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1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:01,960
What do we want?
ALL: Reconciliation!
2
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,520
When do we want it?
ALL: Now!
3
00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,240
What do we want?
ALL: Reconciliation!
4
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,120
When do we want it?
ALL: Now!
5
00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,000
What do we want?
ALL: Reconciliation!
6
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,560
When do we want it?
ALL: Now!
7
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,680
What do we want?
ALL: Reconciliation!
8
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,200
When do we want it?
ALL: Now!
9
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,920
What...
Hey, hey... wait, wait!
10
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:21,880
Wait! Um... what do we want?
ALL: Reconciliation!
11
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:26,280
What happened to land rights?
(Crowd mumbles)
12
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,600
Whose idea was it
for reconciliation anyway?
13
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,880
(Crowd murmurs)
14
00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,960
Eh, who's in charge here?
15
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,520
(Crowd murmurs)
16
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,720
I think we need to go home
and think about it, eh?
17
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,040
When?
Now!
18
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,280
What do we want?
ALL: Go home and think about it!
19
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,880
When do we want it?
ALL: Now!
20
00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,560
Theme music
21
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,480
We've identified the final target -
Daniel Gordon -
22
00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:19,920
colonised, assimilated,
23
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,800
caught in the cycle
of Western oppression.
24
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,080
Jems?
Marcy.
25
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,200
As well as being
a government lackey,
26
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,960
working for the public sector,
27
00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,840
Daniel Gordon has degraded himself
28
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,320
by submitting to recreational
cross-breeding dash relations
29
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,440
with a Caucasian woman.
30
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,000
Gary?
31
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,640
Um, I thought we weren't
supposed to use our real names.
32
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,400
Oh, God, Gary.
Seriously.
33
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,280
I thought we were getting codenames.
Gary!
34
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,160
Alright, let's rock and roll.
35
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,680
ALL: ALF!
36
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,360
He's running late -
he should've been here at 08:00.
37
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,560
What is it now?
08:00 and 50 or is that...?
38
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,000
..is that 10 to 100?
Or is that 08:00 and a half...
39
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,400
Target identified,
target identified!
40
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,040
Gary, why aren't you getting him?
He looks big!
41
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,640
You had one job, Gary, one job!
42
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,960
Get out there!
43
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,760
Come on, Jems! Me?
Yes! Let's go get him.
44
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,640
Freedom awaits you!
45
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,200
Freedom!
Go! Go!
46
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,080
Please don't kill me!
47
00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,160
I've got kids.
Please don't hurt us!
48
00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360
Take my wallet -
it's all the money I've got.
49
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,560
You can have a car. It's a Lexus.
Brand new and...
50
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,680
Hush, sweet natives. Shh, shh...
It's for your own good.
51
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,520
We are the Aboriginal
Liberation Front.
52
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,880
We are your kin in white skin,
53
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,680
born from the same
mother earth land serpent, Gaia.
54
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,280
We were sent here to save you!
55
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,360
Welcome... to your Garden of Eden.
56
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,320
(Bird calls from bushes)
57
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:26,560
Yes, yes, that's it.
Let the tears of Gaia cleanse you.
58
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,880
Let it free you from
the colonial shackles of oppression.
59
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,640
Deassimilate! Decolonise!
60
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,000
(Shouts) You are FREE!
61
00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,120
Rape... rape... help!
They're gonna rape us!
62
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,960
(Screams) Is this a hate crime?
63
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,520
No, this is a love crime.
64
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,280
Oh, God, they are gonna rape us!
65
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,120
These are the essentials
you will need.
66
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,200
Lap-laps...
67
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,480
(Panting fearfully)
Ochre...
68
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,840
..and a spear.
69
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,040
Everything else you need
is all around you.
70
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,080
It's in your blood.
It's in here.
71
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,840
Welcome home.
72
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,240
ALL: ALF!
73
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,800
Wait! I've got a booking
at Rockpool tonight!
74
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,400
Who's going to feed my cats?
75
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,600
How will I charge my phone?
76
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,080
Ehya... Turn on!
77
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,080
(Gasps)
78
00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,400
(Dramatic super hero music)
79
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,840
Deadly, Dave.
80
00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,840
I joined OK Cupid
to meet that special someone.
