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00:00:07,021 --> 00:00:09,124
- As you all know,
profits for Hampton DeVille
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00:00:09,227 --> 00:00:10,469
are at an all-time high.
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00:00:10,572 --> 00:00:13,365
Unfortunately,
the well-being of our employees
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00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,400
is at an all-time low.
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00:00:15,503 --> 00:00:19,538
Let's take a look at the average
Hampton DeVille employee.
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00:00:19,641 --> 00:00:22,089
The average life expectancy
for a Hampton DeVille employee
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00:00:22,193 --> 00:00:24,814
is 57.1 years.
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They get 5.2 hours--
- I'm so tired.
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00:00:26,745 --> 00:00:28,365
I wish I could be asleep
all the time.
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00:00:28,469 --> 00:00:30,089
- You just described death.
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00:00:30,193 --> 00:00:32,193
- Hmm. Yeah, I guess
I want to be dead.
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00:00:32,296 --> 00:00:33,331
- I can't wait to die.
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00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,676
It sounds so relaxing.
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00:00:34,779 --> 00:00:36,848
- The average employee
is half man, half woman.
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00:00:36,952 --> 00:00:39,089
They have one testicle,
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00:00:39,193 --> 00:00:41,883
one breast, and half a vagina.
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00:00:41,986 --> 00:00:44,814
Every year,
the average employee consumes
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00:00:44,917 --> 00:00:47,158
561 cups of coffee...
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00:00:47,262 --> 00:00:48,917
- I feel nothing
when I drink coffee.
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00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:49,952
- Coffee is a scam.
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Be an adult.
Take an Adderall.
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00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:52,814
- The average
Hampton DeVille employee
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00:00:52,917 --> 00:00:55,365
strongly agrees
with the following phrase.
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"If I see a pill,
I eat a pill."
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00:00:57,917 --> 00:01:01,503
They smoke 275 cigarettes
annually,
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00:01:01,607 --> 00:01:03,227
97 marijuana cigarettes,
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00:01:03,331 --> 00:01:05,158
and due to some
statistical outliers,
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00:01:05,262 --> 00:01:08,365
the average employee
does heroin.
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00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,365
I would never do heroin.
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Unless I was dying,
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00:01:12,193 --> 00:01:13,434
or someone just
offered it to me.
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- I don't have a 401,
so as of now,
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my retirement plan
is to overdose on drugs.
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- Smart.
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- The average employee
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00:01:19,848 --> 00:01:23,089
has 7.8 suicidal thoughts
per day,
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00:01:23,193 --> 00:01:25,572
18 panic attacks a year,
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and wonders once an hour,
every hour,
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why this is happening to them.
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And that concludes
my presentation
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on how Hampton DeVille employees
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cope with the pain
of being alive.
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00:01:39,193 --> 00:01:42,124
- Okay.
Thank you, Grace.
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Should we talk next steps?
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- First step: let us never
speak of this again.
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- Yes, that's right.
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That's really the only step.
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- You've heard of
enhanced interrogation, right?
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- Yeah.
- Well, it's like that,
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but with acupuncture.
- Ah.
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00:02:37,572 --> 00:02:40,227
I know a masseuse
who does this amazing thing
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where she wraps her hands
around your neck
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and just oh-so-subtly
suffocates you.
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00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:47,641
- Is that Matt?
- Oh, no.
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Finding a dead body
is one of my top 25 fears.
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- He has a neck pillow.
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- He died in his sleep.
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Oh!
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00:03:00,158 --> 00:03:01,124
- Hi, Matt.
- Oh, my...
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00:03:01,227 --> 00:03:02,469
God!
- Ah!
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00:03:02,572 --> 00:03:04,089
- John.
- Ah!
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00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:05,848
- What?
- What?
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00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:08,572
- Matt, the fact that you
have been sleeping in your car
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00:03:08,676 --> 00:03:10,400
means we have not been
challenging you enough.
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But that's about to change.
