All language subtitles for Grace and Frankie - 03x01 - The Art Show.720p.WEBRiP-FLEET.HI

[Grace Potter's "Stuck
In The Middle" playing]

♪ Well, I don't know Why
I came here tonight ♪

♪ Got the feelin' That
somethin' ain't right ♪

♪ I'm so scared In case
I fall off my chair ♪

♪ And I'm wondering How
I'll get down the stairs ♪

♪ And there's clowns to the
left of me Jokers to the right ♪

♪ Here I am Stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ Yes, I'm stuck in
the middle with you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
www.addic7ed.com

[Vladimir And His Orchestra's
"Baby Boo Boogaloo" playing]

[song lyrics in Spanish]

Come on. Come on. Come on!

[Grace whispering] Frankie.

Frankie.

- Frankie. Wake up!
- [snorts]

I'm not sleeping. I'm not sleeping!

You were snort-snoring.

[sighs] Because I was
up all night painting.

Oh, but I am totally
focused on the business.

I'm a laser beam.

Chhh! [chuckles]

Hello. Sorry to keep you waiting.

It's a busy morning. New copy machine.

I'm Derrick Flout.

Derrick, very nice to meet you.

So nice to meet you, Derrick.

Likewise.

So, uh, you should know what I do
is accept your loan application,

or not, and hand it over to
the underwriting department,

most likely located in another state.

Got it. Okay.

[clears throat] Well, I'm...
I'm Grace Hanson, and this is...

And I am Frankie
Bergstein, head of Creative.

And, um... this is our business plan.

- Very comprehensive.
- Thoroughly proofread.

- [chuckles]
- "Vybrant."

Spelled with a "Y" for extra fun!

We make vibrators specifically
designed for older women...

- um, that take into account their...
- [beeps]

all their issues, like, um...

poor eyesight and arthritis...

Tender vaginal tissue.

That's important.

[Grace chuckles] I let her say that.

Actually, there's no stopping her.

[forced chuckle] Okay, uh,
so we don't need to discuss

every vivid detail of the business.

Got it, Derrick. Well, we
would like a $75,000 loan,

and we're hoping for 3.45
percent rather than the usual 4.1.

I'm assuming this would
be a short-term loan?

No, we'd like ten years.

- Ten years?
- Mm-hmm.

Uh-huh.

And you'd be paying that back...

Well, within ten years.

As is common in a ten-year loan.

And we'll throw in a free
vibrator for your lady friend

after you give us the $75,000.

Uh-huh.

With batteries.

- Very nice. Thank you.
- [all laugh]

[Frankie] Yeah.

So... I don't think
that a ten-year loan

would be prudent at this time.

For our bank.

With you.

Well, uh...

Would a seven-year loan be prudent?

I'm not sure seven is realistic.

What do you think is
prudently realistic?

Somewhere in the one-year range.

I'm not the accountant here,

but that doesn't seem like
much of a range, Derrick.

I've done the break-even analysis and
it's gonna take at least four years to...

Oh, my God. I know what's going on here.

Me too. This is about you being
afraid of female sexuality.

You're one of those bankers who's
never read Our Bodies, Ourselves.

It was banned at my school,
but one of my friends had it.

Oh, so you did read it? I'm confused.

He's not gonna give us a loan
because he thinks we're too old.

Too old? I was blasting
Drake all the way here.

You know what this is?

Ageist. Ageist bullshit!

Ladies, there are many, many
factors that go into loan decisions.

Oh, I'm sure. There's how old you are,

there's how many
birthdays you have left...

How much pubic hair you have left.

See? No stopping her.

Come on, Frankie, let's get out of here.

I'm going to paint a very
unflattering portrait of you.

Here's a flyer for my art
show. You can see it there.

- And if you want to buy it: 75 large.
- [whispers] Come on.

[silent mouthing]

Okay. Okay. We have to
go to a different bank.

That's what we have to do.

They all need breaking up anyway.

We'll start with this one.

We'll form an old lady gang.

We're creaky, but tough.

We're forgetful, but fierce.

Gravity may be no friend of ours,

but that doesn't mean our
bottom line will bottom out.

Right. It's so insulting.

Do we look like we're about to die?

Do we look like we're senile
and can't remember anything?

Where is the car?

[Frankie] I thought you
were paying attention.