81
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,080
I chose the screen name
'cute&sassy4u'.
82
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,480
I just thought that summed me up
pretty well.
83
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,440
So, they had this section
called My Details, you know,
84
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,120
like your age, sex, height,
body type, star sign -
85
00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,840
I'm Virgo, just FYI -
86
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,320
that kind of stuff.
87
00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,440
And then they had
an ethnicity box.
88
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:48,040
So, I go to tick Aboriginal
but there is no Aboriginal box.
89
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,440
There's Native American, Asian,
Indian, Pacific Islander and White
90
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,960
and whatevs, but no Aboriginal box.
91
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,840
I had to tick 'Other'.
92
00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,000
Other...
like, what's an 'other'?
93
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,080
Like, I'm meant to be meeting
the love of my life
94
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,040
and I'm on there as 'other'!
95
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,800
Like, what does that even mean?
96
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,920
It was just really, it was really
confronting and racist, you know?
97
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:19,440
So, I decided to start a campaign
on change.org to raise awareness.
98
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,960
It kind of grew
into this big grass roots campaign.
99
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,400
There were protests
all over the world.
100
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,720
Over a million people
signed the petition on change.org.
101
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,720
It grew legs and we were running.
102
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,520
It was time, you know?
Time for change.
103
00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:38,760
It was, like, Kevin 07
and Gough Whitlam on steroids.
104
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,560
It was bigger than KONY.
105
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,880
It was everyday people saying,
'We can make a difference.'
106
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,960
And it really meant something,
you know?
107
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,640
It was something bigger
than all of us.
108
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,680
We are Koori!
(Crowd shouts unclearly)
109
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,080
We are Koori!
(Crowd shouts)
110
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,720
INTERVIEWER: What ended up
happening?
111
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,680
Well, OK Cupid listened.
112
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,560
They added the 'Aboriginal
and/or Torres Strait Islander' box.
113
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,080
They added it.
I can still remember that morning.
114
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,880
I logged onto my profile.
115
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:14,920
I clicked on my details
and I clicked the box I belonged in.
116
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,640
After everything
my people had gone through,
117
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,680
the Stolen Generation, land claims,
native title, equal rights
118
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,600
and here I was, ticking the box
I belonged in -
119
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,360
the 'Aboriginal and/or
Torres Strait Islander' box
120
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,080
on OK Cupid.
121
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,160
It really meant something.
122
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,240
Did I meet someone special?
123
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,880
Yeah. No, I didn't.
Still single.
124
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,440
What happened?
125
00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,280
Well... as soon as I ticked
that Aboriginal box,
126
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,720
people stopped messaging me.
127
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,760
So, I had to untick it.
128
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,560
But that's my right, so...
129
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,280
Innkeeper.
130
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,960
OK, you don't need to...
131
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,480
Innkeeper,
we have need of a room for the night.
132
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,280
We've travelled many miles
and my wife is heavy with child.
133
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,840
Yes, mate, absolutely no worr...
134
00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:35,800
Well, the thing is,
we are actually full - no vacancy.
135
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,520
I didn't see a No Vacancy sign
around the front.
136
00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,000
Funny that, I meant to put one up.
It's been that sort of a day.
137
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,240
Just didn't get around to it
but we are full.
138
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,880
So, you're full?
Yep.
139
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,440
You've got no available rooms?
Nope.
140
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,840
You think I don't know
what's going on here?
141
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,120
You know, I heard things
about Bethlehem, man.
142
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,200
Don't know what you mean.
I'll give you a clue.
143
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,240
It starts with R.
Ritual floggings?
144
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,240
Racism, dickhead!
145
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,840
Oh, come on, mate - you're barking
up the wrong date palm.
146
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,360
We're all Israelites here.
147
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,400
Yeah, but there's Israelites
and Israelites - know what I mean?
148
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,120
Mate, Herod's in town,
Pontius Pilate's just rocked up
149
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,920
with his entourage
and his hangers-on.
150
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,720
It's the Festival
Of The Unleavened Bread.
151
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,560
Very busy time here in Bethlehem.
152
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,880
Come on, Joseph, let's go.
Let's not make a scene.
153
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,680
Not make a scene?
Yes.
154
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,480
It's zero BC, for God's sake.
