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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,208 --> 00:00:01,808 _ 2 00:00:01,844 --> 00:00:04,344 _ 3 00:00:07,781 --> 00:00:09,781 _ 4 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:55,457 They all work. All four of them. 5 00:00:55,585 --> 00:00:57,431 OK, good. Good to test them. 6 00:00:57,710 --> 00:01:00,024 How is he? Charles? Is he ready? 7 00:01:00,164 --> 00:01:02,204 - Erm... - CHRIS TARRANT: Emmerdale. Hollyoaks. 8 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,589 EastEnders. Coronation Street. 9 00:01:06,452 --> 00:01:07,417 Emmerdale? 10 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:09,444 D, Coronation Street. 11 00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:11,525 Coronation Street is the right answer, well done. 12 00:01:11,561 --> 00:01:14,674 - Oh, bum. - Yeah, no, he's, erm... 13 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,710 He's going to need all the help he can get. 14 00:01:20,867 --> 00:01:22,867 _ 15 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,033 This way, please. 16 00:01:33,078 --> 00:01:35,474 So this is just a little practice, 17 00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:37,123 before we send you off to the canteen 18 00:01:37,159 --> 00:01:38,879 for a bite to eat, OK? 19 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,115 Oh, and to warn, 20 00:01:41,224 --> 00:01:44,107 we're starting with a rollover contestant from yesterday. 21 00:01:44,143 --> 00:01:45,675 So you won't be called upon 22 00:01:45,710 --> 00:01:48,380 until probably quite a way into the show, 23 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:51,991 just to, like, manage your expectations and everything. 24 00:01:52,261 --> 00:01:53,627 Right! 25 00:01:53,825 --> 00:01:56,379 Just a rehearsal! 26 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,051 Fingers on buttons. 27 00:01:58,087 --> 00:02:01,341 Put these Disney films in order of their release. 28 00:02:02,855 --> 00:02:04,893 A, Little Mermaid. 29 00:02:05,104 --> 00:02:06,996 B, Snow White. 30 00:02:07,032 --> 00:02:08,900 C, Aladdin. 31 00:02:08,936 --> 00:02:10,525 D, Dumbo. 32 00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:19,581 OK, pretty straightforward, B, D, A, C. 33 00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:21,582 Let's look who was fastest. 34 00:02:21,863 --> 00:02:26,085 Janet! On 6.52 seconds, well done. 35 00:02:26,121 --> 00:02:28,298 - And, Charles? - Yeah. 36 00:02:28,561 --> 00:02:31,886 - I'm afraid you were last. - Oh, well. It's just nice to be here. 37 00:02:31,922 --> 00:02:34,119 - Yeah. Only rehearsal. - Yeah, OK. 38 00:02:34,174 --> 00:02:36,330 - OK. Over to you, Rebecca. - Fantastic. 39 00:02:36,366 --> 00:02:39,006 OK, folks, if you'd like to follow me, please. 40 00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:45,675 He's the husband of the sister of the brother 41 00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,254 who were all here, so... 42 00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:48,556 Oh, Jesus Christ. 43 00:02:48,592 --> 00:02:50,418 But seriously, honestly, I wouldn't worry, 44 00:02:50,454 --> 00:02:52,674 he's like Tim-Nice-But-Dim army type, 45 00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:54,048 I doubt he'll even get in the chair. 46 00:02:54,084 --> 00:02:56,674 Terrible in rehearsal and, so, yeah. 47 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,392 Oh, and his wife did request an extra ticket, though. 48 00:02:59,428 --> 00:03:01,728 Audience is full, but I could put them in the overspill? 49 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,902 Fine, wherever. 50 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:10,159 Don't be so on edge. 51 00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:12,768 I'm gonna be the one in the chair, hopefully. 52 00:03:13,116 --> 00:03:14,409 I wish you were more on edge, 53 00:03:14,445 --> 00:03:16,608 so I'd know you knew how nerve-wracking it is out there. 54 00:03:20,271 --> 00:03:22,540 Well, at least we're getting to spend more time together. 55 00:03:23,175 --> 00:03:25,335 KNOCK ON DOOR 56 00:03:33,710 --> 00:03:36,202 - All right. - Of course, yeah. 57 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:46,046 Right, place these words of an Agatha Christie novel 58 00:03:46,194 --> 00:03:47,640 in the right order. 59 00:03:47,702 --> 00:03:49,702 Nile, On, Death, The! 60 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:56,979 And it was, of course, Death On The Nile. 61 00:03:57,015 --> 00:03:59,076 And who gets to sit in the chair next? 62 00:03:59,112 --> 00:04:01,152 It's... Charles Ingram! 63 00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,870 Well done, Charles. 64 00:04:09,906 --> 00:04:11,715 Are you ready to play for a million pounds? 65 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:14,287 - Is the Pope a Catholic? - And... hold there! 66 00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,675 - What did I...? - Oh, don't worry, no, no, no. 67 00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:18,675 It's a lot less continuous and magic than it is on tele. 68 00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:21,195 Erm, lots of stops and starts. We're gonna mic your guest up now 69 00:04:21,230 --> 00:04:22,675 and put them in their seat in the audience. 70 00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:24,049 - Who have you brought? - Uh, my wife. 71 00:04:24,085 --> 00:04:26,004 You've met actually, she played before. 72 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,128 - Oh, really? - Yes. 73 00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:28,888 Oh, yes! 74 00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,106 Hello... again. 75 00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,910 OK, folks, here we go. And... 76 00:04:38,210 --> 00:04:41,495 OK, let's play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 77 00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:45,710 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 78 00:04:50,444 --> 00:04:53,024 Erm, so, we've seen quite a lot of the Major's family 79 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,181 on this show, Charles... 80 00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:57,660 First off was his wife, Diana, who won 32 grand. 81 00:04:57,710 --> 00:05:01,675 Erm, then brother-in-law Adrian, who won 32 grand, as well. 82 00:05:01,711 --> 00:05:03,980 So it's a matter of family honour, Charles. 83 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,355 - No pressure, then! - No. No. No, no pressure. 84 00:05:06,749 --> 00:05:08,206 What, are you trying to win a million between you? 85 00:05:08,272 --> 00:05:11,237 - LAUGHTER - First question of 15. 86 00:05:12,710 --> 00:05:15,100 "What name is given to a person 87 00:05:15,136 --> 00:05:19,154 "who is against increasing the powers of the European Union?" 88 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:21,675 Eurosceptic. Eurostar. 89 00:05:21,765 --> 00:05:25,042 Eurotrash. Eurovision. 90 00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:27,876 It's, erm... It's Eurosceptic, Chris, yeah. 91 00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:28,912 That's correct. 92 00:05:31,358 --> 00:05:32,757 So for £2,000. 93 00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:34,916 Coronation Street... 94 00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,103 CHRIS GUFFAWS 95 00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:38,530 - I bet you know this one. - Oh, no, I've never watched it. 96 00:05:38,569 --> 00:05:40,328 Charles, it's been on for 40 years! 97 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,581 I know, I know, I just... 98 00:05:43,061 --> 00:05:47,074 In Coronation Street, who is Audrey's daughter? 99 00:05:47,561 --> 00:05:52,561 Janice, Gail, Linda, Sally. 100 00:05:54,710 --> 00:05:56,675 Erm, no, it's nothing... 101 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:59,032 It's nothing, erm... 102 00:05:59,841 --> 00:06:01,018 I'm not getting anything. 103 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:02,995 _ 104 00:06:08,616 --> 00:06:12,616 Erm, no, it's... 105 00:06:26,444 --> 00:06:28,125 Oh, sorry, sir, 106 00:06:28,161 --> 00:06:30,126 you can't be out here on the phone, I'm afraid. 