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1
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:04,603
Roger, how are
the ice-skating lesson going?
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,838
Harder than I thought.
3
00:00:05,906 --> 00:00:08,007
I didn't realize I'd be teaching them.
4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:14,246
You douche-B's ready for my
big bachelor party weekend?
5
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:17,115
Klaus, bachelor parties are for
men who are getting married.
6
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:19,251
You're not a man,
and you're not getting married.
7
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,253
Case closed. Guilty of being wrong.
8
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,422
Your sentencing will
be Monday at 9:00 a.m.
9
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,223
But that's when I'm getting married!
10
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,125
Married to your work?
11
00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,593
No, no, that can't be it.
12
00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,562
To my girlfriend, Shoshanna.
13
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,897
Shoe Hannah? The old woman in the park
14
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,100
who sells shoes out of a baby stroller?
15
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,301
Shoshanna!
16
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,802
She used to live in Steve's room.
17
00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:40,004
She smoked cigarettes on his bed.
18
00:00:40,006 --> 00:00:41,106
Ohh!
19
00:00:41,108 --> 00:00:43,007
You mean Francine!
20
00:00:43,009 --> 00:00:44,376
Seriously, guys?
21
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,745
I've been talking about it all year!
22
00:00:46,746 --> 00:00:47,746
_
23
00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:49,347
I asked Shoshanna to marry me.
24
00:00:49,416 --> 00:00:51,283
She choked a little bit on her Kahlúa,
25
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:53,352
and she said she'll think about it!
26
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,353
_
27
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,720
Shoshanna said yes!
28
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,090
Well, she said, "Yeah,
I guess," but it still counts.
29
00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,091
_
30
00:00:59,093 --> 00:01:00,626
She backed out!
31
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:01,627
_
32
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:02,828
She's back in!
33
00:01:02,829 --> 00:01:03,829
_
34
00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:05,830
She backed out!
35
00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:06,831
_
36
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,601
She's back in!
I'm getting married next week!
37
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,770
I think I'm gonna take
ice-skating lessons.
38
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:12,871
- Good for you!
- Way to go!
39
00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,807
- That's amazing!
- Good luck!
40
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,209
Married? I'm getting married!
41
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,543
To your work?
42
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:20,212
No, no, that can't be it.
43
00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,213
_
44
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,615
The wedding is Monday at 9:00 a.m.,
45
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:26,451
and the bachelor party is this weekend.
46
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:27,886
You guys have to come.
47
00:01:27,954 --> 00:01:29,754
According to an article I read,
48
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:32,091
if you don't have anyone else
with you on your bachelor party,
49
00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,135
it's sad.
50
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,526
Hmm.
51
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,228
I really don't want to
hang out with Klaus.
52
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:38,831
- Me, neither.
- I suppose the bachelor party
53
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,166
is the most sacred of men's parties.
54
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:45,370
To deny it would be to deny God,
the most sacred bachelor of all.
55
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:46,378
Sounds like fun!
56
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,572
No kids allowed.
57
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,974
Just Stan, Roger, and Jeff.
58
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:51,343
Wow! I'm Jeff!
59
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:53,878
Hayley, since the men are going away,
60
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,615
you and I should have
a fun girls' weekend!
61
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,117
Let's get a stripper.
62
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,418
Mom!
63
00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,652
Yes!
64
00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,921
Hmm. I guess this
could be an opportunity
65
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,657
to learn about the complicated
world of sex workers.
66
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,592
No kids allowed, Steve.
67
00:02:07,594 --> 00:02:09,194
So, I have to spend the whole weekend
68
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:12,030
not hanging out with
either of my parents?
69
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:15,134
I hate my liiiife!
70
00:02:18,052 --> 00:02:20,922
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
71
00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:24,008
♪ I got a feelin'
that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
72
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:27,112
♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
73
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:31,750
♪ And he's shinin'
a salute to the American race ♪
74
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,789
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
75
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,357
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
76
00:02:39,426 --> 00:02:40,592
Aah!
