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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,587 --> 00:00:29,587 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:39,523 --> 00:00:40,992 Doris likes mine just the way it is. 3 00:00:41,025 --> 00:00:43,360 I told you to stop talkin' to me 'bout that. 4 00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:44,361 Why the hell you do 5 00:00:44,394 --> 00:00:45,997 somethin' like that to your kid? 6 00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:48,331 I was that way, my daddy's that way. 7 00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,333 My daddy's daddy's that way. 8 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:52,870 And it's sanitary. 9 00:00:54,038 --> 00:00:56,007 It's a goddamn myth. 10 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,340 It looks good too. 11 00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,043 Just ask Charlene. 12 00:00:59,076 --> 00:01:01,045 Charlene don't know shit. 13 00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:03,214 Circumcision cuts off 1,000 nerve endings 14 00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:04,714 and some kinda natural lubricant. 15 00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,384 Now that'll make fuckin' Charlene actually tolerable. 16 00:01:08,718 --> 00:01:10,221 Why does everybody do it then? 17 00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:13,523 Well some guy who invented Corn flakes. 18 00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:15,026 Probably to keep kids from masturbatin'. 19 00:01:15,059 --> 00:01:20,031 C'mon. 20 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,868 That him? 21 00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:27,905 Yeah, the blood trail leads that way, let's go. 22 00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:45,923 Whoa, what the? 23 00:01:47,091 --> 00:01:49,927 You think a deer did this? 24 00:01:49,961 --> 00:01:53,396 Deer? 25 00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:54,598 What the hell? 26 00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,101 I do not know. 27 00:02:03,107 --> 00:02:05,243 Whoa. 28 00:02:05,276 --> 00:02:06,310 What is that? 29 00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:11,082 - Did you hear that? - What? 30 00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:12,449 - By the trees. - Nope. 31 00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:19,623 Oh jeez, there's more than one. 32 00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,292 So we grab that thing and split. 33 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,095 Could be worth money. 34 00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:31,501 Oh shit. 35 00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:40,610 This isn't how the gypsy said I'd go. 36 00:04:28,119 --> 00:04:29,887 The universe is endless. 37 00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,590 Cold and impartial. 38 00:04:35,592 --> 00:04:38,763 We exist because we fought to be here. 39 00:04:41,265 --> 00:04:42,933 The universe gave us a chance. 40 00:04:44,101 --> 00:04:49,106 We grabbed hold, planted our flag in the ground 41 00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:50,474 and said, "We belong." 42 00:04:52,443 --> 00:04:55,112 Survival is fought for. 43 00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:00,284 Right now ladies and gentlemen, 44 00:05:01,452 --> 00:05:05,322 we are on a decaying planet of our own doing. 45 00:05:06,623 --> 00:05:07,958 Well one day, Earth 46 00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,128 will die 47 00:05:12,296 --> 00:05:17,301 and we as a species will need to find 48 00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:18,836 a new home. 49 00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:24,275 Now greedy corporations and their puppets in Congress 50 00:05:24,308 --> 00:05:26,110 are only speeding things up, 51 00:05:26,143 --> 00:05:28,479 so that's why we must act now! 52 00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:33,117 Invest in a Stars with Skaggs project 53 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,286 for intergalactic travel. 54 00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:38,456 Together, we can discover unknown pockets of the universe 55 00:05:38,489 --> 00:05:42,960 and need mankind to a new pine-fresh home. 56 00:05:42,993 --> 00:05:46,530 Your money will make for a better universe! 57 00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:51,836 Hi, Kenneth. 58 00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,004 Hi. 59 00:05:54,038 --> 00:05:55,638 What the hell are you doing? 60 00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:59,642 I was just rehearsing for a future presentation 61 00:05:59,676 --> 00:06:02,880 for my space travel company Stars with Skaggs. 62 00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:06,183 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 63 00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:09,820 Have you tested the equipment? 64 00:06:09,854 --> 00:06:11,822 I started to. 65 00:06:11,856 --> 00:06:13,824 I have a lecture in 30 minutes 66 00:06:13,858 --> 00:06:17,727 and the sound must be an echo to the senses. 67 00:06:19,530 --> 00:06:20,364 Right. 68 00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:23,033 And have you replaced the bulbs? 69 00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,504 You didn't say anything about replacing the bulbs. 70 00:06:26,537 --> 00:06:28,339 I sent you an email last night 71 00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:29,840 and I know you were on your computer 72 00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:31,575 because of your masturbation problem. 73 00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:34,378 I wouldn't call it problem. 74 00:06:35,212 --> 00:06:36,547 Then where are my bulbs? 75 00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:40,050 Yeah okay, I'll get right on it. 76 00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:44,721 And the log report: stay late and finish it, okay? 77 00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,526 Actually Kenneth, I can't. 78 00:06:48,559 --> 00:06:49,692 It's my birthday today 79 00:06:49,726 --> 00:06:51,862 and my friends and I are goin' on... 80 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:55,065 I don't care about your birthday, okay?! 81 00:06:55,099 --> 00:06:57,700 You're my assistant and you're supposed to assist me. 82 00:06:57,734 --> 00:06:59,203 So do you wanna keep your job 83 00:06:59,236 --> 00:07:02,239 or do you wanna drink Mai Tais with your friends? 84 00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:08,579 - Mai Tais. - Huh? 85 00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:13,117 Oh I'm sorry, was that not an echo to the senses? 86 00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:16,086 Mai Tais. 87 00:07:18,422 --> 00:07:19,924 Have a good lecture, Kenneth. 88 00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:23,594 Hey, wait! 89 00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:25,396 - Come here. - Whoa, ow. 90 00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:27,231 God, unhand me. 91 00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:28,599 Give that to me, you. 92 00:07:30,267 --> 00:07:33,270 You will never work in a planetarium again! 93 00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:40,743 - Jesus, interesting. - Hey, hey. 94 00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:41,612 The coat. 95 00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:45,282 Coat? 96 00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:47,251 Here's your coat. 97 00:07:47,284 --> 00:07:48,118 Huh, huh? 98 00:07:49,286 --> 00:07:50,621 Hey, pick it up. 99 00:07:53,624 --> 00:07:54,792 - C'mon. - Yeah, okay. 100 00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:57,962 But I'm leavin' it there. 101 00:07:57,995 --> 00:07:59,096 Thank you! 102 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,101 Oh shit. 103 00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:06,170 - Hi. Oh oh, I'm sorry. - Oh jeez. 104 00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:09,440 - Pardon me. Sorry, Tracy. - Watch it, man. 105 00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:10,441 Got a lotta momentum. 106 00:08:10,474 --> 00:08:11,275 - I'll see ya. - Bye, Brian. 107 00:08:11,308 --> 00:08:12,943 Never. 108 00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:13,978 Oh my god. 109 00:08:19,683 --> 00:08:20,517 What the? 110 00:08:21,986 --> 00:08:23,153 You gotta be fuckin'. 111 00:08:23,187 --> 00:08:24,788 Fuck my life. 112 00:08:24,822 --> 00:08:26,523 You fucking fuckface. 113 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:30,861 Not you. 114 00:09:06,530 --> 00:09:08,832 I don't need to stand anymore, right? 115 00:09:08,866 --> 00:09:10,834 - Cheese. - No, you're good. 116 00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:13,003 We were not in-sync on that one. 117 00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:16,173 - No. - No. 118 00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,709 - Ooh, but it's adorable. - Ooh. 119 00:09:21,545 --> 00:09:23,714 Hey, all right. 120 00:09:24,715 --> 00:09:25,849 Thanks. 121 00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:27,351 - Alex. - Stop! 122 00:09:27,384 --> 00:09:29,186 - Thank you. - Just a little. 123 00:09:30,387 --> 00:09:33,524 - To Brian's birthday! - Here, here. 124 00:09:33,557 --> 00:09:36,860 And to the last Leonid meteor shower together. 125 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:38,028 What, the last? 126 00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:40,064 Yeah, the last year of college. 127 00:09:40,097 --> 00:09:42,032 We might not have time to make a yearly trip 128 00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:43,734 once our careers take off. 129 00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,370 We could always find time. 130 00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:48,038 I don't know, man. 131 00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:50,708 You'll be busy blowin' shit up at NASA. 132 00:09:50,741 --> 00:09:53,043 I'll be savin' lives in the OR. 133 00:09:53,077 --> 00:09:56,747 Jess fighting deforestation in Guatemala. 134 00:09:56,781 --> 00:09:57,748 Alex? 135 00:09:58,749 --> 00:10:00,384 - Well Alex might be free. - Yeah. 136 00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,220 Hey, Louis. 137 00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,389 You know, I'm really disappointed in you. 138 00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:07,391 This is our thing, man. 139 00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:10,427 This has been our thing since we were in elementary school. 140 00:10:12,764 --> 00:10:14,231 The real world can't take that away. 141 00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:17,401 My dad says the real world 142 00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:20,070 is an unforgiving thief of happiness. 