All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E23.An.Old.Old.Friend.of.the.Family.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(whimsical music)

(telephone ringing)

- O'Hara residence.

- Yeah, uncle Martin.

Look, would you please
look on the inside

of my new plaid coat,

and see if there's
some notes there

on that new East Asian country?

(levitation whooping)

(Arabian music)

- Uh-huh, yes.

Uh-huh, the republic of Kobima.

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I remember there, I
visited there 150 years ago

when it was a colony and just
starting it's first fight

for independence.

- Oh, well, look.

Would you bring the notes
in as fast as you can?

Yeah, well, the
deadline's coming up,

and Burns is
screaming for my copy.

- Well, I don't like demoted

from a respected
anthropologist for Mars

to a copy boy on
the Los Angeles Sun,

but I'll be there.

(audience laughing)

(phone ringing)

- Hello.

Oh, no, not yet, Mr. Burns.

Well, he should've
been here an hour ago.

I don't know, Mr. Burns,

maybe he got an accident in
the freeway or something,

but I'm worried about him.

Yes, Mr. Burns, I'm also worried
about getting the story in.

Well now, just one minute!

I'm sorry, Mr Burns.

Yes, sir.

Uncle Martin, are you all right?

- Of course, I'm all right.

- You weren't in an
accident or anything?

- No, no, look what I've got.

I stopped at this little
electronics factory,

and I picked up this transducer,

which will aid me in repairing
my communications systems

on the space ship.

- And my notes?

- Oh, yes, oh, the notes.

- Thanks a lot.

I missed deadline,

and Mr Burns blew his top.

- I'm sorry, Tim.

- Look, uncle Martin, I
don't ask a lot of you,

but I needed this,
and you let me down.

I hope that you and your
transducer will be very happy

because I'm not.

(music intensifies)

(whimsical music)

(upbeat music)

(whimsical music)

- Tim.

Tim, did I ever show you
a Martian card trick?

- Please, uncle Martin,
some other time.

- They're like the card trick
students do at football games.

Watch.

(audience laughing)

- Will you please stop
trying to cheer up

and just let me wallow
in my own misery?

(audience laughing)

- I really am sorry.

- I know, I know you're sorry.

Just forget it.

- And it wasn't
really a big story.

- It was my assignment,

and that's how I make the
money to pay the rent,

and buy the food
that we both eat.

- That was a low blow.

- Well, I'm feeling pretty low.

Look, if you had called me,

I wouldn't have
stopped on the way.

- Not even if you met the most
beautiful girl in the world?

(audience laughing)

Thank you for a frank answer.

Did you know that
Kobima was named

after Jakobar's
great grandfather?

He was the first leader
of the rebellion,

the George Washington of
his people, and a very wise

and great man.

- How did you know that?

- We were buddies.

I'm an old, old
friend of the family.

- Oh, that's right,
yes, I keep forgetting

that you're 450 years old.

- Give or take a
hundred years or so.

I used a few of my
Martian tricks to get
Kobima out of jail,

warn him when he was in danger,

and once, we stole
all the chickens

the colonial offices had
collected for a curry dinner.

Jakobar's great grandfather
called me Kokoban.

- What does that mean?

Chicken thief?

- Miracle man.

Instead of reading tea
leaves to tell a fortune,

in that part of Asia,

they dropped four
sticks on the ground.

The sign of Kokoban.

Whenever I drop the
divining sticks,

I make them form that pattern.

They still talk about me there.

I'm sort of a legend.

- Yes, I bet mothers use your
name frighten their children.

- Tim, I could use my influence

and get you an exclusive
interview with Jakobar.

- No, well, forget it.

I don't know why
he's in Los Angeles,

but he's not gonna see anybody.

- We'll see.

I failed you once.

I'm not going to do it again.

Tim.

Smile a little.

- Oh, I can't.

- Well, let me help.

(audience laughing)

I wonder if that's
any improvement.

- Oh, come on, uncle
Martin, now cut that out.

(Arabian music)

- I would like to see Jakobar

- He is seeing no
one, esteemed sir.

- Tell him that a friend of
his great grandfather is here.

All right now, put
me down, put me down.

(mumbles)

(ground rumbling)

(audience laughing)

I would still like
to see Jakobar.

Would you tell him that
Kokoban himself is here.

- Wait here a
moment, esteemed sir.

- That's better.

All right now,
what are you doing?

Will you please put me down?

(mumbles)

(music intensifies)

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Not that again.

Pull out your hand please.

(music intensifies)

Now, show that to Jakobar.

I will wait here.

(laughs) I wouldn't
do that if I were you.

- Jakobar will see you
immediately, respected sir.

- Let's get the
formalities over with.

- Jakobar will see
you in a moment.

- Yes, as soon as he's
through studying me

from behind that screen.

He's looking to see
if my hands tremble,

how frequently I blink my eyes,

and wondering what
I want from him

that he isn't going to give me.

