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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:01,960 What do we want? ALL: Reconciliation! 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:03,520 When do we want it? ALL: Now! 3 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:05,240 What do we want? ALL: Reconciliation! 4 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,120 When do we want it? ALL: Now! 5 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:09,000 What do we want? ALL: Reconciliation! 6 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,560 When do we want it? ALL: Now! 7 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:12,680 What do we want? ALL: Reconciliation! 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,200 When do we want it? ALL: Now! 9 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,920 What... Hey, hey... wait, wait! 10 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:21,880 Wait! Um... what do we want? ALL: Reconciliation! 11 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:26,280 What happened to land rights? (Crowd mumbles) 12 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,600 Whose idea was it for reconciliation anyway? 13 00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,880 (Crowd murmurs) 14 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:32,960 Eh, who's in charge here? 15 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:35,520 (Crowd murmurs) 16 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,720 I think we need to go home and think about it, eh? 17 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,040 When? Now! 18 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,280 What do we want? ALL: Go home and think about it! 19 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,880 When do we want it? ALL: Now! 20 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,560 Theme music 21 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,480 We've identified the final target - Daniel Gordon - 22 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:19,920 colonised, assimilated, 23 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,800 caught in the cycle of Western oppression. 24 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,080 Jems? Marcy. 25 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,200 As well as being a government lackey, 26 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,960 working for the public sector, 27 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,840 Daniel Gordon has degraded himself 28 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:36,320 by submitting to recreational cross-breeding dash relations 29 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,440 with a Caucasian woman. 30 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,000 Gary? 31 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,640 Um, I thought we weren't supposed to use our real names. 32 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:48,400 Oh, God, Gary. Seriously. 33 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,280 I thought we were getting codenames. Gary! 34 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,160 Alright, let's rock and roll. 35 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,680 ALL: ALF! 36 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,360 He's running late - he should've been here at 08:00. 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:07,560 What is it now? 08:00 and 50 or is that...? 38 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,000 ..is that 10 to 100? Or is that 08:00 and a half... 39 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,400 Target identified, target identified! 40 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:22,040 Gary, why aren't you getting him? He looks big! 41 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,640 You had one job, Gary, one job! 42 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:25,960 Get out there! 43 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,760 Come on, Jems! Me? Yes! Let's go get him. 44 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,640 Freedom awaits you! 45 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,200 Freedom! Go! Go! 46 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,080 Please don't kill me! 47 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,160 I've got kids. Please don't hurt us! 48 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,360 Take my wallet - it's all the money I've got. 49 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,560 You can have a car. It's a Lexus. Brand new and... 50 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,680 Hush, sweet natives. Shh, shh... It's for your own good. 51 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,520 We are the Aboriginal Liberation Front. 52 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,880 We are your kin in white skin, 53 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,680 born from the same mother earth land serpent, Gaia. 54 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,280 We were sent here to save you! 55 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,360 Welcome... to your Garden of Eden. 56 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,320 (Bird calls from bushes) 57 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:26,560 Yes, yes, that's it. Let the tears of Gaia cleanse you. 58 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,880 Let it free you from the colonial shackles of oppression. 59 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,640 Deassimilate! Decolonise! 60 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,000 (Shouts) You are FREE! 61 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:43,120 Rape... rape... help! They're gonna rape us! 62 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,960 (Screams) Is this a hate crime? 63 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:49,520 No, this is a love crime. 64 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,280 Oh, God, they are gonna rape us! 65 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,120 These are the essentials you will need. 66 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,200 Lap-laps... 67 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,480 (Panting fearfully) Ochre... 68 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,840 ..and a spear. 69 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,040 Everything else you need is all around you. 70 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:13,080 It's in your blood. It's in here. 71 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:15,840 Welcome home. 72 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,240 ALL: ALF! 73 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,800 Wait! I've got a booking at Rockpool tonight! 74 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,400 Who's going to feed my cats? 75 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:42,600 How will I charge my phone? 76 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,080 Ehya... Turn on! 77 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,080 (Gasps) 78 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:00,400 (Dramatic super hero music) 79 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:13,840 Deadly, Dave. 80 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,840 I joined OK Cupid to meet that special someone. 