Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,515 --> 00:00:25,585
Come on, it's just a word.
2
00:00:25,618 --> 00:00:27,419
Say it, already.
3
00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:28,555
Alright, you got this.
4
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:37,996
I want your hot, throbbing...
5
00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:39,432
Ugh.
6
00:00:39,466 --> 00:00:42,100
Uh-uh. No. Gross.
7
00:00:42,134 --> 00:00:43,068
And painful.
8
00:00:43,101 --> 00:00:45,438
Who would ask for hot,
throbbing anything?
9
00:00:45,472 --> 00:00:47,139
Throbbing is what happens
to your finger
10
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,741
when you slam it
in the car door.
11
00:00:50,275 --> 00:00:51,611
I want it now.
12
00:00:51,644 --> 00:00:55,113
Your hot, throbbing...
13
00:00:58,451 --> 00:01:00,787
Ok.
14
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:03,823
Give it to me.
15
00:01:03,857 --> 00:01:09,762
And by "it", I mean I want
your hot, throbbing... nope!
16
00:01:09,796 --> 00:01:10,597
No!
17
00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,599
Not at all convincing!
18
00:01:12,632 --> 00:01:14,132
God, Luce, it's a word.
19
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:16,201
It's a word,
just say it already.
20
00:01:16,736 --> 00:01:17,704
Alright.
21
00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:26,411
I want your hot, throbbing...
22
00:01:28,481 --> 00:01:29,549
For the love of god!
23
00:01:29,582 --> 00:01:32,351
Cock! Cock! Cock!
24
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:33,486
Cock! Cock!
25
00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,020
Cock!
26
00:01:39,592 --> 00:01:45,498
Oh... um, my friend has this
farm and there's this rooster.
27
00:01:45,532 --> 00:01:46,799
Troublemaker.
28
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:52,304
Alright.
29
00:01:52,337 --> 00:01:57,075
Well, that is a... sentence
that's just never gonna happen.
30
00:04:25,458 --> 00:04:27,560
Wait, what's he doing
with his hand?
31
00:04:27,593 --> 00:04:29,327
That actually feels good.
32
00:04:29,361 --> 00:04:31,229
So that was an accident.
33
00:04:31,263 --> 00:04:33,298
You're so... good to me.
34
00:04:36,602 --> 00:04:37,235
Hey.
35
00:04:37,269 --> 00:04:37,837
Hmm?
36
00:04:37,870 --> 00:04:38,705
Are we good?
37
00:04:38,738 --> 00:04:39,371
Yeah.
38
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:39,906
You like that?
39
00:04:39,939 --> 00:04:40,440
Ok. Good.
40
00:04:40,473 --> 00:04:43,576
Ok, sexy thoughts.
41
00:04:43,609 --> 00:04:47,013
A cabana on a hot,
tropical beach.
42
00:04:47,046 --> 00:04:48,246
I'm getting a massage,
43
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:53,619
which suddenly turns into
spontaneous, unbridled sex.
44
00:04:53,653 --> 00:04:54,954
With Steve Carell.
45
00:04:54,987 --> 00:04:57,957
Only like in his newer movies,
with silver hair.
46
00:04:57,990 --> 00:04:59,291
Yes!
47
00:04:59,324 --> 00:04:59,859
Yes!
48
00:04:59,892 --> 00:05:00,793
I'm coming!
49
00:05:00,827 --> 00:05:01,961
Yes!
50
00:05:01,994 --> 00:05:03,361
Wheat-free waffles!
51
00:05:03,395 --> 00:05:05,363
Shit, did I just say
that out loud?
52
00:05:05,397 --> 00:05:06,799
Huh?
53
00:05:06,833 --> 00:05:07,967
Sorry.
54
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:08,868
Just a second.
55
00:05:10,402 --> 00:05:11,904
That was what I forgot
at the store.
56
00:05:11,938 --> 00:05:13,806
I couldn't remember all day.
57
00:05:15,475 --> 00:05:16,876
No, no, no, no.
58
00:05:16,909 --> 00:05:17,577
It's good.
59
00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:20,012
My mind is completely free.
60
00:05:20,312 --> 00:05:21,981
I'm ready now.
61
00:05:24,751 --> 00:05:27,987
Yeah... I don't think you are.
62
00:05:38,363 --> 00:05:40,566
We should get a ceiling fan.
63
00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:43,368
Hey, what're you doing?
64
00:05:43,970 --> 00:05:45,872
No-don't mess up my lists.
65
00:05:45,905 --> 00:05:46,839
Why?
66
00:05:46,873 --> 00:05:48,474
It's not like you ever finish
any of them.
67
00:05:48,508 --> 00:05:49,307
That is not true.
68
00:05:49,341 --> 00:05:50,710
Just because you're
angry, don't-
69
00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:51,544
Ok, look.
70
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:53,446
Most women, during sex,
you know,
71
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:55,615
they say things like...
72
00:05:55,648 --> 00:05:58,350
I don't-like, "yes, yes,
give it to me good".
73
00:05:58,383 --> 00:06:01,654
Who says that?
74
00:06:01,687 --> 00:06:02,522
People.
75
00:06:02,555 --> 00:06:04,056
People who you know?
76
00:06:04,090 --> 00:06:05,958
You honestly want me
to yell out,
77
00:06:05,992 --> 00:06:07,927
"Yes, yes, give it to me good"?
78
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:11,363
Well, it would be better
than "wheat-free waffles".
79
00:06:11,396 --> 00:06:14,433
Why don't you just admit
that you're not into sex?
80
00:06:14,467 --> 00:06:16,903
I'm so not not into sex.
81
00:06:16,936 --> 00:06:19,038
You didn't even take off
your pyjamas!
82
00:06:19,071 --> 00:06:21,373
Yeah, well, they're comfortable!
83
00:06:21,941 --> 00:06:22,775
What're you doing?
84
00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:24,076
You gotta
be kidding me.
85
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:27,046
I have work to do.
86
00:06:27,079 --> 00:06:27,747
I'm on a deadline.
87
00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:30,016
You work in the garage, alright?
88
00:06:30,049 --> 00:06:32,552
Testing video games!
89
00:06:35,855 --> 00:06:37,456
Don't judge me.
90
00:06:42,962 --> 00:06:44,530
Sorry, Mr. Bach.
91
00:06:44,564 --> 00:06:50,335
I need something with
a little more spirit.
92
00:06:54,941 --> 00:06:56,408
Great.
93
00:06:57,443 --> 00:06:58,744
Where is my cord?
94
00:07:23,035 --> 00:07:25,872
Oh my god, he's a regular.
95
00:07:30,042 --> 00:07:32,678
Don't stop!
96
00:07:32,712 --> 00:07:39,018
Oh my-oh my... that
is a lot of vagina.
97
00:07:39,051 --> 00:07:42,021
Yes, yes, give it to me good!
98
00:07:42,054 --> 00:07:45,925
Oh my god, did she really
just say that?
99
00:07:47,727 --> 00:07:49,428
Thank you, sweetie.
100
00:07:50,663 --> 00:07:51,564
I thought you were evolved.
101
00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:54,500
We met at a film festival,
for god's sake!
102
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:55,635
What're you talking about?
103
00:07:55,668 --> 00:07:59,438
What I'm talking about is that.
104
00:07:59,472 --> 00:08:01,974
What is that?
105
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:03,576
I don't know, a girl?
106
00:08:03,609 --> 00:08:04,477
No.
107
00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:05,478
I'm a girl.
108
00:08:05,511 --> 00:08:06,879
That is a vixen.
109
00:08:06,913 --> 00:08:08,514
Whatever.
110
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:09,682
Excuse me?
111
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,050
What, I'm not enough?
112
00:08:11,083 --> 00:08:12,051
Look, ok, yeah.
113
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:15,154
I'm sorry you're upset,
but you kinda have this,
114
00:08:15,187 --> 00:08:19,558
like, irrational fear of
intimacy or anything
115
00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,193
that can't be put on a list.
116
00:08:21,227 --> 00:08:23,596
You are talking sensuality to me
as you are sitting there
117
00:08:23,629 --> 00:08:25,898
hacking heads off?
118
00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:26,999
Oh, is this funny to you?
119
00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:28,601
Really?
120
00:08:31,837 --> 00:08:33,940
Since when are you
a porn person?
121
00:08:33,973 --> 00:08:38,878
Well, I'm a guy,
so since always.
122
00:08:41,714 --> 00:08:43,149
Oh, see, that's bullshit.
123
00:08:43,182 --> 00:08:45,184
I just got killed
by crossfire again.
124
00:08:45,217 --> 00:08:47,053
How are you being so
nonchalant about this?
125
00:08:47,086 --> 00:08:47,987
In this day in age,
126
00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:49,689
when women are finally
standing up to men
127
00:08:49,722 --> 00:08:51,557
who use sex as a tool
of oppression, you're-
128
00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:53,926
Woah, woah,
woah, woah, woah!
129
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,228
I'm not oppressing anyone, ok?
130
00:08:56,262 --> 00:09:00,066
They put it out there,
guys pay for it, and girls,
131
00:09:00,099 --> 00:09:02,001
everyone's happy.
132
00:09:02,034 --> 00:09:05,037
Have... have you ever watched
a porn film?
133
00:09:05,071 --> 00:09:06,706
I think I just saw plenty,
134
00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:09,041
and I hardly think
that the word film applies,
135
00:09:09,075 --> 00:09:11,978
not when it degrades
the entire female species.
136
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:14,580
Yeah, see, I don't think so.
137
00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,649
I think it's just a business.
138
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:17,683
Oh.
139
00:09:17,717 --> 00:09:18,784
Oh, ok. I see.
140
00:09:18,818 --> 00:09:21,587
So it's just a collection of
highly-skilled workers
141
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:22,955
providing a service.
142
00:09:22,989 --> 00:09:24,056
Yeah, exactly.
143
00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:28,094
And the best are banking
millions and the rest are
144
00:09:28,127 --> 00:09:34,100
compensated really well
for their... artistry.
145
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:35,534
Artistry?
146
00:09:35,568 --> 00:09:36,969
Yeah.
147
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:38,604
Mmmhmm. Yeah. Yes.
148
00:09:38,637 --> 00:09:40,940
It's uh, it's kinda like you
with your violin.
149
00:09:40,973 --> 00:09:41,907
Right?
150
00:09:41,941 --> 00:09:43,042
Is it so hard for you
to understand that,
151
00:09:43,075 --> 00:09:47,546
you know, this is how some
people express themselves?
152
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,982
What I can't believe is that
you are attempting
153
00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:54,954
to draw a parallel
between what I do and this.
154
00:09:54,987 --> 00:09:57,156
That's because
you're pornophobic.
155
00:09:57,189 --> 00:09:58,657
That's not even a word.
156
00:09:58,691 --> 00:10:00,593
You know, how uptight you are,
157
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:03,162
it's kinda like your
whole life problem.
158
00:10:03,195 --> 00:10:04,964
No, even words are
too much for you.
159
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:05,598
We're done.
160
00:10:05,631 --> 00:10:07,166
Wait, no, we're not done.
161
00:10:07,199 --> 00:10:08,100
Lucy.
162
00:10:08,134 --> 00:10:08,934
Come here.
163
00:10:08,968 --> 00:10:09,869
Ow, Jesus. Come on.
164
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:10,603
Ugh.
165
00:10:10,636 --> 00:10:11,137
Lucy, come back.
166
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,071
Hey! Wait!
167
00:10:12,104 --> 00:10:14,707
Just try saying something racy.
168
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:15,509
Like what?
169
00:10:15,541 --> 00:10:18,177
Like, I don't know,
like... use
170
00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:21,213
"hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
171
00:10:21,247 --> 00:10:22,815
Why would anyone do that?
172
00:10:22,848 --> 00:10:24,784
And by the way, since when
do we spy on each other?
173
00:10:24,817 --> 00:10:25,651
I mean, spying?
174
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:26,185
That's not cool.
175
00:10:26,218 --> 00:10:28,020
I wasn't spying!
176
00:10:28,054 --> 00:10:29,989
And I don't know
who you are anymore.
177
00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:32,691
Yeah, well I don't know
you worse!
178
00:10:34,126 --> 00:10:36,896
Well, I'm not gonna compete
with all of that.
179
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,665
So... so you need to decide.
180
00:10:39,698 --> 00:10:42,034
It's me or the porn!
181
00:10:44,904 --> 00:10:45,805
Really?
182
00:10:45,838 --> 00:10:48,140
That's what you consider
an essential item?
183
00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,309
He's autographed.
184
00:10:51,343 --> 00:10:52,845
Come on, bud.
185
00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:55,047
Don't-don't crease
and don't break.
186
00:10:55,081 --> 00:10:57,616
Alright, it's just
you and me now.
187
00:11:09,762 --> 00:11:11,697
I hope you get that stick
out of your ass!
188
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:12,832
Why?
189
00:11:12,865 --> 00:11:15,034
So you can use it
on yourself?!
190
00:11:19,939 --> 00:11:20,739
Hi, Mr. Glassell.
191
00:11:20,773 --> 00:11:22,007
Good morning.
192
00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,943
It was.
193
00:11:30,149 --> 00:11:30,816
Where are you?
194
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:31,350
You're late.
195
00:11:31,383 --> 00:11:32,351
You're never late.
196
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:33,152
I'm worried.
197
00:11:33,185 --> 00:11:34,987
Should I be worried?
198
00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:43,929
I'm coming.
199
00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,064
Sorry.
200
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:50,069
Ok, so sorry.
201
00:11:50,903 --> 00:11:52,104
Where have you been?
202
00:11:52,138 --> 00:11:53,706
The bride's about
to start trotting up.
203
00:11:53,739 --> 00:11:54,907
Sorry.
204
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:56,775
A bride on a horse.
205
00:11:56,809 --> 00:11:57,977
What could go wrong?
206
00:11:58,744 --> 00:12:00,012
Play.
207
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:29,909
Hello there, Mr. Best Man.
208
00:12:30,510 --> 00:12:31,977
Oh, no, that's actually
my friend Grant.
209
00:12:32,011 --> 00:12:33,946
I think he's just a groomsman.
210
00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:38,951
Matrimony.
211
00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,955
The commemoration of
an unshakable bond.
212
00:12:45,525 --> 00:12:47,293
Oh, dear me.
213
00:12:47,326 --> 00:12:50,029
Oh my-oh my god.
214
00:12:50,062 --> 00:12:51,163
Yeah, no, this wedding
is awesome.
215
00:12:51,197 --> 00:12:52,264
That could not
have been the plan.
216
00:12:54,467 --> 00:12:55,502
Oh gosh.
217
00:12:58,070 --> 00:12:59,271
Is that horse poo?
218
00:12:59,305 --> 00:13:00,706
God, it smells.
219
00:13:02,141 --> 00:13:03,309
Pretend it's not there.
220
00:13:03,842 --> 00:13:07,346
Oh, she's gonna remember
this day, isn't she?
221
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:09,215
You wanted the horse, ok?
222
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:11,784
Well, if she cancels she still
has to pay us, right?
223
00:13:11,817 --> 00:13:13,453
Yes, especially because it was
Grant who referred us
224
00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:14,720
for the job.
225
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:17,156
I just-I'm sorry, I can't get
over how he is so good-looking
226
00:13:17,189 --> 00:13:18,891
and you never told me about him.
227
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,192
You don't date actual adults.
228
00:13:20,226 --> 00:13:21,160
Kale?
229
00:13:21,193 --> 00:13:22,361
He's an adult.
230
00:13:22,394 --> 00:13:24,363
He picks you up on a skateboard.
231
00:13:24,396 --> 00:13:25,231
It's ok, everyone.
232
00:13:25,264 --> 00:13:26,265
I'm ok.
233
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,100
Why are you giving my dude
such a hard
234
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:29,034
time when this one over here,
235
00:13:29,068 --> 00:13:31,937
she's sleeping on Captain
America sheets.
236
00:13:33,072 --> 00:13:33,906
Lucy, are you alright?
237
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:34,441
Are you crying?
238
00:13:34,474 --> 00:13:35,374
I was just kidding.
239
00:13:35,407 --> 00:13:38,277
Yeah, it was just a joke
about the sheets.
240
00:13:38,578 --> 00:13:40,079
Jeff left me.
241
00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:42,348
He moved out.
242
00:13:43,249 --> 00:13:45,050
Are you ok?
243
00:13:45,084 --> 00:13:47,019
I'm so sorry, Luce,
that's terrible.
244
00:13:55,027 --> 00:13:56,395
Ok, now.
245
00:13:56,429 --> 00:13:57,363
Where were we?
246
00:13:57,396 --> 00:13:59,031
We're going to get married now.
247
00:13:59,064 --> 00:14:00,866
Yeah.
248
00:14:09,174 --> 00:14:11,377
I don't know,
it's all such a blur.
249
00:14:11,410 --> 00:14:12,278
Actually, no.
250
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,013
It started while
we were having sex, and-
251
00:14:14,046 --> 00:14:15,582
Ok.
252
00:14:15,615 --> 00:14:18,150
Is that why you guys fought?
253
00:14:18,183 --> 00:14:21,153
I remembered an item
off of my grocery list, so-
254
00:14:21,186 --> 00:14:22,821
Oh, honey.
255
00:14:22,855 --> 00:14:24,990
How do you expect to survive
marriage week after week,
256
00:14:25,024 --> 00:14:26,191
year after year?
