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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Doris likes
mine just the way it is.
3
00:00:41,024 --> 00:00:43,359
I told you to stop
talkin' to me 'bout that.
4
00:00:43,393 --> 00:00:44,360
Why the hell you do
5
00:00:44,393 --> 00:00:45,996
somethin' like that to your kid?
6
00:00:46,030 --> 00:00:48,331
I was that way,
my daddy's that way.
7
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,332
My daddy's daddy's that way.
8
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,869
And it's sanitary.
9
00:00:54,037 --> 00:00:56,006
It's a goddamn myth.
10
00:00:56,039 --> 00:00:57,340
It looks good too.
11
00:00:57,374 --> 00:00:59,042
Just ask Charlene.
12
00:00:59,076 --> 00:01:01,045
Charlene don't know shit.
13
00:01:01,078 --> 00:01:03,213
Circumcision cuts off
1,000 nerve endings
14
00:01:03,246 --> 00:01:04,713
and some kinda
natural lubricant.
15
00:01:04,748 --> 00:01:07,384
Now that'll make fuckin'
Charlene actually tolerable.
16
00:01:08,718 --> 00:01:10,221
Why does everybody do it then?
17
00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:13,522
Well some guy who
invented Corn flakes.
18
00:01:13,557 --> 00:01:15,034
Probably to keep kids
from masturbatin'.
19
00:01:15,058 --> 00:01:20,031
C'mon.
20
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,867
That him?
21
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:27,905
Yeah, the blood trail
leads that way, let's go.
22
00:01:44,587 --> 00:01:45,923
Whoa, what the?
23
00:01:47,091 --> 00:01:49,926
You think a deer did this?
24
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:53,396
Deer?
25
00:01:53,430 --> 00:01:54,597
What the hell?
26
00:01:55,765 --> 00:01:57,100
I do not know.
27
00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:05,242
Whoa.
28
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:06,310
What is that?
29
00:02:09,780 --> 00:02:11,081
- Did you hear that?
- What?
30
00:02:11,115 --> 00:02:12,449
- By the trees.
- Nope.
31
00:02:16,652 --> 00:02:19,622
Oh jeez, there's more than one.
32
00:02:19,656 --> 00:02:21,292
So we grab that thing and split.
33
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,094
Could be worth money.
34
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:31,800
Oh shit.
35
00:02:37,974 --> 00:02:40,610
This isn't how the
gypsy said I'd go.
36
00:04:28,119 --> 00:04:29,887
The universe is endless.
37
00:04:31,288 --> 00:04:33,590
Cold and impartial.
38
00:04:35,591 --> 00:04:38,762
We exist because we
fought to be here.
39
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:42,932
The universe gave us a chance.
40
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:49,105
We grabbed hold, planted
our flag in the ground
41
00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:50,807
and said, "We belong."
42
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:55,112
Survival is fought for.
43
00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:00,283
Right now ladies and gentlemen,
44
00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:05,322
we are on a decaying
planet of our own doing.
45
00:05:06,622 --> 00:05:07,958
Well one day, Earth
46
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,293
will die
47
00:05:12,295 --> 00:05:17,300
and we as a species will
need to find
48
00:05:17,968 --> 00:05:18,968
a new home.
49
00:05:20,971 --> 00:05:24,274
Now greedy corporations and
their puppets in Congress
50
00:05:24,307 --> 00:05:26,110
are only speeding things up,
51
00:05:26,143 --> 00:05:28,478
so that's why we must act now!
52
00:05:31,148 --> 00:05:33,117
Invest in a Stars
with Skaggs project
53
00:05:33,149 --> 00:05:35,286
for intergalactic travel.
54
00:05:35,319 --> 00:05:38,456
Together, we can discover
unknown pockets of the universe
55
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:42,959
and need mankind to a new
pine-fresh home.
56
00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:46,529
Your money will make
for a better universe!
57
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000
Hi, Kenneth.
58
00:05:53,170 --> 00:05:54,004
Hi.
59
00:05:54,038 --> 00:05:55,637
What the hell are you doing?
60
00:05:55,672 --> 00:05:59,641
I was just rehearsing
for a future presentation
61
00:05:59,675 --> 00:06:02,879
for my space travel
company Stars with Skaggs.
62
00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:06,182
That's the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.
63
00:06:07,716 --> 00:06:09,819
Have you tested the equipment?
64
00:06:09,853 --> 00:06:11,822
I started to.
65
00:06:11,855 --> 00:06:13,824
I have a lecture in 30 minutes
66
00:06:13,858 --> 00:06:17,726
and the sound must be
an echo to the senses.
67
00:06:19,529 --> 00:06:20,529
Right.
68
00:06:21,398 --> 00:06:23,033
And have you replaced the bulbs?
69
00:06:24,535 --> 00:06:26,504
You didn't say anything
about replacing the bulbs.
70
00:06:26,536 --> 00:06:28,338
I sent you an email last night
71
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:29,839
and I know you were
on your computer
72
00:06:29,874 --> 00:06:31,574
because of your
masturbation problem.
73
00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:34,377
I wouldn't call it problem.
74
00:06:35,211 --> 00:06:36,547
Then where are my bulbs?
75
00:06:37,713 --> 00:06:40,050
Yeah okay, I'll get right on it.
76
00:06:42,052 --> 00:06:44,721
And the log report: stay
late and finish it, okay?
77
00:06:46,389 --> 00:06:48,526
Actually Kenneth, I can't.
78
00:06:48,558 --> 00:06:49,692
It's my birthday today
79
00:06:49,725 --> 00:06:51,862
and my friends and
I are goin' on...
80
00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:55,064
I don't care about
your birthday, okay?!
81
00:06:55,098 --> 00:06:57,699
You're my assistant and
you're supposed to assist me.
82
00:06:57,733 --> 00:06:59,202
So do you wanna keep your job
83
00:06:59,235 --> 00:07:02,238
or do you wanna drink Mai
Tais with your friends?
84
00:07:07,244 --> 00:07:08,579
- Mai Tais.
- Huh?
85
00:07:10,413 --> 00:07:13,117
Oh I'm sorry, was that
not an echo to the senses?
86
00:07:15,119 --> 00:07:16,119
Mai Tais.
87
00:07:18,422 --> 00:07:19,923
Have a good lecture, Kenneth.
88
00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:23,593
Hey, wait!
89
00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:25,396
- Come here.
- Whoa, ow.
90
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,230
God, unhand me.
91
00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:28,598
Give that to me, you.
92
00:07:30,266 --> 00:07:33,269
You will never work in
a planetarium again!
93
00:07:38,776 --> 00:07:40,742
- Jesus, interesting.
- Hey, hey.
94
00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:41,778
The coat.
95
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:45,281
Coat?
96
00:07:45,316 --> 00:07:47,250
Here's your coat.
97
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:48,283
Huh, huh?
98
00:07:49,286 --> 00:07:50,620
Hey, pick it up.
99
00:07:53,624 --> 00:07:54,792
- C'mon.
- Yeah, okay.
100
00:07:56,459 --> 00:07:57,961
But I'm leavin' it there.
101
00:07:57,995 --> 00:07:59,096
Thank you!
102
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,100
Oh shit.
103
00:08:04,134 --> 00:08:06,170
- Hi. Oh oh, I'm sorry.
- Oh jeez.
104
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:09,439
- Pardon me. Sorry, Tracy.
- Watch it, man.
105
00:08:09,473 --> 00:08:10,440
Got a lotta momentum.
106
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:11,274
- I'll see ya.
- Bye, Brian.
107
00:08:11,307 --> 00:08:12,942
Never.
108
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:13,978
Oh my god.
109
00:08:19,682 --> 00:08:20,682
What the?
110
00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:23,153
You gotta be fuckin'.
111
00:08:23,187 --> 00:08:24,788
Fuck my life.
112
00:08:24,822 --> 00:08:26,523
You fucking fuckface.
113
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:31,160
Not you.
114
00:09:06,529 --> 00:09:08,831
I don't need to
stand anymore, right?
115
00:09:08,865 --> 00:09:10,833
- Cheese.
- No, you're good.
116
00:09:10,868 --> 00:09:13,003
We were not in-sync on that one.
117
00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:16,173
- No.
- No.
118
00:09:16,206 --> 00:09:18,708
- Ooh, but it's adorable.
- Ooh.
119
00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,713
Hey, all right.
120
00:09:24,715 --> 00:09:25,849
Thanks.
121
00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:27,350
- Alex.
- Stop!
122
00:09:27,384 --> 00:09:29,186
- Thank you.
- Just a little.
123
00:09:30,386 --> 00:09:33,524
- To Brian's birthday!
- Here, here.
124
00:09:33,557 --> 00:09:36,860
And to the last Leonid
meteor shower together.
125
00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:38,028
What, the last?
126
00:09:38,062 --> 00:09:40,063
Yeah, the last year of college.
127
00:09:40,096 --> 00:09:42,032
We might not have time
to make a yearly trip
128
00:09:42,066 --> 00:09:43,734
once our careers take off.
129
00:09:44,902 --> 00:09:46,370
We could always find time.
130
00:09:46,403 --> 00:09:48,038
I don't know, man.
131
00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:50,707
You'll be busy blowin'
shit up at NASA.
132
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,043
I'll be savin' lives in the OR.
133
00:09:53,076 --> 00:09:56,746
Jess fighting
deforestation in Guatemala.
134
00:09:56,780 --> 00:09:57,780
Alex?
135
00:09:58,749 --> 00:10:00,384
- Well Alex might be free.
- Yeah.
136
00:10:01,951 --> 00:10:03,220
Hey, Louis.
137
00:10:03,253 --> 00:10:05,389
You know, I'm really
disappointed in you.
138
00:10:05,422 --> 00:10:07,390
This is our thing, man.
139
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:10,427
This has been our thing since
we were in elementary school.
140
00:10:12,764 --> 00:10:14,230
The real world can't
take that away.
141
00:10:14,264 --> 00:10:17,400
My dad says the real world
142
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:20,070
is an unforgiving
thief of happiness.
143
00:10:20,104 --> 00:10:23,106
And knowing my
dad, I believe it.
144
00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:26,243
Well, I hereby
declare this not be
145
00:10:26,275 --> 00:10:28,245
the last Leonid meteor shower,
146
00:10:28,278 --> 00:10:30,279
but a yearly continuation
until the day we die.
147
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,948
And I concur.
148
00:10:31,981 --> 00:10:33,584
Yay.
149
00:10:33,616 --> 00:10:34,418
Duke it.
150
00:10:34,451 --> 00:10:35,586
Yup, yup.
151
00:10:35,619 --> 00:10:37,120
- What, what yeah!
- Oh.
152
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:42,292
- Lest we forget.
- To our yearly meteor break!
153
00:10:42,326 --> 00:10:43,594
I would live to come, you guys.
154
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,764
Oh Frederick, how
are you darling?
155
00:10:45,797 --> 00:10:48,264
But if I don't take care of
my plants, who's going to?
156
00:10:48,298 --> 00:10:49,265
This year is bad.
157
00:10:49,298 --> 00:10:51,100
We can't have little Olaf
158
00:10:51,134 --> 00:10:52,970
freezing his little
butt off, can we?
159
00:10:54,971 --> 00:10:56,273
Hey man, yeah.
160
00:10:56,306 --> 00:11:01,144
Things have been a
little, you know.
161
00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:03,815
Yes!
162
00:11:08,317 --> 00:11:10,153
Yeah, this year is bad.
163
00:11:10,187 --> 00:11:12,322
Yo Brian, d'you see this shit?
164
00:11:12,355 --> 00:11:14,793
20, motherfucker.
165
00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:16,125
- 21.
- No no no no.
166
00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:17,461
Fuck, man.
167
00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:18,638
You fuckin'. No no, you
ain't takin' that shit.
168
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:19,462
Dude, this year's bad.
169
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:20,630
No, no.
170
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:21,664
No!
171
00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:22,666
Faster, people.
172
00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:23,966
We're on a deadline.
173
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:24,967
Can you bring that
tree over here?
174
00:11:25,001 --> 00:11:26,470
What are you doing?
175
00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:28,347
I told you 15 minutes ago,
that's not how you do that.
176
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:29,481
You guys, we're
opening the garden.
177
00:11:29,505 --> 00:11:30,673
This year is bad.
178
00:11:30,706 --> 00:11:32,475
C'mon, bring the plant.
179
00:11:32,509 --> 00:11:33,812
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
180
00:11:33,845 --> 00:11:34,977
Ow.
181
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,480
All right,
182
00:11:36,513 --> 00:11:37,480
so we're just gonna have
to make a small incision.
183
00:11:37,514 --> 00:11:38,658
It's gonna be about two inches.
184
00:11:38,682 --> 00:11:39,982
- Incision?
- Shh shh shh.
185
00:11:40,017 --> 00:11:41,820
It's better if you
don't speak, 'kay?
