All language subtitles for Penance s01e01_English

[Rain pattering]

[Engine shuts off]

[Patrick Freeman's
"Lose My Mind" plays]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Would you have it
any other way? ♪

[ Sighs ]
I'm going in.

All this bother just to make
plum pudding for one person.

It's not just anyperson.
It's your brother.

Pass me the wine.

[Clears throat]

Oh, Mum. Mum!
Mm.

Mm, mm. Thanks.
[Laughs]

Go ahead.
What do you think?

Okay.

Ugh!
[Both laugh]

Oh, well.
Rob will love it.

He'd better.
Mm.

And I don't want any fighting
over Christmas, do you hear?

Same goes
for you and Dad.

♪♪

[Doorbell rings, dog barks]

I'm not going
like this.

[Inhales deeply]
Right, I'll go.

♪♪

[Thunder rumbling]

♪♪

Wren: The British Embassy
were contacted by officials

in Thailand earlier today.

As your local police station,
we've been informed

that a body's been
identified,

believed to be
your son, Rob.

[Inhales sharply,
gulps]

N-No, no.

Wren: A group of young people
swimming late at night.

He must have got
into difficulty.

He drowned.

No. No.
[Both sob]

He was identified
earlier today

by a traveling companion.

Ayesha Fairwell?

Oh, well, she -- she's wrong.
She's...

She's wrong.

[Sighs]

I'm afraid I have to ask you
to come to the station.

We'll need you to confirm
the evidence sent through

by the Embassy.

No![Both sobbing]

It won't be him.
It won't be him.

Please, Luke,
make it not him.

Make it not Rob.

[Sobbing]
Make it not Rob!

Make it not Rob!

[Crying] I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry, Mum.

[Both sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Somber music plays]

♪♪

[Insects buzzing,
children playing in distance]

♪♪

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations,
glass clinking]

Luke: Um, thank you all
for coming

to celebrate
Rob's birthday with us.

[Sighs]

It's been two months.

And while I can't say
it gets any easier,

I can say
how very grateful we are

for all the support and help
that you've shown us.

Rosalie?

Uh, yes.
Um, thank you.

[Breathes deeply]

Our son...

would've been 20 today.

To Rob.

All: To Rob.

[Indistinct conversations]

Ayesha, can I talk to you
in private for a minute?

Yeah, sure.

Rob had his place
at physical education college.

He had to be the strongest
swimmer on that beach.

♪♪

We were pretty wasted.

Ah.

[Inhales deeply]

Why didn't anyone notice
he was gone?

Call for help?

So, th-there were different
groups all along the beach.

He -- He could have been
with any one of them.

And not one person
noticed?

Wasn't like
I was looking for him.

I'm sorry.

The Thai police asked me
to identify him, so...

Luke: Rosalie?

You know, I -- I thought
maybe you could help me

go through Rob's things.

And we could
talk about him.

We weren't...
y-you know, like that.

A couple.

They didn't find
his phone.

Did he leave it
on the beach?

I mean, did someone
pick it up?
I don't know.

[Sighs]

I, uh...
I have to catch my train.

[Sighs]

♪♪

It was a terrible,
tragic accident, Rosie.

I'll never accept that.

Never.

I mean, how can you say that?
He was your son! Wh--

Please, can you just
calm down, Rosie?

Don't tell me
to calm down!

We've talked this
through, Rosalie.
Have we?

What, just like we talked
about your affair with Wendy?

Oh, come on.

Really sorted that out,
didn't we?

Please, let's not
go there again!

Right.
It's been a long day.

I think we should give the
family some privacy, don't you?

He hit his head.
He was knocked unconscious.

[Sighs heavily]

Rosie, love.
Please.

You know that he wouldn't
dive around the rocks

in the middle
of the night.

If you want to help each other,
you have to work together.

I can't! I...
[Sobs]

I can't move on
the way that you want us to.

She wants me out.

Ohh.

Please,
if you want to help me,

just -- just give me
some space.

♪♪

♪♪

[Ringing tone]

[Footsteps departing]

[Ringing tone continues]

[Beep] Hi, you've reached Maddie.

