,390 Have you found them yet? 426 00:34:58,474 --> 00:35:01,143 No, Lord Helmet. They're still not on the scanner. 427 00:35:01,227 --> 00:35:03,312 Well, keep looking for them. 428 00:35:12,488 --> 00:35:14,782 Pardon me, sir. I have an idea. 429 00:35:15,032 --> 00:35:18,828 Corporal, get me the video cassette of Spaceballs: The Movie. 430 00:35:18,911 --> 00:35:20,996 Yes, sir. 431 00:35:23,332 --> 00:35:26,710 The Producers, Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein... 432 00:35:26,877 --> 00:35:30,548 - Colonel Sandurz, may I speak with you? - Yes, sir. 433 00:35:30,631 --> 00:35:34,176 How can there be a cassette of the movie? We're still making it! 434 00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:37,930 True, sir. But there's been a breakthrough in home-video marketing. 435 00:35:38,013 --> 00:35:40,683 - There has? - Yes. Instant cassettes. 436 00:35:40,766 --> 00:35:43,978 They're out in stores before the movie is finished. 437 00:35:44,061 --> 00:35:46,313 - Nah! - Here it is, sir. 438 00:35:46,939 --> 00:35:50,568 - Spaceballs. - Good work, Corporal. Punch it up. 439 00:35:54,780 --> 00:35:57,908 - Prepare to fast-forward. - Preparing to fast-forward. 440 00:35:57,992 --> 00:36:00,494 - Fast-forward! - Fast-forwarding, sir. 441 00:36:18,929 --> 00:36:23,851 No, no, no, go past this. Past this part. In fact, never play this again. 442 00:36:26,896 --> 00:36:28,981 Try here. Stop. 443 00:36:39,533 --> 00:36:42,870 What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie? 444 00:36:42,953 --> 00:36:47,458 Now. You're looking at now. Everything that happens now is happening now. 445 00:36:47,541 --> 00:36:49,210 - And then? - We passed then. 446 00:36:49,293 --> 00:36:51,587 - When? - Just now. We're at now, now. 447 00:36:51,670 --> 00:36:52,963 - Go back to then. - When? 448 00:36:53,047 --> 00:36:53,881 - Now. - Now? 449 00:36:53,964 --> 00:36:55,466 - Now! - I can't. We missed it. 450 00:36:55,549 --> 00:36:57,468 - When? - Just now. 451 00:36:57,551 --> 00:37:00,513 - When will then be now? - Soon. 452 00:37:01,388 --> 00:37:04,475 - How soon? - Sir, we've identified their location. 453 00:37:04,558 --> 00:37:06,060 - Where? - The moon of Vega. 454 00:37:06,143 --> 00:37:08,437 - Prepare for our arrival. - When? 455 00:37:08,521 --> 00:37:11,440 - 1900 hours. - By tomorrow they'll be our prisoners. 456 00:37:11,524 --> 00:37:13,484 Who?! 457 00:37:30,793 --> 00:37:34,880 - No, thank you. I'm perfectly all right. - Take it. It's freezing. 458 00:37:34,964 --> 00:37:37,049 If you insist. 459 00:37:44,306 --> 00:37:47,810 - Won't you be cold? - Nah, cold never bothers me. 460 00:37:53,274 --> 00:37:56,110 I can't seem to find Druidia. 461 00:37:56,193 --> 00:37:57,862 It's right there. 462 00:37:57,945 --> 00:38:02,199 - Where? - There. It's that bright blue one. See? 463 00:38:03,617 --> 00:38:06,537 Oh, yeah, but it's so far a... 464 00:38:07,204 --> 00:38:09,165 ...away. 465 00:38:09,331 --> 00:38:11,625 Don't worry. I'll get you there. 466 00:38:12,626 --> 00:38:14,962 - Which one's yours? - Who knows? 467 00:38:15,045 --> 00:38:19,216 - You don't know where you're from? - No. I was found outside a monastery. 468 00:38:19,300 --> 00:38:23,262 - Monastery? Where? - Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy. 469 00:38:23,929 --> 00:38:26,432 Didn't the monks say who your parents were? 470 00:38:26,515 --> 00:38:29,310 They couldn't. They took a vow of silence. 471 00:38:29,393 --> 00:38:32,104 All I got was this. It was around my neck. 472 00:38:32,188 --> 00:38:33,856 - What is it? - I don't know. 473 00:38:33,939 --> 00:38:38,736 I've taken it to every wise man in the universe. Nobody can tell me what it says. 474 00:38:39,945 --> 00:38:42,239 It's beautiful. 475 00:38:42,823 --> 00:38:44,492 You know, I... 476 00:38:47,203 --> 00:38:49,288 It's beautiful. 477 00:38:53,250 --> 00:38:56,045 So, how come you ran away from your wedding? 478 00:38:57,129 --> 00:39:01,425 Well, if you must know, I wasn't in love with the groom. 479 00:39:01,509 --> 00:39:04,428 - Why were you gonna marry him? - Because! 480 00:39:04,512 --> 00:39:07,848 I'm a princess and I have to marry a prince. 481 00:39:07,932 --> 00:39:11,936 Ah! And he doesn't do it for you, huh? 482 00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:15,064 No, he doesn't do it for me. 483 00:39:19,110 --> 00:39:21,195 I really must go back. 484 00:39:22,321 --> 00:39:24,782 I shouldn't have run away. 485 00:39:25,116 --> 00:39:30,788 I realise now that love is one luxury a princess cannot afford. 486 00:39:30,871 --> 00:39:33,040 You're probably right. 487 00:39:33,124 --> 00:39:37,002 I know now that I must learn to live without... love. 488 00:39:37,086 --> 00:39:38,754 I guess so. 489 00:39:38,838 --> 00:39:42,758 - Besides, love isn't that important. - Nah, it never was. 490 00:39:42,842 --> 00:39:46,303 I could be perfectly happy the rest of my life without... 491 00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:49,306 ...Iove. 492 00:39:49,390 --> 00:39:51,517 Sure you could. 493 00:39:52,726 --> 00:39:55,062 Without physical contact. 494 00:39:55,938 --> 00:39:57,523 Yeah. 495 00:39:57,648 --> 00:40:00,067 Without being held. 496 00:40:00,151 --> 00:40:02,027 Yeah. 497 00:40:02,903 --> 00:40:05,197 Or kissed. 498 00:40:11,787 --> 00:40:13,873 Abandon ship! Abandon ship! 499 00:40:13,956 --> 00:40:16,250 Women and mogs first! 500 00:40:16,917 --> 00:40:19,128 We'll have none of that, mister. 501 00:40:19,211 --> 00:40:22,715 - How far did he get? What'd he touch? - Nothing happened. 502 00:40:22,798 --> 00:40:26,051 - What the hell was that noise? - That was my virgin alarm. 503 00:40:26,135 --> 00:40:28,971 It's programmed to go off before you do. 504 00:40:29,054 --> 00:40:32,391 You get back to bed, miss. And as for you, sex fiend... 505 00:40:32,475 --> 00:40:37,021 All right, let's all just get some sleep. We gotta get moving before dawn. 506 00:40:37,104 --> 00:40:40,024 - Why so early? - Because we're in the middle of a desert. 507 00:40:40,107 --> 00:40:44,528 And we aren't gonna get very far once that blazing sun gets overhead. 508 00:40:48,866 --> 00:40:50,910 Nice dissolve. 509 00:41:00,086 --> 00:41:02,171 Water. Water. 510 00:41:03,005 --> 00:41:04,882 Water. 511 00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:14,975 Oil. Oil. 512 00:41:16,685 --> 00:41:19,814 Room service. Room service. 513 00:41:25,111 --> 00:41:27,405 Chief, I'm dead. 514 00:41:29,407 --> 00:41:31,909 I can't... I can't go any further. 515 00:41:33,661 --> 00:41:36,914 - I can't go any further. - Come on, Barf, old buddy. 