All language subtitles for Black.Comedy.S02E04_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:08,300 (Alarm bleeps) 2 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:12,180 Oh, um, ma'am. I get you go back, please. Uh... 3 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,020 (Alarm bleeps) 4 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:18,180 You got no ring on your fingers, uh, on your toes? 5 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,420 Nothing in your pocket? 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,500 No, no, nothing in my pockets. 7 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:22,860 Oh, hang on. 8 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,580 Oh. Sorry. Oh, phone, yes. 9 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,680 Happens all the time. It's OK. 10 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,780 (Alarm bleeps) Can I get you to go back, yes? 11 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,500 (Alarm bleeps) 12 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,600 Oh! Oh. 13 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,780 Keys. 14 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:40,220 Keys. 15 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,320 (Alarm bleeps) 16 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,520 (Alarm bleeps) Sorry. 17 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,680 (Camera clicks) Yeah, camera. 18 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:52,960 (Alarm bleeps) 19 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:55,560 (Alarm bleeps) 20 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,080 Oh, ee-ah-weh. 21 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,640 (Sighs) 22 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000 (Laughs) 23 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,100 OK, come through. 24 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,200 Theme music 25 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,180 Sorry I'm late. You been waiting long? 26 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:02,420 Oh, 45 minutes. 27 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,740 Oh, that's good. 28 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,420 Uh, sorry, how is that good? 29 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:10,720 Better me take a shit in the toilet than in the car, eh? 30 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:14,060 OK, let's get a move on. 31 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,160 OK. 32 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,220 What you doing? 33 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:20,700 Um, getting in the car? 34 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,000 Haven't you heard of the pre-driving good luck ceremony? 35 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,540 No, I haven't. 36 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:28,860 Oh, bud, not off to a very good start, are ya? 37 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:33,500 That's not an actual thing, though... is it? 38 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,340 Are you the instructor now? You can teach me how to drive. 39 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:41,440 No, I wasn't saying that. I was just... 40 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:45,940 I got the clipboard. 41 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,300 You got shit. Now get in the car. 42 00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,820 Uh, what about the pre-driving good luck ceremony? 43 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:55,600 That's not a thing. Now get in the car. 44 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,120 (Both moan erotically) 45 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,540 (Moans) 46 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,380 Why do they call it 'missionary'? 47 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,480 What? 48 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,340 'Missionary'. 49 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,220 Yeah, why do... they call it 'missionary'? 50 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,320 I don't know. 51 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:42,240 Maybe because of the missionaries? Like... Like Christian missionaries? 52 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,460 Like the missionaries that came and created missions 53 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,340 for Aboriginal people? 54 00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,400 What are you talking about? (Moans) This... 55 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:55,140 (Moans) This feels kind of weird. 56 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,700 What do you mean? 57 00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,980 Kind of... oppressive. What do you mean 'oppressive'? 58 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,500 You on top of me in missionary. 59 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:10,300 I, as an Aboriginal woman, can't have a white man on top of her, 60 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,060 inside of her, and it be called 'missionary'. 61 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,940 Nope. We could call it something else. 62 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,780 Like what? 63 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:20,960 'Man on top'. 64 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:25,500 (Moans) Wait, wait. 'Man on top'? Mm-hm. 65 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,380 Are you serious, Cale? 66 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:30,740 Do you really need to reiterate the power of the patriarchy 67 00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:32,100 inside of the bedroom? 68 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,360 Yeah, you're right. What about, um... 69 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,340 Gifts from above. Your penis is a gift? 70 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,180 Pleasure from the sky? 71 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:42,740 From the sky. Like God. Great, now I'm back at missionary. 72 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:45,380 What about 'journey to the...' Look, it's not the words. 73 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:47,220 It's the meaning. 74 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,780 Who cares what the name is if it just symbolises the same thing? 75 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,660 You invading me and colonising me. 76 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:58,100 Your goodwill and faith is just a facade 77 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,700 as you destroy me from the inside. 78 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,740 You fill me with your beliefs as you plough me dry 79 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,540 for my natural resources. 