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1
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,300
(Alarm bleeps)
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,180
Oh, um, ma'am.
I get you go back, please. Uh...
3
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,020
(Alarm bleeps)
4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,180
You got no ring on your fingers,
uh, on your toes?
5
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,420
Nothing in your pocket?
6
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,500
No, no, nothing in my pockets.
7
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,860
Oh, hang on.
8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,580
Oh. Sorry.
Oh, phone, yes.
9
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,680
Happens all the time. It's OK.
10
00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,780
(Alarm bleeps)
Can I get you to go back, yes?
11
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,500
(Alarm bleeps)
12
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,600
Oh! Oh.
13
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,780
Keys.
14
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,220
Keys.
15
00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,320
(Alarm bleeps)
16
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,520
(Alarm bleeps)
Sorry.
17
00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,680
(Camera clicks)
Yeah, camera.
18
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,960
(Alarm bleeps)
19
00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,560
(Alarm bleeps)
20
00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,080
Oh, ee-ah-weh.
21
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,640
(Sighs)
22
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000
(Laughs)
23
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,100
OK, come through.
24
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,200
Theme music
25
00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,180
Sorry I'm late.
You been waiting long?
26
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,420
Oh, 45 minutes.
27
00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,740
Oh, that's good.
28
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,420
Uh, sorry, how is that good?
29
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,720
Better me take a shit in the toilet
than in the car, eh?
30
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,060
OK, let's get a move on.
31
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,160
OK.
32
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,220
What you doing?
33
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,700
Um, getting in the car?
34
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,000
Haven't you heard of
the pre-driving good luck ceremony?
35
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,540
No, I haven't.
36
00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:28,860
Oh, bud, not off
to a very good start, are ya?
37
00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,500
That's not an actual thing,
though... is it?
38
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,340
Are you the instructor now?
You can teach me how to drive.
39
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,440
No, I wasn't saying that.
I was just...
40
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,940
I got the clipboard.
41
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,300
You got shit. Now get in the car.
42
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,820
Uh, what about
the pre-driving good luck ceremony?
43
00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,600
That's not a thing.
Now get in the car.
44
00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,120
(Both moan erotically)
45
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,540
(Moans)
46
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,380
Why do they call it 'missionary'?
47
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,480
What?
48
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,340
'Missionary'.
49
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,220
Yeah, why do...
they call it 'missionary'?
50
00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,320
I don't know.
51
00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:42,240
Maybe because of the missionaries?
Like... Like Christian missionaries?
52
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,460
Like the missionaries
that came and created missions
53
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,340
for Aboriginal people?
54
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,400
What are you talking about?
(Moans) This...
55
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,140
(Moans) This feels kind of weird.
56
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,700
What do you mean?
57
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,980
Kind of... oppressive.
What do you mean 'oppressive'?
58
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,500
You on top of me in missionary.
59
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:10,300
I, as an Aboriginal woman,
can't have a white man on top of her,
60
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,060
inside of her,
and it be called 'missionary'.
61
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,940
Nope.
We could call it something else.
62
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,780
Like what?
63
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,960
'Man on top'.
64
00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,500
(Moans) Wait, wait. 'Man on top'?
Mm-hm.
65
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,380
Are you serious, Cale?
66
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,740
Do you really need to reiterate
the power of the patriarchy
67
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,100
inside of the bedroom?
68
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,360
Yeah, you're right.
What about, um...
69
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,340
Gifts from above.
Your penis is a gift?
70
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,180
Pleasure from the sky?
71
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,740
From the sky. Like God.
Great, now I'm back at missionary.
72
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,380
What about 'journey to the...'
Look, it's not the words.
73
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,220
It's the meaning.
74
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,780
Who cares what the name is
if it just symbolises the same thing?
75
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,660
You invading me and colonising me.
76
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,100
Your goodwill and faith
is just a facade
77
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,700
as you destroy me from the inside.