516 00:41:36,997 --> 00:41:39,083 - No! - Just one more dune to go. 517 00:41:39,166 --> 00:41:42,044 No! You said that three dunes ago. 518 00:41:42,962 --> 00:41:45,047 I got no more left. 519 00:41:46,132 --> 00:41:48,467 Oh, waiter. Check, please. 520 00:41:51,220 --> 00:41:53,139 Must go on. 521 00:41:53,222 --> 00:41:55,307 Must go on! 522 00:41:56,100 --> 00:41:58,185 Must go on... 523 00:41:59,145 --> 00:42:01,021 Who am I kidding? 524 00:42:38,642 --> 00:42:41,979 Dink, dink, dink. Dink, dink, dink. 525 00:42:46,942 --> 00:42:50,488 # Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink. Dink-dink. 526 00:43:01,457 --> 00:43:05,086 - Oh. Thanks, little guy. - Dink, dink! 527 00:43:05,252 --> 00:43:09,507 - Oh, thank you. - Da-dink-dink. 528 00:43:09,590 --> 00:43:11,801 Did I miss something? 529 00:43:11,884 --> 00:43:14,178 When did we get to Disneyland? 530 00:43:31,946 --> 00:43:36,409 - I don't see them, Sandurz. - I've sent the troops on ahead, sir. 531 00:43:36,492 --> 00:43:39,412 - Good. Get moving. - Driver, prepare to move out. 532 00:43:39,495 --> 00:43:41,956 What are you preparing? Just go! 533 00:43:42,039 --> 00:43:43,290 - Just go. - Yes, sir. 534 00:43:43,374 --> 00:43:45,459 Sir, shouldn't you sit down? 535 00:44:02,476 --> 00:44:04,145 Dink, dink. 536 00:44:04,228 --> 00:44:08,023 - What are they saying? - They want us to go with them. 537 00:44:17,825 --> 00:44:22,079 - What is this place? - It looks like the Temple of Doom. 538 00:44:22,163 --> 00:44:24,373 Well, it ain't Temple Beth Israel. 539 00:44:24,665 --> 00:44:27,626 Come on. I think we better follow 'em. 540 00:44:39,346 --> 00:44:41,640 Oh-oh, I think we woke it up. 541 00:44:42,558 --> 00:44:45,811 - Goodbye. Let me know how it turns out. - Come back, Dot! 542 00:44:45,895 --> 00:44:49,065 - Come on, we gotta keep goin'. - We need you. 543 00:44:55,029 --> 00:44:58,616 - What's gonna happen now? - Don't ask. Maybe it won't. 544 00:44:58,699 --> 00:45:02,036 - What if it does? I'm all for leaving! - Barf, no! 545 00:45:02,119 --> 00:45:05,372 I think we should get outta here now while the going's good! 546 00:45:05,456 --> 00:45:08,125 Silence! 547 00:45:08,209 --> 00:45:13,881 Who dares enter the sacred and awesome presence of the everlasting know-it-all, 548 00:45:13,964 --> 00:45:16,050 Yogurt? 549 00:45:16,383 --> 00:45:18,260 Yogurt? 550 00:45:27,645 --> 00:45:32,149 - You heard of me? - Heard of you? Who hasn't heard of you? 551 00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:34,110 Yogurt, the wise. 552 00:45:34,193 --> 00:45:37,405 - Yogurt, the all-powerful! - Yogurt, the magnificent. 553 00:45:37,822 --> 00:45:41,992 Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt. 554 00:45:42,076 --> 00:45:44,161 - But you're the one... - Yes! 555 00:45:44,245 --> 00:45:47,415 I am the keeper of a greater magic. 556 00:45:47,498 --> 00:45:50,167 A power known throughout the universe 557 00:45:50,251 --> 00:45:51,710 - as the... - Force? 558 00:45:51,794 --> 00:45:54,422 No. The Schwartz. 559 00:45:54,755 --> 00:45:56,841 The Schwartz. 560 00:45:56,966 --> 00:45:58,759 Yes. 561 00:45:58,843 --> 00:46:00,719 The Schwartz. 562 00:46:04,056 --> 00:46:08,310 But, Yogurt, what is this place? What is it that you do here? 563 00:46:08,394 --> 00:46:12,022 - Merchandising. - Merchandising. What's that? 564 00:46:12,106 --> 00:46:14,525 Merchandising. Come, I'll show you. 565 00:46:14,608 --> 00:46:16,277 Open up the store. 566 00:46:20,489 --> 00:46:23,909 Come! Walk this way! Take a look. 567 00:46:23,993 --> 00:46:27,580 We put the picture's name on everything! 568 00:46:27,663 --> 00:46:30,374 Merchandising! Merchandising! 569 00:46:30,458 --> 00:46:33,169 Where the real money from the movie is made. 570 00:46:33,252 --> 00:46:37,006 Spaceballs - the T-shirt. Spaceballs - the colouring book. 571 00:46:37,089 --> 00:46:41,510 Spaceballs - the lunchbox. Spaceballs - the breakfast cereal. 572 00:46:41,594 --> 00:46:43,679 Spaceballs - the flame thrower! 573 00:46:43,763 --> 00:46:46,974 The kids love this one. 574 00:46:47,057 --> 00:46:50,644 Last, but not least. Spaceballs - the doll. 575 00:46:50,728 --> 00:46:52,646 Me. 576 00:46:52,730 --> 00:46:54,940 May the Schwartz be with you. 577 00:46:55,775 --> 00:46:58,694 Adorable. 578 00:47:14,293 --> 00:47:16,712 - President Skroob. - What is it? 579 00:47:16,796 --> 00:47:20,424 I have an urgent message from Lord Helmet. He's lost the princess. 580 00:47:20,508 --> 00:47:22,843 - Where? - Somewhere in the sands of Vega. 581 00:47:22,927 --> 00:47:26,722 Tell them to comb the desert, do you hear me? Comb the desert! 582 00:47:26,806 --> 00:47:28,891 Yes, sir. 583 00:47:33,896 --> 00:47:35,981 - Sir? - What? 584 00:47:37,441 --> 00:47:40,986 - Are we being too literal? - No, you fool, we're following orders. 585 00:47:41,070 --> 00:47:44,407 We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it. 586 00:47:44,782 --> 00:47:47,159 Found anything yet? 587 00:47:47,243 --> 00:47:49,328 Nothing yet, sir. 588 00:47:50,871 --> 00:47:53,290 How about you? 589 00:47:53,374 --> 00:47:55,459 Not a thing, sir. 590 00:47:58,045 --> 00:48:00,172 What about you guys? 591 00:48:00,256 --> 00:48:02,341 We ain't found shit! 592 00:48:05,386 --> 00:48:09,098 It's a big mystery. None of the wise men could tell me what it means. 593 00:48:09,181 --> 00:48:13,436 Wise men, pshaw. Wise guys, you mean. What do they know? 594 00:48:13,519 --> 00:48:15,604 Here, let me take a look. 595 00:48:17,940 --> 00:48:20,151 Khut khut khudit. 596 00:48:20,234 --> 00:48:24,530 M- mookh mookh mooo-kh-khut. 597 00:48:24,613 --> 00:48:27,950 - You can read it! - No, I was just clearing my throat. 598 00:48:28,033 --> 00:48:30,119 Here, let me take a... 599 00:48:30,828 --> 00:48:33,414 Ah. Ooh, yes. 600 00:48:33,497 --> 00:48:35,875 Yes, yes, of course! 601 00:48:35,958 --> 00:48:37,626 - You understand it? - Yes. 602 00:48:37,710 --> 00:48:40,421 - What's it say? - I cannot tell you that now. 603 00:48:40,504 --> 00:48:45,301 - It'll be revealed to you at the proper time. - Great. 604 00:48:45,384 --> 00:48:48,679 Don't be disappointed. Back to your Schwartz training. 605 00:48:48,763 --> 00:48:52,391 Here, take the ring. Point it at that big statue. 606 00:48:52,475 --> 00:48:57,563 OK, but I still don't understand how I'm gonna lift a big statue with this little ring. 607 00:48:57,646 --> 00:49:02,068 Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz! 608 00:49:02,151 --> 00:49:04,904 Come on, concentrate. Here we go. 609 00:49:06,322 --> 00:49:08,032 Concentrate. 