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- We need you to digitize
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00:03:14,848 --> 00:03:17,434
all the employee injury
and death reports
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00:03:17,538 --> 00:03:19,227
from the past 50 years.
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00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:20,503
- I'm gonna be honest with you,
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it's an upsetting amount
of work.
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00:03:22,227 --> 00:03:23,331
- It sucks.
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- I'm sorry, but how does
digitizing old files
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fit into my job description?
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00:03:28,883 --> 00:03:31,434
I'm gonna lose my mind
if I don't get my nap.
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I don't know what I'm gonna do.
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00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,883
- Wow, Matt.
That sounds awful.
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Almost as bad as having
spinal surgery!
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00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,021
Because the chairs here
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00:03:39,124 --> 00:03:41,883
don't provide lumbar support!
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00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,503
But let's get back
to how you're a victim.
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00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,848
- Jake, buddy!
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It is so good to see you
back in the office, man.
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00:03:49,469 --> 00:03:50,917
The place wasn't the same
without you.
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I brought you these.
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00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,676
- Wow, thanks, Baron.
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00:03:53,779 --> 00:03:55,021
I kind of thought you hated me
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00:03:55,124 --> 00:03:57,021
'cause you've said that
to my face many times.
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00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,262
Uh, so anyway, um...
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00:04:02,365 --> 00:04:03,607
what'd they give you
to manage the pain?
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00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:05,503
Must be some serious stuff.
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00:04:05,607 --> 00:04:07,434
- They gave me hydrocodone,
oxycodone,
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00:04:07,538 --> 00:04:08,331
lorazepam, diazepam.
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00:04:08,434 --> 00:04:10,021
- You know, I get, um,
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00:04:10,124 --> 00:04:12,779
uh, retinal pain
from staring at screens all day,
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00:04:12,883 --> 00:04:16,331
so if you have
any leftover pills,
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00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:18,331
remember who brought you flowers
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00:04:18,434 --> 00:04:21,469
when you were down and out...
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00:04:21,572 --> 00:04:23,641
and in need of a friend.
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00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:27,503
There's a Benji in the card.
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00:04:30,193 --> 00:04:32,021
- Wow, that was pretty blatant.
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00:04:32,124 --> 00:04:33,676
- I've been dealing with this
all morning.
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Turns out painkillers
are pretty valuable currency.
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- Jake, heard about your back.
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00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:43,469
That sucks, man.
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00:04:43,572 --> 00:04:44,814
Quick question, though.
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What kind of pills
are you taking?
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- Hey, Jake.
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00:04:50,158 --> 00:04:51,676
- Hey, Jake.
- Jake.
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- Jake!
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- Jim, buddy.
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00:04:54,365 --> 00:04:56,503
- I am so sorry to hear
about your back.
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00:04:56,607 --> 00:04:58,917
- I can only imagine
the pain you're in.
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- You are a hero.
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- What'd they give ya?
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00:05:01,021 --> 00:05:02,814
- What was it,
Norcos, Vals, Vics?
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- You are not supposed to take
all of 'em.
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00:05:04,710 --> 00:05:05,814
- That would be dangerous.
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00:05:05,917 --> 00:05:08,124
- My carpal tunnel's
been really acting up.
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00:05:08,227 --> 00:05:10,434
- This weekend, I have to meet
my mom's new boyfriend.
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00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:11,641
- That's not good.
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00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,089
- He used to be my boyfriend.
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00:05:13,193 --> 00:05:14,917
- I'm just really bored.
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- I'm a drug addict.
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00:05:15,814 --> 00:05:16,986
- I would be so grateful.
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- If you love me,
you'll give me the pills.
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- I'll give you something;
you give me something.
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00:05:20,814 --> 00:05:22,814
- I need the pills.
- Just give them to me.
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00:05:22,917 --> 00:05:23,952
- Please.
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00:05:24,055 --> 00:05:25,745
- Don't act like
you're the only one in pain!
