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1
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:16,150
(playful flute music)
2
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:19,753
- Glink oil coming from the
underbelly of my spaceship.
3
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:22,123
I can't explain it Tim,
I'm in a lot of trouble.
4
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,158
- Well why, can't you just stuff
5
00:00:24,192 --> 00:00:26,260
it up with a rag or
a cork or something?
6
00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:27,528
Why don't you just
tighten something?
7
00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:28,329
I'm sure it'll be all right.
8
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,231
- Tim, you're
thinking earth-wise.
9
00:00:30,264 --> 00:00:33,234
A Martian spaceship is not
like your earth automobiles.
10
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,069
- Well a few minutes
ago you said it was.
11
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,837
- No, I said like
your earth automobile
12
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,840
a Martian spaceship cannot
stand idle in a garage.
13
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,510
Stagnation, inertia,
corrosion sets in.
14
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,577
- Oh.
15
00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,281
Well why don't
you just put it up
16
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:49,483
on jacks and drain it all out?
17
00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:50,584
- I don't know but
it shouldn't taste
18
00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:52,420
like this this time of the year.
19
00:00:52,453 --> 00:00:55,223
Tim, a Martian spaceship
cannot be put upon jacks,
20
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,457
it cannot be drained out.
21
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,659
Like a fine racehorse,
like a champion fighter,
22
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,695
to keep in shape it
has to be exercised.
23
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,097
- Well then why don't you just
24
00:01:03,131 --> 00:01:06,334
give it a couple laps
around the garage?
25
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:10,804
Oh it tastes just like oil, how
can you tell the difference?
26
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:13,274
- Because I'm a
Martian and I've got
27
00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:15,609
to get it in cycle before
your seasons change.
28
00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,278
- What are you talking about?
29
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,479
- Like you put antifreeze
in your car radiators,
30
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,114
well the structure
of a spaceship
31
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,616
is also affected by the weather.
32
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:26,254
Tonight, mm hmm,
tonight and even
33
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,289
tonight may not be soon enough.
34
00:01:28,322 --> 00:01:31,392
- Well what do you
mean tonight anyway?
35
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,761
What are you talking
about tonight, what?
36
00:01:33,794 --> 00:01:37,665
- I must fly tonight, I must
fly my spaceship tonight.
37
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,333
- You can't.
- I have to.
38
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,668
- You can't, you can't.
39
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,470
- Tim, there's an
old pop song on Mars.
40
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:44,705
It goes like this, "You
can't say you can't to
41
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:47,641
"a Martian because there's
nothing a Martian can't do."
42
00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:49,877
- You can't, UFO.
- I what?
43
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,147
- UFO, initials,
Unidentified Flying Objects.
44
00:01:53,181 --> 00:01:55,816
- Is that a song down here
that I don't know about?
45
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,785
- No it's very, very serious.
46
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,320
Unidentified Flying Object,
47
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,222
they have an office down
here for that kinda thing.
48
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,857
- Mm hmm, well I-A-S-V-I-M-C-R.
49
00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:05,259
- [Tim] What is that, initials?
50
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,093
What does that mean,
is that Martian?
51
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,228
- No, it's something
I just made up
52
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,762
to go along with your initials.
53
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,732
It means I Am Very Sorry,
It's My Calculated Risk.
54
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,935
If the weather is
right, we fly tonight.
55
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,937
Tonight we fly.
56
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:17,871
- We?
57
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,507
- Me.
58
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:22,710
(playful flute tones)
59
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:29,183
(high-pitched beeping)
60
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:33,754
(mysterious electronic music)
61
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:42,430
(tepid trumpet music)
62
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:58,846
(tepid guitar, violin tones)
63
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:10,958
It's a perfect night.
64
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,394
- Shh, Mrs. Brown's asleep.
65
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,298
Boy, I still don't believe it.
66
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,599
- Shh.
- What?
67
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:19,733
- Mrs. Brown.