257
00:14:26,225 --> 00:14:31,263
Sex with the same person in
the same order for 27 years.
258
00:14:31,297 --> 00:14:33,399
Well, until you find yourself
one day dressing up for the guy
259
00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:35,401
who sprays for bugs.
260
00:14:35,435 --> 00:14:37,269
Well, how do you expect
to survive all that
261
00:14:37,303 --> 00:14:38,471
if you can't focus now?
262
00:14:38,505 --> 00:14:43,208
I might have focus issues
but he is into porn, alright?
263
00:14:43,242 --> 00:14:44,176
It's disgusting!
264
00:14:44,209 --> 00:14:47,079
It was all over his computer,
he is totally-
265
00:14:47,112 --> 00:14:48,380
A man?
266
00:14:48,414 --> 00:14:51,116
All men look at dirty pictures,
married or not.
267
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:53,118
It's-it's how they maintain
their vigour.
268
00:14:53,152 --> 00:14:53,952
Right, Paul?
269
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:55,020
Well, it's-
270
00:14:55,054 --> 00:14:57,156
When men start declining
sexually by the age of 18.
271
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:59,158
Once they hit 30
it's a ski slope.
272
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:00,859
I beg your pardon.
273
00:15:00,893 --> 00:15:02,294
Except for Paul.
274
00:15:02,328 --> 00:15:03,996
Who is, I'm sure,
a sexual wonder.
275
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,864
Didn't your girlfriend leave
you for a woman, though?
276
00:15:05,898 --> 00:15:06,700
Ok, easy.
277
00:15:06,733 --> 00:15:08,334
Wait, does this mean
you have porn?
278
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:08,901
Hmm?
279
00:15:08,934 --> 00:15:10,169
And go to strip clubs?
280
00:15:10,202 --> 00:15:11,170
No, I do not go
to strip clubs.
281
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:12,171
Ever?
282
00:15:12,204 --> 00:15:13,440
I have, but it's not like I do.
283
00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:15,040
Do you use the internet?
284
00:15:15,074 --> 00:15:15,608
Define "use".
285
00:15:15,642 --> 00:15:16,443
What about prostitutes?
286
00:15:16,476 --> 00:15:17,510
No, not the ones
who do it for crack.
287
00:15:17,544 --> 00:15:20,045
I mean like the ones you go
to that thing in Vegas
288
00:15:20,079 --> 00:15:21,080
that I've seen on HBO.
289
00:15:21,113 --> 00:15:22,014
Do you know what?
I'm out.
290
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:22,881
I knew it.
291
00:15:22,915 --> 00:15:24,049
Hello.
292
00:15:24,083 --> 00:15:25,452
Ask me about sex.
293
00:15:25,485 --> 00:15:27,086
I'm right here.
294
00:15:27,119 --> 00:15:28,020
No.
295
00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,355
Your enthusiasm is really
un-relatable.
296
00:15:29,388 --> 00:15:30,222
Oh, come on.
297
00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:32,157
I got this whole library
of cliterature.
298
00:15:32,191 --> 00:15:32,891
You can just-
299
00:15:32,925 --> 00:15:34,126
What?
300
00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:36,929
Books you diddle to, babe.
301
00:15:36,962 --> 00:15:37,831
Please, girl.
302
00:15:37,863 --> 00:15:40,065
Tell me that you masturbate,
at least.
303
00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:42,101
No.
304
00:15:42,134 --> 00:15:43,936
This is not about me, alright?
305
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:45,404
This is about my
boyfriend leaving
306
00:15:45,438 --> 00:15:48,575
because I think being a pervert
is really inappropriate.
307
00:15:48,608 --> 00:15:54,980
I also have blindfolds,
handcuffs, vibrators...
308
00:15:57,049 --> 00:15:58,150
Priscilla has them, too!
309
00:15:58,183 --> 00:16:00,219
Oh, the buzz buzz,
not the rest of it.
310
00:16:00,252 --> 00:16:01,153
You do?
311
00:16:01,186 --> 00:16:02,154
It's called a personal massager.
312
00:16:02,187 --> 00:16:03,490
I got it at Brookestone.
313
00:16:03,523 --> 00:16:05,324
Really?
314
00:16:05,357 --> 00:16:06,325
Oh.
315
00:16:06,358 --> 00:16:10,129
Well... but you have Stanley.
316
00:16:10,162 --> 00:16:12,432
Vibrators are necessary,
my dear.
317
00:16:12,465 --> 00:16:14,366
Because life is short
318
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,637
and explaining things
to men is long.
319
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:40,593
Sex to do list.
320
00:16:40,627 --> 00:16:44,096
Number one.
Watch 25 porn films.
321
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:47,434
Number two.
Go to a sex store.
322
00:16:47,467 --> 00:16:50,302
Number three.
Read cliterature.
323
00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:52,539
Number four.
Visit strip club.
324
00:16:52,572 --> 00:16:54,139
Number five.
Sex toy party.
325
00:16:54,173 --> 00:16:55,708
Number six.
Sex seminar.
326
00:16:55,742 --> 00:16:57,242
Number seven.
Test vibrators.
327
00:16:57,276 --> 00:16:59,479
Number eight. Internet porn,
view some.
328
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:01,648
Number nine.
Consult a sex expert.
329
00:17:01,681 --> 00:17:03,450
Number 10.
Brothel, visit.
330
00:17:03,483 --> 00:17:06,018
Number 11.
Meet a porn star.
331
00:17:06,051 --> 00:17:07,252
Number 12...
332
00:17:07,286 --> 00:17:11,156
Use "hot, throbbing cock"
convincingly in a sentence.
333
00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:12,525
There.
334
00:17:12,559 --> 00:17:17,095
And I can even check
the last one off right now.
335
00:17:23,368 --> 00:17:25,672
For the love of god, cock!
336
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:28,173
Cock! Cock! Cock!
337
00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:29,609
Cock! Cock.
338
00:17:29,642 --> 00:17:31,210
I want your cock!
339
00:17:32,612 --> 00:17:34,112
Well done.
340
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,281
Cock.
341
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,000
God!
342
00:17:57,737 --> 00:17:58,538
Hey!
343
00:17:58,571 --> 00:18:00,072
Woah!
344
00:18:00,105 --> 00:18:02,809
Oh, Grant, you gotta go
check out the ballroom, man.
345
00:18:02,842 --> 00:18:04,544
The bridal party's twerkin'.
346
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:06,646
Woah.
347
00:18:06,679 --> 00:18:07,279
You're kidding.
348
00:18:07,312 --> 00:18:08,515
Ah, ah!
349
00:18:10,850 --> 00:18:12,217
Ugh!
350
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,420
Oh my god,
are you serious?
351
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,356
Hello?
352
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:19,224
I can't believe you
would do this to me.
353
00:18:19,258 --> 00:18:19,826
What, Jeff?
354
00:18:19,859 --> 00:18:21,628
I'm not enough for you?
355
00:18:21,661 --> 00:18:23,028
Ugh!
356
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:27,800
Everything alright in there?
357
00:18:29,101 --> 00:18:30,637
Coming in.
358
00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:39,512
You alright, love?
359
00:18:39,546 --> 00:18:41,246
You want me to get the doctor?
360
00:18:42,314 --> 00:18:43,081
What?
361
00:18:43,115 --> 00:18:44,149
Why-no.
362
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,150
What, because
I'm on the floor?
363
00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:46,084
No.
364
00:18:46,118 --> 00:18:47,085
No.
365
00:18:47,119 --> 00:18:48,120
No, no, no.
366
00:18:48,153 --> 00:18:49,154
I'm just medicating.
367
00:18:49,187 --> 00:18:50,122
Tating.
368
00:18:50,155 --> 00:18:52,525
Meditating.
369
00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,761
I just heard crying
or yelling.
370
00:18:54,794 --> 00:18:55,762
Chanting.
371
00:18:55,795 --> 00:18:56,529
Chanting?
372
00:18:56,563 --> 00:18:57,463
Yeah.
373
00:18:57,497 --> 00:18:59,499
Yeah?
374
00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:01,133
Just coming to check to make
sure everything's fine?
375
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:02,401
Yeah.
376
00:19:02,435 --> 00:19:05,237
No, I always do like a little
chant for the gride and broom.
377
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,140
Before the first dance.
378
00:19:08,173 --> 00:19:11,109
How do you mean?
379
00:19:11,143 --> 00:19:14,212
Oh, you know,
like a chant.
380
00:19:14,246 --> 00:19:16,516
Yeah, no, I don't.
381
00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:18,183
Yeah, just sort of...
382
00:19:19,018 --> 00:19:27,827
Close my eyes and go
383
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:32,832
Chanting...
384
00:19:32,865 --> 00:19:34,701
Which obviously
means something.
385
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:35,501
Unity.
386
00:19:35,535 --> 00:19:36,469
Yeah.
387
00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:41,273
Yeah. It means unity
in that they're now one.
388
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:43,443
And yet they're two.
389
00:19:43,476 --> 00:19:47,145
So, really it's about being
strong enough
390
00:19:47,179 --> 00:19:51,517
to make one one
out of two ones.
391
00:19:51,551 --> 00:19:53,720
And yet still be two.
392
00:19:53,753 --> 00:19:54,554
Yeah.
393
00:19:54,587 --> 00:19:56,388
Makes sense.
394
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:58,423
Totally get it.
395
00:19:58,458 --> 00:19:59,324
You do?
396
00:19:59,358 --> 00:20:00,593
Yeah.
397
00:20:00,627 --> 00:20:03,830
It's... like a building.
398
00:20:03,863 --> 00:20:05,698
It's only as strong
as its weakest pillar.
399
00:20:05,732 --> 00:20:07,667
Yeah, but is that true?
400
00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:10,268
Because it seems to me that
if you have enough pillars,
401
00:20:10,302 --> 00:20:12,204
like say you're the Acropolis,
402
00:20:12,237 --> 00:20:15,775
I think you could get away
with one crappy pillar.
403
00:20:15,808 --> 00:20:16,876
Sure.
404
00:20:16,909 --> 00:20:22,482
Except for earthquakes,
hurricanes, strong winds...
405
00:20:22,515 --> 00:20:23,315
Aliens.
406
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,217
Well, we can't do much
about that.
407
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:27,219
But you make a good point.
408
00:20:27,252 --> 00:20:29,421
One in which I happen
to believe in.
409
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:32,925
Uh... what-what point
is that?
410
00:20:32,959 --> 00:20:36,194
Well, you can't be useful
in a two
411
00:20:36,228 --> 00:20:39,197
until you figure yourself
out as a one.
412
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:41,734
Hmm.
413
00:20:42,969 --> 00:20:44,236
Cocktail?
414
00:20:44,269 --> 00:20:45,872
Oh, I'm fine, thanks.
415
00:20:45,905 --> 00:20:47,205
Well, here's to me.
416
00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:48,608
That was brilliant.
417
00:20:48,641 --> 00:20:49,509
But you're right.
418
00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:50,877
No time for cocktails.
419
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:58,551
The two ones must waltz
so this one one must play.
420
00:20:58,584 --> 00:20:59,686
Ok.
421
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:05,223
Alrighty.
422
00:21:05,257 --> 00:21:06,492
Hey.
423
00:21:06,526 --> 00:21:08,594
Don't you need this?
424
00:21:10,029 --> 00:21:12,665
Or you chant the waltz, too?
425
00:21:12,699 --> 00:21:14,500
Sometimes.
426
00:21:28,748 --> 00:21:30,282
I'm not pornophobic.
427
00:21:34,554 --> 00:21:36,022
All men look at dirty pictures.
428
00:21:36,055 --> 00:21:39,257
Oh, Jeff.
429
00:21:39,291 --> 00:21:41,627
Yes, yes, give it to me good.
430
00:21:41,661 --> 00:21:43,930
You're pornophobic.
431
00:21:43,963 --> 00:21:47,567
I cannot drink her blood,
she's pornophobic.
432
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:48,801
Am I not enough?
433
00:21:48,835 --> 00:21:51,604
Looks like she's suffering
from stage four pornophobia.
434
00:21:51,637 --> 00:21:53,940
Say something racy.
435
00:21:53,973 --> 00:21:55,441
It's a word.
436
00:21:55,475 --> 00:21:56,809
Just say it already.
437
00:21:56,843 --> 00:21:58,044
Pornophobic.
438
00:21:58,077 --> 00:21:59,045
Jeff left me.
439
00:21:59,078 --> 00:22:00,780
Pornophobic.
440
00:22:00,813 --> 00:22:03,983
Today we gather here
to remember Lucy Neal,
441
00:22:04,016 --> 00:22:08,286
who died alone from pornophobia.
442
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,691
She died in the house she
inherited from her grandmother
443
00:22:11,724 --> 00:22:15,895
that she was only able to
fill with unfinished lists,
444
00:22:15,928 --> 00:22:16,996
not love.
445
00:22:17,029 --> 00:22:18,931
You're pornophobic!
446
00:22:37,884 --> 00:22:38,885
Ok.
447
00:22:45,124 --> 00:22:47,460
Sexpressions of Lust?
448
00:22:47,493 --> 00:22:48,895
Please.
449
00:22:54,634 --> 00:22:57,570
Madame Mischief's
Boudoir Secrets.
450
00:22:57,603 --> 00:22:59,639
Maybe it's a historical fiction?
451
00:22:59,672 --> 00:23:01,841
And who doesn't like secrets?
452
00:23:02,508 --> 00:23:05,011
Better get one more for back-up.
453
00:23:06,145 --> 00:23:08,681
Bad Sally.
454
00:23:08,714 --> 00:23:10,583
That can't be right.
455
00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:45,718
Oh god.
456
00:24:03,135 --> 00:24:04,904
Faylene springs from the house
457
00:24:04,937 --> 00:24:07,573
as Michele passionately
gives chase.
458
00:24:07,607 --> 00:24:09,742
Running for her life, Michele
grabs Faylene's wrist
459
00:24:09,775 --> 00:24:15,014
and twirls her until he backs
her into an erect pillar.
460
00:24:15,047 --> 00:24:16,949
He could almost taste
her ruby lips
461
00:24:16,983 --> 00:24:21,988
but Faylene thrusts her knee
into Michele, spins him around.
462
00:24:22,021 --> 00:24:23,022
Seizing the moment,
463
00:24:23,055 --> 00:24:24,657
Faylene pulls out a hidden
pistol sheathed
464
00:24:24,690 --> 00:24:27,894
on her thigh and pulls it
up to his chin.
465
00:24:29,929 --> 00:24:31,564
And then stops.
466
00:24:38,905 --> 00:24:41,007
Michele takes one strong finger
467
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,975
and slowly drags
the pistol downwards.
468
00:24:43,009 --> 00:24:44,944
Faylene watches in wonder
as the cold steel surrenders
469
00:24:44,977 --> 00:24:47,412
to its final destination.
470
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,414
Michele's manhood.
471
00:24:50,483 --> 00:24:54,654
Michele walks his finger across
the barrel and cocks the gun.
472
00:24:54,687 --> 00:24:58,024
Faylene knows what she wants
and she decides to take it.
473
00:25:11,704 --> 00:25:13,472
Whew.
474
00:25:25,651 --> 00:25:27,019
Salt shaker is done.
475
00:25:27,053 --> 00:25:29,021
I can check that off my list.
476
00:25:39,966 --> 00:25:41,968
Hello.
477
00:25:42,001 --> 00:25:46,105
We have chocolate,
mimosas, tissues, sympathy.
478
00:25:46,138 --> 00:25:47,673
Wait, why do you look
so good?
479
00:25:47,707 --> 00:25:48,941
Where did you get
those jeans?
480
00:25:48,975 --> 00:25:49,575
No reason.
481
00:25:49,608 --> 00:25:50,242
Nowhere.
482
00:25:50,276 --> 00:25:52,144
And pity's not why I called.
483
00:25:52,178 --> 00:25:53,913
I told you we need
When Harry Met Sally.
484
00:25:53,946 --> 00:25:54,780
Mmmhmm.
485
00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:56,015
You do chocolates,
I'm on cocktails.
486
00:25:56,048 --> 00:25:57,083
No, really.
487
00:25:57,116 --> 00:25:58,584
I'm fine.
488
00:25:58,617 --> 00:25:59,552
I am.
489
00:25:59,585 --> 00:26:01,087
For, I have renewed life purpose
in the form
490
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,823
of a research project
with which I need your help.
491
00:26:04,857 --> 00:26:05,725
She said research.
492
00:26:05,758 --> 00:26:07,093
She called me for research.
493
00:26:07,126 --> 00:26:07,893
You're losing it.
494
00:26:09,929 --> 00:26:13,099
We're doing number two and the
train is leaving in one minute.
495
00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:18,704
Guys, do you think
I'm gonna need this?
496
00:26:20,072 --> 00:26:21,674
Best break-up ever.
497
00:26:21,707 --> 00:26:23,209
Oh god.
498
00:26:32,918 --> 00:26:37,223
This is your Nissan Leaf,
this is your Mercedes C Class,
499
00:26:37,256 --> 00:26:43,295
and this is the Maserati
of vibrators.
500
00:26:43,329 --> 00:26:48,134
A serious piece of equipment for
only the most experienced user.
501
00:26:48,634 --> 00:26:49,702
Oh.
502
00:26:49,735 --> 00:26:51,570
Sold.
503
00:26:52,571 --> 00:26:55,975
Using it could desensitize
you to men forever.
