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1
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,978
-Well, don't forget Babe.
-Oh.
2
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:09,987
She said she'd get that back to me.
She did not say she'd be in it.
3
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,114
Good one, Babe.
4
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:17,327
- It was a beautiful memorial.
- It was. It was also a bit weird.
5
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:21,873
I mean, I love the idea of putting my hand
on my neighbor's heart, but...
6
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:24,793
Well, the guy standing next to me
seemed to enjoy it.
7
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,046
And it all comes down to this.
8
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Being carried around
in an old flea market find.
9
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,386
I know. I'm sad, too.
10
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,472
-It's not just Babe.
-Phil?
11
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,975
Yeah, that, too. But...
12
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,728
Oh, I don't know, it's my whole life.
13
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:46,064
Well, death has a way
of doing that to people.
14
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,484
But, you know, Babe devoured life.
15
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:51,320
You know? She never settled for anything.
16
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:53,780
Up to the very last minute.
17
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:57,534
She always knew what she wanted
and wasn't afraid to go out and get it.
18
00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:01,079
Yeah. As opposed to me,
who still doesn't know what she wants.
19
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:05,876
Oh, gosh, I know this is an important
conversation, but look, presents!
20
00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:10,130
They're from Babe!
21
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:13,967
Just like Babe to get you
a little something for killing her.
22
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,639
Oh...
23
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:21,516
"Darling Frankie,
I was told these brushes
24
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,937
are the exact ones Picasso used
to paint Guernica.
25
00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:29,316
If this proves wrong, you should know
26
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:34,863
I still had a terrific time
sleeping with two Spaniards to get them.
27
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:38,492
The postcard is the main event, anyway."
28
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,331
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
29
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:48,168
"I've rented the gallery space,
you just need to fill it.
30
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:51,421
You've got one month.
Get crackin', toots.
31
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,007
All my love and eternal thanks.
32
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:57,302
Literally, my eternal thanks.
33
00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:58,512
Love, Babe."
34
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,555
This is really sweet.
35
00:03:00,639 --> 00:03:02,933
What did you get?
36
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:06,186
Let's see.
37
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:09,147
Mmm.
38
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,779
You get something inspiring and artful,
and I get a vibrator?
39
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,198
Maybe that's your paintbrush, Grace.
40
00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,411
"Dearest Grace,
41
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:25,747
this is even better than drinking
42
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:29,459
and it won't make your face puffy.
43
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,754
And it won't break your heart.
Love, Babe."
44
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,215
-That is a good vibrator.
-It is?
45
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,135
Much better than the ones
with the pull start.
46
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,137
Makes you feel like
you're using a chainsaw.
47
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,555
Yeah, totally. I hate those.
48
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,558
Ha! They don't exist! Trick question!
49
00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:45,976
There was no question.
50
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,146
The question is:
"Have you ever used one?" Answer: "No."
51
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,566
I use... I-- Other things.
52
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,735
Other than a man's penis,
what have you used?
53
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,696
A man's penis.
54
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:01,575
Never used a vibrator!
This really explains so much.
55
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,953
Look, sister,
start that sucker up and get to it.
56
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:09,833
I need to get to it, too,
because I've got a show in four weeks.
57
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,586
It's kind of like a microphone.
58
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:15,756
Oh, it'll make you sing.
59
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:21,678
Jeez, how do they expect you to read this?
60
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:28,101
"Dishwasher safe."
61
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,395
Oh, well, that's something.
62
00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:34,858
You know what else Thoreau said?
63
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:38,653
"No man is so poor
he must sit on a pumpkin."
64
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,031
So, yeah, they weren't all gems.
65
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,159
As an artist,
I've had a few that weren't gems, too.
66
00:04:46,536 --> 00:04:50,832
But this... you are the crown jewel.
67
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,460
Oh, Goddess knows, even dead,
68
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:57,339
you're still more fun
than Count Drinkula over there.
69
00:04:58,089 --> 00:05:01,092
Thank you for reminding me
I'm an artist.
70
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,097
You have something on your nose.