77
00:02:41,696 --> 00:02:45,163
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
78
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:47,566
_
79
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,402
2010 Sebring convertible.
80
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,104
It's on the secret menu at Hertz.
81
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,072
Remind me why we're
going to West Virginia
82
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,374
for your party, Klaus.
83
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,510
Because it's home to the
world's largest sycamore tree.
84
00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,112
My boy Scooter got a blow job there,
85
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,581
and I'm gonna put his ashes under it.
86
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:05,049
Now, guys, I downloaded
87
00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:07,786
"Joe Rogan's Ultimate
Bachelor Party Checklist."
88
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,321
Let's check every box.
89
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:13,025
First item...
"Make a joke about the bride."
90
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,293
Stan, make a joke about Shoshanna.
91
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:18,430
- Who's Shoshanna?
- Ohh! Good one, Stan!
92
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:19,832
Okay, what's next?
93
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,067
"Talk about your favorite thing."
94
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:25,470
I like long eyelashes on babies.
95
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,971
Mine's the Instant Pot.
96
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,142
Shosh and I are doing
so many easy, healthy meals
97
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,219
in our Instant Pot.
98
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:35,280
Wait a second.
Klaus, have you met someone?
99
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:41,453
Any second now,
Rick Rod from Rod Hard Entertainment
100
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,756
is gonna walk through that front door!
101
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:47,860
Every time I look at his picture,
I get so hot, hot, hot!
102
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:50,663
- Mm-mmm!
- Now, this is a man.
103
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:51,764
Can I see a man?
104
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,331
Get outta here!
105
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,401
I'm trying to get hot
with my daughter, not my son!
106
00:03:57,099 --> 00:03:58,136
He's here!
107
00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:05,610
Hello, ladies.
108
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,079
You're disappointed. I can tell.
109
00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,848
I can read people like other
people can read a book.
110
00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,616
You don't look like your picture.
111
00:04:11,618 --> 00:04:14,186
I know! That guy is so hot!
112
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,791
No, no, no, no!
113
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:22,060
The batteries... Mm!
The batteries are dead.
114
00:04:22,129 --> 00:04:25,698
It's okay.
Ahh, calm otter floating in a river.
115
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,132
Where do you keep your "D" batteries?
116
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,801
We don't have any "D" batteries.
117
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,603
You don't have a single "D" battery
118
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:34,873
in this castle, Your Majesty?
119
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:35,974
Sorry, we don't have...
120
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,010
Enough! If I can't dance
121
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,511
to Bobby Brown's "My Prerogative,"
122
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:42,781
then I can't get you ladies
slippin' and slidin'.
123
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,616
Stay put. I'm going for batteries.
124
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:47,152
That's okay.
You don't have to come back.
125
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,487
We can still pay you.
126
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,289
Yeah, no offense, but your energy
127
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:51,856
makes me feel very unsafe.
128
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,792
Rick Rod don't leave women high,
129
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,428
and he especially don't leave 'em dry!
130
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,630
- Gross.
- Again, unsafe.
131
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:04,770
I can't believe we've been "bro-coded"
132
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,238
into a weekend with Klaus.
133
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,040
I told you we shouldn't have come.
134
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,114
Yeah!
135
00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,542
Klaus is...
136
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:11,977
frustrating!
137
00:05:12,046 --> 00:05:13,979
Jeff, you're a secondary
member of the group.
138
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:16,148
You don't have to have a
strong opinion about this.
139
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,516
- Oh, good.
- Check it out!
140
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:19,885
I got us matching T-shirts
141
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,054
that say "Klaus's Boyz"!
142
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,257
I thought this would never happen,
143
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,992
but the era of replacing an "S"
144
00:05:27,061 --> 00:05:30,228
with a "Z" to make a word cool is over.
145
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,966
Sorry, sleeping people,
you sound like snakes now.
146
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:37,635
I've always found
whiskey-tasting pretentious.
147
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,406
What, am I supposed to just
drink this with no Diet Coke?
148
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,640
Why does this bottle
have a warning label?
149
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:43,975
This whiskey's 400 proof.
150
00:05:43,978 --> 00:05:46,344
If it comes anywhere near a flame,
151
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,113
it'll explode everything.