186
00:11:41,852 --> 00:11:42,852
This year's bad.
187
00:11:44,354 --> 00:11:47,490
Oh shit.
188
00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:50,828
How's my ass look from
back there, guys?
189
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:51,662
This year's bad, man.
190
00:11:51,695 --> 00:11:52,495
This year's bad.
191
00:11:52,528 --> 00:11:53,831
Oh, fuck!
192
00:11:53,865 --> 00:11:55,665
Oh, do you feel cool
with your chainsaws?
193
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:56,868
I wish I could be there,
194
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,043
but I'm in the middle
of saving the forest.
195
00:11:58,067 --> 00:11:59,403
This year's bad.
196
00:12:02,874 --> 00:12:05,008
My mother was right about you!
197
00:12:07,043 --> 00:12:08,544
This year's bad.
198
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:13,082
Dude, last night
was fuckin' epic.
199
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:15,719
This year's bad.
200
00:12:23,059 --> 00:12:24,561
This year's good.
201
00:13:16,947 --> 00:13:18,282
"Happy birthday, son.
202
00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:20,283
"Your mother and I
could not be more proud.
203
00:13:20,317 --> 00:13:23,086
"30 years old with your
eyes still on the prize.
204
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,596
"Don't let it bother
you that Elon Musk
205
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:28,993
"sold his first company for
$300 million at the age of 26.
206
00:13:30,460 --> 00:13:31,604
"Your mother just informed me
207
00:13:31,628 --> 00:13:33,105
"that I shouldn't have
written that last part,
208
00:13:33,129 --> 00:13:36,934
"but I'm using pen and don't
have time to buy another card.
209
00:13:36,967 --> 00:13:38,268
"Just know that we love you
210
00:13:38,302 --> 00:13:39,937
"and enjoy this gift
with your friends.
211
00:13:39,971 --> 00:13:40,772
"I did a little research.
212
00:13:40,804 --> 00:13:42,639
"It's Elon's favorite."
213
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,107
Aww, dad.
214
00:13:45,142 --> 00:13:50,147
Gonna get...
215
00:13:50,647 --> 00:13:51,647
Hello?
216
00:14:09,166 --> 00:14:10,969
You didn't say
shit to me, all right?
217
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,803
I mean it's not like you.
218
00:14:12,836 --> 00:14:15,304
I thought you knew.
219
00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:17,139
No baby, I swear.
220
00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:18,708
I swear we had
this conversation.
221
00:14:20,677 --> 00:14:22,312
'Cause all of you didn't.
222
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:24,982
Oh surprise, man.
223
00:14:25,015 --> 00:14:26,515
I was gonna surprise you.
224
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:27,549
I thought you knew.
225
00:14:29,219 --> 00:14:31,153
- Surprise me?
- No, that's...
226
00:14:31,187 --> 00:14:32,322
Are you kidding me?
227
00:14:32,355 --> 00:14:33,665
What kinda fucking
surprise is that?
228
00:14:33,690 --> 00:14:35,001
You leave me alone for
those little monsters?
229
00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:36,665
- I told you last month.
- No, you didn't.
230
00:14:36,692 --> 00:14:37,995
I did.
231
00:14:38,028 --> 00:14:39,328
You never help me anyway
232
00:14:39,363 --> 00:14:41,498
and now you suddenly disappear
and you leave me alone
233
00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:43,171
to go drink with your
high school buddies.
234
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,500
I am alone in this.
235
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:47,838
Well, I'm here.
236
00:14:47,871 --> 00:14:49,006
Hello?
237
00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:50,039
Hello?
238
00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:55,345
Brian Skaggs!
239
00:14:55,379 --> 00:14:58,850
Has it seriously been since
my magical wedding day?
240
00:14:58,883 --> 00:15:00,517
- Hug me.
- Yay!
241
00:15:03,220 --> 00:15:04,354
How's LA, man?
242
00:15:04,388 --> 00:15:05,187
Buildin' rockets yet?
243
00:15:05,221 --> 00:15:07,356
Yeah, I mean almost.
244
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:09,092
I'm goin' through
the right steps.
245
00:15:10,061 --> 00:15:12,229
How's Maggie and the twins?
246
00:15:12,261 --> 00:15:14,563
- That was her on the phone.
- Yeah?
247
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:15,532
Claims that I didn't tell her
248
00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:17,034
I was leaving for the weekend.
249
00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:17,869
I told her.
250
00:15:17,902 --> 00:15:21,203
I totally told her.
251
00:15:21,238 --> 00:15:23,407
She's still recovering
from the episiotomy,
252
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,908
so she's a little.
253
00:15:26,409 --> 00:15:29,379
The doctors made a
slit in her perineum,
254
00:15:29,413 --> 00:15:31,213
the space between
the vagina and anus,
255
00:15:31,248 --> 00:15:33,884
so post partum sex is.
256
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,552
Yeah.
257
00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:37,386
And the twins, I love them.
258
00:15:37,421 --> 00:15:40,222
- Yeah?
- But then I think, do I
259
00:15:40,256 --> 00:15:42,558
or am I just saying that
because it's expected of me?
260
00:15:42,591 --> 00:15:44,895
It's just you know,
I need structure
261
00:15:44,928 --> 00:15:47,065
and babies give fuck
all about structure.
262
00:15:47,097 --> 00:15:48,398
They're anti-structure.
263
00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:51,101
Chaos in diapers,
but I love them.
264
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,072
Everyone says I should.
265
00:15:54,105 --> 00:15:55,773
They just make me a little.
266
00:16:00,812 --> 00:16:02,446
- Jesus.
- Oh yeah.
267
00:16:02,479 --> 00:16:04,413
Not what you see on
the Christmas cards.
268
00:16:08,952 --> 00:16:10,419
Old wiring.
269
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,456
Speakin' of old wiring,
how's your love life?
270
00:16:12,489 --> 00:16:13,623
Was that a dick joke?
271
00:16:17,326 --> 00:16:19,596
Holy shit, Maggie never
lets me touch this stuff.
272
00:16:19,629 --> 00:16:20,629
This stuff is good.
273
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,265
Well, my dick.
274
00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:25,601
Thank you for
asking, by the way,
275
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:29,438
continues to be dry and lonely.
276
00:16:29,472 --> 00:16:33,977
My game is of the
non-LeBron variety.
277
00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:36,947
Well, maybe this
time you can finish
278
00:16:36,980 --> 00:16:39,116
what you tried to start
with Jess eight years ago.
279
00:16:39,149 --> 00:16:41,152
Jess, what?
280
00:16:41,184 --> 00:16:42,953
No, get outta town.
281
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,121
Jess?
282
00:16:44,154 --> 00:16:45,123
Please.
283
00:16:45,155 --> 00:16:46,790
We're just friends, dawg.
284
00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:47,823
Naw, naw.
285
00:16:51,162 --> 00:16:52,162
Are you having a stroke?
286
00:16:54,999 --> 00:16:56,000
Speak of the devil.
287
00:17:00,004 --> 00:17:01,504
Screw you, Maggie.
288
00:17:09,378 --> 00:17:11,182
Happy escape from
the womb day, old man.
289
00:17:21,057 --> 00:17:22,526
- Hi, Jess.
- Hey.
290
00:17:22,558 --> 00:17:24,060
Jess, look at you bringin' me
291
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:29,332
a handsome hipster in a Tesla.
292
00:17:29,365 --> 00:17:32,335
Now, this is a farm!
293
00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:35,704
A little red barn, a ducky pond,
294
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:37,507
a cabin.
295
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:39,709
I love it here.
296
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:47,018
Brian, my soulmate's mate.
297
00:17:47,050 --> 00:17:50,554
Brian, Jess has told me so much.
298
00:17:50,586 --> 00:17:54,192
Brilliant engineer,
299
00:17:54,224 --> 00:17:56,559
best of friend.
300
00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:58,863
This is my boyfriend, Zachary.
301
00:17:58,895 --> 00:18:01,199
- Your boyfriend?
- Louis.
302
00:18:01,231 --> 00:18:05,036
Louis, Jess has told me so much.
303
00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:10,040
Brilliant
surgeon, best of friend.
304
00:18:10,074 --> 00:18:11,209
He's a people person.
305
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:13,410
This place is bahupada.
306
00:18:15,246 --> 00:18:16,247
Is that Hindi?
307
00:18:17,248 --> 00:18:19,749
Did I just speak Hindi?
308
00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:21,718
Sorry.
309
00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:23,385
Lived in West
Bengal for two years
310
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:26,223
bringing irrigation
technology to the dry lands.
311
00:18:26,257 --> 00:18:28,759
Sometimes I just slip
right back into it.
312
00:18:29,926 --> 00:18:30,926
Right.
313
00:18:32,096 --> 00:18:33,573
Lemme show you where
you're gonna put your bag.
314
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:34,631
Namaste, Louis.
315
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:37,567
Love you.
316
00:18:37,601 --> 00:18:38,567
Love you.
317
00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,104
Brian.
318
00:18:42,772 --> 00:18:44,107
- Hey.
- Hey.
319
00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:49,247
Missed you.
320
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:51,249
Yeah, it's crazy
that we're back here.
321
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:52,582
Yeah, finally.
322
00:18:52,615 --> 00:18:53,926
I guess y'all just
couldn't pass up
323
00:18:53,951 --> 00:18:55,920
the opportunity to
watch me wither and die.
324
00:18:55,952 --> 00:18:58,587
- 'Cause you're 30.
- 'Cause I'm 30.
325
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:04,929
Zachary is...
326
00:19:04,961 --> 00:19:06,931
Oh yeah, he couldn't
wait to meet you
327
00:19:06,963 --> 00:19:09,267
'cause I've just been
goin' on and on about you.
328
00:19:09,299 --> 00:19:11,102
Oh, on and on.
329
00:19:11,134 --> 00:19:13,270
He's the head of our non-profit.
330
00:19:13,304 --> 00:19:15,940
- He's your boss?
- He's my boss.
331
00:19:15,972 --> 00:19:17,974
A Tiki bar?!
332
00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:20,944
I love Polynesian culture!
333
00:19:20,978 --> 00:19:22,612
He's excitable.
334
00:19:22,645 --> 00:19:24,281
So tell me about you.
335
00:19:24,315 --> 00:19:26,449
Last I heard, you were
working at a planetarium.
336
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,952
Yes, I was doing that.
337
00:19:28,986 --> 00:19:30,020
But I outgrew that.
338
00:19:31,154 --> 00:19:33,290
- Did you quit?
- No.
339
00:19:33,324 --> 00:19:34,959
- No no no no no.
- Jesus, Brian.
340
00:19:34,991 --> 00:19:36,294
Yeah, I did.
341
00:19:36,326 --> 00:19:37,493
But look.
342
00:19:37,527 --> 00:19:39,461
D'you ever finish
anything you start?
343
00:19:39,496 --> 00:19:41,498
What've I never finished?
344
00:19:47,003 --> 00:19:48,003
Hey.
345
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:52,175
Take your time.
346
00:19:55,378 --> 00:19:59,150
Uh oh, hide the
women and children.
347
00:19:59,182 --> 00:20:01,184
That enough beer?
348
00:20:01,218 --> 00:20:02,218
No.
349
00:20:03,519 --> 00:20:05,689
Like we never left.
350
00:20:15,531 --> 00:20:16,665
Cool if I VenMo You?
351
00:20:16,700 --> 00:20:17,700
For what?
352
00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:20,403
These tickets to a shit show.
353
00:20:37,721 --> 00:20:39,521
Alice, come look at this.
354
00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:41,192
Chum.
355
00:20:41,224 --> 00:20:43,692
You're really gonna
make me call you that?
356
00:20:43,727 --> 00:20:46,528
If you wanna catch a shark,
you gotta chum the waters.
357
00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:48,365
Oh, we're not after a shark
358
00:20:48,398 --> 00:20:50,532
and we're in the
middle of the country.
359
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:52,202
Same logic applies.
360
00:20:52,236 --> 00:20:53,702
Fine, Chum.
361
00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:54,737
Look at this.
362
00:21:03,913 --> 00:21:04,913
It's blood.
363
00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:08,885
It's like staring
into the cosmos.
364
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:10,755
Blood cells were stars.
365
00:21:12,588 --> 00:21:14,392
It's kinda pretty
366
00:21:14,424 --> 00:21:16,926
the way you put that
all sciency and poetic.
367
00:21:19,096 --> 00:21:20,563
Usually I trek alone.
368
00:21:20,596 --> 00:21:22,565
Apparently I need a smartypants
369
00:21:22,598 --> 00:21:24,076
do to their non-human
nature of the job.
370
00:21:24,101 --> 00:21:26,069
What's worth all this debt?
371
00:21:26,103 --> 00:21:27,771
Don't matter what it is.
372
00:21:27,805 --> 00:21:29,940
What matters is our
employer wants it back.