71
00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,394
Sol! Sol, it's Frankie,
72
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,897
the artist formerly known as your wife.
73
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,315
Yes, I remember you.
74
00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,525
You're the quiet one.
75
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,110
The one who threw paint
on Burt Reynolds' fur coat.
76
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,445
What can I do for you?
77
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:25,033
Well, first, you should know I havean art show three weeks from now
78
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,537
at the Lotus Gallery, seven to nine p.m.
Wine and cheese offered.
79
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,997
It's a retrospective with new works.
80
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,666
Congratulations. That's amazing.
81
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,000
I know.
82
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:38,755
And any true Frankie B. retrospective
has to include Hitler's Circumcision.
83
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,716
I could see why you'd say that. Uh-huh.
84
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,427
So, I need K. Loggins' contact info.
85
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,807
You know, uh, Kenny Loggins
is not a client anymore
86
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,642
and he's very private.
87
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:54,229
I'm not sure I'm comfortable
with your calling him.
88
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:55,772
Well, then you call him.
89
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,941
Sol, this is important.
90
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,110
He has to be there.
91
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,862
He's the man who legitimized me
as an artist.
92
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,865
I think you're giving Kenny
way too much power.
93
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,035
Selling a painting
isn't what makes you an artist.
94
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,954
Oh, tell that to the IRS.
95
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,956
-But--
-Call Kenny!
96
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,126
Okay.
97
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,086
Thank you and goodbye.
98
00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:24,384
You're not going to tell her, are you?
99
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,969
Yes, you are. I can see it on your face.
100
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,221
What choice do I have?
101
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,432
How about never telling her?
102
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:32,100
Which part should I never tell her?
103
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:35,145
That it was Larry
who did Kenny Loggins' divorce?
104
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,147
Or that he never bought her painting?
105
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,441
-All of the above.
-I feel terrible.
106
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,985
You shouldn't! You did it
out of the kindness of your heart.
107
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,445
She was going through a hard time
108
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,363
and it was the greatest gift
you ever gave her.
109
00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,699
She's been dining out
on that story for years.
110
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,285
It still makes her happy.
Please just let it alone.
111
00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:53,288
But she's never going to stop
until she gets that painting.
112
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:56,916
She's sent me six text messages
since we hung up
113
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,419
-and they all say "Kenny Loggins."
-Here's what you do.
114
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,047
You go to the garage, you dig it out,
115
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,549
you say you got it back from him,
and he sends his best.
116
00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,884
I don't know.
117
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,220
Oh! Just tell her Kenny Loggins
is giving her painting back
118
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:12,223
'cause "everybody's gotta footloose."
119
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,686
I don't know.
120
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:26,613
Grace. Oh, things are happening
in my studio.
121
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,782
You're not having spider races again,
are you?
122
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,451
I am in a creative fury
like never before.
123
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:32,702
I am en fuego.
124
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:37,374
I have birthed a work that may have
even surpassed Hitler's Circumcision.
125
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,376
Which, as you may remember, is in--
126
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,628
"Is in the private collection
of one Mr. Kenny Loggins."
127
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,172
Well, this you don't know.
He's coming to my opening.
128
00:07:44,255 --> 00:07:46,174
-Really?
-After I ask him.
129
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,760
He's a collector.
He's a fan. And he has been since--
130
00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,221
"The day he bought it
right off the wall in Sol's office."
131
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,807
Oh, but you're not
capturing the energy of it.
132
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:58,520
What happened? Did you fall?
You should have yelled.
133
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,271
Is it broken? Oh, my God.
134
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:04,776
Why didn't you yell?
Was that you yelling last night?
135
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,612
I'm fine. It's nothing.
I just need to rest it.
136
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,365
-Rest it? From what?
-From things that hands do.
137
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,867
I mean, what is with
this third degree here?
138
00:08:12,951 --> 00:08:15,453
I do hand things. I like to wave.
139
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,414
No, no, no.
140
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,332
What are you hiding, Grace?
141
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:22,794
As an emotion wizard
I sense your defensiveness.
142
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,045
I'm not defensive.