78
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,740
You fill me with your beliefs
as you plough me dry
79
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,540
for my natural resources.
80
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,660
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
God.
81
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,000
We're not going there.
82
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,680
Cale...
83
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,280
..we need to talk seriously
about this.
84
00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,000
(Snoring)
85
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,040
Hey!
86
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,320
(Snorts)
87
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,660
(Knocking)
88
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,940
HIP-HOP
89
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,040
Hey!
90
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,100
You right?
Yeah.
91
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,200
Come on, let's go have some fun.
92
00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,980
(Slap!)
(Air whistling)
93
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,920
HIP-HOP
94
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,900
Eyah, slut.
95
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,540
What, slut?
96
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,740
We need to talk.
About what?
97
00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,020
About us.
98
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,120
(Gasps)
I knew you were gonna say that.
99
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,200
It's like we've got
a psycho connection.
100
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,100
So, what about us?
101
00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,460
I need to know if... you're my man.
102
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,080
Oh. Why do you need to know?
Isn't it obvious?
103
00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,140
I need to hear it.
104
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,440
Only reason you wanna hear it
is so you can put it up on Facebook
105
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,520
and let everybody know
that I'm your slut.
106
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,620
So what if I do?
What if I do it first?
107
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,660
Then everybody will know
that we're sluts.
108
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,820
Anyway, can't even tell me.
109
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:11,540
(Gasps) Well, what's this, then,
slut? You're my man.
110
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,300
Oh. Well, what's this, then, slut?
You're my man too.
111
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400
Oh. Well what's this, then, slut?
112
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,400
If you cheat on me,
I will cut your budhoo off.
113
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,860
Rowr!
114
00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,540
If you do, can you put it up
on the wall as a trophy?
115
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,620
No! Only my eyes be seeing
your budhoo from now on.
116
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,220
Ooh! Are your eyes big enough?
117
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,580
(Gasps) Big enough for big budhoo.
118
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,180
Proper big hole.
Oh!
119
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,280
Are you gonna change
your Facebook status?
120
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,540
Already have.
(Mobile phone bleeps)
121
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,500
Ooh. You move proper fast.
122
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,740
Can you keep up?
I can keep... anything up.
123
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,900
(Mobile phone bleeps)
124
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,800
(Gasps) Well, now it's official.
Now the world knows... we're sluts.
125
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,660
Eternal sluts.
For eternity.
126
00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,620
Can't even celebrate.
(Gasps)
127
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,300
What's this, then, slut?
128
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,540
(Gasps)
Well, what's this, then, slut?
129
00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,940
What's this, then... slut?
130
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:04,500
What's this, then, slut?
What's this, then, slut?
131
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,100
What's this, then, slut?
(Gasps)
132
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,200
JOYOUS PARTY MUSIC
133
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,640
What if I kiss you?
134
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,100
OK.
135
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,340
And you get on top?
136
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,440
Yeah, that could work.
137
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,420
(Both grunt)
I love you, babe.
138
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,720
(Both moan erotically)
139
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,060
Why do I have to do all the work?
What?
140
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,180
This is just sooo typical.
141
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,380
The black woman doing all the work,
142
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,660
and the white man can just lay back
and reap all of the rewards.
143
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,760
No, it's meant to be
that you're in control,
144
00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:16,240
you're on top
and you control the pleasure.
145
00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,420
Yeah, it would seem that way,
wouldn't it?
146
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,420
Yes.
147
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,220
Yeah. But I'm not really
in control, am I?
148
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,500
Because I'm doing all the work,
aren't I?
149
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,820
I'm working harder
than I've ever worked before,
150
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,900
and you just lay back
and reap all of the rewards
151
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,060
and the cycle of oppression
continues.
152
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,380
What cycle?
153
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,680
I don't want to keep you in a
cycle - I just wanna make you come.
154
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,940
Make me what, Cale?!
155
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,040
Make you feel good.