610 00:49:21,003 --> 00:49:23,714 Lone Starr, you're doing it! 611 00:49:23,798 --> 00:49:25,466 You're doing it! 612 00:49:26,300 --> 00:49:28,761 I can't believe it. The Schwartz is working! 613 00:49:28,844 --> 00:49:30,513 Yes! Yes! 614 00:49:30,596 --> 00:49:32,848 Hey, boss, how'd you do that? 615 00:49:32,932 --> 00:49:35,392 Ow! Whoa! Whoa! 616 00:49:37,478 --> 00:49:40,106 Give me the ring. Give me the ring, quick! 617 00:49:40,981 --> 00:49:45,027 Upsee-dahzee, upsee-mahzee, upsy-daisy! 618 00:49:45,820 --> 00:49:49,073 Whoa! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! 619 00:49:49,448 --> 00:49:52,159 - Eugh. - Sorry, Barf. 620 00:49:58,290 --> 00:50:00,376 Keep searching. 621 00:50:01,836 --> 00:50:07,049 - It's no use. We've searched everywhere. - Wait. I feel the presence of... 622 00:50:07,133 --> 00:50:08,592 the Schwartz! 623 00:50:08,676 --> 00:50:10,594 - The Schwartz? - Yes. 624 00:50:10,678 --> 00:50:14,807 It's coming from somewhere... down... 625 00:50:14,890 --> 00:50:16,767 there! 626 00:50:18,436 --> 00:50:21,564 You're right, sir. There's a secret entrance here. 627 00:50:21,647 --> 00:50:24,650 And look at this insignia. It's a "Y". 628 00:50:25,526 --> 00:50:27,945 Yogurt! Yogurt! 629 00:50:28,028 --> 00:50:31,741 I hate yogurt! Even with strawberries. 630 00:50:31,824 --> 00:50:34,785 - I'll call for the attack squad. - No, we can't go in. 631 00:50:34,869 --> 00:50:37,580 Yogurt has the Schwartz. It's too powerful. 632 00:50:37,663 --> 00:50:40,291 But, sir, don't you have the Schwartz, too? 633 00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:44,003 He got the upside, I got the downside. Each Schwartz has two sides. 634 00:50:44,086 --> 00:50:46,881 Then how are we gonna go in there and get her? 635 00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:50,801 We will not go in there. 636 00:50:50,885 --> 00:50:54,221 She will come out to us. 637 00:51:05,441 --> 00:51:09,403 Vespa. Vespa, my child. 638 00:51:09,487 --> 00:51:11,363 Where are you? 639 00:51:11,447 --> 00:51:12,907 Daddy? 640 00:51:12,990 --> 00:51:17,078 Vespa, it's your father, King Roland. 641 00:51:17,161 --> 00:51:20,331 - Come to me. - Daddy? 642 00:51:20,414 --> 00:51:23,375 I hear you. I hear you. Where are you? 643 00:51:23,459 --> 00:51:25,544 Follow my voice. 644 00:51:26,712 --> 00:51:28,881 Come to me. 645 00:51:29,548 --> 00:51:31,634 Come to me. 646 00:51:33,928 --> 00:51:35,679 Vespa, where are you going? 647 00:51:35,763 --> 00:51:38,808 Vespa, come to me. 648 00:51:42,812 --> 00:51:45,689 Daddy! Is it really you? 649 00:51:45,773 --> 00:51:49,777 Yes, my dear. I guarantee it. 650 00:51:50,403 --> 00:51:52,488 Would I lie? 651 00:51:54,573 --> 00:51:56,659 Daddy! 652 00:51:56,742 --> 00:51:58,619 No, Vespa, don't! 653 00:51:58,702 --> 00:52:01,789 Argh! No. Oh... 654 00:52:01,872 --> 00:52:03,958 Fooled you. 655 00:52:06,961 --> 00:52:11,173 Take them both aboard and put the princess in my quarters. 656 00:52:11,257 --> 00:52:13,342 Now she is mine. 657 00:52:13,426 --> 00:52:15,094 What? 658 00:52:15,177 --> 00:52:17,263 They've taken the princess! 659 00:52:26,731 --> 00:52:28,607 Spaceballs. Too late. 660 00:52:28,899 --> 00:52:31,402 Don't worry, boss. We'll get her back. 661 00:52:31,986 --> 00:52:33,863 Yeah. 662 00:52:35,114 --> 00:52:37,658 - Thanks for the gas, Yogurt. - You're welcome. 663 00:52:37,742 --> 00:52:41,287 And here. Just in case you get hungry. 664 00:52:42,079 --> 00:52:43,956 - A fortune cookie? - Yes. 665 00:52:44,039 --> 00:52:48,043 Remember: Open it before you eat it. 666 00:52:48,127 --> 00:52:50,504 Thanks. Well, we better get going. 667 00:52:50,588 --> 00:52:53,257 I wonder... Will we ever see each other again? 668 00:52:53,340 --> 00:52:57,470 Who knows? God willing we'll all meet again in Spaceballs II: 669 00:52:57,553 --> 00:52:59,638 The Search For More Money. 670 00:53:00,389 --> 00:53:03,309 - Goodbye, Lone Starr. - Goodbye, Yogurt. 671 00:53:04,602 --> 00:53:07,021 The ring of the Schwartz! 672 00:53:07,104 --> 00:53:10,524 - No, no, I can't take this. - Take it, take it. 673 00:53:10,775 --> 00:53:14,153 - You might need it. - Thanks. 674 00:53:14,236 --> 00:53:16,322 I'll never forget you. 675 00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:19,992 - Wish me luck. - Dink, dink. 676 00:53:41,764 --> 00:53:47,228 So, Princess Vespa, at last I have you in my clutches 677 00:53:47,311 --> 00:53:51,148 to have my way with you the way I want to. 678 00:53:51,232 --> 00:53:55,319 No! No! Leave me alone. No, you are mine. 679 00:53:55,403 --> 00:53:58,322 Not so fast. Lone Starr! 680 00:53:58,406 --> 00:54:02,201 Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. 681 00:54:02,284 --> 00:54:04,703 Now you are going to die. Psst! 682 00:54:04,787 --> 00:54:07,081 Oh, oh! Oh! 683 00:54:07,164 --> 00:54:11,877 What'd you do to him? The same thing I'll do to you. Oh! 684 00:54:11,961 --> 00:54:14,171 And you, too. Oh! Argh! 685 00:54:14,255 --> 00:54:18,259 Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. 686 00:54:18,342 --> 00:54:21,220 Oh, no, I hate you. Leave me alone. 687 00:54:21,303 --> 00:54:25,599 Yet I find you strangely attractive. Of course you do. 688 00:54:25,683 --> 00:54:29,687 Druish princesses are often attracted to money and power. 689 00:54:29,770 --> 00:54:32,773 And I have both. And you know it. 690 00:54:32,857 --> 00:54:36,944 Oh, leave me alone. No, kiss me! No! No! Yes! No! 691 00:54:37,027 --> 00:54:42,408 No! Yes! No! Yes! Ah, oh, ah, oh... 692 00:54:42,491 --> 00:54:45,786 Oh, your helmet is so big. 693 00:54:46,287 --> 00:54:47,955 - Lord Helmet. - What? 694 00:54:48,038 --> 00:54:51,709 - You're needed on the bridge, sir. - Knock on my door! Knock next time! 695 00:54:51,792 --> 00:54:53,878 - Yes, sir. - Did you see anything? 696 00:54:53,961 --> 00:54:56,338 No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls. 697 00:54:56,422 --> 00:54:58,299 Good. 698 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,069 - President Skroob. - Agh! 699 00:55:18,152 --> 00:55:21,947 I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall. 700 00:55:22,031 --> 00:55:26,160 Sorry, sir, but it's very important. The princess is in your office 701 00:55:26,243 --> 00:55:28,621 and Lord Helmet is awaiting you there. 702 00:55:28,704 --> 00:55:32,750 - All right, all right. I'll be right there. - Yes, sir. 703 00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:36,837 Ooh. 704 00:55:37,588 --> 00:55:39,673 Argh, argh! 705 00:55:44,386 --> 00:55:48,808 Helmet, you fiend! What's going on? What are you doing to my daughter? 