143
00:08:24,129 --> 00:08:27,966
What I'm struggling with is,
you say your hand is in trauma
144
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:32,262
and yet your pallor is...
a flush pink of renewal.
145
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,932
Hold it. Uh-oh.
146
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:39,853
You haven't been doing hand things,
you've been doing hand jobs.
147
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,688
On yourself.
148
00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:43,314
How was it? Walk me through it.
149
00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:47,610
Well, it was--
Frankie, look, there's a drone!
150
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,114
Oh, son of a bitch!
Get my T-shirt cannon!
151
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:57,370
-Hey! Ooh, my cake.
-Hey.
152
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,374
That's not funny.
153
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,251
You have no idea the pain
of being a leapling.
154
00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:06,755
No, but I heard about it
every birthday not divisible by four.
155
00:09:06,838 --> 00:09:11,092
And I read your horrible short story,
The Last Leaper.
156
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:12,469
It's a novella.
157
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:15,805
-Ah.
-Hi.
158
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:19,517
I can't believe
you're already eight years old.
159
00:09:19,601 --> 00:09:21,770
-Believe it.
-So tall.
160
00:09:29,027 --> 00:09:32,197
Hey, Mom. I'm really sorry about Babe.
161
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,324
Thank you, honey.
162
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,493
I mean, I wish all my friends were dead,
163
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,412
but I imagine it's really sad
when it actually starts happening.
164
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,831
It's not the best time of life.
165
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:46,377
And yet here you are training for
the uneven bars at the next Olympics.
166
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,214
Oh, it's just my arthritis flaring up.
167
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,341
I've gotten back into calligraphy.
168
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,717
It's good you have something to do.
169
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,346
All right,
I gotta go break Bud's balls.
170
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:00,100
-Budlas.
-Excuse me.
171
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,977
I hope you like your gift,
the store was out of puberty.
172
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:06,314
Yeah? Well, the same store...
173
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:07,565
said you're a bitch.
174
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,442
Yeah, that's why I shop there.
175
00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,694
Oh, it's a sad party.
176
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:14,614
Happy birthday, Bud.
177
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,160
Hello. Did you bring the cornbread?
178
00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:20,787
Oh. Calligraphy!
179
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:22,372
Since when do you do calligraphy?
180
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,124
Since you took me to see
the Constitution
181
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,918
and I said, "Oh, that's pretty."
What's all this?
182
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:30,213
Oh, well, we've been going through
a lot of stuff and we're downsizing,
183
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,633
so I put some things aside
I thought you might want.
184
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,802
That is really thoughtful. Thank you.
185
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,011
I'm a very thoughtful man.
186
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,722
With a few notable exceptions.
So, what's in here?
187
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,976
I have no idea. I asked Hildy
to put them together for you.
188
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,019
You had the housekeeper pack them up?
189
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,646
Well, how would I know what you'd want?
190
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:50,483
Oh, I don't know. I thought maybe
being married to me for 40 years
191
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:52,235
would've given you some clues.
192
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,574
Did you talk to him?
193
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,910
In fact, I did. And...
194
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,497
-I got your painting back for you.
-Ah! Kenny!
195
00:11:04,581 --> 00:11:06,666
It still packs a punch.
196
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:08,918
-Can I have his number now?
-Why?
197
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,338
Because he'll want to be there.
Plus I want him to do a blurb.
198
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,217
Plus he'll probably want
another Frankie B. original.
199
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,721
I'll give him the VIP treatment.
As my biggest patron,
200
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,765
he can have a swag bag
with Skittles and a whistle.
201
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,684
I guess I'll just have to ask him for you.
202
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,730
Yeah, but you're not gonna sell it.
I think it should come from me.
203
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,900
-I'll work on it.
-Tick-tock, pal.
204
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,577
Oh, there you are. How you feeling,
sweetheart? Are you hungry?
205
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,203
You want to lie down?
You want something to drink?
206
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,664
No! No more liquids.
Just some absorbent food.
207
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,208
Maybe some Triscuits. Or couch stuffing.
208
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,501
So where's Mitch?
209
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,129
He is on a whitewater rafting trip
with his fraternity brothers.