143 00:10:20,104 --> 00:10:23,107 And knowing my dad, I believe it. 144 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:26,243 Well, I hereby declare this not be 145 00:10:26,276 --> 00:10:28,245 the last Leonid meteor shower, 146 00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:30,280 but a yearly continuation until the day we die. 147 00:10:30,314 --> 00:10:31,949 And I concur. 148 00:10:31,982 --> 00:10:33,584 Yay. 149 00:10:33,617 --> 00:10:34,418 Duke it. 150 00:10:34,451 --> 00:10:35,586 Yup, yup. 151 00:10:35,619 --> 00:10:37,121 - What, what yeah! - Oh. 152 00:10:38,622 --> 00:10:42,292 - Lest we forget. - To our yearly meteor break! 153 00:10:42,326 --> 00:10:43,594 I would live to come, you guys. 154 00:10:43,627 --> 00:10:45,764 Oh Frederick, how are you darling? 155 00:10:45,797 --> 00:10:48,265 But if I don't take care of my plants, who's going to? 156 00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:49,266 This year is bad. 157 00:10:49,299 --> 00:10:51,101 We can't have little Olaf 158 00:10:51,135 --> 00:10:52,970 freezing his little butt off, can we? 159 00:10:54,972 --> 00:10:56,273 Hey man, yeah. 160 00:10:56,306 --> 00:11:01,145 Things have been a little, you know. 161 00:11:01,813 --> 00:11:03,815 Yes! 162 00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:10,154 Yeah, this year is bad. 163 00:11:10,187 --> 00:11:12,322 Yo Brian, d'you see this shit? 164 00:11:12,356 --> 00:11:14,793 20, motherfucker. 165 00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:16,126 - 21. - No no no no. 166 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,461 Fuck, man. 167 00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:18,629 You fuckin'. No no, you ain't takin' that shit. 168 00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:19,463 Dude, this year's bad. 169 00:11:19,496 --> 00:11:20,631 No, no. 170 00:11:20,664 --> 00:11:21,665 No! 171 00:11:21,698 --> 00:11:22,666 Faster, people. 172 00:11:22,699 --> 00:11:23,967 We're on a deadline. 173 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:24,968 Can you bring that tree over here? 174 00:11:25,002 --> 00:11:26,470 What are you doing? 175 00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:28,338 I told you 15 minutes ago, that's not how you do that. 176 00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:29,473 You guys, we're opening the garden. 177 00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:30,674 This year is bad. 178 00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:32,476 C'mon, bring the plant. 179 00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:33,812 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 180 00:11:33,845 --> 00:11:34,978 Ow. 181 00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:36,480 All right, 182 00:11:36,513 --> 00:11:37,481 so we're just gonna have to make a small incision. 183 00:11:37,514 --> 00:11:38,649 It's gonna be about two inches. 184 00:11:38,682 --> 00:11:39,983 - Incision? - Shh shh shh. 185 00:11:40,017 --> 00:11:41,820 It's better if you don't speak, 'kay? 186 00:11:41,853 --> 00:11:42,686 This year's bad. 187 00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:47,491 Oh shit. 188 00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:50,829 How's my ass look from back there, guys? 189 00:11:50,862 --> 00:11:51,662 This year's bad, man. 190 00:11:51,695 --> 00:11:52,496 This year's bad. 191 00:11:52,529 --> 00:11:53,832 Oh, fuck! 192 00:11:53,865 --> 00:11:55,666 Oh, do you feel cool with your chainsaws? 193 00:11:55,699 --> 00:11:56,868 I wish I could be there, 194 00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:58,035 but I'm in the middle of saving the forest. 195 00:11:58,068 --> 00:11:59,403 This year's bad. 196 00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:05,008 My mother was right about you! 197 00:12:07,044 --> 00:12:08,545 This year's bad. 198 00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:13,083 Dude, last night was fuckin' epic. 199 00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:15,719 This year's bad. 200 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,561 This year's good. 201 00:13:16,948 --> 00:13:18,282 "Happy birthday, son. 202 00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:20,284 "Your mother and I could not be more proud. 203 00:13:20,317 --> 00:13:23,086 "30 years old with your eyes still on the prize. 204 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,588 "Don't let it bother you that Elon Musk 205 00:13:24,621 --> 00:13:28,993 "sold his first company for $300 million at the age of 26. 206 00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,595 "Your mother just informed me 207 00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:33,096 "that I shouldn't have written that last part, 208 00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:36,935 "but I'm using pen and don't have time to buy another card. 209 00:13:36,968 --> 00:13:38,268 "Just know that we love you 210 00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:39,938 "and enjoy this gift with your friends. 211 00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:40,772 "I did a little research. 212 00:13:40,805 --> 00:13:42,639 "It's Elon's favorite." 213 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,108 Aww, dad. 214 00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:50,147 Gonna get... 215 00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:51,448 Hello? 216 00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:10,969 You didn't say shit to me, all right? 217 00:14:11,002 --> 00:14:12,804 I mean it's not like you. 218 00:14:12,837 --> 00:14:15,305 I thought you knew. 219 00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:17,140 No baby, I swear. 220 00:14:17,174 --> 00:14:18,709 I swear we had this conversation. 221 00:14:20,677 --> 00:14:22,312 'Cause all of you didn't. 222 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:24,983 Oh surprise, man. 223 00:14:25,016 --> 00:14:26,516 I was gonna surprise you. 224 00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:27,517 I thought you knew. 225 00:14:29,219 --> 00:14:31,154 - Surprise me? - No, that's... 226 00:14:31,188 --> 00:14:32,322 Are you kidding me? 227 00:14:32,356 --> 00:14:33,657 What kinda fucking surprise is that? 228 00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:34,993 You leave me alone for those little monsters? 229 00:14:35,026 --> 00:14:36,660 - I told you last month. - No, you didn't. 230 00:14:36,693 --> 00:14:37,996 I did. 231 00:14:38,029 --> 00:14:39,329 You never help me anyway 232 00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:41,498 and now you suddenly disappear and you leave me alone 233 00:14:41,531 --> 00:14:43,166 to go drink with your high school buddies. 234 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,501 I am alone in this. 235 00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:47,839 Well, I'm here. 236 00:14:47,872 --> 00:14:49,007 Hello? 237 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:49,874 Hello? 238 00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:55,345 Brian Skaggs! 239 00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:58,850 Has it seriously been since my magical wedding day? 240 00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:00,517 - Hug me. - Yay! 241 00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,354 How's LA, man? 242 00:15:04,388 --> 00:15:05,188 Buildin' rockets yet? 243 00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:07,357 Yeah, I mean almost. 244 00:15:07,391 --> 00:15:09,093 I'm goin' through the right steps. 245 00:15:10,061 --> 00:15:12,229 How's Maggie and the twins? 246 00:15:12,262 --> 00:15:14,564 - That was her on the phone. - Yeah? 247 00:15:14,598 --> 00:15:15,532 Claims that I didn't tell her 248 00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:17,035 I was leaving for the weekend. 249 00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:17,869 I told her. 250 00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:21,204 I totally told her. 251 00:15:21,238 --> 00:15:23,407 She's still recovering from the episiotomy, 252 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,909 so she's a little. 253 00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:29,379 The doctors made a slit in her perineum, 254 00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:31,214 the space between the vagina and anus, 255 00:15:31,248 --> 00:15:33,885 so post partum sex is. 256 00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,552 Yeah. 257 00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:37,387 And the twins, I love them. 258 00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:40,223 - Yeah? - But then I think, do I 259 00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:42,559 or am I just saying that because it's expected of me? 260 00:15:42,592 --> 00:15:44,896 It's just you know, I need structure 261 00:15:44,929 --> 00:15:47,065 and babies give fuck all about structure. 262 00:15:47,098 --> 00:15:48,398 They're anti-structure. 263 00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:51,102 Chaos in diapers, but I love them. 264 00:15:52,103 --> 00:15:54,072 Everyone says I should. 265 00:15:54,105 --> 00:15:55,773 They just make me a little. 266 00:16:00,812 --> 00:16:02,446 - Jesus. - Oh yeah. 267 00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:04,414 Not what you see on the Christmas cards. 268 00:16:08,953 --> 00:16:10,420 Old wiring. 269 00:16:10,454 --> 00:16:12,456 Speakin' of old wiring, how's your love life? 270 00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,623 Was that a dick joke? 271 00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:19,596 Holy shit, Maggie never lets me touch this stuff. 272 00:16:19,629 --> 00:16:20,464 This stuff is good. 273 00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:23,266 Well, my dick. 274 00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:25,602 Thank you for asking, by the way, 275 00:16:25,635 --> 00:16:29,439 continues to be dry and lonely. 276 00:16:29,473 --> 00:16:33,978 My game is of the non-LeBron variety. 277 00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:36,948 Well, maybe this time you can finish 278 00:16:36,981 --> 00:16:39,117 what you tried to start with Jess eight years ago. 279 00:16:39,150 --> 00:16:41,152 Jess, what? 280 00:16:41,185 --> 00:16:42,954 No, get outta town. 281 00:16:42,987 --> 00:16:44,122 Jess? 282 00:16:44,155 --> 00:16:45,123 Please. 283 00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:46,791 We're just friends, dawg. 284 00:16:46,824 --> 00:16:47,691 Naw, naw. 285 00:16:51,162 --> 00:16:52,130 Are you having a stroke? 286 00:16:54,999 --> 00:16:56,000 Speak of the devil. 287 00:17:00,004 --> 00:17:01,505 Screw you, Maggie. 288 00:17:09,379 --> 00:17:11,182 Happy escape from the womb day, old man. 289 00:17:21,058 --> 00:17:22,526 - Hi, Jess. - Hey. 290 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,061 Jess, look at you bringin' me 291 00:17:26,530 --> 00:17:29,332 a handsome hipster in a Tesla. 