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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:01,711 Come on, Emily. Time to go. 2 00:00:01,736 --> 00:00:04,131 Oh, my God. It's 7:05! 3 00:00:04,156 --> 00:00:06,468 How is it so early and we're already so late? 4 00:00:07,336 --> 00:00:08,484 Phone. Where's my phone? 5 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,946 - Where's my phone? - Babe, I'm sorry. 6 00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:12,136 I can't pretend to care where your phone is right now. 7 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:15,718 - Hon, call it, please. - Okay. 8 00:00:16,248 --> 00:00:17,429 Hey, where's my phone? 9 00:00:17,454 --> 00:00:18,920 Jo? Jo, where's my phone? 10 00:00:18,945 --> 00:00:20,507 - Really, babe? - I need it! 11 00:00:20,532 --> 00:00:22,108 I need... Mom, Mom. 12 00:00:22,133 --> 00:00:23,460 Could you call my phone, please? 13 00:00:23,485 --> 00:00:24,711 Yeah. It's ringing. 14 00:00:24,735 --> 00:00:26,757 Shut up! Everyone shut up! 15 00:00:28,757 --> 00:00:31,210 Oop. Got it. 16 00:00:31,235 --> 00:00:32,937 - Call mine. - Yeah. 17 00:00:33,699 --> 00:00:35,726 Wa-ah! Ooh! 18 00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:39,257 Good morning. 19 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:43,671 Mom, could you at least help us get Emily's shoes on, please? 20 00:00:43,696 --> 00:00:45,257 Yeah, I-I-I would love to, but... 21 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:49,437 I'm very busy. 22 00:00:49,462 --> 00:00:50,944 Busy being disgusting or...? 23 00:00:50,969 --> 00:00:52,351 No! 24 00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:55,144 No, I'm harvesting my saliva. 25 00:00:56,569 --> 00:00:59,890 I'm doing it for an Ancestry DNA kit. 26 00:00:59,915 --> 00:01:02,898 They take three test tubes of spit 27 00:01:02,923 --> 00:01:06,429 and weave together the tapestry of your heritage. 28 00:01:06,537 --> 00:01:07,945 Weave the what? 29 00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:09,648 Bill, get the lunches, please. 30 00:01:09,673 --> 00:01:10,828 Emily, put your shoes on. 31 00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,562 - Why? - Because we have to go to school. 32 00:01:12,587 --> 00:01:14,132 I don't want to go to school! 33 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:16,796 I don't want to do anything I'm doing, so... 34 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:19,906 Fine, if you don't want to put on your shoes, 35 00:01:19,930 --> 00:01:21,459 Mommy will just put them on for you. 36 00:01:23,976 --> 00:01:25,968 I'm not even touching you. 37 00:01:26,792 --> 00:01:28,335 Carpool's here! 38 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,227 It is way too early for that. 39 00:01:30,252 --> 00:01:32,625 Early? It's 7:09. 40 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:35,414 I've already taken 30,000 steps and read the Bible. 41 00:01:36,917 --> 00:01:39,164 And I fixed your mailbox on the way in. 42 00:01:39,189 --> 00:01:41,257 I was gonna get to that this weekend. 43 00:01:41,282 --> 00:01:43,312 Yeah, well, it was on my "to-do for you list." 44 00:01:43,743 --> 00:01:45,734 And I know you don't respect breakfast, 45 00:01:45,759 --> 00:01:47,906 so I brought over some organic granola. 46 00:01:48,097 --> 00:01:49,234 Thank you. 47 00:01:49,259 --> 00:01:50,959 Sometimes you're a nice brother. 48 00:01:50,984 --> 00:01:52,492 It's for Sandy. 49 00:01:54,036 --> 00:01:55,539 Thank you, Chuy. 50 00:01:55,564 --> 00:01:56,859 I'm sure I'll enjoy it 51 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:59,218 as soon as I replenish my saliva. 52 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,539 Mm. 53 00:02:01,564 --> 00:02:03,382 Chuy, you are an inspiration. 54 00:02:03,407 --> 00:02:04,992 Honestly, I don't know why these two 55 00:02:05,017 --> 00:02:06,742 can't get out the door in the morning. 56 00:02:06,767 --> 00:02:09,765 Well, behind every man is a great woman just doing it all. 57 00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:11,623 You know, my wife, Brie. 58 00:02:11,648 --> 00:02:12,835 Hey, Bill? 59 00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:14,617 It's too bad Jo can't do it all. 60 00:02:14,642 --> 00:02:16,203 Right, Bill? 61 00:02:17,217 --> 00:02:19,078 I'm gonna go get my bag. 62 00:02:19,599 --> 00:02:22,101 Oh, Bill, Bill, can you get the check for the day care? 63 00:02:22,126 --> 00:02:23,692 Wait, what did you just say? 64 00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:25,016 The check for the... 65 00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:26,203 Day care? 66 00:02:26,228 --> 00:02:28,875 My beautiful goddaughter's in day care? 67 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:31,390 Exactly! 