504
00:26:56,275 --> 00:26:57,743
I'll take one.
505
00:27:05,284 --> 00:27:06,152
Hey, Luce!
506
00:27:06,185 --> 00:27:08,220
I found something for ya.
507
00:27:08,954 --> 00:27:11,057
He doesn't say
irritating things,
508
00:27:11,090 --> 00:27:14,760
he's a feminist, doesn't watch
football, or fart.
509
00:27:14,794 --> 00:27:17,063
Well, none of them do at first.
510
00:27:25,871 --> 00:27:29,775
Can I help you
with that cock ring?
511
00:27:29,809 --> 00:27:30,776
No.
512
00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:31,777
No, I got this.
513
00:27:31,811 --> 00:27:33,312
I was just checking...
514
00:27:34,213 --> 00:27:35,614
Sure.
515
00:27:42,288 --> 00:27:44,023
Everything alright over there?
516
00:27:44,491 --> 00:27:49,028
Sorry, just um...
looking for...
517
00:27:50,796 --> 00:27:52,264
for a Mother's Day gift.
518
00:27:52,298 --> 00:27:53,399
Oh.
519
00:27:53,433 --> 00:27:55,301
You know, I was wondering
what a nice girl like you
520
00:27:55,334 --> 00:27:57,103
was doing in a place
like this.
521
00:27:57,136 --> 00:27:59,738
I could ask you
the same thing.
522
00:27:59,772 --> 00:28:01,207
Go ahead.
523
00:28:03,443 --> 00:28:07,346
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a place like this?
524
00:28:08,013 --> 00:28:08,948
Oh...
525
00:28:12,051 --> 00:28:12,985
Oh!
526
00:28:13,018 --> 00:28:13,919
Busy day you got there.
527
00:28:13,953 --> 00:28:14,753
Oh-
528
00:28:14,787 --> 00:28:15,788
Uh, it's amazing
you have the time
529
00:28:15,821 --> 00:28:20,292
with all the violin playing
and the chanting.
530
00:28:20,326 --> 00:28:21,727
Of course you remember me.
531
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,729
It's not every day I run
into a beautiful girl
532
00:28:23,762 --> 00:28:26,999
with such a propensity
for crouching.
533
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:31,137
Did he actually just use
the word "propensity"?
534
00:28:33,706 --> 00:28:35,074
Oh hey.
535
00:28:35,875 --> 00:28:37,343
Adopted this puppy.
536
00:28:38,244 --> 00:28:40,045
And breakfast is ready.
537
00:28:41,213 --> 00:28:43,115
And the dishes are done.
538
00:28:44,451 --> 00:28:46,952
Hey, you're the best man
from the wedding
539
00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,287
with the pooping horse?
540
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,856
Oh, yeah, I was just
a groomsman.
541
00:28:50,890 --> 00:28:52,825
Oh, well, I'm Nessa.
542
00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:54,293
I was a part of the quartet.
543
00:28:54,326 --> 00:28:56,128
Oh, yeah. You guys
were great.
544
00:28:56,162 --> 00:28:57,796
Thank you.
545
00:28:57,830 --> 00:28:59,432
I play the cello.
546
00:28:59,466 --> 00:29:00,467
Um, yeah.
547
00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:02,968
It's, you know, the big one
between your legs?
548
00:29:03,002 --> 00:29:05,871
Lucy over here,
she plays the violin.
549
00:29:05,905 --> 00:29:08,107
So it's Lucy, is it?
550
00:29:08,140 --> 00:29:10,309
So fancy meeting you here.
551
00:29:10,342 --> 00:29:12,811
What're you doing?
552
00:29:12,845 --> 00:29:14,947
Oh yeah, um, good question.
553
00:29:14,980 --> 00:29:16,715
I'm looking for a Mother's
Day gift.
554
00:29:16,749 --> 00:29:18,751
Oh, really?
555
00:29:18,784 --> 00:29:20,052
Me too.
556
00:29:20,085 --> 00:29:23,822
I mean, I would never be here
for myself.
557
00:29:25,024 --> 00:29:26,459
Or would I?
558
00:29:26,493 --> 00:29:27,726
Nessa.
559
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,763
Uh, I'm actually
an architect.
560
00:29:30,796 --> 00:29:32,031
Paul Goodwin works at my firm.
561
00:29:32,064 --> 00:29:33,265
Right.
562
00:29:33,299 --> 00:29:37,136
Yeah, I vaguely remember him
mentioning something like that.
563
00:29:37,169 --> 00:29:39,038
I'm ah, working on
a job upstairs
564
00:29:39,071 --> 00:29:40,339
to reconfigure
the office space.
565
00:29:40,372 --> 00:29:41,575
Oh.
566
00:29:41,608 --> 00:29:43,342
Not nearly as interesting as
what's going on on that list.
567
00:29:43,375 --> 00:29:44,176
Oh, no.
568
00:29:44,210 --> 00:29:48,080
This is purely a
research project.
569
00:29:48,113 --> 00:29:48,948
Yeah, honestly
I can't help it.
570
00:29:48,981 --> 00:29:53,953
I went to Harvard
so I'm research-y.
571
00:29:53,986 --> 00:29:54,987
Actually, that's where
I met Paul.
572
00:29:55,020 --> 00:29:56,121
Really?
573
00:29:56,155 --> 00:29:59,058
You're using the H-bomb
on the best man?
574
00:29:59,091 --> 00:29:59,858
I just can't.
575
00:29:59,892 --> 00:30:00,859
I'm gonna go talk
to Priscilla.
576
00:30:00,893 --> 00:30:03,062
And wha the hell is up
with your lips, girl?
577
00:30:06,332 --> 00:30:08,167
I'm Grant.
578
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,768
Who works here?
579
00:30:10,269 --> 00:30:11,971
Did I hear you say you
work here?
580
00:30:13,372 --> 00:30:15,374
Why, yes he does.
581
00:30:17,042 --> 00:30:19,111
So does she.
582
00:30:19,144 --> 00:30:21,514
I just wanna find out
if this works.
583
00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:26,085
Actually, sir, I am very
familiar with this product.
584
00:30:26,118 --> 00:30:28,020
It's one of my favourites.
585
00:30:28,053 --> 00:30:30,923
In fact, I've got it on
right now.
586
00:30:31,290 --> 00:30:33,058
What do you mean,
you're wearing it now?
587
00:30:33,092 --> 00:30:34,494
On what?
588
00:30:34,527 --> 00:30:36,161
On my lips.
589
00:30:36,195 --> 00:30:37,396
You put it on your lips?
590
00:30:37,430 --> 00:30:42,268
Uh, Luce, I don't think you put
erection cream on your lips.
591
00:30:42,968 --> 00:30:44,136
Oh my god.
592
00:30:45,838 --> 00:30:46,972
Oh.
593
00:30:47,507 --> 00:30:49,041
Excuse me?
594
00:30:49,074 --> 00:30:51,243
Do these come in extra large?
595
00:30:55,881 --> 00:30:58,884
Got you some ice
from the cafe.
596
00:30:58,917 --> 00:31:00,219
Thanks.
597
00:31:02,154 --> 00:31:08,027
Yeah, I thought your lips
looked a little...
598
00:31:08,060 --> 00:31:10,129
You got a chant for
this sort of thing?
599
00:31:11,297 --> 00:31:12,499
Woah.
600
00:31:15,635 --> 00:31:17,236
Can I have your number?
601
00:31:18,037 --> 00:31:19,138
You want my number?
602
00:31:19,171 --> 00:31:20,473
Yeah.
603
00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:23,576
Wait, really?
604
00:31:23,610 --> 00:31:26,145
I have a gig you might
be interested in playing.
605
00:31:26,945 --> 00:31:28,347
That's awesome.
606
00:31:29,014 --> 00:31:31,984
I'll um, I'll wait out here.
607
00:31:36,556 --> 00:31:37,590
Bye.
608
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:59,211
So his dad co-chairs this annual
insurance commissioner's dinner
609
00:31:59,244 --> 00:32:01,146
and he wants you and me
to walk around
610
00:32:01,180 --> 00:32:03,082
and do the wandering
minstrel thing.
611
00:32:03,115 --> 00:32:04,484
First the wedding
and now this?
612
00:32:04,517 --> 00:32:05,984
Is he your new booking agent?
613
00:32:06,018 --> 00:32:07,953
Excuse me, why not all of us?
614
00:32:07,986 --> 00:32:10,956
Uh, I don't know, but you did
make it a point to tell him
615
00:32:10,989 --> 00:32:12,659
that your legs are pretty
occupied while you play.
616
00:32:13,593 --> 00:32:14,494
Will he be there?
617
00:32:14,527 --> 00:32:15,928
He didn't say.
618
00:32:15,961 --> 00:32:18,997
So, with the exception
of the H-bomb incident,
619
00:32:19,031 --> 00:32:20,999
and putting erection cream
on your lips,
620
00:32:21,033 --> 00:32:22,569
I'd say this was
very successful.
621
00:32:22,602 --> 00:32:25,137
You had a nice conversation
with a handsome man,
622
00:32:25,170 --> 00:32:29,676
we got a gig out of nowhere,
and you got Burt.
623
00:33:21,193 --> 00:33:22,495
Hmm.
624
00:33:29,134 --> 00:33:31,638
You know, after one week of
being broken up with Jeff
625
00:33:31,671 --> 00:33:37,009
after four years of dating and I
cannot believe how great I feel.
626
00:33:37,042 --> 00:33:40,312
Well, what I can't believe is
that we're actually doing this.
627
00:33:40,345 --> 00:33:43,315
Alright, Jersey, how we doin'?
628
00:33:43,348 --> 00:33:45,452
All six of you.
629
00:33:45,485 --> 00:33:46,619
Alright, first thing's first.
630
00:33:46,653 --> 00:33:47,587
I'm gonna go grab us
some drinks.
631
00:33:47,620 --> 00:33:51,023
Alright, now for the sexiest
identical twins
632
00:33:51,056 --> 00:33:53,158
with the hottest dance moves.
633
00:33:53,192 --> 00:33:56,195
Everybody give it up
for Cherry and
634
00:33:56,228 --> 00:33:58,997
♪ ...Dallas. ♪
635
00:33:59,298 --> 00:34:00,265
Dallas!
636
00:34:04,504 --> 00:34:06,639
Hey Wes, can I trouble you
for two beers, mate?
637
00:34:06,673 --> 00:34:07,674
Pretend like you don't
know me.
638
00:34:07,707 --> 00:34:09,107
Brilliant.
639
00:34:10,175 --> 00:34:11,444
Did he say Cherry and Dallas?
640
00:34:11,478 --> 00:34:14,046
You know, this is not
what I expected.
641
00:34:14,079 --> 00:34:14,481
Shh.
642
00:34:14,514 --> 00:34:15,380
Why?
643
00:34:15,414 --> 00:34:16,683
Are you afraid I'm gonna
wake them up?
644
00:34:16,716 --> 00:34:17,717
Oh, come on.
645
00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:19,719
They're performers and
you're talking over them.
646
00:34:19,752 --> 00:34:21,019
Don't be rude.
647
00:34:21,053 --> 00:34:22,087
It's disrespectful.
648
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:22,689
I'm just saying.
649
00:34:22,722 --> 00:34:23,388
Hi, Cynthia.
650
00:34:23,422 --> 00:34:24,524
Loving the hair.
651
00:34:24,557 --> 00:34:25,625
How are you doing tonight?
652
00:34:25,658 --> 00:34:26,358
Hi.
653
00:34:26,391 --> 00:34:27,092
Thank you.
654
00:34:27,125 --> 00:34:28,293
Oh, it's a little cold
in here.
655
00:34:28,327 --> 00:34:28,994
Can I-
656
00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:29,696
Actually, we're totally fine.
657
00:34:29,729 --> 00:34:31,063
Why don't you keep the change?
658
00:34:31,096 --> 00:34:31,764
You know what?
659
00:34:31,798 --> 00:34:32,765
Throw that in for good measure.
660
00:34:32,799 --> 00:34:34,233
Don't embarrass me.
661
00:34:34,266 --> 00:34:36,368
Embarrassment's the least
of your problems.
662
00:34:36,401 --> 00:34:38,070
Ok, I need to level with you.
663
00:34:38,103 --> 00:34:39,338
It's not cold in here.
664
00:34:39,371 --> 00:34:40,405
It's optimal.
665
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,140
Get with the program.
666
00:34:43,743 --> 00:34:45,110
Where are you going?
667
00:34:45,377 --> 00:34:46,613
Getting with the program.
668
00:34:46,646 --> 00:34:47,647
Don't do that!
669
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,314
Lucy, come back, please.
670
00:34:50,249 --> 00:34:51,183
Hi.
671
00:34:51,216 --> 00:34:52,619
Your wife didn't send me here
to spy on you,
672
00:34:52,652 --> 00:34:53,820
I promise.
673
00:34:53,853 --> 00:34:55,153
Don't worry.
674
00:35:02,094 --> 00:35:06,031
I wonder how these girls stay
in such good shape.
675
00:35:07,132 --> 00:35:08,100
Quick question for you.
676
00:35:08,133 --> 00:35:12,472
Do you do pilates or...
oh, wow.
677
00:35:14,674 --> 00:35:17,276
Oh, nice, Luce.
678
00:35:17,309 --> 00:35:19,044
Thank you so much.
679
00:35:29,822 --> 00:35:31,123
Wait a second.
680
00:35:33,125 --> 00:35:35,762
She is totally thinking
about her shopping list.
681
00:35:35,795 --> 00:35:37,162
Ha!
682
00:35:39,899 --> 00:35:41,300
Woo!
683
00:36:10,295 --> 00:36:11,263
Oh.
684
00:36:13,833 --> 00:36:14,801
Ok.
685
00:36:23,810 --> 00:36:26,446
I'm just gonna
see what-
686
00:36:26,479 --> 00:36:27,379
She's trying to take my money!
687
00:36:27,412 --> 00:36:29,381
No, I can't make change?
688
00:36:30,248 --> 00:36:31,316
No, you did not.
689
00:36:31,350 --> 00:36:32,652
What were you thinking?
690
00:36:32,685 --> 00:36:34,887
As pleasing as her
vagina thrusts were,
691
00:36:34,921 --> 00:36:37,155
it just-it was not
a $20 kind of happy.
692
00:36:37,189 --> 00:36:39,525
Welcome to the Pleasure
Palace Party.
693
00:36:39,559 --> 00:36:42,294
We got the dildos,
we got the vibrators,
694
00:36:42,327 --> 00:36:45,665
so look around,
don't be shy.
695
00:36:45,698 --> 00:36:48,233
If you wanna get to the top
of the mountain
696
00:36:48,266 --> 00:36:49,869
you gotta go equipped.
697
00:36:49,902 --> 00:36:51,203
Oh.
698
00:36:52,204 --> 00:36:55,475
I did learn one very important
thing at the strip club.
699
00:36:55,508 --> 00:36:57,409
If naked enough it
doesn't matter
700
00:36:57,443 --> 00:36:58,878
if you can actually dance.
701
00:36:58,911 --> 00:37:01,179
Oh, I know what these are.
702
00:37:01,213 --> 00:37:02,849
People use these for meditating.
703
00:37:03,382 --> 00:37:05,885
No, those are Ben-Wa balls.
704
00:37:05,918 --> 00:37:07,520
50 Shades?
705
00:37:07,553 --> 00:37:08,521
Book two?
706
00:37:08,554 --> 00:37:10,188
Ben who?
707
00:37:10,723 --> 00:37:13,459
You take two of those,
you stick 'em up your lady,
708
00:37:13,493 --> 00:37:17,195
and just hold them for
a couple of hours, ok?
709
00:37:17,897 --> 00:37:19,398
Wait, what?
710
00:37:19,432 --> 00:37:20,099
Oh my god.
711
00:37:20,133 --> 00:37:21,901
Those are for Kegel exercises.
712
00:37:21,934 --> 00:37:24,202
You could do 'em in the car.
713
00:37:24,671 --> 00:37:26,873
Shit, I'm doing them right now.
714
00:37:26,906 --> 00:37:29,909
Experience intense natural
pleasure as each weighted ball
715
00:37:29,942 --> 00:37:31,711
rolls and moves with you
to give you
716
00:37:31,744 --> 00:37:35,448
a mind-blowing
internal massage.
717
00:37:35,481 --> 00:37:40,887
Now, you're gonna sculpt
a banana into a penis
718
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,855
with your teeth.
719
00:37:46,358 --> 00:37:47,292
Catch that!
720
00:37:47,325 --> 00:37:49,394
Oh yeah, get that banana.
721
00:37:49,429 --> 00:37:52,397
Well, I'll never look at a
banana the same way again.
722
00:37:52,799 --> 00:37:54,399
And neither will Paul.
723
00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:55,935
Sex toy party.
724
00:37:55,968 --> 00:37:56,936
Check.
725
00:38:17,790 --> 00:38:18,958
Wait, why'd you stop?
726
00:38:18,991 --> 00:38:21,594
Uh, nothing.
727
00:38:21,627 --> 00:38:22,695
Nothing.
728
00:38:22,729 --> 00:38:25,965
I think I just... I really need
to go to the bathroom.
729
00:38:25,998 --> 00:38:26,866
Oh my, well go!
730
00:38:26,899 --> 00:38:28,735
It's right down there.
731
00:38:30,536 --> 00:38:33,973
I don't think I can
make it that far.