292 00:17:29,366 --> 00:17:32,335 Now, this is a farm! 293 00:17:32,369 --> 00:17:35,705 A little red barn, a ducky pond, 294 00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:37,507 a cabin. 295 00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,709 I love it here. 296 00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:47,018 Brian, my soulmate's mate. 297 00:17:47,051 --> 00:17:50,554 Brian, Jess has told me so much. 298 00:17:50,587 --> 00:17:54,192 Brian: brilliant engineer, 299 00:17:54,225 --> 00:17:56,560 best of friend. 300 00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:58,863 This is my boyfriend, Zachary. 301 00:17:58,896 --> 00:18:01,199 - Your boyfriend? - Louis. 302 00:18:01,232 --> 00:18:05,036 Louis, Jess has told me so much. 303 00:18:05,069 --> 00:18:10,041 Louis: brilliant surgeon, best of friend. 304 00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:11,209 He's a people person. 305 00:18:11,242 --> 00:18:13,410 This place is bahupada. 306 00:18:15,246 --> 00:18:16,247 Is that Hindi? 307 00:18:17,248 --> 00:18:19,749 Did I just speak Hindi? 308 00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:21,718 Sorry. 309 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,386 Lived in West Bengal for two years 310 00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:26,224 bringing irrigation technology to the dry lands. 311 00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:28,759 Sometimes I just slip right back into it. 312 00:18:29,927 --> 00:18:30,761 Right. 313 00:18:32,096 --> 00:18:33,563 Lemme show you where you're gonna put your bag. 314 00:18:33,597 --> 00:18:34,631 Namaste, Louis. 315 00:18:35,599 --> 00:18:37,567 Love you. 316 00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:38,568 Love you. 317 00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,104 Brian. 318 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:44,108 - Hey. - Hey. 319 00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:49,247 Missed you. 320 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,249 Yeah, it's crazy that we're back here. 321 00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:52,582 Yeah, finally. 322 00:18:52,616 --> 00:18:53,918 I guess y'all just couldn't pass up 323 00:18:53,951 --> 00:18:55,920 the opportunity to watch me wither and die. 324 00:18:55,953 --> 00:18:58,588 - 'Cause you're 30. - 'Cause I'm 30. 325 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:04,929 Zachary is... 326 00:19:04,962 --> 00:19:06,931 Oh yeah, he couldn't wait to meet you 327 00:19:06,964 --> 00:19:09,267 'cause I've just been goin' on and on about you. 328 00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,102 Oh, on and on. 329 00:19:11,135 --> 00:19:13,271 He's the head of our non-profit. 330 00:19:13,304 --> 00:19:15,940 - He's your boss? - He's my boss. 331 00:19:15,973 --> 00:19:17,975 A Tiki bar?! 332 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:20,945 I love Polynesian culture! 333 00:19:20,978 --> 00:19:22,612 He's excitable. 334 00:19:22,646 --> 00:19:24,282 So tell me about you. 335 00:19:24,315 --> 00:19:26,449 Last I heard, you were working at a planetarium. 336 00:19:26,483 --> 00:19:28,953 Yes, I was doing that. 337 00:19:28,986 --> 00:19:30,021 But I outgrew that. 338 00:19:31,155 --> 00:19:33,291 - Did you quit? - No. 339 00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:34,959 - No no no no no. - Jesus, Brian. 340 00:19:34,992 --> 00:19:36,294 Yeah, I did. 341 00:19:36,327 --> 00:19:37,494 But look. 342 00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:39,462 D'you ever finish anything you start? 343 00:19:39,496 --> 00:19:41,498 What've I never finished? 344 00:19:47,004 --> 00:19:47,504 Hey. 345 00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:52,176 Take your time. 346 00:19:55,379 --> 00:19:59,150 Uh oh, hide the women and children. 347 00:19:59,183 --> 00:20:01,185 That enough beer? 348 00:20:01,218 --> 00:20:02,053 No. 349 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,689 Like we never left. 350 00:20:15,532 --> 00:20:16,666 Cool if I VenMo You? 351 00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:17,534 For what? 352 00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,404 These tickets to a shit show. 353 00:20:37,721 --> 00:20:39,522 Alice, come look at this. 354 00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:41,192 Chum. 355 00:20:41,225 --> 00:20:43,693 You're really gonna make me call you that? 356 00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:46,529 If you wanna catch a shark, you gotta chum the waters. 357 00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:48,366 Oh, we're not after a shark 358 00:20:48,399 --> 00:20:50,533 and we're in the middle of the country. 359 00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,203 Same logic applies. 360 00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:53,703 Fine, Chum. 361 00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:54,571 Look at this. 362 00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:04,748 It's blood. 363 00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:08,886 It's like staring into the cosmos. 364 00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,755 Blood cells were stars. 365 00:21:12,589 --> 00:21:14,392 It's kinda pretty 366 00:21:14,425 --> 00:21:16,927 the way you put that all sciency and poetic. 367 00:21:19,096 --> 00:21:20,563 Usually I trek alone. 368 00:21:20,597 --> 00:21:22,565 Apparently I need a smartypants 369 00:21:22,599 --> 00:21:24,068 do to their non-human nature of the job. 370 00:21:24,101 --> 00:21:26,070 What's worth all this debt? 371 00:21:26,103 --> 00:21:27,772 Don't matter what it is. 372 00:21:27,805 --> 00:21:29,940 What matters is our employer wants it back. 373 00:21:29,974 --> 00:21:31,242 So you're here to make sense of things 374 00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:33,077 so that I can eliminate things. 375 00:21:45,456 --> 00:21:46,457 It's so beautiful. 376 00:21:47,491 --> 00:21:49,927 So goddamn beautiful. 377 00:21:53,297 --> 00:21:55,632 To Brian, a brilliant gentleman. 378 00:21:55,665 --> 00:21:57,435 And relentless panty-dropper. 379 00:21:57,468 --> 00:21:59,270 Adjective and a noun. 380 00:22:00,637 --> 00:22:01,772 - Brian. - To Brian. 381 00:22:05,509 --> 00:22:08,112 Let's get drunk! 382 00:22:11,182 --> 00:22:13,451 Getting old sucks. 383 00:22:13,484 --> 00:22:16,487 Suddenly hydration has become very important. 384 00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:27,865 People call me a sir now. 385 00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:30,868 Do I look like a sir? 386 00:22:32,002 --> 00:22:33,003 Know what I hate? 387 00:22:34,671 --> 00:22:36,307 Nose hairs. 388 00:22:36,340 --> 00:22:37,842 I'll tell 'em, 389 00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,676 "I'm a sir in the sheets 390 00:22:40,511 --> 00:22:43,814 "and a mister on the streets." 391 00:22:43,848 --> 00:22:48,319 And hemorrhoids, those also suck. 392 00:22:48,352 --> 00:22:52,323 I say shit like, "The kids," and "You call that music? 393 00:22:52,356 --> 00:22:53,858 "I call that noise." 394 00:22:53,891 --> 00:22:57,694 I watched Fox News once and I liked it. 395 00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:00,663 Like I know they supposed to droop, 396 00:23:00,697 --> 00:23:03,834 but it's like my balls drop twice. 397 00:23:03,868 --> 00:23:06,070 I feel wasted. 398 00:23:10,574 --> 00:23:14,378 You had like one beer. 399 00:23:14,411 --> 00:23:16,013 He doesn't really drink that much 400 00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:17,515 and I told him when we get together, 401 00:23:17,548 --> 00:23:20,084 we're total lushes and he didn't wanna be left out. 402 00:23:22,219 --> 00:23:24,522 I feel like I can see my face 403 00:23:24,555 --> 00:23:27,057 wavin' to me from another state. 404 00:23:28,225 --> 00:23:29,059 Like a 405 00:23:31,228 --> 00:23:32,695 state of Wyoming. 406 00:23:32,729 --> 00:23:35,366 Hello, face from Wyoming. 407 00:23:35,399 --> 00:23:38,701 I usually shit on guys like ZDogg over here, 408 00:23:38,735 --> 00:23:41,539 but somehow this motherfucker makes it work. 409 00:23:41,572 --> 00:23:43,207 Pound it. 410 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,375 Beer pound! 411 00:23:44,408 --> 00:23:46,410 - Beer pound. - Beer pound. 412 00:23:49,780 --> 00:23:50,881 Oh, oh. 413 00:23:50,915 --> 00:23:52,216 - Brian. - Fuck, I'm sorry. 414 00:23:52,249 --> 00:23:53,384 Brian Brian Brian Brian. 415 00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:54,552 Here, here, come here. 416 00:23:54,585 --> 00:23:56,053 Oh no, please don't touch me, man. 417 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,221 No no no no. 418 00:23:57,254 --> 00:23:58,721 Just help me pick the best one. 419 00:23:58,756 --> 00:24:00,224 Yeah, I really don't think I'm qualified for that. 420 00:24:00,257 --> 00:24:01,225 Okay, see look. 421 00:24:01,258 --> 00:24:03,060 In this one, I'm not fully erect, 422 00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:04,428 but I like my facial expression. 423 00:24:04,461 --> 00:24:07,398 However, in this one I'm rock solid, 424 00:24:07,431 --> 00:24:09,233 but what am I doin' with my lips? 425 00:24:09,266 --> 00:24:12,403 Oh yeah, no you got a landing strip there. 426 00:24:12,436 --> 00:24:14,071 Yeah, man. 427 00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,573 That's tough. 428 00:24:15,606 --> 00:24:18,275 I think probably the second one with the lips. 429 00:24:18,309 --> 00:24:19,109 Improve it. 430 00:24:19,143 --> 00:24:19,944 You could do that. 431 00:24:19,977 --> 00:24:20,778 You're right. 432 00:24:20,811 --> 00:24:22,079 Stellar cock. 433 00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,614 I know, right? 434 00:24:23,647 --> 00:24:24,949 All right, number two. 435 00:24:26,116 --> 00:24:28,953 So Jess likes that type of thing, huh? 436 00:24:28,986 --> 00:24:29,787 No. 437 00:24:29,820 --> 00:24:30,788 No, god not Jess. 438 00:24:32,957 --> 00:24:35,759 Ooh we're cool, right? 439 00:24:35,793 --> 00:24:39,964 I mean, dicks are just dicks and pics are just pics. 440 00:24:41,498 --> 00:24:43,801 Yeah whatever, man. 441 00:24:45,469 --> 00:24:46,804 It's all yours, Bri-town. 442 00:24:48,639 --> 00:24:50,307 Oh shit, my dick was out. 443 00:24:55,646 --> 00:24:57,181 Putting her down for that one. 444 00:24:59,316 --> 00:25:02,453 Never have I ever gotten a B in school. 445 00:25:02,486 --> 00:25:03,988 Nope. 446 00:25:05,522 --> 00:25:07,958 What, never got a B in school? 447 00:25:07,992 --> 00:25:10,494 Never got an A either. 448 00:25:10,527 --> 00:25:12,463 Really haven't got with it. 449 00:25:12,496 --> 00:25:13,797 In my school, we just did for participation. 450 00:25:13,831 --> 00:25:14,632 We had no grades. 451 00:25:14,665 --> 00:25:16,300 Okay okay okay. 452 00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:20,537 Never have I ever used grape jelly as a lubricant. 453 00:25:22,706 --> 00:25:24,508 And it worked "grape" 454 00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:28,479 You know that's a recipe for UTI, right? 455 00:25:28,512 --> 00:25:29,980 - Okay Bri, Bri. - To the kidneys and the liver 456 00:25:30,014 --> 00:25:31,315 and it can cause some serious damage. 