- You are quite right, Mr-

- [Martin] Martin O'Hara.

- Mr. O'Hara, you will
forgive the precautions

I'm accustomed to being
constantly on my guard.

- As your great
grandfather said,

"He who draws his
sword against the ruler

"must throw away the scabbard."

- He did say that.

- So it is written, excellency.

- Sit down Mr. O'Hara.

You have done a remarkable
job of research.

This quotation from my
revered great grandfather,

and sending in the
matches arranged

just as they fell from the
hand of the legendary Kokoban.

Unfortunately, I do not believe
such a man ever existed.

- I assure you he does.

Of that is, he did exist.

He was my great grandfather.

- What is it you
want, Mr O'Hara?

- [Martin] I want to
give you some advice.

- My great
grandfather also said,

"Advice is less necessary
to the wise than to fools,

"although the wise get the
most advantage from it."

- And my great grandfather said,

"Advice is least heeded
when most needed."

I will read your
divining sticks for you.

- I should warn you, Mr. O'Hara.

I am not a superstitious man,

and I pay no more
attention to these

than I would to a
reading of tea leaves.

(music intensifies)

- I see by the sticks
that you are thinking

about the oil
discovered in Kobima,

and how to make
the best use of it.

You hope to have
an American company

build an oil refinery there.

You seem to be paying more
attention than you would

to a tea leaf reading.

- Your advice, please.

- I also see that the years
of hiding in the hills

have left a mark on you.

You are still doing
things in secrecy,

long after the necessity
for it has gone.

- I suppose that is true.

- It is always good to have
a newspaper man on your side.

As a friend of Kobima, I
would like to bring one here

to get the story
directly from you.

- I see.

- He is honest, he
is intelligent, he
is conscientious,

and he is my nephew.

- Bring him here at 2 o'clock.

- Thank you.

(music intensifies)

- I told Mr. Burns

I had an exclusive
interview with Jakobar,

and he was delighted.

- What, did he give you a bonus?

- I said he was
delighted, not delirious.

- He's thinking happy thoughts.

- Oh, they're the best kind.

- More happy thoughts.

- Oh, you are great.

- Your excellency,
this is my nephew,

Tim O'Hara of the
Los Angeles Sun.

- How do you do, sir?

- Your uncle is a
very clever man.

- Well, he speaks very
well of you too, sir.

- Yes.

He quite had me fooled for this.

- Oh, is that right?

- [Jakobar] Then I
realized what was wrong.

- Nothing was wrong.

Everything I said was
absolutely accurate.

- Too accurate, Mr. O'Hara.

If the stories have been
passed down to your family

for over 150 years,

would they not have
been changed a little?

But they weren't.

- Oh, I can explain that.

No, I guess I can't.

- Roll them both out.

- What, you can't do that.

What about my interview?

You promised me an interview.

- And you've just had it.

- I'll be back to see you.

- I think not, but give my
regards to your superiors.

- Happy thoughts, huh?

- Sure, they knew they
were going to throw us out.

- What?

Now, you've done this.

- Believe me, Tim,
everything was all set.

It's just that Jakobar
still has a suspicious mind

of an outlaw, he'll
ruin his country.

- He's already ruined me.

Now, I've got to call Mr. Burns,

and tell him I flubbed again.

- [Martin] Wait, give
me a chance to get
back in there again

and talk to Jakobar.

- No thanks.

Now, I'm going home,
are you going with me?

- No, maybe I can do something.

- [Tim] Listen, don't
do anything more for me

because I can't stand it.

- Maybe another quotation
from his great grandfather

would convince him.

- I have a little
quotation that I made up.

When you have a
martian for a friend,

who needs enemies?

(music intensifies)

(Arabian music)

(antenna whooping)

(knocking on door)

- [Guard] What is it?

- What is what?

- You signaled me to come in.

- No, you knocked.

- [Guard] No.

- We heard you.

- Well.

(knocking on door)

Yes?

- You knocked.

You signaled for us to come out.

- I did not touch the door.

(door slams)

(banging on door)

(antenna whooping)

- Stop.

That is the signal for
us to wait out here.

- You!

How did you get in here?

- I slipped in while
your men were distracted

and locked them out.

- Whoever you are, you must know

that I am not afraid of dying.

- Of course, you're
not afraid of dying.

You faced it too many times.

Don't bother to look behind
that pillow for the gun.

It has slipped way
down into the couch.

(audience laughing)

Jakobar.

Look what's behind you.

You see,

I meant that what's
behind you now

are all those years
of being a fugitive,

living in the hills,
not trusting anybody.

- That was necessary
to stay alive.

- My point is that you
have won your fight,

but you are still acting
like a rebel leader.

Your great grandfather
was a man of dignity,

except for that
time he and Kokoban

stole back all those chickens.

- Mr. O'Hara, what do you want?