373
00:21:29,973 --> 00:21:31,250
So you're here to
make sense of things
374
00:21:31,275 --> 00:21:33,076
so that I can eliminate things.
375
00:21:45,455 --> 00:21:46,457
It's so beautiful.
376
00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:49,926
So goddamn beautiful.
377
00:21:53,297 --> 00:21:55,632
To Brian, a brilliant gentleman.
378
00:21:55,664 --> 00:21:57,434
And relentless panty-dropper.
379
00:21:57,468 --> 00:21:59,269
Adjective and a noun.
380
00:22:00,636 --> 00:22:01,771
- Brian.
- To Brian.
381
00:22:05,509 --> 00:22:08,112
Let's get drunk!
382
00:22:11,182 --> 00:22:13,451
Getting old sucks.
383
00:22:13,483 --> 00:22:16,487
Suddenly hydration has
become very important.
384
00:22:23,993 --> 00:22:27,865
People call me a sir now.
385
00:22:29,834 --> 00:22:30,867
Do I look like a sir?
386
00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:33,002
Know what I hate?
387
00:22:34,671 --> 00:22:36,307
Nose hairs.
388
00:22:36,339 --> 00:22:37,842
I'll tell 'em,
389
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:39,675
"I'm a sir in the sheets
390
00:22:40,510 --> 00:22:43,814
"and a mister on the streets."
391
00:22:43,847 --> 00:22:48,318
And hemorrhoids,
those also suck.
392
00:22:48,352 --> 00:22:52,323
I say shit like, "The kids,"
and "You call that music?
393
00:22:52,355 --> 00:22:53,857
"I call that noise."
394
00:22:53,891 --> 00:22:57,693
I watched Fox News
once and I liked it.
395
00:22:59,028 --> 00:23:00,663
Like I know they
supposed to droop,
396
00:23:00,696 --> 00:23:03,834
but it's like my
balls drop twice.
397
00:23:03,867 --> 00:23:06,069
I feel wasted.
398
00:23:10,574 --> 00:23:14,377
You had like one beer.
399
00:23:14,411 --> 00:23:16,012
He doesn't really
drink that much
400
00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:17,515
and I told him when
we get together,
401
00:23:17,548 --> 00:23:20,084
we're total lushes and he
didn't wanna be left out.
402
00:23:22,219 --> 00:23:24,521
I feel like I can see my face
403
00:23:24,555 --> 00:23:27,057
wavin' to me from another state.
404
00:23:28,224 --> 00:23:29,224
Like a
405
00:23:31,228 --> 00:23:32,694
state of Wyoming.
406
00:23:32,729 --> 00:23:35,365
Hello, face from Wyoming.
407
00:23:35,398 --> 00:23:38,701
I usually shit on guys
like ZDogg over here,
408
00:23:38,734 --> 00:23:41,538
but somehow this
motherfucker makes it work.
409
00:23:41,572 --> 00:23:43,207
Pound it.
410
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,375
Beer pound!
411
00:23:44,407 --> 00:23:46,410
- Beer pound.
- Beer pound.
412
00:23:49,779 --> 00:23:50,881
Oh, oh.
413
00:23:50,914 --> 00:23:52,215
- Brian.
- Fuck, I'm sorry.
414
00:23:52,249 --> 00:23:53,384
Brian Brian Brian Brian.
415
00:23:53,416 --> 00:23:54,551
Here, here, come here.
416
00:23:54,585 --> 00:23:56,052
Oh no, please
don't touch me, man.
417
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,221
No no no no.
418
00:23:57,253 --> 00:23:58,721
Just help me pick the best one.
419
00:23:58,756 --> 00:24:00,232
Yeah, I really don't think
I'm qualified for that.
420
00:24:00,257 --> 00:24:01,224
Okay, see look.
421
00:24:01,258 --> 00:24:03,059
In this one, I'm
not fully erect,
422
00:24:03,093 --> 00:24:04,428
but I like my facial expression.
423
00:24:04,461 --> 00:24:07,397
However, in this
one I'm rock solid,
424
00:24:07,431 --> 00:24:09,232
but what am I
doin' with my lips?
425
00:24:09,266 --> 00:24:12,403
Oh yeah, no you got
a landing strip there.
426
00:24:12,435 --> 00:24:14,070
Yeah, man.
427
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,573
That's tough.
428
00:24:15,605 --> 00:24:18,275
I think probably the
second one with the lips.
429
00:24:18,308 --> 00:24:19,108
Improve it.
430
00:24:19,143 --> 00:24:19,943
You could do that.
431
00:24:19,977 --> 00:24:20,778
You're right.
432
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:22,078
Stellar cock.
433
00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,614
I know, right?
434
00:24:23,646 --> 00:24:24,949
All right, number two.
435
00:24:26,115 --> 00:24:28,952
So Jess likes that
type of thing, huh?
436
00:24:28,986 --> 00:24:29,787
No.
437
00:24:29,819 --> 00:24:30,819
No, god not Jess.
438
00:24:32,957 --> 00:24:35,759
Ooh we're cool, right?
439
00:24:35,792 --> 00:24:39,963
I mean, dicks are just dicks
and pics are just pics.
440
00:24:41,498 --> 00:24:43,800
Yeah whatever, man.
441
00:24:45,469 --> 00:24:46,804
It's all yours, Bri-town.
442
00:24:48,638 --> 00:24:50,307
Oh shit, my dick was out.
443
00:24:55,645 --> 00:24:57,181
Putting her down for that one.
444
00:24:59,316 --> 00:25:02,452
Never have I ever
gotten a B in school.
445
00:25:02,486 --> 00:25:03,988
Nope.
446
00:25:05,521 --> 00:25:07,958
What, never got a B in school?
447
00:25:07,991 --> 00:25:10,493
Never got an A either.
448
00:25:10,527 --> 00:25:12,462
Really haven't got with it.
449
00:25:12,496 --> 00:25:13,807
In my school, we just
did for participation.
450
00:25:13,830 --> 00:25:14,632
We had no grades.
451
00:25:14,664 --> 00:25:16,299
Okay okay okay.
452
00:25:16,333 --> 00:25:20,537
Never have I ever used
grape jelly as a lubricant.
453
00:25:22,705 --> 00:25:24,508
And it worked "grape"
454
00:25:26,175 --> 00:25:28,479
You know that's a
recipe for UTI, right?
455
00:25:28,511 --> 00:25:29,990
- Okay Bri, Bri.
- To the kidneys and the liver
456
00:25:30,013 --> 00:25:31,324
and it can cause
some serious damage.
457
00:25:31,347 --> 00:25:32,482
Your turn.
458
00:25:32,516 --> 00:25:33,317
- Oh, Brian's turn.
- Brian's turn.
459
00:25:38,521 --> 00:25:39,656
Choo choo!
460
00:25:39,690 --> 00:25:41,157
You go go go go, say something.
461
00:25:41,191 --> 00:25:42,358
Say something.
462
00:25:44,060 --> 00:25:46,497
Never have I ever sent
a dick pic to someone
463
00:25:46,529 --> 00:25:48,499
while my girlfriend
was in the next room.
464
00:25:48,531 --> 00:25:51,067
Finger comin' down, drinkin'.
465
00:25:55,405 --> 00:25:57,007
No, I'm not drinkin'.
466
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,183
Well this went downhill fast.
467
00:25:58,208 --> 00:25:59,343
What?
468
00:25:59,375 --> 00:26:01,178
- Oh whoa.
- What is that?
469
00:26:01,211 --> 00:26:05,182
- What the hell just happened?
- Oh, did I blackout already?
470
00:26:05,214 --> 00:26:06,349
It's just a power outage.
471
00:26:06,383 --> 00:26:08,184
From what?
472
00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,863
Guys, there's something
wrong with my phone.
473
00:26:09,886 --> 00:26:11,721
I mean what could do that?
474
00:26:12,890 --> 00:26:13,891
Take out our phones.
475
00:26:15,224 --> 00:26:16,224
Here.
476
00:26:16,894 --> 00:26:18,528
I don't know.
477
00:26:18,561 --> 00:26:20,864
It could be an energy not
confined to a local force,
478
00:26:20,897 --> 00:26:23,232
so it's something non-linear
479
00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:26,703
that would allow
aperiodic behaviors.
480
00:26:26,737 --> 00:26:29,205
That sorta behavior
is no longer acceptable
481
00:26:29,239 --> 00:26:30,406
In a dating world.
482
00:26:31,442 --> 00:26:33,376
I'm talkin' about
multiple stable states;
483
00:26:33,410 --> 00:26:34,411
symmetry-breaking
484
00:26:36,747 --> 00:26:37,747
chaos.
485
00:26:38,749 --> 00:26:41,050
Well, I imagine all
scientific theories
486
00:26:41,085 --> 00:26:43,921
are better expanded upon
with the lights back on.
487
00:26:43,953 --> 00:26:45,923
Yeah, the fuse box
is in the garage.
488
00:26:48,592 --> 00:26:50,560
All right, who
wants to go with me?
489
00:26:50,594 --> 00:26:52,596
I'll go with you, bro.
490
00:26:53,765 --> 00:26:56,733
- Fantastic.
- Fantastic,
491
00:26:56,768 --> 00:26:57,769
indeed.
492
00:26:59,103 --> 00:27:00,269
What the fuck, Bri?
493
00:27:00,304 --> 00:27:01,580
You totally threw
me under the bus.
494
00:27:01,605 --> 00:27:02,740
Yeah?
495
00:27:02,773 --> 00:27:04,250
Well, that's how we
do things in Bri-Town.
496
00:27:04,273 --> 00:27:05,409
What?
497
00:27:05,442 --> 00:27:06,743
Fuck.
498
00:27:06,778 --> 00:27:10,247
Your parents voted for Bush?
499
00:27:10,279 --> 00:27:13,250
Hey, look you're
cheating on my best friend.
500
00:27:13,282 --> 00:27:15,251
So don't try to take the
moral high-ground now.
501
00:27:15,285 --> 00:27:17,421
Sending dick pics
isn't cheating.
502
00:27:17,453 --> 00:27:19,088
It's like sending
out your resume
503
00:27:19,123 --> 00:27:20,791
while you still have a job.
504
00:27:20,825 --> 00:27:23,795
I'm not actively working
for another company.
505
00:27:23,827 --> 00:27:27,096
That's actively
looking for another job.
506
00:27:27,131 --> 00:27:30,299
- That's pre-cheating.
- Pre meaning before.
507
00:27:30,334 --> 00:27:31,769
Before cheating.
508
00:27:31,803 --> 00:27:33,103
Before.
509
00:27:33,136 --> 00:27:35,105
Well you better get outta my way
510
00:27:35,138 --> 00:27:38,942
before I make a fist
and pre-punch you.
511
00:27:38,976 --> 00:27:42,814
Hey if Jess leaves
me because of this,
512
00:27:42,846 --> 00:27:44,981
I will pre-find
out where you live
513
00:27:45,015 --> 00:27:47,818
and I will pre-ruin your life.
514
00:27:48,986 --> 00:27:50,153
Yeah?
515
00:27:50,186 --> 00:27:52,322
Well I'll have pre-set
booby traps waiting.
516
00:27:52,355 --> 00:27:53,990
And I'll have predicted that.
517
00:27:54,023 --> 00:27:55,992
- Pre-fuck you.
- Pre-fuck you, man.
518
00:27:56,026 --> 00:27:57,336
- Pre-fuck you.
- I'll pre-fuck you.
519
00:27:57,361 --> 00:27:58,996
- No.
- Pre-fuck you.
520
00:28:03,166 --> 00:28:04,500
To be continued.
521
00:28:09,705 --> 00:28:11,974
Hey, you all right?
522
00:28:12,009 --> 00:28:14,344
I don't know why I'm surprised.
523
00:28:14,377 --> 00:28:17,146
I chose Zach for the same
reason I chose every guy.
524
00:28:17,181 --> 00:28:18,347
Knew it wouldn't last.
525
00:28:19,682 --> 00:28:22,185
Yeah 'cause you've always
been in love with Brian.
526
00:28:23,855 --> 00:28:25,689
Brian, what?
527
00:28:25,721 --> 00:28:26,825
Get outta town.
528
00:28:26,857 --> 00:28:28,392
We're just friends, dawg.
529
00:28:29,358 --> 00:28:30,828
Nah.
530
00:28:30,862 --> 00:28:32,162
Okay.
531
00:28:39,702 --> 00:28:41,204
Stuff really that bad for you?
532
00:28:42,874 --> 00:28:43,874
I don't know.
533
00:28:45,876 --> 00:28:48,545
I think I just got caught up
in what was expected of me.
534
00:28:49,579 --> 00:28:50,882
Never had that problem.
535
00:28:55,586 --> 00:28:56,586
Chaos.
536
00:28:57,253 --> 00:28:59,388
Strange burn pattern.
537
00:29:01,759 --> 00:29:04,394
It was a ghost of Bush/Cheney.