457 00:25:31,348 --> 00:25:32,483 Your turn. 458 00:25:32,516 --> 00:25:33,317 - Oh, Brian's turn. - Brian's turn. 459 00:25:33,350 --> 00:25:34,318 ♪ Birthday Bri time ♪ 460 00:25:34,351 --> 00:25:35,185 ♪ Birthday Brian ♪ 461 00:25:35,219 --> 00:25:36,153 ♪ It's Brian's birthday ♪ 462 00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:38,489 ♪ Get on the Brian train ♪ 463 00:25:38,522 --> 00:25:39,657 Choo choo! 464 00:25:39,690 --> 00:25:41,158 You go go go go, say something. 465 00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:42,359 Say something. 466 00:25:44,061 --> 00:25:46,497 Never have I ever sent a dick pic to someone 467 00:25:46,530 --> 00:25:48,499 while my girlfriend was in the next room. 468 00:25:48,532 --> 00:25:51,068 Finger comin' down, drinkin'. 469 00:25:55,406 --> 00:25:57,007 No, I'm not drinkin'. 470 00:25:57,041 --> 00:25:58,175 Well this went downhill fast. 471 00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,343 What? 472 00:25:59,376 --> 00:26:01,178 - Oh whoa. - What is that? 473 00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:05,182 - What the hell just happened? - Oh, did I blackout already? 474 00:26:05,215 --> 00:26:06,350 It's just a power outage. 475 00:26:06,383 --> 00:26:08,185 From what? 476 00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,853 Guys, there's something wrong with my phone. 477 00:26:09,887 --> 00:26:11,722 I mean what could do that? 478 00:26:12,890 --> 00:26:13,891 Take out our phones. 479 00:26:15,225 --> 00:26:16,060 Here. 480 00:26:16,894 --> 00:26:18,529 I don't know. 481 00:26:18,562 --> 00:26:20,864 It could be an energy not confined to a local force, 482 00:26:20,898 --> 00:26:23,233 so it's something non-linear 483 00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,704 that would allow aperiodic behaviors. 484 00:26:26,737 --> 00:26:29,206 That sorta behavior is no longer acceptable 485 00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:30,407 In a dating world. 486 00:26:31,442 --> 00:26:33,377 I'm talkin' about multiple stable states; 487 00:26:33,410 --> 00:26:34,411 symmetry-breaking 488 00:26:36,747 --> 00:26:37,581 chaos. 489 00:26:38,749 --> 00:26:41,051 Well, I imagine all scientific theories 490 00:26:41,085 --> 00:26:43,921 are better expanded upon with the lights back on. 491 00:26:43,954 --> 00:26:45,923 Yeah, the fuse box is in the garage. 492 00:26:48,592 --> 00:26:50,561 All right, who wants to go with me? 493 00:26:50,594 --> 00:26:52,596 I'll go with you, bro. 494 00:26:53,765 --> 00:26:56,734 - Fantastic. - Fantastic, 495 00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:57,769 indeed. 496 00:26:59,103 --> 00:27:00,270 What the fuck, Bri? 497 00:27:00,304 --> 00:27:01,572 You totally threw me under the bus. 498 00:27:01,605 --> 00:27:02,740 Yeah? 499 00:27:02,774 --> 00:27:04,241 Well, that's how we do things in Bri-Town. 500 00:27:04,274 --> 00:27:05,409 What? 501 00:27:05,442 --> 00:27:06,744 Fuck. 502 00:27:06,778 --> 00:27:10,247 Your parents voted for Bush? 503 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,250 Hey, look you're cheating on my best friend. 504 00:27:13,283 --> 00:27:15,252 So don't try to take the moral high-ground now. 505 00:27:15,285 --> 00:27:17,421 Sending dick pics isn't cheating. 506 00:27:17,454 --> 00:27:19,089 It's like sending out your resume 507 00:27:19,123 --> 00:27:20,792 while you still have a job. 508 00:27:20,825 --> 00:27:23,795 I'm not actively working for another company. 509 00:27:23,828 --> 00:27:27,097 That's actively looking for another job. 510 00:27:27,131 --> 00:27:30,300 - That's pre-cheating. - Pre meaning before. 511 00:27:30,334 --> 00:27:31,770 Before cheating. 512 00:27:31,803 --> 00:27:33,103 Before. 513 00:27:33,137 --> 00:27:35,105 Well you better get outta my way 514 00:27:35,139 --> 00:27:38,942 before I make a fist and pre-punch you. 515 00:27:38,976 --> 00:27:42,814 Hey if Jess leaves me because of this, 516 00:27:42,847 --> 00:27:44,982 I will pre-find out where you live 517 00:27:45,015 --> 00:27:47,819 and I will pre-ruin your life. 518 00:27:48,986 --> 00:27:50,154 Yeah? 519 00:27:50,187 --> 00:27:52,322 Well I'll have pre-set booby traps waiting. 520 00:27:52,356 --> 00:27:53,991 And I'll have predicted that. 521 00:27:54,024 --> 00:27:55,993 - Pre-fuck you. - Pre-fuck you, man. 522 00:27:56,026 --> 00:27:57,327 - Pre-fuck you. - I'll pre-fuck you. 523 00:27:57,361 --> 00:27:58,996 - No. - Pre-fuck you. 524 00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:04,501 To be continued. 525 00:28:09,706 --> 00:28:11,975 Hey, you all right? 526 00:28:12,009 --> 00:28:14,344 I don't know why I'm surprised. 527 00:28:14,378 --> 00:28:17,147 I chose Zach for the same reason I chose every guy. 528 00:28:17,181 --> 00:28:18,348 Knew it wouldn't last. 529 00:28:19,683 --> 00:28:22,186 Yeah 'cause you've always been in love with Brian. 530 00:28:23,855 --> 00:28:25,689 Brian, what? 531 00:28:25,722 --> 00:28:26,825 Get outta town. 532 00:28:26,858 --> 00:28:28,392 We're just friends, dawg. 533 00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:30,829 Nah. 534 00:28:30,862 --> 00:28:32,162 Okay. 535 00:28:39,703 --> 00:28:41,205 Stuff really that bad for you? 536 00:28:42,874 --> 00:28:43,842 I don't know. 537 00:28:45,877 --> 00:28:48,545 I think I just got caught up in what was expected of me. 538 00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:50,882 Never had that problem. 539 00:28:55,586 --> 00:28:56,420 Chaos. 540 00:28:57,254 --> 00:28:59,389 Strange burn pattern. 541 00:29:01,759 --> 00:29:04,394 It was a ghost of Bush/Cheney. 542 00:29:06,730 --> 00:29:07,531 What was that? 543 00:29:07,564 --> 00:29:08,365 Did you hear that? 544 00:29:08,398 --> 00:29:09,868 Yeah. 545 00:29:09,901 --> 00:29:12,369 All right, maybe we should get the fuck. 546 00:29:21,411 --> 00:29:22,914 You were saying? 547 00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:30,420 Jess, Jess. 548 00:29:30,454 --> 00:29:31,421 Come on, right now. 549 00:29:31,455 --> 00:29:32,256 - Life or death, let's go. - What? 550 00:29:32,289 --> 00:29:33,090 We're leaving. 551 00:29:33,123 --> 00:29:34,391 Come on, let's go. 552 00:29:36,593 --> 00:29:37,394 Ow. 553 00:29:38,930 --> 00:29:39,730 Fuck you. 554 00:29:39,764 --> 00:29:40,597 Fuck all of you. 555 00:29:44,268 --> 00:29:45,770 What the hell was that? 556 00:29:47,104 --> 00:29:48,438 We mighta seen a monster. 557 00:29:49,941 --> 00:29:52,242 Pretty damn sure that I'm not the bad guy around here. 558 00:29:54,779 --> 00:29:57,247 I mean I bring food to starving people around the world. 559 00:30:02,286 --> 00:30:03,253 Not cool. 560 00:30:03,287 --> 00:30:04,121 Leave my shit. 561 00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:09,159 C'mon, c'mon. 562 00:30:20,637 --> 00:30:21,471 Zach! 563 00:30:30,647 --> 00:30:31,950 - Fuck! - Jesus, he's cut. 564 00:30:31,983 --> 00:30:33,650 - What the? - Don't fall asleep, okay? 565 00:30:33,684 --> 00:30:37,487 - Stay with me, Bri. - Oh wow, disgusting. 566 00:30:37,521 --> 00:30:39,289 Landline! 567 00:30:39,323 --> 00:30:40,324 Stay with me, don't fall asleep. 568 00:30:40,357 --> 00:30:41,625 Portable. 569 00:30:41,658 --> 00:30:42,827 Don't fall asleep on me, okay? 570 00:30:42,860 --> 00:30:43,627 Why does it have to be the portable? 571 00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:45,128 Stay with me. 572 00:30:45,162 --> 00:30:46,296 There's blood everywhere. 573 00:30:46,330 --> 00:30:47,464 We need to get him to the hospital. 574 00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:48,967 - Jess, we don't even know what's. - Now! 575 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:49,801 Now, help me. 576 00:30:49,834 --> 00:30:50,634 Help me. 577 00:30:52,336 --> 00:30:53,972 Watch it you're already hurting. 578 00:30:54,005 --> 00:30:55,672 - Louis, c'mon. - Whoa. 579 00:30:55,706 --> 00:30:56,841 I ain't goin' out there. 580 00:30:56,874 --> 00:30:57,674 Look at him. 581 00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:58,977 Look at those marks. 582 00:30:59,010 --> 00:31:00,310 Please don't be that preachy coward character 583 00:31:00,344 --> 00:31:01,813 that annoys everyone. 584 00:31:01,846 --> 00:31:05,682 They always die first and I don't want you to die, buddy. 585 00:31:05,716 --> 00:31:06,516 Okay? 586 00:31:07,684 --> 00:31:09,854 Okay. 587 00:31:11,688 --> 00:31:13,323 - I wanna go in the car. - All right, c'mon. 588 00:31:13,357 --> 00:31:14,993 It's okay, you're gonna be okay. 589 00:31:16,193 --> 00:31:17,862 - You're gonna make it. - Okay. 590 00:31:17,895 --> 00:31:18,830 Now get in the back. 591 00:31:18,863 --> 00:31:20,497 - Shit. - What? 592 00:31:20,530 --> 00:31:22,666 Should we grab some roadies? 593 00:31:22,699 --> 00:31:24,334 Dude, he is dying. 594 00:31:24,368 --> 00:31:26,004 Get in the back seat. 595 00:31:26,037 --> 00:31:27,537 - You first. - Oh, no no no. 596 00:31:30,207 --> 00:31:32,043 All right, all right. 597 00:31:33,377 --> 00:31:35,178 Watch your foot. 598 00:31:37,214 --> 00:31:39,182 It's just the brake. 599 00:31:39,216 --> 00:31:40,852 What? 600 00:31:40,885 --> 00:31:43,520 - Shit. - What the fuck was that? 601 00:31:43,553 --> 00:31:45,056 - My god. - What, why? 602 00:31:47,091 --> 00:31:48,358 I have to poop. 603 00:31:48,392 --> 00:31:49,693 I have to poop when I get nervous. 604 00:31:49,726 --> 00:31:51,561 Battery's fried. 605 00:31:51,595 --> 00:31:53,363 What's wrong with your car, man? 606 00:31:53,397 --> 00:31:54,899 - Well shit. - Alex? 607 00:31:56,901 --> 00:31:57,701 You stay there. 608 00:31:57,734 --> 00:31:58,535 Stay there, okay? 609 00:31:58,568 --> 00:32:00,737 We'll be right back. 610 00:32:03,775 --> 00:32:05,910 My hog seems to have met the same fate. 611 00:32:07,244 --> 00:32:09,713 That's exactly what the fusebox looked like. 612 00:32:09,746 --> 00:32:13,717 I always imagine me and her goin' out at the same time. 613 00:32:13,751 --> 00:32:17,220 Wind in my hair, butt-naked as I drive off the edge of a-. 614 00:32:18,122 --> 00:32:20,557 Did you hear that? 615 00:32:20,590 --> 00:32:22,259 - Back inside. - Back inside. 616 00:32:23,260 --> 00:32:25,897 C'mon, let's go. 617 00:32:25,930 --> 00:32:27,397 He's okay, he's okay. 618 00:32:27,431 --> 00:32:28,900 Just put him on the coffee table. 619 00:32:30,768 --> 00:32:32,937 Okay, get the. 620 00:32:32,970 --> 00:32:34,105 Louis, help! 621 00:32:36,140 --> 00:32:37,741 Oh my god, anytime! 622 00:32:40,444 --> 00:32:42,947 - Oh god. - You're gonna be okay. 623 00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:44,748 Why's he touching me? 624 00:32:44,782 --> 00:32:46,084 No, don't touch me. 625 00:32:46,117 --> 00:32:47,752 Okay, we need to get the power back on 626 00:32:47,785 --> 00:32:49,754 so we can charge the phone and call for help. 627 00:32:49,787 --> 00:32:51,254 Okay, is there a generator? 628 00:32:51,288 --> 00:32:52,422 In the shed. 629 00:32:52,456 --> 00:32:54,291 - Okay, let's go. - Wait, I mean. 630 00:32:55,793 --> 00:32:57,095 The shed, it's outside. 631 00:32:57,128 --> 00:32:58,930 - It's in the dark. - Yeah, take your flashlight. 632 00:32:58,963 --> 00:33:00,098 Right, yeah. 633 00:33:00,131 --> 00:33:01,966 No, that's exactly what I was thinking. 