732
00:38:34,006 --> 00:38:34,941
Oh god.
733
00:38:34,974 --> 00:38:35,842
It's gonna come out.
734
00:38:35,875 --> 00:38:36,709
What is?
735
00:38:41,413 --> 00:38:42,347
Not a word.
736
00:38:42,615 --> 00:38:43,883
Not a word.
737
00:38:44,550 --> 00:38:46,351
Uh-uh.
738
00:38:47,419 --> 00:38:48,554
Ok.
739
00:38:48,588 --> 00:38:49,287
Oh.
740
00:38:49,321 --> 00:38:49,989
Oh!
741
00:38:50,022 --> 00:38:51,356
I don't think I can bend over.
742
00:38:51,389 --> 00:38:52,558
Because there's a second one?
743
00:38:52,592 --> 00:38:52,992
Three.
744
00:38:53,025 --> 00:38:53,960
Oh!
745
00:38:53,993 --> 00:38:54,727
There are three more.
746
00:38:54,761 --> 00:38:56,929
I bought two boxes.
747
00:38:57,563 --> 00:38:58,831
I see.
748
00:38:58,865 --> 00:38:59,832
For Kegels.
749
00:38:59,866 --> 00:39:01,366
Say no more.
750
00:39:03,970 --> 00:39:05,204
I need you to pick it up.
751
00:39:05,238 --> 00:39:07,372
You know, I didn't think there
were limits to our friendship.
752
00:39:07,405 --> 00:39:08,674
I realize it's just not true.
753
00:39:08,708 --> 00:39:09,942
Oh, this is not funny.
754
00:39:09,976 --> 00:39:10,810
It's not funny, ok?
755
00:39:10,843 --> 00:39:13,513
I only wore these
to a work function
756
00:39:13,546 --> 00:39:15,715
because I knew we would
be standing for three hours
757
00:39:15,748 --> 00:39:18,885
and, you know,
I wanted to tone.
758
00:39:20,987 --> 00:39:22,021
Stop!
759
00:39:22,054 --> 00:39:23,055
Stop, ok?
760
00:39:23,089 --> 00:39:25,057
If you make me laugh another
ball will pop out.
761
00:39:25,091 --> 00:39:26,793
Oh god, I'm so...
762
00:39:26,826 --> 00:39:27,927
I need help here. Please.
763
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:29,495
Ok, ok. Let's go.
764
00:39:33,065 --> 00:39:33,800
What was that?
765
00:39:33,833 --> 00:39:35,001
I don't know.
766
00:39:35,034 --> 00:39:37,737
When I walk my legs just
sort of rub together
767
00:39:37,770 --> 00:39:39,038
and I'm already so, so-
768
00:39:39,071 --> 00:39:40,740
oh my god, I might-
769
00:39:40,773 --> 00:39:41,373
Hallelujah?
770
00:39:41,406 --> 00:39:42,108
Yeah.
771
00:39:42,141 --> 00:39:44,342
Ok, we're gonna
have to risk it.
772
00:39:44,376 --> 00:39:45,912
Lucy, if you do this
while holding my hand
773
00:39:45,945 --> 00:39:47,547
this friendship will
never be the same.
774
00:39:47,580 --> 00:39:49,381
Ladies, you look like
you're having a good night.
775
00:39:49,414 --> 00:39:50,917
Some of us more than others.
776
00:39:50,950 --> 00:39:51,918
Hi.
777
00:39:51,951 --> 00:39:52,952
What're you doing here?
778
00:39:52,985 --> 00:39:54,386
Oh, seeing my dad.
779
00:39:54,419 --> 00:39:56,589
He's on the board
with the trust.
780
00:39:56,989 --> 00:39:58,423
It's irrelevant.
781
00:39:58,457 --> 00:39:59,458
Now I'm seeing you.
782
00:39:59,492 --> 00:40:00,960
Have you met Priscilla?
783
00:40:00,993 --> 00:40:01,861
No, how are you?
784
00:40:01,894 --> 00:40:02,895
The leader of our quartet.
785
00:40:02,929 --> 00:40:05,898
My dear friend, who always
comes to my rescue.
786
00:40:05,932 --> 00:40:07,633
Oh, you need a lot of that?
787
00:40:07,667 --> 00:40:09,602
No, not at all,
but even still,
788
00:40:09,635 --> 00:40:12,038
she's just always waiting
for the other ball to drop.
789
00:40:12,071 --> 00:40:14,339
I mean shoe.
790
00:40:16,108 --> 00:40:17,610
Is it hot in here?
791
00:40:17,643 --> 00:40:18,578
Yeah, it is.
792
00:40:18,611 --> 00:40:19,779
Hmm.
793
00:40:19,812 --> 00:40:23,082
Um, I see someone that I...
794
00:40:23,115 --> 00:40:24,517
I don't see anyone.
795
00:40:24,550 --> 00:40:26,752
I'm just getting
out of the way.
796
00:40:29,455 --> 00:40:30,556
Are you tired?
797
00:40:30,590 --> 00:40:31,389
Am I tired?
798
00:40:31,423 --> 00:40:33,025
Yeah, you seem a bit
out of breath.
799
00:40:33,059 --> 00:40:34,026
Mmm-mmm.
800
00:40:34,060 --> 00:40:35,027
Mmm-mmm.
801
00:40:35,061 --> 00:40:38,064
No, I just sort of get
that way when I play.
802
00:40:38,097 --> 00:40:39,165
Oh, I get it.
803
00:40:39,198 --> 00:40:41,067
You're amazing.
804
00:40:42,735 --> 00:40:43,870
Sweet Jesus.
805
00:40:44,136 --> 00:40:45,504
Oh, what was that?
806
00:40:45,538 --> 00:40:46,038
Hmm?
807
00:40:46,072 --> 00:40:47,173
That.
808
00:40:47,206 --> 00:40:51,077
No, my back just gets that way
when I stand and play.
809
00:40:51,110 --> 00:40:52,377
Alright.
810
00:40:54,547 --> 00:40:55,648
Are you cold?
811
00:40:55,681 --> 00:40:56,414
Mmmhmm.
812
00:40:56,449 --> 00:40:57,049
Yeah.
813
00:40:57,083 --> 00:40:58,117
Oh, let's get you moving.
814
00:40:58,150 --> 00:40:58,918
Oh.
815
00:40:58,951 --> 00:41:00,019
Come on.
816
00:41:04,957 --> 00:41:06,492
Ah.
817
00:41:06,926 --> 00:41:07,960
You ok?
818
00:41:07,994 --> 00:41:09,028
Yeah.
819
00:41:09,061 --> 00:41:10,563
Yeah.
820
00:41:10,596 --> 00:41:12,131
Just warming up a little.
821
00:41:14,166 --> 00:41:15,835
If I didn't know better,
822
00:41:15,868 --> 00:41:17,203
your lips look beautifully
deflated this evening.
823
00:41:21,674 --> 00:41:24,010
Women don't usually
find me funny.
824
00:41:24,510 --> 00:41:26,746
It's my pleasure.
825
00:41:27,013 --> 00:41:28,014
Truly.
826
00:41:28,915 --> 00:41:29,682
Oh.
827
00:41:30,716 --> 00:41:31,784
Oh.
828
00:41:32,985 --> 00:41:34,453
Oh, what was that?
829
00:41:34,487 --> 00:41:35,154
What was what?
830
00:41:35,187 --> 00:41:36,489
Something just hit my foot.
831
00:41:36,522 --> 00:41:37,123
Is that a bird?
832
00:41:37,156 --> 00:41:38,124
There's a bird?
833
00:41:39,225 --> 00:41:41,060
Nope. Nope.
834
00:41:41,093 --> 00:41:42,194
Sorry, my mistake.
835
00:41:42,228 --> 00:41:42,929
Weird.
836
00:41:42,962 --> 00:41:43,996
Anyway.
837
00:41:44,030 --> 00:41:44,897
Hmm?
838
00:41:44,931 --> 00:41:45,898
I was thinking...
839
00:41:45,932 --> 00:41:46,465
Yeah?
840
00:41:46,499 --> 00:41:47,466
If you're not too busy-
841
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:48,034
Never.
842
00:41:48,067 --> 00:41:48,834
Or too hot.
843
00:41:48,868 --> 00:41:49,468
Would you like to-
844
00:41:49,502 --> 00:41:50,169
Yes.
845
00:41:50,202 --> 00:41:50,937
Have dinner with me?
846
00:41:50,970 --> 00:41:52,238
Dear god, yes!
847
00:42:03,082 --> 00:42:04,884
So you call me up out of
the blue to ask me
848
00:42:04,917 --> 00:42:05,885
how good you were in bed?
849
00:42:05,918 --> 00:42:06,686
Mmmhmm.
850
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:07,687
Out of a percentage
out of 100.
851
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:11,824
But if you must, I will accept
a letter grade.
852
00:42:14,660 --> 00:42:16,028
Did you meet someone?
853
00:42:16,062 --> 00:42:16,896
What?
854
00:42:16,929 --> 00:42:17,830
No.
855
00:42:18,097 --> 00:42:18,898
No.
856
00:42:18,931 --> 00:42:19,699
I was just wondering-
857
00:42:19,732 --> 00:42:21,033
You did.
858
00:42:21,067 --> 00:42:24,103
You're seeing someone.
859
00:42:24,136 --> 00:42:25,237
Yeah, I am.
860
00:42:25,271 --> 00:42:26,038
I'm sorry.
861
00:42:26,072 --> 00:42:27,039
It's very new-
862
00:42:27,073 --> 00:42:27,673
No, no.
863
00:42:27,707 --> 00:42:29,208
It's a-I'm relieved, ok?
864
00:42:29,241 --> 00:42:34,947
'Cause I'm... I'm also seeing
someone else, too.
865
00:42:34,981 --> 00:42:35,815
You are?
866
00:42:35,848 --> 00:42:37,083
Yeah.
867
00:42:37,116 --> 00:42:37,750
Huh.
868
00:42:37,783 --> 00:42:39,018
Wow.
869
00:42:41,287 --> 00:42:42,221
Halloween.
870
00:42:42,254 --> 00:42:42,788
Yeah.
871
00:42:42,822 --> 00:42:44,623
Right after we broke up.
872
00:42:44,657 --> 00:42:48,227
Oh, or is that how she dresses
all the time?
873
00:42:48,260 --> 00:42:49,996
That's funny.
874
00:42:50,029 --> 00:42:52,064
I miss your sense of humour.
875
00:42:52,865 --> 00:42:54,767
Is that-I'm sorry, is that bad
for me to say
876
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,902
that I miss something
about you?
877
00:42:59,138 --> 00:43:03,042
Uh... so, how are the-
how's your lists coming?
878
00:43:03,075 --> 00:43:05,077
Oh, very well, thank you.
879
00:43:05,111 --> 00:43:06,912
Yeah, after the porn thing
880
00:43:06,946 --> 00:43:09,615
I made a list that's
all about sex.
881
00:43:09,648 --> 00:43:15,621
And I recently went to both
a porn shop and a strip club.
882
00:43:18,124 --> 00:43:19,025
What?
883
00:43:19,058 --> 00:43:19,992
You-no, you're...
884
00:43:20,026 --> 00:43:21,327
you're hilarious.
885
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:26,866
You see, this-you, us
being friends, this rocks.
886
00:43:26,899 --> 00:43:28,200
Yeah, it's great.
887
00:43:28,234 --> 00:43:31,003
Uh, but, sex with me.
888
00:43:31,037 --> 00:43:32,304
How was it?
889
00:43:32,338 --> 00:43:33,572
Oh, right.
890
00:43:33,606 --> 00:43:38,010
Um... it was fine.
891
00:43:38,044 --> 00:43:40,713
Jeff, literally choose
any letter.
892
00:43:40,746 --> 00:43:41,881
Ok, uh, geez.
893
00:43:41,914 --> 00:43:44,683
Uh... like A through F,
right?
894
00:43:44,717 --> 00:43:45,551
Yes.
895
00:43:46,185 --> 00:43:47,620
Ok.
896
00:43:47,653 --> 00:43:50,756
Uh, you are a...
897
00:43:54,994 --> 00:43:56,695
D.
898
00:43:56,729 --> 00:43:57,797
It's in room D.
899
00:43:57,830 --> 00:43:58,532
Are you sure?
900
00:43:58,564 --> 00:43:59,999
It doesn't say
"sex seminar".
901
00:44:00,032 --> 00:44:02,034
They're not gonna
call it that.
902
00:44:02,068 --> 00:44:03,002
It's this one.
903
00:44:03,035 --> 00:44:03,936
It has to be.
904
00:44:03,969 --> 00:44:05,237
Come on.
905
00:44:09,041 --> 00:44:13,746
Proficiency in sex is a must.
906
00:44:13,779 --> 00:44:18,751
It is the universal language
of humanity.
907
00:44:20,653 --> 00:44:21,687
You're tardy.
908
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:22,354
Take a seat.
909
00:44:22,388 --> 00:44:23,389
Did you invite her?
910
00:44:23,422 --> 00:44:25,091
No.
911
00:44:25,124 --> 00:44:27,226
What could she have to learn?
912
00:44:28,528 --> 00:44:32,865
To walk around speaking slang
is to be ignorant to one's self.
913
00:44:32,898 --> 00:44:33,732
What're you doing here?
914
00:44:33,766 --> 00:44:35,301
I just came here to do research
for you.
915
00:44:35,334 --> 00:44:39,071
Number one miscommunication
slang speakers make
916
00:44:39,105 --> 00:44:42,975
is to think of it as a
male-centric activity.
917
00:44:43,008 --> 00:44:44,743
That is, they think about
when men intercourse
918
00:44:44,777 --> 00:44:47,413
with women that it's
all about the guy.
919
00:44:47,447 --> 00:44:48,314
Wrong!
920
00:44:48,347 --> 00:44:49,348
Wrong!!
921
00:44:49,381 --> 00:44:50,616
Wrong!
922
00:44:50,649 --> 00:44:53,953
From this moment on you will
refer to sexual communication
923
00:44:53,986 --> 00:44:59,091
as the gift that you will
give to only a worthy man,
924
00:44:59,125 --> 00:45:05,998
from you, the soon to be
supremely empowered woman!
925
00:45:13,973 --> 00:45:16,308
Oh, hit-oh wow,
you are tense.
926
00:45:16,342 --> 00:45:18,043
Yeah, I don't think
smacking it
927
00:45:18,077 --> 00:45:19,712
like that is part
of the technique.
928
00:45:19,745 --> 00:45:23,782
Kale, he left me for someone
his own age so I'm just-
929
00:45:23,816 --> 00:45:25,784
I can't deal with men right now.
930
00:45:25,818 --> 00:45:28,020
Oh, Nessa, I'm so sorry.
931
00:45:28,053 --> 00:45:29,989
Here.
932
00:45:30,022 --> 00:45:31,423
I'm gonna help you.
933
00:45:31,458 --> 00:45:33,259
Ok?
934
00:45:33,292 --> 00:45:37,163
It's like we're in Ghost
and you're my Patrick Swayze.
935
00:45:37,196 --> 00:45:41,000
Oh, of course you get
to be Demi Moore.
936
00:45:41,033 --> 00:45:43,068
It takes a village.
937
00:46:10,362 --> 00:46:13,232
Ok, so five weeks until my
audition for the Philharmonic-
938
00:46:13,265 --> 00:46:17,269
I'm not getting any better,
am I?
939
00:46:17,303 --> 00:46:19,872
No, you're really not.
940
00:46:19,905 --> 00:46:21,006
What?
941
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,942
'Cause you're already a genius.
942
00:46:22,975 --> 00:46:24,977
Well, it's true,
and you know it.
943
00:46:25,010 --> 00:46:30,883
You just gotta get
out of there.
944
00:46:30,916 --> 00:46:33,953
Did you know that the female
ferret will die if she goes
945
00:46:33,986 --> 00:46:36,188
into heat and can't find
a mate?
946
00:46:36,222 --> 00:46:38,757
Jeff was the rodent,
not you.
947
00:46:38,791 --> 00:46:39,992
What about the best man?
948
00:46:40,025 --> 00:46:40,960
Groomsman.
949
00:46:40,993 --> 00:46:42,094
Hasn't he called?
950
00:46:42,127 --> 00:46:43,862
You really should ask Paul
what his story is because-
951
00:46:43,896 --> 00:46:46,098
No. No, he did.
952
00:46:46,131 --> 00:46:48,133
We're going out on Saturday.
953
00:46:48,167 --> 00:46:48,968
You are?!
954
00:46:49,001 --> 00:46:49,902
Oh.
955
00:46:49,935 --> 00:46:50,402
That's wonderful!
956
00:46:50,437 --> 00:46:51,270
Oh.
957
00:46:51,303 --> 00:46:53,072
You're at a ten.
958
00:46:53,105 --> 00:46:54,306
Well, what are your plans?
959
00:46:54,340 --> 00:46:56,809
I mean, you could do
a dinner cruise.
960
00:46:56,842 --> 00:46:58,877
Oh, a hot air balloon.
961
00:46:58,911 --> 00:47:00,913
What is with you today?
962
00:47:00,946 --> 00:47:02,449
Nothing, I'm just happy
for you.
963
00:47:02,482 --> 00:47:05,351
Oh... what are those?
964
00:47:05,384 --> 00:47:07,052
Stan got me diamonds.