107 00:06:30,162 --> 00:06:31,267 Yeah, no, sorry, I'm... 108 00:06:31,303 --> 00:06:32,861 I know, I know, sorry, I just need to, erm... 109 00:06:32,897 --> 00:06:35,318 - Sir, if you don't mind? - Yeah, of course. 110 00:06:35,592 --> 00:06:37,592 Sorry. I was just trying to get in touch... 111 00:06:39,909 --> 00:06:41,037 OK, no, I... Yeah. 112 00:06:41,073 --> 00:06:43,048 I'll have to ask the audience, Chris. 113 00:06:43,084 --> 00:06:45,049 - Cut to Chris. - OK, audience. 114 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:46,440 She's right. He's an idiot. 115 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:47,710 Fingers on keypads. 116 00:06:49,620 --> 00:06:52,850 Which still begs the question how he got in the goddamn chair, 117 00:06:53,116 --> 00:06:56,000 but hey-ho, and all the fun of the fair. 118 00:06:58,579 --> 00:07:02,282 - OK! - And 89% say Gail. 119 00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:05,908 Well. Gosh, yeah, OK... Well, I'll go for B, go for Gail. 120 00:07:08,710 --> 00:07:11,391 Oh, "Where is the River Foyle"? 121 00:07:11,452 --> 00:07:13,812 Erm... Erm... 122 00:07:16,506 --> 00:07:18,471 I think I'm gonna have to, erm... 123 00:07:18,710 --> 00:07:21,163 Oh, dear. Yeah, I'm gonna have to... phone a friend.. 124 00:07:21,217 --> 00:07:23,769 It's all right, that's what the lifelines are there for. 125 00:07:23,805 --> 00:07:25,920 OK, who are we gonna call, Major? 126 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:29,675 - Erm, Gerald. - OK, let's call Gerald, please. 127 00:07:29,973 --> 00:07:32,582 - Where's Gerald? - Erm, South Wales. 128 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,675 PHONE DIALS 129 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:40,710 PHONE'S DIAL DISTORTS 130 00:07:46,910 --> 00:07:49,875 Mr Pollock, I mean it now, we'll have to confiscate your phone. 131 00:07:49,910 --> 00:07:52,203 Yeah, all right. OK. OK. Yep, sorry. 132 00:07:55,051 --> 00:07:58,269 - This way, sir. - Keep an eye on him. 133 00:07:58,530 --> 00:08:01,495 Is the right answer. And that takes you to £4,000! 134 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:03,675 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 135 00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:06,355 - KLAXON BLARES - Oh, no! 136 00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:09,675 Oh, no! Charles, we're gonna have to drag you back tomorrow, 137 00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:13,195 along with ten new Fastest Finger First contestants. 138 00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:14,526 - APPLAUSE - And they are... 139 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:17,022 Tecwen Whittock from Pontypridd! 140 00:08:17,058 --> 00:08:19,316 Aaron Ford from New Malden! 141 00:08:19,352 --> 00:08:21,317 Jacob Nixon from Frome! 142 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,675 Charlotte Edmonds from Edinburgh. 143 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:26,262 Helen McGrath form Broadstairs. 144 00:08:27,098 --> 00:08:28,190 Sorry, darling. 145 00:08:28,226 --> 00:08:30,033 Bloody Coronation Street. 146 00:08:30,170 --> 00:08:35,060 It's OK, we just need to strategise for tomorrow. 147 00:08:35,096 --> 00:08:36,143 We need to regroup. 148 00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:37,330 Well, I can't be back tomorrow, 149 00:08:37,366 --> 00:08:39,331 I mean, I shouldn't really be here today, so... 150 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,088 - KNOCK ON DOOR - Knock-knock, sorry to interrupt. 151 00:08:42,124 --> 00:08:43,840 Just giving you your hotel details. 152 00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:46,674 Oh, no, I'm really sorry, but I actually think 153 00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:48,779 - we have to get back home tonight. - Back home? 154 00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:50,675 Yeah, I've got... I've got work in the morning. 155 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:53,675 But you're our rollover contestant. You're back in the chair tomorrow. 156 00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,675 I know, I know, but we didn't necessarily think 157 00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,211 that we would rollover, did we? 158 00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:58,146 - No. - No. 159 00:08:58,217 --> 00:09:00,205 - Well, can't you call in sick? - It's the British Army. 160 00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:01,935 - No, you can't call in sick. - I know, but, like... 161 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:04,243 SHE SCOFFS ...there's no war on, is there? 162 00:09:06,931 --> 00:09:08,431 I mean, I'm joking, but I'm not really. 163 00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:09,675 We have to have you back here. 164 00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:11,031 We will be back. I promise, I promise. 165 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:13,271 But work takes precedence, I'm so sorry. 166 00:09:14,070 --> 00:09:16,005 - Charles, car, five minutes. - Yeah. 167 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,443 _ 168 00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:37,675 PHONE RINGS 169 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,356 Hello, Tecwen speaking. 170 00:09:39,392 --> 00:09:42,674 Ah, yes, Tecwen. Hi. It's, erm, Diana Ingram here. 171 00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:46,117 - Erm, Adrian's sister. - Oh. Hello, yes. Diana. Yes. 172 00:09:46,179 --> 00:09:48,589 Oh, my God, fortuitous timing. You'll never guess what. 173 00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,034 Oh, I-I think I can, actually, 174 00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:52,445 you're going to be on the show tomorrow, I've just heard, 175 00:09:52,506 --> 00:09:56,261 erm, weirdly, I'm here... at the studio. 176 00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:57,675 Charles, my husband, he's here, 177 00:09:57,710 --> 00:09:59,191 he's going to be in the chair tomorrow, 178 00:09:59,227 --> 00:10:00,741 for when you're in the Fastest Finger seats. 179 00:10:00,777 --> 00:10:04,033 - Oh, my. What a coincidence. - I know. I know. 180 00:10:04,069 --> 00:10:06,834 So, erm, I just thought I'd call for a quick chat. 181 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:14,206 MUSIC AND APPLAUSE 182 00:10:14,507 --> 00:10:16,007 All right? 183 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,885 MUSIC DIES 184 00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:26,775 CLOCK TICKS 185 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,710 HE SIGHS 186 00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:39,792 We're welcoming back Charles, 187 00:10:39,828 --> 00:10:42,793 Major Charles Ingram, into the chair. 188 00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:44,487 "Morning, Major!" "Morning, Fawlty!" 189 00:10:44,523 --> 00:10:45,790 LAUGHTER 190 00:10:45,904 --> 00:10:48,075 So do you have a strategy, then, Major? 191 00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:51,075 Well, erm... Well, yeah, I do. I do have a strategy, actually. 192 00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:54,075 I, erm... I was a bit defensive on the last show, 193 00:10:54,110 --> 00:10:55,846 erm, you know, talking myself out of answers 194 00:10:55,882 --> 00:10:57,847 that I... frankly, I should have known and do know 195 00:10:57,883 --> 00:10:59,996 and, erm... So, yeah... So I'm... I'm... 196 00:11:00,032 --> 00:11:02,331 Yeah, I'm, sort of, going on the counterattack. 197 00:11:02,653 --> 00:11:04,778 We're going on a counterattack. 198 00:11:05,011 --> 00:11:06,075 Yeah, and basically I'm... 199 00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:08,464 I'm just gonna try and show a bit more self-commitment. 200 00:11:08,531 --> 00:11:10,856 Well, erm, let's put this strategy to the test. 201 00:11:10,892 --> 00:11:14,968 Right, Major Charles Ingram, are you ready to play? 202 00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:19,626 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 203 00:11:19,662 --> 00:11:22,450 This, for £8,000. 