81 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:28,080 I chose the screen name 'cute&sassy4u'. 82 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:30,480 I just thought that summed me up pretty well. 83 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,440 So, they had this section called My Details, you know, 84 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,120 like your age, sex, height, body type, star sign - 85 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,840 I'm Virgo, just FYI - 86 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,320 that kind of stuff. 87 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,440 And then they had an ethnicity box. 88 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:48,040 So, I go to tick Aboriginal but there is no Aboriginal box. 89 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:52,440 There's Native American, Asian, Indian, Pacific Islander and White 90 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,960 and whatevs, but no Aboriginal box. 91 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,840 I had to tick 'Other'. 92 00:05:57,040 --> 00:06:00,000 Other... like, what's an 'other'? 93 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,080 Like, I'm meant to be meeting the love of my life 94 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,040 and I'm on there as 'other'! 95 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,800 Like, what does that even mean? 96 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,920 It was just really, it was really confronting and racist, you know? 97 00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:19,440 So, I decided to start a campaign on change.org to raise awareness. 98 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,960 It kind of grew into this big grass roots campaign. 99 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,400 There were protests all over the world. 100 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,720 Over a million people signed the petition on change.org. 101 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,720 It grew legs and we were running. 102 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,520 It was time, you know? Time for change. 103 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:38,760 It was, like, Kevin 07 and Gough Whitlam on steroids. 104 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,560 It was bigger than KONY. 105 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:44,880 It was everyday people saying, 'We can make a difference.' 106 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,960 And it really meant something, you know? 107 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,640 It was something bigger than all of us. 108 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,680 We are Koori! (Crowd shouts unclearly) 109 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,080 We are Koori! (Crowd shouts) 110 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,720 INTERVIEWER: What ended up happening? 111 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:59,680 Well, OK Cupid listened. 112 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,560 They added the 'Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander' box. 113 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:08,080 They added it. I can still remember that morning. 114 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,880 I logged onto my profile. 115 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:14,920 I clicked on my details and I clicked the box I belonged in. 116 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,640 After everything my people had gone through, 117 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,680 the Stolen Generation, land claims, native title, equal rights 118 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,600 and here I was, ticking the box I belonged in - 119 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,360 the 'Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander' box 120 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,080 on OK Cupid. 121 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,160 It really meant something. 122 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,240 Did I meet someone special? 123 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,880 Yeah. No, I didn't. Still single. 124 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,440 What happened? 125 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,280 Well... as soon as I ticked that Aboriginal box, 126 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,720 people stopped messaging me. 127 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,760 So, I had to untick it. 128 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:02,560 But that's my right, so... 129 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,280 Innkeeper. 130 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,960 OK, you don't need to... 131 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,480 Innkeeper, we have need of a room for the night. 132 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,280 We've travelled many miles and my wife is heavy with child. 133 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,840 Yes, mate, absolutely no worr... 134 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:35,800 Well, the thing is, we are actually full - no vacancy. 135 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,520 I didn't see a No Vacancy sign around the front. 136 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:42,000 Funny that, I meant to put one up. It's been that sort of a day. 137 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,240 Just didn't get around to it but we are full. 138 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,880 So, you're full? Yep. 139 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,440 You've got no available rooms? Nope. 140 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,840 You think I don't know what's going on here? 141 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:54,120 You know, I heard things about Bethlehem, man. 142 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,200 Don't know what you mean. I'll give you a clue. 143 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,240 It starts with R. Ritual floggings? 144 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:00,240 Racism, dickhead! 145 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:02,840 Oh, come on, mate - you're barking up the wrong date palm. 146 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,360 We're all Israelites here. 147 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,400 Yeah, but there's Israelites and Israelites - know what I mean? 148 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,120 Mate, Herod's in town, Pontius Pilate's just rocked up 149 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,920 with his entourage and his hangers-on. 150 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,720 It's the Festival Of The Unleavened Bread. 151 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,560 Very busy time here in Bethlehem. 152 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,880 Come on, Joseph, let's go. Let's not make a scene. 