152
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,982
- Whooooa! Whooooa!
- Whooooa! Whooooa!
153
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,950
Ok ay, now, go ahead,
take a sip of your whiskeys
154
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,619
and shout out any notes you taste.
155
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:57,389
- I taste grapes!
- After you tried it.
156
00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:58,690
- Edamame!
- No.
157
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,758
- And cocoa.
- No.
158
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,766
- Egg.
- No.
159
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,294
- Lime. Rice?
- No. No.
160
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,361
- Mustard.
- No.
161
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,396
My tongue must be broken
162
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,532
from all the making out I've been doing.
163
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,500
No. You haven't tried yours.
164
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,237
That's good.
165
00:06:12,306 --> 00:06:13,571
And familiar.
166
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,307
When I was a boy, my father said
167
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,210
the juiciest part of the
fig tree was the trunk.
168
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:21,146
So I bit into it and broke
all eight of my teeth.
169
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,814
This tastes like baby teeth!
170
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,416
Good palate!
171
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:26,018
I'm very proud of you!
172
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,954
This gal's really invested in Stan.
173
00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:30,922
And now that you're dangerously drunk,
174
00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,091
it's time for axe throwing.
175
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,361
Axe throwing is the new Big Jenga.
176
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:39,297
The rules are simple...
pick one up and throw it.
177
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:40,999
Axe throwing is on the checklist!
178
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,035
Do we need an axe-throwing lesson?
179
00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:46,071
Only if you're a [BLEEP] nerd.
180
00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:55,213
Klaus picked this place?
181
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,915
This is actually delicious!
182
00:06:56,917 --> 00:07:00,052
Guys! Guys! Guys! Check out my trick!
183
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:01,787
- Oww!
- Damn it!
184
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,221
Still a pretty good throw.
185
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,357
But I was trying to do a cartwheel.
186
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,758
These are ribs!
187
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:10,528
We're having a great time,
and it's all because of Klaus!
188
00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,831
I smoke my meat for 48 hours
189
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,933
to achieve this texture and flavor.
190
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,434
48 hours?!
191
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,238
Me and Shoshanna's Instant Pot
could do this in 10 minutes.
192
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,574
Could it do it in nine minutes?
193
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:23,775
I don't think so.
194
00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:26,011
Could it do it in eight minutes?
195
00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,346
I see where this is going,
so I'm going to say yes.
196
00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:31,383
Could it do it in seven minutes?
197
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,285
_
198
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,421
Come on, six! Six, six, six.
199
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:36,855
Sign of the devil!
200
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,124
Hear my prayer, Satan,
and bring me a six!
201
00:07:40,094 --> 00:07:41,126
- Six!
- Yeah!
202
00:07:41,195 --> 00:07:44,296
Satan! Satan! Satan!
203
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:45,997
Well, this has been a great weekend,
204
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,899
but I'm afraid it's time to wrap it up.
205
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,667
Klaus has to be at the
church at 9:00 tomorrow,
206
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,904
and it's our duty as his boyz
to get him there on time.
207
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,273
I wish this night didn't have to end.
208
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,875
One more round, then we go?
209
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:59,011
Let's do it.
210
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,050
Look, Stan, I have weighted dice.
211
00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,985
What? Why? We're already winning!
212
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,054
Come on, seven!
213
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:11,790
White dice?!
214
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,559
You boys are cheatin'!
215
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,808
Get 'em!
216
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,297
Why did you do that?
217
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,833
Fighting is on the checklist, bro.
218
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,035
Cool! Mark it off!
219
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,205
If the waitress comes
back with my Bud Ice,
220
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,642
please have her tuck
it into my underpants.
221
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:44,189
Looks like little fish stick
and his peas are waking up.
222
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,425
We're not peas. We're boyz.
223
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,692
Klaus's Boyz!
224
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:48,794
We are a tribe!
225
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:49,995
We are a tribe!
226
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,330
- Jeff!
- Let us out.
227
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,098
We have a wedding to
get to in the morning.
228
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,434
And I have a wedding to go to right now.
