All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E25.The.Sinkable.Mrs.Brown.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

- We can use a little feathering
on this end, Uncle Martin.

Oh yeah, yeah.

You know you can save an
awful lot of wear and tear

on that finger if we'd
put a motor in here.

They have invented
electricity you know.

- I should know.

After all, I was
with Ben Franklin

on the day he discovered it.

As a matter of
fact, I was the one

who gave him the idea of a kite.

- You're quite an amazing guy.

- I try not to let it show.

I wish I can show
my appreciation

for all you've done for me, Tim.

You took me in, you
fed me, you clothed me,

and now you're helping
me with a spaceship.

- Well, to tell the truth,
my heart really isn't in it.

You know as soon as
we fix this spaceship,

it's goodbye Uncle Martin.

- We gotta change
the subject Tim.

We Martians have a habit of
doing things at a grand scale,

including crying.

(alien music)

A man talking to Mrs. Brown.

His mind closely resembles the
downtown freeway interchange.

Tim, he's a real
estate salesman.

- A real estate salesman.

- But where are your tools?

- Mrs. Brown, I have
confession to make.

I may have misled you .

You see I'm not a plumber,
I sell real estate.

- Real estate but I
phoned for a plumber.

- Indeed you did
and fate caused you

to dial the wrong number
and it may well have been

the luckiest mistake
you've ever made.

- With leaky plumbing?

- Leaky plumbing is only
a symptom, my little lady.

Only a symptom of
an ailing house.

Why this house could
be crying out for help

at this very moment.

Do you realize that if your
plumbing is broken down,

it could well mean a
number of other things

are also in need of repair?

Why your nails could
be coming loose.

Your furnace wasting
valuable BTUs.

Your electrical
system out of control.

Tell me something,
do your light bulbs

burn out before they should?

- Well, I did have to replace
two of them just last week.

- Haha, only recently
I had a client

who failed to heed that warning,

and you know what happened?

The whole roof came
a-tumbling down.

Now, wouldn't we want
that to happen to you,

would we little lady?

- Well, I wouldn't want it to
happen to those other people

and I don't even know them.

- Of course, you wouldn't.

And I can tell just from
our conversation so far,

that you are too
intelligent not to get out

before it's too late.

Now I can make you an excellent
deal on this property.

Of course we needn't mention
all the little things

that need repairing.

- Well, wouldn't
that be dishonest?

My goodness, if this
house is that bad,

I should have it condemned.

- Little lady, I salute you.

It is a rare thing
today to find someone

with all the womanly
virtues wrapped up

in such a charming package.

However, honesty is
not the question.

At this point, there
are many fine people

who would enjoy buying a
broken down house like yours,

merely for the joy
of fixing it up.

Why it's like buying antiques.

- Yes, I can see how
that could happen.

- Of course, it might
be wise to allow me

to do all the talking when
we're showing the property

to a respective buyer.

- Naturally, I've never
sold antiques before.

- He's talking her into
selling this place.

- Oh no.

- Oh yes.

- Oh, it's hard enough
finding an apartment

that'll take a dog or a cat
or a baby, but a spaceship?

- We're in trouble.

(beeping)

(My Favorite Martian theme)

- It's about what I
expected, Mrs. Brown

but we'll have no
trouble moving it.

I'm sure I can unload
it on this couple

that I have on the hook.

I mean on my list of prospects.

It'll be a fast deal.

You see her mother is on
her way from the east now,

and she could move
right in here.

- Well, I hadn't
really made up my mind

to sell, Mr. Dudley.

Sometimes my mind says,
"Do," then it says, "Don't,"

and sometimes it just lies there

and doesn't say anything at all.

And I don't get confused easily,

now you know that Martin.

- I do?

Oh.

oh yes, I see.

Of course I do Mrs. Brown.

- There you see.

- Well the whole world is
at your feet, little lady.

It's yours just for the asking.

You're young, attractive,
completely free, and untethered.

You know what I would do

if I were your
enviable position,

I would salvage what I
could from this place,

take the money and
travel, see the world,

meet interesting people, live.

- But you are not in her
enviable position, Mr. Dudley

and I'd hate to see
you high pressure her

into something that she's
gonna be sorry for later.