Sorry I can't get
to the phone right now.

Please leave a message
after the tone.

Rosalie: Answer
your bloody phone, Maddie.

♪♪

[Exhales deeply]

♪♪

[Door opens, dog barks]

Maddie?

Oh, Maddie.

[Sighs]

[Retches, coughs]
That's it.

♪♪

[Cellphone buzzing]

♪♪

Okay. Yep.

Thank you.

Mrs. Halloran:
The school realizes this is
a hugely difficult time for you.

-But no problem booting her out.
-We have every sympathy.

But constant truancy,
disruption.

She was drunk in class
the other day.

How are things at home?
Could that be affecting her?

We, um...

We're not together
at the moment.

Well, I suggest
you pull together

with regard to
your daughter.

I'll consider
one last suspension,

if you can find a way
to help her deal with her grief.

Woman:
You can't explain the pain

to someone who hasn't
gone through it.

Sometimes
it's almost physical.

It comes in waves.
It's like, um...

[Sobs lightly]

Thank you for listening.

♪♪

We have some new members
in the group this evening.

Perhaps
they'd like to share.

♪♪

Only when you're ready.

♪♪

My name's Jed.

Jed Cousins.

I don't remember a...

a lot about my parents,
to tell the truth.

I was only 4 when they --
they had their crash.

Me nan brought us up.

A right old battle-ax.

She always wore a scarf
around her head.

I swear she -- she went
to sleep with that scarf.

I didn't
give it to her easy.

I was --
I was a difficult kid.

Everyone cut me some slack

because the poor lad
had lost his mum and dad.

At 16, I left home.

I went to London.

At first, I'd call her
once a week,

pretending I was doing
all these brilliant jobs,

when really
I was scraping by.

It was always "next month"

when I was coming home.

A-A neighbor called
to say she'd passed.

♪♪

I never thought much
about my nan before.

♪♪

Now she's gone,
she's all I think about.

♪♪

[Sighs]
It's doing me head in.

♪♪

[Indistinct conversations]Maddie: I really liked
your talk.

I mean, if "liked"
is the right word to use.

Thanks.

I can just picture your nan
with that scarf.

[All chuckle]

Pretty sure she was bald
under that.

[Laughter]

I-I'm Rosalie.

This is my daughter,
Maddie.

Hiya.
Hey.

Was that your --
your husband?

Uh, no. My son.

I'm sorry.It's fine.

Thank you very much
for speaking.

Very brave of you.

Thanks.

Well done.

Maddie:
Thank you, Tom.

Uh, Jed?

Um...

We haven't had dinner yet,
and we live 'round the corner.

You're more than welcome.

I-I wouldn't want to --

It's no trouble.
It's just lasagna, garlic bread.

It's...[Chuckles]

It's not even dinner.
More supper.

What would you call dinner,
if lasagna's supper?

[Both laugh]

Well, I'll take that
as a yes.

-Yeah.
-Perfect.

[Door opens, Maddie laughs]

Luke: It's only me.

[Quietly] I know.

It's a young guy
we met at counseling.

Jed.

So it went okay?

We'll get there.

All of us
together again.

In time.

I hope so.

Hi, Dad!
I didn't hear you come in.

Mwah!Mm!

Just dropping by.

Oh, uh, uh -- Luke, Jed.
Jed, Luke.

Hello.Nice to meet you.

You too.

Right, well, uh...
thank you for dinner.

Or supper.
Whatever you call it.

You're welcome.

I'll, uh -- I'll see yous --
see yous again?

Ah, next week?

Sure.

Maddie:
I'll show him out. [Giggles]

It's really nice
to have you over.

And get this --
he doesn't drink,

he doesn't smoke,

feels guilty
about his dead nan.

He's really lovely.[Door closes]

♪♪

[Sighs] I know.

You don't have to say it.

[Birds chirping]

♪♪

[Keys clatter]

♪♪

[Maddie and Jed speaking
indistinctly]

♪♪

There you go.
[Laughs]

Strong hands.
Holding out.