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00:05:25,848 --> 00:05:27,434
- And that would really
help me out, man.
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- What's in it for me?
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Is that a new suit?
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00:06:03,469 --> 00:06:04,952
- Yeah, I got it from Hank
in accounting.
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00:06:05,055 --> 00:06:06,572
His in-laws are visiting
this weekend.
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00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:12,193
- Is that a Kandinsky?
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00:06:12,296 --> 00:06:13,538
- Here's another batch.
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00:06:14,848 --> 00:06:16,641
- Well, now I really
want to be dead.
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00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,400
- Hi, Matt.
You look like you're dying.
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00:06:23,503 --> 00:06:26,055
- Thanks, Grace.
- Jake.
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- Oh, hi, Grace.
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Let me guess, you want
to exploit our friendship
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for some pain pills.
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00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,227
- What? No.
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00:06:32,331 --> 00:06:33,296
I just brought you
these balloons
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because I care about you.
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- That's so sweet, Grace.
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You're such a good person.
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- Yes. I am good.
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Fuck, fuck, fuck.
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God, I need a nap.
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- Matt, we know you need sleep,
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but we're counting on you.
- You're young.
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00:07:03,848 --> 00:07:05,641
You're not allowed to sleep
until you're dead.
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I don't think employees
are allowed to smoke in here.
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- What are you gonna do,
fire me?
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00:07:33,193 --> 00:07:34,124
- No, it's just that...
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cigarettes are bad for you.
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- Cigarettes can't kill me.
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- Why not?
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- Because I'm a ghost!
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- Hey, Matt!
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- Ooh.
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I thought you were dead,
but turns out
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you're just sleeping
on the toilet,
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which is somehow worse.
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- Good morning, Matt!
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I'm gonna show you
how I get through my day...
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without falling asleep
on the toilet.
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- John, how is waking up
at 6:00 a.m.
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to play basketball
gonna help me?
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God.
- Endorphins.
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Intense physical activity
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floods your brain
with endorphins.
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You don't need sleep
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when you can trick your body
into thinking
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that you're constantly
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in a life-threatening situation.
- John.
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With endorphins,
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00:08:36,952 --> 00:08:41,021
you can power your way
through any obstacle.
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Oh!
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Foul.
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With adrenaline in your veins,
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nothing can get in your way!
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Oh, Jesus.
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That's a goal-tend.
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Okay, nothing can get in my way.
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Gotcha!
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Oh, gotcha, big man.
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00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:02,055
Let me get it!
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00:09:02,158 --> 00:09:05,952
You're a filthy, scumbag,
dirty-ass...
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00:09:06,055 --> 00:09:08,365
- I get it.
- Trifling player.
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00:09:08,469 --> 00:09:10,745
And you're always gonna be
a dirty player.
193
00:09:10,848 --> 00:09:12,262
Let's go!
194
00:09:12,365 --> 00:09:13,883
With endorphins...
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00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,572
everything is possible!
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00:09:16,641 --> 00:09:17,572
Oh!
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00:09:17,676 --> 00:09:18,607
What?
198
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:21,055
How?
199
00:09:23,227 --> 00:09:24,779
- Ow!
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00:09:24,883 --> 00:09:27,365
- So there was an incident
201
00:09:27,469 --> 00:09:29,917
on the basketball court
this morning
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00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:33,676
involving two
Hampton DeVille employees.
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00:09:33,779 --> 00:09:35,089
You and me.
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00:09:35,193 --> 00:09:37,296
And I think
what we've learned
205
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:40,883
is that people--
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00:09:40,986 --> 00:09:42,296
me and you--
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00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,883
make mistakes.
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00:09:44,986 --> 00:09:47,331
And nobody is really
at fault here.
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00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,469
Okay?
210
00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:52,331
- Yeah, it's okay.
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00:09:52,434 --> 00:09:53,538
- Good.
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00:09:53,641 --> 00:09:54,503
Good meeting...
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00:09:54,607 --> 00:09:56,262
and great game.