634 00:33:01,999 --> 00:33:05,268 Louis while we're doin' that outside in the dark, 635 00:33:05,302 --> 00:33:08,605 - you stop the bleeding. - No no no, I'm not sure. 636 00:33:08,638 --> 00:33:10,307 - What? - I'm not sure. 637 00:33:13,677 --> 00:33:14,946 Dude, what the fuck? 638 00:33:14,979 --> 00:33:16,114 Just gimme a minute. 639 00:33:16,147 --> 00:33:17,815 We don't have a minute, Louis. 640 00:33:19,150 --> 00:33:20,283 Come on, dude. 641 00:33:20,317 --> 00:33:21,786 - You're amazing. - Okay okay okay. 642 00:33:21,819 --> 00:33:23,788 It's okay. 643 00:33:29,526 --> 00:33:30,995 I see. 644 00:33:31,028 --> 00:33:33,330 Yeah, the problem appears to be these three cuts. 645 00:33:34,165 --> 00:33:35,133 No shit. 646 00:33:35,166 --> 00:33:36,299 Can you stop the bleeding? 647 00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:39,469 - Who, me? - You, yeah. 648 00:33:39,503 --> 00:33:40,337 Yeah. 649 00:33:44,008 --> 00:33:45,143 - I'm not a surgeon. - You're not a surgeon. 650 00:33:45,176 --> 00:33:46,510 - I'm not a surgeon. - You're not a surgeon? 651 00:33:46,543 --> 00:33:47,979 I found out in medical school 652 00:33:48,012 --> 00:33:49,479 I didn't have the stomach for it. 653 00:33:49,513 --> 00:33:51,983 Blood makes me queasy as fuck. 654 00:33:52,016 --> 00:33:53,818 You're not a surgeon? 655 00:33:53,851 --> 00:33:55,019 I'm an optometrist. 656 00:33:55,052 --> 00:33:55,987 Christ, Louis. 657 00:33:56,020 --> 00:33:57,320 He doesn't need an eye exam. 658 00:33:57,354 --> 00:33:58,189 I've got this. 659 00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,825 What? 660 00:34:00,858 --> 00:34:02,492 - What's he doing? - Be gentle. 661 00:34:10,700 --> 00:34:13,838 Okay. 662 00:34:13,871 --> 00:34:16,207 Brian. 663 00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:17,674 You don't gotta look. 664 00:34:17,707 --> 00:34:19,010 But you gotta hold these wounds together 665 00:34:19,043 --> 00:34:20,211 while I glue them, okay? 666 00:34:21,045 --> 00:34:21,879 Now, bro! 667 00:34:22,746 --> 00:34:24,048 Okay okay okay. 668 00:34:29,086 --> 00:34:29,887 Yeah, that's good. 669 00:34:29,921 --> 00:34:31,354 That's good. 670 00:34:31,388 --> 00:34:32,190 - No, I'm not ready. - No, I don't wanna look. 671 00:34:32,223 --> 00:34:33,024 I don't wanna look. 672 00:34:33,057 --> 00:34:35,193 I don't wanna look. 673 00:34:35,226 --> 00:34:38,062 Alex, where did you learn to do this? 674 00:34:39,263 --> 00:34:40,097 Coachella. 675 00:34:41,565 --> 00:34:43,733 - Okay, good job. - We're gonna go. 676 00:34:43,768 --> 00:34:44,568 Bye. 677 00:34:44,601 --> 00:34:45,870 Really. 678 00:34:45,903 --> 00:34:47,205 Pullin' it together literally. 679 00:35:00,617 --> 00:35:03,054 Am I keeping it steady enough for you? 680 00:35:03,087 --> 00:35:04,588 Yes, thank you. 681 00:35:04,621 --> 00:35:07,091 Well, you been staring into that microscope 682 00:35:07,124 --> 00:35:08,558 for a while instead of engaging 683 00:35:08,592 --> 00:35:10,727 in time-passing conversation. 684 00:35:10,761 --> 00:35:12,063 At least throw me a bone. 685 00:35:14,765 --> 00:35:15,565 The blood. 686 00:35:15,599 --> 00:35:16,733 It's the cells. 687 00:35:16,767 --> 00:35:18,735 They're giving off an electrical charge. 688 00:35:18,769 --> 00:35:20,938 You say that like you admire the creature. 689 00:35:22,273 --> 00:35:25,076 I just like the opportunity to understand it better. 690 00:35:25,109 --> 00:35:27,245 The deeper you try to understand something, 691 00:35:27,278 --> 00:35:28,946 the more gray area you're gonna unlock. 692 00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:30,915 Gray area equals hesitation. 693 00:35:30,948 --> 00:35:33,951 Hesitation gets us all fucked. 694 00:35:33,985 --> 00:35:35,786 Sounds like my last relationship. 695 00:35:37,955 --> 00:35:39,290 Damn Wendy, you're funny 696 00:35:40,457 --> 00:35:41,625 but you're also naive. 697 00:35:43,127 --> 00:35:45,629 That device in the wrong hands does neither of us a service. 698 00:35:46,630 --> 00:35:47,999 Mama wants to get paid too. 699 00:35:49,967 --> 00:35:52,602 Well I could better understand what we're tracking 700 00:35:52,636 --> 00:35:54,105 if I knew more about the device. 701 00:35:54,138 --> 00:35:55,973 That's above both our pay grades, 702 00:35:56,807 --> 00:35:58,943 but you saw the corpses. 703 00:35:58,976 --> 00:36:00,677 Whatever it is, we need to stop it. 704 00:36:03,147 --> 00:36:04,782 Just tell me about that monster. 705 00:36:04,815 --> 00:36:05,950 Honey, let's stop for a second. 706 00:36:05,983 --> 00:36:07,952 - Why's that? - Because it glowed. 707 00:36:07,985 --> 00:36:09,787 Oh, of course it did. 708 00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:10,955 The cuts on Zachary's chest. 709 00:36:10,988 --> 00:36:12,290 Well, I believe you saw something. 710 00:36:12,323 --> 00:36:14,325 I'm just not ready to go full-monster yet. 711 00:36:19,830 --> 00:36:20,998 Okay, we're good. 712 00:36:21,032 --> 00:36:22,800 Just try not to pass out on me 713 00:36:22,833 --> 00:36:24,668 before we get the power back on. 714 00:36:26,503 --> 00:36:28,306 Jess, that was eight years ago 715 00:36:28,339 --> 00:36:30,808 and look I was nervous because I have. 716 00:36:30,841 --> 00:36:33,311 Yeah and that led to gin shots. 717 00:36:33,344 --> 00:36:35,346 Gin is a vile nemesis. 718 00:36:37,181 --> 00:36:38,481 D'you ever wonder what would've happened 719 00:36:38,515 --> 00:36:40,851 if you hadn't passed out that night? 720 00:36:42,887 --> 00:36:44,989 Ah, all right. 721 00:36:45,022 --> 00:36:49,160 - Voila. - Jesus. 722 00:36:49,193 --> 00:36:51,528 - Does it still work? - I don't see why not. 723 00:36:54,231 --> 00:36:56,033 Pull it like someone in their 20s. 724 00:37:00,037 --> 00:37:01,671 All right, here we go. 725 00:37:01,705 --> 00:37:02,840 All right, here we go. 726 00:37:02,873 --> 00:37:04,008 - Oh god. - Shit. 727 00:37:04,041 --> 00:37:05,709 I think it's outta gas. 728 00:37:07,577 --> 00:37:09,847 Maybe we can siphon some fuel. 729 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,881 Zachary's car! 730 00:37:10,915 --> 00:37:12,549 - Electric. - Ah, shit. 731 00:37:12,582 --> 00:37:13,384 Right. 732 00:37:13,417 --> 00:37:14,251 Damn you, Elon. 733 00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,022 Oh, Alex has a gas-guzzling hog. 734 00:37:18,055 --> 00:37:21,359 - Okay, what do we do? - Grab that. 735 00:37:21,392 --> 00:37:22,860 Okay. 736 00:37:22,893 --> 00:37:24,362 You know, I should've stayed in Miami. 737 00:37:24,395 --> 00:37:25,562 Maggie and the kids. 738 00:37:26,764 --> 00:37:28,933 My sweet, sweet, sweet wife and kids. 739 00:37:30,267 --> 00:37:31,268 Success. 740 00:37:33,237 --> 00:37:35,039 Is he going to live? 741 00:37:35,072 --> 00:37:36,740 I'm not a doctor. 742 00:37:37,741 --> 00:37:38,575 What are you? 743 00:37:39,777 --> 00:37:40,577 Thirsty. 744 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:43,914 Right there. 745 00:37:54,258 --> 00:37:55,426 Why'd you lie? 746 00:37:59,096 --> 00:38:00,730 I didn't mean to. 747 00:38:00,765 --> 00:38:03,733 Just lied once to buy some time, 748 00:38:03,768 --> 00:38:04,935 then again to buy a little more 749 00:38:04,969 --> 00:38:06,237 and before you know it, I was... 750 00:38:06,270 --> 00:38:09,106 You got a Technicolor Dreamcoat made of lies 751 00:38:09,140 --> 00:38:13,077 and everyone's all, "Damn, that's a fuckin' nice coat." 752 00:38:13,110 --> 00:38:15,813 And you're like, "Damn right, this shit's snakeskin." 753 00:38:17,114 --> 00:38:19,950 But you know it's salamander. 754 00:38:24,621 --> 00:38:26,991 Optometry is a noble profession. 755 00:38:28,492 --> 00:38:32,263 You know they say the eyes are the window to the soul, 756 00:38:32,296 --> 00:38:36,133 so that makes you a soul doctor. 757 00:38:37,634 --> 00:38:39,970 What the fuck does that even mean? 758 00:38:41,505 --> 00:38:43,274 I think you're a little more qualified for this one. 759 00:38:43,307 --> 00:38:44,275 I'm not. 760 00:38:44,308 --> 00:38:45,309 What's that supposed to mean? 761 00:38:45,342 --> 00:38:46,310 Well, you know. 762 00:38:52,016 --> 00:38:53,616 Siphoning gas has a lot more in common 763 00:38:53,650 --> 00:38:56,153 with drinking a milkshake than sucking dick, dick. 764 00:38:57,488 --> 00:38:59,156 Hey, I didn't know that. 765 00:39:00,825 --> 00:39:02,659 Look, listen. 766 00:39:02,692 --> 00:39:04,295 I'm sorry about. 767 00:39:04,328 --> 00:39:06,530 It wasn't my place to call out your boyfriend. 768 00:39:07,498 --> 00:39:08,799 My boyfriend who's gonna die 769 00:39:08,833 --> 00:39:10,835 if we don't get gas in that generator. 770 00:39:11,869 --> 00:39:12,702 Okay. 771 00:39:16,173 --> 00:39:18,142 I shouldn't have brought him. 772 00:39:18,175 --> 00:39:19,642 I didn't want to, 773 00:39:19,676 --> 00:39:22,179 but he has this way of inserting himself and everything. 774 00:39:24,014 --> 00:39:25,648 Suck, motherfucker. 775 00:39:28,385 --> 00:39:29,186 Okay. 776 00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:30,154 Are you okay? 777 00:39:30,187 --> 00:39:31,822 God, it tastes like a YMCA. 778 00:39:31,856 --> 00:39:34,158 All right, it's comin' out. 779 00:39:36,026 --> 00:39:38,329 All right, we're back. 780 00:39:38,362 --> 00:39:41,664 Let's head back in the house. 781 00:39:41,698 --> 00:39:42,833 What, what? 782 00:39:42,867 --> 00:39:43,834 What's goin' on? 783 00:39:43,868 --> 00:39:45,668 Something just ran past me. 784 00:39:45,702 --> 00:39:46,537 The monster? 785 00:39:46,570 --> 00:39:47,838 Stop sayin' that. 786 00:39:47,872 --> 00:39:49,340 What? 787 00:39:49,373 --> 00:39:50,374 Giant squirrel. 788 00:39:52,042 --> 00:39:53,377 And I can't say monster? 789 00:39:56,413 --> 00:39:57,381 He was over that way. 790 00:39:57,414 --> 00:39:58,916 Okay, all right. 791 00:40:00,417 --> 00:40:02,253 - Right there. - Where? 792 00:40:03,554 --> 00:40:05,022 Look, there! 793 00:40:05,055 --> 00:40:08,526 How many of those fuckers are there? 794 00:40:14,932 --> 00:40:16,400 Holy shit, it was glowing. 795 00:40:17,568 --> 00:40:19,870 And she never doubted him again. 796 00:40:27,077 --> 00:40:28,546 It's charging. 797 00:40:28,579 --> 00:40:31,248 Give it a minute of juice and then call 911 798 00:40:33,417 --> 00:40:35,886 and see if you can find a place that delivers beer 799 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,922 or the ambulance can make a stop. 800 00:40:42,927 --> 00:40:45,396 Actually just do it the first way. 801 00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:50,733 C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon. 802 00:40:50,768 --> 00:40:51,602 Let's go. 803 00:40:55,606 --> 00:40:56,607 Oh my god. 804 00:41:12,489 --> 00:41:14,258 What is that thing? 805 00:41:44,488 --> 00:41:45,990 - Run? - Yeah. 806 00:41:48,158 --> 00:41:48,993 Oh shit. 807 00:41:50,661 --> 00:41:52,963 Goddamn it, Mariah Carey. 808 00:41:52,997 --> 00:41:54,164 It's not working. 809 00:41:57,334 --> 00:41:59,637 - Hey, what happened? - Monsters. 810 00:41:59,670 --> 00:42:00,471 Not you too. 811 00:42:00,504 --> 00:42:01,972 How's Zachary? 812 00:42:02,006 --> 00:42:04,475 Not long for this world if we don't get help. 813 00:42:04,508 --> 00:42:06,010 We're almost outta beer. 814 00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:07,811 Alex, there's like two more cases. 