153 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,680 Not make a scene? Yes. 154 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,480 It's zero BC, for God's sake. 155 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:27,040 Our elders didn't fight the Canaanites, the Philistines 156 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,000 and the Romans for all this bullshit to continue. 157 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,720 Alright, I've got a stable out back. That's the best I can do. 158 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,520 A stable! We're not animals. 159 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:38,280 Let's just take it, please. 160 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,280 Alright, we'll take it, but you know what tomorrow is? 161 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:43,800 What? AD. You know what that stands for? 162 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,480 After Discrimination. After... Discrimination. 163 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:53,040 OK, OK, you've made your point. OK, thank you. 164 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,000 (Animal noises) See, what'd I tell you, Mary. 165 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,840 We shoulda went straight to Jerusalem. Bethlehem is racist. 166 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,440 Everyone, this is Kevin. 167 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,040 Hi, Kevin. Hi, Kevin. 168 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,560 Hey, how are youse? 169 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,760 Wait. Wait. Isn't Kevin his slave name? 170 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:27,800 Yeah, good point. 171 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,880 What is your skin name, native brother? 172 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,400 Skin name? 173 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,040 Soaring Jabiru - because he fly high 174 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,480 and we are the wind beneath his wings. 175 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:44,120 Yeah, look, Kevin's fine. I thought... 176 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:47,680 Kevin is a teacher - he's going to be a great asset 177 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,680 in providing insight into Aboriginal knowledge 178 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:53,800 so that we can infiltrate their nests and deprogram them from the system. 179 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,120 Look, I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding. 180 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,160 We have a video! Gary, show him the video. 181 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,080 ALL: ALF. 182 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:12,480 ALF. Three words. Aboriginal. Liberation. Front. 183 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:17,320 We believe in the freedom and equality of all people - how? 184 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,040 Five-step process - 185 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,840 Profile. Target. Capture. 186 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:22,520 Relocate. Release. 187 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,720 It's that easy. ALL: ALF. 188 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,440 So, what do you think? 189 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,120 Yeah, look, I thought we were here 190 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,120 because you had an educational program for Indigenous children. 191 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:46,200 This is an educational program, Soaring Jabiru! 192 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:51,160 Don't call me that. I mean, it's weird, it's racist. 193 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,680 Call me Kevin or Kevo or Kev. 194 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,240 Don't be ridiculous, Soaring Jabiru. 195 00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:02,840 We are your brothers and sisters! Children of mother earth, Gaia! 196 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,320 ALL: This is our dreamtime. This is our dreamtime. 197 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,160 This is our Dreamtime. This is our Dreamtime. 198 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:15,320 Oh, man, you guys are crazy. I got no time for this. 199 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:19,440 Wait! I don't think think you understand, Soaring Jabiru. 200 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:30,080 You are either with us or against us. So, what's it going to be, cowboy? 201 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:37,400 WOMAN: Marcy, are your friends staying for dinner? 202 00:12:37,560 --> 00:12:39,280 Mum! Knock! 203 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:40,680 Darling, are they staying for dinner? 204 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:44,600 Mum, get out! Close the door! Get out now! Mum, go! 205 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,360 This is ridiculous. 206 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,920 (Shouts) What's for dinner, Mrs Miller? 207 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,000 What? What's for dinner? 208 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,760 Lamb and tzatziki. What? 209 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,240 OK, now this is ridiculous. I said lamb and tzat- 210 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,840 (Mouths words) 211 00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:11,600 What's going on here? What on earth have you got...? 212 00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:15,240 You'll never get away with this! 213 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,680 Run, run like the wind, you beautiful son of a bitch. 214 00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,560 Was he Aboriginal? 215 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,600 Watch where you're going, ya dopey bastard! 216 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,200 Sorry, mate. I didn't see you there. 217 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,520 What, you an idiot or something? You looking for trouble? 218 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,560 Not at all. Here, let me buy you another beer. 219 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:45,320 I don't want a beer touched by your filthy black hand. 220 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,320 Now, mate, I'm trying to be patient, 221 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,400 but you're pushing things a bit too far. 222 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,800 Why? What are you going to do about it? 223 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,440 Do you want a go, mate? 224 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,320 Oh, you going to come at me 225 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,320 with that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon shit? 226 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,640 Brother, you don't know what you're in for. 227 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,840 Welcome to Bouncing Wallaby. 