204 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:27,050 Who was the second husband of Jacqueline Kennedy? 205 00:11:27,579 --> 00:11:29,142 Adnan Khashoggi. 206 00:11:29,938 --> 00:11:31,186 Ronald Reagan. 207 00:11:31,470 --> 00:11:33,675 Aristotle Onassis. 208 00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:35,675 Rupert Murdoch. 209 00:11:36,336 --> 00:11:38,805 All right, we're not expecting this guy to be in long, 210 00:11:38,841 --> 00:11:40,075 he's two lifelines down, 211 00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,347 so make sure we're prepped for the next. 212 00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:43,415 Roger, roger. 213 00:11:44,696 --> 00:11:45,953 I would have thought... 214 00:11:45,989 --> 00:11:50,066 I would have thought, it would be Aristotle Onassis. 215 00:11:51,247 --> 00:11:52,307 Erm... 216 00:11:54,609 --> 00:11:58,074 Yeah, one... One of my sub-strategies is... 217 00:11:58,110 --> 00:12:00,075 Oh, my, we've got sub-strategies now?! 218 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,772 Yeah, yeah, and sub-sub-strategies. 219 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,988 But one of my sub-strategies is to take my time 220 00:12:04,204 --> 00:12:07,335 and, erm, list all the... all the options. 221 00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:09,227 So... 222 00:12:11,344 --> 00:12:13,334 Adnan Kashoggi. 223 00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:15,264 Ronald Reagan. 224 00:12:17,054 --> 00:12:18,299 And Rupert Murdoch. 225 00:12:21,301 --> 00:12:23,178 Aristotle Onassis. 226 00:12:23,788 --> 00:12:25,313 COUGHING 227 00:12:34,024 --> 00:12:35,758 Yeah, yeah, I think... 228 00:12:35,794 --> 00:12:38,934 I'm pretty sure it's, erm, Aristotle Onassis. 229 00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:40,190 Final answer? 230 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:42,044 Final answer, yeah. 231 00:12:43,275 --> 00:12:44,435 You didn't have to play. 232 00:12:47,727 --> 00:12:49,918 Well, this new self-committed Charles 233 00:12:49,954 --> 00:12:52,585 is a wild and crazy man. That's the correct answer! 234 00:13:01,492 --> 00:13:03,668 OK, so you've got £16,000. 235 00:13:03,704 --> 00:13:06,446 Now for the all-important 32,000. 236 00:13:07,844 --> 00:13:12,095 Who had a hit UK album with Born To Do It, 237 00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:14,460 released in 2000? 238 00:13:15,255 --> 00:13:16,452 Coldplay. 239 00:13:17,781 --> 00:13:18,746 Toploader. 240 00:13:19,110 --> 00:13:20,322 A1. 241 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:22,432 Craig David. 242 00:13:25,715 --> 00:13:27,121 Coldplay. 243 00:13:27,429 --> 00:13:28,682 Toploader. 244 00:13:29,137 --> 00:13:30,378 A1. 245 00:13:31,298 --> 00:13:32,658 Craig David. 246 00:13:39,790 --> 00:13:43,709 HE SIGHS OK, well, erm... 247 00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:46,181 - All right? - Yeah. 248 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:52,816 That major from last night is nearly up to 32 grand, amazingly. 249 00:13:52,852 --> 00:13:53,817 I think it's A1. 250 00:13:53,853 --> 00:13:55,299 He's like a new man today. 251 00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:57,029 But it could be Toploader. 252 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,332 Which is also something to do with a barrel on a rifle. 253 00:13:59,368 --> 00:14:04,971 So... Erm, I've never heard of Craig David. 254 00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:07,153 Erm... 255 00:14:08,906 --> 00:14:11,074 Erm, I... I'm afraid I'm gonna have to... 256 00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,786 I think I'm gonna have to use my final lifeline, 50:50. 257 00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:16,456 Computer, take away two wrong answers, 258 00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:20,206 leave Charles with the right answer and one remaining wrong answer. 259 00:14:20,882 --> 00:14:24,483 Oh, that's not any easier... Erm... Urgh. 260 00:14:31,110 --> 00:14:32,075 Do you know what? 261 00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,707 I think I'm gonna go for it, I think I'm gonna go for A1. 262 00:14:34,950 --> 00:14:36,075 - CROWD GASP - Final answer? 263 00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,079 No. 264 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,734 LAUGHTER 265 00:14:42,383 --> 00:14:43,681 No. Erm... 266 00:14:47,926 --> 00:14:49,419 Craig David... 267 00:14:50,025 --> 00:14:51,207 HE SIGHS 268 00:14:55,822 --> 00:14:57,822 Craig... David. 269 00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:04,907 SHE COUGHS 270 00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:13,923 You know, when... When I'm at home, erm, and I'm practising, 271 00:15:13,959 --> 00:15:15,696 you know, I guess... I guess... 272 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,186 Well, I guess wrong 80% of the time, 273 00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:22,227 so I think I'm gonna go with Craig David. 274 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,523 LAUGHTER 275 00:15:24,559 --> 00:15:26,675 Charles, you'd never heard of him a moment ago?! 276 00:15:26,711 --> 00:15:28,129 No, Craig David. I'm gonna... 277 00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:31,843 - Final answer? - Yeah, final answer. 278 00:15:34,317 --> 00:15:37,538 Well, erm, what a show this is turning into. 279 00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:41,075 Major Charles Ingram was on £16,000. 280 00:15:41,110 --> 00:15:42,708 He didn't have to play this question. 281 00:15:42,789 --> 00:15:46,366 He said in his own words that he'd never heard of Craig David. 282 00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:48,179 He went with A1. 283 00:15:48,356 --> 00:15:50,924 And then, because... 284 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,476 Well, I'd rather lost the plot of his thinking then, 285 00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:55,437 but he changed his mind, 286 00:15:55,473 --> 00:16:00,438 knowing that he would lose £15,000 if he gave the wrong answer. 287 00:16:00,474 --> 00:16:03,035 He went with Craig David, who he'd never heard of. 288 00:16:03,789 --> 00:16:04,789 Yep. 289 00:16:06,696 --> 00:16:08,661 And that's the right answer! 290 00:16:08,697 --> 00:16:10,662 - THEME MUSIC PLAYS - Unbelievable. 291 00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:13,650 I don't know how you do that! I really don't! 292 00:16:15,110 --> 00:16:16,711 Incredible. 293 00:16:18,883 --> 00:16:21,848 HE PANTS 294 00:16:21,993 --> 00:16:24,033 PHONE RINGS 295 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,962 - Yes? - Paul. It's David. 296 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,999 It's happening, I think the thing is happening. 297 00:16:30,382 --> 00:16:32,347 The rollover contestant from last night, 298 00:16:32,383 --> 00:16:33,490 I think he's cheating. 299 00:16:34,298 --> 00:16:36,987 He...? What, in getting on the show? 300 00:16:37,087 --> 00:16:38,730 No, cheating on the show, 301 00:16:38,766 --> 00:16:40,891 cheating at the actual... the actual game. 302 00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:42,841 - Is the correct answer. - APPLAUSE 303 00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:45,213 How do you...? You can't cheat the show, 304 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,357 either you know the answer, or you don't. 305 00:16:47,446 --> 00:16:50,083 Look something isn't right. He's... 306 00:16:51,852 --> 00:16:53,544 Normal people don't play like this. 307 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,336 All right, I'm... I'm coming down. 308 00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:03,109 Yeah, I mean, it's a down payment on a house, isn't it? So... 309 00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:11,472 So, yeah. Yeah. Holbein. Holbein. 310 00:17:12,352 --> 00:17:13,517 Final answer? 311 00:17:13,797 --> 00:17:14,837 Final answer. 312 00:17:16,532 --> 00:17:20,071 OK. Erm, first of all, you thought it was Rembrandt. 313 00:17:22,164 --> 00:17:23,692 Said you'd seen the painting. 314 00:17:24,406 --> 00:17:26,068 You then thought it was Holbein. 