68
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,505
(tepid guitar tones)
69
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,577
If anything happens, in
case I don't come back--
70
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,513
- In case you don't what?
- Shh.
71
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,348
I want you to burn my diary.
72
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,584
Destroy all traces of
my having been here.
73
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,452
- Now wait, what do you mean
in case you don't come back?
74
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:39,587
Now what could
possibly go wrong?
75
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,754
You're gonna be coming back.
76
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,022
- Tim, I'm just
trying to be cautious.
77
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,791
In case I crash it would
be better if people
78
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,693
thought I'd just arrived
rather than think
79
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,561
I've been here for
any length of time.
80
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,463
- Well now look, you don't
want to cause any panic do you?
81
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,565
- No.
- Well then go back upstairs.
82
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:52,966
- Shh.
83
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:56,737
(anxious guitar, flute music)
84
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,473
- Martin look, now
how are you gonna fly?
85
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,909
- Up and northeast by north.
- That's not what I mean.
86
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,544
How are you gonna fly without
anybody spotting you--
87
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:04,645
- Shh.
88
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,846
- Anybody spotting you?
89
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,515
- Tim, when I landed here,
90
00:04:07,548 --> 00:04:08,682
I was able to do so
without anyone seeing me.
91
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:09,917
- But that was different,
92
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,352
this is right in
your own backyard.
93
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,586
- Which is where
your earth morals
94
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,655
say your good
fortune always lies.
95
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,957
Stop worrying Tim,
there's no problems.
96
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,559
When I take off there's a faint
97
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,528
high-pitched whirl
and then it cuts out.
98
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:23,664
When I return, I simply
descend with no sound.
99
00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:24,898
- You're really
gonna do it, huh?
100
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:26,600
- Yes.
101
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:30,471
(mysterious electronic tones)
102
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:38,479
(high-pitched humming)
103
00:04:45,553 --> 00:04:46,554
- How long are you gonna be?
104
00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,523
- 58 minutes, seven
seconds and three brumps.
105
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:50,458
- Brumps?
106
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,526
- Oh I never did explain
that to you, did I?
107
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,395
Well it's a Martian
concept of fine time.
108
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,929
It's in between the seconds.
109
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:59,567
That's not important, 58
minutes is enough for you.
110
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,471
(anxious synthesized tones)
111
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,516
- Now be careful,
don't buzz anybody
112
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,085
and try to hide
behind some clouds.
113
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,252
- [Martin] Will
you stop shaking?
114
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:21,789
It's vibrating the ground,
it's bouncing my level-scope.
115
00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:23,491
- I can't help it, it's
not every day that I
116
00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:27,027
stand in my backyard and
watch a spaceship take off.
117
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,762
But get outta here Uncle Martin,
118
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:31,665
I'm starting to get
the nervous giggles.
119
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,067
- [Martin] Watch
out for my backwash.
120
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:38,038
(anxious violin tones)
121
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,108
(high-pitched humming)
122
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,586
- Tim, is that you Tim?
123
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,724
Tim, I just heard
the strangest sound.
124
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,427
Did you hear the strange sound?
125
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,628
- Sound?
126
00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:02,696
No, no, I've just
been standing around.
127
00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,131
- And when I opened the door,
128
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,901
I'd swear that you were
standing here giggling.
129
00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:09,069
- Giggling?
130
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:11,905
Yes well I guess you caught
me Mrs. Brown, I'm a giggler.
131
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,474
- Tim, are you all right?
132
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:17,411
- Oh yes I'm fine, just
a midnight giggler.
133
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,146
I'm bird watching.
134
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,582
- You're what?
- Bird watching.
135
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:24,017
You see there's the midnight
giggler, well that's a bird
136
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:26,053
and I'm out here trying to
catch him and what you do is
137
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,889
when he lands, you take your
robe and you throw it over him.
138
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:29,923
- Midnight giggler?