68 00:02:32,049 --> 00:02:34,296 This child is a genius. 69 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,125 She needs to be in preschool. 70 00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,687 Well, good reason she's not. 71 00:02:38,712 --> 00:02:40,007 We forgot to apply. 72 00:02:41,356 --> 00:02:42,555 You forgot? 73 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:44,392 Well, you know how it is with your second kid... 74 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:45,849 Sort of forget you have them? 75 00:02:47,285 --> 00:02:50,664 Alright, so, Lulu's just gonna rot for a year 76 00:02:50,689 --> 00:02:52,093 with a bunch of dum-dum babies? 77 00:02:52,118 --> 00:02:53,517 Hey, hey! 78 00:02:53,542 --> 00:02:55,257 Some of them are toddlers. 79 00:02:55,282 --> 00:02:57,750 Okay, I will fix this. 80 00:02:57,775 --> 00:02:59,486 I'll put in a word with Rainbow Beginnings. 81 00:02:59,511 --> 00:03:02,226 It's where my kids went, and they're perfect. 82 00:03:02,251 --> 00:03:03,921 These kids aren't. 83 00:03:04,353 --> 00:03:07,234 Yeah, thanks, Chuy, but we can take care of our own kids. 84 00:03:07,259 --> 00:03:08,859 Let's go. Bill, get the stroller. 85 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,016 Okay. 86 00:03:30,907 --> 00:03:34,750 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 87 00:03:46,844 --> 00:03:47,987 Oh, my God. 88 00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:49,511 It's 7:05. 89 00:03:49,781 --> 00:03:52,367 How is it so early and feels so late? 90 00:03:53,117 --> 00:03:56,164 So, is there just always traffic now? 91 00:03:56,189 --> 00:03:57,388 Is that it? 92 00:03:57,757 --> 00:03:59,124 Let's homeschool the kids. 93 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,757 Because of traffic? 94 00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:04,726 Maybe. 95 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,117 What's for dinner? 96 00:04:08,142 --> 00:04:10,828 Why does there have to be dinner every night? 97 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,747 Do you think there's any chance in the world 98 00:04:14,772 --> 00:04:16,857 your mom made dinner for us? 99 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,773 I just had the most wonderful dinner. 100 00:04:20,654 --> 00:04:23,433 I'm so glad I took that cooking-for-one class. 101 00:04:23,458 --> 00:04:25,224 Oh, yum! 102 00:04:27,631 --> 00:04:29,965 We can't keep going across town every day 103 00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:32,076 for the next three years. 104 00:04:32,101 --> 00:04:34,323 Maybe you should take Chuy up on his advice. 105 00:04:34,348 --> 00:04:37,213 I mean, I looked at the website for Rainbow Beginnings, 106 00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:39,171 and it looks like a terrific preschool. 107 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,497 And it's a block away from Emily's school. 108 00:04:45,603 --> 00:04:47,036 It is? 109 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,682 Anyway, I'm dying to get my test results back 110 00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:50,982 from the DNA thing. 111 00:04:51,007 --> 00:04:54,453 I know we're Irish, but this is an Italian nose. 112 00:04:56,118 --> 00:04:58,195 Somebody had an affair. 113 00:04:58,749 --> 00:05:01,093 As... urgent as that is, 114 00:05:01,118 --> 00:05:04,039 babe, how did we not know that Rainbow Beginnings is so close? 115 00:05:04,530 --> 00:05:05,779 We got to do this. 116 00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:08,357 I mean, it's one drop-off. 117 00:05:09,374 --> 00:05:10,992 That's the dream. 118 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,931 Do we... dare to dream? 119 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,476 I had penne for dinner. 120 00:05:20,063 --> 00:05:21,396 Oh, fun fact! 121 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:23,449 "Penne" means "penis"! 122 00:05:24,369 --> 00:05:25,412 Who knew?! 123 00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:28,487 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 124 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,056 Sweetheart, with one drop-off, 125 00:05:30,081 --> 00:05:31,561 I could actually get to work on time. 126 00:05:31,586 --> 00:05:33,532 You know, they never promote me 'cause I always show up sweaty, 127 00:05:33,556 --> 00:05:35,992 and, you know... they never promote the sweaty guy. 128 00:05:37,767 --> 00:05:41,154 Yes, but Lulu loves it where she is. 129 00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,389 I mean, she's made friends. 