315 00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:38,600 You've just won £125,000! 316 00:17:39,790 --> 00:17:41,458 Incredible. 317 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,979 Incredible. You're just getting better! 318 00:17:44,394 --> 00:17:46,396 OK, something's weird. 319 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,276 - How is he doing this? - Yeah, I have no idea. 320 00:17:49,312 --> 00:17:52,277 I mean, you were struggling more at £200 than you are now. 321 00:17:52,352 --> 00:17:55,317 - I-I dunno! - Unbelievable. 322 00:17:56,110 --> 00:17:57,075 HE MOUTHS 323 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,075 Well, Charles, here it is. 324 00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,800 A cheque, for a quarter of a... It sounds strange, doesn't it. 325 00:18:02,836 --> 00:18:05,801 ...a quarter of a million pounds. Gosh, you're shaking. 326 00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:07,412 I know, I know, I don't... 327 00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,100 I know that, frankly, you didn't think you'd be able 328 00:18:09,136 --> 00:18:12,074 to equal your wife. And, frankly, Charles, nor did I. 329 00:18:12,110 --> 00:18:15,217 - LAUGHTER - Well, this is real money. 330 00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:19,074 £250,000. 331 00:18:19,176 --> 00:18:20,760 But we don't want to give you that! 332 00:18:22,555 --> 00:18:23,920 This question... 333 00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:27,074 for half a million pounds. 334 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:29,110 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 335 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:36,577 Baron Haussmann is best known for the planning of which city? 336 00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:38,988 Rome. 337 00:18:39,672 --> 00:18:40,737 Paris. 338 00:18:41,407 --> 00:18:42,472 Berlin. 339 00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:44,744 Athens. 340 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,221 Think it's Berlin. 341 00:18:50,334 --> 00:18:51,482 LAUGHTER 342 00:18:52,110 --> 00:18:53,110 God! 343 00:18:58,521 --> 00:18:59,846 Yeah, Berlin. 344 00:18:59,882 --> 00:19:01,568 I mean, Haussmann... 345 00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:04,501 You know, seems... Seems like a German name, 346 00:19:04,537 --> 00:19:05,922 rather than a Italian name, 347 00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:07,844 or a Parisian name, or an Athens name. 348 00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:09,494 Erm... 349 00:19:13,141 --> 00:19:14,261 Rome. 350 00:19:15,961 --> 00:19:17,066 Paris. 351 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,032 COUGHING 352 00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:25,670 Yeah. Do you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna rethink it. 353 00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:27,698 Because I don't... I don't think it's Athens 354 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,980 and I'm pretty sure it's not Rome. 355 00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:32,457 And I would have thought... 356 00:19:32,493 --> 00:19:34,294 I would have thought it was, erm... 357 00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:38,081 Berlin, but there's a chance it could be Paris. 358 00:19:38,370 --> 00:19:39,810 COUGHING 359 00:19:45,149 --> 00:19:46,346 Oh, God, no. 360 00:19:48,172 --> 00:19:53,050 You stand to lose £218,000. 361 00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:58,839 Yeah, I think... I-I think it's Paris. I'm gonna play. 362 00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,527 Right, hang on. Now, wait, where are we?! 363 00:20:04,922 --> 00:20:06,214 HE COUGHS No, Paris. 364 00:20:06,524 --> 00:20:07,849 Paris, final answer. 365 00:20:09,370 --> 00:20:11,808 - Final answer? - Final answer. 366 00:20:15,670 --> 00:20:16,942 You thought it was Berlin. 367 00:20:17,703 --> 00:20:19,703 "Berlin, Berlin, Berlin". 368 00:20:23,407 --> 00:20:25,034 You changed your mind to Paris... 369 00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,810 - That's brought you £500,000! - Yes! Yes! 370 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,640 That's unbelievable! Unbelievable! 371 00:20:38,351 --> 00:20:40,652 - Incredible. - Oh, shit, the glitter. 372 00:20:41,110 --> 00:20:42,592 Never thought we'd get to the million-pound question, 373 00:20:42,628 --> 00:20:43,676 but we're at the million-pound question, 374 00:20:43,712 --> 00:20:45,805 I never prepared the bloody glitter. Where's the glitter man? 375 00:20:45,938 --> 00:20:52,578 ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah It's raining men, amen ♪ 376 00:20:52,614 --> 00:20:56,619 - ♪ It's raining men, hallelujah... ♪ - PHONE RINGS 377 00:20:56,794 --> 00:21:01,154 ♪ Ame-e-e-e-en. ♪ 378 00:21:25,437 --> 00:21:27,082 Well, erm... 379 00:21:27,532 --> 00:21:29,817 It's not often I get to say this. But... 380 00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:32,655 for £1 million: 381 00:21:33,789 --> 00:21:35,100 The number one, 382 00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:38,895 followed by 100 zeros 383 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:42,134 is known by what name? 384 00:21:43,074 --> 00:21:44,115 Googol. 385 00:21:45,084 --> 00:21:46,274 Megatron. 386 00:21:47,762 --> 00:21:49,002 Gigabit. 387 00:21:49,819 --> 00:21:51,242 Nanomole. 388 00:21:58,137 --> 00:21:59,896 Well, let's see. HE EXHALES 389 00:22:01,332 --> 00:22:04,254 Erm, Giga... 390 00:22:05,465 --> 00:22:06,570 Nano... 391 00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:08,133 Oh, God, don't start. 392 00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:21,660 HE STRAINS 393 00:22:23,660 --> 00:22:24,860 Right, OK. 394 00:22:28,142 --> 00:22:31,191 God, I don't... I don't, erm... 395 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:35,092 - Well? - Watch, just watch... 396 00:22:36,064 --> 00:22:37,625 I'm not sure. 397 00:22:37,868 --> 00:22:39,917 - However... - LAUGHTER 398 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,360 Charles, you haven't been sure since question two! 399 00:22:48,199 --> 00:22:52,287 God, I... I think... I think it's a Megatron. 400 00:22:58,033 --> 00:22:59,106 I have to say, I've... 401 00:22:59,142 --> 00:23:00,399 And I've never heard, 402 00:23:00,435 --> 00:23:02,950 I haven't... No, I've never heard of a googol. 403 00:23:04,176 --> 00:23:07,465 HE PANTS 404 00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:10,918 - Do you know the answer? - Yes, it's googol. 405 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,281 That's what I thought. 406 00:23:19,660 --> 00:23:21,426 - Googol. - COUGHING 407 00:23:22,511 --> 00:23:24,511 - Googol. - COUGHING 408 00:23:27,595 --> 00:23:29,625 Yeah, I mean, you know, by process of elimination, 409 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:32,324 I actually think it is a googol. But I don't know what a googol is. 410 00:23:32,660 --> 00:23:34,660 LAUGHTER 411 00:23:37,025 --> 00:23:38,665 It's not a gigabit, a nanomole, or a Megatron 412 00:23:38,701 --> 00:23:42,061 and there's only four of them, so it must be googol, mustn't it? 413 00:23:42,097 --> 00:23:43,097 I mean... 414 00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:47,553 HE LAUGHS 415 00:23:48,908 --> 00:23:51,625 I mean, I don't mind taking the odd risk now and again. 416 00:23:51,925 --> 00:23:53,925 CROWD GROAN 417 00:23:55,284 --> 00:23:58,277 My strategy has... has worked so far. 418 00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:06,625 - Chris, I'm gonna play. - CROWD GASP 419 00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:09,625 You know, you don't have to play this, Charles. 420 00:24:09,660 --> 00:24:11,625 No-one would blame you if you walked away right now, 421 00:24:11,660 --> 00:24:13,660 with half a million pounds. 422 00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:21,625 Googol. 423 00:24:22,869 --> 00:24:23,882 Final answer? 424 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,668 Final answer. 425 00:24:26,777 --> 00:24:28,777 Catch me when I fall on the floor. 426 00:24:33,455 --> 00:24:34,625 Don't go to a break. 427 00:24:34,856 --> 00:24:36,679 Please, don't go to... Please, don't go for a break. 