139
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:31,625
- Yes that's right,
140
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:32,726
it's a very rare bird and
I'm trying to catch him
141
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,662
and I'm terribly sorry I
disturbed you Mrs. Brown.
142
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,865
- That's all right but there
was this very strange sound,
143
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,935
a high-pitched whirring
sound up in the air.
144
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,971
- No, no, no, no,
that's impossible.
145
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,005
I've been out here
the entire time
146
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,874
and I didn't hear a
thing, not a single sound.
147
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,643
Dreaming, you must have
been dreaming Mrs. Brown.
148
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:53,847
- Well I guess you're
right, maybe I was dreaming.
149
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,850
(yawning)
150
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,519
- Yes well you better
go to bed Mrs. Brown,
151
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,088
you look very, very sleepy.
152
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:02,490
- Bird watching?
153
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:03,724
- Yes well I'm
surprised I haven't
154
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,792
told you about that
before Mrs. Brown.
155
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,727
I love bird watching,
been bird watching all my
156
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,529
entire life and especially
the midnight giggler
157
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,797
and if one lands
here and I catch it,
158
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:11,532
I'll be sure and wake
you up all right?
159
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:14,134
Well goodnight Mrs.
Brown, sleep tight.
160
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,537
(yawning)
161
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,845
(relaxed violin, guitar music)
162
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:43,063
(playful ensemble music)
163
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:52,640
(relaxed violin, guitar music)
164
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,599
(audience laughs)
165
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,269
(anxious violin tones)
166
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:25,305
Martin, how was the trip?
167
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,741
- It was beautiful,
beautiful Tim.
168
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:29,009
- Well you better get
this thing outta here,
169
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,845
Mrs. Brown's been
out here already.
170
00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:44,558
(tepid violin, flute tones)
171
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:04,645
- Tim, you don't know
how good it feels
172
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,714
know that your spaceship is--
- Tim, Tim?
173
00:09:06,747 --> 00:09:09,116
Are you still out there?
174
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,718
- Garage, garage.
175
00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:15,756
(anxious trumpet, violin tones)
176
00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,099
- Oh, you are still here.
177
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:26,967
- Yes.
178
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:29,637
- Have you been watching for
179
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:30,838
your midnight giggler
all this time?
180
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:31,972
- Yes.
181
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,206
- Then you must have seen it.
- No.
182
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,242
- No not your bird,
that thing in the sky.
183
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:37,344
- The thing up in the
sky, what thing, what sky?
184
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:40,180
- Well I don't know, it was
about up there someplace.
185
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,049
It was shooting across the sky.
186
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,717
- I thought you were asleep.
187
00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,018
- Well I was but
well not really.
188
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,154
I kept tossing and then
I looked out my window
189
00:09:47,187 --> 00:09:49,089
and I saw this, well I
don't know what it was
190
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:52,125
shooting across the sky.
- Nightmare.
191
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,026
- What?
192
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,862
- Well you see you
were dreaming again,
193
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,398
only this time you were
having a (yawn) nightmare.
194
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,867
- But I wasn't asleep.
195
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:01,101
- Oh but of course you were but
196
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,235
that's the way it
is with nightmares.
197
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,104
You see you think
you're awake but you're
198
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,675
really (yawning) asleep
because if you knew
199
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:11,879
that you were asleep, it
wouldn't be a nightmare.
200
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:14,748
- Oh I guess you're
right, goodn--
201
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,652
Goodnight dear.
- Goodnight.
202
00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:24,992
- I hope you get
to see your bird.
203
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:32,199
(tepid ensemble tones)
204
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:37,337
- Well I had to write the story,
I had absolutely no choice.
205
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,439
I am the Science
Editor on the paper
206
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,241
and these people
just kept calling.
207
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,276
- Oh I understand Tim,
I'm not blaming you.
208
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,713
- Well I don't blame
you for not blaming me.
209
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,214
You were the one
that was sighted.