155
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,040
Our elders didn't fight
the Canaanites, the Philistines
156
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,000
and the Romans
for all this bullshit to continue.
157
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,720
Alright, I've got a stable out back.
That's the best I can do.
158
00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,520
A stable! We're not animals.
159
00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,280
Let's just take it, please.
160
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,280
Alright, we'll take it,
but you know what tomorrow is?
161
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,800
What?
AD. You know what that stands for?
162
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,480
After Discrimination.
After... Discrimination.
163
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:53,040
OK, OK, you've made your point.
OK, thank you.
164
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,000
(Animal noises)
See, what'd I tell you, Mary.
165
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,840
We shoulda went straight
to Jerusalem. Bethlehem is racist.
166
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,440
Everyone, this is Kevin.
167
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,040
Hi, Kevin.
Hi, Kevin.
168
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,560
Hey, how are youse?
169
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,760
Wait. Wait.
Isn't Kevin his slave name?
170
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,800
Yeah, good point.
171
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,880
What is your skin name,
native brother?
172
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,400
Skin name?
173
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,040
Soaring Jabiru -
because he fly high
174
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,480
and we are
the wind beneath his wings.
175
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:44,120
Yeah, look, Kevin's fine.
I thought...
176
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,680
Kevin is a teacher -
he's going to be a great asset
177
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,680
in providing insight
into Aboriginal knowledge
178
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,800
so that we can infiltrate their nests
and deprogram them from the system.
179
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,120
Look, I think there's
a bit of a misunderstanding.
180
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,160
We have a video!
Gary, show him the video.
181
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,080
ALL: ALF.
182
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:12,480
ALF. Three words.
Aboriginal. Liberation. Front.
183
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:17,320
We believe in the freedom
and equality of all people - how?
184
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,040
Five-step process -
185
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,840
Profile.
Target. Capture.
186
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,520
Relocate.
Release.
187
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,720
It's that easy.
ALL: ALF.
188
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,440
So, what do you think?
189
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,120
Yeah, look, I thought we were here
190
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,120
because you had an educational
program for Indigenous children.
191
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,200
This is an educational program,
Soaring Jabiru!
192
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:51,160
Don't call me that.
I mean, it's weird, it's racist.
193
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,680
Call me Kevin or Kevo or Kev.
194
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,240
Don't be ridiculous,
Soaring Jabiru.
195
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:02,840
We are your brothers and sisters!
Children of mother earth, Gaia!
196
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,320
ALL: This is our dreamtime.
This is our dreamtime.
197
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,160
This is our Dreamtime.
This is our Dreamtime.
198
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:15,320
Oh, man, you guys are crazy.
I got no time for this.
199
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,440
Wait! I don't think
think you understand, Soaring Jabiru.
200
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:30,080
You are either with us or against us.
So, what's it going to be, cowboy?
201
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:37,400
WOMAN: Marcy, are your friends
staying for dinner?
202
00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,280
Mum! Knock!
203
00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:40,680
Darling, are they staying
for dinner?
204
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,600
Mum, get out! Close the door!
Get out now! Mum, go!
205
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,360
This is ridiculous.
206
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,920
(Shouts) What's for dinner,
Mrs Miller?
207
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,000
What?
What's for dinner?
208
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,760
Lamb and tzatziki.
What?
209
00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,240
OK, now this is ridiculous.
I said lamb and tzat-
210
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,840
(Mouths words)
211
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,600
What's going on here?
What on earth have you got...?
212
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,240
You'll never get away with this!
213
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,680
Run, run like the wind,
you beautiful son of a bitch.
214
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,560
Was he Aboriginal?
215
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,600
Watch where you're going,
ya dopey bastard!
216
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,200
Sorry, mate.
I didn't see you there.
217
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,520
What, you an idiot or something?
You looking for trouble?
218
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,560
Not at all.
Here, let me buy you another beer.
219
00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,320
I don't want a beer
touched by your filthy black hand.
220
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,320
Now, mate, I'm trying to be patient,
221
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,400
but you're pushing things
a bit too far.
222
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,800
Why? What are you going
to do about it?
223
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,440
Do you want a go, mate?
224
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,320
Oh, you going to come at me
225
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,320
with that Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon shit?