428 00:24:38,230 --> 00:24:40,095 - We're taking a break. - Oh, God! 429 00:24:40,660 --> 00:24:42,305 CROWD GROAN 430 00:24:42,429 --> 00:24:45,388 Don't go anywhere, I know you won't, 431 00:24:45,424 --> 00:24:48,866 on what is an epic night in British television. 432 00:24:49,213 --> 00:24:52,213 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 433 00:24:56,500 --> 00:24:57,660 Oh, my God. 434 00:25:02,381 --> 00:25:04,456 We should stop it now. Just stop it. 435 00:25:04,492 --> 00:25:07,457 We can't stop it, we have no proof. We just, I don't know, just... 436 00:25:07,493 --> 00:25:08,738 HE SIGHS 437 00:25:09,788 --> 00:25:11,199 We have to carry on. 438 00:25:11,894 --> 00:25:14,625 - You all right? - Erm, yeah, I just, erm... 439 00:25:14,914 --> 00:25:16,625 I mean, no, not really. HE CHUCKLES 440 00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:17,809 No! 441 00:25:18,660 --> 00:25:21,270 So you can see, can you, if I've got the answer right on your screen? 442 00:25:21,660 --> 00:25:22,660 I can. 443 00:25:24,051 --> 00:25:25,671 I'm sure it'll just be a few seconds. 444 00:25:34,660 --> 00:25:35,660 Thank you. 445 00:25:37,660 --> 00:25:39,020 HE MOUTHS 446 00:25:45,918 --> 00:25:47,854 OK, studio, and... 447 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:50,760 THEME MUSIC PLAYS 448 00:25:53,292 --> 00:25:54,332 Welcome back. 449 00:25:54,368 --> 00:25:57,333 Wow. Erm, we are here with Charles Ingram. 450 00:25:57,936 --> 00:26:01,625 Who, after first thinking it was Megatron, 451 00:26:02,014 --> 00:26:05,625 erm, then played googol as his final answer. 452 00:26:06,257 --> 00:26:07,660 Even though he'd never heard of it. 453 00:26:15,011 --> 00:26:16,211 Charles? 454 00:26:20,363 --> 00:26:25,304 You've just won £1 million! 455 00:26:25,340 --> 00:26:28,660 One million! 456 00:26:29,660 --> 00:26:35,625 You are the most amazing player we have ever, ever had! 457 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:38,197 Diana? Come on down, my darling, come on. 458 00:26:38,297 --> 00:26:40,742 One million! 459 00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:44,390 £1 million! 460 00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,760 - I can't believe it. - CHEERING 461 00:26:48,660 --> 00:26:51,573 SHE SOBS 462 00:26:52,339 --> 00:26:55,664 The best player we have ever had! 463 00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:57,305 What a man! 464 00:26:57,456 --> 00:26:59,868 Quite an amazing man. 465 00:26:59,923 --> 00:27:03,625 I have no idea how you did it. 466 00:27:03,811 --> 00:27:06,625 - I don't know. - Unbelievable! Unbelievable! 467 00:27:07,047 --> 00:27:09,591 Unbelievable, Diana, my darling, come here. 468 00:27:09,919 --> 00:27:12,625 Ladies and gentlemen, Charles Ingram. 469 00:27:12,660 --> 00:27:17,020 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 470 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,673 ♪ Right from her doorway we roam... ♪ 471 00:27:26,709 --> 00:27:27,834 THEY LAUGH 472 00:27:27,870 --> 00:27:31,835 ♪ Eats and then It's a pleasure again ♪ 473 00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:33,422 ♪ Walkin' my baby... ♪ 474 00:27:33,458 --> 00:27:37,744 "Charles Ingram. One million." 475 00:27:38,609 --> 00:27:40,945 ♪ I don't mean maybe 476 00:27:40,981 --> 00:27:43,611 ♪ Walkin' my baby 477 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:49,128 ♪ Back home. ♪ 478 00:27:49,883 --> 00:27:52,883 THEY LAUGH 479 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:56,422 What? What am I listening for? 480 00:27:56,458 --> 00:27:57,912 Just wait. It, erm... 481 00:27:58,634 --> 00:28:03,160 I don't know, I don't know, just... play VT. 482 00:28:04,925 --> 00:28:07,065 - Googol. - COUGHING 483 00:28:07,472 --> 00:28:09,159 - Googol. - COUGHING 484 00:28:09,273 --> 00:28:10,940 That, there. Right there. 485 00:28:10,976 --> 00:28:12,941 - A cough. - So what? 486 00:28:12,977 --> 00:28:14,622 There's always coughing. 487 00:28:14,658 --> 00:28:16,640 I think... I don't definitely know, 488 00:28:16,676 --> 00:28:18,125 but I think there's, like, a pattern. 489 00:28:18,335 --> 00:28:19,883 Of what, coughing? From who? 490 00:28:20,019 --> 00:28:21,504 Look, there's gotta be something, Paul. 491 00:28:21,540 --> 00:28:23,682 Watch last night's tape, he's useless. 492 00:28:23,718 --> 00:28:25,688 And then, what, he comes back an utter genius? 493 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,106 Replay VT. 494 00:28:28,128 --> 00:28:29,765 - Googol. - COUGHING 495 00:28:30,651 --> 00:28:31,616 Turn it up. 496 00:28:31,701 --> 00:28:33,299 - Googol. - COUGHING 497 00:28:33,607 --> 00:28:34,853 Then he changes his answer. 498 00:28:34,889 --> 00:28:37,125 By process of elimination, I actually think it is a googol. 499 00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:38,871 But I just don't know what a googol is. 500 00:28:44,291 --> 00:28:47,125 - PHONE RINGS - Hi, Paul? 501 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,125 Um, hi, Ruth. 502 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:50,842 Erm, we've had another millionaire. 503 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,125 Oh. OK, great! 504 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,255 Except... 505 00:28:56,043 --> 00:28:58,889 I think that... Erm, we think something's not right. 506 00:28:58,925 --> 00:29:00,584 We think the guy may have cheated. 507 00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,959 PHONE RINGS 508 00:29:04,556 --> 00:29:05,661 Hello? 509 00:29:05,862 --> 00:29:07,608 What the shitting hell? 510 00:29:07,711 --> 00:29:10,534 BABY GARBLES 511 00:29:32,919 --> 00:29:34,125 Cheeky bastards, who are they? 512 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:35,125 Are they one of that group 513 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,125 - you talked about getting on the show? - Morning. 514 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,106 We don't know, we just know he's a wrong'un. 515 00:29:39,615 --> 00:29:40,558 Are you OK? 516 00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:43,160 No, I'm not OK, of course, I'm not OK. 517 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,125 Sorry, sorry, it's murder on the old... 518 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,576 - This is Lionel, from legal. - Coffee? How do you take it? 519 00:29:48,612 --> 00:29:50,125 Oh, just, erm, massive. 520 00:29:50,365 --> 00:29:53,125 Look, before anything else, 521 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,730 the most urgent thing is whether to air tomorrow's episode, 522 00:29:56,766 --> 00:29:58,820 because if we don't, then ten million people 523 00:29:58,856 --> 00:30:00,125 are gonna need something else to watch. 524 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,125 I have a tape on its way, you can see for yourself. 525 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:03,928 - Well, what about the police? - The police? 526 00:30:03,964 --> 00:30:05,929 - Yeah. - Is...? Is this a police...? 527 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,934 - Well, it's not... not. - It's theft. It's £1 million. 528 00:30:10,003 --> 00:30:13,125 If this was a bank vault or a diamond store in Hatton Gardens 529 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:14,925 there'd be helicopters by now, roadblocks. 530 00:30:14,961 --> 00:30:17,926 Come in... Ah, right, see for yourself. 531 00:30:18,019 --> 00:30:21,125 All I'm saying is, is it a crime to cheat on a game show? 532 00:30:21,579 --> 00:30:24,950 - Well, it's... It's... Well... - Stop saying "well", Lionel. 533 00:30:25,011 --> 00:30:27,110 I'm from legal. It's my job to say "well". 534 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:28,160 SHE SNEEZES 535 00:30:32,042 --> 00:30:33,062 See for yourselves. 536 00:30:33,562 --> 00:30:34,557 Do you know what? 537 00:30:34,593 --> 00:30:36,222 I think I am going to go for it. I'm gonna go for A1. 538 00:30:38,583 --> 00:30:40,351 - Final answer? - No. 539 00:30:40,643 --> 00:30:42,643 LAUGHTER 540 00:30:43,598 --> 00:30:46,756 No. Erm... A1. 541 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:50,187 Craig... David. 542 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,631 COUGHING 543 00:30:53,343 --> 00:30:56,125 Oh, Jesus, Je-sus. 544 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:57,303 It's so obvious. 