228 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,680 Huh? Yeah? Yeah? You want some of that? Huh? 229 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:13,480 You wanna get your arse bounced? That's what's going to happen. 230 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:17,160 Or maybe you want some Crawling Goanna? 231 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:21,440 Yeah? Yeah? Want some Crawling Goanna? 232 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,040 Want some of that? Huh? Huh? 233 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,040 Or maybe you want Biting Tasmanian Devil. 234 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,120 Pecking Emu! 235 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,560 Oh, my back. 236 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,240 (Groans) 237 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:55,240 See how they go? I just mopped that stinking floor. 238 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,240 What they think this is? A playground! 239 00:14:58,400 --> 00:14:59,920 No playground here! 240 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,320 What's she still hanging around here for, parading? 241 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,440 You know she mad for singing in the toilet, eh? 242 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,280 She singing up like a cat on heat. 243 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,920 Go out and get a job or something. 244 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,440 I'm telling you now, she's lucky that manager's half deaf 245 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,080 or she'd be out, look - shop shut! 246 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:14,280 Singing up in there like she can carry a note. 247 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,920 She can't carry a note, she's off key. 248 00:15:16,080 --> 00:15:17,680 No-one wants her. 249 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,560 Sure she's stealing that air freshener too, from in that toilet. 250 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:24,000 They'll be looking for matches soon, to burn them fumes. 251 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:28,400 Oh, they're not going to like that. Wild gins, they are. 252 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,520 WOMAN: Hi, Mavis. Hey, how you going? 253 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,640 Hey, was that you singing up there? Yes. 254 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,320 Gee, you got a deadly voice. 255 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,000 You big gee-whiz! 256 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,520 Pillia Mittigar, children. 257 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:48,680 Today I'm going to tell you the story of How Fire Was Made. 258 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,360 In the Dreamtime, a long, long time ago, 259 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,920 there was a family of koalas - 260 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,600 Daddy Koala, Mummy Koala and Baby Koala. 261 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:06,960 We'll call him Eli. 262 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,920 They all lived together in a big gum tree, 263 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,080 high in the sky, so they could speak to their ancestors. 264 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,160 They spent their days eating eucalyptus leaves, 265 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,560 sleeping and giving furry koala hugs. 266 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,880 They were very happy. 267 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:25,080 Then one day Daddy Koala left. 268 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:28,400 Left Mummy Koala and Eli all on their own. 269 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:31,240 Shows what kind of a man Daddy Koala was. 270 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,200 Daddy went and lived with his secretary, 271 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,200 Kelly the Kookaburra. 272 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:39,600 Kelly the Kookaburra, with her annoying smile and ratchet laugh. 273 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,320 Kelly the Kookaburra, a real basic bitch. 274 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:48,400 Mummy Koala and Eli had to go to a gum tree refuge 275 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:51,480 with other mummy koalas and their children. 276 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:54,160 She started thinking about Daddy Koala, 277 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:57,760 laughing away with Kelly, the Kookaburra in the new car, 278 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,640 doing filthy things, and she got mad. 279 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:05,360 Mummy Koala called on her ancestors and they told her exactly what to do. 280 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,360 She got a glass bottle, 281 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,280 filled it with petrol and stuffed a rag in the top 282 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,200 and went to Daddy Koala's gum tree. 283 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,640 When she got there, her ancestors opened up the sky 284 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,400 and a ray of sun came down and touched the rag. 285 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,520 Bright flames appeared. 286 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:22,920 Mummy Koala gave the bottle to Eli 287 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,320 and told him to throw it high into the sky 288 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:28,120 because the bush police had her fingerprints on file 289 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,800 due to this thing, that one time. 290 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:33,040 Eli threw the bottle with all his might 291 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,040 and it hit the tree and it went up in flames! 292 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,400 Daddy Koala and Kelly the Kookaburra 293 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,320 were in the tree making a special video tape when the bottle hit. 294 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,400 They had to be airlifted to intensive care 295 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,240 with third degree burns. 296 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,800 Who's laughing now? 297 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:54,520 Mummy Koala and Eli lived happily ever after 298 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,840 and they didn't have to play another game of Throw the Bottle 299 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,120 for a very long time. 300 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:06,280 And that, children, is the dreamtime story of How Fire was Made. 301 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,240 You and your son talking yet? 302 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,760 What son? Oooh-ah! 303 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,920 Nah, true. I've disowned him, I have. 304 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,560 He keeps taking that Evans girl's side every time. 305 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,080 Why, what happened? 