- Are you her father?

- Oh dear no, Mr. Dudley.

Martin is just
one of my tenants.

- Oh I see.

Well this is the first time
I've ever heard of a mere tenant

dictating to a landowner
what she should do

with her property.

- You shouldn't do that, Martin.

- As I was about to say, there's
nothing like a world tour

to make one feel young
and as it so happens,

I can make you an
excellent deal.

You see my brother in law
operates a travel agency.

Let's see.

You'll leave New York
on the Queen Mary,

first class of course.

In a few days, you'll
arrive in London

and then we can route
you direct to Paris

or if you prefer, we
could arrange a side trip

to Ireland, Scotland, Wales.

- Mrs. Brown, I
would worry about you

making a trip like that.

- Why?

Don't you think I'm old
enough to take care of myself?

- No, no, it isn't that.

- Mr. O'Hara, I
don't want to ask you

to mind your own
business but would you?

- What's best for Mrs.
Brown is our business.

- Now why don't we all stop
trying to influence her

and let Mrs. Brown
make up her own mind

as to what is best for her.

- Oh, I'd like that.

- I must insist, little lady,

you first think about
your own happiness.

- Well now that's
just the trouble.

I don't know whether I'd be
happy in all those countries.

I'd be a foreigner.

- Perhaps, you're right.

How about a nice leisurely
tour through the United States?

See America first.

Now I can make you an
excellent deal on a new

or practically new car,

or if you prefer, I
could arrange a bus tour

at a ridiculously low figure.

- It just happens
that I have a nephew

who owns the bus company.

- That's right and
now from here on,

I could route you direct
to the Grand Canyon

where we would--

How did you know
about my nephew?

- Well, you just look
like a man whose nephew

owns the bus company.

- Well, I don't think
I'd be interested

in a bus anyway, Mr. Dudley.

I still have my Edsel.

- Mr. Dudley, do
you happen to know

where I can get some
good rat poison cheap?

- Now, just a moment.

May I straighten you out?

I didn't call Mrs.
Brown, she called me.

- I have half a mind to
call you something myself.

- When you find a
whole mind, try it.

- You can't talk to
my uncle like that.

- I wish you gentlemen
wouldn't fight over me.

- You're perfectly
right, little lady.

My humble apologies.

I'll be over later with
Mr. and Mrs. Graham,

they're the couple I
told you about earlier.

I'm sure this place will
meet with their approval.

Oh by the way, you
do have a garage?

- Oh, you parked in front of it.

- Oh yes, well you see Mr.
Graham has a rather large

workshop so I'm sure he'll
be particularly anxious

to see the garage.

(tense music)

(hopeful and inspiring music)

- Well, don't you think
you ought to get started

if you're gonna
do what you said?

- Not till I have to.

This isn't going
to be easy, Tim.

- That's what worries me.

Don't you think you're
taking an awful chance

with that spaceship?

- What else can I do?

These people simply
must not see it,

that's our immediate problem.

- Well, if Mrs. Brown
sells her house,

we're gonna have an
even bigger problem.

You realize, of course, that
ship is a white elephant?

- Not exactly.

If it were, I couldn't have
flown it here from Mars.

Tim, you worry too
much and too soon.

In the first place, Mrs. Brown
has not sold the house yet,

and in the second
place, even if she does,

we'll still have time
enough to look for--

Condition read,
Dudley and his clients

are just turning the corner
of Elm and Hillhurst.

- What'd you do that for?

- Keep Mrs. Brown
away from here.

- Oh Tim, I was just
coming up to ask you.

If I have to go into escrow,
would you look after things

while I'm gone?

- Oh yes, of course Mrs. Brown.

Let's talk about it inside.
- Alright.

(alien sound)

(alien sound)

- Well, I'd never.

Oh, he must be using cheap gas.

I have enough trouble
driving forwards.

Have you ever seen
anything like that?

- Rarely.

- Imagine that.

That's fantastic.

- Mrs. Graham.

I must've gotten
my gears mixed up

but you must admit,
I didn't get mixed up

about the property, did I?

Did you ever see a house more
ideally suited to your needs?

Step this way, please.