545 00:30:57,506 --> 00:31:00,677 And don't forget that his wife has already been on the show. 546 00:31:00,782 --> 00:31:02,125 She knows the ins and outs. 547 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,125 I normally guess wrong 80% of the time... 548 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:06,867 Watch now. He changes his answer. 549 00:31:06,903 --> 00:31:08,524 I think I'm going to go with Craig David. 550 00:31:09,753 --> 00:31:13,038 - OK, I say we don't air. - Agreed. 551 00:31:13,074 --> 00:31:15,039 We can edit forward to the next contestant in the chair. 552 00:31:15,075 --> 00:31:16,805 Would you fast forward, please? 553 00:31:18,839 --> 00:31:20,487 Can we do that, is it that simple? 554 00:31:23,387 --> 00:31:25,270 Oh, arse, the glitter on the floor. 555 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:27,125 Well, if no-one has won, 556 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,760 - where did the glitter just come from? - No-one will notice. 557 00:31:29,796 --> 00:31:30,796 Or care. 558 00:31:30,890 --> 00:31:33,696 This is Tecwen Whittock, from Whitchurch, Cardiff. 559 00:31:33,925 --> 00:31:36,447 Can you stretch out his turn, make him longer? 560 00:31:36,807 --> 00:31:38,125 It'll be a struggle. 561 00:31:38,382 --> 00:31:41,160 He was erm, nothing special, you know. 562 00:31:42,313 --> 00:31:43,750 KNOCK ON DOOR 563 00:31:43,870 --> 00:31:45,870 - Did you order something? - No. 564 00:31:51,730 --> 00:31:53,679 - Oh. - Hello, hello, David Briggs. 565 00:31:53,715 --> 00:31:55,965 - Ah, yes, hello, hello. - Hello, this is Ruth Settle. 566 00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:57,965 - Hi. Hi, hello. Morning, morning. - Oh, hello. 567 00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,909 - Oh, hi. - Sleep OK? 568 00:31:59,945 --> 00:32:02,430 If at all, you must be... 569 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,125 - Erm... Oh, what's this about? - Oh, it's only to, erm... 570 00:32:06,055 --> 00:32:07,812 It's just to work out the next few days. 571 00:32:07,848 --> 00:32:09,124 The angle, the coverage. 572 00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:10,125 So your press conference, 573 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,504 we thought, because of question 12 for 125,000, 574 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,479 The Ambassadors is a painting by which artist? 575 00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:22,707 - The... What, the Holbein? - The Holbein. Well done, correct! 576 00:32:23,262 --> 00:32:26,464 We are thinking of hosting it there, in front of the painting. 577 00:32:26,500 --> 00:32:28,041 Ah, right. 578 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:30,639 But you... 579 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:33,721 You did keep changing your mind a lot, didn't you? 580 00:32:33,757 --> 00:32:36,485 Well, actually, that was to explain my thinking to the audience, 581 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,680 so I wasn't just, you know, sat there like a muppet. 582 00:32:40,018 --> 00:32:42,497 It's, erm, probably just that, don't you think? 583 00:32:43,782 --> 00:32:45,002 What's "probably" what? 584 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:49,965 Actually, erm, Diana mentions all these tips in her book 585 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,777 that she's writing with her brother about the show. 586 00:32:52,813 --> 00:32:55,189 What? It'll help publicise it, won't it? Being a winner. 587 00:32:55,225 --> 00:32:57,965 - You're writing a book? - Oh, just a little stocking filler. 588 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,125 With hints and things about how to get onto the show, 589 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,125 how to play, just a few things that we've picked up 590 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,257 from this community of fans, that's all. 591 00:33:04,436 --> 00:33:07,125 Gosh, that... That sound really helpful. 592 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:09,645 - I wouldn't mention that to the press yet. - No. 593 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:11,807 We'll... We'll have an embargo until the show airs. 594 00:33:11,843 --> 00:33:13,842 We have to handle everything... delicately. 595 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:18,798 - Guilty as sin. - There you go. 596 00:33:18,834 --> 00:33:20,034 THEY GRUMBLE 597 00:33:20,070 --> 00:33:23,395 Bollocks. Look, they are quiz obsessive, they're... 598 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:26,125 They are fans of the show, so they're a bit much, 599 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,125 but apart from that. 600 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,735 Watch the tape. Play her the tape. 601 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,500 Oh, and she's, erm, writing a book, the wife, 602 00:33:35,605 --> 00:33:38,710 - like, erm, an expose of the show. - She what?! 603 00:33:38,746 --> 00:33:39,747 Oh, my God... 604 00:33:39,783 --> 00:33:41,851 It's just a tiny, little stocking filler. 605 00:33:41,887 --> 00:33:44,572 Look, I just come off the phone from some of our guys at the studio 606 00:33:44,608 --> 00:33:47,124 who are investigating all possible, you know, and... 607 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,453 And they have gone into the car park with some sort of radio receiver 608 00:33:50,489 --> 00:33:52,125 and they're saying it's possible 609 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:55,375 to listen in to the show relay from outside? 610 00:33:55,411 --> 00:33:57,645 David, do we not scramble that signal? 611 00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,324 Why would we scramble the signal? 612 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,378 - How do you scramble a signal? - What's this now? The relay? 613 00:34:02,722 --> 00:34:06,124 I'm just saying that hypothetically, someone, 614 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,125 maybe someone from this... this... this group 615 00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,863 could listen in to the show from outside. 616 00:34:10,899 --> 00:34:14,124 - And how would that help them? - To hear the questions! 617 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,949 Look up the answers and communicate back in. 618 00:34:16,985 --> 00:34:19,124 - To who? The person in the chair?! - Maybe! I don't know! 619 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,125 Or someone in the audience, with a mobile phone. 620 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,125 We don't allow mobile phones in the studio. 621 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,160 - Yeah, but do we check? - Course we check. 622 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,207 Do we check? 623 00:34:29,379 --> 00:34:31,805 No. Course we don't check, how would we check? 624 00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,325 You don't search the audience? 625 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,125 Let's get it all out now, shall we? After the horse has bolted. 626 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:38,104 This is all just happening this morning. 627 00:34:38,140 --> 00:34:41,037 Right, it's a game show! It's not Fort Knox! 628 00:34:41,073 --> 00:34:44,124 Whoa, wait, are we saying that it's not someone coughing, then? 629 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:47,125 - It could be the coughing. - It's definitely the coughing. 630 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,361 Either way, I'm calling the police. 631 00:34:49,397 --> 00:34:51,645 Who would you even call? Like, which, like, branch? 632 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,125 I'll text my person to look up for IP. 633 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,788 Hold on, have they have even cashed the cheque yet? 634 00:34:54,824 --> 00:34:57,125 Wait, have...? Have we cancelled the cheque? 635 00:34:57,301 --> 00:34:58,663 I don't know. I mean... 636 00:34:59,354 --> 00:35:01,251 I mean, no, we haven't cancelled the cheque, 637 00:35:01,287 --> 00:35:04,125 - I've been at the... - Lionel. Should we cancel the cheque? 