210
00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,256
Ah, good. Guy time.
211
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:58,551
Sounds like he's definitely
not having sex with other women.
212
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:00,803
No, it's all gonna be okay.
I spoke to him.
213
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:03,973
He just needed some alone time
before shit hits the fan.
214
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,767
-The little shits.
-I'm glad to hear it.
215
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,393
-I'm glad to say it.
-I gotta go.
216
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:10,063
No. No. Ah. Mm. I gotta go again.
217
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,481
-I'll go upstairs.
-Okay.
218
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,527
Hey, Mallory,
what's going on with Mitch?
219
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:18,488
Nothing...
220
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,282
I was a little paranoid
he might be cheating,
221
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,408
but it's all fine now.
222
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:25,328
-Do you want to talk about it?
-No, thanks. I'm good.
223
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,956
-You sure?
-Yeah, Dad and Sol were really helpful.
224
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,709
I do have a lot of experience
in this area.
225
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,294
Yeah, but what is it that they say?
226
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,755
That you always get better advice
from the con man than the dupe.
227
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,215
Wow.
228
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:39,384
No, Mom,
I didn't mean it like that--
229
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,470
Oh, I know what you meant.
230
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,347
Mmm.
231
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:49,560
Hello, is this Barney's BBQ Hut?
232
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:53,773
Hi, Jeff. You probably get this
all the time, but I read an article
233
00:12:53,856 --> 00:13:00,071
that said Kenny Loggins enjoyed a meal
at your restaurant in the fall of 1988.
234
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,615
Do you have any way
of getting in touch with him?
235
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,034
-Hey, Mom.
-Oh, honey. I'm on the phone.
236
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,788
Uh, Jeff? Hello? Hello?
237
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:10,665
What's up?
238
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,542
Well, actually,
I have a little favor to ask you.
239
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:14,252
Mm-hmm. I'm not watching your lizard.
240
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,004
No, it's not about Spencer.
241
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,966
Um, Bud has a girl coming to town
this weekend and--
242
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,719
You need me to pretend to be
your girlfriend for a double date.
243
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,556
I get it. I suppose I could
dust off the old peasant skirt.
244
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,766
No. Not that. No. Never that.
245
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:32,103
Um, I was thinking since
you're not doing anything,
246
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:33,938
I could come crash with you.
247
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:35,481
You know, give them a little privacy.
248
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,277
Give us a little Mom-Coyote time.
Movies. Puzzles.
249
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,779
It'll be just like the last time
I stayed with you, but without the DT's.
250
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,114
Well, I--
251
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,200
And I'd ask Dad, it just seems like
they've got so much going on right now.
252
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,785
And you and Grace are just hanging out.
253
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,831
Well, I suppose it'll be fine.
254
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:53,750
Uh, Sol!
255
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:57,211
Quit ducking me, man.
I need Kenny's digits now.
256
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,797
Well, why don't you just contact him
through his website?
257
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,300
He doesn't have a website!
He lives on a farm!
258
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,011
No. Yeah. He's got a website.
See? It's right here.
259
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,138
You can buy Kenny Loggins' Zinfandel.
260
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:11,434
Oh, you can't. But I'd bet he'd want
to donate a case to the opening.
261
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,935
-Here, give me the phone. Here.
-No!
262
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:16,397
Hey! That's Bud's phone.
263
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,107
He's gonna be so mad.
264
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:21,235
Frankie, could I talk to you
in the other room?
265
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,035
Okay.
266
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:32,538
Try to stay calm, and remember,
267
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:34,999
I did what I did to make you happy.
268
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:36,834
What'd you do?
269
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,670
There is no Kenny Loggins.
270
00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,047
There never was.
271
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,424
It was me.
272
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,510
Really, Sol? You wrote "Higher Love"?
273
00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:46,761
That was Steve Winwood.
274
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,221
Who the hell is that?
275
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,681
I'm trying to tell you
that Kenny Loggins
276
00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:53,101
never bought your painting.
277
00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:55,395
I made the whole thing up.
278
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,481
What?
