Original subtitles

progammed half, DB‐8, and I've assembled some

of the greatest minds in geekery to settle

critical disputes to massage the bad thoughts

out of our nerdy brains.

Tonight, we've got star and executive producer

of Call Me Kat; Mayim Bialik.

Legend of Korra's Janet Varney, writer on Netflix's

Girls on the Bus; Dani Fernandez,

and Archer's Amber Nash.

Ladies, gentlemen, welcome to the only place

in the universe where the statement, "Debate me" is fun!

This is Syfy Wire's The Great Debate!

(applause)

Welcome to The Great Debate.

Call me the Energizer Bunny

because I'm your ever ready MC; Baron Vaughn.

Thank you for joining us.

With me to crunch the numbers and determine the winners

is our ship's computer and my digital life partner; DB‐8.

(applause)

‐ Baron and I will choose our winner based on whoever

gets Baron to pay me back for spilling coffee

on my control pad.

I still smell like pumpkin spiced latte.

‐ [Baron] Okay, that was very grande of you.

(laughing)

She was just trying to vent‐i, okay.

Well, we've got some new friends here tonight.

Let's hear it for our panelists right now.

(applause)

And now we can begin.

This round is called Aces of Debate.

I'll offer the argument topic, and all four of you

will have a chance to state your case and hash it out.

‐ Oh, oh, oh.

‐ Oh boy!

‐ [Baron] Our topic is Bench Please: Best Bench

Player in Genre.

All right, so in the NBA, there's something called

the Sixth Man of the Year.

It's for the best player who comes off the bench.

So I'm wondering, in the geek world, who is the most

valuable player who isn't in the starting line up?

Let the debate begin.

Let's start with you, Janet Varney.

Who is your bench player?

‐ I'm gonna stand behind Nebula in The Avengers universe.

I think we all know she made a tremendous sacrifice.

In an alternate timeline, yes, but we're gonna skip

over that part.

To save half of humanity, that's huge.

Everyone loves when an evil character helps the good side.

I think that's very redeeming and exciting.

‐ Nothing nebulous about Nebula.

Take it away Amber.

‐ I'm gonna go with Brienne of Tarth from Game of Thrones.

She defeated the Hound in a duel, and the Hound

is a very scary looking man.

She defeated a bear.

I mean, who fights a bear?

She became the first female knight, so she broke

the dragon glass ceiling.

Okay, and most importantly, I can't state this enough.

I watched every single episode of Game of Thrones,

and I only knew two characters names.

(laughing)

Jon Snow and Brienne of Tarth, so that's it, right there.

‐ Okay.

That is an argument as fine as Dornish wine.

I would like to hear from you, Dani.

‐ Oh, I gotta go with my girl Harley Quinn.

As a fellow woman who has been called crazy, I'm glad

she's taking our word back.

(laughing)

‐ Are you still on the bench if you have your own movie?

‐ Oh!

‐ Good point.

‐ I mean, tell that to America.

(laughing)

‐ How dare you use America against me, Dani?

‐ [Baron] Thank you for all of that and bringing it home.

Your turn, Mayim.

‐ I'm gonna go with Eowyn from Lord of the Rings.

‐ [Baron] There's some Eowyn fans over there.

‐ [Mayim] This is her after being friendzoned.

She follows the man who friendzoned her.

She follows him into battle, she has, arguably,

the best line from the entire trilogy, "I am no man."

Because she's a woman.

She's feminine and graceful, but also fierce.

She beheads a dragon.

Talk about the dragon glass ceiling, she's already on it.

‐ Yeah, yeah.

(laughing)

‐ And her name has the word 'win' in it; Eowyn.

Spelled with a Y like she's hip.

(laughing)

‐ [Dani] I know that Nebula survived Thanos

and Brienne survived the ending of Game of Thrones,

but Harley survived co‐starring with Jared Leto.

(laughing)

‐ That's a big deal.