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00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:03,365
You ever have
one of those dreams
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00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,641
that are so vivid,
you'd swear it's real?
216
00:10:05,745 --> 00:10:06,572
- All the time, man.
217
00:10:08,745 --> 00:10:09,572
- Who are you?
218
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,193
- I'm Kevin.
219
00:10:11,296 --> 00:10:13,193
I've been hitting the drugs
pretty hard since my dog died,
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00:10:13,296 --> 00:10:15,124
so I traded my office to Jake
for painkillers.
221
00:10:15,227 --> 00:10:17,021
- Oh.
222
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,124
- How are you?
223
00:10:20,227 --> 00:10:22,296
- I'm having
a little bit of a rough day,
224
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,538
but I'm okay.
225
00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:24,607
How are you?
226
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,710
- Good. I'm on drugs.
227
00:10:26,814 --> 00:10:28,262
- No, don't do that.
228
00:10:28,365 --> 00:10:29,607
Do what I said.
229
00:10:29,710 --> 00:10:32,262
Trust me, if you saw how I look,
you would do what I said.
230
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,848
- Can I help you?
231
00:10:33,952 --> 00:10:36,193
- Um, I just came
to talk to Jake.
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00:10:36,296 --> 00:10:37,848
- Do you have an appointment
with Mr. Levinson?
233
00:10:37,952 --> 00:10:39,503
- It's okay, Jane.
234
00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:41,986
Tell him to wait a minute,
and we'll grab some grub.
235
00:10:42,089 --> 00:10:43,814
Mom, how many times
do I have to tell you
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00:10:43,917 --> 00:10:45,089
he's not hot enough for you?
237
00:10:45,193 --> 00:10:48,227
You're an amazing woman,
and you deserve the hottest.
238
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:49,641
Thanks for picking up lunch,
Grace.
239
00:10:49,745 --> 00:10:51,124
- That's what friends do:
240
00:10:51,227 --> 00:10:54,917
give each other stuff that
makes their bodies feel good.
241
00:11:01,021 --> 00:11:02,710
- So, Jake, how many pills
do you have left?
242
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:05,331
- I blew a bunch on a key to
the 49th floor vending machine,
243
00:11:05,434 --> 00:11:07,089
but I've got enough left
for one big trade.
244
00:11:07,193 --> 00:11:11,676
Ooh, and I think I know
what it's going to be.
245
00:11:15,158 --> 00:11:15,952
- A car?
246
00:11:16,055 --> 00:11:18,021
- No, I want that parking spot.
247
00:11:18,124 --> 00:11:19,331
It's right by the elevator,
248
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,607
no cars on either side.
249
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:21,676
It's convenient,
but more importantly
250
00:11:21,779 --> 00:11:23,296
a real status symbol.
251
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,607
- Uh, there's no chance
you're gonna get that spot.
252
00:11:26,710 --> 00:11:28,262
It belongs to Peg Peterson.
253
00:11:28,365 --> 00:11:30,055
She's the most well-balanced
person I've ever met.
254
00:11:30,158 --> 00:11:33,365
I don't think she's been sad
a day in her life.
255
00:11:33,469 --> 00:11:35,538
- Okay, well, it was good
hearing from you.
256
00:11:35,641 --> 00:11:37,848
Yeah. Have a great day, Todd.
257
00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:39,124
Okay.
258
00:11:39,227 --> 00:11:40,089
Oh, hello.
259
00:11:40,193 --> 00:11:41,745
I'm sorry,
that was a telemarketer.
260
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:43,193
What can I help you with?
261
00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:45,262
- I'm sorry, but I was walking
by your office,
262
00:11:45,365 --> 00:11:47,469
and I couldn't help but notice
that your name is Peg Peterson.
263
00:11:47,572 --> 00:11:49,434
This is a long shot,
264
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:52,503
but do you happen to know
a Lenny Peterson?
265
00:11:52,607 --> 00:11:53,607
- Uh, I don't think so.