965
00:47:07,086 --> 00:47:08,354
Oh my god.
966
00:47:08,387 --> 00:47:10,089
Was it the seminar?
967
00:47:10,122 --> 00:47:13,125
I have a sex life again
after 27 years.
968
00:47:13,158 --> 00:47:16,262
Stan and I are doing it like
high school kids on prom night.
969
00:47:16,295 --> 00:47:18,797
Oh, so meaning it's over
in five minutes
970
00:47:18,831 --> 00:47:19,965
and you get nothing out of it.
971
00:47:19,999 --> 00:47:22,968
Except a bad reputation.
972
00:47:23,002 --> 00:47:24,403
Anyway, enough about me.
973
00:47:24,437 --> 00:47:26,071
Why aren't you thrilled
about the best man?
974
00:47:26,105 --> 00:47:27,206
I am.
975
00:47:27,239 --> 00:47:30,976
I... don't you think he's
a little out of my league?
976
00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:33,245
I'm not even gonna dignify
that question.
977
00:47:33,279 --> 00:47:35,881
You're just afraid to get back
on the horse.
978
00:47:35,914 --> 00:47:37,816
Lucy, it's like riding a bike.
979
00:47:37,850 --> 00:47:41,387
Or maybe a pogo stick.
980
00:47:41,420 --> 00:47:43,556
I'm just freaking out
because in my effort to be
981
00:47:43,590 --> 00:47:47,594
supremely empowered I insisted
on planning the date.
982
00:47:47,627 --> 00:47:50,896
And I've got nothing.
983
00:47:50,929 --> 00:47:54,099
Well, if you're interested,
Stan got us two tickets
984
00:47:54,133 --> 00:47:56,603
to the Dr. Becker taping
on Saturday night.
985
00:47:56,636 --> 00:47:57,936
VIP seats.
986
00:47:57,970 --> 00:47:59,271
Which is...?
987
00:47:59,305 --> 00:48:01,441
She's a sex expert.
988
00:48:01,474 --> 00:48:03,275
I showed Stan the list.
989
00:48:03,309 --> 00:48:05,077
He got very inspired.
990
00:48:05,110 --> 00:48:07,313
Anyway, if I promised to make it
worth his while
991
00:48:07,346 --> 00:48:11,016
I'm sure I can get him
to stay at home.
992
00:48:11,050 --> 00:48:15,054
Ok, if I promise to take
the tickets
993
00:48:15,087 --> 00:48:16,855
do you promise to never talk
about you and Stan
994
00:48:16,889 --> 00:48:19,526
sexually communicating
ever again?
995
00:48:19,559 --> 00:48:20,259
Deal.
996
00:48:20,292 --> 00:48:21,193
Ok.
997
00:48:21,226 --> 00:48:22,328
Can I just tell you one thing?
998
00:48:22,361 --> 00:48:23,128
Alright, yes.
999
00:48:23,162 --> 00:48:24,897
I'm gonna get my labia
tightened.
1000
00:48:33,038 --> 00:48:35,874
What do you think about
oyster shooters?
1001
00:48:35,908 --> 00:48:40,946
Mmm, aren't oysters more
of a third date kind of food?
1002
00:48:40,979 --> 00:48:43,282
Yes, good point.
1003
00:48:43,315 --> 00:48:45,084
It's not like you're taking me
to a sex show.
1004
00:48:45,117 --> 00:48:47,886
Lecture by a progressive,
1005
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,523
world renowned researcher
who went to Yale.
1006
00:48:50,557 --> 00:48:54,093
Which is definitely
not Harvard.
1007
00:48:54,126 --> 00:48:56,228
But she happens to be discussing
human sexuality and I-
1008
00:48:56,261 --> 00:48:59,131
I know, I know, consult
an expert is on your list.
1009
00:48:59,164 --> 00:49:00,933
I'm messing with you.
1010
00:49:00,966 --> 00:49:04,169
And just because we're going
to a lecture like this
1011
00:49:04,203 --> 00:49:07,206
doesn't make me a sure thing,
you know.
1012
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:08,675
Me neither.
1013
00:49:08,708 --> 00:49:10,309
Good.
1014
00:49:10,342 --> 00:49:13,613
Wouldn't want you getting
the wrong idea.
1015
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:16,415
What idea might that be?
1016
00:49:16,449 --> 00:49:19,385
I don't know, I just wouldn't
want you misinterpreting
1017
00:49:19,418 --> 00:49:25,658
my list, 'cause I'm really
not that kind of girl.
1018
00:49:25,692 --> 00:49:29,128
And what kind of girl
are you?
1019
00:49:29,161 --> 00:49:33,265
That's for me to know
and for you to wonder.
1020
00:49:36,503 --> 00:49:38,605
Ok, well now I'm gonna ask you
a bunch of things
1021
00:49:38,638 --> 00:49:41,173
so I can make a meaningful
snap judgement about you
1022
00:49:41,206 --> 00:49:42,174
without being distracted
1023
00:49:42,207 --> 00:49:46,345
by all your charming,
attractive... you-ness.
1024
00:49:46,378 --> 00:49:48,947
Is this where you ask me
for my tax return?
1025
00:49:48,981 --> 00:49:50,450
'Cause I didn't bring it.
1026
00:49:50,483 --> 00:49:52,685
Uh, no.
1027
00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:55,455
I was just gonna ask you what
your favourite book was.
1028
00:49:55,488 --> 00:49:57,055
Um, sorry.
1029
00:49:57,089 --> 00:49:59,258
My last girlfriend did that
on the first date.
1030
00:49:59,291 --> 00:50:03,128
And you still ended up
dating her?
1031
00:50:03,162 --> 00:50:04,664
Oh.
1032
00:50:04,697 --> 00:50:05,732
Alright, yeah.
1033
00:50:05,765 --> 00:50:08,300
Your last girlfriend must have
been a supermodel.
1034
00:50:08,333 --> 00:50:10,637
She was a model, yes,
but super, no.
1035
00:50:10,670 --> 00:50:11,571
Definitely not.
1036
00:50:11,604 --> 00:50:13,138
And she's certainly not
Harvard material.
1037
00:50:13,172 --> 00:50:15,040
Ah.
1038
00:50:15,073 --> 00:50:19,178
Well, as an artist, I do not
require financial documentation.
1039
00:50:19,211 --> 00:50:21,113
Being well kept doesn't really
apply to me.
1040
00:50:21,146 --> 00:50:24,049
And yet you seem to be
kept very well.
1041
00:50:26,519 --> 00:50:27,454
That is corny.
1042
00:50:29,154 --> 00:50:30,989
Uh, let's do the books.
1043
00:50:31,023 --> 00:50:32,024
I have two.
1044
00:50:32,057 --> 00:50:33,058
I also have two favourites.
1045
00:50:33,091 --> 00:50:33,760
Ladies first.
1046
00:50:33,793 --> 00:50:34,661
Nope.
1047
00:50:34,694 --> 00:50:35,227
Huh?
1048
00:50:35,260 --> 00:50:37,095
No. I asked you first.
1049
00:50:37,129 --> 00:50:39,164
Revealing book love is
a very personal thing.
1050
00:50:39,198 --> 00:50:40,165
I know.
1051
00:50:40,199 --> 00:50:44,002
That's why it's my stock first
date question.
1052
00:50:44,036 --> 00:50:47,172
It's gonna tell me everything
I need to know about you.
1053
00:50:47,206 --> 00:50:49,642
Are you sure you wanna know?
1054
00:50:49,676 --> 00:50:51,611
Yeah, you're right.
1055
00:50:51,644 --> 00:50:54,379
It could be the end of something
good before it even starts.
1056
00:50:54,413 --> 00:50:57,617
Or it could be the start of
something good that doesn't end.
1057
00:50:59,586 --> 00:51:01,253
What the hell's
in this drink?
1058
00:51:03,656 --> 00:51:04,657
Ok, alright.
1059
00:51:04,691 --> 00:51:06,325
Let's just state our books.
1060
00:51:06,358 --> 00:51:07,192
Yep.
1061
00:51:07,226 --> 00:51:09,061
And let's get this ship
to sinking, ok?
1062
00:51:09,094 --> 00:51:10,162
Please.
1063
00:51:10,195 --> 00:51:11,029
Alright.
1064
00:51:11,063 --> 00:51:12,030
Yeah. At the same time,
count of three?
1065
00:51:12,064 --> 00:51:12,465
Yes.
1066
00:51:12,499 --> 00:51:13,098
Alright.
1067
00:51:13,131 --> 00:51:13,666
Ok.
1068
00:51:13,700 --> 00:51:15,502
One, two, three.
1069
00:51:15,535 --> 00:51:16,569
"Everything That Rises
Must Converge",
1070
00:51:16,603 --> 00:51:17,804
and "The Story of Your Life."
1071
00:51:17,837 --> 00:51:18,738
"The Story of Your Life"
1072
00:51:18,771 --> 00:51:21,373
and "Everything That Rises
Must Converge".
1073
00:51:22,241 --> 00:51:24,042
Well, you like them in
the wrong order.
1074
00:51:24,076 --> 00:51:26,044
Yeah. It's definitely
not gonna work.
1075
00:51:36,723 --> 00:51:38,591
This is the Dr. Becker show?
1076
00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:40,158
Yeah. Hi, welcome.
1077
00:51:40,192 --> 00:51:41,326
Hi.
1078
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:45,698
Oh, uh, will Dr. Becker
be out soon?
1079
00:51:45,732 --> 00:51:48,200
That is Dr. Becker.
1080
00:51:48,233 --> 00:51:49,067
Alright, let's get everybody
in their seats now-
1081
00:51:49,101 --> 00:51:53,205
Wait, she's a Magna Cum
Laude Yale PhD?
1082
00:51:53,238 --> 00:51:54,607
Follow me.
1083
00:51:54,641 --> 00:51:56,709
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
1084
00:51:56,743 --> 00:51:58,778
The show is about to start.
1085
00:51:58,811 --> 00:52:03,248
Dr. Becker, you're on
in three, two...
1086
00:52:05,117 --> 00:52:07,119
Ok.
1087
00:52:07,152 --> 00:52:09,221
I am so sorry.
I had no idea-
1088
00:52:09,254 --> 00:52:10,322
Are you kidding me?
1089
00:52:10,355 --> 00:52:13,593
This is the most interesting
date I have ever gone on
1090
00:52:13,626 --> 00:52:14,627
in my entire life.
1091
00:52:14,661 --> 00:52:15,628
Welcome.
1092
00:52:15,662 --> 00:52:20,165
Tonight's guest is both
a true pleasure to have
1093
00:52:20,198 --> 00:52:23,469
and a departure from my usual
science-based approach
1094
00:52:23,503 --> 00:52:25,805
to sexual enlightenment.
1095
00:52:25,838 --> 00:52:28,608
Science was nothing like
this where I went to school.
1096
00:52:28,641 --> 00:52:29,876
Really?
1097
00:52:29,909 --> 00:52:32,144
I thought boarding schools were
known for sexual enlightenment.
1098
00:52:32,177 --> 00:52:35,113
Please help me welcome
Madam Swarovska,
1099
00:52:35,147 --> 00:52:37,249
world-renowned sexual psychic.
1100
00:52:39,151 --> 00:52:40,053
What's a sexual psychic?
1101
00:52:40,085 --> 00:52:42,354
Someone who can do
the pull and pray method
1102
00:52:42,387 --> 00:52:44,256
of birth control?
1103
00:52:45,658 --> 00:52:46,659
You snorted.
1104
00:52:46,693 --> 00:52:47,894
Ok, I'm leaving.
1105
00:52:47,927 --> 00:52:49,862
That one.
1106
00:52:49,896 --> 00:52:51,330
She suffers.
1107
00:52:51,363 --> 00:52:52,364
Oh?
1108
00:52:57,169 --> 00:52:58,403
Oh.
1109
00:52:58,438 --> 00:52:59,672
Madame Swarovska,
1110
00:52:59,706 --> 00:53:02,341
can you explain to our audience
what it is that you're doing?
1111
00:53:02,374 --> 00:53:03,910
And me, would be nice.
1112
00:53:03,943 --> 00:53:07,379
I am assessing the aura.
1113
00:53:07,412 --> 00:53:11,183
Seeing what colours
surround her.
1114
00:53:11,216 --> 00:53:13,318
Sounds lovely.
Thank you.
1115
00:53:13,352 --> 00:53:16,623
For most people, yes.
For you, no.
1116
00:53:16,656 --> 00:53:19,391
For you, is grey.
1117
00:53:19,424 --> 00:53:20,793
Grey?
1118
00:53:20,827 --> 00:53:22,895
Are you saying that
she's sexually...
1119
00:53:22,929 --> 00:53:24,196
Grey!
1120
00:53:24,229 --> 00:53:25,665
Yes.
1121
00:53:25,698 --> 00:53:30,168
Well, lucky for me
neutrals are in for fall.
1122
00:53:30,202 --> 00:53:32,170
You know, we can go
like five minutes ago.
1123
00:53:32,204 --> 00:53:33,205
No, no, this is awesome.
1124
00:53:33,238 --> 00:53:34,073
This is great.
1125
00:53:34,107 --> 00:53:36,208
How about we get you on
stage, Miss...?
1126
00:53:36,241 --> 00:53:37,644
Uh, Lu...
1127
00:53:38,945 --> 00:53:40,480
Lulu-bell.
1128
00:53:41,514 --> 00:53:43,950
Well, come on up
here, Lulu-bell,
1129
00:53:43,983 --> 00:53:46,653
so Madame Swarovska
can read you.
1130
00:53:46,686 --> 00:53:47,920
Come on.
1131
00:53:48,921 --> 00:53:50,590
You're safe.
1132
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:59,732
Yes, the grey one is in deep
struggle with the sex.
1133
00:53:59,766 --> 00:54:01,333
I often discuss a condition
1134
00:54:01,366 --> 00:54:04,202
called sexual attention
deficit disorder.
1135
00:54:04,236 --> 00:54:05,538
SADD.
1136
00:54:05,571 --> 00:54:07,507
Sad, for short.
1137
00:54:07,540 --> 00:54:09,742
Which involves frequent
mental wanderings
1138
00:54:09,776 --> 00:54:13,311
of a non-sexual nature
during intercourse.
1139
00:54:13,345 --> 00:54:14,480
Might that be what-
1140
00:54:14,514 --> 00:54:17,917
Yes, but also lack
of experience.
1141
00:54:19,485 --> 00:54:24,791
Oh, trust me, I-I have plenty
of experience.
1142
00:54:27,493 --> 00:54:29,394
The cards say no.
1143
00:54:29,429 --> 00:54:30,697
No, I assure you.
1144
00:54:30,730 --> 00:54:32,397
I know what I'm doing.
1145
00:54:32,432 --> 00:54:33,933
The cards say no.
1146
00:54:37,302 --> 00:54:38,838
Oh, I see.
1147
00:54:38,871 --> 00:54:42,909
You are very old when
you are first having sex.
1148
00:54:42,942 --> 00:54:44,877
Surely you mean old enough.
1149
00:54:44,911 --> 00:54:46,879
No, I mean old.
1150
00:54:46,913 --> 00:54:48,548
Oh.
1151
00:54:49,247 --> 00:54:53,453
Oh, old is why you are only
having sex with four people?
1152
00:54:53,486 --> 00:54:55,287
Is that true?
1153
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:56,723
Four?
1154
00:54:56,756 --> 00:54:57,657
No.
1155
00:54:57,690 --> 00:54:58,491
No?
1156
00:54:58,524 --> 00:54:59,158
Well, yeah.
1157
00:54:59,192 --> 00:55:00,526
But what's wrong with that?
1158
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:02,862
Oh, one does not count.
1159
00:55:02,895 --> 00:55:09,902
It ends uh, how you say...
prematurely.
1160
00:55:13,906 --> 00:55:15,975
Oh, that one looks promising.
1161
00:55:16,008 --> 00:55:19,979
Yeah, when is upright yes,
but for you is reverse.
1162
00:55:20,012 --> 00:55:20,813
Oh.
1163
00:55:20,847 --> 00:55:22,915
Oh.
1164
00:55:22,949 --> 00:55:24,282
Grey one.
1165
00:55:24,316 --> 00:55:25,084
Yeah?
1166
00:55:25,118 --> 00:55:27,385
You're not having
the big booms?
1167
00:55:27,419 --> 00:55:29,722
What?
1168
00:55:29,756 --> 00:55:32,558
The big booms.
1169
00:55:32,592 --> 00:55:34,994
The rolling thunder.
1170
00:55:35,027 --> 00:55:37,530
The crotch magic,
you know?
1171
00:55:37,563 --> 00:55:39,565
Like, oh yeah, baby.
1172
00:55:39,599 --> 00:55:40,398
I love it!
1173
00:55:40,433 --> 00:55:41,266
You know?
1174
00:55:41,299 --> 00:55:42,969
Like, woah Nealy gets
really crazy,
1175
00:55:43,002 --> 00:55:44,369
that kind of sex.
1176
00:55:44,402 --> 00:55:46,973
Like uh, like magic time.
1177
00:55:47,006 --> 00:55:48,306
Like crotch magic.
1178
00:55:48,340 --> 00:55:49,809
Blast it off.
1179
00:55:49,842 --> 00:55:51,644
Blast up inside, you know?
1180
00:55:51,677 --> 00:55:53,045
I can't handle it anymore!