706 00:55:48,891 --> 00:55:52,686 Permit me to introduce the brilliant young plastic surgeon, 707 00:55:52,770 --> 00:55:54,647 Dr Phillip Schlotkin. 708 00:55:54,730 --> 00:55:59,652 The greatest nose-job man in the entire universe and Beverly Hills. 709 00:55:59,735 --> 00:56:03,197 - Your Highness. - Nose job? She's already had a nose job. 710 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,366 It was her Sweet-16 present. 711 00:56:05,449 --> 00:56:09,078 No, it's not what you think. It's much, much worse. 712 00:56:09,161 --> 00:56:12,790 If you do not give me the combination to the air shield, 713 00:56:12,873 --> 00:56:15,835 Dr Schlotkin will give your daughter back 714 00:56:15,918 --> 00:56:18,129 her old nose! 715 00:56:18,212 --> 00:56:21,340 No! 716 00:56:22,716 --> 00:56:26,929 - Where did you get that? - All right, I'll tell. I'll tell. 717 00:56:27,012 --> 00:56:30,683 - No, Daddy, no! You mustn't. - You're right, my dear. 718 00:56:30,766 --> 00:56:35,104 I'll miss your new nose, but I will not tell him the combination, no matter what. 719 00:56:35,604 --> 00:56:39,525 Very well. Dr Schlotkin, do your worst. 720 00:56:39,608 --> 00:56:41,694 My pleasure. 721 00:56:44,655 --> 00:56:46,741 No! Wait! Wait! 722 00:56:47,408 --> 00:56:50,035 I'll tell. I'll tell. 723 00:56:50,411 --> 00:56:52,580 I knew it would work. 724 00:56:52,663 --> 00:56:54,957 All right. Give it to me. 725 00:56:56,041 --> 00:56:58,127 The combination is... 726 00:56:59,670 --> 00:57:00,504 One. 727 00:57:00,588 --> 00:57:01,964 - One. - One. 728 00:57:02,047 --> 00:57:02,923 Two. 729 00:57:03,007 --> 00:57:04,175 - Two. - Two. 730 00:57:04,258 --> 00:57:05,009 Three. 731 00:57:05,092 --> 00:57:06,260 - Three. - Three. 732 00:57:06,343 --> 00:57:07,094 Four. 733 00:57:07,178 --> 00:57:08,512 - Four. - Four. 734 00:57:09,638 --> 00:57:10,473 Five. 735 00:57:10,556 --> 00:57:12,057 - Five. - Five. 736 00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:17,521 So the combination is one, two, three, four, five. 737 00:57:18,105 --> 00:57:20,983 That's the stupidest combination I ever heard! 738 00:57:21,067 --> 00:57:23,360 It's what an idiot has on his luggage. 739 00:57:23,444 --> 00:57:25,613 Thank you, Your Highness. 740 00:57:25,696 --> 00:57:28,282 - What did you do? - I turned off the wall. 741 00:57:28,365 --> 00:57:30,826 - No, you turned off the movie. - Wrong button. 742 00:57:30,910 --> 00:57:33,329 - Well, put it back up! - Yes, sir! 743 00:57:33,913 --> 00:57:37,833 You gotta get that thing fixed! We're back, and we have the combination. 744 00:57:37,917 --> 00:57:40,002 - Schlotkin! - What? 745 00:57:40,086 --> 00:57:43,464 We're done. Go back to the golf course and work on your putts. 746 00:57:43,881 --> 00:57:48,803 Let's go, Arnold. Come, Gretchen. Of course I'll still have to bill you for this. 747 00:57:52,139 --> 00:57:55,059 Oh! I bet she gives great helmet. 748 00:57:57,937 --> 00:58:01,190 - Did it work? - Yes, sir. We have the combination. 749 00:58:01,273 --> 00:58:06,153 Great! Now we can take every last breath of fresh air from Planet Druidia. 750 00:58:06,237 --> 00:58:09,365 - What's the combination? - One, two, three, four, five. 751 00:58:09,448 --> 00:58:11,534 - One, two, three, four, five? - Yes. 752 00:58:11,617 --> 00:58:15,413 That's amazing. I've got the same combination on my luggage. 753 00:58:15,496 --> 00:58:19,333 - Prepare Spaceball One for departure. - Yes, sir. 754 00:58:19,417 --> 00:58:22,128 And change the combination on my luggage. 755 00:58:22,753 --> 00:58:24,004 Argh! 756 00:58:28,884 --> 00:58:31,846 There it is. Spaceball City straight ahead. 757 00:58:31,929 --> 00:58:34,014 Good. I'm taking her in. 758 00:58:36,934 --> 00:58:39,228 What the hell is that thing? 759 00:58:39,603 --> 00:58:42,606 Looks like a Winnebago with wings. Jeez. 760 00:58:42,690 --> 00:58:45,276 Hey, you can't park here! 761 00:58:45,359 --> 00:58:48,404 Yeah. Can't you guys read? "No Parking". 762 00:58:52,992 --> 00:58:55,077 That son of a... 763 00:58:58,038 --> 00:59:02,460 All right, hands up. You're under arrest for illegal parking. 764 00:59:02,543 --> 00:59:04,420 Yeah! 765 00:59:26,650 --> 00:59:31,280 Warden Miller. Warden Miller. You're wanted in V17. 766 00:59:31,363 --> 00:59:36,160 Attention, attention. Section C scanners, report. 767 00:59:36,911 --> 00:59:38,370 Nah. 768 00:59:42,333 --> 00:59:46,128 - She's gotta be in one of these cells. - Yeah, but which one? 769 00:59:47,755 --> 00:59:49,340 - No. - No. 770 00:59:49,423 --> 00:59:52,510 # Nobody knows... 771 00:59:52,593 --> 00:59:55,096 - It's coming from here. - That can't be her. 772 00:59:55,179 --> 00:59:57,306 # The trouble I've seen 773 00:59:58,307 --> 01:00:04,730 # Nobody knows but Jesus 774 01:00:05,064 --> 01:00:06,941 It's her! 775 01:00:07,691 --> 01:00:11,737 # Nobody knows 776 01:00:11,821 --> 01:00:14,740 # The trouble I've seen 777 01:00:14,824 --> 01:00:20,454 - She's a bass! - # Glory hallelujah 778 01:00:23,499 --> 01:00:24,542 Ai! 779 01:00:25,626 --> 01:00:28,337 - What do you want? - It's me! 780 01:00:29,213 --> 01:00:31,841 - It's us! - Lone Starr! 781 01:00:31,924 --> 01:00:35,344 - How did you find us? - No time to talk. Come on. 782 01:00:35,428 --> 01:00:37,972 - We gotta move. - Barf, how'd you do it? 783 01:00:40,641 --> 01:00:42,727 Come on. 784 01:00:58,534 --> 01:01:01,787 Hey, those are the guys that stole our uniforms! 785 01:01:01,871 --> 01:01:04,165 And beat the shit out of us, too! 786 01:01:08,836 --> 01:01:10,921 Uh-oh, we got company! 787 01:01:15,426 --> 01:01:17,261 Watch out! 788 01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:21,766 Dammit! That's our only way out. 789 01:01:21,849 --> 01:01:24,143 - We're trapped! - I hate these movies. 790 01:01:27,063 --> 01:01:30,691 - Oh. I'm out of ammo! - Get back! I'll hold 'em off! 791 01:01:32,401 --> 01:01:34,278 I got an idea! 792 01:01:34,361 --> 01:01:36,614 - What are you doing? - What's he doing? 793 01:01:49,877 --> 01:01:52,713 Good work. Uh-oh, more ping pongs! Run for it. 794 01:01:52,797 --> 01:01:54,924 Let's go! 795 01:01:58,094 --> 01:02:00,179 It's closing! 796 01:02:01,597 --> 01:02:04,850 - The door's closing! - Go for broke! 797 01:02:13,234 --> 01:02:15,653 Don't move, or you're dead. Stand up! 798 01:02:15,945 --> 01:02:18,030 Captain, we've got them. 799 01:02:21,700 --> 01:02:24,578 Spectacular stunt, my friends. 800 01:02:24,662 --> 01:02:26,747 But all for naught. 801 01:02:26,831 --> 01:02:28,916 Turn around, please. 