306 00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,560 Well, you know me. I don't hold grudges against anyone. 307 00:18:24,760 --> 00:18:28,320 So, after that lotto fiasco, I went around and make amends. 308 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,640 Is that after your car shat itself? 309 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,200 Yeah, after that. 310 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,720 So, anyway, I get into the cab and I go around there 311 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,000 and they're real funny with me from the go get. 312 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,560 They wouldn't pay my cab. 313 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,080 Well, how much was the fare? 314 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,880 Only $307. From your house to theirs? 315 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,840 Yeah. Well, I got that cabbie to stop in at bingo there 316 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,400 and wait for me a couple of hours for me while I played. 317 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,960 Ooh, that was real smart thinking. True God! 318 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,600 I know! You'd think they'd appreciate it, no. 319 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,000 Proper sour faces they were. Make me sick. 320 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,480 Oh, so, that's why youse two not talking? 321 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,720 Oh, I haven't told you the best of it yet. 322 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,240 I told them, 'I wanna see my grandson.' 323 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,400 I haven't seen him in months because of their carrying on. 324 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:09,480 So, I marched right in there I looked at him... and I knew. 325 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,120 That kid ain't my son's. 326 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,840 That bitch has been whoring her fork around town. 327 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:19,840 How you know? 328 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,120 Because of that face on it. My son wasn't that ugly as a kid. 329 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,880 He was real handsome. So, I told 'em straight. 330 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:31,600 I said, 'Eh, what's this thing here in this cot?' 331 00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,320 That's not my grandson!' 332 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,720 So, it was on for young and old then. 333 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:38,920 She's screaming like the loud banshee that she is 334 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,240 and my son's telling me to get out of the house. 335 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:44,560 All the while that creature from the deep is crying in the cot. 336 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,000 And your own son told you to get out? 337 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,840 No respect, that is. 338 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:51,880 Never mind, what goes around comes around. 339 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,800 They'll get theirs. 340 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,440 VOICEOVER: Are you in touch with Indigenous Australia? 341 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,960 Or do you just want to touch Indigenous Australia? 342 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:15,200 Then call Girls Gone Native, 1800-Girls-Gone-Native. 343 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,160 I'll always make your boomerang come back. 344 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:26,320 That's 1800-Girls-Gone-Native. Call now. First five minutes free. 345 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,520 Come take a sip out of my water hole. 346 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,920 It's always the wet season here. 347 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:37,080 The first ten callers get a copy of the hot new calendar, 348 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,600 'Girls Gone Native 2014'. 349 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,920 That's 365 days of naked natives. 350 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:48,160 All for you, and your didgeridoo. 351 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:53,840 1800-Girls-Gone-Native. They've been waiting 40,000 years. 352 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,440 Call now for your Dreamtime dream girl. 353 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,800 You humpy in my humpy? 354 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,520 I'll give you a true 'bush' experience. 355 00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:11,600 Call now. 1800-Girls-Gone-Native. And no reverse charges. 356 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:24,720 Oh, my God. Did you just brush up against me? 357 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,040 Yeah, sorry about that. 358 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,400 You did it intentionally, didn't you? 359 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,560 I was just trying to get the butter. 360 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,400 Admit it, you just wanted to touch me, didn't you? 361 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,560 What? You just couldn't resist... 362 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,240 brushing yourself up against this fine chocolate ass. 363 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,920 Well, now that you mention it. 364 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,080 You thought you could get away with rubbing up against me. 365 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:50,880 Wait... what? 366 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,280 I've been looking at you all afternoon. 367 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:54,800 Don't tell me you didn't notice? 368 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,680 I think you are extremely attractive. 369 00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,000 In fact, I'd like to take you out on a date sometime, 370 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,520 if that's fine with you. 371 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,080 You sick bastard. 372 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:39,760 It's OK, Shh, shh. Here. 373 00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,760 Return to your home, my brown sister! 374 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,080 You are free. 375 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,840 ALL: ALF! 376 00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:01,160 Somebody, help me. Someone! 