80 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,660 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! God. 81 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,000 We're not going there. 82 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,680 Cale... 83 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,280 ..we need to talk seriously about this. 84 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:41,000 (Snoring) 85 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,040 Hey! 86 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,320 (Snorts) 87 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,660 (Knocking) 88 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,940 HIP-HOP 89 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,040 Hey! 90 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,100 You right? Yeah. 91 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,200 Come on, let's go have some fun. 92 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,980 (Slap!) (Air whistling) 93 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,920 HIP-HOP 94 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,900 Eyah, slut. 95 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,540 What, slut? 96 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,740 We need to talk. About what? 97 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:42,020 About us. 98 00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,120 (Gasps) I knew you were gonna say that. 99 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,200 It's like we've got a psycho connection. 100 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,100 So, what about us? 101 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,460 I need to know if... you're my man. 102 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,080 Oh. Why do you need to know? Isn't it obvious? 103 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,140 I need to hear it. 104 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,440 Only reason you wanna hear it is so you can put it up on Facebook 105 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,520 and let everybody know that I'm your slut. 106 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,620 So what if I do? What if I do it first? 107 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:04,660 Then everybody will know that we're sluts. 108 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,820 Anyway, can't even tell me. 109 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:11,540 (Gasps) Well, what's this, then, slut? You're my man. 110 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:15,300 Oh. Well, what's this, then, slut? You're my man too. 111 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,400 Oh. Well what's this, then, slut? 112 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,400 If you cheat on me, I will cut your budhoo off. 113 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:20,860 Rowr! 114 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:23,540 If you do, can you put it up on the wall as a trophy? 115 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:26,620 No! Only my eyes be seeing your budhoo from now on. 116 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,220 Ooh! Are your eyes big enough? 117 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,580 (Gasps) Big enough for big budhoo. 118 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,180 Proper big hole. Oh! 119 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,280 Are you gonna change your Facebook status? 120 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,540 Already have. (Mobile phone bleeps) 121 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,500 Ooh. You move proper fast. 122 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,740 Can you keep up? I can keep... anything up. 123 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,900 (Mobile phone bleeps) 124 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,800 (Gasps) Well, now it's official. Now the world knows... we're sluts. 125 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,660 Eternal sluts. For eternity. 126 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:52,620 Can't even celebrate. (Gasps) 127 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,300 What's this, then, slut? 128 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:57,540 (Gasps) Well, what's this, then, slut? 129 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,940 What's this, then... slut? 130 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:04,500 What's this, then, slut? What's this, then, slut? 131 00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:07,100 What's this, then, slut? (Gasps) 132 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,200 JOYOUS PARTY MUSIC 133 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,640 What if I kiss you? 134 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,100 OK. 135 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:36,340 And you get on top? 136 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,440 Yeah, that could work. 137 00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,420 (Both grunt) I love you, babe. 138 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,720 (Both moan erotically) 139 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:04,060 Why do I have to do all the work? What? 140 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,180 This is just sooo typical. 141 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,380 The black woman doing all the work, 142 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,660 and the white man can just lay back and reap all of the rewards. 143 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,760 No, it's meant to be that you're in control, 144 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:16,240 you're on top and you control the pleasure. 145 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,420 Yeah, it would seem that way, wouldn't it? 146 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,420 Yes. 147 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,220 Yeah. But I'm not really in control, am I? 148 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,500 Because I'm doing all the work, aren't I? 149 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,820 I'm working harder than I've ever worked before, 150 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:31,900 and you just lay back and reap all of the rewards 151 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,060 and the cycle of oppression continues. 152 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,380 What cycle? 153 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,680 I don't want to keep you in a cycle - I just wanna make you come. 154 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,940 Make me what, Cale?! 155 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,040 Make you feel good. 156 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,340 Well, then how about YOU try doing something. 