‐ [Baron] Whoo!

The really great opening arguments.

DB‐8, who is your favorite?

‐ [DB‐8] Well, I really like that argument for Nebula,

especially when you think about it, she's like

her own hotspot, and who doesn't want that?

(applause)

‐ [Baron] Fun fact, DB‐8 is also her own hotspot.

But I think I follow this argument all the way

to the Gates of Mordor, so I'm gonna have

to go with Mayim and Eowyn in this one.

‐ Oh, are you?

‐ [Baron] Yes, indeed.

(applause)

Okay, great work, y'all.

Deebs, is it about that time?

‐ Sure is.

We'll be back faster than Avengers: Age of Ultron's

Quicksilver racing X‐Men's Days of Future Past Quicksilver

for a chance to be relevant to either of their franchises.

‐ Okay.

‐ That's a mouthful.

‐ [Baron] After this commercial break, our panel

is going head to head.

This is The Great Debate.

(applause)

Welcome back to The Great Debate.

I'm here with Mayim Bialik, Amber Nash, Janet Varney

and Dani Fernandez.

‐ [Audience Member] Whoo!

‐ Yes indeed, applaud.

(applause)

Thank you.

This is head to head.

Two players will take opposing sides of a single topic.

First up, Dani will face off against Janet.

We're talking the pros and cons of capes in this round

called Cloak and Drag Her!

(laughing)

Capes look super cool while being functional,

but if you were out fighting crime, would it be worth

risking getting caught in a revolving door,

or is an instantly Instagrammable appearance worth

the inconvenience?

Dani, your thoughts.

‐ [Dani] Oh, well, capes are fabulous.

I mean, let's get real here.

I have a cape right here.

(laughing)

This is not how you put on a cape.

‐ More of a shawl, more of a shawl.

‐ It's more of a shawl.

This nation has been founded, the pillars are people

that wore capes.

Royalty, pimps and vampires, okay?

Would you rather die a hero, or would you rather

die fabulous?

‐ [Baron] Okay, yeah, Janet, what do you think?

‐ I want to say, Dani, you did an extraordinary job

of defending something indefensible, so outstanding work.

I think The Incredibles kind of took care

of my business for me.

They have a really great sequence in their film.

I'm acting like they're real people who exist in the world

and not cartoon characters.

They talk about how dangerous, and Baron, you mentioned

how dangerous the cape is, or, as I like to call them,

neck blankets.

Think about some of our heroes, of our everyday,

wearing a cape.

Like a firefighter.

Dashing into the flaming building as his cloak

catches fire.

‐ Even sexier.

‐ The paramedic, like, "I tried to administer CPR,

but he choked on my cape."

I feel like if you can't apply it to our superheroes

in real life, you probably shouldn't apply it

to superheroes.

‐ [Baron] Oh, interesting, interesting.

(applause)

‐ [Mayim] I own a tee shirt that has a cape attached to it,

so I'm a cape person.

However, your arguments were amazing, and I think

I'm not a cape person anymore.

‐ Oh, no!

It's dangerous!

‐ Just because I really respect the crusade that

she went on, I'm gonna have to go with Janet Varney

on this one.

(applause)

Okay, Mayim and Amber, you are now up.

Which fictional teenager would make the best lab partner?

This is Bunsen Buddies.

Mayim, who is your lab pal?

‐ Peter Parker.

Because ...

‐ AKA Spiderman.

‐ [Mayim] Peter Parker is an actual science nerd.

We see him already immersed in the world of labs,

bunsen burners, things like that, and also again,

just playing off the fact that he's actually

a character known for his book smarts.

‐ Yeah.

‐ He belongs with me in a lab.

‐ [Amber] Hard to beat.

‐ Okay, all right.

‐ Hard to beat.

‐ I know that you say it's hard to beat, Amber,

but which kiddo would you pick‐o?