802 01:02:29,250 --> 01:02:31,335 Ah, what a pity. 803 01:02:31,585 --> 01:02:33,671 What a pity. 804 01:02:33,796 --> 01:02:38,342 So, Princess, you thought you could outwit the imperious force of... 805 01:02:41,512 --> 01:02:44,724 You idiots! These are not them! 806 01:02:44,807 --> 01:02:47,518 You've captured their stunt doubles! 807 01:02:47,935 --> 01:02:51,230 Search the area. Find them! 808 01:02:51,313 --> 01:02:53,524 Find them! 809 01:02:59,905 --> 01:03:02,408 - Open the door! - I can't. It's fused. 810 01:03:02,491 --> 01:03:04,243 - And this one? - It's locked. 811 01:03:04,326 --> 01:03:06,078 - The keys? - Inside. 812 01:03:06,162 --> 01:03:08,456 - Oh, great! - Duck! 813 01:03:11,083 --> 01:03:15,921 - Here, you hold 'em off. I'll get the door. - I'm not shooting this thing. I hate guns. 814 01:03:17,173 --> 01:03:18,424 Agh! 815 01:03:18,507 --> 01:03:21,427 My hair! He shot my hair. 816 01:03:22,553 --> 01:03:24,638 Son of a bitch! 817 01:03:35,149 --> 01:03:37,234 Holy shit! 818 01:03:41,864 --> 01:03:44,909 - How was that? - Not bad. 819 01:03:44,992 --> 01:03:48,746 - Not bad... for a girl. - Hey, that was pretty good for Rambo. 820 01:03:48,829 --> 01:03:51,040 Let's blow this joint. 821 01:04:02,510 --> 01:04:04,720 President Skroob! 822 01:04:04,804 --> 01:04:07,515 - Salute! - Hail, Skroob! 823 01:04:09,058 --> 01:04:11,852 The ship is too big. If I walk, the movie'll be over. 824 01:04:11,936 --> 01:04:14,271 - Sir. - Yes? Ooh! 825 01:04:14,355 --> 01:04:17,316 Never have that damn thing down in front of me! 826 01:04:17,400 --> 01:04:20,319 How do I know you're not making faces at me under that? 827 01:04:20,403 --> 01:04:23,781 President Skroob. There it is. Planet Druidia. 828 01:04:24,031 --> 01:04:26,117 Ah, Planet Druidia. 829 01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,994 And 10,000 years of fresh air. 830 01:04:29,078 --> 01:04:32,123 - Way he runs things, it won't last 100. - What? 831 01:04:32,206 --> 01:04:36,127 - Preparing ship for metamorphosis, sir. - Good. Get on with it. 832 01:04:36,210 --> 01:04:38,295 Ready, Kafka? 833 01:04:44,427 --> 01:04:46,720 Look, it's Spaceball One. 834 01:04:47,888 --> 01:04:52,268 - They've reached the air shield. - And it's opening. 835 01:04:54,812 --> 01:04:56,897 The ship's too big. 836 01:04:56,981 --> 01:05:00,025 How they gonna get the air out? I don't see any hoses. 837 01:05:05,364 --> 01:05:07,450 What's happening? 838 01:05:09,994 --> 01:05:12,580 The ship... is changing. 839 01:05:26,510 --> 01:05:28,596 Oh, my gosh. 840 01:05:28,679 --> 01:05:31,015 It's not just a spaceship. 841 01:05:31,098 --> 01:05:33,184 It's a Transformer! 842 01:05:43,486 --> 01:05:47,490 - It's changing into... - A gigantic... 843 01:05:47,573 --> 01:05:52,161 - Maid? - With a vacuum cleaner. 844 01:05:52,244 --> 01:05:55,498 So that's how they're gonna get the air out. 845 01:06:16,435 --> 01:06:18,521 Metamorphosis completed, sir. 846 01:06:18,604 --> 01:06:20,940 Spaceball One has now become... 847 01:06:25,194 --> 01:06:26,654 Megamaid. 848 01:06:26,987 --> 01:06:29,490 - Good. - Remarkable. 849 01:06:29,573 --> 01:06:32,118 Now, commence Operation... 850 01:06:32,201 --> 01:06:33,702 Vacu-Suck! 851 01:06:40,376 --> 01:06:43,671 Suck. Suck. Suck! 852 01:06:57,351 --> 01:06:59,854 Goodbye, little Vespa. 853 01:07:00,438 --> 01:07:04,066 My... little... 854 01:07:04,150 --> 01:07:06,485 baby... Vespa. 855 01:07:13,534 --> 01:07:16,495 - The air bag, it's almost full! - What'll we do? 856 01:07:20,291 --> 01:07:23,335 We've gotta act fast. Step one: We reverse the vacuum 857 01:07:23,419 --> 01:07:25,546 and blow the air back on to the planet. 858 01:07:25,629 --> 01:07:29,175 Step two: We destroy that thing. 859 01:07:29,258 --> 01:07:33,137 - But isn't that dangerous? - Extremely. Plus... 860 01:07:34,013 --> 01:07:37,099 I don't know how the hell we're gonna do it. 861 01:07:37,183 --> 01:07:40,561 - What about that ring Yogurt gave you? - Oh, yeah. 862 01:07:40,644 --> 01:07:43,272 - But... - Come on, boss. Give it a shot. 863 01:07:43,355 --> 01:07:45,858 OK. Here goes nothing. 864 01:07:55,284 --> 01:07:57,578 - Look at that. - Wow! 865 01:07:58,287 --> 01:08:00,456 It's... It's working! 866 01:08:01,916 --> 01:08:03,793 Come on, Schwartz. 867 01:08:03,876 --> 01:08:07,838 Come on, Schwartz. Come on, Schwartz! 868 01:08:12,760 --> 01:08:16,013 - Helmet, what's going on? - Sandurz, what's going on? 869 01:08:16,097 --> 01:08:17,973 It's Megamaid. 870 01:08:18,057 --> 01:08:20,226 She's gone from suck to blow. 871 01:08:20,309 --> 01:08:22,520 What? They're getting their air back. 872 01:08:22,603 --> 01:08:24,688 - Do something. - Do something. 873 01:08:24,939 --> 01:08:26,399 Do something! 874 01:08:42,415 --> 01:08:44,500 I'm breathing. 875 01:08:45,126 --> 01:08:47,002 Air. 876 01:08:48,421 --> 01:08:49,922 Air! 877 01:08:58,097 --> 01:09:00,474 - Dim the lights. - Dimming the lights. 878 01:09:01,308 --> 01:09:03,936 - Go to infrared. - Going to infrared. 879 01:09:04,019 --> 01:09:06,188 - Pray to God. - Praying to God. 880 01:09:15,489 --> 01:09:18,242 Careful. Careful. 881 01:09:24,999 --> 01:09:26,876 What are you doing? 882 01:09:26,959 --> 01:09:29,044 Scanning. 883 01:09:35,176 --> 01:09:39,263 There's gotta be a self-destruct mechanism in the central brain area. 884 01:09:43,809 --> 01:09:46,604 - I think we just found it. - Where? 885 01:09:46,687 --> 01:09:48,773 Watch. 886 01:09:52,610 --> 01:09:55,613 Bingo! There it is. 887 01:09:56,197 --> 01:09:58,491 It's right below us. 888 01:09:58,574 --> 01:10:02,036 - Put her in hover, Barf. - Putting her in hover. 889 01:10:02,578 --> 01:10:05,623 - I'm going down there. - He's going down there. 890 01:10:06,248 --> 01:10:08,334 I wouldn't. 891 01:10:49,583 --> 01:10:51,669 What the hell are you doing? 892 01:10:52,628 --> 01:10:55,131 The... Vulcan neck pinch? 893 01:10:55,214 --> 01:10:57,883 No, no, no, stupid. You got it much too high. 894 01:10:57,967 --> 01:11:00,845 It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck. 895 01:11:00,928 --> 01:11:03,639 - Like this? - Yeah! 896 01:11:06,225 --> 01:11:08,310 Thanks. 897 01:11:12,982 --> 01:11:15,943 Handprint identification, please. 898 01:11:16,026 --> 01:11:18,738 Handprint identification, please. 899 01:11:19,113 --> 01:11:21,532 Handprint identification, please. 900 01:11:22,116 --> 01:11:24,201 Handprint... 901 01:11:26,162 --> 01:11:27,830 Thanks again. 902 01:11:35,713 --> 01:11:38,007 Is that you, Mylar? 903 01:11:48,225 --> 01:11:50,352 Who are you? What are you doing? 904 01:11:50,436 --> 01:11:52,313 This. 905 01:11:52,646 --> 01:11:54,523 Argh! 906 01:11:57,026 --> 01:11:58,903 Sweet dreams. 