157 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,860 OK. How? 158 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,180 Oh, I can't think of everything, Cale. Just do something. 159 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,180 Take responsibility for your own decisions. 160 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,340 It's time. Time for change. 161 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,300 OK. Now? 162 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,600 Yes, now. 163 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,680 OK. You're just sitting on my bladder, I really need a wee. 164 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,400 Oh, OK, sorry. 165 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,960 Dad? 166 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,760 Yes, son? 167 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,700 If there were no black people, 168 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:36,400 would that mean white people would be the best dancers? 169 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,040 Yeah. 170 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,960 I guess it would. 171 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,880 Yeah. 172 00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:57,560 Yeah. 173 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,340 Mr Farmer... 174 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,680 That's Uncle Doctor, thank you. 175 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,220 Uncle Doctor... 176 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:12,020 ..you have been brought here in front of the medical board today 177 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,980 to answer claims of malpractice. 178 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,580 Malpractice makes perfect. 179 00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:19,940 'Malpractice', 'MAL-practice'. 180 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,040 It has been brought to our attention 181 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,640 that you have been practicing medicine 182 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,540 under the guise of a Doctorate which was awarded to you 183 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,560 for your services as an advisory to the university board. 184 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,400 You have no actual medical training. 185 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,180 You treated a patient with a compound leg fracture 186 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,280 with Vicks VapoRub. 187 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,760 Is he dead? 188 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,220 Well, no, but... 189 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,780 You prescribed flat lemonade for an appendicitis 190 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,740 which needed an emergency surgery - 191 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,400 we were within minutes of a man's life! 192 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,420 Is he dead? 193 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,520 Well, no, but that is hardly the point. 194 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,780 A man with severe head trauma was told, 195 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,540 'You'll be right', and... 196 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,740 to... 'walk it off'. 'Walk it off.' 197 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,840 Yeah. 198 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,340 Is he dead? 199 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,160 No, but he is in a vegetative state. 200 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,120 Is he dead? 201 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:35,540 Look, you may not understand my methods but you will respect them. 202 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:42,340 They've been passed down to me from Grandfather Doctor to Father Doctor 203 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,460 to me, Uncle Doctor, 204 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:50,180 and I'm gonna pass them on to Nephew Doctor and Cousin Doctor. 205 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,620 You told a man with third-degree burns to put vinegar on it. 206 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,380 Is he dead? 207 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,480 Yes! He's dead! 208 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:02,980 (Sighs) 209 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:07,140 One of the hardest things about being Uncle Doctor, 210 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,860 you know, you can't win 'em all. 211 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,260 You're not a doctor! 212 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,980 I'm Uncle Doctor! 213 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:15,080 And I'll be fucked, I get the job done! 214 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,780 Uncle Doctor, you are not trained 215 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,900 to be practising any kind of medicine. 216 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,460 Who's practising here? 217 00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:25,580 This is the real thing, I'm playing for keeps. Listen. 218 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:29,100 To save this hospital any embarrassment about this gaffe, 219 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,060 we are not going to make this public. 220 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:35,300 However, if you are caught in a hospital or medical service 221 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,340 in any capacity other than a patient, 222 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,820 you will be arrested and prosecuted. 223 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,080 'Embarrassment?'? 224 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:52,280 Well then, big mouth, shutchole, shutchole, shutchole. 225 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,980 You don't have to shut yer hole. 226 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,320 But you three, shutchole! 227 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,180 What are you doing? 228 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,280 I'm being responsible for my own decisions. 229 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:10,820 Oh, OK. 230 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,140 May I start? Uh, yes, start when you want. 231 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,240 OK. I've got your, like, express permission to just... 232 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,940 Oh, my God, Cale, what are you planning to do 233 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,040 where you need my express consent? Just sex stuff! 