538
00:29:06,730 --> 00:29:07,530
What was that?
539
00:29:07,564 --> 00:29:08,365
Did you hear that?
540
00:29:08,397 --> 00:29:09,867
Yeah.
541
00:29:09,901 --> 00:29:12,368
All right, maybe we
should get the fuck.
542
00:29:21,411 --> 00:29:22,913
You were saying?
543
00:29:29,619 --> 00:29:30,420
Jess, Jess.
544
00:29:30,453 --> 00:29:31,421
Come on, right now.
545
00:29:31,454 --> 00:29:32,256
- Life or death, let's go.
- What?
546
00:29:32,288 --> 00:29:33,089
We're leaving.
547
00:29:33,123 --> 00:29:34,391
Come on, let's go.
548
00:29:36,593 --> 00:29:37,593
Ow.
549
00:29:38,930 --> 00:29:39,730
Fuck you.
550
00:29:39,763 --> 00:29:40,763
Fuck all of you.
551
00:29:44,268 --> 00:29:45,769
What the hell was that?
552
00:29:47,104 --> 00:29:48,438
We mighta seen a monster.
553
00:29:49,941 --> 00:29:52,241
Pretty damn sure that I'm
not the bad guy around here.
554
00:29:54,778 --> 00:29:57,247
I mean I bring food to starving
people around the world.
555
00:30:02,286 --> 00:30:03,252
Not cool.
556
00:30:03,287 --> 00:30:04,287
Leave my shit.
557
00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:09,159
C'mon, c'mon.
558
00:30:20,636 --> 00:30:21,636
Zach!
559
00:30:30,646 --> 00:30:31,950
- Fuck!
- Jesus, he's cut.
560
00:30:31,982 --> 00:30:33,650
- What the?
- Don't fall asleep, okay?
561
00:30:33,683 --> 00:30:37,487
- Stay with me, Bri.
- Oh wow, disgusting.
562
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,288
Landline!
563
00:30:39,323 --> 00:30:40,333
Stay with me, don't fall asleep.
564
00:30:40,356 --> 00:30:41,625
Portable.
565
00:30:41,657 --> 00:30:42,836
Don't fall asleep on me, okay?
566
00:30:42,859 --> 00:30:43,626
Why does it have
to be the portable?
567
00:30:43,660 --> 00:30:45,127
Stay with me.
568
00:30:45,162 --> 00:30:46,296
There's blood everywhere.
569
00:30:46,329 --> 00:30:47,472
We need to get him
to the hospital.
570
00:30:47,497 --> 00:30:48,976
- Jess, we don't even know what's.
- Now!
571
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:49,800
Now, help me.
572
00:30:49,834 --> 00:30:50,834
Help me.
573
00:30:52,336 --> 00:30:53,971
Watch it you're already hurting.
574
00:30:54,005 --> 00:30:55,672
- Louis, c'mon.
- Whoa.
575
00:30:55,705 --> 00:30:56,840
I ain't goin' out there.
576
00:30:56,874 --> 00:30:57,673
Look at him.
577
00:30:57,708 --> 00:30:58,977
Look at those marks.
578
00:30:59,009 --> 00:31:00,319
Please don't be that
preachy coward character
579
00:31:00,344 --> 00:31:01,813
that annoys everyone.
580
00:31:01,846 --> 00:31:05,682
They always die first and I
don't want you to die, buddy.
581
00:31:05,715 --> 00:31:06,715
Okay?
582
00:31:07,683 --> 00:31:09,854
Okay.
583
00:31:11,688 --> 00:31:13,333
- I wanna go in the car.
- All right, c'mon.
584
00:31:13,356 --> 00:31:14,992
It's okay, you're gonna be okay.
585
00:31:16,192 --> 00:31:17,862
- You're gonna make it.
- Okay.
586
00:31:17,894 --> 00:31:18,829
Now get in the back.
587
00:31:18,863 --> 00:31:20,497
- Shit.
- What?
588
00:31:20,529 --> 00:31:22,665
Should we grab some roadies?
589
00:31:22,699 --> 00:31:24,334
Dude, he is dying.
590
00:31:24,367 --> 00:31:26,003
Get in the back seat.
591
00:31:26,037 --> 00:31:27,537
- You first.
- Oh, no no no.
592
00:31:30,207 --> 00:31:32,042
All right, all right.
593
00:31:33,376 --> 00:31:35,177
Watch your foot.
594
00:31:37,213 --> 00:31:39,182
It's just the brake.
595
00:31:39,215 --> 00:31:40,852
What?
596
00:31:40,884 --> 00:31:43,519
- Shit.
- What the fuck was that?
597
00:31:43,552 --> 00:31:45,056
- My god.
- What, why?
598
00:31:47,090 --> 00:31:48,357
I have to poop.
599
00:31:48,392 --> 00:31:49,701
I have to poop
when I get nervous.
600
00:31:49,726 --> 00:31:51,560
Battery's fried.
601
00:31:51,595 --> 00:31:53,363
What's wrong with your car, man?
602
00:31:53,396 --> 00:31:54,898
- Well shit.
- Alex?
603
00:31:56,901 --> 00:31:57,701
You stay there.
604
00:31:57,733 --> 00:31:58,535
Stay there, okay?
605
00:31:58,567 --> 00:32:00,737
We'll be right back.
606
00:32:03,775 --> 00:32:05,910
My hog seems to have
met the same fate.
607
00:32:07,243 --> 00:32:09,712
That's exactly what
the fusebox looked like.
608
00:32:09,746 --> 00:32:13,717
I always imagine me and her
goin' out at the same time.
609
00:32:13,750 --> 00:32:17,220
Wind in my hair, butt-naked
as I drive off the edge of a-.
610
00:32:18,122 --> 00:32:20,557
Did you hear that?
611
00:32:20,589 --> 00:32:22,259
- Back inside.
- Back inside.
612
00:32:23,259 --> 00:32:25,896
C'mon, let's go.
613
00:32:25,930 --> 00:32:27,396
He's okay, he's okay.
614
00:32:27,431 --> 00:32:28,900
Just put him on
the coffee table.
615
00:32:30,768 --> 00:32:32,936
Okay, get the.
616
00:32:32,970 --> 00:32:34,105
Louis, help!
617
00:32:36,140 --> 00:32:37,740
Oh my god, anytime!
618
00:32:40,443 --> 00:32:42,947
- Oh god.
- You're gonna be okay.
619
00:32:42,980 --> 00:32:44,748
Why's he touching me?
620
00:32:44,781 --> 00:32:46,084
No, don't touch me.
621
00:32:46,116 --> 00:32:47,751
Okay, we need to get
the power back on
622
00:32:47,785 --> 00:32:49,753
so we can charge the
phone and call for help.
623
00:32:49,787 --> 00:32:51,253
Okay, is there a generator?
624
00:32:51,288 --> 00:32:52,422
In the shed.
625
00:32:52,455 --> 00:32:54,290
- Okay, let's go.
- Wait, I mean.
626
00:32:55,792 --> 00:32:57,095
The shed, it's outside.
627
00:32:57,127 --> 00:32:58,939
- It's in the dark.
- Yeah, take your flashlight.
628
00:32:58,962 --> 00:33:00,097
Right, yeah.
629
00:33:00,131 --> 00:33:01,965
No, that's exactly
what I was thinking.
630
00:33:01,999 --> 00:33:05,268
Louis while we're doin'
that outside in the dark,
631
00:33:05,301 --> 00:33:08,605
- you stop the bleeding.
- No no no, I'm not sure.
632
00:33:08,637 --> 00:33:10,307
- What?
- I'm not sure.
633
00:33:13,676 --> 00:33:14,945
Dude, what the fuck?
634
00:33:14,979 --> 00:33:16,114
Just gimme a minute.
635
00:33:16,146 --> 00:33:17,815
We don't have a minute, Louis.
636
00:33:19,150 --> 00:33:20,282
Come on, dude.
637
00:33:20,317 --> 00:33:21,786
- You're amazing.
- Okay okay okay.
638
00:33:21,818 --> 00:33:23,788
It's okay.
639
00:33:29,526 --> 00:33:30,994
I see.
640
00:33:31,028 --> 00:33:33,329
Yeah, the problem appears
to be these three cuts.
641
00:33:34,164 --> 00:33:35,133
No shit.
642
00:33:35,165 --> 00:33:36,298
Can you stop the bleeding?
643
00:33:36,333 --> 00:33:39,469
- Who, me?
- You, yeah.
644
00:33:39,502 --> 00:33:40,502
Yeah.
645
00:33:44,008 --> 00:33:45,152
- I'm not a surgeon.
- You're not a surgeon.
646
00:33:45,175 --> 00:33:46,519
- I'm not a surgeon.
- You're not a surgeon?
647
00:33:46,542 --> 00:33:47,979
I found out in medical school
648
00:33:48,011 --> 00:33:49,479
I didn't have the
stomach for it.
649
00:33:49,512 --> 00:33:51,982
Blood makes me queasy as fuck.
650
00:33:52,016 --> 00:33:53,817
You're not a surgeon?
651
00:33:53,851 --> 00:33:55,019
I'm an optometrist.
652
00:33:55,051 --> 00:33:55,987
Christ, Louis.
653
00:33:56,019 --> 00:33:57,319
He doesn't need an eye exam.
654
00:33:57,354 --> 00:33:58,354
I've got this.
655
00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,825
What?
656
00:34:00,857 --> 00:34:02,491
- What's he doing?
- Be gentle.
657
00:34:10,699 --> 00:34:13,838
Okay.
658
00:34:13,871 --> 00:34:16,206
Brian.
659
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:17,673
You don't gotta look.
660
00:34:17,706 --> 00:34:19,018
But you gotta hold
these wounds together
661
00:34:19,043 --> 00:34:20,210
while I glue them, okay?
662
00:34:21,045 --> 00:34:22,045
Now, bro!
663
00:34:22,746 --> 00:34:24,047
Okay okay okay.
664
00:34:29,085 --> 00:34:29,887
Yeah, that's good.
665
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:31,353
That's good.
666
00:34:31,387 --> 00:34:32,190
- No, I'm not ready.
- No, I don't wanna look.
667
00:34:32,222 --> 00:34:33,023
I don't wanna look.
668
00:34:33,056 --> 00:34:35,193
I don't wanna look.
669
00:34:35,226 --> 00:34:38,061
Alex, where did
you learn to do this?
670
00:34:39,262 --> 00:34:40,262
Coachella.
671
00:34:41,565 --> 00:34:43,733
- Okay, good job.
- We're gonna go.
672
00:34:43,768 --> 00:34:44,568
Bye.
673
00:34:44,601 --> 00:34:45,869
Really.
674
00:34:45,902 --> 00:34:47,204
Pullin' it together literally.
675
00:35:00,617 --> 00:35:03,054
Am I keeping it
steady enough for you?
676
00:35:03,086 --> 00:35:04,588
Yes, thank you.
677
00:35:04,621 --> 00:35:07,090
Well, you been staring
into that microscope
678
00:35:07,123 --> 00:35:08,557
for a while instead of engaging
679
00:35:08,592 --> 00:35:10,726
in time-passing conversation.
680
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:12,063
At least throw me a bone.
681
00:35:14,764 --> 00:35:15,565
The blood.
682
00:35:15,599 --> 00:35:16,733
It's the cells.
683
00:35:16,766 --> 00:35:18,735
They're giving off
an electrical charge.
684
00:35:18,768 --> 00:35:20,938
You say that like you
admire the creature.
685
00:35:22,273 --> 00:35:25,076
I just like the opportunity
to understand it better.
686
00:35:25,108 --> 00:35:27,244
The deeper you try to
understand something,
687
00:35:27,277 --> 00:35:28,945
the more gray area
you're gonna unlock.
688
00:35:28,980 --> 00:35:30,914
Gray area equals hesitation.
689
00:35:30,947 --> 00:35:33,951
Hesitation gets us all fucked.
690
00:35:33,985 --> 00:35:35,786
Sounds like my
last relationship.
691
00:35:37,954 --> 00:35:39,289
Damn Wendy, you're funny
692
00:35:40,456 --> 00:35:41,625
but you're also naive.
693
00:35:43,126 --> 00:35:45,628
That device in the wrong hands
does neither of us a service.
694
00:35:46,630 --> 00:35:47,998
Mama wants to get paid too.
695
00:35:49,967 --> 00:35:52,601
Well I could better
understand what we're tracking
696
00:35:52,635 --> 00:35:54,105
if I knew more about the device.
697
00:35:54,137 --> 00:35:55,972
That's above both
our pay grades,
698
00:35:56,806 --> 00:35:58,943
but you saw the corpses.
699
00:35:58,976 --> 00:36:00,677
Whatever it is, we
need to stop it.
700
00:36:03,146 --> 00:36:04,782
Just tell me about that monster.
701
00:36:04,815 --> 00:36:05,958
Honey, let's stop for a second.