266
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:54,883
- Well, he's great,
267
00:11:54,986 --> 00:11:56,745
and it's great to meet
another Peterson.
268
00:11:56,848 --> 00:11:58,158
Anyway, how are you?
269
00:11:58,262 --> 00:12:00,641
- I'm doing really well,
thank you for asking.
270
00:12:00,745 --> 00:12:02,055
And how are you?
271
00:12:02,158 --> 00:12:04,503
Um, what's that back brace for?
272
00:12:04,607 --> 00:12:05,745
- Oh, this old thing?
273
00:12:05,848 --> 00:12:07,055
I just had
a little spinal surgery.
274
00:12:07,158 --> 00:12:08,193
Don't worry about me.
275
00:12:08,296 --> 00:12:09,641
Yeah, it hurts a little bit,
276
00:12:09,745 --> 00:12:11,848
but everyone has pain, right?
277
00:12:11,952 --> 00:12:13,193
Right, Peg?
278
00:12:13,296 --> 00:12:15,021
- I'm sorry to hear
about your spine,
279
00:12:15,124 --> 00:12:17,227
but you know what always
makes me feel better
280
00:12:17,331 --> 00:12:18,607
is a candy cane.
281
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:20,296
- Candy, huh?
282
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,986
Ever had this kind of candy,
Peg?
283
00:12:24,158 --> 00:12:27,021
- Are those
prescription painkillers?
284
00:12:27,124 --> 00:12:29,365
- These make everybody
feel better about everything.
285
00:12:29,469 --> 00:12:31,124
I could give you
the rest of the bottle,
286
00:12:31,227 --> 00:12:33,710
but I'm gonna need
more than a candy cane, Peg.
287
00:12:33,814 --> 00:12:35,710
Maybe your parking spot?
288
00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:38,883
- Oh, it's 2:00.
289
00:12:38,986 --> 00:12:40,986
It's time
for my afternoon treat.
290
00:12:41,089 --> 00:12:43,538
Ice cream sandwiches
are the only drug I need.
291
00:12:49,883 --> 00:12:50,917
- Bonne nuit.
292
00:12:52,434 --> 00:12:53,227
- Buenas noches.
293
00:12:59,469 --> 00:13:00,848
- What?
294
00:13:27,883 --> 00:13:28,745
Hey, ghost?
295
00:13:28,848 --> 00:13:30,607
What are you typing?
296
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,331
- I have to finish
these bullshit reports.
297
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:38,779
- Hey, ghost?
298
00:13:38,883 --> 00:13:40,503
What's it like being dead?
299
00:13:42,331 --> 00:13:45,503
Being dead is great in theory.
You know?
300
00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:46,676
You don't feel any pain.
301
00:13:46,779 --> 00:13:48,158
You can have sex
without condoms.
302
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,641
But the problem is, you just
get used to it, you know?
303
00:13:50,745 --> 00:13:53,952
And then being dead just sucks
as much as being alive.
304
00:13:54,055 --> 00:13:56,469
It's like,
there's no greener grass.
305
00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:58,848
There's just more grass.
306
00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:01,262
Fuck, you just made me
type "grass"!
307
00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:06,848
Oh!
- Hi, Matt.
308
00:14:06,952 --> 00:14:09,538
Did you know
this is the women's restroom?
309
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:13,469
And also you're asleep
on a toilet.
310
00:14:20,917 --> 00:14:22,296
- What's wrong, Matt?
311
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,745
- I don't know, Kevin.
312
00:14:23,848 --> 00:14:25,848
These death records
are giving me weird nightmares.
313
00:14:28,848 --> 00:14:29,814
Madeline?
314
00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:30,848
Smoker, foul-mouthed,
315
00:14:30,952 --> 00:14:34,089
died of an amphetamine overdose.
316
00:14:34,193 --> 00:14:35,089
Oh, my God.
317
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:37,779
She's real.
318
00:14:37,883 --> 00:14:39,089
- Who's real?