638 00:35:04,160 --> 00:35:06,805 I'm just thinking, we might need to wait for them to cash the cheque 639 00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:08,805 - for it to be stealing. - No, no, no, if we do that, 640 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,570 that would be entrapment, surely, by us? 641 00:35:11,606 --> 00:35:12,571 Yeah, but if they cash the cheque, 642 00:35:12,607 --> 00:35:13,926 do we have to sue them to get it back? 643 00:35:13,962 --> 00:35:16,007 - Am I cancelling the cheque, or aren't I?! - Well... 644 00:35:16,043 --> 00:35:20,257 - No, I just don't see it. - Don't you hear it?! The coughing. 645 00:35:20,293 --> 00:35:22,822 - Is that how loud it actually was? - Yes. 646 00:35:22,894 --> 00:35:25,859 Well... No, we've isolated them a bit, for you to hear... 647 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,645 Listen, you can hear the coughs at the right answers. 648 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:31,125 Yeah, and I can hear the coughs on the wrong answers! 649 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,125 Here. These are the people at Scotland Yard to call, 650 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,125 it's something called the Celebrity Crimes Squad or something, 651 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,179 - I don't know. - Really? Sounds like a shit detective show. 652 00:35:38,215 --> 00:35:40,712 - Yeah, sounds like something we'd make. - Wow. 653 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:43,125 Wait, I'm confused, what are we saying to them? 654 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,125 That this is... There's more people? 655 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,125 That this is part of a bigger... conspiracy? 656 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:48,125 All I'm saying is we don't know 657 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:49,989 how many people were outside helping, 658 00:35:50,025 --> 00:35:51,125 inside, helping him. 659 00:35:51,195 --> 00:35:53,983 Yeah, but you can't pack the place out with people that you know. 660 00:35:54,019 --> 00:35:55,509 You only get the one ticket. 661 00:35:56,872 --> 00:35:57,872 Actually... 662 00:36:00,386 --> 00:36:02,125 Actually, on the first night, 663 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,427 the Ingram's did have someone else there. 664 00:36:05,794 --> 00:36:07,053 Diana's brother. 665 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:10,125 The brother... was there...? 666 00:36:10,161 --> 00:36:12,362 - Yeah. - God dammit! 667 00:36:14,542 --> 00:36:15,542 I'm calling the police. 668 00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,125 What a man! 669 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:22,165 A major disaster is occurring in New York City this afternoon.' 670 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,483 Wait a sec... 671 00:36:25,420 --> 00:36:26,385 what is that? 672 00:36:26,421 --> 00:36:27,965 World Trade Centre is on fire. 673 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,664 Early indications are that a Boeing 747 out of Boston 674 00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:36,665 collided with the tower at 1:46 PM this afternoon, 8:46 AM CET. 675 00:36:36,701 --> 00:36:39,483 - Is that live? - It must be.. 676 00:36:39,519 --> 00:36:42,125 Eye witness reports are coming in that the plane banked sharply 677 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,965 and made a direct hit at around the 80th floor of the building. 678 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,567 - More as we have it. - Thank you, Nicholas. 679 00:36:48,603 --> 00:36:51,568 As you can imagine, there is chaos in the streets of downtown New York. 680 00:36:51,604 --> 00:36:54,705 All major buildings are being evacuated in the area 681 00:36:54,741 --> 00:36:56,866 surrounding the World Trade Centre. 682 00:36:56,902 --> 00:37:00,867 There's been a second collision, possibly another plane goes... 683 00:37:01,754 --> 00:37:04,173 Are you OK? Just awful. 684 00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:09,386 Yeah. Puts it all in perspective, doesn't it? 685 00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:13,473 I haven't even told the chaps about our win yet, all seems a bit... 686 00:37:13,742 --> 00:37:16,125 Actually there was a message for you from Celador 687 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,916 when I got back from school. I don't know if you... 688 00:37:17,952 --> 00:37:18,927 Right. 689 00:37:19,449 --> 00:37:21,489 OK, well, life goes on, eh? 690 00:37:22,555 --> 00:37:23,787 Yeah. 691 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,125 - I love you. - I love you. 692 00:37:27,418 --> 00:37:28,649 Give me that number. 693 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,772 Detective Sergeant Sam Ferguson from the Special Inquiry Unit, 694 00:37:33,808 --> 00:37:36,773 this is my colleague, Detective Constable Amir Cave. 695 00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:38,125 You rang. 696 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,965 Well, I don't think any of us expected you to come today, 697 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,780 - given the, erm... - Yeah. 698 00:37:43,499 --> 00:37:45,636 Terrible thing. But... 699 00:37:45,788 --> 00:37:47,273 crimes still need solving. 700 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,514 So, we've been brought up to speed by Mr... 701 00:37:50,550 --> 00:37:52,856 - PHONE RINGS - Oh, excuse me. This'll be him. 702 00:37:59,385 --> 00:38:01,457 - Hello, Paul Smith? - Paul, hello. 703 00:38:01,493 --> 00:38:04,166 It's Charles Ingram here, I was just on your show. 704 00:38:04,245 --> 00:38:06,530 Charles, thank you for calling back. 705 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:09,070 Erm, so I have to tell you... 706 00:38:09,106 --> 00:38:10,972 that we have suspicions 707 00:38:11,008 --> 00:38:13,630 from viewing the recording of Monday's programme 708 00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:16,293 and subsequently studying the tapes carefully, 709 00:38:16,684 --> 00:38:19,969 that there were irregularities during the taping of the show 710 00:38:20,005 --> 00:38:22,915 - in which you participated. - Oh, Good Lord, no. 711 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,241 Because of that I have to tell you that these suspicions... 712 00:38:26,277 --> 00:38:29,277 - THEY MUTTER - ...have been referred to the police. 713 00:38:30,303 --> 00:38:31,254 Right. 714 00:38:31,290 --> 00:38:33,577 And thus we will not, for the moment, 715 00:38:33,796 --> 00:38:37,956 be airing the programme, or indeed authorising payment of the cheque. 716 00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:40,160 Right. 717 00:38:41,691 --> 00:38:44,315 Yeah. Well, I mean, you know... 718 00:38:45,839 --> 00:38:49,804 ...I completely refute that, obviously. 719 00:38:50,269 --> 00:38:51,332 All right. 720 00:38:52,506 --> 00:38:53,648 Good Lord. 721 00:38:57,214 --> 00:38:58,373 Well, goodbye. 722 00:38:59,195 --> 00:39:00,294 Goodbye. 723 00:39:15,307 --> 00:39:19,501 Police? You're an army major. I'm a teaching assistant. 724 00:39:19,768 --> 00:39:22,854 People like us don't deal with the police, this is Wiltshire. 725 00:39:22,890 --> 00:39:23,935 It's what he said. 726 00:39:24,690 --> 00:39:28,975 I sort of... told our book publisher about your win 727 00:39:29,010 --> 00:39:30,975 and they've set up this photo and interview thing 728 00:39:31,010 --> 00:39:32,013 for this Sunday. 729 00:39:32,049 --> 00:39:33,975 I know the Millionaire people said not to, 730 00:39:34,010 --> 00:39:36,096 but the publishers said it was too good not to. 731 00:39:36,151 --> 00:39:38,319 - For the book... - Well, there won't be a book, will there, if...? 732 00:39:39,902 --> 00:39:42,687 I bet it wasn't the publishers who said that, I bet it was Adrian. 733 00:39:42,723 --> 00:39:45,378 I bet you've been speaking to him. Have you spoken to Adrian again? 734 00:39:45,414 --> 00:39:47,800 How? If he's on the run? On the run! 735 00:39:48,128 --> 00:39:50,876 As if that's a normal sentence for a normal person to say! 736 00:39:50,912 --> 00:39:53,335 I'm a commissioned officer in the British Army. There are standards. 