229
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,803
Tough Teddy, will you marry me?
230
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:58,970
Immediately?
231
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:02,041
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!
232
00:09:03,044 --> 00:09:05,977
It's 3:00 a.m. now and a
five-hour drive to Langley,
233
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,112
so we gotta move.
234
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,513
Jeff, what are you doing?
235
00:09:09,226 --> 00:09:11,650
I'm in a cage, and that makes me sad,
236
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:16,455
so I'm drowning my sorrows
in 400-proof whiskey.
237
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,589
That's it!
238
00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:18,957
Roger, I assume you have a lighter.
239
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,325
I do! Somewhere on me.
240
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,627
That very hip lady at
the whiskey tasting
241
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,664
said if this alcohol comes
near a flame, it...
242
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:35,240
Stan, the casino exploded before
I could lend you my lighter.
243
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,908
I can't believe we're all alive!
244
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,010
What? What is it?
245
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:40,212
Am I hurt?
246
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:42,757
Yes.
247
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,653
Look out!
He's calling the Von Trapp children!
248
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:52,924
Oh, that makes more sense.
249
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,059
Run!
250
00:10:00,328 --> 00:10:03,168
Ready to get hor-nay?
251
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,204
It's the middle of the night.
252
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:06,905
It took me a while to find a Walgreens
253
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,273
that would let me in without a shirt.
254
00:10:08,341 --> 00:10:09,908
- Can I come in?
- No.
255
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,077
You're just like Walgreens!
256
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,212
Hey, everybody!
257
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,714
This house ordered a stripper!
258
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,882
- What?
- Oh, my!
259
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,149
At the Smiths?
260
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,085
Fine! Come in. Come in.
261
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,720
I was just kidding!
262
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:22,921
Oh, it's a joke.
263
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,891
- Oh, okay.
- That's pretty funny.
264
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,358
Who are you?
265
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,328
It's my weekend
with my 300-pound son, Mason.
266
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,130
He was getting restless in the car,
267
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,064
so I told him to go in through the back.
268
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:36,167
Now, to turn you on!
269
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,639
Oh, no! No, no, no, no!
270
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,209
It wasn't the batteries.
It was the box itself.
271
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,844
I'm spiraling!
272
00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,046
Don't spiral!
273
00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,547
I think it's super hot
274
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,849
that you dragged your boombox
all the way to Walgreens
275
00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,152
and didn't test the
batteries before you left.
276
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,086
No, you don't think it's hot!
277
00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,122
I'm a failure!
278
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,957
Can I have two red wines?
279
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,760
No! You and Mason need to leave!
280
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,695
Okay, I'm leaving.
281
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,664
Come on, Mason.
282
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:06,765
Stair fake-out!
283
00:11:09,437 --> 00:11:13,072
Mom! That stripper's in my room!
284
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,540
Now he's opening a vent!
285
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:16,742
He's in the walls!
286
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:19,144
He does that sometimes
when he's insecure.
287
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:20,679
Which is basically all the time.
288
00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:23,182
I can't understand why he
went into this industry.
289
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,451
He passed the bar on the first try.
290
00:11:25,486 --> 00:11:28,987
I'm not hiding this
body under some judge's robe!
291
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:37,096
Oh, no! Why did we do this to the car?
292
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,431
The barbecue place!
293
00:11:39,433 --> 00:11:41,800
The meat will throw
the dogs off our scent.
294
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:47,473
Throw all the food at the dogs!
295
00:11:47,508 --> 00:11:49,908
I'm gonna knock over
this whole meat smoker!
296
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,213
God, Stan, I could have done it alone!
297
00:11:54,281 --> 00:11:56,081
It's working! Thank you, Stan.
298
00:11:56,149 --> 00:11:57,783
I couldn't have done it alone.
299
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,421
Klaus's Boyz!
300
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,123
Look what I got while I was in there.
301
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:06,558
Super-long sausage rope.
302
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,028
Klaus, you idiot!
303
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,430
That sausage leads all
the way to the dogs!
304
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,599
Classic Klaus.