I told you to take a
picture of the space.

- I did!
- [groans]

I left my phone in the bank.

[sighs]

With my keys.

This is going to be a weird
double goodbye with Derrick.

[Grace] Come on.

- [seagulls squawking]
- [waves crashing]

Well, but couldn't we just sit down
and talk, you know, face-to-face?

Uh-huh.

Well, youth is fleeting
and you have a weird laugh.

Another no. This one Googled us.

She knows our combined age is 146.

Well, then time to call Tomato Bank.

What is that, some
farmer's market thing?

Tomato Bank is Chinatown's
most easy-going loan service.

My friend Guang works there.

Well, he'll probably say "no," too.

Only he'll say it in Chinese.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Are
you going to do the dishes?

Two days. I need two days.

And then after the art show

I will call the banks, I
will revisit the dishes.

I don't think you understand.

You have paintings to finish, but
I have to walk into that gallery

with a loan that I can
shove in our families' faces.

I think you're missing
the point of my art show.

No, I'm not.

Okay, everyone, come in, come in.

Ooh!

- And this is the entrance way.
- Wow.

That could be a study.

- Are you squeaking?
- Yeah, it's my shoes.

- And this is the living room, of course.
- What are they?

- Golf shoes.
- Why?

I'm breaking them in.

Because not only does he teach band...

I am also coach of the girls'
golf team. Thank you, staff cuts.

And, uh... this is a fireplace,
of course. And it works.

- So are you kids going to Mom's opening?
- [Coyote] Yeah.

- Oh, boy.
- [Coyote] We'll be there.

- I'll be there.
- Of course.

We found this house on Zillow
and it was built in 1928.

Now, if you'll follow me, please.

- Is Mitch coming?
- Who's Mitch?

Oh! That's your husband who
doesn't come to anything.

Okay, I'm sorry he didn't show
up at your dog's birthday party.

He was busy bringing
life into this world.

Not an excuse.

And this is the bedroom.

- [Bud] Are you coming?
- Yeah, I'll be there.

Why do you look wistful?
You never look wistful.

I can look wistful. I
have moments of wist.

[sighs]

I miss your stupid mom and I don't
want her to be mad at me anymore.

That's the fireplace again.

She's my
ride-or-die bitch.

Well, good.

Because Frankie should have
the support of her family.

And Allison.

Ooh, the new lady!
Then I will bring Barry.

Because he's been bugging me to
spend more time with the family

and now everyone will be so
focused on what a loser Allison is

- that I'll just slide him in unnoticed.
- Over here is where we'll cook things.

[Bud] Allison is fantastic.

She has a real job
and a working vehicle.

I'm glad you're all going to be
there. That'll be nice for Frankie.

Dad, you're not thinking
about going, are you?

N-No, that would be a bad idea.

- Kenny Loggins bad.
- Having twins bad.

This is the room where
we eat the things we cook.

Don't you think she might perceive
my not being there as unsupportive?

And that's the car dealership.

Haven't you left her a
million messages already?

Has she answered one?

Not with words.

Oh, for heaven sakes, how do
you kids feel about the house?

- It's great.
- Nice windows.

It's really open. The
feng shui is all right.

But more importantly, do you like it?

We love it.

We really do.

Maybe Frankie secretly
wants me to be there.

Oh, God, Sol.

- Nice place, Dad.
- Thank you.

- Oh, look, Dad! Tile!
- [Mallory] Love you guys.

- Love you, Dad. Love the house.
- Don't go to the show.

Sol, the only reason you
want to go to her show

is because you hate it
when people are mad at you.

I just prefer to have everybody like me.

Or I can't leave my house...

or my bed.

Well, you do whatever you
want, but I'm not going.

Because, unlike you, I do not enjoy
going to places where I'm not wanted.

This is probably the most
important day of Frankie's life.

How can I not be there?

By not going.

I'm gonna stay home and
eat guacamole with a spoon,

but you're welcome to go

and have yet another tortured
interaction with our ex-wives.

So you're okay that things are
lousy between you and Grace?

I'm not okay with it,

but the art show is not the time or
the place to work on our relationship.

How do you know?

Because I know everything.

What if I know going is the right thing?

I know you're wrong.

And if you're hoping to get Frankie

to let go of the Kenny
Loggins thing, forget it.