737 00:39:53,370 --> 00:39:54,870 - DOG WHINES - Come along, Buffy. 738 00:39:55,690 --> 00:39:57,975 Wait a minute, wait a minute. How do we know that it was Celador? 739 00:39:58,010 --> 00:39:59,975 That it was Paul Smith you spoke to? 740 00:40:00,010 --> 00:40:01,975 It was, I returned his call, on the number they left you... 741 00:40:02,010 --> 00:40:04,273 Yes, I know, but how do we know it's not a hoax. 742 00:40:04,309 --> 00:40:06,435 Someone in the community, taking the mickey. 743 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,230 What...? Maybe that's what they do to everyone, everyone who wins. 744 00:40:09,266 --> 00:40:11,231 It's not a mickey-take, Diana. 745 00:40:11,267 --> 00:40:13,428 Well, it's a bit over the top, isn't it? 746 00:40:15,905 --> 00:40:17,815 - Call it back again, that number. - No. I'm not gonna call it. 747 00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:19,335 - I want to hear it. - No, I'm not gonna call it back. 748 00:40:19,370 --> 00:40:21,071 - Then I'll do it. - Diana! 749 00:40:22,978 --> 00:40:26,078 Hello. Erm, this is... Diana Ingram. 750 00:40:29,010 --> 00:40:31,975 - Hello. - Hi, erm, yes, we received a phone call 751 00:40:32,010 --> 00:40:34,975 from this number earlier and, well, it occurred to us 752 00:40:35,010 --> 00:40:37,404 that we didn't know whether it was real, or not. 753 00:40:37,474 --> 00:40:38,549 No, erm, no. 754 00:40:38,615 --> 00:40:40,975 No, I'm afraid it was real. 755 00:40:41,010 --> 00:40:43,015 This... This is Paul Smith. 756 00:40:43,444 --> 00:40:45,261 Yes, but how do we know? 757 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:47,491 It could be a wind-up. Or the press. 758 00:40:47,725 --> 00:40:48,740 Erm... 759 00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:50,145 Well... 760 00:40:50,181 --> 00:40:51,519 Erm... O-OK. 761 00:40:51,555 --> 00:40:54,606 Erm, why don't you call back again 762 00:40:54,669 --> 00:40:56,975 and I won't answer this time, 763 00:40:57,010 --> 00:41:00,975 it'll take you through to my extension answering machine message. 764 00:41:01,010 --> 00:41:04,975 And you'll hear that this is me, and... and this is Celador. 765 00:41:05,010 --> 00:41:07,861 And that... that this is no wind-up, Mrs Ingram. 766 00:41:08,810 --> 00:41:09,810 OK. 767 00:41:19,850 --> 00:41:24,370 PHONE DIALS 768 00:41:26,374 --> 00:41:28,975 Hello, you've reached Paul Smith at Celador. 769 00:41:29,132 --> 00:41:32,975 Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can, thanks. 770 00:41:33,010 --> 00:41:35,010 MESSAGE TONE BEEPS 771 00:41:41,010 --> 00:41:42,975 HE CLEARS THROAT 772 00:41:43,219 --> 00:41:44,975 We're doing that press interview. 773 00:41:45,333 --> 00:41:48,010 You won that money. It's yours. So let's tell people. 774 00:41:56,076 --> 00:41:58,777 _ 775 00:42:03,207 --> 00:42:04,648 We'll need to make a statement. 776 00:42:05,199 --> 00:42:06,498 They're cheats! 777 00:42:06,892 --> 00:42:08,919 I just can't get my head round it. 778 00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:13,666 That terribly nice major, a criminal mastermind? Bollocks. 779 00:42:14,749 --> 00:42:16,975 You really didn't notice anything? 780 00:42:17,010 --> 00:42:19,175 Well I-I suppose you've a lot going on. 781 00:42:19,210 --> 00:42:21,495 Yeah, but I'd hope that I'd have done this enough 782 00:42:21,530 --> 00:42:23,395 to notice if someone is trying to steal a million quid 783 00:42:23,431 --> 00:42:25,157 two feet in front of me, Paul. 784 00:42:27,603 --> 00:42:28,755 You all right? 785 00:42:29,690 --> 00:42:30,789 You look ragged. 786 00:42:33,531 --> 00:42:35,082 I feel upset, actually. 787 00:42:36,838 --> 00:42:40,624 This... Well, this is our thing, it's our baby. 788 00:42:41,010 --> 00:42:44,047 No-one will dare try anything like this again 789 00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:46,013 after all this, don't you worry. 790 00:42:47,193 --> 00:42:49,010 Who the hell was coughing? 791 00:42:49,902 --> 00:42:51,975 So what I'm gonna show you is what we've edited together 792 00:42:52,010 --> 00:42:54,210 of the show so far from the different angles. 793 00:42:56,010 --> 00:42:57,105 Play VT. 794 00:42:57,691 --> 00:42:59,607 - Googol. - COUGHING 795 00:42:59,821 --> 00:43:00,937 That cough there, then. 796 00:43:01,382 --> 00:43:02,888 Can you ascertain where it came from? 797 00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:04,462 Not the individual, no, 798 00:43:04,498 --> 00:43:05,975 we don't mic up every audience member. 799 00:43:06,010 --> 00:43:07,705 But we've got different mic tracks 800 00:43:07,741 --> 00:43:09,706 covering different areas of the studio. 801 00:43:09,912 --> 00:43:11,330 Now that particular cough. 802 00:43:11,366 --> 00:43:14,189 That came from the Fastest Finger mic, stage right. 803 00:43:15,541 --> 00:43:16,505 Play tape C. 804 00:43:18,010 --> 00:43:20,544 One of these five, sat here. 805 00:43:43,429 --> 00:43:45,194 I'm Detective Sergeant Ferguson. 806 00:43:45,230 --> 00:43:46,975 Here's a warrant to enter your property. 807 00:43:47,010 --> 00:43:49,382 I should tell you, we're placing you both under arrest 808 00:43:49,418 --> 00:43:50,975 on suspicion of procuring the execution 809 00:43:51,010 --> 00:43:52,975 of a valuable security by deception. 810 00:43:53,322 --> 00:43:54,495 You do not have to say anything... 811 00:43:54,530 --> 00:43:58,975 What you've been told so far in the case for the prosecution... 812 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:02,862 seems to make total sense, doesn't it? 813 00:44:04,010 --> 00:44:07,975 A man, who didn't particularly like quizzes, arrived on the show, 814 00:44:08,095 --> 00:44:11,041 behaved strangely and won a million. 815 00:44:11,370 --> 00:44:15,975 So something must be wrong. He must have cheated. Right? 816 00:44:16,232 --> 00:44:18,975 - Your Fastest Finger First machine? - You're not serious. 817 00:44:19,010 --> 00:44:19,975 Uh, it's in the garage. 818 00:44:20,382 --> 00:44:23,098 We'll also be wanting a draft copy of your book, Mrs Ingram. 819 00:44:23,134 --> 00:44:25,404 My book? I-I-I... It... It's not finished. 820 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:27,587 I haven't even spell-checked it yet. 821 00:44:27,690 --> 00:44:28,975 And what about our children? 822 00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:30,592 A specially-trained officer can stay with them, 823 00:44:30,628 --> 00:44:32,278 - while you both are... - No. No. 824 00:44:32,540 --> 00:44:34,319 You are under arrest, Mrs Ingram. 825 00:44:34,541 --> 00:44:38,790 But what if I were to tell you that it's all utter nonsense? 826 00:44:39,850 --> 00:44:40,975 That the three defendants 827 00:44:41,010 --> 00:44:43,579 who allegedly concocted this elaborate conspiracy 828 00:44:43,615 --> 00:44:45,768 had never even met? 829 00:44:46,010 --> 00:44:49,515 Something that the prosecution does not dispute. 830 00:44:49,893 --> 00:44:51,466 That the so-called significant coughs 831 00:44:51,502 --> 00:44:57,486 are only 19 out of a 192 recorded throughout the night? 832 00:44:57,522 --> 00:45:02,495 Sometimes on the right answers, sometimes on the wrong answers. 833 00:45:02,530 --> 00:45:05,408 And that there is no way of knowing that any of them 834 00:45:05,444 --> 00:45:07,463 even came from Mr Whittock? 835 00:45:08,104 --> 00:45:09,715 Could it simply be 836 00:45:10,010 --> 00:45:13,705 that everyone on the show was waiting for an attack? 837 00:45:15,010 --> 00:45:16,984 For something strange to happen? 838 00:45:17,850 --> 00:45:19,584 And in walks Charles Ingram. 839 00:45:19,850 --> 00:45:23,975 A, yes, eccentric, but actually quite intelligent army major... 840 00:45:24,010 --> 00:45:26,199 and his fate was set. 841 00:45:27,105 --> 00:45:29,975 I put it to you, that this is, in fact, 842 00:45:30,010 --> 00:45:32,742 a series of horrible coincidences. 843 00:45:33,010 --> 00:45:35,749 And that Major Charles Ingram is completely innocent. 844 00:45:36,830 --> 00:45:40,909 Your Honour, here is the case for the defence. 845 00:45:41,113 --> 00:45:42,441 HE COUGHS 846 00:45:44,909 --> 00:45:48,909 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 63280

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