‐ [Amber] Well, my kid is also known for being smart.

It's Hermione Granger from Harry Potter.

(applause)

I mean, she would take extensive notes, she follows

the rules, she for sure read the textbook over summer break.

Peter Parker doesn't have time to do that kind of stuff.

‐ Sorry, he's busy saving the world.

‐ [Amber] Right?

But then, if everything goes to shit because you're bad

at science, you can just use magic.

(laughing)

‐ Seriously, right now?

Seriously?

‐ Yeah!

And, okay, okay, and finally, Hermione has really great hair

that I bet smells good.

‐ Seriously, right now?

(laughing)

Seriously?

‐ [Baron] I do, I wanna hear from Dani and Janet

on this too.

‐ Me too.

‐ Peer review what you've heard.

‐ Good smelling hair, or good scientist?

‐ I mean, I lean more into the Spideyverse.

I think it would be fun to have Bruce Banner around.

‐ It seems dangerous, honestly.

He's dangerous!

‐ [Mayim] He's also not a teenager!

‐ I would go with teenaged Bruce Banner.

(laughing)

‐ Anything to add, Dani?

‐ [Dani] You know, the Harry Potter world, it should

be called Hermione.

She has saved them so many times.

‐ Yeah.

‐ [Baron] Okay, for sticking to the science,

I have to go with Mayim on this one, everybody.

(applause)

(laughing)

‐ Okay, Janet and Dani, you are now on deck.

We all know teamwork makes the dream work, especially

when it comes time to battle.

Which superpowered team would you want getting your back?

This round is called Squad Assembly Required.

Janet, who is your team?

‐ I would feel disloyal if I didn't say maybe the gang

from The Legend of Korra.

It's a wonderful team of people.

Obviously, all these people are big fans.

(laughing)

That's some of the gang up there.

They can bend fire, water,

earth, air,

lava, blood,

all kinds of stuff, and they also have these amazing

animals that are combinations of animals.

So you've got polar bear dogs, fire ferrets.

If you know this universe, you agree with me.

‐ Fire ferrets?

‐ Oh yeah, they look like red pandas, kind of.

‐ [Amber] That's awesome.

‐ [Baron] Yes, yes.

‐ But that's an extraordinary group of vastly

diverse people, and that's who I'd want fighting with me.

‐ Okay Dani, which team would you go with?

‐ I have to go with the Z Fighters from Dragonball Z.

Does anyone on Legend of Korra have their own Macy's

Thanksgiving Day balloon?

Goku does.

(laughing)

Goku is super saiyan, an icon, a bad dad.

These are reasons why we love him.

Has Legend of Korra given us any quotable lines?

Dragonball Z has given us, "It's over 9000",

and, "This isn't even my final form!".

‐ I say that all the time.

‐ Yes!

‐ I do say that all the time, all the time.

‐ That's from us.

‐ All the toime.

Is that how, the toime?

‐ Legend of Korra isn't even memed.

This is the most memed show on Black Twitter, I swear.

(laughing)

‐ [Baron] Maybe.

‐ Piccolo is a black icon.

‐ [Mayim] Well, I have to say that that is my children's

favorite show, for all of the reasons you said.

‐ [Amber] Goku makes me think about that yoghurt

that you can just squeeze into your mouth and not

have to use a spoon.

‐ Oh, Go‐Gurt.

‐ [Amber] It's like, just get a Goku.

(applause)

‐ Okay, I'm gonna have to Goku my own way

and go with Dani Fernandez on this one.

(applause)

Deebs, I think it is time for some messages.

‐ [DB‐8] Ooh, prepping full screen display of Baron's

outgoing text messages in three, two‐

‐ No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no,

not those messages.

This is The Great Debate, and we'll be back

after these messages.

(applause)

We

Our four panelists are gonna get on their feet

for some action debates.

Dani and Amber are in our next round, called;

It's Not Easy Being Greenscreened.