130 00:05:42,414 --> 00:05:44,515 True, true. Pulling her out right now would be traumatic. 131 00:05:44,539 --> 00:05:45,928 You're right. 132 00:05:46,164 --> 00:05:48,683 Eh. We never get to see our friends. Why should she? 133 00:05:48,708 --> 00:05:49,940 Let's do it. 134 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,734 I think you're making a wonderful decision. 135 00:05:54,158 --> 00:05:56,271 Well, the fact that you're on board makes me hate it, 136 00:05:56,296 --> 00:05:58,320 - but we're still gonna do it. - We're gonna do it. 137 00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:05,624 Wow. Ms. Molina, this place is gorgeous. 138 00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:07,959 The little desks and the little chairs. 139 00:06:07,984 --> 00:06:10,334 It's like a little school. 140 00:06:10,359 --> 00:06:13,570 It is. It is a preschool. 141 00:06:14,691 --> 00:06:16,818 That is, without a doubt, 142 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,025 the finest sandbox I have ever seen. 143 00:06:19,050 --> 00:06:20,116 Thank you. 144 00:06:20,141 --> 00:06:23,075 And, of course, we take safety very seriously. 145 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,045 Obviously, this is a nut-free zone. 146 00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:26,535 Oh, well, that might be a problem 147 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,153 because Lulu is a bit of a nut. 148 00:06:31,242 --> 00:06:33,804 Nuts can kill some of our students. 149 00:06:34,484 --> 00:06:36,125 Yeah, Jo, come on. 150 00:06:36,609 --> 00:06:38,080 Excuse me. 151 00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:42,002 So, I hope... you know isn't intimidated. 152 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,938 This is a big step. I know. 153 00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:45,494 I know. It's all kind of hitting me, you know? 154 00:06:45,518 --> 00:06:47,333 She's not a baby anymore, and, uh, 155 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:49,831 we're not... not having any more babies. 156 00:06:49,856 --> 00:06:52,138 - Dear God, no. - No. That's it. 157 00:06:52,163 --> 00:06:54,774 It's like... no more babies. 158 00:06:54,799 --> 00:06:56,182 I love babies. 159 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,877 Ooh. Sorry. 160 00:07:01,626 --> 00:07:03,949 Well, you're in the system now, Lulu. 161 00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,252 It's over. Good luck. 162 00:07:09,749 --> 00:07:14,298 Lulu... I know this place is big and scary, 163 00:07:14,323 --> 00:07:15,337 but you know what? 164 00:07:15,362 --> 00:07:17,553 In a few days, you're gonna make some friends and... 165 00:07:17,578 --> 00:07:18,948 Bye! 166 00:07:22,726 --> 00:07:24,549 That bitch. 167 00:07:26,471 --> 00:07:29,573 Doesn't she know how emotionally fragile we are right now? 168 00:07:31,502 --> 00:07:32,845 So, now what? 169 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:37,219 Well, now we walk Emily next door to her school, 170 00:07:37,244 --> 00:07:38,928 and we have 45 minutes until work starts, 171 00:07:38,953 --> 00:07:40,686 so maybe we have a... 172 00:07:41,902 --> 00:07:44,446 Car party! 173 00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:49,332 I have been staring at my phone 174 00:07:49,357 --> 00:07:52,388 for eight solid minutes without anyone interrupting. 175 00:07:52,780 --> 00:07:55,099 Hey, did you know that we had a new President? 176 00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:58,662 Reaction... is real mixed. 177 00:08:00,298 --> 00:08:03,949 I cannot wait to waste this time every day! 178 00:08:03,974 --> 00:08:06,135 I'm not gonna do anything responsible. 179 00:08:07,369 --> 00:08:09,739 Uhp! Score. Half-eaten baggie of Goldfish. 180 00:08:09,764 --> 00:08:10,997 Ooh, gimme! 181 00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:13,740 Ohh! 182 00:08:13,765 --> 00:08:15,168 - Mm. Here, catch. - Oh. 183 00:08:15,193 --> 00:08:16,701 There we go. 184 00:08:17,552 --> 00:08:19,615 This is our best date ever. 185 00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:21,727 Oh, God. That's sad. 186 00:08:21,752 --> 00:08:23,490 No, this is amazing. 187 00:08:26,857 --> 00:08:29,185 Oh. It's the preschool. 188 00:08:29,414 --> 00:08:30,795 Hello? 189 00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:34,339 Okay. 190 00:08:35,464 --> 00:08:37,716 - Okay. Shh! - What's happening? 191 00:08:38,098 --> 00:08:39,762 Okay, thank you. We will be right in. 192 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,270 - Thank you. - What happened? 193 00:08:41,295 --> 00:08:44,662 Lulu bit Casper. 