156
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,340
Well, then how about
YOU try doing something.
157
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,860
OK. How?
158
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,180
Oh, I can't think of everything,
Cale. Just do something.
159
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,180
Take responsibility
for your own decisions.
160
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,340
It's time. Time for change.
161
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,300
OK. Now?
162
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,600
Yes, now.
163
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,680
OK. You're just sitting on
my bladder, I really need a wee.
164
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,400
Oh, OK, sorry.
165
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,960
Dad?
166
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,760
Yes, son?
167
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,700
If there were no black people,
168
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,400
would that mean white people
would be the best dancers?
169
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,040
Yeah.
170
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,960
I guess it would.
171
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,880
Yeah.
172
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,560
Yeah.
173
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,340
Mr Farmer...
174
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,680
That's Uncle Doctor, thank you.
175
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,220
Uncle Doctor...
176
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,020
..you have been brought here
in front of the medical board today
177
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,980
to answer claims of malpractice.
178
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,580
Malpractice makes perfect.
179
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,940
'Malpractice', 'MAL-practice'.
180
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,040
It has been brought to our attention
181
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,640
that you have been
practicing medicine
182
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,540
under the guise of a Doctorate
which was awarded to you
183
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,560
for your services as an advisory
to the university board.
184
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,400
You have no actual medical training.
185
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,180
You treated a patient
with a compound leg fracture
186
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,280
with Vicks VapoRub.
187
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,760
Is he dead?
188
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,220
Well, no, but...
189
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,780
You prescribed flat lemonade
for an appendicitis
190
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,740
which needed an emergency surgery -
191
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,400
we were within minutes
of a man's life!
192
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,420
Is he dead?
193
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,520
Well, no,
but that is hardly the point.
194
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,780
A man with severe head trauma
was told,
195
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,540
'You'll be right', and...
196
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,740
to... 'walk it off'.
'Walk it off.'
197
00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,840
Yeah.
198
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,340
Is he dead?
199
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,160
No, but he is in a vegetative state.
200
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,120
Is he dead?
201
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:35,540
Look, you may not understand my
methods but you will respect them.
202
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:42,340
They've been passed down to me from
Grandfather Doctor to Father Doctor
203
00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,460
to me, Uncle Doctor,
204
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:50,180
and I'm gonna pass them on
to Nephew Doctor and Cousin Doctor.
205
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,620
You told a man with third-degree
burns to put vinegar on it.
206
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,380
Is he dead?
207
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,480
Yes! He's dead!
208
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,980
(Sighs)
209
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,140
One of the hardest things
about being Uncle Doctor,
210
00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,860
you know, you can't win 'em all.
211
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,260
You're not a doctor!
212
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,980
I'm Uncle Doctor!
213
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,080
And I'll be fucked,
I get the job done!
214
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,780
Uncle Doctor, you are not trained
215
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,900
to be practising
any kind of medicine.
216
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,460
Who's practising here?
217
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,580
This is the real thing,
I'm playing for keeps. Listen.
218
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,100
To save this hospital
any embarrassment about this gaffe,
219
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,060
we are not going to make this public.
220
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,300
However, if you are caught
in a hospital or medical service
221
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,340
in any capacity
other than a patient,
222
00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,820
you will be arrested and prosecuted.
223
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,080
'Embarrassment?'?
224
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:52,280
Well then, big mouth, shutchole,
shutchole, shutchole.
225
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,980
You don't have to shut yer hole.
226
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,320
But you three, shutchole!
227
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,180
What are you doing?
228
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,280
I'm being responsible
for my own decisions.
229
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,820
Oh, OK.
230
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,140
May I start?
Uh, yes, start when you want.
231
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,240
OK. I've got your, like,
express permission to just...
232
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,940
Oh, my God, Cale,
what are you planning to do
233
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,040
where you need my express consent?
Just sex stuff!
234
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,260
Just start!
OK!