There's nothing you can
do to make up for that.

- There's gotta be something.
- There's nothing.

- Something.
- Nothing.

[sighs]

Are you gonna touch
every piece of cheese?

Do you think it would help calm
me down? Because I'll do it.

Oh, Frankie, relax.

You've waited for this your whole life.

I know, I know. It's great.

It's here. It's horrible.
This is a nightmare.

- Frankie?
- Yes?

We're going to open the doors
in a few moments. Are you ready?

What are those?

We put a red dot on each
painting once it sells.

Can I do it?

- No. We do it.
- Let her do it.

[exhales]

Oh God, oh God, oh God.

Maybe it's time for a little pot spray.

What if none of them sell?

What if all these little red dots
are here at the end of the night?

It doesn't matter, Frankie.

You still did it. You
pulled this show together.

- Babe would be so proud of you.
- Oh, Babe.

What if she misses her
dinner up in heaven,

watching over this and
it's a total failure?

Maybe there's a joint in your
purse that you forgot about?

- Oh, my God.
- Hey, Mom. Frankie!

Good God, what is that?

This is the poncho that
Frankie made for me.

I love it. Love it so hard.

Yeah, well you're wearing it backwards.

And truthfully, you don't
have the body for it.

Frankie, I'm trying here.

We have a relationship to repair.
We can't just throw yarn at it.

[sighs]

She's a little anxious.

Still mad?

It's not like you to be upset
when someone's upset with you.

I know, but it's Frankie. And
she was like a mother to me.

You were also like a mother to me.

"Like a mother"?

She wasn't a replacement
mother. She's another mother.

More love. More love is so good.

It's a whole village of... Barry!

Barry, say hello to my favorite mother!

Mom, you remember Barry from the office.

It is so nice to see you again, Grace.

You, too. Why are you here?

So, Mom, Barry and I are, um...

We are... together.

- That the word you were looking for?
- Pretty close.

- Good.
- Goodness, I didn't...

He is with you?

But he's so nice.

[chuckles]

Thank you, Mom.

Anytime, darling. You've always
been like a daughter to me.

So Grace, how are you?

Thank you for asking,
Barry. I am superb.

Frankie and I are fielding loan offers.

It's good, good, good,
good, good, good, good, good.

- Well, I guess she's good.
- She seems really good. Yeah.

[lounge music playing]

- [chuckles]
- Mm.

This is amazing.

How do you feel?

Frankly, I feel like
barfing in my handbag.

Oh, so you found your handbag.

No, no, this is Grace's.

Do you see any red dots?

I see the ones that's in your hand.

And now I see Sol.

Oh, Sol.

That guy's really got a pair on him.

Don't worry, I got it.

- It is so nice to finally meet you.
- So nice to meet you, too.

And this is Mallory's husband, Mitch.

He's working.

Yes, one of his famous emergency
get-out-of-the-art-show babies.

Well, I was an art-show baby.

I was just trying to break the tension.

Oh, there's no tension here.

- Right, Mitch? Back me up, buddy.
- Okay. [clears throat]

Who'd have thunk it,

when we first met at your farm stand,

that one day, we'd be standing here,

shoulder to shoulder...

the gay ex-husband, the new
lover, supporting our lady.

I mean... your lady,
my ex-lady. [scoffs]

It's all good. We're cool.

I think now might be a good
time to go over and say hi.

I wouldn't.

So I should just stay
here and talk to you?

I think that's your sweet spot.

[sighs]

You can see the rage toward
me in every brush stroke.

Notice the bold use of yellow?

That's because I hate mustard.

[indistinct chattering]

- Oh! It's starting.
- [Brianna exclaims]

[Barry] What's starting?

The "Bud's Super-Needy
Girlfriend" drinking game.

You're gonna want to
eat something first.

- [Barry] Oh, she looks lovely.
- [Mallory] They always look lovely.

This is great, I can't even
play the game I invented.

Okay, Frankie?

Someone has one thing, just
one thing, to say to you.

Frankie, the work in this
collection blows me away.

Put a sock in it, Sol.

I told you, man.

He told you.

Since when are there egg rolls?

[scoffs]

And that's when I realized
I have celiac disease.

Oh, of course you do.

Gluten allergies are so common nowadays.

- Oh, gosh, global warming.
- [Coyote] Yeah.