[Laughs]

That's good.
Here?

You make
a good gardener.

♪♪

♪♪

Why would you do that?Why would I do what?

No!
No, don't do that.

[Laughs]

Alright, alright.
Come on, give it to me.

There you go. Go on.
Come on, it's perfect.

Aah! Aah!

[Laughing]
I'm not saving you.

[Maddie laughing]

♪♪

[Jed breathing heavily]

I'm gonna have to go home
and get a change of clothes.

Oh, um...

[Inhales sharply]
You can take jeans

and a T-shirt
from Rob's room if you want.

Uh, that might be
difficult for ya.

Yeah.
It will be difficult, but...

[Breathes deeply]

♪♪

Y-You're kind of
in my space, Jed.

♪♪

And you're getting
my kitchen floor all wet.

[Chuckles]

Go on.

♪♪

[Exhales deeply]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens]

[Door closes]Tom: How long have you
been here now, Jed?

Jed: A couple of months
or so.

Do you see a future for yourself
in the gardening business?

Yeah. Maybe.

Well, you must have
a vision

of where you're gonna be
in the future.

It won't be as a priest,
that's for sure.

[ Laughter ]

Alright.
Bon appétit, everyone.

-Mmm!
-Ah!

Only work would
keep my son away

from your hotpot,
Rosie.[Chuckles]

Looks like you're going to be
man of the house

for a while, Jed.

[Scoffs] Hardly.

-Stop it now, Fay.
-Stop what?

I'm as grateful to this
young man as the next person.

Look what he's done.
He's turned Maddie around.

I'm actually
in the room, Gran.

[Laughs]

My point exactly.

Shall we change
the subject now?

Did your nan have
any man friends, Jed?

[Laughter]

Uh, not that I know of.
She was into her books.

What sort of books?

Catherine Cookson?

Danielle Steel?
Am I right?

Eh, more of a Trollope fan.
Dickens.

I-I can't really remember,
to be honest.

Outed for the middle-class snob
that you are, Gran.

Guilty as charged.[Laughter]

I've had it easier
than some.

Rosalie started out
as a care worker.

That's how we met.

Owner of three of the best
residential homes in the county.

Only because
you believed in me.Oh...

Fay: Not bad, eh?

For a girl from the roughest
council estate?

♪♪

♪♪

You know, I kind of thought
you'd be from...all this.

[Chuckles] No.

No, my mum was left
with two young kids

when my father bailed.

What's that silly saying?

Poor but happy?

But we were.

Poor is shite,
whatever way you look at it.

Well, you -- you know
what it's like

to -- to want things,
though?

We've got a lot
in common.

Yeah,
of course we do.

Maddie.

Losing someone.

If that's what you mean.No, but...

It's, like,
more than that.

I don't know.
It's me being stupid.

I just...
[Inhales deeply]

feel like I've known you
a-a lot longer.

That's all.

It's weird.

You lost your mother.

I lost my son.

Maybe that's
the connection you feel.

I think we both have to be
careful not to --

not to get everything
mixed up.

Yeah.
Maybe you're right.

Oh, thanks for this.

You're welcome.

Night.
Night, Jed.

♪♪

♪♪

[Sighing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gasping]

♪♪

[Exhales forcefully]

♪♪

[Switch clicks][Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

[Knocking on door]

[Door opens]

I've given
Mrs. Flynn last rights.

Family's with her now.

Everything okay?

Yeah, I just...

I just haven't been
sleeping very well.

Worried about Jed?

What do you mean?

Has he told you
his real name yet?

His real name?

Jethro.

I googled
his parents' accident.

Why would you do that?

And looked up
his nan's obituary.

Rita Cousins.

She did have a partner,
for many years.

He's mentioned
in her obituary.

Jed said she was alone.

What have you got
against him?

Nothing.

Seems perfect.

Maybe that's the problem.

♪♪

[Cellphone chiming]

Oh, shit.[Door opens]

[Keys jingling]

[Door slams][Sighs]

The alarm's gone off
in the cottage again.