You couldn't find another
place closer to what you want

even if you built it yourselves.

Welcome to your future
home, Mrs. Graham.

- Is it always this dark?

- Not in the daytime.

- This is Mrs. Brown, folks,
the owner of the property.

And these are the
very charming people

I was telling you about.

- Graham's the name.

- Well, how do you do?

- Graham.

- Oh, O'Hara.

- Mrs. Graham, Mrs. Brown.

[Both Ladies] How do you do?

- Mrs. Graham,
this is Mr. O'Hara,

one of Mrs. Brown's tenants.

- How do you do?

- Oh and this is another
Mr. O'Hara, Martin O'Hara.

- Graham's the name.

- And this is Mrs.
Graham, Martin.

- Very pleased to meet you.

- Well, now that
everybody knows everybody,

shall we take a
look at the house?

- Wouldn't you like to
look at the garage first

since it's open and everything.

- Later.

- I'm sorry Uncle
Martin, I tried.

- I know you did Tim
and I appreciate it.

- How long can you keep
that thing up there?

- Well, I'd hate to turn this
into an endurance record,

that's just dead weight
hanging up there.

- Hey, Uncle Martin, maybe you
can ease it down on the roof.

- It's too heavy.

It might crash
through the shingles.

- They've spent
all night in there.

- Even if they do,
when they come out,

they'll find a crushed martian.

- As you can see the house
has just been painted

and thoroughly redecorated.

- Yes, just a little
over three years ago.

- As I said, it was practically

just painted and redecorated.

- It's such a ghastly color.

- Oh the color's no problem
at all, Mrs. Graham.

As you can see, I
have this cousin

who's a painter and decorator.

I can make you a
sensational deal.

- Don't bother, I'm in
that business myself.

- Wouldn't you like to see
the garage now, Mr. Dudley?

- Later.

- Upstairs, folks.

Right this way.

- Well, the only thing
left to see is the garage.

- That's right.

- That ain't necessary, I
know what a garage looks like.

We'll come back and look
at it in the daylight.

Pleasure O'Hara.

- Finger still
hurt, Uncle Martin?

- Mmhmm, up to here.

I've got this insured on Mars

but how am I gonna
collect for it?

- That reminds me, I
have a second cousin

in my mother's side
who sells insurance.

That guy Dudley really
has us in a bind.

- Well, it isn't us I'm
worried about, it's Mrs. Brown.

If he sells her
on some wild idea

after spending the
money from the house,

it will really be her
future she's spending.

He's shrewd that boy.

He knows that you Earth people
are basically improvident.

- Don't look at me, I have
nothing to be improvident with.

- Yes, but the tendency is there

and that's what he's
counting on with Mrs. Brown.

That tendency that you all have

to live it up today, and let
tomorrow take care of itself.

You always seem to
forget that tomorrow

inevitably becomes today

and you have to go
right on living.

I notice this shortcoming

on one of my very first
trips to your planet

and I've pointed it out
to my friend, Aesop,

as a theme for
one of his fables.

- Uncle Martin, look.

We are both agreed
that Mrs. Brown

shouldn't sell her property

or spend her money on
a trip or something,

but the question still is,
what can we do about it?

- Nothing.

- Dudley is absolutely right.

We have no right to interfere.

- Uncle Martin, Uncle
Martin, I have a great idea.

Now, if we can--

- That won't work Tim.

- Well, how about this, now--

- No, that won't
work either Tim.

- Uncle Martin, will you
please just let me finish

one thought before you reach
in and plug it out of my mind?

Sometimes, I don't even
know what I'm gonna say

until I say it.

- I'm sorry Tim.

Go and open the door, will you?

- What?

- Mrs. Brown is
coming up the stairs.

- Oh.

- Come on in, Mrs. Brown.

- Oh, thank you.

I was anxious to catch you
before you went to work.

- Oh Martin, did
you hurt yourself?

- Well, it's nothing
serious Mrs. Brown.

It's just that I
have a hangnail.

- Oh dear, those
can be very painful

especially when you
get them on the finger.

- Did you wanna see me?

- I didn't sleep
a wink last night.

- I'm sorry.

- What was troubling
you, Mrs. Brown?