235
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,500
(Moans) Oh, yeah.
236
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,340
Um...
237
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,800
What do I normally do with my hands?
You decide.
238
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960
What was that?
It was an arse slap.
239
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,500
Oh, Cale, if you're gonna slap
my arse, slap it - don't tap it.
240
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,740
Slap it!
(Smack!)
241
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,660
Ow! What was that?!
A slap.
242
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,180
Oh, I can't do this.
243
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,140
What, it felt bad?
No, it feels good.
244
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,380
Well?
245
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,620
It just doesn't feel... right.
246
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,440
Well, what's wrong?
We're both adults, we're being safe.
247
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,660
Are we?
Yes!
248
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,300
But what is safe for us
might not be safe for others.
249
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,620
We don't live in a vacuum,
our decisions have consequences.
250
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,040
May, it's just sex.
Is it, Cale? Is it just sex?
251
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,120
Or are we perpetuating
a culture of oppression
252
00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,060
through our own personal decisions?
253
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,980
Maybe you, a white man,
being behind me, a black woman,
254
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,700
slapping me like a dog
is more than just sex -
255
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,100
maybe it's a symbol for society.
256
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,260
And can I ever really consent
to that?
257
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,140
I don't know, May.
I don't know what to do.
258
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,160
I don't know how to dismantle
my white male privilege
259
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,480
to come up with a sexual position
to empower us both equally
260
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,560
whilst challenging the status quo
261
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,040
and bringing us both
to an adequate climax.
262
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,420
Cale, I can't do this on my own.
We need to be allies.
263
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,220
We're in this together.
You, me and society.
264
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,460
OK. What about side by side,
where we're both equals?
265
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,500
Just no-one's on top,
no-one's below, just face to face.
266
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,900
Equals. OK?
267
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,980
Yeah. OK.
268
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,140
OK.
269
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,100
Now?
Yes, now.
270
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,140
I just need to wee first.
271
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,240
OK, you go wee,
I'll try and get ready.
272
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,520
Oh, shit.
273
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,140
Well, now you know
how Aboriginal people feel.
274
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,280
And so does Pebbles.
275
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,700
Oh, Mr Hookey?
Yeah. Yeah, John.
276
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,220
G'day.
277
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,260
I'm here to see, um,
Teefarnay O'Reilly.
278
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,980
Teefarnay? You mean Tiffany.
279
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,820
Yeah, Tiffany.
280
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,200
Um, can you tell me
what this is about?
281
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,480
Because I'm not too sure whether
I want to speak with her, because...
282
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,580
..we kind of ended up
on really bad terms.
283
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,100
The only thing I bin guilty of
is lovin' you, John.
284
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,740
I bin giving my all, but I never bin
gettin' nothing in return.
285
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,940
Ah, we've heard all about it.
Really?
286
00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,280
Well, what'd she say?
Oh, she told us everything.
287
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,220
You're not Murri.
288
00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,420
Here, bubba, you don't wanna
talk to me like that
289
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,900
when I belongs to you.
290
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,780
That's proper 'urtful, you know?
291
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,060
She's been here a few months now.
292
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,480
Ever since we found her running
around out there in the desert,
293
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,000
naked, covered in mud,
claiming land rights.
294
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,820
Look, the best way for her
to get over it is by facing it.
295
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,860
(Sighs) Alright, fair enough.
I'll speak with her.
296
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,320
OK. Through this way, mate.
297
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,840
Tiffany, you have a visitor.
298
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,380
(Normal voice)
Hello, John. How are you?
299
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,860
Yeah, I'm well. You?
300
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,080
Better.
301
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,860
The doctors, they say
that if I keep making progress,
302
00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,000
then I'll be out of eyah...
303
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,100
..here... within a couple of months.
304
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,220
Well, that's nice to hear.
305
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,860
So, can you tell me
why you wanted to see me?
306
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,380
Wasn't my idea.