234 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,260 Just start! OK! 235 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,500 (Moans) Oh, yeah. 236 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:26,340 Um... 237 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,800 What do I normally do with my hands? You decide. 238 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,960 What was that? It was an arse slap. 239 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,500 Oh, Cale, if you're gonna slap my arse, slap it - don't tap it. 240 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,740 Slap it! (Smack!) 241 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,660 Ow! What was that?! A slap. 242 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,180 Oh, I can't do this. 243 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,140 What, it felt bad? No, it feels good. 244 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:43,380 Well? 245 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,620 It just doesn't feel... right. 246 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,440 Well, what's wrong? We're both adults, we're being safe. 247 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,660 Are we? Yes! 248 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,300 But what is safe for us might not be safe for others. 249 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,620 We don't live in a vacuum, our decisions have consequences. 250 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,040 May, it's just sex. Is it, Cale? Is it just sex? 251 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,120 Or are we perpetuating a culture of oppression 252 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,060 through our own personal decisions? 253 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,980 Maybe you, a white man, being behind me, a black woman, 254 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,700 slapping me like a dog is more than just sex - 255 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,100 maybe it's a symbol for society. 256 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,260 And can I ever really consent to that? 257 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:18,140 I don't know, May. I don't know what to do. 258 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,160 I don't know how to dismantle my white male privilege 259 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,480 to come up with a sexual position to empower us both equally 260 00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,560 whilst challenging the status quo 261 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,040 and bringing us both to an adequate climax. 262 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,420 Cale, I can't do this on my own. We need to be allies. 263 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:33,220 We're in this together. You, me and society. 264 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:37,460 OK. What about side by side, where we're both equals? 265 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,500 Just no-one's on top, no-one's below, just face to face. 266 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,900 Equals. OK? 267 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,980 Yeah. OK. 268 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:45,140 OK. 269 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,100 Now? Yes, now. 270 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,140 I just need to wee first. 271 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,240 OK, you go wee, I'll try and get ready. 272 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,520 Oh, shit. 273 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:13,140 Well, now you know how Aboriginal people feel. 274 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,280 And so does Pebbles. 275 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,700 Oh, Mr Hookey? Yeah. Yeah, John. 276 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,220 G'day. 277 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,260 I'm here to see, um, Teefarnay O'Reilly. 278 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,980 Teefarnay? You mean Tiffany. 279 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,820 Yeah, Tiffany. 280 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,200 Um, can you tell me what this is about? 281 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,480 Because I'm not too sure whether I want to speak with her, because... 282 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,580 ..we kind of ended up on really bad terms. 283 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,100 The only thing I bin guilty of is lovin' you, John. 284 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:53,740 I bin giving my all, but I never bin gettin' nothing in return. 285 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,940 Ah, we've heard all about it. Really? 286 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,280 Well, what'd she say? Oh, she told us everything. 287 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,220 You're not Murri. 288 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,420 Here, bubba, you don't wanna talk to me like that 289 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,900 when I belongs to you. 290 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,780 That's proper 'urtful, you know? 291 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,060 She's been here a few months now. 292 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,480 Ever since we found her running around out there in the desert, 293 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,000 naked, covered in mud, claiming land rights. 294 00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,820 Look, the best way for her to get over it is by facing it. 295 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,860 (Sighs) Alright, fair enough. I'll speak with her. 296 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,320 OK. Through this way, mate. 297 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,840 Tiffany, you have a visitor. 298 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:44,380 (Normal voice) Hello, John. How are you? 299 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,860 Yeah, I'm well. You? 300 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,080 Better. 301 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,860 The doctors, they say that if I keep making progress, 302 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,000 then I'll be out of eyah... 303 00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,100 ..here... within a couple of months. 