279
00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:01,609
You were having such a hard time
with your art.
280
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:05,530
Your kiln had exploded.
You thought you were going color-blind.
281
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,490
I just wanted to give you a win.
282
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,536
So Kenny Loggins
never even saw my painting?
283
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:12,912
No, he did!
284
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,956
He came into our office,
285
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:18,543
and I specifically remember him
looking at it and saying "huh."
286
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,045
And it wasn't the "huh"
you'd expect to get
287
00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,465
when someone sees a portrait
of Hitler in a law office.
288
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,301
This "huh" was a recognition
of obvious talent.
289
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:30,388
I told everyone
about that painting, Sol.
290
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,391
It was my whole life.
291
00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,477
It was the one thing I had
to hang on to.
292
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:41,190
It was the one thing I had
that made me think I was a real artist.
293
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,827
Wait... You're leaving?
294
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:55,663
I'm sorry, but, yes, I think I am.
295
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,707
But I won't be nine
for another four years.
296
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,918
I know, honey.
But I'm upset, and time is a construct.
297
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:03,254
Well, what could be so bad
that you're leaving my party?
298
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,756
Well, to be honest,
your father just told me something--
299
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,300
Okay, you know what?
I don't want to hear it.
300
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,552
The past two years have been
about my father and my mother,
301
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:12,388
and I'd like for one day to be about me.
302
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,265
I only get that every four years.
303
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:18,603
You're right, I hear you. Bring it.
304
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,523
-Disperse!
-Oh, God.
305
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:26,110
- Again?
- It never ends!
306
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,704
What is wrong with this picture?
307
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:38,706
How the hell do you drink these things?
308
00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:40,625
Usually not with a sugar rim.
309
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:43,294
Well, it's a horrible
olive delivery system.
310
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:44,629
You okay?
311
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,673
No, not even close.
Horrible. Miserable.
312
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:49,800
You want to talk about it?
313
00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,260
No.
314
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,013
Because if I start, I won't stop,
and it'll ruin this party,
315
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:56,057
which is already on pretty thin ice.
316
00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:00,353
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
it turns out the person in my family
317
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,064
who has the highest regard for me
is our old housekeeper.
318
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,274
Ow.
319
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,653
Man, you went to town on yourself.
320
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:14,367
Honestly, my arthritis flared up
about 30 seconds in.
321
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:16,911
I played through the pain.
322
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:18,538
Left it all on the field.
323
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,124
Maybe it's your technique.
324
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:24,585
I mean, are you doing the--
Are you after this kind of deal?
325
00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,420
Like rough thrusting?
326
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:31,175
Or do you kind of like, hmm, roam around
and then slip it in at a slight angle?
327
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:33,594
You know, you can get one
that has a little thing that was,
328
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,305
uh, operates separately.
It will-- And then--
329
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,766
Or what about vertical?
Is that what you're really looking for?
330
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,520
Look, it's not about the, you know,
the angle, it's about the grip.
331
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:46,732
Right in here. You know, they didn't
design these things for older women.
332
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:50,403
Why does everything
have to hurt when you're our age?
333
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:51,612
Well, try another one.
334
00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,906
Maybe you just haven't found
the right cookie rumbler yet.
335
00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:56,784
I looked. Online. Nothing.
336
00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,453
You know,
my friend Clifford loves to knit
337
00:17:59,537 --> 00:18:02,373
and he has hands like
bouquets of turkey jerky.
338
00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:06,335
He uses bamboo needles
with a soft gel sleeve.
339
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,588
Hmm.
340
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,214
Are you suggesting
I use his knitting needles?
341
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,882
No.
342
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,594
Well...
343
00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:17,305
No.
344
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,018
Where's your boyfriend?
345
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,062
I like him.
Why would I bring him here?
346
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,480
Mmm.
347
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:40,328
"For Grace. Thinking of you.
With love, Robert."
348
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,209
Wow!
349
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,213
Ohh...
350
00:18:56,218 --> 00:19:00,222
"Happy Anniversary.
To Grace, from Robert with love."
351
00:19:06,562 --> 00:19:07,897
Hm.