305
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:25,076
Try the cars. It's our only hope.
306
00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,217
You trying to steal my truck?
307
00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,819
You seem like a reasonable man.
308
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,323
That I am.
309
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,425
The casino sicked their dogs on us.
310
00:12:40,494 --> 00:12:43,862
We need a car to get our
friend to his wedding on time.
311
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,430
You're a bachelor party?
312
00:12:45,499 --> 00:12:47,166
Well, why didn't you say so?
313
00:12:47,234 --> 00:12:49,701
Take my truck!
314
00:12:51,174 --> 00:12:54,005
And hurry. Here come the dogs!
315
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,106
Good luck!
316
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,028
Love conquers all! Aaah!
317
00:12:58,063 --> 00:13:00,045
Just enough time to get
you to your wedding.
318
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,547
Perfect! We'll make it!
319
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:03,415
Shoot, let me see those keys.
320
00:13:05,152 --> 00:13:06,385
Whoops.
321
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:09,288
Mr. Klaus, are you livin' la vida loco?
322
00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:12,023
Hold on. I need to do
a little flashback math.
323
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:17,228
The white dice plus the sausage
rope minus the keys equals...
324
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,697
You're sabotaging us!
325
00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:20,265
Ooh! Aaah!
326
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:22,233
I have cold feet.
327
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,935
I'm scared to get married.
328
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:25,104
Oh, no!
329
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,906
They're chewing up my Air Jordans!
330
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,274
No, don't be scared!
331
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,010
Zendaya is perfect for you!
332
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,344
I worry I'm not good enough.
333
00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,981
You guys didn't even want to
spend the weekend with me.
334
00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,248
Is she really gonna want
335
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,318
to spend the rest of her life with me?
336
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,854
They're working their
way up my Ed Hardy jeans!
337
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,191
Klaus, we shouldn't have said that.
338
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:49,028
If you're as good a husband
as you are a friend,
339
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,796
she is one lucky lady.
340
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:51,897
Thanks, Stan.
341
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,732
Yep, you guessed it!
342
00:13:53,801 --> 00:13:57,469
My Tommy Hilfiger shirt was next!
343
00:13:57,471 --> 00:13:59,004
Now, let's get you to your wedding.
344
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,605
What about the keys?
345
00:14:01,569 --> 00:14:05,711
Nother set under my
Louis Vuitton floor mats!
346
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,312
Aah!
347
00:14:09,483 --> 00:14:11,082
We're gonna make it.
348
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,284
We just have to stop at the
dry cleaners to get our suits.
349
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:16,221
And maybe the drugstore
for some Neosporin?
350
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,322
Is someone hurt?
351
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,224
I can't hear so well on this side.
352
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,492
Don't get old.
353
00:14:20,494 --> 00:14:22,193
How 'bout some tunes for the road?
354
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:26,832
♪ Everybody's talking
all this stuff about me ♪
355
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,901
Where do I know that dog from?
356
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,203
Is he from a TV show?
357
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,372
From a movie?
358
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,641
Aaaaahhh, the dog followed us!
359
00:14:35,676 --> 00:14:39,044
Oh! From the chasing us earlier!
360
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,345
We're almost to the cleaners.
361
00:14:40,414 --> 00:14:42,447
We can't get out if the dog is there.
362
00:14:44,585 --> 00:14:47,252
We need to open the tailgate
without stopping the truck.
363
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,387
I'm on it!
364
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,988
♪ They say I'm nasty ♪
365
00:14:51,106 --> 00:14:53,659
♪ But I don't give a damn ♪
366
00:14:53,694 --> 00:14:56,127
- ♪ Gettin' girls is how I live ♪
- Hit the gas!
367
00:14:57,264 --> 00:14:59,765
♪ Some ask me questions ♪
368
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,767
♪ Why am I so real? ♪
369
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,669
♪ But they don't understand me ♪
370
00:15:03,704 --> 00:15:05,671
♪ Or really don't know the deal ♪
371
00:15:05,706 --> 00:15:07,338
♪ About a brother ♪
372
00:15:07,340 --> 00:15:09,641
Aaaaah!
