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Okay, c'mon, focus. Okay, Cathy, you got this.
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When must a firm notify FINRA of penalty
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bids or syndicate covering transactions?
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Before engaging. Yes. No - before and after.
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Before and after. Yeah.
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Alright, boys and girls. Time is up.
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You've completed your training and
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you've now taken the Series 79 exam.
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All of you wannabe bankers are one step
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closer to actually being bankers.
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So while we tabulate your scores, I want you
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to take a look at this very informative video
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about our firm.
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Started in 1986 as a family investment management
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operation, Jack Boldwyn has built Boldwyn Brothers
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into an international leader in financial services.
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-Remind me what group you're in again?
-TMT. You?
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Retail. That's your boss up there
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Our investment banking division provides
the Fortune 500 with strategic
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advisory services on mergers and
acquisitions, divestitures, and debt and
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equity underwriting of public offerings.
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Boldwyn Brothers. Fortune favors the bold.
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Fortune favors the bold.
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Alright I am going to read a few names. If you hear
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yours, you will stand.
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Brian Chung.
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Eamonn Parker.
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Joanna Chadwick.
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Get the fuck out.
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You did not pass the Series 79.
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Your offer of employment is hereby rescinded.
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Do not pass go, do not collect $200,
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Go directly to loser jail.
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Get the fuck out!
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Get the fuck out!
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Goldman Sucks and Douche Bank may give
their reject employees a second chance
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but here, we only hire the best.
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This is the most rigorous career track on Wall Street.
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In three years, only half of you will make VP.
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Less than five will make Director.
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And the rest of you can hit the fucking bricks,
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because it's up or out.
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So I want you to ask yourself,
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Are you in or out?
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Welcome to Boldwyn Brothers.
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Your career begins tomorrow 8 o'clock sharp!
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[Music]
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Julie!
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Where my analysts?
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I don't know but Neil's in,
I left your dry-cleaning here and
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here are your poached eggs from the Four
Seasons.
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Thank you.
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Neil!
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-Where are my analysts?
-They had a long night here, sir.
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Get me a fucking analyst or I'll demote you so
fast, you'll be shining shoes in the lobby.
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I'm on it, sir.
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[Knock]
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Good morning!
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Cathy Lee, sir. It's my first day.
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-Cathy, glad to have you on the team.
-Thank you.
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Don't fuck it up.
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Okay.
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[Knock]
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Good morning, Neil.
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What should I do?
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Walk around, find a desk with your name on it.
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Free breakfast today huh?
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Does this look like Silicon Valley to you?
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Do you mean like the city or the show?
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Hey boss man, I just got the email about
the free breakfast.
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Get out.
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Now. Go. Leave.
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See you in the meeting.
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-This one, I found it! It's right here.
-You found it? You got it?
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Okay, great, sit down and get to work.
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Okay. Yep.
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[Traffic]
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After you've been here a week, you won't
even notice the noise.
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Steve!
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-I haven't seen you since
-Since you TA'd my econ class at Cal.
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I'm glad you joined Boldwyn, Cathy,
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we need good people who aren't total assholes.
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So we'll be working together?
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Well I'm a third-year analyst, so I'll be working for you.
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That is, until I make associate next year.
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So give me the download on this place,
what do I need to know?
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Oh well, it's your first day, it's not gonna be crazy, but
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Everyone take a seat!
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-We'll catch up later
-Okay
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-Merkin, get up. -It's not assigned seats.
-It's my seat.
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Myrtle, cut the bullshit, get in your booster seat now.
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-Where's the breakfast, Big Deal Neil?
-There is no breakfast.
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But you wrote in the email there was gonna be
free breakfast.
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That was the only way I could get you all
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here in under 30 minutes.
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Damn, Neil.
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That's cold, man, that's cold.
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Hey, if anyone's gonna use slang in
this office, it's gonna be me or Fred.
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Right, Fred?
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Listen. I've got a couple of announcements.
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First, I'd like to introduce our
newest associate Cathy Lee.
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Analysts, listen to what she says.
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-I really look forward
-Second announcement
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Bolo was here this morning at 8:00 a.m.
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and chewed me out because no one was here.
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What the hell guys?
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It's hard to wake up. You know we work really late.
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No, Mitch, how do I know that?
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Cause you were an analyst, you know what it's like?
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Starting today, we have a new policy.
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If you work past 3:00 a.m., you must email me to tell
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me what deal you're working on,
and which Director it's for.
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Are you serious?
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When it's 3:00 a.m., I just want to go home.
I don't want to do this extra shit.
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Goldberg, unless you have something
constructive, shut up.
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You're all expected to be here at 8:00 a.m. Every day.
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-What about Saturday or Sunday?
-Don't be a smartass, Danny.
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What? I'm just asking. Don't have to hate.
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8:00 a.m. Monday through Friday.
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On the weekends, you work your hours out with
your VP or Director.
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Any other questions?
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These just arrived. Delivery guy said they were for
the conference room.
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-What's this?
-Oh, Neil, remember when you and I spoke this morning
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and I convinced you to actually order breakfast for everyone?
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Oh right, see guys, I'm not a total asshole.
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So you got us breakfast sandwiches but no coffee?
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Coffee's for closers.
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Uh-huh.
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Get some food and get back to work. Steve,
Danny, Bolo's office. Now.
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Julie, do you want a bagel?
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No, I don't. I never do.
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Keep swinging, buddy, can't hit a homer if you don't swing.
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Ouch!
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Are you okay?
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No, that really hurt.
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Deliberately trying to hurt my feelings.
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What the fuck is this?
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Why are the costs on this pro forma 30% higher than
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last time? What the hell's wrong your model?
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We talked about this.
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You agreed we should bake in the
additional G&A, and just footnote it.
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See the footnote.
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Fuck that, take that shit out.
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-But then
-No.
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That's not an apples to apples
comparison post spin-out.
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That's not your job, Steve.
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Your job is to do what I tell you.
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We're pitching this tomorrow, and you're
arguing with me over the financials?
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We should do it the right way.
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Apples to apples.
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My way is the right way.
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And now you're fired.
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How about them apples?
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What?
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What? Get the fuck out.
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Now!
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Steve,
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I'm so sorry.
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What are we gonna do without you? You're the master.
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You taught us Alt-F4.
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You've got Cathy to teach you now.
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She's great, seriously.
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I just started.
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You've got this.
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Okay, time to go.
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Um, what about my stuff?
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The firm will pack it and send to you.
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It's been real, guys.
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That's enough, guys, we have work to do.
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Cathy, in here now.
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Oh I call dibs on Steve's stapler.
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What the hell happened to yours?
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I don't know, I keep losing them.
12959
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