304 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,220 Well, that's nice to hear. 305 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:06,860 So, can you tell me why you wanted to see me? 306 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,380 Wasn't my idea. 307 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,880 The doctors thought it would be good for me to see you. 308 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,520 They say that my decline started when I started dating you. 309 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,680 Please don't think that I'm blaming you. 310 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,520 I told them that I'd be... proper shame... 311 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,120 Sorry. 312 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,740 I just... I still have my moments. 313 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,760 Look, you'll be alright. You'll get through this. 314 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,700 I mean, if there's one thing I know about you, 315 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,560 once you put your mind to something, there's no stopping you. 316 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,640 Thanks, John. 317 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,900 Well, look, Elaine's waiting for me, so I better go. 318 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:03,860 Is that the girl I met in the cafe when I had my little outburst? 319 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,620 Yeah. 320 00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,720 She seemed nice. 321 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,180 It was really nice to see you, Tiff. 322 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,100 And I wish you a speedy recovery. 323 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,200 Me too, John. Me too. 324 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,880 OK. See ya. 325 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,980 Eyah la you, fella! 326 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,340 You bin hurt me proper bad! 327 00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:43,580 And if there's one thing Teefarnay never bin forget, 328 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,940 it's the pain she bin feel when you fella 329 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,440 bin put that knife through her heart. 330 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,340 So, look out, John Hookey. I'm coming for you, fella! 331 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,980 I'm coming for you, fella, and your uptown woman, 332 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:04,500 and you fella will know how that pain bin feel. 333 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:08,120 Oh... (Hisses) ..you fella will know! 334 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,580 How'd you go? 335 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:28,680 Yeah, good. I think she's gonna be OK. 336 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,460 You ready? 337 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,560 Yeah, I'm ready. 338 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,720 Dad? 339 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:57,940 Yes, son. 340 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:03,160 You know how they call black people who hang out at parks 'parkies'? 341 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,020 Yes, son. 342 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:10,880 Well, does that make us... beachies? 343 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,800 Yeah. 344 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,640 Yeah, it does. 345 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,040 Beachies. 346 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,400 Yeah. 347 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:28,980 Yeah. 348 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,780 So, for the ground-breaking ceremony, 349 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,980 we've been asked to include a Welcome to Country. 350 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,700 What is that? 351 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,900 Oh, it's like an Aborigine welcomes us to their land, 352 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,460 and they kind of bang on about how we should respect it 353 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,100 and... cultural stuff. 354 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,500 Apparently, in the last year, it's become the norm. 355 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,220 Everyone's doing it. We need to keep up. 356 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,740 OK. Are we on to it? You bet. 357 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,300 Last night I jumped on to Google, made a few phone calls, 358 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,400 got the names of a couple of Aborigines 359 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,520 who specialise in this sort of thing. Oh, excellent. Anyone good? 360 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,620 Yeah, there's an old man called Ben 361 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,740 who goes by the stage name 'Uncle Jack'. 362 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,760 Great, we'll have him. That's good. Wait, there were some others, yeah? 363 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,840 There was an old woman who's highly recommended, 364 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:12,460 goes by the name of Aunty Dot. 365 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,000 'Aunty Dot', that sounds nice. Let's have her. 366 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,340 The thing is she asked for $1,000 367 00:22:17,440 --> 00:22:19,800 plus exclusive rights to all our Welcome to Countries. 368 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,620 Oh, that'd be right. 369 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,140 Um, what about the Jack guy? 370 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,020 Jack only asked for $500, 371 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,740 but he wants a tab at the bar for him and his nephews. 372 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,360 OK, it's a ground-breaking ceremony, there won't be a bar. 373 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,820 We shouldn't have to pay 374 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,600 for all this ancient mumbo jumbo we don't even want. 375 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,060 Too bloody right! 376 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,160 They should do it for the love of it. 377 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,800 Geez. 378 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,220 Why don't we just do it ourselves? 379 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,780 I mean, how hard can it be? 380 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,940 Thank you all for coming today. 