352
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:10,900
"Sorry you had a bad day.
353
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:15,946
Love, Robert."
"Just because. Love, Robert."
354
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,783
"To Grace. Happy Birthday."
355
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:23,287
"Thanks for the help. Love, Robert."
356
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:29,043
"I miss you too. Love, Robert."
"Love, Robert." "Love, Robert."
357
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:32,880
"Congratulations. You won."
358
00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,268
- This is not going to hurt.
- Oh, well done, Sol.
359
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,687
Well done.
360
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,272
Seriously?
361
00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,692
Oh, I forgot all about those.
362
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:54,610
Why would you do this?
363
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,238
So I was prepared for any occasion.
364
00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,741
So, for example, I'd had a bad day,
you'd come to the box and give me a gift.
365
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:04,620
-That you bought years earlier.
-Yes. Except they were in a drawer then.
366
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,457
-Big picture, Robert.
-Ooh, pretty.
367
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,834
I don't understand the problem.
368
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,461
The problem is
you don't understand the problem.
369
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,506
- I don't.
- They're not personal!
370
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,719
This feels like
a jar of treats for a dog!
371
00:20:19,802 --> 00:20:21,512
So, you're saying
you don't want any of these?
372
00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:23,639
It most certainly is personal.
373
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,600
I picked out each and every one of them
with you in mind.
374
00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:27,893
From that store you like.
375
00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:30,020
Oh, Robert, it doesn't matter
where you got them.
376
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,440
- It's why you got them.
- I give up.
377
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:35,776
I don't buy you a gift, you're mad.
I do buy you a gift, you're mad.
378
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:39,280
-Those aren't the only options.
-No, they are not.
379
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:42,199
-Would you do this to Sol?
-No, he would not!
380
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,743
Don't bring me into this.
381
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,953
Would you go out and buy him
30 pairs of huaraches?
382
00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,082
Yeah, I didn't think so.
383
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,544
I used to think, "God, how nice.
384
00:20:53,627 --> 00:20:57,423
Robert went out and got me something
because he knew I was sad."
385
00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,009
Or "Robert got me something special
386
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,179
because he knew I was right
and he was wrong."
387
00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:05,055
But that wasn't it at all.
388
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:08,517
It wasn't for me at all. It was for you!
389
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,394
So you didn't have to deal with me.
390
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:12,730
So you didn't even have to
think about me.
391
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,858
We'd have a fight and
you'd give me a gift from your stash.
392
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:18,736
I used to think you gave me gifts because,
393
00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:20,446
I don't know, you weren't a talker.
394
00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:24,450
But it was to keep me quiet.
Huh? To manage me. To handle me.
395
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:28,704
Never, not once
was it because you loved me.
396
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:33,167
I never understood our marriage
until right now.
397
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:37,046
For God sakes, Grace, we're divorced.
Aren't we past this?
398
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,340
-Well, I'm not.
-Where is this coming from?
399
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:42,259
I am still being treated
the way I was for 40 years,
400
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:44,720
and I am not gonna settle for it anymore.
401
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:48,724
Neither am I. I've got a belly
full of rage and martini.
402
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:52,228
Sol lied to me about Kenny Loggins.
403
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,979
He never bought my painting.
404
00:21:54,063 --> 00:21:55,356
Yes! Yes, he did.
405
00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,149
Yeah, we've heard that story
a billion times.
406
00:21:57,233 --> 00:22:00,319
Yeah. Yeah. "He saw it on the wall
at Dad's office"--
407
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:02,530
No! Lies, lies! All lies!
408
00:22:02,613 --> 00:22:05,574
You can't compare this lie
to my other lies.
409
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:09,620
The other lies were self-serving.
This one was for you.
410
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:13,165
-How generous of you.
-Oh, come on, Frankie.
411
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:17,795
-No. You humiliated me.
-I was trying to help!
412
00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:21,924
I believed in you
and I wanted you to believe in you.
413
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,676
Oh, if you believed in me
414
00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:27,263
you would not have sold me
a bag of magic beans.
415
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,473
He had the best of intentions.