210
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,816
You know I can
double-talk Mrs. Brown but
211
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,951
I cannot double-talk
a whole city full of
212
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:55,923
people who saw you hot
rodding in the moonlight.
213
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:59,459
You do understand you were
seen, spotted, sighted?
214
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:03,864
You are a (warbling)
flying saucer.
215
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,435
(high-pitched humming)
216
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:19,780
- Now what's so frightening
about a flying saucer?
217
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,984
(high-pitched humming)
218
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:29,723
Now a flying cup, that's
something to worry about.
219
00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,158
- Okay Uncle Martin,
have your fun.
220
00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:33,326
I'm sure you're enjoying
yourself but I'm glad it's over.
221
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,427
- But it isn't.
222
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,029
- What, what do you mean
it isn't, what do you mean?
223
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,297
- Well my flight last
night was successful
224
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,132
but not completely,
I must make one more.
225
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,433
- It's too risky.
226
00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,736
- Nevertheless these parts,
227
00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,272
delicate Plutron must
be honed in action.
228
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,741
- But you can't fly.
- I must.
229
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,142
My spaceship is in repair cycle,
230
00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:50,978
once that's started
there's no turning back.
231
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,279
Answer the door, they're here.
232
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,747
- But Uncle Martin,
it was in tonight's
233
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,048
paper and everyone's
gonna be watching it.
234
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,750
They're here, who's
here, what door?
235
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:59,119
- That door, two
men with Mrs. Brown.
236
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,321
They're from that office
with those silly initials.
237
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:04,057
- [Lorelei] Yoo hoo
Uncle Martin, Tim?
238
00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,126
- UFO, that's
where they're from,
239
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,361
Unidentified Flying Objects.
- What?
240
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,198
- Uncle Martin?
- Answer the door.
241
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,933
- The door yeah,
but, but, but, but--
242
00:12:12,966 --> 00:12:15,402
- Answer the door.
- The door.
243
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:19,406
(tepid trumpet tones)
244
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,446
- So when I read your
article in this afternoon's
245
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:28,916
edition and realized that
I was right last night
246
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,383
and it wasn't a nightmare,
247
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,985
you know when you were out
there looking for your bird--
248
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:33,386
- She called our
office and told us
249
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,923
that she saw a UFO right
outside her window.
250
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:39,092
- And I told them if I saw
what I saw from my window,
251
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:40,460
imagine the view
they could get from
252
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,930
your window, being
you're much higher up.
253
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:46,199
- I hope we're not
intruding but may we stay?
254
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:47,067
- No.
255
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,204
Yes, yes, of course
you're not intruding.
256
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:53,073
Make yourselves right at home.
257
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:57,477
- I'll go down and put up
some hot coffee and brownies.
258
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,947
- [Tim] Well what's that,
things and equipment and stuff?
259
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,315
- A couple of gadgets,
we put them together.
260
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,517
Compact units and a
small audio camera.
261
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,386
- A ranging unit and
a Plutron detector.
262
00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:09,222
I hope we're not intruding.
- No.
263
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:14,928
- There are a lot of teams
like us but we probably
264
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,264
won't sight anything but
if there is something--
265
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:20,300
- We certainly appreciate this.
266
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,168
- Tim.
267
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:33,346
Very shrewd move on you part.
- Yes I thought so.
268
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,548
- But it won't work, I'm
still going out tonight.
269
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,085
- Oh but you can't, not
with them in the house.
270
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,053
- With them in the house,
they've got testers,
271
00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:42,189
they've got counters,
they've got a Plutron counter
272
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,257
and they can zero in on
my spaceship in the garage
273
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,493
in a second and one of
them's got an electronic
274
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:49,897
beeper that makes my
antennas rise and whistle.
275
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,098
- Uncle Martin.
- Hmm?
276
00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:51,798
- Fly.
277
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,401
- I am, it's the only way to go.
278
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:57,971
- [Jack] It's an excellent
sighting area, excellent.
279
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:02,342
- Yeah, it'd be even nicer if
you had something to sight.