319
00:14:39,193 --> 00:14:40,641
- The ghost from my dreams.
320
00:14:40,745 --> 00:14:41,676
Wait, no, I'm sorry.
321
00:14:41,779 --> 00:14:43,745
I don't believe in ghosts.
322
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:44,848
- I do.
323
00:14:44,952 --> 00:14:46,262
If ghosts aren't real,
324
00:14:46,365 --> 00:14:47,814
how do you explain
325
00:14:47,917 --> 00:14:49,503
the existence of ghosts?
326
00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:50,538
Huh?
- You're right.
327
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,193
You can't explain it.
- No.
328
00:14:52,296 --> 00:14:54,434
I listen to ghost hunting
podcasts while I work,
329
00:14:54,538 --> 00:14:56,331
and they all say
that if you meet a ghost,
330
00:14:56,434 --> 00:14:58,158
you're supposed to find
where they died
331
00:14:58,262 --> 00:15:02,158
so they can be released
to the afterlife.
332
00:15:02,262 --> 00:15:03,883
- It says she died on floor 33.
333
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,814
- I know all about floor 33.
334
00:15:05,917 --> 00:15:07,883
It's abandoned.
335
00:15:07,986 --> 00:15:09,986
Supposed to be pretty spooky.
336
00:15:10,089 --> 00:15:12,572
I'll go get my ghost rods.
337
00:15:12,676 --> 00:15:13,814
- Thanks, Kev.
338
00:15:16,986 --> 00:15:19,676
- Are you gonna go get
your rods?
339
00:15:19,779 --> 00:15:21,055
- Oh!
- Yeah.
340
00:15:21,158 --> 00:15:23,572
- Yeah, right, ghost rods.
Right.
341
00:15:27,124 --> 00:15:29,021
- What's wrong?
342
00:15:29,124 --> 00:15:30,986
No ice cream sandwiches?
343
00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:34,262
- Someone threw them
into the sink and smashed them.
344
00:15:35,917 --> 00:15:37,503
- Oh, no.
345
00:15:37,607 --> 00:15:39,848
I guess the world is cruel.
346
00:15:39,952 --> 00:15:41,262
Right, Peg?
347
00:15:41,365 --> 00:15:43,745
Lucky for you...
348
00:15:43,848 --> 00:15:45,434
I have these.
349
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:47,538
- You know what?
350
00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:49,089
I think I'm gonna treat myself
351
00:15:49,193 --> 00:15:50,848
to a walk in the park.
352
00:15:50,952 --> 00:15:52,572
Why don't you come join me?
353
00:16:05,710 --> 00:16:07,779
- Why'd they shut this floor
down?
354
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,262
- It wasn't wheelchair
accessible,
355
00:16:09,365 --> 00:16:11,434
and they didn't want to pay
to install a ramp.
356
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:13,779
- Oh.
357
00:16:13,883 --> 00:16:14,607
Spider!
358
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:15,710
Oh, don't.
359
00:16:19,607 --> 00:16:21,193
- Oh, my God.
Kevin, it's her office.
360
00:16:21,296 --> 00:16:22,848
- Oh, man.
361
00:16:22,952 --> 00:16:24,641
My rods are really
starting to freak out.
362
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:26,400
Uh, maybe we should go back
to the office
363
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:28,055
and take some pain pills
and forget about this.
364
00:16:28,158 --> 00:16:29,779
- No, I'm going in.
365
00:16:31,055 --> 00:16:33,227
Matt! Matt, no!
366
00:16:41,676 --> 00:16:44,848
It says
"deceased found on couch."
367
00:16:47,469 --> 00:16:49,434
Oh, my God, we found
her final resting place.
368
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:51,193
Now she can be released.
369
00:16:51,296 --> 00:16:52,365
Kev?
370
00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:59,641
Huh. Resting place.
371
00:16:59,745 --> 00:17:01,021
- Look, Jake,
372
00:17:01,124 --> 00:17:02,607
it's not like I don't understand
373
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,641
that there's darkness in life.