907 01:12:16,212 --> 01:12:19,006 Not so fast, Lone Starr. 908 01:12:19,090 --> 01:12:20,549 Helmet! 909 01:12:20,633 --> 01:12:25,221 So, at last we meet for the first time, for the last time. 910 01:12:27,807 --> 01:12:32,144 Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr. 911 01:12:32,853 --> 01:12:34,313 What? 912 01:12:34,688 --> 01:12:40,528 I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate. 913 01:12:42,947 --> 01:12:46,617 - What's that make us? - Absolutely nothing! 914 01:12:47,118 --> 01:12:50,079 Which is what you are about to become. 915 01:12:50,913 --> 01:12:52,998 Prepare to die. 916 01:13:00,339 --> 01:13:02,216 You have the ring. 917 01:13:02,299 --> 01:13:05,428 And I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. 918 01:13:07,430 --> 01:13:10,891 Now let's see how well you handle it. 919 01:13:30,828 --> 01:13:32,913 Argh! 920 01:13:33,330 --> 01:13:35,624 Um... He did it. 921 01:13:36,083 --> 01:13:38,169 What? 922 01:13:53,976 --> 01:13:57,605 Shit! I hate it when I get my Schwartz twisted. 923 01:13:58,147 --> 01:14:01,275 OK, maybe if I put my leg up on yours, 924 01:14:01,358 --> 01:14:03,444 we could split apart like... 925 01:14:03,527 --> 01:14:05,863 Good, yeah. One, two, three, go! 926 01:14:31,013 --> 01:14:32,890 Ooh! 927 01:14:40,439 --> 01:14:41,690 Aaargh! 928 01:14:41,774 --> 01:14:43,442 Ow! 929 01:14:43,526 --> 01:14:45,611 Oh! 930 01:14:48,572 --> 01:14:52,535 So, Lone Starr, Yogurt has taught you well. 931 01:14:53,744 --> 01:14:57,498 If there's one thing I despise, it is a fair fight. 932 01:14:57,581 --> 01:15:01,794 But if I must, then I must. May the best man win. 933 01:15:02,586 --> 01:15:04,672 Put 'er there. 934 01:15:07,758 --> 01:15:12,346 The ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! 935 01:15:12,430 --> 01:15:16,851 What a goof! What's with you, man? Come on! 936 01:15:16,934 --> 01:15:19,311 You know what? Let me give it back to you. Oh! 937 01:15:19,395 --> 01:15:23,733 Oh, look at that. You fell for that, too. I can't believe it, man. 938 01:15:25,985 --> 01:15:30,906 So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph 939 01:15:30,990 --> 01:15:33,284 because good is dumb. 940 01:15:42,835 --> 01:15:48,257 Very impressive, Lone Starr. Too bad this isn't the Wide Worid Of Sports. 941 01:15:49,175 --> 01:15:52,511 Use the Schwartz, Lone Starr. 942 01:15:52,595 --> 01:15:54,722 I can't. I lost the ring. 943 01:15:54,805 --> 01:15:57,725 Forget the ring. The ring is bupkis. 944 01:15:57,808 --> 01:16:00,519 I found it in a Cracker Jack box. 945 01:16:00,603 --> 01:16:04,356 The Schwartz is in you, Lone Starr. It's in you! 946 01:16:04,440 --> 01:16:06,609 All right. I'll try. 947 01:16:06,692 --> 01:16:09,737 Say goodbye to your two best friends. 948 01:16:09,820 --> 01:16:12,656 And I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago. 949 01:16:21,707 --> 01:16:24,418 Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. 950 01:16:24,502 --> 01:16:27,630 This ship will self-destruct in three minutes. 951 01:16:32,218 --> 01:16:35,805 What's going on? Where the hell are we? Paris? 952 01:16:35,888 --> 01:16:37,765 Thank you for pressing the button. 953 01:16:37,848 --> 01:16:42,895 This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes and 45 seconds. 954 01:16:42,978 --> 01:16:45,189 Stop it. Is there any way to stop it? 955 01:16:45,272 --> 01:16:47,441 I can't. It's irreversible. 956 01:16:47,525 --> 01:16:49,193 Like my raincoat. 957 01:16:49,276 --> 01:16:53,030 Attention, this is Colonel Sandurz in forward command. Abandon ship! 958 01:16:53,114 --> 01:16:56,367 Abandon ship! All personnel proceed to escape pods. 959 01:16:56,784 --> 01:16:59,537 Close down the circus. Evacuate the zoo. 960 01:16:59,620 --> 01:17:04,125 The self-destruct mechanism has been activated. Abandon ship. 961 01:17:04,417 --> 01:17:06,752 Sandurz! Sandurz, you gotta help me. 962 01:17:06,836 --> 01:17:10,840 I don't know what to do. I can't make decisions. I'm a president! 963 01:17:10,923 --> 01:17:15,761 This is your two-minute warning. This ship will self-destruct in two minutes. 964 01:17:15,845 --> 01:17:18,973 Launch all escape pods once they are filled. 965 01:17:19,056 --> 01:17:21,016 What's happening? Where is he? 966 01:17:21,475 --> 01:17:23,477 # Spaceballs 967 01:17:23,561 --> 01:17:25,646 # Watch out! 968 01:17:27,732 --> 01:17:29,608 - Where is he? - Here. 969 01:17:29,692 --> 01:17:32,778 We got a minute and 40 before the end of the worid. Hang on! 970 01:17:32,862 --> 01:17:34,947 # Spaceballs... 971 01:17:36,907 --> 01:17:38,159 Full throttle. 972 01:17:38,242 --> 01:17:40,619 - Go to hyper jets. - Going to hyper jets. 973 01:17:41,746 --> 01:17:43,664 # If you're livin' in a bubble 974 01:17:43,998 --> 01:17:46,000 And you haven't got a care 975 01:17:46,083 --> 01:17:49,336 - Hey, where do you think you're going? - Pizza to go! 976 01:17:49,420 --> 01:17:53,591 # Then you're gonna be in trouble Cos we're gonna steal your air 977 01:17:56,677 --> 01:18:00,681 # Cos what you've got is what we need And all we do is dirty deeds 978 01:18:00,765 --> 01:18:03,184 # We're the Spaceballs 979 01:18:03,309 --> 01:18:04,310 # Watch out 980 01:18:04,393 --> 01:18:07,521 # We're the Spaceballs 981 01:18:11,358 --> 01:18:13,903 Hey, that's my escape pod. Who are you? 982 01:18:13,986 --> 01:18:17,114 I'm the bearded lady. What are you, one of the freaks? 983 01:18:19,784 --> 01:18:22,703 Hey, come back! That's my pod! No! 984 01:18:26,248 --> 01:18:29,210 Come back, you fat, bearded bitch! 985 01:18:30,044 --> 01:18:31,712 One pod left. 986 01:18:31,796 --> 01:18:34,507 And three of us. And I'm the President. 987 01:18:34,590 --> 01:18:39,095 Well, boys, it's a very lovely ship. I think you should go down with it. 988 01:18:39,428 --> 01:18:41,514 Goodbye. 989 01:18:44,266 --> 01:18:46,352 What's the matter with this belt? 990 01:18:54,068 --> 01:18:55,694 # Spaceballs 991 01:18:55,778 --> 01:18:58,406 This ship will self-destruct in 20 seconds. 992 01:18:58,489 --> 01:19:01,450 It's your last chance to push the cancellation button. 993 01:19:01,534 --> 01:19:03,828 Cancellation button? Hurry! 994 01:19:05,204 --> 01:19:07,581 # Spaceballs 995 01:19:07,665 --> 01:19:09,750 # Watch out! 996 01:19:11,585 --> 01:19:14,422 - Where is it? Where is it? - It's gotta be here. 997 01:19:14,505 --> 01:19:18,008 - Out of order. - Fuck! Even in the future nothing works. 998 01:19:18,092 --> 01:19:21,345 This ship will self-destruct in exactly ten seconds. 