226
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,640
Brother, you don't know
what you're in for.
227
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,840
Welcome to Bouncing Wallaby.
228
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,680
Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
You want some of that? Huh?
229
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,480
You wanna get your arse bounced?
That's what's going to happen.
230
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:17,160
Or maybe you want some
Crawling Goanna?
231
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,440
Yeah? Yeah?
Want some Crawling Goanna?
232
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,040
Want some of that? Huh? Huh?
233
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,040
Or maybe you want
Biting Tasmanian Devil.
234
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,120
Pecking Emu!
235
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,560
Oh, my back.
236
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,240
(Groans)
237
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,240
See how they go?
I just mopped that stinking floor.
238
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,240
What they think this is?
A playground!
239
00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,920
No playground here!
240
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,320
What's she still hanging around
here for, parading?
241
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,440
You know she mad for singing
in the toilet, eh?
242
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,280
She singing up like a cat on heat.
243
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,920
Go out and get a job
or something.
244
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,440
I'm telling you now, she's lucky
that manager's half deaf
245
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,080
or she'd be out, look - shop shut!
246
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,280
Singing up in there
like she can carry a note.
247
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,920
She can't carry a note,
she's off key.
248
00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,680
No-one wants her.
249
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,560
Sure she's stealing that air
freshener too, from in that toilet.
250
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,000
They'll be looking
for matches soon, to burn them fumes.
251
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,400
Oh, they're not going to like that.
Wild gins, they are.
252
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,520
WOMAN: Hi, Mavis.
Hey, how you going?
253
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,640
Hey, was that you singing up there?
Yes.
254
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,320
Gee, you got a deadly voice.
255
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,000
You big gee-whiz!
256
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,520
Pillia Mittigar, children.
257
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:48,680
Today I'm going to tell you
the story of How Fire Was Made.
258
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,360
In the Dreamtime,
a long, long time ago,
259
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,920
there was a family of koalas -
260
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,600
Daddy Koala, Mummy Koala
and Baby Koala.
261
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,960
We'll call him Eli.
262
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,920
They all lived together
in a big gum tree,
263
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,080
high in the sky, so they could speak
to their ancestors.
264
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,160
They spent their days
eating eucalyptus leaves,
265
00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,560
sleeping and giving furry koala hugs.
266
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,880
They were very happy.
267
00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,080
Then one day Daddy Koala left.
268
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,400
Left Mummy Koala and Eli
all on their own.
269
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,240
Shows what kind of a man
Daddy Koala was.
270
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,200
Daddy went
and lived with his secretary,
271
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,200
Kelly the Kookaburra.
272
00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,600
Kelly the Kookaburra, with her
annoying smile and ratchet laugh.
273
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,320
Kelly the Kookaburra,
a real basic bitch.
274
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:48,400
Mummy Koala and Eli
had to go to a gum tree refuge
275
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,480
with other mummy koalas
and their children.
276
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,160
She started thinking
about Daddy Koala,
277
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,760
laughing away with Kelly,
the Kookaburra in the new car,
278
00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,640
doing filthy things, and she got mad.
279
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:05,360
Mummy Koala called on her ancestors
and they told her exactly what to do.
280
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,360
She got a glass bottle,
281
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,280
filled it with petrol
and stuffed a rag in the top
282
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,200
and went to Daddy Koala's gum tree.
283
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,640
When she got there,
her ancestors opened up the sky
284
00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,400
and a ray of sun came down
and touched the rag.
285
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,520
Bright flames appeared.
286
00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,920
Mummy Koala gave the bottle to Eli
287
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,320
and told him to throw it
high into the sky
288
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,120
because the bush police
had her fingerprints on file
289
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,800
due to this thing, that one time.
290
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,040
Eli threw the bottle
with all his might
291
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,040
and it hit the tree
and it went up in flames!
292
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,400
Daddy Koala
and Kelly the Kookaburra
293
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,320
were in the tree making a special
video tape when the bottle hit.
294
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,400
They had to be airlifted
to intensive care
295
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,240
with third degree burns.
296
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,800
Who's laughing now?
297
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,520
Mummy Koala and Eli
lived happily ever after
298
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,840
and they didn't have to play
another game of Throw the Bottle
299
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,120
for a very long time.