374
00:17:04,745 --> 00:17:06,193
Okay, let me tell you a story.
375
00:17:06,296 --> 00:17:08,434
So when I was a kid,
my parents were divorced,
376
00:17:08,538 --> 00:17:10,331
and I lived with my mother.
377
00:17:10,434 --> 00:17:13,227
And one night, we woke up,
and the house was on fire.
378
00:17:13,331 --> 00:17:14,400
So we ran out,
379
00:17:14,503 --> 00:17:17,814
and my mother ran back in
to save my dog,
380
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,814
and that's when my father
kidnapped me.
381
00:17:20,917 --> 00:17:24,124
Because it turns out that
he had started the fire
382
00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:26,158
to get back at my mother, so...
383
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:29,434
anyway, three months later,
the FBI found us
384
00:17:29,538 --> 00:17:32,055
and shot my father
through the brain
385
00:17:32,158 --> 00:17:33,469
right in front of me.
386
00:17:33,572 --> 00:17:36,469
But on the way
to the police station,
387
00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:39,676
a federal agent handed me
an ice cream sandwich.
388
00:17:39,779 --> 00:17:40,848
So yeah,
389
00:17:40,952 --> 00:17:41,952
I could easily
390
00:17:42,055 --> 00:17:43,814
look back at what happened
391
00:17:43,917 --> 00:17:45,538
and focus on the negative.
392
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:49,193
Or I could remember that
no matter how bad things get,
393
00:17:49,296 --> 00:17:50,641
there's always
an ice cream sandwich
394
00:17:50,745 --> 00:17:52,021
around the corner.
395
00:17:53,676 --> 00:17:55,641
- I just want to take a minute
to deeply apologize
396
00:17:55,745 --> 00:17:58,952
for throwing away
your ice cream sandwiches.
397
00:17:59,055 --> 00:18:01,089
- There's just one more thing
I want to show you.
398
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:05,779
- Well...
399
00:18:05,883 --> 00:18:07,193
you released me.
400
00:18:07,296 --> 00:18:09,158
So now I get to move on.
401
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:10,262
To hell.
402
00:18:10,365 --> 00:18:12,572
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's fine.
403
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,469
I was a terrible person,
so it doesn't matter.
404
00:18:14,572 --> 00:18:16,331
Hell's better than working
at Hampton DeVille, right?
405
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:18,021
- Yeah, I'm not cut out
for working here.
406
00:18:18,124 --> 00:18:19,641
- No one is.
407
00:18:19,745 --> 00:18:21,917
You just find your way to cope,
and you just keep going.
408
00:18:22,021 --> 00:18:23,227
- So is that it?
409
00:18:23,331 --> 00:18:24,469
- Yeah.
410
00:18:24,572 --> 00:18:25,952
Unless you want to make out.
411
00:18:26,055 --> 00:18:28,193
- Do you want to make out?
412
00:18:28,296 --> 00:18:29,227
- Yeah, whatever.
413
00:18:29,331 --> 00:18:31,469
I mean, I'm a ghost.
Who cares?
414
00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:33,676
- Oh!
415
00:18:40,434 --> 00:18:41,745
- You know, Jake,
I really do believe
416
00:18:41,848 --> 00:18:43,952
that putting positivity
into the world
417
00:18:44,055 --> 00:18:46,296
is kind of its own reward.
418
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,883
That's why I'm giving you
my parking space.
419
00:18:48,986 --> 00:18:50,848
- Wow. Peg.
420
00:18:50,952 --> 00:18:52,158
Thank you.
421
00:18:52,262 --> 00:18:54,365
But after all you've been
through, I feel kind of bad
422
00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:56,124
taking your parking spot.
423
00:18:56,227 --> 00:18:58,227
I definitely still will,
but I feel bad.
424
00:18:58,331 --> 00:19:00,745
- Don't worry about me.