702
00:36:05,983 --> 00:36:07,952
- Why's that?
- Because it glowed.
703
00:36:07,985 --> 00:36:09,786
Oh, of course it did.
704
00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:10,954
The cuts on Zachary's chest.
705
00:36:10,987 --> 00:36:12,298
Well, I believe
you saw something.
706
00:36:12,322 --> 00:36:14,324
I'm just not ready to
go full-monster yet.
707
00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:20,998
Okay, we're good.
708
00:36:21,032 --> 00:36:22,800
Just try not to pass out on me
709
00:36:22,833 --> 00:36:24,668
before we get the power back on.
710
00:36:26,503 --> 00:36:28,306
Jess, that was eight years ago
711
00:36:28,338 --> 00:36:30,807
and look I was nervous
because I have.
712
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,311
Yeah and that led to gin shots.
713
00:36:33,344 --> 00:36:35,346
Gin is a vile nemesis.
714
00:36:37,181 --> 00:36:38,490
D'you ever wonder
what would've happened
715
00:36:38,514 --> 00:36:40,851
if you hadn't passed
out that night?
716
00:36:42,887 --> 00:36:44,989
Ah, all right.
717
00:36:45,021 --> 00:36:49,159
- Voila.
- Jesus.
718
00:36:49,193 --> 00:36:51,527
- Does it still work?
- I don't see why not.
719
00:36:54,231 --> 00:36:56,032
Pull it like
someone in their 20s.
720
00:37:00,036 --> 00:37:01,670
All right, here we go.
721
00:37:01,704 --> 00:37:02,840
All right, here we go.
722
00:37:02,873 --> 00:37:04,007
- Oh god.
- Shit.
723
00:37:04,041 --> 00:37:05,708
I think it's outta gas.
724
00:37:07,577 --> 00:37:09,847
Maybe we can siphon some fuel.
725
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,880
Zachary's car!
726
00:37:10,914 --> 00:37:12,548
- Electric.
- Ah, shit.
727
00:37:12,581 --> 00:37:13,384
Right.
728
00:37:13,416 --> 00:37:14,416
Damn you, Elon.
729
00:37:15,719 --> 00:37:18,021
Oh, Alex has a gas-guzzling hog.
730
00:37:18,054 --> 00:37:21,358
- Okay, what do we do?
- Grab that.
731
00:37:21,391 --> 00:37:22,860
Okay.
732
00:37:22,893 --> 00:37:24,371
You know, I should've
stayed in Miami.
733
00:37:24,394 --> 00:37:25,561
Maggie and the kids.
734
00:37:26,764 --> 00:37:28,932
My sweet, sweet,
sweet wife and kids.
735
00:37:30,266 --> 00:37:31,268
Success.
736
00:37:33,237 --> 00:37:35,039
Is he going to live?
737
00:37:35,072 --> 00:37:36,739
I'm not a doctor.
738
00:37:37,740 --> 00:37:38,740
What are you?
739
00:37:39,777 --> 00:37:40,777
Thirsty.
740
00:37:43,079 --> 00:37:44,079
Right there.
741
00:37:54,257 --> 00:37:55,425
Why'd you lie?
742
00:37:59,096 --> 00:38:00,730
I didn't mean to.
743
00:38:00,764 --> 00:38:03,733
Just lied once to buy some time,
744
00:38:03,768 --> 00:38:04,945
then again to buy a little more
745
00:38:04,969 --> 00:38:06,246
and before you know it, I was...
746
00:38:06,269 --> 00:38:09,106
You got a Technicolor
Dreamcoat made of lies
747
00:38:09,139 --> 00:38:13,077
and everyone's all, "Damn,
that's a fuckin' nice coat."
748
00:38:13,110 --> 00:38:15,813
And you're like, "Damn right,
this shit's snakeskin."
749
00:38:17,114 --> 00:38:19,949
But you know it's salamander.
750
00:38:24,621 --> 00:38:26,990
Optometry is a noble profession.
751
00:38:28,492 --> 00:38:32,262
You know they say the eyes
are the window to the soul,
752
00:38:32,295 --> 00:38:36,132
so that makes you a soul doctor.
753
00:38:37,634 --> 00:38:39,969
What the fuck
does that even mean?
754
00:38:41,505 --> 00:38:43,282
I think you're a little
more qualified for this one.
755
00:38:43,306 --> 00:38:44,275
I'm not.
756
00:38:44,307 --> 00:38:45,318
What's that supposed to mean?
757
00:38:45,342 --> 00:38:46,342
Well, you know.
758
00:38:52,016 --> 00:38:53,615
Siphoning gas has
a lot more in common
759
00:38:53,650 --> 00:38:56,152
with drinking a milkshake
than sucking dick, dick.
760
00:38:57,487 --> 00:38:59,155
Hey, I didn't know that.
761
00:39:00,824 --> 00:39:02,659
Look, listen.
762
00:39:02,692 --> 00:39:04,295
I'm sorry about.
763
00:39:04,327 --> 00:39:06,530
It wasn't my place to
call out your boyfriend.
764
00:39:07,498 --> 00:39:08,798
My boyfriend who's gonna die
765
00:39:08,833 --> 00:39:10,835
if we don't get gas
in that generator.
766
00:39:11,869 --> 00:39:12,869
Okay.
767
00:39:16,172 --> 00:39:18,141
I shouldn't have brought him.
768
00:39:18,175 --> 00:39:19,641
I didn't want to,
769
00:39:19,675 --> 00:39:22,179
but he has this way of inserting
himself and everything.
770
00:39:24,014 --> 00:39:25,648
Suck, motherfucker.
771
00:39:28,385 --> 00:39:29,186
Okay.
772
00:39:29,219 --> 00:39:30,153
Are you okay?
773
00:39:30,186 --> 00:39:31,822
God, it tastes like a YMCA.
774
00:39:31,856 --> 00:39:34,157
All right, it's comin' out.
775
00:39:36,025 --> 00:39:38,329
All right, we're back.
776
00:39:38,362 --> 00:39:41,664
Let's head back in the house.
777
00:39:41,697 --> 00:39:42,833
What, what?
778
00:39:42,867 --> 00:39:43,833
What's goin' on?
779
00:39:43,867 --> 00:39:45,668
Something just ran past me.
780
00:39:45,702 --> 00:39:46,536
The monster?
781
00:39:46,570 --> 00:39:47,838
Stop sayin' that.
782
00:39:47,871 --> 00:39:49,340
What?
783
00:39:49,373 --> 00:39:50,373
Giant squirrel.
784
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:53,376
And I can't say monster?
785
00:39:56,413 --> 00:39:57,380
He was over that way.
786
00:39:57,414 --> 00:39:58,916
Okay, all right.
787
00:40:00,416 --> 00:40:02,253
- Right there.
- Where?
788
00:40:03,554 --> 00:40:05,021
Look, there!
789
00:40:05,054 --> 00:40:08,525
How many of those
fuckers are there?
790
00:40:14,931 --> 00:40:16,400
Holy shit, it was glowing.
791
00:40:17,568 --> 00:40:19,869
And she never doubted him again.
792
00:40:27,077 --> 00:40:28,545
It's charging.
793
00:40:28,579 --> 00:40:31,248
Give it a minute
of juice and then call 911
794
00:40:33,416 --> 00:40:35,885
and see if you can find a
place that delivers beer
795
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,922
or the ambulance
can make a stop.
796
00:40:42,927 --> 00:40:45,396
Actually just do
it the first way.
797
00:40:49,300 --> 00:40:50,733
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon.
798
00:40:50,768 --> 00:40:51,768
Let's go.
799
00:40:55,606 --> 00:40:56,606
Oh my god.
800
00:41:12,489 --> 00:41:14,257
What is that thing?
801
00:41:44,487 --> 00:41:45,989
- Run?
- Yeah.
802
00:41:48,157 --> 00:41:49,157
Oh shit.
803
00:41:50,661 --> 00:41:52,963
Goddamn it, Mariah Carey.
804
00:41:52,996 --> 00:41:54,164
It's not working.
805
00:41:57,333 --> 00:41:59,637
- Hey, what happened?
- Monsters.
806
00:41:59,670 --> 00:42:00,471
Not you too.
807
00:42:00,503 --> 00:42:01,972
How's Zachary?
808
00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:04,474
Not long for this world
if we don't get help.
809
00:42:04,507 --> 00:42:06,010
We're almost outta beer.
810
00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:07,811
Alex, there's
like two more cases.
811
00:42:07,844 --> 00:42:10,146
Yeah, but one of
those is light beer.
812
00:42:10,179 --> 00:42:11,481
Light beer!
813
00:42:11,514 --> 00:42:12,983
Seriously, what happened?
814
00:42:13,016 --> 00:42:15,985
Seriously, we got attacked
by electricity-eating monsters.
815
00:42:16,019 --> 00:42:18,322
Fine, what'd it look like?
816
00:42:18,355 --> 00:42:19,657
It's hard to describe.
817
00:42:19,690 --> 00:42:21,659
We only saw it
clearly from the back.
818
00:42:21,692 --> 00:42:23,661
Did it look like the Babadook?
819
00:42:23,693 --> 00:42:25,329
Why would it look
like the Babadook?
820
00:42:25,362 --> 00:42:28,164
Why wouldn't it look
like the Babadook?
821
00:42:28,197 --> 00:42:29,833
What the hell's a Babadook?
822
00:42:29,867 --> 00:42:31,201
Fuck it, I'm doin' shrooms.
823
00:42:34,538 --> 00:42:36,873
You know I think we should
keep our heads on straight.
824
00:42:36,907 --> 00:42:39,009
- Louis!
- What?
825
00:42:39,043 --> 00:42:40,510
I have glaucoma.
826
00:42:40,543 --> 00:42:41,911
Fuck it, gimme that.
827
00:42:48,385 --> 00:42:50,521
All right, Jess.
828
00:42:50,554 --> 00:42:51,355
Fuck it, also.
829
00:42:51,387 --> 00:42:52,523
Pour me a shot.
830
00:42:52,556 --> 00:42:56,559
Hell yeah, party's back.
831
00:42:59,063 --> 00:43:00,731
- They're already poured.
- Mm-hmm.
832
00:43:02,565 --> 00:43:05,702
To the mysteries of the
world and survivin' them.
833
00:43:09,739 --> 00:43:11,909
What the fuck was that?
834
00:43:13,077 --> 00:43:14,411
- Oh fuck.
- Oh god.
835
00:43:17,081 --> 00:43:19,550
Hold hold, we got a hit.
836
00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:22,219
That's enough energy
to power a small village.
837
00:43:22,251 --> 00:43:23,721
Coming from 30 miles away.
838
00:43:23,755 --> 00:43:25,255
Hold onto your beakers, Wendy.
839
00:43:26,255 --> 00:43:28,092
I didn't bring any beakers.
840
00:43:29,592 --> 00:43:32,228
I say we should stay
here and wait it out.
841
00:43:32,262 --> 00:43:34,097
But there's a
problem with Zachary.
842
00:43:34,130 --> 00:43:35,565
Zachary Zachary Zachary.
843
00:43:35,599 --> 00:43:36,744
Since when do you
care about him?
844
00:43:36,768 --> 00:43:38,769
Now you have a shot with Jess.
845
00:43:38,802 --> 00:43:39,603
What?
846
00:43:39,635 --> 00:43:41,237
Dawg.
847
00:43:41,271 --> 00:43:43,273
That is so fucked up, Louis.
848
00:43:43,306 --> 00:43:46,909
- Yeah.
- Definitely not cool.
849
00:43:46,943 --> 00:43:48,112
Zach, are you okay?
850
00:43:49,278 --> 00:43:51,414
- Yeah, no.
- Sorry.
851
00:43:51,447 --> 00:43:53,449
No but I'm standing.
852
00:43:54,952 --> 00:43:56,262
We're gonna get to
the hospital, okay?
853
00:43:56,286 --> 00:43:57,920
So stay alive.
854
00:43:57,954 --> 00:43:59,088
Okay.
855
00:43:59,123 --> 00:44:00,123
Jess,
856
00:44:01,793 --> 00:44:02,925
I'm sorry.
857
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:04,103
I'll tell you what
a jackass you are
858
00:44:04,128 --> 00:44:06,262
when you're on the mend, okay?
859
00:44:06,295 --> 00:44:07,295
The Schwinns!
860
00:44:09,800 --> 00:44:11,268
Our old bikes?
861
00:44:11,300 --> 00:44:12,478
Yeah, they should still
be somewhere in the barn.
862
00:44:12,503 --> 00:44:13,612
Thought you said there
were monsters out there.
863
00:44:13,637 --> 00:44:15,472
There's a monster in here.
864
00:44:26,182 --> 00:44:27,951
This is madness.
865
00:44:27,985 --> 00:44:30,954
Don't worry, I think I left
a six-pack in here somewhere.
866
00:44:30,987 --> 00:44:32,989
Okay, there you guys go.