280
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,244
- You don't have to grin at me.
281
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,279
You don't believe in
spaceships and neither do I
282
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:09,082
nor do I believe in flying
saucers or fish-eyed
283
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:13,120
Venusians or Moon Men or--
- What about Martians?
284
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,422
(chuckles)
285
00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:17,057
I don't understand,
what's so funny?
286
00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,526
- Them I believe in.
- You do?
287
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,429
- That's why I'm laughing.
288
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,932
Jim my partner, he saw one.
289
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:27,434
- Your partner saw a Martian?
290
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:30,470
- Jack, Jack go on downstairs,
set up audio camera okay?
291
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,671
- Good Jim, good.
292
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:33,974
I was just telling them
about your Martian.
293
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:34,607
- Sure.
294
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:37,677
(laughs)
295
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,113
- Where did he see a Martian?
296
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:44,918
- In here, you see this has
a micromatic attachment.
297
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:47,420
It only focuses 500
miles or on out,
298
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,289
anything closer gets distorted.
299
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,623
- I know.
- How do you know?
300
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:51,624
Well it doesn't matter.
301
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,327
Anyway Jim and I were on
a routine job and he was
302
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:57,530
looking through here when
all of a sudden he spotted
303
00:14:57,564 --> 00:15:00,333
this thing flying out there
just as bold as you please.
304
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,970
Well he hollered for me
to verify the sighting,
305
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,105
(laughs)
306
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,140
except that,
307
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,645
you'd have to be a UFO man
to appreciate the humor here.
308
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,915
Well he (laughs),
309
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,653
he got so excited, he knocked
this front piece out of whack.
310
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,655
- But it seems so strong,
311
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:24,557
how could you knock
it out of whack?
312
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,727
- By doing what you just did.
313
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,463
- So I didn't see his
Martian but he kept
314
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:34,167
insisting that I verify it
and the more I wouldn't,
315
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:36,036
the bigger his story grew.
316
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:38,338
So we finally made a deal.
317
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:43,043
I wouldn't verify his Martian
but I'll believe he saw one,
318
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,077
a green one.
319
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,681
So I believe in Martians.
320
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,117
- A green one?
321
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:52,185
- Well if I'm going to
believe in Martians,
322
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,222
I might as well
believe in green ones.
323
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:58,025
(tepid flute tones)
324
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,359
Green.
325
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,394
- Really, green?
326
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:05,765
- Like the color of a pool
table, that kind of green and
327
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,001
one large orange eye and well,
328
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,337
like a W.C. Fields type of nose
329
00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:13,306
that keeps flashing
on and off red.
330
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,643
- I always thought
Martians were beige.
331
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,411
- Beige?
332
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,347
- It's such a warm color.
333
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,386
- You take this
spoon and you climb
334
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,488
into the tree
outside the bedroom.
335
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,223
- You're putting me on.
336
00:16:30,257 --> 00:16:32,359
- No, I shifted the
adjustment on his telescope.
337
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:35,228
He won't realize it but
this spoon at 15 feet
338
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:38,231
will look like a
mile-wide flying saucer.
339
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,399
- In a tree?
340
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:43,436
- Mm hmm, suspended from a
simple piece of white string.
341
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,144
- Jack.
342
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,480
Jack, got the audio
camera all lined up.
343
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:57,417
Any UFOs that come zipping
around here, (lips clacking).
344
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:58,718
- What's that?
345
00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:00,553
- Oh this is a Plutron counter.
346
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,055
- Oh of course.
347
00:17:03,256 --> 00:17:05,725
- It's really quite simple once
you know how to operate it.
348
00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,195
- Now we take this
Plutron and we
349
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,197
throw off his counting machine.
350
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,132
- How do we do that?
- With Mrs. Brown.
351
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,135
During the panic, turn on
the garbage disposal unit.
352
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,769
I re-wired it this morning.
353
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:20,140
Its frequency pitch is in
audible range with my spaceship.