300
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:06,280
And that, children, is the dreamtime
story of How Fire was Made.
301
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,240
You and your son talking yet?
302
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,760
What son?
Oooh-ah!
303
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,920
Nah, true.
I've disowned him, I have.
304
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,560
He keeps taking
that Evans girl's side every time.
305
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,080
Why, what happened?
306
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,560
Well, you know me.
I don't hold grudges against anyone.
307
00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,320
So, after that lotto fiasco,
I went around and make amends.
308
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,640
Is that after your car
shat itself?
309
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,200
Yeah, after that.
310
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,720
So, anyway, I get into the cab
and I go around there
311
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,000
and they're real funny with me
from the go get.
312
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,560
They wouldn't pay my cab.
313
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,080
Well, how much was the fare?
314
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,880
Only $307.
From your house to theirs?
315
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,840
Yeah. Well, I got that cabbie
to stop in at bingo there
316
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,400
and wait for me a couple
of hours for me while I played.
317
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,960
Ooh, that was real smart thinking.
True God!
318
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,600
I know! You'd think
they'd appreciate it, no.
319
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,000
Proper sour faces they were.
Make me sick.
320
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,480
Oh, so, that's why youse two
not talking?
321
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,720
Oh, I haven't told you
the best of it yet.
322
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,240
I told them,
'I wanna see my grandson.'
323
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,400
I haven't seen him in months
because of their carrying on.
324
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,480
So, I marched right in there
I looked at him... and I knew.
325
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,120
That kid ain't my son's.
326
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,840
That bitch has been whoring her fork
around town.
327
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,840
How you know?
328
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,120
Because of that face on it.
My son wasn't that ugly as a kid.
329
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,880
He was real handsome.
So, I told 'em straight.
330
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,600
I said, 'Eh, what's this thing
here in this cot?'
331
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,320
That's not my grandson!'
332
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,720
So, it was on
for young and old then.
333
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,920
She's screaming like
the loud banshee that she is
334
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,240
and my son's telling me
to get out of the house.
335
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,560
All the while that creature
from the deep is crying in the cot.
336
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,000
And your own son told you to get out?
337
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,840
No respect, that is.
338
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,880
Never mind,
what goes around comes around.
339
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,800
They'll get theirs.
340
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,440
VOICEOVER: Are you in touch
with Indigenous Australia?
341
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,960
Or do you just want
to touch Indigenous Australia?
342
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:15,200
Then call Girls Gone Native,
1800-Girls-Gone-Native.
343
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,160
I'll always make
your boomerang come back.
344
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:26,320
That's 1800-Girls-Gone-Native.
Call now. First five minutes free.
345
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,520
Come take a sip
out of my water hole.
346
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,920
It's always the wet season here.
347
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,080
The first ten callers
get a copy of the hot new calendar,
348
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,600
'Girls Gone Native 2014'.
349
00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,920
That's 365 days of naked natives.
350
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,160
All for you, and your didgeridoo.
351
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:53,840
1800-Girls-Gone-Native.
They've been waiting 40,000 years.
352
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,440
Call now
for your Dreamtime dream girl.
353
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,800
You humpy in my humpy?
354
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,520
I'll give you
a true 'bush' experience.
355
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:11,600
Call now. 1800-Girls-Gone-Native.
And no reverse charges.
356
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,720
Oh, my God.
Did you just brush up against me?
357
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,040
Yeah, sorry about that.
358
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,400
You did it intentionally,
didn't you?
359
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,560
I was just trying to get the butter.
360
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,400
Admit it, you just
wanted to touch me, didn't you?
361
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,560
What?
You just couldn't resist...
362
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,240
brushing yourself up against this
fine chocolate ass.
363
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,920
Well, now that you mention it.
364
00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,080
You thought you could get away
with rubbing up against me.
365
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,880
Wait... what?
366
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,280
I've been looking at you
all afternoon.
367
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:54,800
Don't tell me you didn't notice?
368
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,680
I think you are
extremely attractive.
369
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,000
In fact, I'd like to take you out
on a date sometime,
370
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,520
if that's fine with you.
371
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,080
You sick bastard.
372
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,760
It's OK, Shh, shh. Here.
373
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,760
Return to your home, my brown sister!