We're going to throw the two of you into a couple

of fictional worlds through the magic of green screen.

This round's winner is whoever is the most convincing.

At every high school graduation, someone gives a speech

congratulating the student body.

But some kids have more to deal with than math problems.

It's time for graduation speeches, Dani.

Into the green screen area, if you please.

(applause)

Xavier Academy is an institute full of super powered

students who spend their days learning social studies

and sentinel evasion strategies.

Dani, whenever you're ready, please give these mini mutants

the send off they deserve.

‐ Graduating class for Xavier's School for the Gifted,

you did it.

Thanks to your hard work, we have made seven movies,

three of which were good.

I know it hasn't been easy.

Your bodies are constantly changing.

I know when y'all try to make out, you end up freezing

the other person to death, but on the plus side,

no one got pregnant, right, Jean?

You all have survived so much, and I can't wait

for you to get out there and join the real world,

where you will no doubt be treated like a person of color.

(laughing)

Excelsior bitch, thank you.

(applause)

‐ Wow.

‐ Welcome Dani Fernandez back, Dani, thank you very much.

(applause)

Next up is Amber.

Will you please head on through those bay doors?

‐ Yes.

(applause)

‐ [Baron] Amber Nash is gonna be talking to the kids

from a high school that's in the Nightmare

on the Elm Street series; Springwood High.

They dodge balls by day and Freddy at night.

(applause)

Take it away, Amber Nash!

‐ Wow guys, you made it to graduation.

Thanks for all being here, so there's ...

There's only five of you left.

I'm sorry all your friends are dead, but you know,

you wouldn't have hung out with them after high school

anyway, so it's probably for the best.

Really, the most important thing is to always follow

your dreams.

Oh, no, wait, no, don't do that.

(laughing)

Well, I assume you're all so tired because you've been

up late studying for finals.

Now, come up and get your diploma.

(laughing)

(applause)

‐ Wow.

‐ Amber Nash, everybody.

‐ Did you guys see how scared I looked?

‐ [Janet] Amber, that finish was so strong.

It was like the end of an '80s movie.

You froze in fear, and then the credits started

to come up.

‐ Those are called acting chops.

‐ [Baron] Yeah.

Because I know and I feel that she is very gifted,

I'm going with Dani Fernandez on this one, everybody.

(applause)

There are certain truths.

One plus one equals two, the sky is blue, laser

blasters go pew‐pew‐pew‐pew‐pew.

‐ Just pew‐pew, pew‐pew.

‐ Depends on the laser blaster.

‐ Pew‐pew‐pew‐pew‐pew‐pew‐pew.

‐ Pew‐pew.

‐ [Baron] Okay.

When it comes to movies, taste, of course, is subjective.

Mayim and Janet will defend movies

from their harshest critics in this segment called

Dissenting Opinions.

Mayim, will you head on over to our lovely podium over here?

There is a lot wrong with the Man of Steel as a film,

but let's let Mayim remind us what makes this movie great.

If you please.

‐ I think that this Superman is the closest thing

to the Superman of my childhood,

which was Christopher Reeve.

That feeling you get, especially when you're a young person

and you're in love with Superman, this felt the closest.

Is this movie terrible?

Yes.

(laughing)

‐ Oh, please do tell us.

‐ The movie begins with Jar‐El riding a dragon,

which is awesome, and then the villains, lest you forget,

are encased in what look like giant penises

before being shot into space.

(laughing)

‐ How?

‐ Wow.

‐ [Mayim] That's just the first ten minutes, ladies.

(laughing)

‐ [Baron] You may take a seat.

(applause)

That was really super, man.

Janet, will you head over to this podium?

‐ I have decided to defend

the Halle Berry vehicle; Catwoman.

(audience laughs and groans)

All right, a lot of people haven't seen this movie,

so they don't know that it's just a long commercial

for Friskies.

That's what's weird about it.