373
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:14,980
I got our suits!
374
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,316
If we can,
I'd love to grab a quick shower
375
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,917
before I throw this baby on.
376
00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:22,587
Is it hot or cold water that
gets glass out of your face?
377
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,389
You know what? I'll just push it in.
378
00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:28,593
I can't believe the love of my life
379
00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:31,997
is right through these
doors waiting to marry me.
380
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:35,066
I don't know how to thank
you guys for getting me here.
381
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,402
- Rabies shot.
- We're your boyz, Klaus.
382
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:38,937
You don't have to thank us.
383
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:41,740
Now, get in there and nail
that interview or whatever!
384
00:15:47,048 --> 00:15:48,513
Oh, no!
385
00:15:48,582 --> 00:15:52,317
They must've killed
Shoshanna because we're late!
386
00:15:57,658 --> 00:15:59,858
Klaus, where's your wedding?
387
00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:02,427
There was never gonna be a wedding.
388
00:16:02,496 --> 00:16:05,797
Shoshanna dumped me six months ago.
389
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,566
You lied about getting married?
390
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,501
Just to have a bachelor party?
391
00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:11,803
No. Just to have friends.
392
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:14,005
How am I supposed to trick
you into hanging out with me
393
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,306
if I don't lie?
394
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,977
But now that I've come clean,
can we go out for ice cream?
395
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:21,880
It is my birthday.
396
00:16:21,949 --> 00:16:24,183
Shhhh! This is a librari...
397
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,284
No, it's not, it's a church.
398
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,552
...ian's funeral.
399
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:28,720
A librarian died.
400
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:30,355
Show some respect and be quiet!
401
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,958
A lot of people
don't know this about Sheila,
402
00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:34,559
but she loved books.
403
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,997
You can't quiet the bachelor boyz!
404
00:16:39,066 --> 00:16:40,465
We're not boyz, Klaus.
405
00:16:40,534 --> 00:16:43,134
We'll never be boyz with a "Z" again.
406
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,070
Let's go.
407
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,575
Noooooooo!
408
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,279
Hey, kid.
409
00:16:54,281 --> 00:16:56,415
How do we get your dad
to come out of the walls?
410
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,550
You gotta challenge him to a dance-off.
411
00:16:58,552 --> 00:16:59,985
Can I get a few minutes to stretch?
412
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,421
Hayley, please.
Steve, go get your fireman hat.
413
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,390
Yay! Weeoo weeoo!
414
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,759
Actually my dad has a stripper rival.
415
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,328
His brother Todd Rod.
416
00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,796
If you get my uncle here,
417
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:13,499
my dad will have to come
out for the dance-off.
418
00:17:14,935 --> 00:17:18,037
Anybody need a hose?
419
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,007
We should have trusted our instincts
420
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,608
about a weekend with Klaus.
421
00:17:23,677 --> 00:17:25,444
I feel so duped!
422
00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:27,646
Compliments of the orange gentleman.
423
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,516
Why are there four milks?
424
00:17:31,585 --> 00:17:33,452
He was hoping he could join you.
425
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,721
And that you would pay for the milks.
426
00:17:36,924 --> 00:17:38,657
No.
427
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:43,795
They're gonna cook him!
428
00:17:43,797 --> 00:17:45,196
And I'm gonna try him.
429
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:47,766
No, Jeff,
he's just working off the milks.
430
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:54,873
It's a damn cartoon!
431
00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:56,541
I can't look at this anymore!
432
00:17:56,610 --> 00:17:58,109
I hate cartoons.
433
00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,679
They'll do anything for a laugh.
434
00:18:03,717 --> 00:18:06,485
Ugh! I'll cover the bill.
435
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:10,889
Thanks, guys. What's up?
436
00:18:10,958 --> 00:18:13,124
What's up is you're a liar, Klaus.
437
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,659
Well, I'm done lying!
438
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:16,595
Please, let me back in the group!
439
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,830
I only have one week to live!
440
00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:22,067
Wait! You want to hear the truth?
441
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,303
I didn't invent solar panels.