999 01:19:21,429 --> 01:19:24,056 Counting down. 1000 01:19:24,140 --> 01:19:26,308 Ten, nine, 1001 01:19:26,392 --> 01:19:28,269 eight, six... 1002 01:19:28,352 --> 01:19:30,438 Six? What happened to seven? 1003 01:19:30,521 --> 01:19:32,398 Just kidding. 1004 01:19:32,648 --> 01:19:34,734 There's the other end. Faster! 1005 01:19:34,817 --> 01:19:37,862 Six, five, four, 1006 01:19:37,945 --> 01:19:40,990 three, two, one. 1007 01:19:41,449 --> 01:19:44,160 - Have a nice day. - Thank you. 1008 01:19:55,087 --> 01:19:56,964 We did it! 1009 01:20:03,512 --> 01:20:05,598 We all did it. 1010 01:20:24,408 --> 01:20:28,829 So I guess you might call that a case of... man bites droid? 1011 01:20:31,540 --> 01:20:34,460 On a sadder note, Pizza The Hutt, 1012 01:20:34,543 --> 01:20:37,338 famed half-man, half-pizza, 1013 01:20:37,421 --> 01:20:41,801 was found dead earlier today in the back seat of his stretch limo. 1014 01:20:41,967 --> 01:20:48,224 Evidently, the notorious gangster became locked in his car and ate himself to death. 1015 01:20:48,641 --> 01:20:52,311 Coming up: Pongo's review of "Rocky Five... 1016 01:20:52,395 --> 01:20:54,897 Thousand". Pongo? 1017 01:20:56,357 --> 01:20:58,818 Did you hear that? Pizza kicked the bucket. 1018 01:20:58,901 --> 01:21:03,322 Now we don't have to pay him the million. We can keep it for ourselves. 1019 01:21:03,447 --> 01:21:05,324 Yeah. 1020 01:21:22,842 --> 01:21:25,970 - Daddy! Oh, Daddy! - Oh, Vespa, my darling. 1021 01:21:26,053 --> 01:21:29,932 I thought I'd never see you again. Oh, my sweet little daughter. 1022 01:21:30,015 --> 01:21:32,309 I'm so happy that you're home and safe. 1023 01:21:32,935 --> 01:21:36,981 And, little Vespa, here's someone else who's happy to see you. 1024 01:21:39,608 --> 01:21:41,861 Oh, hello. 1025 01:21:41,944 --> 01:21:44,238 Where have you been? 1026 01:21:58,878 --> 01:22:00,963 Thanks, hon. 1027 01:22:12,475 --> 01:22:14,351 Hiya, big stuff. 1028 01:22:14,435 --> 01:22:15,895 Hi, dream. 1029 01:22:16,437 --> 01:22:20,232 - What'll you have? - We're just gassing up, so what's ready? 1030 01:22:20,316 --> 01:22:22,693 I got the space soup or the space special. 1031 01:22:22,777 --> 01:22:25,905 - Um, I'll have the soup. - OK. 1032 01:22:26,072 --> 01:22:28,699 I'll have the cleavage. Uh, the special. 1033 01:22:29,867 --> 01:22:33,204 OK, one special and one soup. 1034 01:22:36,373 --> 01:22:39,794 - Ready to order? - Hi. Yes, we'll both have the lunafish. 1035 01:22:39,877 --> 01:22:43,339 Anything to drink? Hey, watch where you stick that thing! 1036 01:22:43,422 --> 01:22:48,260 Huh? Oh, look, it's got a mind of its own, sweetheart. I can't do a thing with it. 1037 01:22:53,182 --> 01:22:55,101 - Jeez! - What? 1038 01:22:55,184 --> 01:22:58,604 No, we were lost. None of us knew where we were. 1039 01:22:58,687 --> 01:23:03,442 And then Harry began feeling around on all the trees. 1040 01:23:03,526 --> 01:23:06,946 Then he said "I got it. We on Pluto." 1041 01:23:07,029 --> 01:23:11,784 And we said "Harry, how can you tell?" He said "From the bark, you dummy!" 1042 01:23:11,867 --> 01:23:13,953 From the bark! 1043 01:23:17,164 --> 01:23:19,250 Is he all right? 1044 01:23:21,502 --> 01:23:24,213 - Hey, what's wrong with this guy? - I don't know! 1045 01:23:27,591 --> 01:23:30,094 - Bring him some water! - Water, my ass! 1046 01:23:30,177 --> 01:23:32,513 Bring this guy some Pepto-Bismol! 1047 01:23:32,596 --> 01:23:36,183 Waitress! Waitress! What did he order? 1048 01:23:36,267 --> 01:23:39,395 - Oh, he had the special. - The spe... That's my order! 1049 01:23:39,478 --> 01:23:42,106 - Change my order to the soup. - Good move. 1050 01:23:50,656 --> 01:23:52,742 Oh, no. 1051 01:23:52,825 --> 01:23:54,910 Not again. 1052 01:24:06,047 --> 01:24:08,466 # Hello, my baby Hello, my honey 1053 01:24:08,549 --> 01:24:10,426 # Hello, my ragtime gal 1054 01:24:10,634 --> 01:24:12,887 # Send me a kiss by wire 1055 01:24:12,970 --> 01:24:15,264 # Baby, my heart's on fire 1056 01:24:15,347 --> 01:24:17,808 # If you refuse me Honey, you'll lose me 1057 01:24:17,892 --> 01:24:20,936 # Then you'll be left alone Oh, baby, telephone 1058 01:24:21,020 --> 01:24:24,440 # And tell me I'm your own 1059 01:24:27,068 --> 01:24:29,361 Check, please. 1060 01:24:39,288 --> 01:24:41,874 Five minutes to magic time. 1061 01:24:41,957 --> 01:24:45,127 Are you all right, my dear? You look a little... flighty. 1062 01:24:45,211 --> 01:24:48,798 Don't worry about me, Father. I'm completely over him. 1063 01:24:49,131 --> 01:24:54,178 Huh! Didn't even stay for the wedding. Just grabbed his million bucks and ran. 1064 01:24:54,678 --> 01:24:57,014 He didn't take the million. 1065 01:24:57,098 --> 01:24:58,974 - He didn't? - No. 1066 01:24:59,433 --> 01:25:03,312 He just took 248 space bucks for lunch, gas and tolls. 1067 01:25:13,864 --> 01:25:19,412 I can't believe you refused the money. But we could've stayed for food. I'm starving. 1068 01:25:19,495 --> 01:25:21,831 - Have you got anything to eat? - Nah. 1069 01:25:22,706 --> 01:25:26,210 Oh, wait a minute. Yogurt gave me that fortune cookie. 1070 01:25:26,293 --> 01:25:28,379 - Here, chow down. - Wow, thanks. 1071 01:25:28,462 --> 01:25:30,339 - I'll split it. - No. 1072 01:25:30,423 --> 01:25:32,299 OK. 1073 01:25:35,344 --> 01:25:37,763 - Yogurt! - Hello, boys. 1074 01:25:37,847 --> 01:25:41,434 Well, you opened your fortune cookie, so here's your fortune. 1075 01:25:41,517 --> 01:25:45,396 Lone Starr, you know that medallion that you wear, 1076 01:25:45,479 --> 01:25:48,691 but you don't know what it means? Here's what it means. 1077 01:25:48,983 --> 01:25:51,944 It's a royal birth certificate. Yes! 1078 01:25:52,027 --> 01:25:55,489 Your father was a king, your mother was a queen, 1079 01:25:55,573 --> 01:25:59,285 which makes you a certified prince. 1080 01:25:59,493 --> 01:26:01,912 Hey, I'm a prince. 1081 01:26:01,996 --> 01:26:04,206 I'm a prince! Which means... 1082 01:26:04,290 --> 01:26:08,502 Which means if you hurry there could be a princess in your future. 1083 01:26:08,586 --> 01:26:11,422 If you wanna stop her marrying Sleeping Beauty, 1084 01:26:11,505 --> 01:26:14,842 there's a special can of fuel in your glove compartment. 1085 01:26:14,925 --> 01:26:17,011 - Good luck, boys. - Bye, Yogurt. 1086 01:26:17,094 --> 01:26:18,971 And, Yogurt... 1087 01:26:19,055 --> 01:26:21,348 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1088 01:26:21,432 --> 01:26:27,688 And may the Schwartz be with youuuuu! 1089 01:26:28,439 --> 01:26:30,524 Oh, what a worid. 1090 01:26:30,608 --> 01:26:34,695 - Barf, open that glove compartment. - You got it... Your Highness. 