867
00:44:33,023 --> 00:44:34,123
The bikes.
868
00:44:34,157 --> 00:44:36,293
- I think if we split up.
- Found 'em!
869
00:44:36,326 --> 00:44:37,326
Yeah, okay.
870
00:44:41,498 --> 00:44:44,635
Wow, these bikes
do not look healthy.
871
00:44:44,668 --> 00:44:45,969
Jess is right.
872
00:44:46,003 --> 00:44:47,313
These things could
fall apart on us.
873
00:44:47,336 --> 00:44:49,639
Hey guys, can you
come here and tell me
874
00:44:49,672 --> 00:44:51,641
if I'm actually seein' a thing
875
00:44:51,675 --> 00:44:54,846
or if this thing's a
manifestation of the shrooms?
876
00:44:57,882 --> 00:44:59,550
Whoa, what is that?
877
00:45:01,351 --> 00:45:03,519
It looks otherworldly.
878
00:45:04,688 --> 00:45:06,722
Well careful,
it might be dangerous.
879
00:45:11,195 --> 00:45:13,664
Bri, when did
your dad get into welding?
880
00:45:13,697 --> 00:45:16,500
You're the
Bill Nye of the group.
881
00:45:16,532 --> 00:45:17,532
What is it?
882
00:45:19,903 --> 00:45:20,903
I don't know.
883
00:45:22,206 --> 00:45:23,507
I've seen enough movies to say
884
00:45:23,539 --> 00:45:25,074
with grave certainty
it's nothin' good.
885
00:45:27,411 --> 00:45:28,847
Looks like a giant football.
886
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,047
What happens when
this thing's all lit up?
887
00:45:32,548 --> 00:45:34,717
Jesus Christ, don't touch it!
888
00:45:34,751 --> 00:45:36,855
What is this?
889
00:45:36,887 --> 00:45:38,355
A bomb?
890
00:45:40,423 --> 00:45:41,423
Zach, no!
891
00:45:45,596 --> 00:45:47,030
It ain't no Babadook.
892
00:45:47,063 --> 00:45:49,065
Oh my god, it's an alien.
893
00:45:53,771 --> 00:45:56,539
Oh my god, it's a real alien!
894
00:46:07,083 --> 00:46:09,253
What are
you doing? Hurry up!
895
00:46:09,286 --> 00:46:12,389
It's lightin' up!
896
00:46:21,766 --> 00:46:23,768
Holy, I wanna get an alien!
897
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,402
I can't believe
we just saw an alien.
898
00:46:26,436 --> 00:46:28,572
I'm glad you're excited, Bri.
899
00:46:28,605 --> 00:46:30,740
I'm so fucking happy
you have enough material
900
00:46:30,775 --> 00:46:33,777
for your next science project,
but my boyfriend is dead.
901
00:46:34,811 --> 00:46:36,121
And he may not have
been the best boyfriend,
902
00:46:36,146 --> 00:46:38,614
but he was a human
being who I care about.
903
00:46:39,615 --> 00:46:40,615
Sorry, Jess.
904
00:46:41,617 --> 00:46:42,585
I get carried away.
905
00:46:42,619 --> 00:46:44,086
You always get carried away.
906
00:46:44,121 --> 00:46:46,824
Whether it's your fantasies
about building rockets
907
00:46:47,791 --> 00:46:49,259
or taking too many gin shots.
908
00:46:51,963 --> 00:46:53,106
Why don't you apply
some of that energy
909
00:46:53,130 --> 00:46:55,465
to something with an
actual end result?
910
00:46:55,498 --> 00:46:59,101
Jess honestly, my
condolences and all.
911
00:46:59,135 --> 00:47:00,780
But can we please save
the personal grievance
912
00:47:00,804 --> 00:47:02,940
for after we escape the alien?
913
00:47:02,974 --> 00:47:04,507
Come on guys, let's pedal.
914
00:47:06,643 --> 00:47:07,643
Wait!
915
00:47:08,512 --> 00:47:09,780
What if Zach was right?
916
00:47:09,813 --> 00:47:11,949
What if that is a
bomb back there?
917
00:47:11,983 --> 00:47:14,650
So, about that pedaling.
918
00:47:14,684 --> 00:47:15,684
Yeah.
919
00:47:23,159 --> 00:47:24,327
Oh, fuck me sideways.
920
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:25,461
Brian!
921
00:47:25,494 --> 00:47:27,831
Dude, a bomb!
922
00:47:33,838 --> 00:47:35,371
According to Stephen Hawking:
923
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,177
If intelligent alien life
exists which apparently it does,
924
00:47:43,179 --> 00:47:46,483
they'll most likely conquer
earth to exploit our resources.
925
00:47:46,516 --> 00:47:47,684
That sounds terrifying.
926
00:47:47,717 --> 00:47:49,152
So why are we stopped?!
927
00:47:49,186 --> 00:47:53,322
That device had
a light meter on it
928
00:47:53,356 --> 00:47:54,657
that was nearly powered up.
929
00:47:54,690 --> 00:47:57,159
But what happens when
all the lights are lit?
930
00:47:57,193 --> 00:47:58,996
It does whatever it
was designed to do,
931
00:47:59,030 --> 00:48:04,034
whether that be a bomb or
some kinda matter decimator.
932
00:48:05,369 --> 00:48:07,503
Isn't the latter just a
fancier way of sayin' bomb?
933
00:48:07,536 --> 00:48:11,708
Earth is in trouble.
934
00:48:13,210 --> 00:48:15,012
You want us to go back?
935
00:48:15,045 --> 00:48:16,545
Are you insane?
936
00:48:16,579 --> 00:48:19,682
I don't know about you, but
I don't wanna die tonight.
937
00:48:19,715 --> 00:48:21,684
Again, my condolences.
938
00:48:21,717 --> 00:48:23,353
Someone has to stop it.
939
00:48:23,387 --> 00:48:25,389
That's what
the police are for, man.
940
00:48:25,422 --> 00:48:26,858
We're 20 miles from town.
941
00:48:26,891 --> 00:48:30,559
With these bikes, there's
not gonna be time.
942
00:48:31,394 --> 00:48:34,231
Come on.
943
00:48:37,733 --> 00:48:38,733
Hey.
944
00:48:40,905 --> 00:48:42,907
The universe is endless,
945
00:48:46,077 --> 00:48:48,744
cold and impartial.
946
00:48:51,414 --> 00:48:55,719
We exist because we fought
947
00:48:55,753 --> 00:48:56,753
to be here.
948
00:48:59,757 --> 00:49:02,458
The universe gave us a chance
949
00:49:04,260 --> 00:49:05,262
and we grabbed hold.
950
00:49:06,764 --> 00:49:09,465
We planted our flag in the
ground and said, "We belong."
951
00:49:11,768 --> 00:49:13,436
We choose to belong to this
952
00:49:15,472 --> 00:49:17,141
beautiful mess of chaos.
953
00:49:19,275 --> 00:49:21,945
Survival isn't handed
to anyone or anything.
954
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:24,280
Survival
955
00:49:25,949 --> 00:49:26,949
is fought for.
956
00:49:29,820 --> 00:49:32,489
Did you just have that
speech in your back pocket?
957
00:49:33,623 --> 00:49:34,623
Yeah, I did.
958
00:49:36,326 --> 00:49:37,929
'Kay.
959
00:49:37,961 --> 00:49:40,797
Help me apply my energy to
somethin' with an end result.
960
00:49:44,467 --> 00:49:45,469
You're all insane.
961
00:49:46,971 --> 00:49:49,639
Three eulogies, that's what
I'm gonna be writing soon.
962
00:49:51,809 --> 00:49:53,777
I'm out, see ya.
963
00:49:53,811 --> 00:49:55,644
- Aw c'mon, Louis!
- No, man.
964
00:49:57,313 --> 00:49:59,449
Look maybe he's right, Bri.
965
00:49:59,483 --> 00:50:00,818
Maybe we are insane.
966
00:50:02,485 --> 00:50:04,521
What have we ever been
together but drunk?
967
00:50:06,322 --> 00:50:07,322
Friends.
968
00:50:16,833 --> 00:50:18,202
You can count on my steel.
969
00:50:19,836 --> 00:50:20,804
I'm in, too.
970
00:50:20,838 --> 00:50:21,637
Yeah, Alex.
971
00:50:21,670 --> 00:50:22,639
I figured as much.
972
00:50:22,672 --> 00:50:24,007
The booze is still back there.
973
00:50:24,041 --> 00:50:25,474
Ooh.
974
00:50:25,509 --> 00:50:29,646
You know me so well.
975
00:50:31,047 --> 00:50:32,817
Welcome to the armory.
976
00:50:32,849 --> 00:50:33,851
This is a tool shed.
977
00:50:35,018 --> 00:50:36,853
I know, just grab a weapon.
978
00:50:36,887 --> 00:50:37,887
Okay.
979
00:50:38,856 --> 00:50:42,159
, okay.
980
00:51:05,048 --> 00:51:07,018
Ooh, can I get the saws?
981
00:51:22,900 --> 00:51:24,202
I feel like somebody should say
982
00:51:24,235 --> 00:51:26,036
something witty and
battle-ready here.
983
00:51:26,070 --> 00:51:28,572
Maybe we just defy that
cliche and save the world.
984
00:51:28,605 --> 00:51:30,574
Let's poke some
holes in their plan.
985
00:51:30,606 --> 00:51:31,740
- There it is.
- Yeah.
986
00:51:32,909 --> 00:51:34,376
Let's say we kill
all these things.
987
00:51:34,411 --> 00:51:35,880
How do we defuse the device?
988
00:51:35,913 --> 00:51:38,215
Well Brian's a
mechanical engineer.
989
00:51:38,248 --> 00:51:39,748
Yeah, I am that.
990
00:51:40,784 --> 00:51:41,784
Guys?
991
00:51:47,423 --> 00:51:49,559
Approach slowly
or charge quickly?
992
00:52:01,438 --> 00:52:02,405
Did that thing just disappear?
993
00:52:02,438 --> 00:52:03,940
Are you okay?
994
00:52:03,974 --> 00:52:05,909
That tree is all
bark and no bite.
995
00:52:05,943 --> 00:52:07,077
Oh, bad puns.
996
00:52:07,110 --> 00:52:08,577
He's okay.
997
00:52:08,612 --> 00:52:10,914
That's a bad bump; I'll live.
998
00:52:10,947 --> 00:52:13,083
I'd hate for little
Cammy, Ryu, Guile, Blanka,
999
00:52:13,117 --> 00:52:15,485
Bison and Chun-Li to
grow up without a father.
1000
00:52:16,786 --> 00:52:19,257
- You have kids?
- You have six kids?
1001
00:52:19,289 --> 00:52:20,757
Are those Street
Fighter characters?
1002
00:52:20,791 --> 00:52:23,425
Seriously Alex, who
are you these days?
1003
00:52:23,460 --> 00:52:26,130
Some guy doin' what he
has to in this crazy world.
1004
00:52:28,298 --> 00:52:29,833
There's another one.
1005
00:52:31,802 --> 00:52:32,936
Oh shit.
1006
00:52:32,969 --> 00:52:34,137
What?
1007
00:52:35,306 --> 00:52:36,940
There's only one.
1008
00:52:36,974 --> 00:52:38,943
What do you mean?
They're all over the damn place.
1009
00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:39,976
No.
1010
00:52:40,677 --> 00:52:42,146
It's all over the damn place.
1011
00:52:44,181 --> 00:52:45,181
It can teleport.
1012
00:52:46,650 --> 00:52:48,451
Not so bad.
1013
00:52:48,485 --> 00:52:49,452
Just one alien.
1014
00:52:49,485 --> 00:52:50,653
They can teleport.
1015
00:52:53,489 --> 00:52:55,458
Maybe we need to rethink this.
1016
00:53:01,831 --> 00:53:02,967
Don't touch my friend,
1017
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:04,668
you ET wannabe bitch!
1018
00:53:14,210 --> 00:53:15,545
Where'd he go?
1019
00:53:16,679 --> 00:53:19,317
Shit, I just know that thing's
1020
00:53:19,349 --> 00:53:21,152
gonna pop up at any...
1021
00:53:22,186 --> 00:53:23,186
Jump scare.
1022
00:53:36,032 --> 00:53:41,038
Where's Jess?
1023
00:53:41,538 --> 00:53:42,539
Jess!
1024
00:54:15,572 --> 00:54:16,572
What?
1025
00:54:20,577 --> 00:54:21,577
Who are they?
1026
00:54:22,913 --> 00:54:23,880
Bad asses.
1027
00:54:23,914 --> 00:54:25,547
Are you guys all right?
1028
00:54:25,581 --> 00:54:28,385
More importantly, have
you seen a metallic device
1029
00:54:28,418 --> 00:54:29,920
with blinking lights?
1030
00:54:29,954 --> 00:54:31,255
Who are you?