1181
00:55:53,079 --> 00:55:54,680
Like... woo!
1182
00:55:54,714 --> 00:55:55,681
This type of thing.
1183
00:55:55,715 --> 00:55:56,916
What-how you call it?
1184
00:55:56,949 --> 00:56:00,953
She sees... um,
you don't orgasm.
1185
00:56:00,987 --> 00:56:02,889
I got it. Thanks.
1186
00:56:02,922 --> 00:56:05,958
Oh, but you're giving booms
to yourself sometime,
1187
00:56:05,992 --> 00:56:06,926
that's good.
1188
00:56:06,959 --> 00:56:08,060
That's ok.
1189
00:56:08,094 --> 00:56:09,028
That's something, huh?
1190
00:56:12,364 --> 00:56:12,999
That's nice.
1191
00:56:13,032 --> 00:56:14,934
You keep that going, ok?
1192
00:56:15,701 --> 00:56:18,805
Now I'm going to see about
the one you come here with.
1193
00:56:18,838 --> 00:56:19,672
This guy over here.
1194
00:56:19,705 --> 00:56:20,540
Oh, oh.
1195
00:56:20,573 --> 00:56:21,941
Hey, now.
1196
00:56:27,613 --> 00:56:28,548
This is really lucky.
1197
00:56:28,581 --> 00:56:30,917
The devil's card in reverse
is representing
1198
00:56:30,950 --> 00:56:33,920
like breaking freedom
from restraint.
1199
00:56:33,953 --> 00:56:37,690
This guy is going to give
you the big booms!
1200
00:56:39,091 --> 00:56:40,459
Yes.
1201
00:56:41,961 --> 00:56:45,965
Isn't that amazing how accurate
the Madame is?
1202
00:56:59,111 --> 00:57:04,450
Well uh, thank you again
for a uh, revealing night.
1203
00:57:04,483 --> 00:57:08,754
Once again, she was so not right
about anything she said.
1204
00:57:08,788 --> 00:57:09,455
No.
1205
00:57:09,488 --> 00:57:09,956
By the way.
1206
00:57:09,989 --> 00:57:11,057
She's crazy.
1207
00:57:11,090 --> 00:57:12,859
She said I rocked your world
when we barely even know
1208
00:57:12,892 --> 00:57:14,927
each other, let alone have had,
you know, sex.
1209
00:57:14,961 --> 00:57:16,062
Right?
1210
00:57:16,095 --> 00:57:16,996
I know.
1211
00:57:17,029 --> 00:57:18,264
Like, what was she even saying?
1212
00:57:18,297 --> 00:57:23,669
That just me being close to you
I get like all... I don't know.
1213
00:57:23,703 --> 00:57:24,503
Sorry, no.
1214
00:57:24,537 --> 00:57:28,174
Look how in control I am
around you.
1215
00:57:28,207 --> 00:57:30,142
Right.
1216
00:57:31,177 --> 00:57:32,812
Anyway, yeah, she was wrong.
1217
00:57:32,845 --> 00:57:34,747
She was crazy wrong.
1218
00:57:35,081 --> 00:57:36,849
Who knows?
1219
00:57:39,919 --> 00:57:42,989
Anyway, twice again,
for the official record,
1220
00:57:43,022 --> 00:57:45,825
I had absolutely no idea
about tonight
1221
00:57:45,858 --> 00:57:49,629
and I am so, so, so sorry.
1222
00:57:49,662 --> 00:57:51,130
I'm really sorry.
1223
00:57:51,163 --> 00:57:53,132
I'm not.
1224
00:58:00,606 --> 00:58:01,474
Goodnight.
1225
00:58:01,507 --> 00:58:02,842
Yeah.
1226
00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:04,477
I swear you're going
to get me fired.
1227
00:58:04,510 --> 00:58:07,013
Or even worse,
assigned to awful jobs.
1228
00:58:07,046 --> 00:58:09,916
Grant's a pretty big deal
at the firm, you know.
1229
00:58:09,949 --> 00:58:13,085
And you're a big deal to us,
Paul, but this isn't about you.
1230
00:58:13,119 --> 00:58:14,620
Yet.
1231
00:58:14,654 --> 00:58:16,923
The psychic didn't
say anything positive?
1232
00:58:16,956 --> 00:58:18,758
Just that I wouldn't end
up alone.
1233
00:58:18,791 --> 00:58:21,594
Well, that could just mean
she thinks you'll get a cat.
1234
00:58:21,627 --> 00:58:22,395
What?
1235
00:58:22,428 --> 00:58:23,663
Ok, let me paint a picture
for you.
1236
00:58:23,696 --> 00:58:28,000
If Grant is the devil and not
even he can get lucky with her,
1237
00:58:28,034 --> 00:58:30,703
then perhaps poor Luce
is destined to end up
1238
00:58:30,736 --> 00:58:33,172
with a litter of cats.
1239
00:58:33,205 --> 00:58:34,774
But seriously,
let's get back on point.
1240
00:58:34,807 --> 00:58:36,042
How did you two leave things?
1241
00:58:36,075 --> 00:58:37,777
Am I gonna have to avoid him
at the office?
1242
00:58:37,810 --> 00:58:40,947
Can't hear you.
I'm shopping.
1243
00:58:40,980 --> 00:58:43,549
Luce, quick question.
1244
00:58:43,582 --> 00:58:45,785
Isn't this the section for girls
who do get kissed?
1245
00:58:45,818 --> 00:58:46,585
Hey.
1246
00:58:46,619 --> 00:58:47,720
Just so you know,
1247
00:58:47,753 --> 00:58:49,055
he said he was gonna call this
weekend to make plans.
1248
00:58:49,088 --> 00:58:50,056
And no, I'm in
the right section.
1249
00:58:50,089 --> 00:58:50,890
Mmmhmm.
1250
00:58:50,923 --> 00:58:54,193
Guys, I have to tell
you something.
1251
00:58:54,226 --> 00:58:56,262
Good god, you're not preg-
how?
1252
00:58:56,295 --> 00:58:57,096
What?
1253
00:58:57,129 --> 00:58:57,730
No.
1254
00:58:57,763 --> 00:58:58,965
The question would be who,
1255
00:58:58,998 --> 00:59:01,934
since I can't even seem to get
a guy past the front porch.
1256
00:59:01,968 --> 00:59:02,935
You know those jeans
1257
00:59:02,969 --> 00:59:06,672
that make my ass look like
a sorority girl's?
1258
00:59:08,307 --> 00:59:09,809
Here?
1259
00:59:09,842 --> 00:59:10,910
We're going to
the women's section.
1260
00:59:10,943 --> 00:59:12,278
Nope, not the women's.
1261
00:59:12,311 --> 00:59:13,145
Men's?
1262
00:59:13,179 --> 00:59:14,013
That's brilliant.
1263
00:59:14,046 --> 00:59:15,014
Right here.
1264
00:59:15,047 --> 00:59:16,849
In maternity.
1265
00:59:17,516 --> 00:59:22,088
Look, they have this stretchy
stuff that goes over the stomach
1266
00:59:22,121 --> 00:59:25,791
and just kinda smooths
everything out.
1267
00:59:28,260 --> 00:59:30,229
I know, you think
I'm pathetic.
1268
00:59:30,262 --> 00:59:31,330
No, no.
1269
00:59:31,364 --> 00:59:33,733
I'm just trying to figure out
my size in women's.
1270
00:59:49,682 --> 00:59:52,618
Who knew strings could accompany
threesome-type sex so well?
1271
00:59:52,651 --> 00:59:54,120
I say we rehearse like this
all the time.
1272
00:59:55,154 --> 00:59:57,089
I'm so surprised you're still
doing the list.
1273
00:59:57,123 --> 00:59:58,157
I'm psyched.
1274
00:59:58,190 --> 01:00:00,860
I've been labelled
sexually grey.
1275
01:00:00,893 --> 01:00:02,328
It kinda solidified the mission.
1276
01:00:02,361 --> 01:00:04,263
And I've been waiting for Grant
to call me all week
1277
01:00:04,296 --> 01:00:07,800
so I figured I might as well
just watch my 25 films.
1278
01:00:07,833 --> 01:00:09,035
Why are you waiting
for him to call?
1279
01:00:09,068 --> 01:00:12,671
Why don't you call him?
1280
01:00:12,705 --> 01:00:14,807
Anyway, so I had one of these
on when it came time
1281
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:16,942
to practise one day, so...
1282
01:00:16,976 --> 01:00:17,877
Well, if it means anything,
1283
01:00:17,910 --> 01:00:20,146
I've never heard you play
this good, girl.
1284
01:00:20,179 --> 01:00:21,380
Don't be ridiculous.
1285
01:00:21,414 --> 01:00:25,618
A month until the Philharmonic
auditions remember us when.
1286
01:00:25,651 --> 01:00:26,652
Mmmhmm.
1287
01:00:32,691 --> 01:00:34,627
Oh my god.
It's him.
1288
01:00:34,660 --> 01:00:35,094
The best man?
1289
01:00:35,127 --> 01:00:36,162
Yeah.
1290
01:00:36,195 --> 01:00:37,129
Do I-what,
do I answer?
1291
01:00:37,163 --> 01:00:37,763
No!
1292
01:00:37,797 --> 01:00:39,665
No.
1293
01:00:39,698 --> 01:00:41,000
Yes.
1294
01:00:41,033 --> 01:00:42,802
I don't know.
1295
01:00:42,835 --> 01:00:44,136
Ok, answer it or I will.
1296
01:00:44,170 --> 01:00:45,971
I already suffered through
high school once.
1297
01:00:46,005 --> 01:00:47,006
Ok.
1298
01:00:47,740 --> 01:00:48,874
Ok.
1299
01:00:50,209 --> 01:00:51,243
Hey.
1300
01:00:51,277 --> 01:00:52,745
Hey yourself.
It's Grant.
1301
01:00:52,778 --> 01:00:54,280
Listen, sorry I haven't
called you...
1302
01:00:54,313 --> 01:00:56,148
"Hey"? The man of your dreams
calls and you say "hey"?
1303
01:00:56,182 --> 01:00:57,783
Shh!
1304
01:00:57,817 --> 01:00:59,652
Uh, me shush?
1305
01:00:59,685 --> 01:01:01,053
No, sorry.
Not you.
1306
01:01:01,087 --> 01:01:02,121
I'm with the quartet.
1307
01:01:02,154 --> 01:01:03,856
Rehearsing some porn!
1308
01:01:04,924 --> 01:01:05,991
Did she say you're
watching porn?
1309
01:01:06,025 --> 01:01:06,692
No.
1310
01:01:06,725 --> 01:01:07,326
No, she did not.
1311
01:01:07,359 --> 01:01:09,161
She said "horn".
1312
01:01:09,195 --> 01:01:11,897
Yeah, we're adding a French horn
to the group.
1313
01:01:11,931 --> 01:01:14,100
Ah, well, I can't help you
with that.
1314
01:01:14,133 --> 01:01:17,336
So um, you're working
on a Saturday?
1315
01:01:17,369 --> 01:01:18,204
Uh, listen.
1316
01:01:18,237 --> 01:01:19,338
Sorry I haven't called
all week.
1317
01:01:19,371 --> 01:01:20,940
I've been bloody busy
in non-stop meetings and-
1318
01:01:20,973 --> 01:01:22,041
He was out
of town all week.
1319
01:01:22,074 --> 01:01:23,042
That's it.
1320
01:01:23,075 --> 01:01:23,943
Woohoo!
1321
01:01:23,976 --> 01:01:25,344
Oh, thank god.
1322
01:01:25,377 --> 01:01:26,679
There it is.
1323
01:01:27,079 --> 01:01:28,013
Oh!
1324
01:01:29,449 --> 01:01:30,216
Oh, Paul, your ass.
1325
01:01:30,249 --> 01:01:31,083
Turn it down!
1326
01:01:31,117 --> 01:01:33,018
Turn it down!
1327
01:01:34,153 --> 01:01:36,088
Sorry, Nessa just stubbed
her toe.
1328
01:01:36,122 --> 01:01:37,022
Why me?
1329
01:01:39,158 --> 01:01:40,092
Anyway, look.
1330
01:01:40,126 --> 01:01:41,760
I know it's last minute
but I was thinking,
1331
01:01:41,794 --> 01:01:43,095
if you wanted to go out-
1332
01:01:43,129 --> 01:01:44,029
I'd love to.
1333
01:01:44,063 --> 01:01:46,065
Yes. Whatever it is.
1334
01:01:46,098 --> 01:01:46,966
So sorry!
1335
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,069
Not sorry.
1336
01:02:30,209 --> 01:02:31,210
Ok. Ok.
1337
01:02:31,243 --> 01:02:32,278
Here we go.
1338
01:02:32,311 --> 01:02:33,846
Wait. Wait.
1339
01:02:33,879 --> 01:02:35,080
What?
1340
01:02:49,061 --> 01:02:49,496
Mmm-mmm.
1341
01:02:49,529 --> 01:02:50,029
No?
1342
01:02:50,062 --> 01:02:50,996
You want me to stop?
1343
01:02:51,030 --> 01:02:52,432
What? No. Go.
1344
01:02:52,465 --> 01:02:52,965
No?
1345
01:02:52,998 --> 01:02:55,468
As in it's a no go?
1346
01:02:55,502 --> 01:02:56,802
No. No. Keep going.
1347
01:03:42,314 --> 01:03:44,451
The perfect pants
for you two.
1348
01:03:57,930 --> 01:03:59,064
Hi.
1349
01:03:59,098 --> 01:03:59,865
Hey.
1350
01:03:59,898 --> 01:04:01,133
Sorry, I didn't mean
to wake you.
1351
01:04:01,166 --> 01:04:03,135
Um, I was just gonna...
1352
01:04:04,169 --> 01:04:06,105
Oh.
1353
01:04:06,138 --> 01:04:06,939
Ok.
1354
01:04:16,849 --> 01:04:18,017
I'll call you.
1355
01:04:18,951 --> 01:04:20,185
Yeah.
1356
01:04:34,534 --> 01:04:35,134
Oh my god.
1357
01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:36,168
No! No!
1358
01:04:36,201 --> 01:04:39,004
Grant! Wait!
1359
01:04:39,038 --> 01:04:40,072
Shit.
1360
01:04:41,106 --> 01:04:41,907
No. No.
1361
01:04:41,940 --> 01:04:43,409
Grant! Wait!
1362
01:04:44,176 --> 01:04:47,212
Grant? Grant!
1363
01:04:47,246 --> 01:04:50,949
If it's about the porn
I can quit any time!
1364
01:04:53,385 --> 01:04:54,186
What?
1365
01:04:54,219 --> 01:04:57,122
So I watch porn.
Big fucking deal.
1366
01:04:57,156 --> 01:04:58,424
As long as it's consensual.
1367
01:04:58,458 --> 01:05:00,326
No judgement.
1368
01:05:12,237 --> 01:05:14,106
Stupid.
1369
01:05:14,139 --> 01:05:16,141
Useless!
1370
01:05:17,677 --> 01:05:20,412
This tastes like crap!
1371
01:05:22,147 --> 01:05:23,215
Disgusting!
1372
01:05:23,248 --> 01:05:24,416
Ugh!
1373
01:05:24,451 --> 01:05:25,618
Don't even work!
1374
01:05:27,052 --> 01:05:28,455
Ugh!
1375
01:05:33,392 --> 01:05:35,294
God, I can't believe this.
1376
01:05:36,028 --> 01:05:37,162
And you.
1377
01:06:38,056 --> 01:06:39,626
Stupid.
1378
01:06:59,512 --> 01:07:02,615
Ugh, Phil's penthouse
is just so gorge.
1379
01:07:02,649 --> 01:07:05,117
My boyfriend and I walked in
and he was all
1380
01:07:05,150 --> 01:07:07,587
"this place owns the skyline".
1381
01:07:07,620 --> 01:07:09,321
Well, it did take us about
a year to complete
1382
01:07:09,354 --> 01:07:11,123
so you can imagine
what it cost.
1383
01:07:11,156 --> 01:07:12,991
I don't do numbers.
1384
01:07:13,025 --> 01:07:15,027
Me neither, but like how much?
1385
01:07:15,060 --> 01:07:17,095
Anyway, if you thought
the penthouse is impressive
1386
01:07:17,129 --> 01:07:20,399
you really ought to see
his place in the Hamptons.
1387
01:07:20,433 --> 01:07:22,134
I can't wait to own multiple
homes in
1388
01:07:22,167 --> 01:07:23,670
which I don't actually live.
1389
01:07:23,703 --> 01:07:26,205
My boyfriend and I
love the Hams.
1390
01:07:26,238 --> 01:07:28,173
The Hams?
1391
01:07:28,207 --> 01:07:29,374
Is that what we're calling
it now?
1392
01:07:29,408 --> 01:07:31,076
Only people who live there.
1393
01:07:31,109 --> 01:07:33,378
Or people who know people,
like my boyfriend does.
1394
01:07:33,412 --> 01:07:35,180
You guys need to meet him.
1395
01:07:35,214 --> 01:07:36,148
He'll be here in a minute.
1396
01:07:36,181 --> 01:07:37,015
Mmm.
1397
01:07:37,049 --> 01:07:38,383
You know what? I want
some more wine.
1398
01:07:38,417 --> 01:07:39,786
In fact, I'll take
an I.V. of it.
1399
01:07:39,819 --> 01:07:40,520
Noted.