416
00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,684
Oh, he always does when he lies.
417
00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:34,186
Apparently, he thinks I'm a child
he has to coddle.
418
00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:36,939
Okay. Okay, everyone, let's--
419
00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:38,732
Let's just all take a breath.
420
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:40,442
-Mom, I get that this sucks...
-No.
421
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:41,944
...but Dad's heart was in the right place.
422
00:22:42,027 --> 00:22:43,779
No, what about my heart?
423
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:47,032
Does anyone get
why I am royally cheesed?
424
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:49,535
Yeah, I get it. I think.
What's "cheesed"?
425
00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:50,661
She's wicked pissed.
426
00:22:50,744 --> 00:22:54,081
Oh, yeah. Then I do get it,
because I'm really cheesed, too.
427
00:22:54,164 --> 00:22:57,251
At least Sol humored her out of love.
What were you coming from?
428
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:59,795
Oh, right, expediency.
429
00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:02,965
Oh, fine. Take me to court.
I'd love to hear your argument.
430
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:05,884
"Your Honor,
my ex-husband is a very bad man
431
00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:07,386
because he bought me presents."
432
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:10,723
In bulk! Like you buy toilet paper!
433
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:13,017
Mom, don't you think
you're being a little hard on Dad?
434
00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:14,143
I mean, he did think of you.
435
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,855
Just because they think they were
being nice doesn't mean they were.
436
00:23:17,938 --> 00:23:20,983
Just to circle back, Mom, all of this
jewelry is free and clear now?
437
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:23,777
Sol, don't you understand
how disrespectful you were being?
438
00:23:23,861 --> 00:23:28,115
You're acting as if I was trying to
hurt her when it was just the opposite.
439
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:31,410
I was not belittling her
or dismissing her.
440
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:36,248
Oh, really? Because "her" is in the room
and you keep calling her "her."
441
00:23:36,332 --> 00:23:38,709
It feels a little dismissive to her.
442
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:41,086
I can't believe that you of all people--
443
00:23:41,170 --> 00:23:45,132
Yeah, you, are talking about
being disrespectful to our mother.
444
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:48,552
Because we had front-row seats
for your drunken outburst.
445
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:51,013
Oh, you're bad at this.
You're bad at calming people down.
446
00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:54,141
I didn't mean those things.
I was angry, but I didn't mean them.
447
00:23:54,224 --> 00:23:56,518
I didn't. I swear. I'm so sorry.
448
00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:59,355
-Apology accepted. Mmm.
-I'm so sorry.
449
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:03,150
But that doesn't mean I'm not
royally cheesed at the rest of you.
450
00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:04,860
- What did we do?
- You!
451
00:24:04,943 --> 00:24:07,905
You turned me into a little old lady
who's losing her mind
452
00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,616
and shouldn't even be allowed to drive.
453
00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,828
And I'm just a dupe who couldn't
possibly have any good advice to give.
454
00:24:14,912 --> 00:24:16,205
-And you--
-Oh, God.
455
00:24:16,288 --> 00:24:18,666
You said you wouldn't hire me
because I'd overshadow you.
456
00:24:18,749 --> 00:24:22,252
But I gave you the first new idea that
Say Grace has had since you took over--
457
00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:25,923
Well, we gave you the first idea,
and you never acknowledged it.
458
00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:29,468
You took credit for it
and then you threw Frankie to the curb.
459
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:32,137
Mom, you try being in business with her.
460
00:24:32,221 --> 00:24:34,390
Well, I might. I will.
461
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,768
-I am!
-You are?
462
00:24:37,851 --> 00:24:39,019
Well, yeah. We talked about it.
463
00:24:39,103 --> 00:24:41,438
- Oh, yes. We talked about it.
- What are we doing?
464
00:24:41,522 --> 00:24:45,067
What are we doing? I'll tell you
what we're doing. We're...
465
00:24:45,150 --> 00:24:48,153
We're making vibrators
for women with arthritis.
466
00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:50,239
Yes! Vibrators! Brilliant!
467
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:53,033
-Please let my water break!
-I think I just blacked out.