No, actually, and this is true, she gets her powers

from kissing a magical cat.

That's not a joke, that is how she becomes a super hero.

Okay, enjoy that.

(laughing)

I just want to say quickly, what's holding what up?

Like, is the belt holding the bra?

I don't know.

Yeah, we laugh, but she looks amazing in that cat suit,

so good job on that.

Now, fantastic cast in the movie,

especially the people out of focus, who don't speak.

(laughing)

Does that look familiar to anybody?

(applause)

Oh my god.

So, that's Catwoman.

‐ [Baron] Really fantastic, yes, thank you very much.

(applause)

Well, both fighters obviously battled for their movie.

DB‐8, do you have any thoughts?

‐ I don't get human's fascinations with cats,

like the pointy ears and the big eyes

and the squishy widdle face ...

Okay, I get it.

‐ [Baron] Okay, all right, well, because I think

she must still be getting residuals for this,

I'm going to go with Janet Varney, with Catwoman.

‐ Ah!

Wow!

‐ All right, next up, four women enter, one woman leaves

as we get ready for the ultimate championship.

We'll be right back after this commercial break.

(applause)

And we're back.

All of tonight's guests were great debaters,

but only two will square off in the final round.

Deebs, please tell us who our final debaters are.

‐ Our final debaters are Mayim and Dani.

‐ [Baron] Oh.

(applause)

Gandalf and Dumbledore have a lot in common;

both hang out with child sized people,

both have amazing beards, and neither has ever known

the touch of a woman.

(laughing)

But which will win this war of the wizards?

Dani is first.

Let the final debattle begin.

(applause)

‐ Dumbledore is the best wizard because he has an army

named after him, he fights evil and teaches teenagers.

Like, gross.

He has a pet phoenix, he is an animal rescuer,

and maybe a vegan.

I can't prove it, but it's out there.

He stood up to the evilest organization; the muggle PTA,

he has the greatest superpower of all; summer's off.

Young Dumbledore is a hunky Jude Law.

In conclusion; thank you.

(applause)

(laughing)

‐ Mayim, take it away.

‐ This is going to be a very emotional plea for Gandalf

because this is one of my favorite characters.

With Gandalf, you get two wizards for the price of one.

Because he is Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White.

He doesn't die, he reboots and comes back

in a blinding light, he beat the snot out of a Balrog.

It's a big deal, if you want to go back, okay.

He has a cool pipe, and all of the halfling leaf

that he can smoke.

(laughing)

He can blow smoke rings in the shape of pirate ships,

he's a transgenerational wizard.

I'm not done.

He's always the tallest one in the room, I love him.

(laughing)

And also, this isn't really a fair fight because

when two old white guys fight, no one wins.

See the upcoming election!

Okay, whoa.

(applause)

‐ And he has a great flat iron.

(laughing)

‐ He's rocking the center part, rocking the center part.

‐ Dani, have any rebuttals to offer?

‐ [Dani] Yeah, I mean, Gandalf gives the hard work

to the tiniest and most vulnerable race.

‐ [Mayim] Dumbledore gets children to fight his battle.

No better.

‐ Why not use the flying eagles to get to Mordor?

I mean, we've asked this multiple times.

‐ They come when they're needed.

(laughing)

‐ Even if I didn't already agree, I am so worried

about Mayim's wellbeing, emotionally, if she doesn't win.

(laughing)

I think we need to look out for her health right now

and make sure she wins this.

‐ [Baron] Okay.

Well, because he smokes the competition, I'm gonna

have to go with Gandalf, and Mayim Bialik on the win

for this debate!

(applause)

Mayim Bialik, you are the winner of the great debate.

Whoo!

This has been The Great Debate.

Don't forget there are full versions of our debates

and extra topics online.

That's all for the show.

Thank you to our panel for tackling the burningest

questions of the galaxy, and thank you for watching.

Good night.

(applause)

(uplifting music)