1031
00:54:31,288 --> 00:54:32,565
This is Dr. Wendy
Barnes and I'm Chum.
1032
00:54:32,588 --> 00:54:35,393
We were hired to track
and kill that thing.
1033
00:54:35,425 --> 00:54:36,559
Hired by who?
1034
00:54:36,592 --> 00:54:38,262
I'm gonna let you
guess my next sentence.
1035
00:54:38,295 --> 00:54:40,231
Is it top secret?
1036
00:54:40,264 --> 00:54:42,400
- It's top secret.
- Yeah.
1037
00:54:42,432 --> 00:54:43,733
Put that thing down.
1038
00:54:43,768 --> 00:54:45,244
I didn't just shoot a
game-winning three pointer.
1039
00:54:45,268 --> 00:54:48,438
One last time, have you seen
a strange-looking device?
1040
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:50,273
It's in the barn.
1041
00:54:50,306 --> 00:54:51,275
We should get them inside.
1042
00:54:51,307 --> 00:54:52,777
I'd like to interrogate them.
1043
00:54:54,110 --> 00:54:55,110
Fine.
1044
00:54:56,112 --> 00:54:57,947
- You got anything to drink?
- Uh-huh.
1045
00:55:03,619 --> 00:55:07,291
That
explains why its blood cells
1046
00:55:07,324 --> 00:55:09,092
are actively electrical.
1047
00:55:09,126 --> 00:55:10,260
Thank you.
1048
00:55:10,293 --> 00:55:12,262
This thing literally
feeds off electricity.
1049
00:55:12,295 --> 00:55:14,597
Hence our romantic setup.
1050
00:55:14,630 --> 00:55:17,300
Of course it'll need
to keep its body charged.
1051
00:55:18,835 --> 00:55:20,938
So the government knows
about this thing, huh?
1052
00:55:20,971 --> 00:55:22,282
Never said anything
about the government.
1053
00:55:22,306 --> 00:55:24,108
Ah, sure because you can't.
1054
00:55:24,141 --> 00:55:26,277
But I mean, it's
obviously the government.
1055
00:55:26,309 --> 00:55:27,610
There's other groups out there
1056
00:55:27,643 --> 00:55:30,114
we've invested interest
in our planet's future.
1057
00:55:30,146 --> 00:55:32,148
Look, you don't have to
say it's the government.
1058
00:55:32,182 --> 00:55:33,451
We'll just all silently know.
1059
00:55:33,483 --> 00:55:36,286
And you were in the
fifth dimension with it?
1060
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:37,320
Mm-hmm.
1061
00:55:39,523 --> 00:55:41,634
Can I put this in your rectum?
I'd like to get a reading.
1062
00:55:41,657 --> 00:55:42,625
No.
1063
00:55:42,659 --> 00:55:44,128
Fine then.
1064
00:55:44,161 --> 00:55:47,465
We got a teleporting
alien that can be injured,
1065
00:55:47,498 --> 00:55:48,965
therefore can be killed.
1066
00:55:48,998 --> 00:55:51,802
Yeah, but first you gotta
get it to stand still.
1067
00:55:51,835 --> 00:55:54,972
Man if I was sober, that
wouldn't even be necessary.
1068
00:55:55,005 --> 00:55:58,476
My reflexes are that of a cobra.
1069
00:55:58,509 --> 00:56:00,643
I will decapitate that
mecha mean motherfucker
1070
00:56:00,677 --> 00:56:05,681
before it could teleport into
whatever dimension.
1071
00:56:06,851 --> 00:56:07,994
Too bad you're
never sober, Alex.
1072
00:56:08,018 --> 00:56:09,987
'Cause your reflexes
are for shit.
1073
00:56:10,019 --> 00:56:11,653
Alcohol.
1074
00:56:11,688 --> 00:56:13,356
- What?
- Alcohol.
1075
00:56:14,525 --> 00:56:15,692
Yup, damn right.
1076
00:56:15,724 --> 00:56:18,695
No, alcohol slows
down your reaction time.
1077
00:56:18,728 --> 00:56:20,530
He's right, that's science.
1078
00:56:20,563 --> 00:56:21,697
Thank you.
1079
00:56:21,731 --> 00:56:23,009
But right now we
can't kill that thing
1080
00:56:23,032 --> 00:56:25,001
because we can't get a
clear shot at it, but...
1081
00:56:25,034 --> 00:56:27,036
If we get even more fucked up.
1082
00:56:27,070 --> 00:56:28,070
No, listen.
1083
00:56:31,041 --> 00:56:32,708
I know how we take
down this alien.
1084
00:56:34,378 --> 00:56:35,378
We get it drunk.
1085
00:56:36,713 --> 00:56:38,349
Hey, I'm totally
not gettin' the plan.
1086
00:56:38,382 --> 00:56:40,184
We get the alien drunk.
1087
00:56:40,217 --> 00:56:42,018
Like in party with it?
1088
00:56:42,052 --> 00:56:44,021
To slow down its reaction time.
1089
00:56:44,054 --> 00:56:44,889
Exactly.
1090
00:56:44,922 --> 00:56:46,356
Each time the alien teleports,
1091
00:56:46,389 --> 00:56:47,858
its body feeds it electricity.
1092
00:56:47,891 --> 00:56:49,226
And if we slow
down that reaction.
1093
00:56:49,260 --> 00:56:51,362
We can put a
bullet in its brain.
1094
00:56:51,394 --> 00:56:53,730
This is all great, but we
have one major problem here.
1095
00:56:53,764 --> 00:56:55,365
How do we get it drunk?
1096
00:56:55,398 --> 00:56:56,733
I know, I know.
1097
00:56:56,766 --> 00:56:57,766
I know!
1098
00:56:59,235 --> 00:57:00,204
That been happening a lot?
1099
00:57:00,237 --> 00:57:02,039
Yeah, it's the device.
1100
00:57:02,072 --> 00:57:04,909
One more and that
thing's fully-charged.
1101
00:57:06,409 --> 00:57:10,213
Well we can't just march out
there and offer him a beer.
1102
00:57:10,246 --> 00:57:11,248
We won't have to.
1103
00:57:12,748 --> 00:57:14,050
I know that smile.
1104
00:57:14,083 --> 00:57:16,219
That's the Brian's
got a plan smile.
1105
00:57:16,253 --> 00:57:17,420
Brian's got a plan.
1106
00:58:04,001 --> 00:58:05,603
Thanks, mom and dad.
1107
00:58:08,806 --> 00:58:10,474
Ladies, gentleman.
1108
00:58:10,507 --> 00:58:13,610
I give you the Skaggs
hydroelectric beer bong.
1109
00:58:13,643 --> 00:58:15,778
Our alien will come
for the electricity,
1110
00:58:15,813 --> 00:58:17,648
but also get a belly
full of tub hooch.
1111
00:58:22,318 --> 00:58:24,822
All right people, let's move.
1112
00:58:29,525 --> 00:58:30,525
Don't linger.
1113
00:58:31,327 --> 00:58:33,297
You just make sure you hit it.
1114
00:58:33,329 --> 00:58:34,364
Oh, I'm gonna hit it
1115
00:58:38,335 --> 00:58:39,536
and then I'm gonna hit it.
1116
00:58:41,338 --> 00:58:43,039
- Okay.
- Cool.
1117
00:58:46,342 --> 00:58:48,144
You were right to say
that to me earlier
1118
00:58:48,177 --> 00:58:49,847
'bout not finishing
what I start.
1119
00:58:51,547 --> 00:58:54,485
Not sure why I always
get in my own way,
1120
00:58:54,518 --> 00:58:56,653
just my nature as a fuck up.
1121
00:58:56,686 --> 00:59:00,190
Bri, fuck ups are the
people that don't even try.
1122
00:59:01,358 --> 00:59:04,527
So if this bong
fails and we all die,
1123
00:59:05,695 --> 00:59:08,197
the lesson here is
at least I've tried?
1124
00:59:08,231 --> 00:59:10,867
Correct.
1125
00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:13,871
Now, let's party.
1126
00:59:15,039 --> 00:59:16,039
Let's boogie.
1127
00:59:31,088 --> 00:59:32,389
Please do the honors, me lady.
1128
00:59:46,070 --> 00:59:47,570
Fuckin' shit.
1129
00:59:47,603 --> 00:59:48,603
Look.
1130
00:59:49,739 --> 00:59:50,739
Wow.
1131
00:59:51,909 --> 00:59:53,242
Fuck me twice on a Tuesday.
1132
00:59:54,577 --> 00:59:55,577
Positions.
1133
00:59:56,914 --> 00:59:57,914
Stay safe, Chum.
1134
01:00:15,465 --> 01:00:16,826
I can't believe
it actually worked.
1135
01:00:19,436 --> 01:00:20,737
Shit.
1136
01:00:26,777 --> 01:00:28,612
He's taking the bait.
1137
01:00:35,619 --> 01:00:36,420
Ready?
1138
01:00:36,452 --> 01:00:37,954
I was born to be bait.
1139
01:00:38,822 --> 01:00:41,257
Hey, Wendy!
1140
01:00:41,291 --> 01:00:42,626
Yes?
1141
01:00:42,659 --> 01:00:44,293
- I forgot your name.
- Alex.
1142
01:00:45,461 --> 01:00:46,630
Yes, Alex?!
1143
01:00:47,998 --> 01:00:51,635
Let's explore this barn
and all the contents within!
1144
01:00:52,836 --> 01:00:53,971
Great idea!
1145
01:01:10,987 --> 01:01:15,793
I'll just pull this handle
and the door should open
1146
01:01:15,827 --> 01:01:20,030
and we'll be inside peeing
on anythin' we want!
1147
01:01:33,010 --> 01:01:37,014
- Gross.
- Eww, gross!
1148
01:01:40,184 --> 01:01:41,652
Chum, now!
1149
01:01:41,684 --> 01:01:43,855
Here's to paying my rent
for another six months.
1150
01:01:53,362 --> 01:01:55,532
We claim you, alien fuck.
1151
01:02:00,036 --> 01:02:01,003
He came back.
1152
01:02:01,038 --> 01:02:03,842
Yeah and fucked everything up.
1153
01:02:03,875 --> 01:02:06,510
True, but friendship first.
1154
01:02:06,543 --> 01:02:08,512
Yeah, I guess.
1155
01:02:10,047 --> 01:02:12,048
- Let's go.
- Yeah, yeah!
1156
01:02:13,217 --> 01:02:14,184
What the hell?
1157
01:02:14,217 --> 01:02:15,686
That was so dope.
1158
01:02:15,719 --> 01:02:16,719
Oh my god.
1159
01:02:21,257 --> 01:02:24,193
Look, I'm putting the gun down.
1160
01:02:24,228 --> 01:02:25,695
'Kay?
1161
01:02:25,728 --> 01:02:29,532
Now you let Dr. Barnes go
and we'll leave, how's that?
1162
01:02:31,068 --> 01:02:33,269
Finish your business here
and we turn a blind eye.
1163
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:38,407
Don't worry about me.
1164
01:02:39,275 --> 01:02:40,376
One for many.
1165
01:02:40,409 --> 01:02:41,409
Right.
1166
01:02:43,079 --> 01:02:44,079
No more weapons.
1167
01:02:45,248 --> 01:02:47,050
Totally weapon-free.
1168
01:02:47,083 --> 01:02:48,753
Just two empty hands with peace.
1169
01:02:51,588 --> 01:02:53,056
No!
1170
01:02:55,092 --> 01:02:56,260
Shit.
1171
01:03:07,603 --> 01:03:08,773
I'm so sorry.
1172
01:03:12,275 --> 01:03:13,777
It's beautiful.
1173
01:03:28,324 --> 01:03:30,126
I said I usually work alone.
1174
01:03:31,795 --> 01:03:32,963
I didn't say I liked it.
1175
01:03:38,467 --> 01:03:39,938
Any more douchebags
gonna pop out
1176
01:03:39,971 --> 01:03:41,972
and get someone else killed?
1177
01:03:42,005 --> 01:03:44,273
Why do I feel like that
was directed towards me?
1178
01:03:44,307 --> 01:03:46,945
Who is this Tomb
Raider-looking woman?
1179
01:03:46,978 --> 01:03:49,146
- What do we do now?
- Improvise.
1180
01:03:52,016 --> 01:03:53,317
You seem the least drunk.
1181
01:03:53,349 --> 01:03:55,117
You must be blind.
1182
01:03:55,152 --> 01:03:56,320
My pitchfork will do.
1183
01:03:57,487 --> 01:03:58,956
Looks like we're ready to go.
1184
01:04:01,157 --> 01:04:03,659
Hey, it means a lot
that you came back
1185
01:04:04,829 --> 01:04:06,295
even if you did
get Wendy killed.
1186
01:04:06,329 --> 01:04:08,800
First of all, why does
everybody keep saying that?
1187
01:04:08,833 --> 01:04:09,967
Because it's true.