425
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:01,986
Oh, and remember,
426
00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:03,262
always look on the bright--
427
00:19:03,365 --> 00:19:06,055
- ♪ Nothing is good enough
428
00:19:06,158 --> 00:19:09,400
♪ For people like you
429
00:19:09,503 --> 00:19:13,400
♪ Who have to have
someone take the fall ♪
430
00:19:15,434 --> 00:19:18,434
♪ And something to sabotage
431
00:19:18,538 --> 00:19:23,400
♪ Determined to lose it all
432
00:19:23,503 --> 00:19:26,434
♪ Nothing is
433
00:19:26,538 --> 00:19:29,227
♪ Good enough
434
00:19:37,848 --> 00:19:39,469
- John told me
to drop these off here.
435
00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:42,469
Whoa!
436
00:19:42,572 --> 00:19:43,848
You're the ghost.
437
00:19:43,952 --> 00:19:46,227
I found out where you died
and took a nap there.
438
00:19:46,331 --> 00:19:47,434
- What are you talking about?
439
00:19:47,538 --> 00:19:48,710
- Oh.
440
00:19:48,814 --> 00:19:50,503
I guess that was a dream.
441
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:51,538
- Gross. Don't dream about me.
442
00:19:51,641 --> 00:19:53,710
- Oh, no, it wasn't you.
443
00:19:53,814 --> 00:19:55,814
You were a dream ghost,
and I released you to hell.
444
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:57,952
And then we made out,
but it was your idea.
445
00:19:58,055 --> 00:19:58,952
I--listen.
446
00:19:59,055 --> 00:20:00,572
I'm not explaining this well.
447
00:20:00,676 --> 00:20:02,434
Here's the thing.
I'm a good guy.
448
00:20:02,538 --> 00:20:03,814
And if we got to know
each other,
449
00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:06,710
we'd laugh about this,
and, uh...
450
00:20:06,814 --> 00:20:08,986
if we hung out, uh,
we'd probably become friends.
451
00:20:09,089 --> 00:20:11,503
I know that this is
a weird situation.
452
00:20:11,607 --> 00:20:12,986
We all know that, both of us,
453
00:20:13,089 --> 00:20:16,538
and, uh, I just want you to know
that I'm with you on this.
454
00:20:16,641 --> 00:20:18,262
Bottom line,
I need you to trust me
455
00:20:18,365 --> 00:20:19,331
that I'm a good person.
456
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:20,607
That's it.
457
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:22,021
- Don't ever talk to me again.
458
00:20:22,124 --> 00:20:23,089
- Okay.
459
00:20:25,262 --> 00:20:26,124
- I hate all men.
460
00:20:39,745 --> 00:20:40,676
- Hey, Grace.
461
00:20:40,779 --> 00:20:43,021
Here you go, kiddo.
- Jake!
462
00:20:47,021 --> 00:20:48,021
- Man, Kevin,
463
00:20:48,124 --> 00:20:49,848
it's been so much easier
to get my work done
464
00:20:49,952 --> 00:20:51,365
now that I found
my new napping place.
465
00:20:51,469 --> 00:20:52,814
- Who's Kevin?
466
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:55,158
- Jake? But what happened to...
467
00:20:55,262 --> 00:20:58,745
was Kevin a ghost?
468
00:20:58,848 --> 00:21:00,331
- No, I just gave him
his office back.
469
00:21:00,434 --> 00:21:01,538
- Oh.
470
00:21:01,641 --> 00:21:02,986
That makes sense.
471
00:21:03,089 --> 00:21:05,262
- There's a spider
on your shoulder.
472
00:21:11,745 --> 00:21:13,124
- Wow, buddy.
473
00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:14,089
You play dirty.
474
00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:17,331
Filthy.
475
00:21:17,434 --> 00:21:18,883
I like that.
476
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:20,779
I like that, buddy.
477
00:21:20,883 --> 00:21:21,814
Let's go!
478
00:21:24,572 --> 00:21:25,503
Foul.
32758
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