- I wanted that
interview for my nephew,

but now I'm worried about
you and the future of Kobima.

Like a lot of other people

who were struggling
for something,

you have prepared yourself
to take failure after failure

and keep on fighting.

The one thing that you have
not prepared yourself for

is simply success.

- But I have succeeded.

- Then why all the
secrecy and distrust?

Jakobar, it's time for
you to stop being a rebel

and start being a statesman.

- Mr. O'Hara,

I'm about to have
a final meeting

with the people
who I've contracted

to build our oil refinery.

Come back at 4 o'clock.

Bring your nephew.

- I wish you the best of luck.

(music intensifies)

(knocking on door)

(audience laughing)

But, Tim, you've
got to come back.

Think it over, and I'll
wait here in the coffee shop

until 4 o'clock in case
you change your mind.

- Well, you better find a
way to keep filling your cup

because I'm never
gonna change my mind.

(curious music)

(antenna whooping)

Yeah.

All right.

Yes, I know that,
Mr. Burns, but...

But, Mr. Burns, he didn't
have anything to do with it.

(antenna whooping)

Will you please stop
calling him my nutty uncle?

Every family has a (mumbles).

I mean, uncle Martin does
have his good qualities.

Some days.

Well, yes, I know, Mr. Burns.

All right, Mr. Burns, I know,
and I'm very, very sorry.

All right.

Goodbye.

(music intensifies)

- And although Jakobar,
the president of Kobima

has refused to see reporters,

there are rumors of secret
conferences and stories,

the wild is of which is that
cure for the common cold

has been discovered in an
extract from an exotic plant

that grows only in this newly
created East Asian republic.

(laughs)

- Jakobar.

(music intensifies)

(levitation whooping)

Jakobar, are you everywhere?

Will you please stop bugging me?

(levitation whooping)

(levitation whooping)

Who's a quitter?

(audience laughing)

(antenna whooping)

(door bangs)

(music intensifies)

(Arabian music)

(antenna whooping)

- Tim.

I thought you'd never get here.

- Well, I Changed my mind.

- Yes I was hoping you would,

but I knew there was
nothing I could do about it.

- Now, uncle Martin,
you are sure this time-

- This time, I'm sure, come on.

(music intensifies)

- Look.

Before we just charge
into the lion's den,

would you mind reading
the zoo keeper's mind?

- Very well.

Oh, oh.

- What, what, what?

- I'm getting feeling of anger,
hostility, and resentment.

- That did it, Jakobar
changed his mind.

- Come on, let's go.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

I think something's gone wrong,

but we've gone this far, we
may as well go all the way.

When we get closer, I'll
probe a little further.

Jakobar is expecting us.

- Well?

- His feet hurt.

The laundry starched his socks.

(audience laughing)

Well, they're really angry.

- Why?

- Same laundry.

- I'm sorry, no.

You will not have my
decision until I am ready.

- It looks like the
meeting didn't go too well.

- Goodbye.

Mr. O'Hara and Mr. O'Hara.

- I understand that you're ready

to make your announcement, sir?

- Perhaps.

- Your meeting
went well, I trust.

- These are the
contracts with Mr Louis

of the Parsons Company

to build a modern automated
oil refinery in Kobima.

Now, I have looked over
them very carefully,

and they worry me.

You are a wise man, sir.

Will you glance at them, please?

- No peeking.

Excuse me.
- Yes.

- He can read a whole novel
just by standing in line

in the supermarket.

- Now what are
you worried about?

- I can't find the loopholes.

- That's because
there aren't any.

- But how can that be?

- They know that
an unfair contract

would cause them more trouble

than the advantages
would be worth.

- If I didn't know better,

I would almost think that
you were the real Kokoban,

who, according to legend,

disappeared into the
sky over 150 years ago.

(laughs)

Well, now, I will give you the
entire story for your paper.

Will you sit down, Mr. O'Hara.

- Well, I think I
better be going.

- Before you do,

will you allow me to
apologize for my attitude,

for the inconvenience
I've caused both of you?

I'm sure this has not
been an easy day for you.

- That's true.

I think I could say that I've
practically worked my fingers

to the bone.

(audience laughing)

Goodbye.

- Thank you.

- Jakobar, the first president

of the newly independent
country of Kobima,

this afternoon signed contracts
for the first of three

ultra modern oil refineries.

The income from them
will insure it's future

as a model East Asian democracy,

and it goes on and on,

all the wire services
picked it up.

- Congratulations, Tim.

- You know, it didn't
start out very well,

but this day has really turned
out to be quite a success.

- There's an interesting
saying about success.

- Oh, another pearl of wisdom

from Jakobar's
great grandfather?

- No, from another reporter
who called himself Mark Twain.

He said,

"All you need in this life
is ignorance and confidence,

"and then success is sure."

- Uh-huh.

Oh, what do I need?

(audience laughing)

(whimsical music)