307
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,880
The doctors thought it would
be good for me to see you.
308
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,520
They say that my decline started
when I started dating you.
309
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,680
Please don't think
that I'm blaming you.
310
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,520
I told them that I'd be...
proper shame...
311
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,120
Sorry.
312
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,740
I just... I still have my moments.
313
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,760
Look, you'll be alright.
You'll get through this.
314
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,700
I mean, if there's one thing
I know about you,
315
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,560
once you put your mind to something,
there's no stopping you.
316
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,640
Thanks, John.
317
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,900
Well, look, Elaine's waiting for me,
so I better go.
318
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,860
Is that the girl I met in the cafe
when I had my little outburst?
319
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,620
Yeah.
320
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,720
She seemed nice.
321
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,180
It was really nice to see you, Tiff.
322
00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,100
And I wish you a speedy recovery.
323
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,200
Me too, John. Me too.
324
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,880
OK. See ya.
325
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,980
Eyah la you, fella!
326
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,340
You bin hurt me proper bad!
327
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,580
And if there's one thing
Teefarnay never bin forget,
328
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,940
it's the pain she bin feel
when you fella
329
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,440
bin put that knife
through her heart.
330
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,340
So, look out, John Hookey.
I'm coming for you, fella!
331
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,980
I'm coming for you, fella,
and your uptown woman,
332
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,500
and you fella will know
how that pain bin feel.
333
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,120
Oh... (Hisses)
..you fella will know!
334
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,580
How'd you go?
335
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:28,680
Yeah, good.
I think she's gonna be OK.
336
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,460
You ready?
337
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,560
Yeah, I'm ready.
338
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,720
Dad?
339
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,940
Yes, son.
340
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:03,160
You know how they call black people
who hang out at parks 'parkies'?
341
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,020
Yes, son.
342
00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,880
Well, does that make us... beachies?
343
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,800
Yeah.
344
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,640
Yeah, it does.
345
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,040
Beachies.
346
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,400
Yeah.
347
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:28,980
Yeah.
348
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,780
So, for the ground-breaking
ceremony,
349
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,980
we've been asked to include
a Welcome to Country.
350
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,700
What is that?
351
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,900
Oh, it's like an Aborigine
welcomes us to their land,
352
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,460
and they kind of bang on
about how we should respect it
353
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,100
and... cultural stuff.
354
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,500
Apparently, in the last year,
it's become the norm.
355
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,220
Everyone's doing it.
We need to keep up.
356
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,740
OK. Are we on to it?
You bet.
357
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,300
Last night I jumped on
to Google, made a few phone calls,
358
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,400
got the names of
a couple of Aborigines
359
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,520
who specialise in this sort of thing.
Oh, excellent. Anyone good?
360
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,620
Yeah, there's an old man called Ben
361
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,740
who goes by the stage name
'Uncle Jack'.
362
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,760
Great, we'll have him. That's good.
Wait, there were some others, yeah?
363
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,840
There was an old woman
who's highly recommended,
364
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,460
goes by the name of Aunty Dot.
365
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,000
'Aunty Dot', that sounds nice.
Let's have her.
366
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,340
The thing is she asked for $1,000
367
00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,800
plus exclusive rights
to all our Welcome to Countries.
368
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,620
Oh, that'd be right.
369
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,140
Um, what about the Jack guy?
370
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,020
Jack only asked for $500,
371
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,740
but he wants a tab at the bar
for him and his nephews.
372
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,360
OK, it's a ground-breaking ceremony,
there won't be a bar.
373
00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,820
We shouldn't have to pay
374
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,600
for all this ancient mumbo jumbo
we don't even want.
375
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,060
Too bloody right!
376
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,160
They should do it
for the love of it.
377
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,800
Geez.
378
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,220
Why don't we just do it ourselves?
379
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,780
I mean, how hard can it be?
380
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,940
Thank you all for coming today.