1091 01:26:38,032 --> 01:26:40,785 Wow! Liquid Schwartz! 1092 01:26:40,868 --> 01:26:43,245 - Quick, pour it in the tank. - Right. 1093 01:26:47,458 --> 01:26:49,543 Look at that! 1094 01:26:50,544 --> 01:26:52,505 - Done. - Hang on, Barfo, 1095 01:26:52,588 --> 01:26:55,216 we're gonna make space tracks. 1096 01:27:47,393 --> 01:27:51,063 Dear me, what are those things coming out of her nose? 1097 01:27:52,314 --> 01:27:54,400 Hey, hey, watch my helmet. 1098 01:27:57,570 --> 01:27:59,447 Spaceballs! 1099 01:27:59,697 --> 01:28:02,825 Oh, shit. There goes the planet. 1100 01:28:05,703 --> 01:28:10,082 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together... 1101 01:28:10,666 --> 01:28:12,126 again. 1102 01:28:12,209 --> 01:28:15,755 - You didn't say he refused the money. - It wasn't important. 1103 01:28:16,297 --> 01:28:20,426 - May I continue, please? - Besides, he asked me not to tell you. 1104 01:28:21,093 --> 01:28:22,970 Thank you. 1105 01:28:23,054 --> 01:28:28,392 To join Princess Vespa and Princess Valium... 1106 01:28:29,310 --> 01:28:31,729 I'm sorry, it's the hair. 1107 01:28:31,812 --> 01:28:33,689 Prince Valium 1108 01:28:33,773 --> 01:28:36,233 in the bonds of holy matrimony. 1109 01:28:36,317 --> 01:28:39,487 I see it all now. Don't you see he loves me? 1110 01:28:39,570 --> 01:28:43,949 I'm trying to conduct a wedding here, which has nothing to do with love. Quiet. 1111 01:28:44,033 --> 01:28:45,701 - I'm sorry. - I'm sorry. 1112 01:28:45,785 --> 01:28:48,454 - I'm sorry, too. - Don't be sorry, be quiet. 1113 01:28:48,537 --> 01:28:50,831 I'm sorry! 1114 01:28:52,833 --> 01:28:56,796 To join Princess Vespa and Prince Valium 1115 01:28:56,879 --> 01:28:58,964 in the bonds of holy... 1116 01:28:59,048 --> 01:29:01,133 ...moly! 1117 01:29:05,805 --> 01:29:07,765 Uh... matrimony. 1118 01:29:07,848 --> 01:29:10,351 That's him. I know it's him. He's come back! 1119 01:29:10,434 --> 01:29:13,521 That's it. No more chances. We're doing the short version. 1120 01:29:13,604 --> 01:29:16,857 Prince Valium, do you take Princess Vespa to be your wife? 1121 01:29:16,941 --> 01:29:18,192 Uh-huh. 1122 01:29:18,275 --> 01:29:22,571 - Do you take Valium to be your husband? - Uh... well, I... 1123 01:29:22,655 --> 01:29:25,741 I suppose. Well, oh, I don't know. 1124 01:29:25,825 --> 01:29:28,119 - No! She doesn't. - What? 1125 01:29:33,499 --> 01:29:36,877 - Who the hell are you? - Prince Lone Starr. 1126 01:29:37,461 --> 01:29:39,672 - Prince?! - I just found out. 1127 01:29:40,005 --> 01:29:43,509 That's what this says. I'm an honest-to-God prince. 1128 01:29:43,592 --> 01:29:45,261 Will you marry me? 1129 01:29:45,761 --> 01:29:47,847 Well, let me think about it. 1130 01:29:49,265 --> 01:29:50,141 Yes! 1131 01:29:50,224 --> 01:29:54,895 I'm sick of this. I don't care who it is, but I'm gonna marry somebody today. 1132 01:29:54,979 --> 01:29:58,023 - Who are you? - I'm the best man, Barf. 1133 01:29:58,107 --> 01:30:00,484 - Full name? - Barfolomew. 1134 01:30:00,568 --> 01:30:02,903 - Are you getting married? - No. 1135 01:30:02,987 --> 01:30:04,655 Then get over there! 1136 01:30:04,947 --> 01:30:08,409 OK, here we go. The short, short version. 1137 01:30:08,492 --> 01:30:10,369 - Do you? - Yes. 1138 01:30:10,453 --> 01:30:11,704 - Do you? - Yes. 1139 01:30:11,787 --> 01:30:14,498 Good. You're married. Kiss her! 1140 01:30:14,582 --> 01:30:17,293 - I love you. - I love you. 1141 01:30:28,471 --> 01:30:31,265 Well, goodbye, Virgin Alarm. 1142 01:32:48,277 --> 01:32:52,823 # If you're livin' in a bubble And you haven't got a care 1143 01:32:55,910 --> 01:33:00,414 # Then you're gonna be in trouble Cos we're gonna steal your air 1144 01:33:03,334 --> 01:33:07,129 # Cos what you've got is what we need And all we do is dirty deeds 1145 01:33:07,213 --> 01:33:09,465 # We're the Spaceballs 1146 01:33:09,965 --> 01:33:10,883 # Watch out! 1147 01:33:10,966 --> 01:33:13,928 # We're the Spaceballs 1148 01:33:14,720 --> 01:33:16,847 # We're the masters of space 1149 01:33:16,931 --> 01:33:20,684 - # Hey, don't mess around - # With the Spaceballs 1150 01:33:30,069 --> 01:33:34,532 # Going cruisin' in a spaceship We're so good at being bad 1151 01:33:37,493 --> 01:33:42,415 # We'll destroy your little planet If you ever get us mad 1152 01:33:44,959 --> 01:33:49,171 # We're mothers of the galaxy You better scatter when you see 1153 01:33:49,255 --> 01:33:51,340 # The Spaceballs 1154 01:33:51,590 --> 01:33:52,591 # Watch out! 1155 01:33:52,675 --> 01:33:55,636 # We're the Spaceballs 1156 01:33:56,303 --> 01:33:58,264 # We're the masters of space 1157 01:33:58,347 --> 01:34:02,643 - # Say what? Don't mess around - # With the Spaceballs 1158 01:34:03,060 --> 01:34:05,146 # Watch out! 1159 01:34:33,507 --> 01:34:35,968 # We're mothers of the galaxy 1160 01:34:36,052 --> 01:34:40,431 # We're gonna take the air you breathe 1161 01:34:40,931 --> 01:34:44,477 # Oh! Spaceballs 1162 01:34:44,560 --> 01:34:45,561 # Watch out! 1163 01:34:45,644 --> 01:34:48,522 # We're the Spaceballs 1164 01:34:48,898 --> 01:34:51,859 # We're the masters of space 1165 01:34:51,942 --> 01:34:55,780 # Don't mess around with the Spaceballs 1166 01:34:55,863 --> 01:34:56,864 # Watch out! 1167 01:34:56,947 --> 01:34:59,575 # We're the Spaceballs 1168 01:35:00,659 --> 01:35:03,245 # We're the masters of space 1169 01:35:03,329 --> 01:35:07,166 # Don't mess around with the Spaceballs 1170 01:35:07,249 --> 01:35:08,125 # Watch out! 1171 01:35:08,209 --> 01:35:10,503 # We've got a bossin' metal ship 1172 01:35:11,962 --> 01:35:14,048 # So you better watch your lip 1173 01:35:15,591 --> 01:35:18,552 # Cos we're the Spaceballs 1174 01:35:18,636 --> 01:35:19,720 # Watch out! 1175 01:35:19,804 --> 01:35:22,306 # You may think that you are bad 1176 01:35:23,224 --> 01:35:26,352 # But believe you can be had 1177 01:35:27,103 --> 01:35:29,855 # By the Spaceballs 1178 01:35:29,939 --> 01:35:30,940 # Watch out! 1179 01:35:31,023 --> 01:35:33,692 # We're the Spaceballs 1180 01:35:33,776 --> 01:35:34,777 # Watch out! 1181 01:35:34,860 --> 01:35:37,655 # We're the Spaceballs 1182 01:35:38,155 --> 01:35:41,075 # We're the masters of space 1183 01:35:41,158 --> 01:35:44,954 # Don't mess around with the Spaceballs 1184 01:35:46,580 --> 01:35:48,666 # We're so bad and mean 1185 01:35:49,875 --> 01:35:53,003 # We make nightmares out of dreams 1186 01:35:53,629 --> 01:35:56,549 # We're the Spaceballs 1187 01:35:57,299 --> 01:36:00,219 # We're the Spaceballs 1188 01:36:01,679 --> 01:36:03,556 # So you'd better watch out! 89592