- It's real. It's very real.
- [Mallory] Sucks.

[Coyote] Do you have other allergies?

It's quicker to list the
things I'm not allergic to.

[Brianna] Mm-hmm.

Plums.

I don't even like them that much.

Why are you all drinking in a clump?

We are...

just celebrating the fact that I'm
going to buy one of your paintings.

Oh, really?

Which one spoke to you?

The... second least expensive one.

Uh-huh.

And Mitch is so sad he's missing this,

he said to get one to bring home.

Oh, cut the crap, you two.

Nobody's buying any paintings.

I don't mean "nobody,"
I mean you people.

No family can buy art.

I don't want any part of your pity
ponchos or your pity purchases.

If you love a piece, I will
give it to you free of charge.

And "free of charge"
does not include delivery.

I once ordered a pizza
and then I got robbed.

- Right.
- I can see that.

I'm much more like that
one, I think, than this one.

[Judy] Yeah, well,
whatever you see, honey.

They're both handsome.

[gasps] Grace!

- [Peter] Hey.
- Hey, there.

- [Judy] Hi.
- Hi.

- Hey! Hey, hey.
- Oh, yeah. Right.

Peter.

Oh, I feel your belt.

- Oh!
- How are you, Grace?

Oh, thank you for
asking, Judy. I'm fine.

So, what's new? Are you seeing anybody?

[laughs] That's a rude question, Peter.

I don't have time for that. I'm
too busy with my new business.

Good for you.

No, good for you, Judy.
Trust me. Good for you.

And maybe good for you,
too, Peter, if you're open.

He's not.

I mean, I have no idea
what you're talking about,

but I'm telling you, he's not.

- I might be.
- You're not.

I'm not.

- Frankie.
- Sol, quit shadowing me, man.

You are so brave.

Oh, stop! I don't
need your fake support.

I don't need anybody but me
to tell me that I'm an artist.

Not even, perhaps, Sir Kenneth Loggins?

Oh, really?

He's the last freaking
person I need to hear from.

How do you even mention his name to me?

- Excuse me.
- [scoffs]

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

- You're here. Why are you here?
- It's my military training.

Never leave a man behind
in hostile territory.

I did a bad thing, Robert.
I did a very bad thing.

You've been here for ten minutes.
What could you have possibly done?

I did it before I came.

Okay, that tracks.

- Hello, Grace.
- Robert.

How are you?

Oh, so good.

So, so good.

So much happening with the business.

- So, things are good?
- Things are good.

- How about with you?
- Things are good with me, too.

My things are better.

It turns out that my
accountant was a bigamist,

who wasn't technically
even an accountant.

I have to pee. Hey, Bud,
do you have my special soap?

[sniffs] I hope it's still
good. I lost my sense of smell.

No. No, you're not.

Yes, we are.

I told you that
drinking game bothers me!

That little bag of soap bothers me.

You know what? You guys suck.

So sorry, I'm new here, so...

Allison's great. Unlike you,
she's kind. She has a big heart.

Oh, we know, she told
us about that condition.

- [chuckles]
- Fuck you all.

I like her more than I
like you people right now.

- He's gonna go help her wipe.
- I heard that!

False alarm. Nothing came out.

[guffawing]

Ooh!

- We should line up a few more.
- [Mallory] Mm-hmm.

Should I have sold a painting by now?

Should I have sold 12 paintings?

Are they bidding over the phone?
Have you been on the horn with Japan?

I hate Japan.

They only buy masterpieces.

I just had a thought. I had a thought.

Family can't buy paintings, but you can.

Right. I guess I should probably
buy all the paintings I can now,

since, if I play my cards right...

someday I might, you
know, actually be family.

So by "family" you mean like

people who choose to
be related... by choice?

Yes, by choice.

So, what do you think about that?

Right now what do I think
about that, like, right now?

You realize you can only stall so much

by repeating back to me what I say?

I can only stall so long by
repeating back to you...

- Stop it!
- Can we not have this conversation here?

I just...

I thought we were headed
in a certain direction.

Barry, you know me.
I'm not a future person.

I'm more of a, "This is so good,
let's keep doing this," person.

Right, but at some point
if we keep doing this,

it takes us into the future.

Do you even see me in that future?

I don't not... see...

- Not...
- Oh, my God.