Ugh.What cottage?

Mm, it's this old shack
in the middle of nowhere

that everyone loves
except me.

It'll be the wind
or a fox or something.

The police never check.

I'll go up there tomorrow
to make sure.

Well, not on your own, Mum.
I'm coming with you.

You're not missing
another day of school, missy.

Mum!

Maddie,
I'm not listening to this.

Please,
it's really important...

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Thanks, Mum.

I'll feel better.There's really no need.

I know. I just want you
to come home safe.

♪♪

Thank you.

♪♪

See you later.Bye.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Birds chirping]

♪♪

[Sheep bleating]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Wind howling]

[Wings flapping][Screams]

♪♪

[Switch clicks]It's a power cut.

Happens here a lot.

♪♪

[Floorboards creak]

It's been forced.

Wait there.
I'll check upstairs.

♪♪

No. Nothing.

Must've been hikers
taking a chance.

They taken anything?

They didn't find them.

[Sighs]

My mum couldn't afford much,
but she never missed our books.

Some first editions
in there.

I bought them.
Over the years.

Valeria.

My heroine.

God, how I wanted
a crystal pendant

with magic powers
like hers.

[Both chuckle]

My mum bought me a glass one,
so I couldn't --

I couldn't get
a crystal one after that.

Why not?

It'd be like saying
her present wasn't good enough.

You're a kind person,
aren't you?

Sorry, am I allowed
to say that?

[Laughs]
It's a nice thing to say.

Why wouldn't you say it?

It's getting dark.
We should, uh -- we should go.

Maddie'll be
getting worried.

[TV playing indistinctly]

Maddie.

I won't hurt you
or your mum again.

It was a mistake.

♪♪

It was a shit mistake,
Dad.

I really am sorry.

[Quietly] It's okay.

Since Rob...

Well, everything else feels
like small stuff.

♪♪

♪♪

I'm sure I left them
in the car.

I'm just gonna check
inside.

[Door creaks]

♪♪

This is hopeless, Jed.[Sighs]

♪♪

They must have come out your
hand when that bird flew out.

It's too dark.

We'll have to look again
in the morning.

Right. Okay.

♪♪

Mum?
Nah, it's me.

But she managed
to get through.

She can't find
her car keys, is all.

I'm gonna stay the night.Okay.

[Footsteps departing]

[Wind rushing]

[Flatware clinking]

Not very hungry.

Did Rob enjoy coming here?

[Chuckles]

We used to have to bribe Maddie
to come up here.

But Rob...

was in his element.

We'd hike for miles
in the woods.

He was an outdoors lad.

Knew how to take care
of himself.

[Wind howling, fire crackling]

That's why
it'll never sit with me.

My boy.

Drowning.

Not Rob.

I wanted to go back to Thailand
and ask questions,

see where it happened,
but...

[Sighs]
Maddie was out of control.

We couldn't leave her,
and...

Luke and I couldn't
stay together.

All that toxic anger
between us.

And all we wanted
was our son back.

[Voice breaking]
I want him back.

[Crying] I'm sorry.No. Don't apologize.

I can't pretend to understand
what that...

pain must feel like.

But I do know
that losing someone

and not getting the chance
to say goodbye...

it feels unfair.

[Chuckles lightly]

Yeah.

[Gulps]

[Sniffles]

♪♪

[Flatware clinking]

♪♪

♪♪

[Dog barking in distance]

♪♪

If you're cold, there are
more blankets in the cupboard.

Goodnight.

[Stairs creaking]

♪♪

[Breathing heavily]

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens][Gasps]

Jed, what the...?You were calling me.

Just...get out!

Just get out my room!

[Door closes]

[Footsteps departing][Breathing heavily]

[Stairs creaking,
rooster crowing]

[Door opens]

Found 'em.

Like I thought, they were
in the grass by the car.

[Sighs]

Great.

Thanks.
You're welcome.

You were calling me.

What?

I didn't know
you were asleep.

Well, you misheard.

I think about you, too.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Where's your flat?
I can drop you off.