194 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:50,022 So... 195 00:08:50,193 --> 00:08:53,123 Casper is a child? 196 00:08:53,817 --> 00:08:57,510 Someone chose to name their child... Casper? 197 00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,595 Guessing you've heard all 198 00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:01,590 - the "friendly ghost" jokes... - I've heard them. 199 00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:03,510 I mean, they're kids. 200 00:09:03,535 --> 00:09:05,852 Biting's a thing that happens, right? 201 00:09:05,877 --> 00:09:07,740 It's not that big a deal. 202 00:09:07,765 --> 00:09:09,823 Mommy! 203 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:11,698 Oh, my God! 204 00:09:12,436 --> 00:09:14,914 We're also learning about cherries. 205 00:09:15,134 --> 00:09:17,680 - Oh. - Okay. 206 00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:26,840 Oh, good. You're home. 207 00:09:26,865 --> 00:09:29,088 Doesn't this look exactly like me? 208 00:09:32,900 --> 00:09:34,463 Ohh. 209 00:09:35,706 --> 00:09:38,474 Hitting the wine a little early tonight, huh? 210 00:09:38,975 --> 00:09:41,357 I'm telling you, we're Italian. 211 00:09:41,382 --> 00:09:44,050 That explains why I love pasta. 212 00:09:45,192 --> 00:09:48,193 Definitely explains why I love penne. 213 00:09:51,546 --> 00:09:53,978 Because I told you last night that "penne" means... 214 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,568 - Yeah, yeah, we got it! - Would you stop talking, please? 215 00:09:57,187 --> 00:09:58,749 Penis. 216 00:10:00,179 --> 00:10:02,395 How was Lulu's first day? 217 00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:03,420 Oh, it was amazing. 218 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:05,045 - It was really, really great. - So good! 219 00:10:06,553 --> 00:10:08,295 We're not gonna tell her about the biting, right? 220 00:10:08,319 --> 00:10:10,310 Oh, never. Her or Chuy. 221 00:10:10,335 --> 00:10:11,996 Oh, my God! 222 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,075 Hopefully, that just means we're related to Pacino or something. 223 00:10:15,888 --> 00:10:18,269 I just found this in Lulu's bag. 224 00:10:18,396 --> 00:10:21,927 It says she's a-a... a biter? 225 00:10:22,130 --> 00:10:24,031 "Incident report"? 226 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,404 Well, the school already told us. 227 00:10:25,429 --> 00:10:27,091 They also have to write her up? 228 00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:29,349 This thing is eight pages long! 229 00:10:29,374 --> 00:10:31,707 There's recommended reading? 230 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,591 How did we end up with homework? 231 00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,989 They never did this kind of thing at Emily's preschool. 232 00:10:37,014 --> 00:10:38,373 Yeah, the only time they ever called us 233 00:10:38,397 --> 00:10:39,888 was when our check bounced. 234 00:10:39,913 --> 00:10:43,388 The pictures from the security cameras are very disturbing. 235 00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:46,080 Lulu looks up at the camera and laughs. 236 00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,739 I think she bit Casper for a thrill. 237 00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,622 Mom, kids bite, okay? It's fine. 238 00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:56,408 Well, you did have that "rubbing yourself against blocks" 239 00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:58,080 incident in the first grade. 240 00:10:58,105 --> 00:10:59,455 Mom! 241 00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:02,161 What? 242 00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,331 No, I-I... I was... 243 00:11:05,808 --> 00:11:08,705 cleaning them on my pants. 244 00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:13,806 You know, your dad was a biter. 245 00:11:13,831 --> 00:11:15,916 Not that I didn't enjoy it from time to time... 246 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,653 - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! 247 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,924 A biter? A biter?! 248 00:11:19,949 --> 00:11:21,015 How do you know? 249 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,306 I'm on the board. I get every incident report. 250 00:11:23,331 --> 00:11:24,595 Why? 251 00:11:25,198 --> 00:11:27,220 This needs to be handled. 252 00:11:27,378 --> 00:11:28,642 Okay. 253 00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,891 Okay, uh... Lulu doesn't have our last name. 254 00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:32,649 She has Bill's last name, so that's good. 255 00:11:32,674 --> 00:11:35,279 Um, I can call in some favors. 