No, it's not you,
Barry. I don't see myself

with more family in the future.

I thought you knew this.

I do now.

Barry...

[sighs]

I noticed you gave up when the
bartender was taking too long.

For you.

Really?

This didn't come from a box of
martinis you bought me four years ago?

Just made. I promise.

Then thank you.

You're welcome.

[Peter] Wow. Frankie's a
better artist than I thought.

[Judy] Indeed.

[Peter] It really does kind of
capture Grace now, doesn't it?

[Judy] It's just so sad, though.

I mean, I used to envy her. We all did.

She had everything.

Now she has to work so hard to
prove she didn't end up like this.

Yeah, it's a real shame.

Poor Grace.

Oh, excuse me. I'm so glad
you're enjoying Frankie's art,

but if you could perhaps
keep the cruelty to a minimum.

I... [sighs]

- We didn't mean...
- Don't even.

Come on.

Thank you.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm great.

They don't know anything about you.

Or maybe they do.

What are you talking about?

Your things are better than my things.

And Brianna just told me you've
got a big loan all lined up.

Yeah, I lied.

I lied to our daughter.

We didn't get the loan.

You will. And as I recall, it took
a few tries the last time, too.

The last time I wasn't 73.

[man clears throat]

Mr. Loggins,

I am so thrilled that
you came here tonight.

I personally am especially moved.

You did call me about 700 times.

And you were very patient, no
matter how insistent I became.

You know, I'm looking forward
to meeting Frankie tonight.

I really like her stuff.

Here's the thing, you can't come in.

Excuse me?

Your being here tonight was the
grand gesture I was looking for.

It turns out it was actually too grand,

and it would undermine my ex-wife's
newfound confidence as an artist.

She's learning to follow her inner muse

and she doesn't need
validation from you anymore.

Which, you have to admit,
is really growth for her.

What the fuck?

I'm sorry. I really should
have listened to my husband.

The truth is I've never been comfortable
with people being angry at me.

And now that includes
you, Kenny Loggins.

Hi. Thank you.

You're an artist, Mom.

You're exactly what you
wanted to be when you grew up.

I wish I could say the same.

Oh, honey.

Who's that man your father's talking to?

Oh, my God!

Oh!

[softly] You've got to go!

[Frankie] Oh, my God!

Oh, was that... ?! Was that... ?!

Yes, and I'm sorry I brought
him here, but I sent him away.

[screams] Why would you send him away?

You said you didn't need him anymore!

Nobody doesn't need Kenny Loggins!

Oh, Sol, you are really
working my left teat.

I can't win. I'm trying to make
things up to you and I can't win.

No, you can't. Maybe someday,
but definitely not today.

Kenny! Kenny!

[sighs]

It was sweet of you to try.

It was sweet of you to come.

I know.

Can I go home and put on my pajamas?

Can I go home and put on my noose?

What's your damage?

I didn't sell a painting
to Kenny Loggins... twice.

See that woman over there?

She's been staring at that painting
for a good two-and-a-half martinis.

And I've been pacing myself.

What?

Go over there.

Go!

I heard you've been spending
some time with this piece.

This reminds me of a painting that
was in the house that I grew up in.

It's not the actual painting,
but it's the memory of it,

and it brings me back to a happy time.

Oh, wow.

And the yellow makes me feel hopeful.

Really? I just put the yellow in
because my ex-husband hates mustard.

- But I like your interpretation better.
- Hm.

Would you like to take the
happy time home with you?

You know, I really would,
but I can't afford it.

How much you got?

[Aretha Franklin's "Ain't Nobody
(Gonna Turn Me Around)" playing]

[chuckling]

♪ Ain't nobody ♪

- I'm so proud of you.
- ♪ Gonna turn me around no more ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Ain't nobody ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Gonna turn me around ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Well, I've learned my
lesson And now I see ♪

♪ Love ain't the thing for me ♪

♪ Ain't nobody ♪

♪ Nobody, nobody, no! ♪

♪ Gonna turn me around ♪

♪ Turn me around ♪

♪ Turn me around, turn me around ♪

♪ Ain't nobody ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Gonna talk sweet talk to me ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Ain't nobody ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ Gonna tell me how sweet love can be ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ I'm gonna take my love
And put it on the shelf... ♪

[woman] Okay, good night!