1400
01:07:40,553 --> 01:07:41,386
Two I.V.'s.
1401
01:07:41,420 --> 01:07:43,690
Nessa, you've gotta slow
your roll, love.
1402
01:07:43,723 --> 01:07:46,158
Um, why are you guys here,
again?
1403
01:07:46,191 --> 01:07:48,327
Paul, he's doing
the panel thing.
1404
01:07:48,360 --> 01:07:52,732
Yeah, because he has actual
things to say.
1405
01:07:52,765 --> 01:07:54,333
Sorry.
1406
01:07:54,366 --> 01:07:57,135
Um, there is a designer
on the panel
1407
01:07:57,169 --> 01:08:00,072
and Paul wants
to ask her out.
1408
01:08:00,105 --> 01:08:02,107
He makes us act like
we're interested in him
1409
01:08:02,140 --> 01:08:04,409
so he can, like,
get girls.
1410
01:08:04,444 --> 01:08:06,746
Yeah, it's legitimizing.
1411
01:08:06,779 --> 01:08:09,047
Once I make partner I probably
won't need it.
1412
01:08:09,081 --> 01:08:10,215
He's right.
1413
01:08:10,249 --> 01:08:11,484
My boyfriend's a partner.
1414
01:08:11,518 --> 01:08:12,485
It's attractive.
1415
01:08:12,519 --> 01:08:14,787
I mean, my boyfriend's
already attractive.
1416
01:08:14,821 --> 01:08:16,054
My boyfriend.
1417
01:08:16,088 --> 01:08:17,155
My boyfriend.
1418
01:08:17,189 --> 01:08:18,056
My boyfriend.
1419
01:08:18,090 --> 01:08:18,825
My boyfriend.
1420
01:08:18,858 --> 01:08:20,158
My boyfriend.
1421
01:08:20,192 --> 01:08:21,326
My boyfriend.
1422
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:22,462
My boyfriend.
1423
01:08:22,495 --> 01:08:23,630
My boyfriend.
1424
01:08:23,663 --> 01:08:25,063
Maybe you should get
a shirt that says
1425
01:08:25,097 --> 01:08:26,265
"I have a boyfriend"
1426
01:08:26,298 --> 01:08:29,134
and then you wouldn't have
to tell us every five seconds.
1427
01:08:29,167 --> 01:08:29,736
Ok, refill.
1428
01:08:29,769 --> 01:08:31,203
Coming right up.
1429
01:08:31,236 --> 01:08:32,605
I didn't mean to make
you jealous.
1430
01:08:32,639 --> 01:08:33,405
Of what?
1431
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:34,406
You know what?
1432
01:08:34,440 --> 01:08:35,475
This is a good time to go.
1433
01:08:35,508 --> 01:08:36,275
I'm good.
1434
01:08:36,308 --> 01:08:38,210
Oh, there he is.
1435
01:08:46,619 --> 01:08:48,788
Ugh.
1436
01:09:37,737 --> 01:09:39,672
I'm all out of sausage.
1437
01:09:39,706 --> 01:09:43,108
I hope you brought your hot,
throbbing co-
1438
01:09:45,745 --> 01:09:48,180
What am I doing?
1439
01:10:49,241 --> 01:10:50,510
Thank you.
1440
01:10:50,543 --> 01:10:52,244
We'll be in touch.
1441
01:10:53,846 --> 01:10:55,380
It's that way.
1442
01:11:02,955 --> 01:11:04,457
Hey, Priscilla, it's me.
1443
01:11:04,490 --> 01:11:06,592
So the audition went great.
1444
01:11:06,626 --> 01:11:07,794
I did it!
1445
01:11:07,827 --> 01:11:10,328
I finally crossed something
big off one of my lists.
1446
01:11:10,362 --> 01:11:12,498
Ah, I feel amazing.
1447
01:11:27,547 --> 01:11:29,314
Jeff's getting married?
1448
01:11:29,347 --> 01:11:31,551
And he's inviting you?
1449
01:11:31,584 --> 01:11:33,820
And this is his idea of
a wedding invitation?
1450
01:11:33,853 --> 01:11:35,621
Talk about no taste.
1451
01:11:35,655 --> 01:11:36,789
It gets worse.
1452
01:11:36,823 --> 01:11:37,924
Don't even.
1453
01:11:37,957 --> 01:11:39,391
He wants you to play
at the wedding.
1454
01:11:39,424 --> 01:11:40,392
Us.
1455
01:11:40,426 --> 01:11:40,960
Yeah.
1456
01:11:40,993 --> 01:11:41,894
He wants the quartet.
1457
01:11:41,928 --> 01:11:43,261
Well, we're not doing that.
1458
01:11:43,295 --> 01:11:44,362
And I don't even understand,
1459
01:11:44,396 --> 01:11:45,898
why would he want you to be
there at the wedding?
1460
01:11:45,932 --> 01:11:47,133
Maybe he feels guilty.
1461
01:11:47,166 --> 01:11:50,268
I don't know, maybe he feels
like he's doing me a big favour.
1462
01:11:50,302 --> 01:11:51,403
How is this a favour?
1463
01:11:51,437 --> 01:11:52,739
The girl's family is loaded.
1464
01:11:52,772 --> 01:11:55,742
Ok, so we're absolutely
doing it.
1465
01:11:55,775 --> 01:11:57,643
But Jeff is a tool.
1466
01:11:57,677 --> 01:11:59,512
And not a sharp one.
1467
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:01,948
Do you know, Luce, when uh,
1468
01:12:01,981 --> 01:12:05,818
when Sharon left me
for Jennifer...
1469
01:12:05,852 --> 01:12:08,488
it was more the rejection
that hurt.
1470
01:12:08,521 --> 01:12:09,889
Not necessarily her leaving.
1471
01:12:09,922 --> 01:12:12,725
Honestly, I don't really care
about Jeff leaving.
1472
01:12:12,759 --> 01:12:13,993
And who wants to have
super lame sex
1473
01:12:14,026 --> 01:12:15,762
the rest of their life, anyway?
1474
01:12:15,795 --> 01:12:16,863
Uh, I do.
1475
01:12:16,896 --> 01:12:21,033
Lame sex, virtual sex,
the faint possibility of sex,
1476
01:12:21,067 --> 01:12:23,069
any of which would be more
than I'm currently getting.
1477
01:12:23,102 --> 01:12:24,904
I can't even get my hand
to have sex with me anymore.
1478
01:12:24,937 --> 01:12:27,372
Yeah, well, maybe if you dressed
up your hand like a redhead
1479
01:12:27,405 --> 01:12:29,909
who cooks, loves musicals,
and has a PhD...
1480
01:12:29,942 --> 01:12:31,978
I'm sad to report
that my standards
1481
01:12:32,011 --> 01:12:34,013
have dropped somewhat
significantly.
1482
01:12:34,046 --> 01:12:34,847
Oh yeah?
1483
01:12:34,881 --> 01:12:36,381
Well, what is your type
these days?
1484
01:12:36,414 --> 01:12:37,884
Willing.
1485
01:12:39,018 --> 01:12:39,886
And I've got to go to Vegas
for a bachelor party.
1486
01:12:39,919 --> 01:12:42,555
I swear, all those boobs
I can't touch
1487
01:12:42,588 --> 01:12:44,023
might just be the end of me.
1488
01:12:44,056 --> 01:12:45,992
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
no one over the age of two
1489
01:12:46,025 --> 01:12:48,961
has ever died
from lack of boob.
1490
01:12:48,995 --> 01:12:49,796
That's a valid point.
1491
01:12:49,829 --> 01:12:52,064
Wait a second,
when are you leaving?
1492
01:12:52,098 --> 01:12:52,965
For Vegas?
1493
01:12:52,999 --> 01:12:53,966
Yeah.
1494
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:56,035
Tomorrow, why?
1495
01:12:56,068 --> 01:12:57,670
Because I need to finish
my list
1496
01:12:57,703 --> 01:12:59,005
and there's this Vegas thing
on there.
1497
01:12:59,038 --> 01:13:00,973
No, no, no, you need
to finish it
1498
01:13:01,007 --> 01:13:02,374
because Jeff's getting married.
1499
01:13:02,407 --> 01:13:03,341
No, I-
1500
01:13:03,375 --> 01:13:04,577
Besides, Grant's
gonna be there.
1501
01:13:04,610 --> 01:13:05,978
I don't care if Grant's
gonna be there.
1502
01:13:06,012 --> 01:13:08,481
I just need to finish my list,
alright?
1503
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:10,683
And you're gonna help me.
1504
01:13:10,716 --> 01:13:11,717
So just embarrassing me
1505
01:13:11,751 --> 01:13:13,853
at the strip club wasn't enough
for you, was it?
1506
01:13:13,886 --> 01:13:15,054
This'll be so much better.
1507
01:13:15,087 --> 01:13:15,888
Will it be, though?
1508
01:13:15,922 --> 01:13:16,923
Yeah.
1509
01:13:17,790 --> 01:13:19,625
Could I get more needles
in here, please?
1510
01:13:19,659 --> 01:13:20,960
Tensing up!
1511
01:13:57,063 --> 01:13:58,731
You need to have sex.
1512
01:13:58,764 --> 01:14:00,566
And I have to finish
my list.
1513
01:14:00,600 --> 01:14:02,034
So it's a win-win.
1514
01:14:02,068 --> 01:14:03,202
Um, for losers.
1515
01:14:03,236 --> 01:14:05,938
So I'm not sure we come out
on the right side of this.
1516
01:14:05,972 --> 01:14:07,106
Ok.
1517
01:14:07,139 --> 01:14:09,709
Here is who's working today.
1518
01:14:11,777 --> 01:14:12,678
Nope.
1519
01:14:12,712 --> 01:14:13,713
Can't do it.
1520
01:14:13,746 --> 01:14:14,412
Do you know what?
1521
01:14:14,447 --> 01:14:15,648
They're probably all diseased.
1522
01:14:15,681 --> 01:14:17,717
No, you're more likely to catch
something in a sorority house.
1523
01:14:17,750 --> 01:14:18,951
See?
1524
01:14:18,985 --> 01:14:21,554
Here is a whole information
sheet about their weekly tests,
1525
01:14:21,587 --> 01:14:23,522
how they check each customer
for symptoms,
1526
01:14:23,556 --> 01:14:26,993
and clean everyone's genitals
with anti-bacterial-
1527
01:14:27,026 --> 01:14:28,661
How about we don't use
the word "genitals"?
1528
01:14:28,694 --> 01:14:30,196
Will you please just go
in there and do the deed
1529
01:14:30,229 --> 01:14:31,430
so you can report back?
1530
01:14:31,464 --> 01:14:33,466
Why don't you just go inside
and do the deed and report back?
1531
01:14:33,499 --> 01:14:35,434
Because they don't service
lesbians or straight girls
1532
01:14:35,468 --> 01:14:36,802
who like sex with women.
1533
01:14:36,836 --> 01:14:39,005
How do you know they
don't service women?
1534
01:14:39,038 --> 01:14:41,807
Oh my god, you called
and asked for yourself.
1535
01:14:41,841 --> 01:14:44,443
Wow, you really have
turned over a new leaf.
1536
01:14:44,477 --> 01:14:47,847
Look, you buy women
nice dinners all the time
1537
01:14:47,880 --> 01:14:49,115
hoping to get sex out of it,
correct?
1538
01:14:49,148 --> 01:14:50,883
What?
1539
01:14:50,917 --> 01:14:51,984
Pfff.
1540
01:14:53,986 --> 01:14:54,654
I- I do.
1541
01:14:54,687 --> 01:14:55,855
Yeah.
1542
01:14:55,888 --> 01:14:59,025
So that's just a more honest
side of the exact same coin,
1543
01:14:59,058 --> 01:15:01,761
and it's perfectly natural.
1544
01:15:02,762 --> 01:15:04,897
I'm not going in there alone.
1545
01:15:04,931 --> 01:15:07,566
Well, great, let's get
in there.
1546
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,936
Wow. Called my bluff.
1547
01:15:12,271 --> 01:15:14,206
Oh boy, this is happening.
1548
01:15:16,642 --> 01:15:18,144
Hey, sweetheart.
1549
01:15:18,177 --> 01:15:19,745
You worry too much.
1550
01:15:19,779 --> 01:15:22,581
I told you there'd be other
normal people here.
1551
01:15:22,615 --> 01:15:23,716
Howdy, fellas.
1552
01:15:23,749 --> 01:15:25,484
How y'all doin' today?
1553
01:15:25,518 --> 01:15:28,187
We're here to get her some,
if you know what I mean.
1554
01:15:28,220 --> 01:15:30,690
Ain't that right,
honey bunch?
1555
01:15:30,723 --> 01:15:33,092
It's a perfectly natural thing.
1556
01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:35,494
What dialect is that?
1557
01:15:35,528 --> 01:15:36,662
Is it not southern?
1558
01:15:36,696 --> 01:15:38,030
Not at all.
1559
01:15:38,064 --> 01:15:40,232
And just to be clear,
this is already not worth it.
1560
01:15:40,266 --> 01:15:43,035
Just so we are clear, am I to
share your girl or get my own?
1561
01:15:43,069 --> 01:15:45,972
I mean, we've not really worked
out any of the details here.
1562
01:15:47,640 --> 01:15:48,741
Oh.
1563
01:15:50,309 --> 01:15:51,677
Interesting.
1564
01:15:52,244 --> 01:15:55,247
Ladies? Please say hello.
1565
01:15:56,148 --> 01:15:59,018
Just like that, here they come,
down the staircase.
1566
01:15:59,051 --> 01:16:01,120
Oh, that's a nice dress.
1567
01:16:02,088 --> 01:16:03,489
Thank you.
1568
01:16:03,956 --> 01:16:05,558
I need to go to the bathroom.
1569
01:16:05,591 --> 01:16:08,761
Uh... I can't do this.
1570
01:16:08,794 --> 01:16:09,929
I'm so, so sorry.
1571
01:16:09,962 --> 01:16:10,963
May I squeeze through?
1572
01:16:10,997 --> 01:16:13,032
Good luck.
1573
01:16:13,733 --> 01:16:15,868
What happened to your boyfriend?
1574
01:16:15,901 --> 01:16:18,070
Oh, no, he's not
my boyfriend.
1575
01:16:18,104 --> 01:16:22,041
He's more of a colleague.
1576
01:16:22,074 --> 01:16:23,976
Excuse me, doll?
1577
01:16:24,010 --> 01:16:26,779
We don't service
single women here.
1578
01:16:26,812 --> 01:16:30,883
Actually, I want to apply
for a job.
1579
01:16:31,917 --> 01:16:33,085
As...?
1580
01:16:33,119 --> 01:16:35,087
As a... you know,
1581
01:16:35,121 --> 01:16:37,790
what they are-do.
1582
01:16:37,823 --> 01:16:38,991
Hi.
1583
01:16:39,025 --> 01:16:41,694
You want to be a working girl.
1584
01:16:41,727 --> 01:16:43,095
Yeah.
1585
01:16:49,869 --> 01:16:51,003
Wow.
1586
01:16:51,037 --> 01:16:52,304
How'd it go?
1587
01:16:52,338 --> 01:16:55,875
Well, I applied to be
one of the girls.
1588
01:16:55,908 --> 01:16:57,043
I'm sorry, what?
1589
01:16:57,076 --> 01:16:59,712
Well, I didn't get the job,
obviously.
1590
01:16:59,745 --> 01:17:00,946
So quick question.
1591
01:17:00,980 --> 01:17:02,281
When I tell the story later,
1592
01:17:02,314 --> 01:17:03,849
which do you think is going
to be better?
1593
01:17:03,883 --> 01:17:05,618
The fact that you applied
to be a prostitute
1594
01:17:05,651 --> 01:17:06,986
or that you didn't get
the job?
1595
01:17:07,019 --> 01:17:08,654
Anyway, I'm really sorry
1596
01:17:08,687 --> 01:17:10,022
that you're late for
your bachelor party.
1597
01:17:10,056 --> 01:17:10,790
No, that's alright.
1598
01:17:10,823 --> 01:17:11,724
I'll just tell them
the truth,
1599
01:17:11,757 --> 01:17:13,826
that you got hung up
at a job interview.
1600
01:17:13,859 --> 01:17:15,127
I'm just teasing.
1601
01:17:15,161 --> 01:17:16,962
They'd be lucky
to have you.
1602
01:17:16,996 --> 01:17:18,130
Thank you.
1603
01:17:33,712 --> 01:17:34,814
Here we are, huh?
1604
01:17:34,847 --> 01:17:37,249
Well, I mean, are you sure you
don't wanna come along?
1605
01:17:37,283 --> 01:17:39,118
You can always be the
entertainment package.
1606
01:17:39,151 --> 01:17:41,720
No, I'm just gonna
wander around.
1607
01:17:41,754 --> 01:17:42,556
Alright.
1608
01:17:42,588 --> 01:17:44,090
All I want right now
is a quiet bar
1609
01:17:44,123 --> 01:17:46,625
and an artfully
crafted cocktail.
1610
01:17:46,659 --> 01:17:47,226
Fair enough.
1611
01:17:47,259 --> 01:17:47,893
Have fun!
1612
01:17:47,927 --> 01:17:49,228
Alright, have a good night!
1613
01:17:51,097 --> 01:17:53,032
Woooo!
1614
01:17:57,069 --> 01:17:58,237
Yes!