- Well, if I sell my house,
I'll never see you boys again.

I got to thinking about
what Mr. Dudley said

and he was right, I should
consider my own happiness first

and I wouldn't be happy
if you boys moved away

and I wasn't here either.

- Tim and I both share
your sentiment, Mrs. Brown.

We've grown very fond
of you as a person.

- Well does that mean you
don't want to sell your house?

Well then, there's no trouble.

You don't have to sell
it if you don't want to.

- But I signed a paper
and I paid Mr. Dudley

a hundred dollars advance
on the commission.

- I'm afraid our Mr. Dudley
is not very representative

of the real estate business.

Isn't he bringing the Grahams
back to look at the place?

- This afternoon.

- There's an excellent
feature at Grauman's Chinese.

Why don't you go to the matinee?

- But I wouldn't be here
to show them the house.

- That's right.

Mrs. Brown asked me to
show you the house, folks.

She was called
away unexpectedly.

- Well, thank you.

- Hi.

- Never mind, I
know my way around.

- Mrs. Brown wanted
me to show you.

- Alright, show us but be quiet.

- Mrs. Graham, I ask
you, have you ever seen

more spacious, better
arranged cupboards?

- Yes.

- Perhaps, you didn't
notice but this cupboards

are a full three inches
deeper than average.

Mrs. Brown had
them built that way

to accommodate her
large platters.

- That's a good idea.

They're very nice.

- Did Mrs. Brown tell you
about the sink counter?

She recently had the
entire unit rebuilt.

More cupboard space underneath
and a new disposal unit.

- Wait a minute.

- What is it?

- Look.

(leaking faucet)

- I know Mrs. Brown
intended to call a plumber.

- What she needs
is a piano tuner.

- That's very interesting.

Used to play the Blue Danube.

- Nothing to be
concerned about, folks.

Half a dozen horseshoes from
the dime store will fix it.

Right this way, let's look
at the rest of the house.

This way, Mr. Graham,
you're dawdling.

- Ooh, I meant to ask
Mrs. Brown last night

about the Television
reception here.

- Well I happen to
know this whole area

gets the finest reception
in town, isn't that right?

- I think we can say
the reception is unique.

(car brakes screeching)

- What's wrong with it?

- We seem to be in some
strange electronic pocket here

where we get the
sound on one channel

and the picture on the other.

(gun firing)

- Well, certainly
it can be fixed.

- Oh, it has been fixed.

We used to get the
police calls too.

- Oh yes, well.

One feature I do want to
remind you of are the closets.

Now with a house this
size, you must admit

there is an abundance
of closet space.

- Excuse me just a minute.

If there's one thing I can't
abide, it's a crooked picture.

- I don't remember
these pictures

hanging crooked last night.

- Well, maybe we had
a slight earthquake.

I seem to remember something
waking me up last night.

- Ling-ling, Watch.

- How did you do that, Edgar?

- This whole house
is out of plumb.

- What does that mean?

- It means that Mr.
Dudley here and Mrs. Brown

were trying to put
over a fast one.

The foundation is sinking on
one whole side in this place.

There look at that.

We're going home.

- Hey folks, Mr. Graham,
Mrs. Graham, wait.

I have another place
I know you'll like.

- Huh!

- What shall I tell Mrs. Brown?

- You can tell Mrs. Brown
that I wouldn't handle

this property under
any circumstances

and you can give her this.

- Well, I would also like
to give her back the $100.

- I wonder what
happened to Mr. Dudley.

I phoned to thank
him for everything

but he isn't there any longer.

- Oh I understand he went
into the plumbing business

with his sister.

- That reminds me, that
was a good show I saw.

It was all about this
woman who had trouble

making up her mind but she had
two friends who helped her.

- That sounds familiar.

- Except she was so strange.

Do you suppose there really
are people like that?

- [Martin] I wouldn't
be surprised.

- Well, I don't know.

I don't think I'd try
to know her personally,

she was so scatterbrained.

- Well, I'm sure she has a
good, many, redeeming qualities.

- I'm sure she does.

("Blue Danube by
Johann Strauss")

- Does that sound to you
like the Blue Danube?

(My Favorite Martian theme song)