442
00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:28,473
My favorite flavor isn't saffron,
it's mayonnaise.
443
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,776
I wish there was mayonnaise gum.
444
00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:34,279
I didn't write the Sublime song
"Santeria."
445
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,981
Sublime did.
446
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:38,950
When I see a child's bike unattended,
I steal it.
447
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,853
I still don't know who Barack Obama is.
448
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,922
It's okay, Klaus. Just stop.
449
00:18:43,991 --> 00:18:46,391
You can't go through
life lying to people.
450
00:18:46,394 --> 00:18:47,959
I know!
451
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:50,329
I wasn't lying about
loving the Instant Pot!
452
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:53,332
But Shoshanna got to
keep it in the breakup.
453
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,834
I'll never see it again.
454
00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:57,703
Check this guy out, lyin' again.
455
00:18:57,771 --> 00:18:59,038
Jeff and Roger, no!
456
00:18:59,106 --> 00:19:01,640
You're gonna see that Instant Pot again.
457
00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:03,809
'Cause your boyz are gonna get it back.
458
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:06,745
You're my boyz again?
459
00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:08,513
With a "Z," my dude.
460
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,853
Powerful stream.
461
00:19:17,124 --> 00:19:19,958
You guys have one song to
show us your best moves.
462
00:19:20,027 --> 00:19:22,461
We choose the winner,
then you leave forever.
463
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:24,430
We need music.
464
00:19:24,465 --> 00:19:28,033
Dance now, or I'll shoot you
with my husband's guns.
465
00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:33,072
- ♪ Everybody's talking... what about ♪
- ♪ Everybody's talking stuff ♪
466
00:19:33,140 --> 00:19:34,906
- ♪ Why don't... ♪
- Move over.
467
00:19:34,908 --> 00:19:38,109
- Left-foot stutter step.
- ♪ Live... why don't... ♪
468
00:19:38,111 --> 00:19:40,111
- In my way!
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
469
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:41,880
- ♪ Why don't people just... ♪
- Ooh!
470
00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:43,382
- ♪ Made my... ♪
- Hurts, don't it? Tell your friends.
471
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:44,883
- ♪ Chillin' ♪
- Unh!
472
00:19:44,952 --> 00:19:47,252
- ♪ They say I'm nasty ♪
- Yeah, oh, you can't touch.
473
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,255
- ♪ Why don't they ♪
- ♪ They say I'm crazy ♪
474
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,860
♪ Tell me why ♪
475
00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,195
- Prerogative!
- Prerogative!
476
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:58,363
Ugh, my prostate.
477
00:19:58,432 --> 00:20:00,099
Honestly, Rick was better.
478
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:02,101
Yeah, watching Rick compared to Todd
479
00:20:02,169 --> 00:20:04,936
did give me a brief tingle
in my downtown tinsel town.
480
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,505
I have to agree with my colleagues.
481
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:09,040
Yes! Up yours, Todd!
482
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,809
That'll be eight dollars, ma'am.
483
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:12,878
- What?
- You got two dancers.
484
00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:14,679
I had to charge you double.
485
00:20:16,850 --> 00:20:18,917
Klaus, what are you doing here?
486
00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:23,555
Shoshanna, what we had was too
beautiful to just throw away.
487
00:20:23,557 --> 00:20:25,224
I've been thinking the same thing.
488
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,458
Wait, really?
489
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:28,660
Yes, I miss you.
490
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:30,195
Guys, abort!
491
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,563
I love you, Shoshanna!
492
00:20:31,565 --> 00:20:33,198
The wedding is back on!
493
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,635
I got it, Klaus! I got the Instant Pot.
494
00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:42,641
You only came to get the Instant Pot?
495
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:44,810
Screw you, Klaus!
496
00:20:44,878 --> 00:20:47,246
Don't ever contact me again!
497
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,880
No doi, he hates you.
498
00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:50,615
No, now they're the liars!
499
00:20:52,486 --> 00:20:53,492
Klaus's Boyz!
500
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:56,889
Shoshanna!
501
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,159
Bye-bye! See you soon!
502
00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:04,048
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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