381 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:55,260 So, as we prepare to break ground on this amazing new development, 382 00:22:55,360 --> 00:23:00,220 we would like to pay respects to the traditional custodians of the land 383 00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,060 with a traditional Welcome to County. 384 00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,980 (Muted applause) 385 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,700 (Mutters unintelligibly 386 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:08,180 Hello. Hello. 387 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,160 How you mob doin', eh? Are you deadly? Yeah? 388 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,660 Er, we got proper good land to be sold here, eh? 389 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,540 Proper good price too, huh? 390 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,720 So, uh... let's break this land. 391 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,440 (Applauds) 392 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,880 I wonder who his mob are? 393 00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,800 (Both moan erotically) 394 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,380 Oh, yeah. 395 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,860 Oh, this feels great. Yeah. 396 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:48,740 Equal. BOTH: Uh-huh. 397 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,500 Nothing more, nothing less. Yep. 398 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,260 You're... You're not in. 399 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:56,360 Oh. 400 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,100 Wait. 401 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:03,020 You've gone soft. Why have you gone soft? 402 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,820 Is it... Is it me? 403 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,820 Hey, no, no. No, no. 404 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:08,180 Well, kind of. 405 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,560 What do you mean, 'kind of'? Well... 406 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:16,340 It's just hard for me to... you know, get it up, 407 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,960 because I can't look at you without thinking about you being... 408 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,940 Being what? Being Aboriginal. 409 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,620 Oh. Oh, so you're a racist? No! No. 410 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:25,820 Oh, OK, so your penis is a racist? 411 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,380 My penis is not a racist. 412 00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:29,820 But you can't have sex with me because I'm Aboriginal. 413 00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:33,700 I just can't, as a white man, have sex with you, a black woman, 414 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,800 without oppressing you or your people. 415 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:40,380 Well, maybe you're being racist if you DON'T have sex with me. 416 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:45,360 Yeah, maybe you need to have sex with me to bridge... the gap? 417 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:47,980 Yeah? 418 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,540 Yeah, maybe you need to have sex with me as action 419 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,500 that affirms, as affirmative action. 420 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,600 Yeah. 421 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,660 Our ancestors didn't fight for our civil rights, 422 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,260 they didn't march across The Harbour Bridge 423 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:13,620 and Kevin Rudd did not say 'sorry' for us to not have sex. 424 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,720 It's our duty as Australians. 425 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,340 We're going to have sex in every position, 426 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:22,180 free of the white, male patriarchy. 427 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:28,700 This is one night for man, but one giant lifetime for mankind. 428 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,820 (Moans) 429 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:33,200 (Moans) 430 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,540 (Moans) 431 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:39,740 May? 432 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:40,980 Yes, Cale. 433 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,780 Oh. I just came. 434 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,880 Oh, shit. 435 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,740 (Both exhale) 436 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,400 (Snores) 437 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,700 Do you feel like... you're doing fuck-all? 438 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:07,400 And you feel like you should be doing fuck heaps? 439 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,300 Well, you probably just need a little bit of motivation. 440 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:20,420 And my series of books and audio books, as read by me, Uncle Doctor, 441 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,220 are bound to get you on the right path. 442 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:30,640 My 'Fuck Up and Do Sumfint' series starts with Vol.1 - Shutchole. 443 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,440 The reason you're not doing fuck-all is because ya probably talkin' shit. 444 00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,540 Shutchole. 445 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:43,480 See, you're not reaching ya full potential coz ya full of shit, 446 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,080 something's not right with you. Shutchole. 447 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:49,640 (Strains) 448 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:57,000 Each book is pleather-bound, so it feels mad. 449 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,860 Order now and get my other bestsellers like... 450 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,540 (Gasps) That's Probably Infected. 451 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,540 Is He Dead? Vol.4. 452 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,160 And Stop Fuckin' Around And Get It Togevva. 453 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,520 Order now, ya dumb dog. 454 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,720 Captions by CSI Australia 32946

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.