381
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:55,260
So, as we prepare to break ground
on this amazing new development,
382
00:22:55,360 --> 00:23:00,220
we would like to pay respects to the
traditional custodians of the land
383
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,060
with a traditional
Welcome to County.
384
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,980
(Muted applause)
385
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,700
(Mutters unintelligibly
386
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,180
Hello. Hello.
387
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,160
How you mob doin', eh?
Are you deadly? Yeah?
388
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,660
Er, we got proper good land
to be sold here, eh?
389
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,540
Proper good price too, huh?
390
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,720
So, uh... let's break this land.
391
00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,440
(Applauds)
392
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,880
I wonder who his mob are?
393
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,800
(Both moan erotically)
394
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,380
Oh, yeah.
395
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,860
Oh, this feels great. Yeah.
396
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,740
Equal.
BOTH: Uh-huh.
397
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,500
Nothing more, nothing less.
Yep.
398
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,260
You're... You're not in.
399
00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,360
Oh.
400
00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,100
Wait.
401
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,020
You've gone soft.
Why have you gone soft?
402
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,820
Is it... Is it me?
403
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,820
Hey, no, no. No, no.
404
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,180
Well, kind of.
405
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,560
What do you mean, 'kind of'?
Well...
406
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,340
It's just hard for me to...
you know, get it up,
407
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,960
because I can't look at you
without thinking about you being...
408
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,940
Being what?
Being Aboriginal.
409
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,620
Oh. Oh, so you're a racist?
No! No.
410
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,820
Oh, OK, so your penis is a racist?
411
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,380
My penis is not a racist.
412
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,820
But you can't have sex with me
because I'm Aboriginal.
413
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,700
I just can't, as a white man,
have sex with you, a black woman,
414
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,800
without oppressing you
or your people.
415
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:40,380
Well, maybe you're being racist
if you DON'T have sex with me.
416
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:45,360
Yeah, maybe you need to have sex
with me to bridge... the gap?
417
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:47,980
Yeah?
418
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,540
Yeah, maybe you need
to have sex with me as action
419
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,500
that affirms, as affirmative action.
420
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,600
Yeah.
421
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,660
Our ancestors didn't fight
for our civil rights,
422
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,260
they didn't march across
The Harbour Bridge
423
00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:13,620
and Kevin Rudd did not say 'sorry'
for us to not have sex.
424
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,720
It's our duty as Australians.
425
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,340
We're going to have sex
in every position,
426
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,180
free of the white, male patriarchy.
427
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:28,700
This is one night for man,
but one giant lifetime for mankind.
428
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,820
(Moans)
429
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,200
(Moans)
430
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,540
(Moans)
431
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,740
May?
432
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:40,980
Yes, Cale.
433
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,780
Oh. I just came.
434
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,880
Oh, shit.
435
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,740
(Both exhale)
436
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,400
(Snores)
437
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,700
Do you feel like...
you're doing fuck-all?
438
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,400
And you feel like you
should be doing fuck heaps?
439
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,300
Well, you probably just need
a little bit of motivation.
440
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:20,420
And my series of books and audio
books, as read by me, Uncle Doctor,
441
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,220
are bound to get you
on the right path.
442
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:30,640
My 'Fuck Up and Do Sumfint' series
starts with Vol.1 - Shutchole.
443
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,440
The reason you're not doing fuck-all
is because ya probably talkin' shit.
444
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,540
Shutchole.
445
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,480
See, you're not reaching ya
full potential coz ya full of shit,
446
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,080
something's not right with you.
Shutchole.
447
00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,640
(Strains)
448
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:57,000
Each book is pleather-bound,
so it feels mad.
449
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,860
Order now and get
my other bestsellers like...
450
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,540
(Gasps) That's Probably Infected.
451
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,540
Is He Dead? Vol.4.
452
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,160
And Stop Fuckin' Around
And Get It Togevva.
453
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,520
Order now, ya dumb dog.
454
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,720
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