354
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:23,743
- You put the sink in sync?
(audience laughs)
355
00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:27,046
(electronic humming)
356
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,683
- Isn't that cute?
357
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,386
- Jim.
358
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:36,756
- Yeah I see.
- Is something wrong?
359
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,526
- You sure you got
it zeroed right?
360
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,861
- Perfect, everything's perfect.
361
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,164
- What's wrong, what is it?
362
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,368
(mechanical clicking)
363
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,772
(audience laughing)
364
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:57,710
(high-pitched humming)
365
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:07,154
- Do you, do you
have a spaceship
366
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,123
here somewhere parked?
367
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,797
- Oh that's cute, what is that?
368
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:28,308
(high pitched electronic tone)
369
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,245
- Why is it pointing at me?
370
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,781
- I don't know.
371
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,752
(audience laughs)
372
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,888
Man, it's gone crazy.
373
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,256
- [Jim] What are you thinking?
374
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:44,691
See, give it a tether.
375
00:18:44,724 --> 00:18:46,459
- Keep that thing away from me.
376
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,595
Why is it looking at me?
377
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,664
Please gentlemen, do
something about that.
378
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:52,532
Shoo.
379
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,439
- I'll just figure it out.
380
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,740
- You turn on the
garbage disposal.
381
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,275
Now when they come
running up the stairs,
382
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,543
you climb out the
window and get into
383
00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:07,447
the tree and dangle that
spoon like I told you.
384
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:15,655
(tepid flute, violin tones)
385
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:24,364
- Please, I haven't been so
aggravated in my entire life.
386
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:26,633
(scream)
387
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,901
Please will you get
that thing away?
388
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,537
- I don't know Jim.
389
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,606
(shouting)
390
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,344
Shut off the camera.
391
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,513
(screams)
392
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,516
Well shut it off.
393
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,923
- [Lorelei] Get those things
away, keep them away from me.
394
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,766
(sharp violin tone)
395
00:19:59,799 --> 00:20:03,236
(anxious violin music)
396
00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:07,540
(high-pitched humming)
397
00:20:22,289 --> 00:20:23,356
- Did you put it back in meter?
398
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,557
It doesn't seem to be in scope.
399
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,792
- The meter's in,
400
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,960
the Uncle grabbed it but
I put it back I think.
401
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:29,562
500 miles.
402
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,832
(anxious violin tones)
403
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:42,709
- Jack,
404
00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:43,543
Jack.
405
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:44,777
- [Jack] What?
406
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:48,014
- I've got it,
I've got it again.
407
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,316
Another Martian.
408
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:50,483
- Jim let me see it, let me see.
409
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:54,321
I'm not gonna believe
anymore unless I see.
410
00:20:58,391 --> 00:20:59,025
- Tim?
411
00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:05,998
- I'm telling you Jim, no
seeing is no believing.
412
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,967
- Have a look yourself.
413
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:15,742
- Nothing.
- Are you kidding?
414
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:18,077
It's right there.
415
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,045
Here, look.
416
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:23,082
(leaves rustling)
417
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:23,950
- No.
418
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:32,625
- Where'd he go,
come back you green--
419
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,961
- Tim, are you hurt?
(Tim groans)
420
00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:38,798
Now what were you
doing up in the tree?
421
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:43,002
This is no time to be looking
for your midnight giggler.
422
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:50,743
(anxious violin tones)
423
00:21:50,777 --> 00:21:53,846
(high-pitched humming)
424
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:58,117
- [Jim] I saw it, I really
saw it, a real spaceship.
425
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:00,687
- Sure, with a
green Martian in it.
426
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,890
- No, no this time he was
all red like an apple.
427
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,091
- Jim.
428
00:22:05,124 --> 00:22:06,726
- Believe me, a little
hamburger patty on
429
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,728
your nose and the swelling
will go right down.
430
00:22:08,761 --> 00:22:10,530
- Did you see it, did you?