374
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,080
You are free.
375
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,840
ALL: ALF!
376
00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:01,160
Somebody, help me. Someone!
377
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,920
They've brought a new one.
378
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,040
What do you mean? Who?
379
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,360
The Aboriginal Liberation Front.
380
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,680
Was that the...?
The people who just...?
381
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:14,800
Yes.
382
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,080
I need to go home!
383
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,040
I haven't recorded
the last episode of Girls!
384
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,320
I'm sorry.
385
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,240
Here, this is where we sleep.
386
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,360
I modelled the humpies off one
I saw this homeless guy make
387
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,440
at Central Station.
388
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,960
Ours aren't much, but they work.
389
00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,840
Well, what do you eat?
390
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,880
They gave us spears.
You hunt?
391
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,840
Oh, no, we ate them.
We ate the spears.
392
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,880
We're running pretty low
on spears, actually.
393
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,880
I don't know what
we're going to eat after that.
394
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,600
She's back! Hide!
395
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,320
You mob, come out!
Come out!
396
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,000
You mob! Come, come.
397
00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,000
Are you one of them?
No, I'm the AALF.
398
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,760
The Anti Aboriginal
Liberation Front.
399
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,160
That's anti-
Aboriginal Liberation Front.
400
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,520
That's not anti-Aboriginal,
I'm not anti-Aboriginal.
401
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,560
I'm not. I'm a school teacher, man.
402
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,680
Anyway,
I've got everything what you need.
403
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,960
I've got iPhone chargers,
lattes...
404
00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,040
..skim and soy - all organic.
405
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,680
Drink, drink.
406
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,200
Where is she?
407
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,880
I've called the police.
408
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,760
We're never going to hear
from her again.
409
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,120
Everything is going to be OK.
410
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,800
How's the lattes?
411
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,440
Bit cold.
Watery.
412
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,600
All right. Let's go.
413
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,320
I'm going in the front - shotgun.
Blacks at the back.
414
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,160
Eyah, slut.
What slut?
415
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,960
I hear you bin itchy for Peter?
416
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,880
Who Peter?
I get itchy for biggest mob.
417
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,600
No wonder you got that
big rash on your fork.
418
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,160
Peter Blant fuck ya?
419
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,760
Oh, Peter.
Yeah, I was itchy, but not any more.
420
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,520
He bin come over last night
and scratch me like a big pussycat.
421
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:43,000
The only big pussy I see is you.
Anyway, can't even exercise.
422
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,360
Can't even sing.
(Gasps)
423
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:57,560
(Sings) Well, what's this then,
slut?
424
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,000
Well, what's this then
425
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:08,680
Slu-u-u-u-u-ut?
426
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,920
(Raps) Well, what's this then,
slut?
427
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,360
Ha-ha, ha, huh, huh!
428
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,920
Well, what's this then, slut?
429
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,520
Well, what's this then slut?
430
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:29,520
Well, what's this then, slut?
431
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,360
BOTH: Well, what's this then,
slut?
432
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,320
(Both sing line repeatedly)
433
00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,400
We-e-e-e-e-e-l-l
We-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l
434
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,840
What's this then, slut?
435
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,040
What's this then, slut?
Well, well
436
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,520
What's this then, slut?
437
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,720
What's this then, slut?
What's this then, slut?
438
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,960
(Both sing line repeatedly)
439
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:01,800
(Coughs)
440
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,480
(Both sing hoarsely)
441
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,840
(They sing faintly)
442
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,360
(Hoarsely) Slut
443
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,880
Slut
444
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,240
(Very faintly) Slut
Slut.
445
00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,640
Ooh, ya dog!
446
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,440
(Barking)
447
00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,880
Ooh, ya dog!
448
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,640
NEWSREADER: In breaking news,
police have raided a suburban house
449
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,240
in connection to a series
of Indigenous abductions
450
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,800
by the so-called
Aboriginal Liberation Front.
451
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,200
The ringleader, a Marcy Mavis,
is still at large.
452
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,640
Police are advising Aboriginal people
to remain indoors and... Argh!
453
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,400
(Chanting) ALF!
454
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,240
Captions by CSI Australia
455
00:28:19,400 --> 00:30:04,320
.
35034
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