468
00:24:53,117 --> 00:24:55,703
Oh, grow up.
Older women masturbate too.
469
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:59,123
-Mom!
-And we have vaginas.
470
00:24:59,206 --> 00:25:00,624
Why is it every time
my family gathers for a meal
471
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,418
someone has to bring up
my mother's vagoo?
472
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,129
-Just say "woodle" like a grownup.
-Okay.
473
00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,089
I highly doubt
there's a vibrator market
474
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,049
for geriatric women with arthritis.
475
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:11,719
There is. I'm in agony.
476
00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:16,306
It takes a lot longer
for us to get off, Sol.
477
00:25:16,390 --> 00:25:17,850
-Oh!
-That's cold, Mom.
478
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:19,893
She's right.
Our blood doesn't flow as easily
479
00:25:19,977 --> 00:25:22,479
-and our genital tissue is more delicate.
-Stop.
480
00:25:22,563 --> 00:25:23,814
-I did some reading.
-Oh, God.
481
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:26,692
The more effort it takes
to orgasm, the more you irritate it,
482
00:25:26,775 --> 00:25:28,402
and the more it inflames
your arthritis.
483
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:31,989
And I mean shouldn't older women
have it better than that?
484
00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:34,783
Couldn't we fight for the right
to masturbate after lunch?
485
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:37,286
Seriously, Mom.
How do I explain to my children
486
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:40,038
that their grandma makes sex toys
for other grandmas?
487
00:25:40,122 --> 00:25:41,874
I'll tell you what you can
tell them, honey.
488
00:25:41,957 --> 00:25:43,876
We're making things for people like us,
489
00:25:43,959 --> 00:25:47,880
because we are sick and tired
of being dismissed by people like you.
490
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:50,048
Mic drop. Let's go home.
491
00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:54,052
Oh, um, if you guys are going,
I should probably go with you.
492
00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:58,432
No, no, you're gonna have to do
your Mom-and-Coyote time somewhere else,
493
00:25:58,515 --> 00:26:00,726
because we've got
a lot going on at our house.
494
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:02,144
Yeah.
495
00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,748
What do you think of these?
496
00:26:22,831 --> 00:26:25,709
Yeah, I'm gonna take these definitely.
497
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,549
Babe would be proud of us.
498
00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:35,511
Don't talk about Babe
like she's not here.
499
00:26:35,594 --> 00:26:38,806
Sorry. Sorry.
500
00:26:38,889 --> 00:26:41,683
I feel bad.
I ruined Bud's birthday party.
501
00:26:41,767 --> 00:26:43,894
But we made a hell of an exit,
didn't we?
502
00:26:43,977 --> 00:26:45,020
Oh, we did.
503
00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:48,774
Are we still gonna
do this business thing?
504
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:54,822
Yes. Easy-grip vibrators
with large-print instructions.
505
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:58,200
Absorbent, non-hideous panties for women
506
00:26:58,283 --> 00:27:01,245
who suffer from bladder control issues.
507
00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:04,289
"Don't have time to get to the bathroom?
Why bother?"
508
00:27:04,373 --> 00:27:07,584
You know, why don't we
call them "Why Bothers"?
509
00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:11,672
But you know something?
We can do anything we want.
510
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:13,423
Right, Babe?
511
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:16,426
-She said, "Right."
-I heard her.
512
00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,639
You know, if I ever wanted
to do what Babe did--
513
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,933
I mean, I won't, but if I ever did...
514
00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,687
you'd be the one I'd ask.
515
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,982
You too, Mama.
516
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:32,276
Shake.
517
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:35,988
Babe! Oh, shit! Help me scoop her up!
518
00:27:36,071 --> 00:27:38,824
-No!
-Before the wind takes her away!
519
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,451
I don't even like to touch people
when they're alive.
520
00:27:41,535 --> 00:27:43,036
Babe loves the beach.
521
00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:45,747
Oh!
522
00:27:46,790 --> 00:27:49,209
I got some Babe in my mouth.
523
00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:53,213
Savory.
524
00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:54,965
Yeah, a little...
39603
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