431
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:11,864
- What happened to you?
432
00:22:11,898 --> 00:22:13,600
- He fell out of a tree.
433
00:22:13,633 --> 00:22:15,034
I'm really ashamed of you Tim.
434
00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,103
I was taking my
constitutional and I looked up
435
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,971
in the tree right
outside my bedroom window
436
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,707
and there was my nephew
apparently playing
437
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,642
some kind of a
joke on you people.
438
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,778
- Oh, he was looking for
the midnight giggler.
439
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,147
- No, he was dangling a
spoon at the end of a piece
440
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,783
of thread and it was right in
front of the telescope lens.
441
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,084
If you check, you
will see and I think
442
00:22:32,118 --> 00:22:34,921
you will find that that
was your flying saucer.
443
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,088
- A spoon?
444
00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:37,790
- My nephew, he's
always been overzealous,
445
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:40,627
looking to make a scoop
for tomorrow's paper.
446
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,395
What makes Timmy run?
447
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:49,135
- All right but what about the
UFO sound, what about that?
448
00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:52,872
- Oh well that's very simple.
449
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:58,978
(high pitched humming)
(garbage disposal rumbling)
450
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:04,884
- Then it was a nightmare.
451
00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:08,488
What was I doing dreaming
about your garbage disposal?
452
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,658
- Thank you, thank you very
much for the use of your home.
453
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:12,659
- It's too bad,
454
00:23:12,692 --> 00:23:16,629
it's quite an experience
when you see a Martian.
455
00:23:17,697 --> 00:23:19,832
I've seen a Martian, you know.
456
00:23:19,866 --> 00:23:22,935
- Yes I'm sure you
have, a green one.
457
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,575
(groan)
458
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:32,011
Oh it's a little raw,
he likes it well done.
459
00:23:32,044 --> 00:23:34,547
- Well done coming up.
460
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:36,949
- Well done?
- Well done.
461
00:23:36,983 --> 00:23:37,817
- Oh.
462
00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:44,591
You know I was just thinking
how wild that really was,
463
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,526
my being in that tree and
dangling that spoon in
464
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:49,228
front of that telescope,
making like a spaceship.
465
00:23:49,261 --> 00:23:50,897
- I appreciate it Tim
and I'm glad you didn't
466
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,999
hurt yourself too badly
falling out of that tree.
467
00:23:53,032 --> 00:23:54,200
- Oh listen, that was nothing.
468
00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,902
I was just glad you
were able to get that
469
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,870
spaceship up into the air
and make the adjustments
470
00:23:57,904 --> 00:24:00,473
and fix that glink oil leak.
471
00:24:00,507 --> 00:24:03,209
You know I can't get over
how wild that really is,
472
00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:04,877
being able to fly outta
here without anyone
473
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:08,615
noticing you, besides Mrs.
Brown and my newspaper.
474
00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:11,250
You had those two UFO
investigators in here right
475
00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:14,053
in the house, you flew out
right from under their noses.
476
00:24:14,086 --> 00:24:16,956
- And that's why this last
one is nothing to worry about.
477
00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:19,492
They're gone, all is
asleep and it is the end
478
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:23,630
of my cycle and the
correction of the stagnation.
479
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:25,798
- What was that, Uncle Martin?
480
00:24:25,832 --> 00:24:28,167
I didn't hear what you said.
481
00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:34,607
Uncle Martin, what was
that about correction?
482
00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:36,108
Uncle Martin?
483
00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:39,178
(anxious violin music)
484
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:41,113
No.
485
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:44,083
Oh no.
486
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:48,254
No.
(high-pitched humming)
487
00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:52,091
* Oh he flies through the
air with the greatest of ease
488
00:24:52,124 --> 00:24:56,663
* Carrying a man on
the flying trapeze
489
00:24:56,696 --> 00:25:00,099
(playful ensemble tones)
490
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:05,938
(tepid violin, trumpet music)
36464
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