1615
01:17:59,038 --> 01:18:00,239
Ooh, that's strong.
1616
01:18:00,272 --> 01:18:01,874
Let's take a picture.
1617
01:18:02,074 --> 01:18:03,375
My new friends.
1618
01:18:03,409 --> 01:18:05,911
One, two, three.
1619
01:18:08,080 --> 01:18:09,348
Alright, Vegas.
1620
01:18:09,381 --> 01:18:12,218
Welcome to karaoke night
at the Blue Saloon.
1621
01:18:12,251 --> 01:18:14,220
Up next we've got...
1622
01:18:16,288 --> 01:18:17,990
Lucy Neal.
1623
01:18:18,023 --> 01:18:18,991
Come on up.
1624
01:18:19,024 --> 01:18:19,992
What?
1625
01:18:20,025 --> 01:18:21,026
Oh, no.
1626
01:18:21,060 --> 01:18:22,795
No, I didn't sign up.
1627
01:18:22,828 --> 01:18:24,997
Well, someone put your name
in there.
1628
01:18:26,031 --> 01:18:29,702
Well... actually,
I don't sing.
1629
01:18:29,735 --> 01:18:30,970
What do you do, then?
1630
01:18:31,003 --> 01:18:35,442
Um... I'm a violinist?
1631
01:18:35,475 --> 01:18:37,042
Oh.
1632
01:18:38,344 --> 01:18:39,712
Well then why don't
you come down
1633
01:18:39,745 --> 01:18:40,679
and play some violin for us?
1634
01:18:40,713 --> 01:18:41,113
Oh, no, no, no.
1635
01:18:41,147 --> 01:18:41,780
No, I'm good.
1636
01:18:41,814 --> 01:18:42,815
Thank you.
1637
01:18:42,848 --> 01:18:44,016
Come on, there's only like
five people in here.
1638
01:18:44,049 --> 01:18:45,351
What've you got to lose?
1639
01:18:45,384 --> 01:18:46,952
Get up here, have some fun.
1640
01:18:47,454 --> 01:18:48,821
Crap.
1641
01:18:49,054 --> 01:18:50,289
Ok.
1642
01:18:51,824 --> 01:18:53,859
Not cool, guys.
1643
01:18:54,727 --> 01:18:55,961
Give it up for Lucy.
1644
01:18:59,231 --> 01:19:01,367
I play classical mostly.
1645
01:19:01,400 --> 01:19:02,234
Don't worry about it.
1646
01:19:02,268 --> 01:19:03,736
Just play along.
We're in the key of G.
1647
01:19:03,769 --> 01:19:04,270
It's an original.
1648
01:19:04,303 --> 01:19:05,738
There's your bow.
1649
01:19:07,907 --> 01:19:09,175
Are you guys ready?
1650
01:19:44,076 --> 01:19:48,814
♪ Hello my lovely baby,
I want you near, ♪
1651
01:19:48,847 --> 01:19:51,016
♪ I see you walking
through my door, ♪
1652
01:19:51,050 --> 01:19:52,519
♪ And it is clear, ♪
1653
01:19:52,552 --> 01:19:57,089
♪ I need you more and more,
don't I? ♪
1654
01:19:57,122 --> 01:20:01,126
♪ I want you more and more
in my life, ♪
1655
01:20:01,160 --> 01:20:04,464
♪ So hey, come on in, ♪
1656
01:20:21,113 --> 01:20:22,982
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1657
01:20:23,015 --> 01:20:26,018
♪ I feel I'm getting cold, ♪
1658
01:20:29,955 --> 01:20:32,091
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1659
01:20:32,124 --> 01:20:35,227
♪ I feel my heart
in my soul, ♪
1660
01:20:37,464 --> 01:20:38,797
♪ Yeah, yeah, ♪
1661
01:20:38,831 --> 01:20:40,567
♪ Wake me up, baby, ♪
1662
01:20:40,600 --> 01:20:43,135
♪ Wake me up in my soul, ♪
1663
01:20:47,006 --> 01:20:49,174
♪ Wake me up baby, ♪
1664
01:20:49,208 --> 01:20:52,177
♪ I feel my heart's
getting cold, ♪
1665
01:20:52,211 --> 01:20:53,245
♪ I don't wanna get cold, ♪
1666
01:20:53,279 --> 01:20:54,213
♪ Now, warm me up, ♪
1667
01:20:54,246 --> 01:20:56,382
♪ warm me up,
warm me up, ♪
1668
01:20:58,250 --> 01:21:02,354
♪ And I am fallin' fallin'
fallin' for you so I, ♪
1669
01:21:02,388 --> 01:21:04,423
♪ Realize I that
I am old and, ♪
1670
01:21:04,457 --> 01:21:08,927
♪ Suddenly it seems
everyone has left me, ♪
1671
01:21:08,961 --> 01:21:11,964
♪ Suddenly as it seems
as the future's ♪
1672
01:21:11,997 --> 01:21:15,000
♪ right in front of me ♪
1673
01:21:18,037 --> 01:21:18,538
Yeah!
1674
01:21:18,571 --> 01:21:19,838
Alright, Lucy!
1675
01:21:21,106 --> 01:21:22,841
Yeah.
1676
01:21:22,875 --> 01:21:25,044
Well done.
1677
01:21:25,077 --> 01:21:27,146
Alright, let's see
who's up next.
1678
01:21:27,179 --> 01:21:29,848
Anyone else have any
hidden talents out there?
1679
01:21:32,184 --> 01:21:33,486
What're you doing here?
1680
01:21:33,520 --> 01:21:37,189
Shouldn't you be at the bachelor
party with Paul?
1681
01:21:37,222 --> 01:21:39,992
Paul showed me the picture
you texted him
1682
01:21:40,025 --> 01:21:43,262
of you and the posse
of Harvard boys.
1683
01:21:43,295 --> 01:21:44,464
I recognized the bar so-
1684
01:21:44,497 --> 01:21:45,197
What, so you-
1685
01:21:45,230 --> 01:21:47,099
Thought I'd come looking
for you.
1686
01:21:47,132 --> 01:21:49,602
Please tell me you've got
better than that.
1687
01:21:53,372 --> 01:21:55,307
How about I tell you how sorry
I am that I fell off
1688
01:21:55,341 --> 01:21:57,376
the face of the earth?
1689
01:21:59,078 --> 01:22:00,346
I was an idiot.
1690
01:22:00,379 --> 01:22:03,115
Why didn't you call?
1691
01:22:03,148 --> 01:22:05,351
A bunch of reasons.
1692
01:22:05,384 --> 01:22:07,152
None of them good.
1693
01:22:08,987 --> 01:22:10,055
Ok, look.
1694
01:22:10,089 --> 01:22:11,491
This has been fun and thank you
for whatever this is
1695
01:22:11,524 --> 01:22:12,191
but I am not-
1696
01:22:12,224 --> 01:22:13,258
But-but wait.
1697
01:22:13,292 --> 01:22:16,128
Can I just have one second?
1698
01:22:16,161 --> 01:22:20,366
Meeting you was
a big surprise.
1699
01:22:20,399 --> 01:22:25,204
And then I realized how much
I really liked you.
1700
01:22:25,237 --> 01:22:26,238
But then I-I just-
1701
01:22:26,271 --> 01:22:29,074
Decided to show your
considerable appreciation
1702
01:22:29,108 --> 01:22:33,045
by sleeping with me
and then running out?
1703
01:22:33,078 --> 01:22:35,515
It's just-it's a scary
proposition.
1704
01:22:35,548 --> 01:22:36,382
What's scary?
1705
01:22:36,415 --> 01:22:36,949
I'm scary?
1706
01:22:36,982 --> 01:22:39,952
What is scary about me?
1707
01:22:43,222 --> 01:22:48,026
For starters, you're
obsessed with sex.
1708
01:22:52,632 --> 01:22:58,337
Look, you came around
at a really weird time.
1709
01:22:58,370 --> 01:23:00,406
And I know the list is bizarre
1710
01:23:00,440 --> 01:23:04,076
but I've got something
important to prove.
1711
01:23:04,109 --> 01:23:05,277
Prove what? To who?
1712
01:23:05,310 --> 01:23:07,079
To myself.
1713
01:23:09,749 --> 01:23:16,321
I guess... I need to prove
to myself that I'm enough.
1714
01:23:25,197 --> 01:23:27,366
Leaving like that
was a mistake.
1715
01:23:27,399 --> 01:23:30,703
Not calling you
was a mistake.
1716
01:23:30,737 --> 01:23:33,673
Will you please forgive me?
1717
01:23:51,290 --> 01:23:52,459
Sorry.
1718
01:23:57,730 --> 01:23:58,197
Woah, woah, woah.
1719
01:23:58,230 --> 01:23:59,198
Wait. Wait. Stop.
1720
01:23:59,231 --> 01:23:59,933
Stop?
1721
01:23:59,965 --> 01:24:02,201
I don't wanna hurt
the baby.
1722
01:24:02,234 --> 01:24:03,770
What?
1723
01:24:03,803 --> 01:24:08,073
Um... I'm not pregnant.
1724
01:24:08,106 --> 01:24:09,374
I beg your pardon?
1725
01:24:09,408 --> 01:24:10,108
Wait-
1726
01:24:10,142 --> 01:24:11,210
You're not?
1727
01:24:11,243 --> 01:24:13,746
I know-I know
I've been emotional
1728
01:24:13,780 --> 01:24:16,516
and like I'm craving some weird
stuff, but oh my-oh my god,
1729
01:24:16,549 --> 01:24:17,149
do I look pregnant?
1730
01:24:17,182 --> 01:24:18,116
No, no, no.
1731
01:24:18,150 --> 01:24:18,918
You're not emotional.
1732
01:24:18,952 --> 01:24:20,185
You look stunning
and beautiful.
1733
01:24:20,219 --> 01:24:26,225
It's uh, at your house you had
maternity pants on the chair.
1734
01:24:26,258 --> 01:24:28,728
Honestly, I saw the pants
and I freaked out
1735
01:24:28,761 --> 01:24:31,029
and that's why I left.
1736
01:24:31,063 --> 01:24:33,198
Oh my god.
1737
01:24:33,232 --> 01:24:35,200
What?
1738
01:24:35,234 --> 01:24:36,168
Oh my god.
1739
01:24:36,201 --> 01:24:39,706
You left because you thought
I was pregnant?
1740
01:24:39,739 --> 01:24:41,206
It's a scary proposition.
1741
01:24:46,278 --> 01:24:47,412
Wow.
1742
01:24:50,583 --> 01:24:52,084
Wait.
1743
01:24:53,185 --> 01:24:56,556
You thought that and you
still wanted to be with me.
1744
01:25:06,466 --> 01:25:07,834
We like the same books.
1745
01:25:07,867 --> 01:25:09,334
Mmm.
1746
01:25:09,368 --> 01:25:11,136
Not in the same order.
1747
01:25:11,169 --> 01:25:12,237
You're right.
1748
01:25:12,271 --> 01:25:14,406
It's never gonna work.
1749
01:25:41,133 --> 01:25:42,100
Luce, it's Paul.
1750
01:25:42,134 --> 01:25:42,802
You're never gonna believe this.
1751
01:25:42,835 --> 01:25:43,903
I've met the girl of my dreams.
1752
01:25:43,937 --> 01:25:46,405
Her name is Destiny and yes,
she is a stripper.
1753
01:25:46,439 --> 01:25:48,106
Let me tell you...
1754
01:25:51,209 --> 01:25:52,879
Hi Lucy, Howard Gregson.
1755
01:25:52,912 --> 01:25:56,114
Our committee loved
your audition but ultimately
1756
01:25:56,148 --> 01:25:58,585
decided your playing
is too expansive.
1757
01:25:58,618 --> 01:26:01,320
A hair uninhibited
for our conductor.
1758
01:26:01,353 --> 01:26:04,156
But I think your skills
are just a bit misplaced.
1759
01:26:04,189 --> 01:26:06,158
To that end I have an
opportunity coming up
1760
01:26:06,191 --> 01:26:07,827
in a couple of weeks.
1761
01:26:33,553 --> 01:26:34,854
- Hey.
- Hey.
1762
01:26:34,887 --> 01:26:35,888
You all ready
for the wedding?
1763
01:26:35,922 --> 01:26:39,224
Yes, but there's something
we need to do first.
1764
01:26:46,466 --> 01:26:48,200
Wow.
1765
01:26:48,233 --> 01:26:49,902
Well, you've still got one
more thing on your list.
1766
01:26:49,936 --> 01:26:51,403
Oh.
1767
01:26:51,437 --> 01:26:52,572
Yes, I do.
1768
01:26:52,605 --> 01:26:54,172
Let's go.
1769
01:27:01,447 --> 01:27:01,981
There you go.
1770
01:27:02,015 --> 01:27:02,949
Thank you guys so much.
1771
01:27:02,982 --> 01:27:04,517
Thank you.
1772
01:27:04,550 --> 01:27:05,417
- Hi.
- Hi.
1773
01:27:05,451 --> 01:27:06,318
Hey.
1774
01:27:06,351 --> 01:27:07,386
Who can I make it out to?
1775
01:27:07,419 --> 01:27:08,286
Uh, Lucy.
1776
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:10,222
Yeah, she's a big fan.
1777
01:27:10,255 --> 01:27:12,257
Um, how do I spell that?
1778
01:27:13,960 --> 01:27:16,863
Actually, there's a much
bigger fan
1779
01:27:16,896 --> 01:27:19,632
that you should make this
out to.
1780
01:27:21,968 --> 01:27:25,337
I mean, this is just so Jeff.
1781
01:27:26,839 --> 01:27:27,940
Care to dance?
1782
01:27:27,974 --> 01:27:30,175
Yes, I would love to.
1783
01:27:49,529 --> 01:27:51,497
Ok, Stan.
1784
01:27:51,531 --> 01:27:52,932
Woo!
1785
01:27:52,965 --> 01:27:53,533
Hey, there she is.
1786
01:27:53,566 --> 01:27:55,400
Here, come on.
Switch.
1787
01:27:55,435 --> 01:27:56,602
Oh.
1788
01:27:57,537 --> 01:27:58,771
Hey, congratulations.
1789
01:27:58,805 --> 01:27:59,505
Oh, thanks.
1790
01:27:59,539 --> 01:28:01,306
And thanks for playing
for us.
1791
01:28:01,339 --> 01:28:03,509
The force is strong
with you.
1792
01:28:07,146 --> 01:28:08,481
Mind if I...?
1793
01:28:09,515 --> 01:28:10,883
That's cool.
1794
01:28:12,585 --> 01:28:14,554
Thanks for doing this.
1795
01:28:14,587 --> 01:28:16,288
The price was right.
1796
01:28:16,321 --> 01:28:17,190
Is that the only reason?
1797
01:28:17,222 --> 01:28:21,427
No. Well, maybe.
Ok, yes. It was. But...
1798
01:28:21,461 --> 01:28:22,360
Ok.
1799
01:28:22,394 --> 01:28:23,930
I'm glad I did.
1800
01:28:23,963 --> 01:28:24,897
I'm glad we're good.
1801
01:28:24,931 --> 01:28:26,532
Me too.
1802
01:28:26,566 --> 01:28:27,533
Uh, I gotta ask you.
1803
01:28:27,567 --> 01:28:31,971
Um, whatever happened
to that list you had?
1804
01:28:32,004 --> 01:28:33,973
The interesting one?
1805
01:28:34,006 --> 01:28:36,843
Wait until you see the wedding
gift I got for you.
1806
01:28:53,626 --> 01:28:55,928
I can't find it.
1807
01:28:55,962 --> 01:28:59,532
That's because
it's right here.
1808
01:29:01,333 --> 01:29:04,537
And I can't wait to give it
to you.
1809
01:29:13,813 --> 01:29:15,047
I'm... married.
1810
01:29:15,081 --> 01:29:16,916
I'm-I got married.
1811
01:29:16,949 --> 01:29:19,585
I'm married today.
1812
01:29:22,088 --> 01:29:24,090
Thank you so much
for doing this.
1813
01:29:24,123 --> 01:29:25,658
What can I say?
1814
01:29:25,691 --> 01:29:26,926
I believe in love.
1815
01:29:26,959 --> 01:29:29,061
Hey, Luce, all the bridesmaids
are twerking
1816
01:29:29,095 --> 01:29:30,530
on the dance floor...
1817
01:29:30,563 --> 01:29:32,598
Hi.
1818
01:29:32,632 --> 01:29:33,499
I'm Paul.
1819
01:29:33,533 --> 01:29:36,035
I'm Honey.
1820
01:29:36,068 --> 01:29:38,971
Delighted.
1821
01:29:39,005 --> 01:29:40,473
Are you gonna ask me
to dance?
1822
01:29:40,506 --> 01:29:41,474
Yes, yes I am.
1823
01:29:41,507 --> 01:29:43,042
Right this way, please.
1824
01:29:52,417 --> 01:29:53,719
Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
1825
01:29:53,753 --> 01:29:56,421
there's only a few songs left
so get out on the dance floor.
1826
01:29:56,455 --> 01:29:59,391
Let's celebrate
Jeff and Anne tonight.
1827
01:29:59,424 --> 01:30:01,027
Let's send them off
with style.
1828
01:30:01,060 --> 01:30:04,730
Don't forget to tip
your bartender.
1829
01:30:20,813 --> 01:30:21,547
What?
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