377 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,920 They've brought a new one. 378 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,040 What do you mean? Who? 379 00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,360 The Aboriginal Liberation Front. 380 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,680 Was that the...? The people who just...? 381 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:14,800 Yes. 382 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,080 I need to go home! 383 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,040 I haven't recorded the last episode of Girls! 384 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,320 I'm sorry. 385 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,240 Here, this is where we sleep. 386 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,360 I modelled the humpies off one I saw this homeless guy make 387 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,440 at Central Station. 388 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,960 Ours aren't much, but they work. 389 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,840 Well, what do you eat? 390 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:42,880 They gave us spears. You hunt? 391 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,840 Oh, no, we ate them. We ate the spears. 392 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:47,880 We're running pretty low on spears, actually. 393 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,880 I don't know what we're going to eat after that. 394 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,600 She's back! Hide! 395 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,320 You mob, come out! Come out! 396 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:13,000 You mob! Come, come. 397 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,000 Are you one of them? No, I'm the AALF. 398 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,760 The Anti Aboriginal Liberation Front. 399 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,160 That's anti- Aboriginal Liberation Front. 400 00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:24,520 That's not anti-Aboriginal, I'm not anti-Aboriginal. 401 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,560 I'm not. I'm a school teacher, man. 402 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,680 Anyway, I've got everything what you need. 403 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,960 I've got iPhone chargers, lattes... 404 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:38,040 ..skim and soy - all organic. 405 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,680 Drink, drink. 406 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,200 Where is she? 407 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:47,880 I've called the police. 408 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,760 We're never going to hear from her again. 409 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,120 Everything is going to be OK. 410 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,800 How's the lattes? 411 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,440 Bit cold. Watery. 412 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,600 All right. Let's go. 413 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,320 I'm going in the front - shotgun. Blacks at the back. 414 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,160 Eyah, slut. What slut? 415 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,960 I hear you bin itchy for Peter? 416 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,880 Who Peter? I get itchy for biggest mob. 417 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,600 No wonder you got that big rash on your fork. 418 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,160 Peter Blant fuck ya? 419 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:34,760 Oh, Peter. Yeah, I was itchy, but not any more. 420 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,520 He bin come over last night and scratch me like a big pussycat. 421 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:43,000 The only big pussy I see is you. Anyway, can't even exercise. 422 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:47,360 Can't even sing. (Gasps) 423 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:57,560 (Sings) Well, what's this then, slut? 424 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:02,000 Well, what's this then 425 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:08,680 Slu-u-u-u-u-ut? 426 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:10,920 (Raps) Well, what's this then, slut? 427 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,360 Ha-ha, ha, huh, huh! 428 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,920 Well, what's this then, slut? 429 00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:20,520 Well, what's this then slut? 430 00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:29,520 Well, what's this then, slut? 431 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:35,360 BOTH: Well, what's this then, slut? 432 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:39,320 (Both sing line repeatedly) 433 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,400 We-e-e-e-e-e-l-l We-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-l-l 434 00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:43,840 What's this then, slut? 435 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:46,040 What's this then, slut? Well, well 436 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,520 What's this then, slut? 437 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,720 What's this then, slut? What's this then, slut? 438 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:53,960 (Both sing line repeatedly) 439 00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:01,800 (Coughs) 440 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:05,480 (Both sing hoarsely) 441 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,840 (They sing faintly) 442 00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,360 (Hoarsely) Slut 443 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,880 Slut 444 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,240 (Very faintly) Slut Slut. 445 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:43,640 Ooh, ya dog! 446 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,440 (Barking) 447 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:51,880 Ooh, ya dog! 448 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,640 NEWSREADER: In breaking news, police have raided a suburban house 449 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,240 in connection to a series of Indigenous abductions 450 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,800 by the so-called Aboriginal Liberation Front. 451 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,200 The ringleader, a Marcy Mavis, is still at large. 452 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,640 Police are advising Aboriginal people to remain indoors and... Argh! 453 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,400 (Chanting) ALF! 454 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:19,240 Captions by CSI Australia 455 00:28:19,400 --> 00:30:04,320 . 35034

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