815 00:42:07,845 --> 00:42:10,147 Yeah, but one of those is light beer. 816 00:42:10,180 --> 00:42:11,482 Light beer! 817 00:42:11,515 --> 00:42:12,983 Seriously, what happened? 818 00:42:13,017 --> 00:42:15,986 Seriously, we got attacked by electricity-eating monsters. 819 00:42:16,020 --> 00:42:18,322 Fine, what'd it look like? 820 00:42:18,355 --> 00:42:19,657 It's hard to describe. 821 00:42:19,690 --> 00:42:21,659 We only saw it clearly from the back. 822 00:42:21,692 --> 00:42:23,661 Did it look like the Babadook? 823 00:42:23,694 --> 00:42:25,329 Why would it look like the Babadook? 824 00:42:25,362 --> 00:42:28,165 Why wouldn't it look like the Babadook? 825 00:42:28,198 --> 00:42:29,833 What the hell's a Babadook? 826 00:42:29,867 --> 00:42:31,201 Fuck it, I'm doin' shrooms. 827 00:42:34,538 --> 00:42:36,874 You know I think we should keep our heads on straight. 828 00:42:36,907 --> 00:42:39,009 - Louis! - What? 829 00:42:39,043 --> 00:42:40,511 I have glaucoma. 830 00:42:40,544 --> 00:42:41,912 Fuck it, gimme that. 831 00:42:48,385 --> 00:42:50,521 All right, Jess. 832 00:42:50,554 --> 00:42:51,355 Fuck it, also. 833 00:42:51,388 --> 00:42:52,523 Pour me a shot. 834 00:42:52,556 --> 00:42:56,560 Hell yeah, party's back. 835 00:42:59,063 --> 00:43:00,731 - They're already poured. - Mm-hmm. 836 00:43:02,566 --> 00:43:05,703 To the mysteries of the world and survivin' them. 837 00:43:09,740 --> 00:43:11,909 What the fuck was that? 838 00:43:13,077 --> 00:43:14,411 - Oh fuck. - Oh god. 839 00:43:17,081 --> 00:43:19,550 Hold hold, we got a hit. 840 00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:22,219 That's enough energy to power a small village. 841 00:43:22,252 --> 00:43:23,721 Coming from 30 miles away. 842 00:43:23,755 --> 00:43:25,255 Hold onto your beakers, Wendy. 843 00:43:26,256 --> 00:43:28,092 I didn't bring any beakers. 844 00:43:29,593 --> 00:43:32,229 I say we should stay here and wait it out. 845 00:43:32,262 --> 00:43:34,098 But there's a problem with Zachary. 846 00:43:34,131 --> 00:43:35,566 Zachary Zachary Zachary. 847 00:43:35,599 --> 00:43:36,734 Since when do you care about him? 848 00:43:36,768 --> 00:43:38,770 Now you have a shot with Jess. 849 00:43:38,803 --> 00:43:39,603 What? 850 00:43:39,636 --> 00:43:41,238 Dawg. 851 00:43:41,271 --> 00:43:43,273 That is so fucked up, Louis. 852 00:43:43,307 --> 00:43:46,910 - Yeah. - Definitely not cool. 853 00:43:46,944 --> 00:43:48,112 Zach, are you okay? 854 00:43:49,279 --> 00:43:51,415 - Yeah, no. - Sorry. 855 00:43:51,448 --> 00:43:53,450 No but I'm standing. 856 00:43:54,952 --> 00:43:56,253 We're gonna get to the hospital, okay? 857 00:43:56,286 --> 00:43:57,921 So stay alive. 858 00:43:57,955 --> 00:43:59,089 Okay. 859 00:43:59,123 --> 00:43:59,957 Jess, 860 00:44:01,793 --> 00:44:02,926 I'm sorry. 861 00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,094 I'll tell you what a jackass you are 862 00:44:04,128 --> 00:44:06,263 when you're on the mend, okay? 863 00:44:06,296 --> 00:44:07,131 The Schwinns! 864 00:44:09,801 --> 00:44:11,268 Our old bikes? 865 00:44:11,301 --> 00:44:12,469 Yeah, they should still be somewhere in the barn. 866 00:44:12,503 --> 00:44:13,604 Thought you said there were monsters out there. 867 00:44:13,637 --> 00:44:15,472 There's a monster in here. 868 00:44:26,183 --> 00:44:27,951 This is madness. 869 00:44:27,985 --> 00:44:30,954 Don't worry, I think I left a six-pack in here somewhere. 870 00:44:30,988 --> 00:44:32,990 Okay, there you guys go. 871 00:44:33,023 --> 00:44:34,124 The bikes. 872 00:44:34,158 --> 00:44:36,293 - I think if we split up. - Found 'em! 873 00:44:36,326 --> 00:44:37,161 Yeah, okay. 874 00:44:41,498 --> 00:44:44,635 Wow, these bikes do not look healthy. 875 00:44:44,668 --> 00:44:45,969 Jess is right. 876 00:44:46,003 --> 00:44:47,304 These things could fall apart on us. 877 00:44:47,337 --> 00:44:49,640 Hey guys, can you come here and tell me 878 00:44:49,673 --> 00:44:51,642 if I'm actually seein' a thing 879 00:44:51,675 --> 00:44:54,846 or if this thing's a manifestation of the shrooms? 880 00:44:57,882 --> 00:44:59,550 Whoa, what is that? 881 00:45:01,351 --> 00:45:03,520 It looks otherworldly. 882 00:45:04,688 --> 00:45:06,723 Well careful, it might be dangerous. 883 00:45:11,195 --> 00:45:13,664 Bri, when did your dad get into welding? 884 00:45:13,697 --> 00:45:16,500 You're the Bill Nye of the group. 885 00:45:16,533 --> 00:45:17,367 What is it? 886 00:45:19,904 --> 00:45:20,737 I don't know. 887 00:45:22,206 --> 00:45:23,507 I've seen enough movies to say 888 00:45:23,540 --> 00:45:25,075 with grave certainty it's nothin' good. 889 00:45:27,411 --> 00:45:28,847 Looks like a giant football. 890 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,048 What happens when this thing's all lit up? 891 00:45:32,549 --> 00:45:34,718 Jesus Christ, don't touch it! 892 00:45:34,752 --> 00:45:36,855 What is this? 893 00:45:36,888 --> 00:45:38,355 A bomb? 894 00:45:40,424 --> 00:45:41,391 Zach, no! 895 00:45:45,596 --> 00:45:47,030 It ain't no Babadook. 896 00:45:47,064 --> 00:45:49,066 Oh my god, it's an alien. 897 00:45:53,771 --> 00:45:56,540 Oh my god, it's a real alien! 898 00:46:07,084 --> 00:46:09,253 What are you doing? Hurry up! 899 00:46:09,286 --> 00:46:12,389 It's lightin' up! 900 00:46:21,766 --> 00:46:23,768 Holy, I wanna get an alien! 901 00:46:23,801 --> 00:46:26,403 I can't believe we just saw an alien. 902 00:46:26,436 --> 00:46:28,572 I'm glad you're excited, Bri. 903 00:46:28,605 --> 00:46:30,741 I'm so fucking happy you have enough material 904 00:46:30,775 --> 00:46:33,778 for your next science project, but my boyfriend is dead. 905 00:46:34,812 --> 00:46:36,113 And he may not have been the best boyfriend, 906 00:46:36,146 --> 00:46:38,615 but he was a human being who I care about. 907 00:46:39,616 --> 00:46:40,450 Sorry, Jess. 908 00:46:41,618 --> 00:46:42,586 I get carried away. 909 00:46:42,619 --> 00:46:44,087 You always get carried away. 910 00:46:44,121 --> 00:46:46,824 Whether it's your fantasies about building rockets 911 00:46:47,792 --> 00:46:49,259 or taking too many gin shots. 912 00:46:51,963 --> 00:46:53,096 Why don't you apply some of that energy 913 00:46:53,130 --> 00:46:55,465 to something with an actual end result? 914 00:46:55,499 --> 00:46:59,102 Jess honestly, my condolences and all. 915 00:46:59,136 --> 00:47:00,772 But can we please save the personal grievance 916 00:47:00,805 --> 00:47:02,941 for after we escape the alien? 917 00:47:02,974 --> 00:47:04,508 Come on guys, let's pedal. 918 00:47:06,643 --> 00:47:07,477 Wait! 919 00:47:08,512 --> 00:47:09,781 What if Zach was right? 920 00:47:09,814 --> 00:47:11,950 What if that is a bomb back there? 921 00:47:11,983 --> 00:47:14,651 So, about that pedaling. 922 00:47:14,685 --> 00:47:15,519 Yeah. 923 00:47:23,160 --> 00:47:24,328 Oh, fuck me sideways. 924 00:47:24,361 --> 00:47:25,462 Brian! 925 00:47:25,495 --> 00:47:27,832 Dude, a bomb! 926 00:47:33,838 --> 00:47:35,372 According to Stephen Hawking: 927 00:47:36,841 --> 00:47:40,177 If intelligent alien life exists which apparently it does, 928 00:47:43,180 --> 00:47:46,483 they'll most likely conquer earth to exploit our resources. 929 00:47:46,516 --> 00:47:47,684 That sounds terrifying. 930 00:47:47,718 --> 00:47:49,152 So why are we stopped?! 931 00:47:49,186 --> 00:47:53,323 That device had a light meter on it 932 00:47:53,357 --> 00:47:54,658 that was nearly powered up. 933 00:47:54,691 --> 00:47:57,160 But what happens when all the lights are lit? 934 00:47:57,194 --> 00:47:58,997 It does whatever it was designed to do, 935 00:47:59,030 --> 00:48:04,035 whether that be a bomb or some kinda matter decimator. 936 00:48:05,369 --> 00:48:07,504 Isn't the latter just a fancier way of sayin' bomb? 937 00:48:07,537 --> 00:48:11,708 The point is: Earth is in trouble. 938 00:48:13,210 --> 00:48:15,013 You want us to go back? 939 00:48:15,046 --> 00:48:16,546 Are you insane? 940 00:48:16,580 --> 00:48:19,683 I don't know about you, but I don't wanna die tonight. 941 00:48:19,716 --> 00:48:21,685 Again, my condolences. 942 00:48:21,718 --> 00:48:23,353 Someone has to stop it. 943 00:48:23,387 --> 00:48:25,389 That's what the police are for, man. 944 00:48:25,422 --> 00:48:26,858 We're 20 miles from town. 945 00:48:26,891 --> 00:48:30,560 With these bikes, there's not gonna be time. 946 00:48:31,395 --> 00:48:34,231 Come on. 947 00:48:37,734 --> 00:48:38,568 Hey. 948 00:48:40,905 --> 00:48:42,907 The universe is endless, 949 00:48:46,077 --> 00:48:48,745 cold and impartial. 950 00:48:51,415 --> 00:48:55,719 We exist because we fought 951 00:48:55,753 --> 00:48:56,586 to be here. 952 00:48:59,757 --> 00:49:02,459 The universe gave us a chance 953 00:49:04,261 --> 00:49:05,262 and we grabbed hold. 954 00:49:06,764 --> 00:49:09,466 We planted our flag in the ground and said, "We belong." 955 00:49:11,769 --> 00:49:13,437 We choose to belong to this 956 00:49:15,472 --> 00:49:17,141 beautiful mess of chaos. 957 00:49:19,276 --> 00:49:21,946 Survival isn't handed to anyone or anything. 958 00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:24,115 Survival 959 00:49:25,950 --> 00:49:26,784 is fought for. 960 00:49:29,821 --> 00:49:32,489 Did you just have that speech in your back pocket? 961 00:49:33,623 --> 00:49:34,624 Yeah, I did. 962 00:49:36,326 --> 00:49:37,929 'Kay. 963 00:49:37,962 --> 00:49:40,798 Help me apply my energy to somethin' with an end result. 964 00:49:44,468 --> 00:49:45,469 You're all insane. 965 00:49:46,971 --> 00:49:49,639 Three eulogies, that's what I'm gonna be writing soon. 966 00:49:51,809 --> 00:49:53,778 I'm out, see ya. 967 00:49:53,811 --> 00:49:55,645 - Aw c'mon, Louis! - No, man. 968 00:49:57,314 --> 00:49:59,449 Look maybe he's right, Bri. 969 00:49:59,483 --> 00:50:00,818 Maybe we are insane. 970 00:50:02,486 --> 00:50:04,521 What have we ever been together but drunk? 971 00:50:06,323 --> 00:50:07,158 Friends. 972 00:50:16,834 --> 00:50:18,202 You can count on my steel. 973 00:50:19,837 --> 00:50:20,805 I'm in, too. 974 00:50:20,838 --> 00:50:21,638 Yeah, Alex. 975 00:50:21,671 --> 00:50:22,639 I figured as much. 976 00:50:22,672 --> 00:50:24,008 The booze is still back there. 977 00:50:24,041 --> 00:50:25,475 Ooh. 978 00:50:25,509 --> 00:50:29,646 You know me so well. 979 00:50:31,048 --> 00:50:32,817 Welcome to the armory. 980 00:50:32,850 --> 00:50:33,851 This is a tool shed. 981 00:50:35,019 --> 00:50:36,854 I know, just grab a weapon. 982 00:50:36,888 --> 00:50:37,721 Okay. 983 00:50:38,856 --> 00:50:42,160 , okay. 984 00:51:05,049 --> 00:51:07,018 Ooh, can I get the saws? 985 00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:24,202 I feel like somebody should say 986 00:51:24,235 --> 00:51:26,037 something witty and battle-ready here. 987 00:51:26,070 --> 00:51:28,572 Maybe we just defy that cliche and save the world. 988 00:51:28,605 --> 00:51:30,574 Let's poke some holes in their plan. 989 00:51:30,607 --> 00:51:31,741 - There it is. - Yeah. 990 00:51:32,910 --> 00:51:34,377 Let's say we kill all these things. 991 00:51:34,411 --> 00:51:35,880 How do we defuse the device? 992 00:51:35,913 --> 00:51:38,216 Well Brian's a mechanical engineer. 