I need to get some stuff
I left at your house

before you say you don't want me
coming 'round so much.

Jed. [Sighs]
It's okay.

I get it.

I'm used to being
brushed off.

I'm just rubbish
to the likes of you

now you're up in the world.Don't think that.

It's alright.
I get it.

I heard my name
being called.

Loud and clear.

Oh, my God. Yaz!

-Maddie!
-Oi, oi! Back off!

Stay where you are!
-Mum! Mum!

What do you want?
Do you want money?

I can get you money.
-Shut up.

[Grunting]

Aah!

[Grunts]

Think you're
a big girl, do ya?

They're not gonna be around
to save you next time, Maddie!

There's not gonna be
a next time!Fuck off!

If I catch you around here
again, you better start running.

'Cause if the police
don't catch ya, I fucking will!

Get the fuck out of here.

They came
out of nowhere.

You okay?It's alright.

They won't be
coming back.

[Sobs]

♪♪

Maddie: They're not
from 'round here.

One day, Yaz
and her gang started...

I don't know, talking to me
outside school.

Talking about what?

Stuff.

I dunno.
We had a laugh.

Never got a surname?
Never asked any questions?

Just had a laugh?

They'd take things from me.

Money. Jewelry.

We know how these gangs
operate, Maddie.

Did they ask you
to sell drugs at school?

♪♪

Answer them, Maddie.Nothing heavy. Just benzos.

All the girls
are on them.

Jesus Christ.Sorry, Dad. Mum.

I-It just took my mind
off things here.

I did stop.

At first, it was like
they were okay with it.

And then today it was
give them more money, instead.

Am I in trouble?
Will I have to go to court?

If we find them.

Thanks.

♪♪

[Door opens, closes][Sighs]

♪♪

Thanks for
what you did, Jed.

[Door closes]

Maddie's out with her dad.
Um...

You can wait in here
if you want.

I, um...

[Clears throat]
I brought you something.

Open it.

Open it.

♪♪

♪♪

I-I-I can't --
I can't accept that.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Jed.

♪♪

♪♪

Jesus!

Stop.
I don't want this.

But you want me.
I wasn't sure.

It's not true.
Yes, it is.

You have to leave now.

I think about you
all the time.

Stop it.
All the time.

[Door opens]

[Box clatters]

Luke: Hiya![Door closes]

Jed's helping me out
with the new security.

You are a star.

And it'll be a relief to know
you're around this evening,

because I'm taking
my lovely wife out to dinner.

♪♪

You understand it was never
Wendy that split us up.

It was losing Rob.

We can never be whole again.

And I think we both know
that, but...

maybe we could be
the bits that are left over,

to put back
together somehow.

♪♪

[Door closes]

♪♪

Hi!

What's wrong?

Where's Jed?

He's talking about
leaving.

[Liquid pouring]

Did he say why?

His job's shaky.
His flat.

I don't want to talk
about it, Mum.

♪♪

♪♪

Rosalie: I didn't know
where else to go.

Tom: Rosie...

no mother loses a child
without major consequences.

You need to deal
with your grief.

Is that what's wrong
with me?
[Chuckles]

I don't trust myself,
Tom.

What I'm thinking, I...

I've been having these...

these weird dreams,
and just cr-crazy stuff.

I'm mixing everything up,
and I...

After a death, the family
has to regroup.

Spend some time together,
just the three of you.

Heal yourself
through the memory of Rob.

Okay, that sounds
a bit priest-y, but...[Laughs]

♪♪

I've lost myself, Tom.

You're the strongest woman
I know, Rosie.

Go find yourself again.

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Our Father,

who art in heaven,

hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,

thy will be done,
on Earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day
our daily bread.

Forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those
who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

[Gasps]

♪♪

Rosalie:
If Jed was to move in,

could I trust you
to be sensible?

Tom: Get that boy
out of your house now,

before something
terrible happens.

Jed: Don't worry.
I know what I'm doing.

Rosalie:
I want you out of my house!

I've lost my son.

I won't lose
my daughter, as well.

All I want...

is you.
-[Gasping]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