1188
01:04:10,001 --> 01:04:11,300
No, it's not.
1189
01:04:11,335 --> 01:04:12,478
Yes, her blood is on your hands.
1190
01:04:12,501 --> 01:04:14,304
I wasn't the one
that threw the knife.
1191
01:04:14,338 --> 01:04:15,514
It's not your fault, but it is.
1192
01:04:15,539 --> 01:04:16,817
Anyway, what were you gonna say?
1193
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,307
I just couldn't stop thinking
1194
01:04:18,342 --> 01:04:20,309
what the fuck was
I pedaling toward,
1195
01:04:20,344 --> 01:04:22,813
my optometry practice where
all the assistants hate me?
1196
01:04:22,847 --> 01:04:24,648
My wife who also hates me.
1197
01:04:24,681 --> 01:04:27,150
My kids who should be
way too young to hate me,
1198
01:04:27,184 --> 01:04:31,655
but I see it in their little
antichrist eyes, the fuckers.
1199
01:04:31,688 --> 01:04:33,992
Then I thought about what
I was pedaling away from,
1200
01:04:34,025 --> 01:04:36,326
the people who've always
been there for me.
1201
01:04:36,360 --> 01:04:39,161
No matter how much of a
pain in the ass I was,
1202
01:04:39,195 --> 01:04:40,731
I love you guys.
1203
01:04:45,036 --> 01:04:49,039
I don't know what's happening,
but I feel really weird.
1204
01:04:50,539 --> 01:04:52,010
It took Louis.
1205
01:04:52,043 --> 01:04:53,710
- Wait, Louis.
- Holy shit,
1206
01:04:53,744 --> 01:04:55,211
that was also really weird.
1207
01:04:55,244 --> 01:04:56,179
He's in the barn.
1208
01:04:56,213 --> 01:04:57,213
- Call dibs.
- Okay.
1209
01:05:03,719 --> 01:05:04,856
Please stop.
1210
01:05:04,889 --> 01:05:06,523
Louis, are you okay?
1211
01:05:06,556 --> 01:05:08,358
I'll just let the
visual speak for itself.
1212
01:05:15,565 --> 01:05:18,702
If I can't shoot him around
you, I'll shoot through you.
1213
01:05:18,735 --> 01:05:19,702
Stop!
1214
01:05:19,735 --> 01:05:21,237
What are you fuckin' doing?
1215
01:05:21,271 --> 01:05:22,239
You're not killin' my friend.
1216
01:05:22,271 --> 01:05:24,041
Aw thanks, Bri.
1217
01:05:24,074 --> 01:05:25,943
- You got it, buddy.
- Fuck all y'all!
1218
01:05:33,583 --> 01:05:36,585
This is why I say I
usually work alone.
1219
01:05:38,588 --> 01:05:42,259
The fucker's behind
me, ain't it?
1220
01:05:54,938 --> 01:05:55,938
No!
1221
01:06:16,960 --> 01:06:18,295
It's incredible.
1222
01:06:23,632 --> 01:06:24,634
It's gonna activate.
1223
01:06:24,668 --> 01:06:26,436
It's gonna activate!
1224
01:06:30,173 --> 01:06:31,173
Oh shit.
1225
01:06:35,813 --> 01:06:38,648
Fork me.
1226
01:06:38,681 --> 01:06:42,987
Alex!
1227
01:06:43,019 --> 01:06:45,123
Jess, shoot him!
1228
01:06:48,657 --> 01:06:49,827
Eat my ass.
1229
01:06:57,501 --> 01:06:58,534
Eat my ass.
1230
01:07:28,364 --> 01:07:29,867
Finish him!
1231
01:07:29,900 --> 01:07:33,670
God!
1232
01:07:41,710 --> 01:07:42,711
We did it.
1233
01:07:44,081 --> 01:07:45,347
We did it?
1234
01:07:45,382 --> 01:07:47,050
What, I don't get
credit for this?
1235
01:07:48,552 --> 01:07:50,387
Oh, that's messed up.
1236
01:07:51,755 --> 01:07:53,356
I sabotage everything
good in my life
1237
01:07:53,389 --> 01:07:55,025
'cause I'm terrified of failure.
1238
01:07:55,059 --> 01:07:57,027
I've been doin' it for
years in my career,
1239
01:07:57,061 --> 01:07:58,061
even longer with you.
1240
01:07:59,230 --> 01:08:00,373
I purposely date
guys I know won't last
1241
01:08:00,396 --> 01:08:02,699
so I don't have to be
vulnerable with anyone.
1242
01:08:02,731 --> 01:08:05,202
Guess we're a perfect
pair of fuck ups.
1243
01:08:05,235 --> 01:08:06,735
Do two wrongs make a right?
1244
01:08:07,737 --> 01:08:09,539
Well only one way to find out.
1245
01:08:15,411 --> 01:08:19,082
Some damn fine work, kids.
1246
01:08:24,287 --> 01:08:29,292
Looks like I won't be around
to collect my payment, but
1247
01:08:32,128 --> 01:08:34,097
tell him you're with me.
1248
01:08:34,131 --> 01:08:35,131
He'll set you up.
1249
01:08:36,766 --> 01:08:38,734
You work for Big Oil?
1250
01:08:38,769 --> 01:08:41,104
Told you I wasn't
government, you dumb ass.
1251
01:08:41,137 --> 01:08:44,108
Why would an oil company
hire you to hunt down an alien?
1252
01:08:45,141 --> 01:08:47,110
That alien machine
you just shut down.
1253
01:08:50,113 --> 01:08:51,113
It wasn't a bomb.
1254
01:08:52,115 --> 01:08:55,086
So what, could it
open up a black hole,
1255
01:08:55,118 --> 01:08:56,820
expand matter, poison the air?
1256
01:08:59,122 --> 01:09:01,292
It's a carbon dioxide extractor.
1257
01:09:02,492 --> 01:09:04,493
Sucks CO2 outta the atmosphere.
1258
01:09:07,497 --> 01:09:09,498
That little alien device
1259
01:09:10,634 --> 01:09:12,636
is meant to turn the
tide on climate change.
1260
01:09:14,137 --> 01:09:15,604
No, that doesn't make any sense.
1261
01:09:15,639 --> 01:09:17,274
Big Oil would want
this thing activated
1262
01:09:17,307 --> 01:09:19,643
so they could keep
goin' business as usual.
1263
01:09:19,676 --> 01:09:21,645
Of course.
1264
01:09:24,314 --> 01:09:27,150
Think about how much
money can be made
1265
01:09:28,484 --> 01:09:30,487
if you hold the world hostage.
1266
01:09:31,822 --> 01:09:33,657
Once they dissect that thing,
1267
01:09:35,158 --> 01:09:39,997
they can create their own and
profit like motherfuckers.
1268
01:09:42,832 --> 01:09:43,832
You used us
1269
01:09:44,667 --> 01:09:47,837
like pawns in a corporate game.
1270
01:09:49,506 --> 01:09:50,673
Don't be so dramatic.
1271
01:09:53,210 --> 01:09:54,845
Corporations are people too.
1272
01:09:56,346 --> 01:09:57,346
Big Oil
1273
01:09:59,350 --> 01:10:00,350
ain't so bad.
1274
01:10:09,859 --> 01:10:11,194
Maybe she was right.
1275
01:10:13,029 --> 01:10:14,698
We've killed a
great humanitarian.
1276
01:10:16,199 --> 01:10:18,202
Well at least we
still have some beers.
1277
01:10:20,371 --> 01:10:23,539
Well happy birthday, man.
1278
01:10:28,878 --> 01:10:32,382
Light fuckin' beer.
1279
01:10:33,716 --> 01:10:34,716
Of course.
1280
01:10:39,222 --> 01:10:40,222
Fuck.
1281
01:13:51,114 --> 01:13:52,715
47 Baker, take three.
1282
01:13:52,748 --> 01:13:54,716
So we're already landed, right?
1283
01:13:54,752 --> 01:13:55,886
Yeah.
1284
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:57,720
My nay-nays feel weird.
1285
01:14:00,291 --> 01:14:01,425
I mean I don't drink.
1286
01:14:01,457 --> 01:14:03,226
But when I drink, I drink.
1287
01:14:03,260 --> 01:14:04,895
No, we're high up.
1288
01:14:04,929 --> 01:14:05,728
We're pretty high.
1289
01:14:05,762 --> 01:14:06,896
I can tell.
1290
01:14:06,930 --> 01:14:09,099
Less oxygen.
1291
01:14:09,132 --> 01:14:11,769
Whoa.
1292
01:14:14,604 --> 01:14:16,573
I voted for Trump.
1293
01:14:16,606 --> 01:14:20,277
I like to masturbate with
my lab coat on.
1294
01:14:21,979 --> 01:14:26,951
Maggie hates postpartum
sex, but I like it.
1295
01:14:28,284 --> 01:14:30,119
- Sorry.
- Speakin' of farts,
1296
01:14:30,154 --> 01:14:31,788
I pood my pants like.
1297
01:14:35,125 --> 01:14:38,761
I had a pain in my balls and
I thought it was ball cancer.
1298
01:14:38,796 --> 01:14:40,463
It was just pain
1299
01:14:42,632 --> 01:14:45,168
in my balls.
1300
01:14:46,470 --> 01:14:49,273
You can see like the
burn marks and stuff.
1301
01:14:49,305 --> 01:14:50,440
Burn marks.
1302
01:14:50,474 --> 01:14:51,274
Yeah.
1303
01:14:51,307 --> 01:14:52,443
I don't know, man.
1304
01:14:52,475 --> 01:14:54,645
I think it's like
splittin' hairs.
1305
01:14:54,677 --> 01:14:56,145
- Which one?
- Both equal.
1306
01:14:56,180 --> 01:14:57,448
I don't...
1307
01:14:57,480 --> 01:14:58,314
No, one's better than the other.
1308
01:14:58,349 --> 01:14:59,617
Don't show them to me again.
1309
01:14:59,649 --> 01:15:01,284
You want me to take
a pic of your dick?
1310
01:15:01,318 --> 01:15:02,953
The selfies are kinda tough.
1311
01:15:02,987 --> 01:15:03,787
Nah, it's okay.
1312
01:15:03,820 --> 01:15:04,787
I think I can manage.
1313
01:15:04,822 --> 01:15:05,956
- Okay.
- Yeah.
1314
01:15:05,989 --> 01:15:07,132
Life or death, we're
leaving right now.
1315
01:15:07,157 --> 01:15:10,461
C'mon!
1316
01:15:10,493 --> 01:15:11,494
Ow.
1317
01:15:20,337 --> 01:15:21,337
I farted.
1318
01:15:24,675 --> 01:15:25,675
Dingleberry!
1319
01:15:27,511 --> 01:15:28,679
Fuckin' dicks!
1320
01:15:31,347 --> 01:15:33,650
Babadook?
1321
01:15:33,684 --> 01:15:34,684
Fully erect.
1322
01:15:38,521 --> 01:15:39,521
The Schwinns!
1323
01:15:41,057 --> 01:15:42,493
- Our old bikes?
- Yeah.
1324
01:15:42,525 --> 01:15:44,494
They should still
be in the barn.
1325
01:15:47,698 --> 01:15:49,533
Teleport!
1326
01:15:55,872 --> 01:15:58,708
- She's in the barn?
- Who is that?
1327
01:15:59,710 --> 01:16:01,377
She's in the barn.
1328
01:16:02,880 --> 01:16:04,180
Can you swim?
1329
01:16:04,213 --> 01:16:07,518
No, I'm black.
1330
01:16:10,720 --> 01:16:11,521
I'm fallin' off.
1331
01:16:11,555 --> 01:16:13,690
Ooh!
1332
01:16:13,724 --> 01:16:16,025
Yes?
1333
01:16:16,060 --> 01:16:17,194
Like push your tongue.
1334
01:16:17,226 --> 01:16:19,029
It'll help you to
just push you tongue.
1335
01:16:30,239 --> 01:16:31,239
One for the alien.
1336
01:16:31,908 --> 01:16:33,077
Happy birthday, man.
1337
01:16:38,414 --> 01:16:39,416
Oh, fuck!
1338
01:16:39,449 --> 01:16:41,217
Welcome to my place.
1339
01:16:41,251 --> 01:16:44,054
Got my entourage,
got my lights goin'.
1340
01:16:44,087 --> 01:16:45,722
You see my egg in the back.
1341
01:16:45,756 --> 01:16:47,123
You know I'm lit.
1342
01:16:48,257 --> 01:16:50,060
Don't mind the blood,
that's somethin'.
1343
01:16:50,094 --> 01:16:51,729
We're not gonna talk about that.
1344
01:16:51,762 --> 01:16:54,064
There's my sound guy.
1345
01:16:54,097 --> 01:16:57,600
You know I'm dope if I got
my own sound guy, right?
1346
01:16:59,750 --> 01:17:01,670
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