993 00:51:38,249 --> 00:51:39,749 Yeah, I am that. 994 00:51:40,785 --> 00:51:41,618 Guys? 995 00:51:47,424 --> 00:51:49,559 Approach slowly or charge quickly? 996 00:52:01,438 --> 00:52:02,405 Did that thing just disappear? 997 00:52:02,439 --> 00:52:03,941 Are you okay? 998 00:52:03,975 --> 00:52:05,910 That tree is all bark and no bite. 999 00:52:05,943 --> 00:52:07,078 Oh, bad puns. 1000 00:52:07,111 --> 00:52:08,578 He's okay. 1001 00:52:08,612 --> 00:52:10,915 That's a bad bump; I'll live. 1002 00:52:10,948 --> 00:52:13,084 I'd hate for little Cammy, Ryu, Guile, Blanka, 1003 00:52:13,117 --> 00:52:15,485 Bison and Chun-Li to grow up without a father. 1004 00:52:16,787 --> 00:52:19,257 - You have kids? - You have six kids? 1005 00:52:19,290 --> 00:52:20,758 Are those Street Fighter characters? 1006 00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:23,426 Seriously Alex, who are you these days? 1007 00:52:23,460 --> 00:52:26,130 Some guy doin' what he has to in this crazy world. 1008 00:52:28,299 --> 00:52:29,834 There's another one. 1009 00:52:31,802 --> 00:52:32,937 Oh shit. 1010 00:52:32,970 --> 00:52:34,138 What? 1011 00:52:35,306 --> 00:52:36,941 There's only one. 1012 00:52:36,974 --> 00:52:38,943 What do you mean? They're all over the damn place. 1013 00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:39,810 No. 1014 00:52:40,677 --> 00:52:42,146 It's all over the damn place. 1015 00:52:44,181 --> 00:52:45,016 It can teleport. 1016 00:52:46,650 --> 00:52:48,451 Not so bad. 1017 00:52:48,485 --> 00:52:49,452 Just one alien. 1018 00:52:49,486 --> 00:52:50,654 They can teleport. 1019 00:52:53,490 --> 00:52:55,458 Maybe we need to rethink this. 1020 00:53:01,832 --> 00:53:02,967 Don't touch my friend, 1021 00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,668 you ET wannabe bitch! 1022 00:53:14,211 --> 00:53:15,545 Where'd he go? 1023 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,317 Shit, I just know that thing's 1024 00:53:19,350 --> 00:53:21,152 gonna pop up at any... 1025 00:53:22,186 --> 00:53:23,154 Jump scare. 1026 00:53:36,033 --> 00:53:41,038 Where's Jess? 1027 00:53:41,538 --> 00:53:42,539 Jess! 1028 00:54:15,572 --> 00:54:16,407 What? 1029 00:54:20,577 --> 00:54:21,412 Who are they? 1030 00:54:22,913 --> 00:54:23,881 Bad asses. 1031 00:54:23,914 --> 00:54:25,548 Are you guys all right? 1032 00:54:25,582 --> 00:54:28,386 More importantly, have you seen a metallic device 1033 00:54:28,419 --> 00:54:29,920 with blinking lights? 1034 00:54:29,954 --> 00:54:31,255 Who are you? 1035 00:54:31,288 --> 00:54:32,555 This is Dr. Wendy Barnes and I'm Chum. 1036 00:54:32,589 --> 00:54:35,393 We were hired to track and kill that thing. 1037 00:54:35,426 --> 00:54:36,559 Hired by who? 1038 00:54:36,593 --> 00:54:38,262 I'm gonna let you guess my next sentence. 1039 00:54:38,295 --> 00:54:40,231 Is it top secret? 1040 00:54:40,264 --> 00:54:42,400 - It's top secret. - Yeah. 1041 00:54:42,433 --> 00:54:43,733 Put that thing down. 1042 00:54:43,768 --> 00:54:45,236 I didn't just shoot a game-winning three pointer. 1043 00:54:45,269 --> 00:54:48,439 One last time, have you seen a strange-looking device? 1044 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:50,274 It's in the barn. 1045 00:54:50,307 --> 00:54:51,275 We should get them inside. 1046 00:54:51,308 --> 00:54:52,777 I'd like to interrogate them. 1047 00:54:54,111 --> 00:54:54,945 Fine. 1048 00:54:56,113 --> 00:54:57,948 - You got anything to drink? - Uh-huh. 1049 00:55:03,620 --> 00:55:07,291 Teleportation: That explains why its blood cells 1050 00:55:07,324 --> 00:55:09,093 are actively electrical. 1051 00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:10,261 Thank you. 1052 00:55:10,294 --> 00:55:12,263 This thing literally feeds off electricity. 1053 00:55:12,296 --> 00:55:14,597 Hence our romantic setup. 1054 00:55:14,631 --> 00:55:17,301 Of course it'll need to keep its body charged. 1055 00:55:18,836 --> 00:55:20,938 So the government knows about this thing, huh? 1056 00:55:20,971 --> 00:55:22,273 Never said anything about the government. 1057 00:55:22,306 --> 00:55:24,108 Ah, sure because you can't. 1058 00:55:24,141 --> 00:55:26,277 But I mean, it's obviously the government. 1059 00:55:26,310 --> 00:55:27,610 There's other groups out there 1060 00:55:27,644 --> 00:55:30,114 we've invested interest in our planet's future. 1061 00:55:30,147 --> 00:55:32,149 Look, you don't have to say it's the government. 1062 00:55:32,183 --> 00:55:33,451 We'll just all silently know. 1063 00:55:33,484 --> 00:55:36,287 And you were in the fifth dimension with it? 1064 00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:37,154 Mm-hmm. 1065 00:55:39,523 --> 00:55:41,624 Can I put this in your rectum? I'd like to get a reading. 1066 00:55:41,658 --> 00:55:42,625 No. 1067 00:55:42,659 --> 00:55:44,128 Fine then. 1068 00:55:44,161 --> 00:55:47,465 We got a teleporting alien that can be injured, 1069 00:55:47,498 --> 00:55:48,966 therefore can be killed. 1070 00:55:48,999 --> 00:55:51,802 Yeah, but first you gotta get it to stand still. 1071 00:55:51,836 --> 00:55:54,972 Man if I was sober, that wouldn't even be necessary. 1072 00:55:55,005 --> 00:55:58,476 My reflexes are that of a cobra. 1073 00:55:58,509 --> 00:56:00,643 I will decapitate that mecha mean motherfucker 1074 00:56:00,677 --> 00:56:05,682 before it could teleport into whatever dimension. 1075 00:56:06,851 --> 00:56:07,985 Too bad you're never sober, Alex. 1076 00:56:08,018 --> 00:56:09,987 'Cause your reflexes are for shit. 1077 00:56:10,020 --> 00:56:11,654 Alcohol. 1078 00:56:11,688 --> 00:56:13,357 - What? - Alcohol. 1079 00:56:14,525 --> 00:56:15,692 Yup, damn right. 1080 00:56:15,725 --> 00:56:18,695 No, alcohol slows down your reaction time. 1081 00:56:18,728 --> 00:56:20,531 He's right, that's science. 1082 00:56:20,564 --> 00:56:21,698 Thank you. 1083 00:56:21,731 --> 00:56:23,000 But right now we can't kill that thing 1084 00:56:23,033 --> 00:56:25,002 because we can't get a clear shot at it, but... 1085 00:56:25,035 --> 00:56:27,037 If we get even more fucked up. 1086 00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:28,038 No, listen. 1087 00:56:31,041 --> 00:56:32,709 I know how we take down this alien. 1088 00:56:34,378 --> 00:56:35,212 We get it drunk. 1089 00:56:36,713 --> 00:56:38,349 Hey, I'm totally not gettin' the plan. 1090 00:56:38,382 --> 00:56:40,184 We get the alien drunk. 1091 00:56:40,217 --> 00:56:42,019 Like in party with it? 1092 00:56:42,052 --> 00:56:44,021 To slow down its reaction time. 1093 00:56:44,054 --> 00:56:44,889 Exactly. 1094 00:56:44,922 --> 00:56:46,357 Each time the alien teleports, 1095 00:56:46,390 --> 00:56:47,858 its body feeds it electricity. 1096 00:56:47,892 --> 00:56:49,226 And if we slow down that reaction. 1097 00:56:49,260 --> 00:56:51,362 We can put a bullet in its brain. 1098 00:56:51,395 --> 00:56:53,730 This is all great, but we have one major problem here. 1099 00:56:53,764 --> 00:56:55,366 How do we get it drunk? 1100 00:56:55,399 --> 00:56:56,733 I know, I know. 1101 00:56:56,767 --> 00:56:57,700 I know! 1102 00:56:59,236 --> 00:57:00,204 That been happening a lot? 1103 00:57:00,237 --> 00:57:02,039 Yeah, it's the device. 1104 00:57:02,072 --> 00:57:04,909 One more and that thing's fully-charged. 1105 00:57:06,410 --> 00:57:10,214 Well we can't just march out there and offer him a beer. 1106 00:57:10,247 --> 00:57:11,248 We won't have to. 1107 00:57:12,749 --> 00:57:14,051 I know that smile. 1108 00:57:14,084 --> 00:57:16,220 That's the Brian's got a plan smile. 1109 00:57:16,253 --> 00:57:17,421 Brian's got a plan. 1110 00:58:04,001 --> 00:58:05,603 Thanks, mom and dad. 1111 00:58:08,806 --> 00:58:10,474 Ladies, gentleman. 1112 00:58:10,507 --> 00:58:13,611 I give you the Skaggs hydroelectric beer bong. 1113 00:58:13,644 --> 00:58:15,779 Our alien will come for the electricity, 1114 00:58:15,813 --> 00:58:17,648 but also get a belly full of tub hooch. 1115 00:58:22,319 --> 00:58:24,822 All right people, let's move. 1116 00:58:29,526 --> 00:58:30,361 Don't linger. 1117 00:58:31,328 --> 00:58:33,297 You just make sure you hit it. 1118 00:58:33,330 --> 00:58:34,365 Oh, I'm gonna hit it 1119 00:58:38,335 --> 00:58:39,536 and then I'm gonna hit it. 1120 00:58:41,338 --> 00:58:43,040 - Okay. - Cool. 1121 00:58:46,343 --> 00:58:48,145 You were right to say that to me earlier 1122 00:58:48,178 --> 00:58:49,847 'bout not finishing what I start. 1123 00:58:51,548 --> 00:58:54,485 Not sure why I always get in my own way, 1124 00:58:54,518 --> 00:58:56,654 just my nature as a fuck up. 1125 00:58:56,687 --> 00:59:00,190 Bri, fuck ups are the people that don't even try. 1126 00:59:01,358 --> 00:59:04,528 So if this bong fails and we all die, 1127 00:59:05,696 --> 00:59:08,198 the lesson here is at least I've tried? 1128 00:59:08,232 --> 00:59:10,868 Correct. 1129 00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:13,871 Now, let's party. 1130 00:59:15,039 --> 00:59:15,873 Let's boogie. 1131 00:59:31,088 --> 00:59:32,389 Please do the honors, me lady. 1132 00:59:46,070 --> 00:59:47,571 Fuckin' shit. 1133 00:59:47,604 --> 00:59:48,439 Look. 1134 00:59:49,740 --> 00:59:50,574 Wow. 1135 00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:53,243 Fuck me twice on a Tuesday. 1136 00:59:54,578 --> 00:59:55,412 Positions. 1137 00:59:56,914 --> 00:59:57,915 Stay safe, Chum. 1138 01:00:15,466 --> 01:00:16,567 I can't believe it actually worked. 1139 01:00:19,436 --> 01:00:20,738 Shit. 1140 01:00:26,778 --> 01:00:28,612 He's taking the bait. 1141 01:00:35,619 --> 01:00:36,420 Ready? 1142 01:00:36,453 --> 01:00:37,955 I was born to be bait. 1143 01:00:38,823 --> 01:00:41,258 Hey, Wendy! 1144 01:00:41,291 --> 01:00:42,626 Yes? 1145 01:00:42,659 --> 01:00:44,294 - I forgot your name. - Alex. 1146 01:00:45,462 --> 01:00:46,630 Yes, Alex?! 1147 01:00:47,998 --> 01:00:51,635 Let's explore this barn and all the contents within! 1148 01:00:52,837 --> 01:00:53,971 Great idea! 1149 01:01:10,988 --> 01:01:15,794 I'll just pull this handle and the door should open 1150 01:01:15,827 --> 01:01:20,030 and we'll be inside peeing on anythin' we want! 1151 01:01:33,010 --> 01:01:37,014 - Gross. - Eww, gross! 1152 01:01:40,184 --> 01:01:41,652 Chum, now! 1153 01:01:41,685 --> 01:01:43,855 Here's to paying my rent for another six months. 1154 01:01:53,363 --> 01:01:55,532 We claim you, alien fuck. 1155 01:02:00,037 --> 01:02:01,004 He came back. 1156 01:02:01,038 --> 01:02:03,842 Yeah and fucked everything up. 1157 01:02:03,875 --> 01:02:06,510 True, but friendship first. 1158 01:02:06,543 --> 01:02:08,512 Yeah, I guess. 1159 01:02:10,047 --> 01:02:12,049 - Let's go. - Yeah, yeah! 1160 01:02:13,217 --> 01:02:14,184 What the hell? 1161 01:02:14,218 --> 01:02:15,686 That was so dope. 1162 01:02:15,719 --> 01:02:16,553 Oh my god. 1163 01:02:21,258 --> 01:02:24,194 Look, I'm putting the gun down. 1164 01:02:24,228 --> 01:02:25,696 'Kay? 1165 01:02:25,729 --> 01:02:29,533 Now you let Dr. Barnes go and we'll leave, how's that? 1166 01:02:31,068 --> 01:02:33,270 Finish your business here and we turn a blind eye. 1167 01:02:37,241 --> 01:02:38,408 Don't worry about me. 1168 01:02:39,276 --> 01:02:40,377 One for many. 1169 01:02:40,410 --> 01:02:41,245 Right. 1170 01:02:43,080 --> 01:02:43,915 No more weapons. 1171 01:02:45,249 --> 01:02:47,050 Totally weapon-free. 1172 01:02:47,084 --> 01:02:48,753 Just two empty hands with peace. 1173 01:02:51,588 --> 01:02:53,056 No! 1174 01:02:55,092 --> 01:02:56,260 Shit. 1175 01:03:07,604 --> 01:03:08,773 I'm so sorry. 1176 01:03:12,276 --> 01:03:13,778 It's beautiful. 1177 01:03:28,325 --> 01:03:30,127 I said I usually work alone. 1178 01:03:31,796 --> 01:03:32,964 I didn't say I liked it. 1179 01:03:38,468 --> 01:03:39,938 Any more douchebags gonna pop out 1180 01:03:39,971 --> 01:03:41,973 and get someone else killed? 1181 01:03:42,006 --> 01:03:44,274 Why do I feel like that was directed towards me? 1182 01:03:44,308 --> 01:03:46,945 Who is this Tomb Raider-looking woman? 1183 01:03:46,978 --> 01:03:49,146 - What do we do now? - Improvise. 1184 01:03:52,016 --> 01:03:53,317 You seem the least drunk. 1185 01:03:53,350 --> 01:03:55,118 You must be blind. 1186 01:03:55,152 --> 01:03:56,320 My pitchfork will do. 1187 01:03:57,487 --> 01:03:58,957 Looks like we're ready to go. 1188 01:04:01,158 --> 01:04:03,660 Hey, it means a lot that you came back 1189 01:04:04,829 --> 01:04:06,296 even if you did get Wendy killed. 1190 01:04:06,330 --> 01:04:08,800 First of all, why does everybody keep saying that? 1191 01:04:08,833 --> 01:04:09,968 Because it's true. 1192 01:04:10,001 --> 01:04:11,301 No, it's not. 1193 01:04:11,335 --> 01:04:12,469 Yes, her blood is on your hands. 1194 01:04:12,502 --> 01:04:14,304 I wasn't the one that threw the knife. 1195 01:04:14,338 --> 01:04:15,505 It's not your fault, but it is. 1196 01:04:15,539 --> 01:04:16,808 Anyway, what were you gonna say? 1197 01:04:16,841 --> 01:04:18,308 I just couldn't stop thinking 1198 01:04:18,342 --> 01:04:20,310 what the fuck was I pedaling toward, 1199 01:04:20,344 --> 01:04:22,814 my optometry practice where all the assistants hate me? 1200 01:04:22,847 --> 01:04:24,648 My wife who also hates me. 1201 01:04:24,681 --> 01:04:27,150 My kids who should be way too young to hate me, 1202 01:04:27,184 --> 01:04:31,655 but I see it in their little antichrist eyes, the fuckers. 1203 01:04:31,688 --> 01:04:33,992 Then I thought about what I was pedaling away from, 1204 01:04:34,025 --> 01:04:36,326 the people who've always been there for me. 1205 01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:39,162 No matter how much of a pain in the ass I was, 1206 01:04:39,196 --> 01:04:40,731 I love you guys. 1207 01:04:45,036 --> 01:04:49,040 I don't know what's happening, but I feel really weird. 1208 01:04:50,540 --> 01:04:52,010 It took Louis. 1209 01:04:52,043 --> 01:04:53,710 - Wait, Louis. - Holy shit, 1210 01:04:53,744 --> 01:04:55,212 that was also really weird. 1211 01:04:55,245 --> 01:04:56,179 He's in the barn. 1212 01:04:56,213 --> 01:04:57,180 - Call dibs. - Okay. 1213 01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:04,856 Please stop. 1214 01:05:04,889 --> 01:05:06,523 Louis, are you okay? 1215 01:05:06,556 --> 01:05:08,358 I'll just let the visual speak for itself. 1216 01:05:15,565 --> 01:05:18,702 If I can't shoot him around you, I'll shoot through you. 1217 01:05:18,735 --> 01:05:19,703 Stop! 1218 01:05:19,736 --> 01:05:21,238 What are you fuckin' doing? 1219 01:05:21,271 --> 01:05:22,239 You're not killin' my friend. 1220 01:05:22,272 --> 01:05:24,042 Aw thanks, Bri. 1221 01:05:24,075 --> 01:05:25,943 - You got it, buddy. - Fuck all y'all! 1222 01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:36,586 This is why I say I usually work alone. 1223 01:05:38,588 --> 01:05:42,259 The fucker's behind me, ain't it? 1224 01:05:54,939 --> 01:05:55,773 No! 1225 01:06:16,961 --> 01:06:18,295 It's incredible. 1226 01:06:23,633 --> 01:06:24,634 It's gonna activate. 1227 01:06:24,668 --> 01:06:26,436 It's gonna activate! 1228 01:06:30,174 --> 01:06:30,975 Oh shit. 1229 01:06:35,813 --> 01:06:38,648 Fork me. 1230 01:06:38,682 --> 01:06:42,987 Alex! 1231 01:06:43,020 --> 01:06:45,123 Jess, shoot him! 1232 01:06:48,658 --> 01:06:49,827 Eat my ass. 1233 01:06:57,501 --> 01:06:58,535 Eat my ass. 1234 01:07:28,365 --> 01:07:29,867 Finish him! 1235 01:07:29,901 --> 01:07:33,670 God! 1236 01:07:41,711 --> 01:07:42,712 We did it. 1237 01:07:44,081 --> 01:07:45,348 We did it? 1238 01:07:45,382 --> 01:07:47,051 What, I don't get credit for this? 1239 01:07:48,552 --> 01:07:50,387 Oh, that's messed up. 1240 01:07:51,756 --> 01:07:53,356 I sabotage everything good in my life 1241 01:07:53,390 --> 01:07:55,026 'cause I'm terrified of failure. 1242 01:07:55,059 --> 01:07:57,028 I've been doin' it for years in my career, 1243 01:07:57,061 --> 01:07:58,062 even longer with you. 1244 01:07:59,230 --> 01:08:00,363 I purposely date guys I know won't last 1245 01:08:00,397 --> 01:08:02,699 so I don't have to be vulnerable with anyone. 1246 01:08:02,732 --> 01:08:05,203 Guess we're a perfect pair of fuck ups. 1247 01:08:05,236 --> 01:08:06,736 Do two wrongs make a right? 1248 01:08:07,737 --> 01:08:09,539 Well only one way to find out. 1249 01:08:15,412 --> 01:08:19,083 Some damn fine work, kids. 1250 01:08:24,288 --> 01:08:29,293 Looks like I won't be around to collect my payment, but 1251 01:08:32,129 --> 01:08:34,098 tell him you're with me. 1252 01:08:34,131 --> 01:08:34,966 He'll set you up. 1253 01:08:36,767 --> 01:08:38,735 You work for Big Oil? 1254 01:08:38,769 --> 01:08:41,105 Told you I wasn't government, you dumb ass. 1255 01:08:41,138 --> 01:08:44,108 Why would an oil company hire you to hunt down an alien? 1256 01:08:45,142 --> 01:08:47,111 That alien machine you just shut down. 1257 01:08:50,114 --> 01:08:50,948 It wasn't a bomb. 1258 01:08:52,116 --> 01:08:55,086 So what, could it open up a black hole, 1259 01:08:55,119 --> 01:08:56,821 expand matter, poison the air? 1260 01:08:59,123 --> 01:09:01,292 It's a carbon dioxide extractor. 1261 01:09:02,492 --> 01:09:04,494 Sucks CO2 outta the atmosphere. 1262 01:09:07,497 --> 01:09:09,499 That little alien device 1263 01:09:10,634 --> 01:09:12,636 is meant to turn the tide on climate change. 1264 01:09:14,138 --> 01:09:15,605 No, that doesn't make any sense. 1265 01:09:15,639 --> 01:09:17,275 Big Oil would want this thing activated 1266 01:09:17,308 --> 01:09:19,643 so they could keep goin' business as usual. 1267 01:09:19,676 --> 01:09:21,645 Of course. 1268 01:09:24,315 --> 01:09:27,151 Think about how much money can be made 1269 01:09:28,485 --> 01:09:30,487 if you hold the world hostage. 1270 01:09:31,822 --> 01:09:33,657 Once they dissect that thing, 1271 01:09:35,159 --> 01:09:39,997 they can create their own and profit like motherfuckers. 1272 01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:43,667 You used us 1273 01:09:44,668 --> 01:09:47,838 like pawns in a corporate game. 1274 01:09:49,506 --> 01:09:50,674 Don't be so dramatic. 1275 01:09:53,210 --> 01:09:54,845 Corporations are people too. 1276 01:09:56,347 --> 01:09:57,181 Big Oil 1277 01:09:59,350 --> 01:10:00,184 ain't so bad. 1278 01:10:09,860 --> 01:10:11,195 Maybe she was right. 1279 01:10:13,030 --> 01:10:14,698 We've killed a great humanitarian. 1280 01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:18,202 Well at least we still have some beers. 1281 01:10:20,371 --> 01:10:23,540 Well happy birthday, man. 1282 01:10:28,879 --> 01:10:32,383 Light fuckin' beer. 1283 01:10:33,717 --> 01:10:34,551 Of course. 1284 01:10:39,223 --> 01:10:40,057 Fuck. 1285 01:13:51,115 --> 01:13:52,715 47 Baker, take three. 1286 01:13:52,749 --> 01:13:54,717 So we're already landed, right? 1287 01:13:54,752 --> 01:13:55,886 Yeah. 1288 01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:57,720 My nay-nays feel weird. 1289 01:14:00,291 --> 01:14:01,425 I mean I don't drink. 1290 01:14:01,458 --> 01:14:03,227 But when I drink, I drink. 1291 01:14:03,260 --> 01:14:04,895 No, we're high up. 1292 01:14:04,929 --> 01:14:05,728 We're pretty high. 1293 01:14:05,763 --> 01:14:06,897 I can tell. 1294 01:14:06,931 --> 01:14:09,099 Less oxygen. 1295 01:14:09,133 --> 01:14:11,769 Whoa. 1296 01:14:14,605 --> 01:14:16,574 I voted for Trump. 1297 01:14:16,607 --> 01:14:20,277 I like to masturbate with my lab coat on. 1298 01:14:21,979 --> 01:14:26,951 Maggie hates postpartum sex, but I like it. 1299 01:14:28,285 --> 01:14:30,120 - Sorry. - Speakin' of farts, 1300 01:14:30,154 --> 01:14:31,789 I pood my pants like. 1301 01:14:35,125 --> 01:14:38,762 I had a pain in my balls and I thought it was ball cancer. 1302 01:14:38,796 --> 01:14:40,464 It was just pain 1303 01:14:42,633 --> 01:14:45,169 in my balls. 1304 01:14:46,470 --> 01:14:49,273 You can see like the burn marks and stuff. 1305 01:14:49,306 --> 01:14:50,441 Burn marks. 1306 01:14:50,474 --> 01:14:51,275 Yeah. 1307 01:14:51,308 --> 01:14:52,443 I don't know, man. 1308 01:14:52,476 --> 01:14:54,645 I think it's like splittin' hairs. 1309 01:14:54,678 --> 01:14:56,146 - Which one? - Both equal. 1310 01:14:56,180 --> 01:14:57,448 I don't... 1311 01:14:57,481 --> 01:14:58,315 No, one's better than the other. 1312 01:14:58,349 --> 01:14:59,617 Don't show them to me again. 1313 01:14:59,650 --> 01:15:01,285 You want me to take a pic of your dick? 1314 01:15:01,318 --> 01:15:02,953 The selfies are kinda tough. 1315 01:15:02,987 --> 01:15:03,787 Nah, it's okay. 1316 01:15:03,821 --> 01:15:04,788 I think I can manage. 1317 01:15:04,822 --> 01:15:05,956 - Okay. - Yeah. 1318 01:15:05,990 --> 01:15:07,124 Life or death, we're leaving right now. 1319 01:15:07,157 --> 01:15:10,461 C'mon! 1320 01:15:10,494 --> 01:15:11,495 Ow. 1321 01:15:20,337 --> 01:15:21,138 I farted. 1322 01:15:24,675 --> 01:15:25,509 Dingleberry! 1323 01:15:27,511 --> 01:15:28,679 Fuckin' dicks! 1324 01:15:31,348 --> 01:15:33,651 Babadook? 1325 01:15:33,684 --> 01:15:34,518 Fully erect. 1326 01:15:38,522 --> 01:15:39,356 The Schwinns! 1327 01:15:41,058 --> 01:15:42,493 - Our old bikes? - Yeah. 1328 01:15:42,526 --> 01:15:44,495 They should still be in the barn. 1329 01:15:47,698 --> 01:15:49,533 Teleport! 1330 01:15:55,873 --> 01:15:58,709 - She's in the barn? - Who is that? 1331 01:15:59,710 --> 01:16:01,378 She's in the barn. 1332 01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:04,181 Can you swim? 1333 01:16:04,214 --> 01:16:07,518 No, I'm black. 1334 01:16:10,721 --> 01:16:11,522 I'm fallin' off. 1335 01:16:11,555 --> 01:16:13,691 Ooh! 1336 01:16:13,724 --> 01:16:16,026 Yes? 1337 01:16:16,060 --> 01:16:17,194 Like push your tongue. 1338 01:16:17,227 --> 01:16:19,029 It'll help you to just push you tongue. 1339 01:16:30,240 --> 01:16:31,075 One for the alien. 1340 01:16:31,909 --> 01:16:33,077 Happy birthday, man. 1341 01:16:38,415 --> 01:16:39,416 Oh, fuck! 1342 01:16:39,450 --> 01:16:41,218 Welcome to my place. 1343 01:16:41,251 --> 01:16:44,054 Got my entourage, got my lights goin'. 1344 01:16:44,088 --> 01:16:45,723 You see my egg in the back. 1345 01:16:45,757 --> 01:16:47,124 You know I'm lit. 1346 01:16:48,258 --> 01:16:50,060 Don't mind the blood, that's somethin'. 1347 01:16:50,094 --> 01:16:51,729 We're not gonna talk about that. 1348 01:16:51,763 --> 01:16:54,064 There's my sound guy. 1349 01:16:54,098 --> 01:16:57,601 You know I'm dope if I got my own sound guy, right? 1350 01:16:59,750 --> 01:17:01,195 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 90276