256 00:11:35,304 --> 00:11:37,337 We can steal the footage. 257 00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:39,384 And we need to go on the attack. 258 00:11:39,988 --> 00:11:42,111 We are gonna destroy Casper. 259 00:11:43,111 --> 00:11:45,455 I was thinking exactly the same thing. 260 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,447 Oh, you are as wise as you are beautiful. 261 00:11:47,472 --> 00:11:49,017 Oh, Chuy. 262 00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:51,869 Can we have a snack? 263 00:11:51,894 --> 00:11:52,894 Okay. 264 00:11:52,919 --> 00:11:55,963 Could you two give us a sec so we could talk to Lulu? 265 00:11:57,479 --> 00:12:00,142 Or... just stay right there. Whatever. 266 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,140 Hey, Lulu? 267 00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:05,439 Today you did something that was... 268 00:12:05,464 --> 00:12:07,064 not okay. 269 00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:11,595 I don't think that really sunk in. 270 00:12:11,763 --> 00:12:13,429 Mom, please? 271 00:12:13,454 --> 00:12:17,799 Lulu, you bit Casper, and that's a no-no. 272 00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:21,076 Okay? We don't bite, okay? 273 00:12:21,777 --> 00:12:22,842 Look. 274 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:23,920 Rrrrnh! 275 00:12:23,945 --> 00:12:25,496 No. 276 00:12:25,521 --> 00:12:27,147 Rrrrnh! 277 00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:28,944 That's a no. 278 00:12:29,528 --> 00:12:30,803 Blapo do. 279 00:12:30,828 --> 00:12:33,576 "Blapo do" means "okay." 280 00:12:33,929 --> 00:12:36,030 Blah-bleep dookey do. 281 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,967 Blah-bleep dookey do. 282 00:12:37,992 --> 00:12:39,748 She's got it. 283 00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:42,791 Bah-bleep do-do-do. 284 00:12:43,973 --> 00:12:45,655 - What... - What does that mean? 285 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:47,546 It's a sick burn. 286 00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,276 So, that's handled. 287 00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:02,717 Hey, Ms. Molina. 288 00:13:02,742 --> 00:13:04,945 Thank you so much for the incident report. 289 00:13:04,970 --> 00:13:07,405 We did all the recommended reading. 290 00:13:07,430 --> 00:13:09,453 Supes interesting. 291 00:13:09,937 --> 00:13:11,795 I actually tapped out around 2:00 a.m., 292 00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:15,225 but I get the gist... Biting bad. 293 00:13:15,397 --> 00:13:16,419 Great. 294 00:13:16,444 --> 00:13:18,897 And obviously, Lulu is new. 295 00:13:18,922 --> 00:13:20,858 It's normal to have bumps in the road. 296 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:22,858 Thank you so much for understanding. 297 00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:25,356 Just let us know if there's anything else you need from us. 298 00:13:25,381 --> 00:13:27,014 - Alright. - Wait. 299 00:13:27,282 --> 00:13:28,982 Where are you going? 300 00:13:29,178 --> 00:13:30,787 - To work. - To work. 301 00:13:30,812 --> 00:13:32,378 To stop biting behavior, 302 00:13:32,403 --> 00:13:34,798 you need to catch it in action and redirect it. 303 00:13:35,718 --> 00:13:36,951 Well, good luck catching it. 304 00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,287 And redirecting it. 305 00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:42,247 And the parents need to do the observing and redirecting 306 00:13:42,272 --> 00:13:44,239 for it to be most effective. 307 00:13:44,613 --> 00:13:46,446 This was all in the recommended reading. 308 00:13:46,471 --> 00:13:48,811 - It was? - Yeah, Bill. 309 00:13:49,756 --> 00:13:51,671 Let me get this straight... Instead of going to work, 310 00:13:51,695 --> 00:13:54,918 you want us to... stay here and watch our kid? 311 00:13:54,943 --> 00:13:58,506 At the place we thought we were paying to watch our kid? 312 00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:00,547 Thank you! 313 00:14:10,932 --> 00:14:13,092 Hey. How'd the first shift go? 314 00:14:13,117 --> 00:14:15,287 It was the world's most boring stakeout. 315 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:17,272 Four hours of absolutely nothing. 316 00:14:17,297 --> 00:14:19,451 Although, a good portion of that was a nap. 317 00:14:19,476 --> 00:14:21,709 Oh, so, the kids napped already? 318 00:14:22,043 --> 00:14:24,162 Sure. Yeah. Let's say it was them. 319 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,490 Babe, I can't believe this is happening. 320 00:14:26,515 --> 00:14:28,452 You know, Emily was supposed to be the weird one 321 00:14:28,477 --> 00:14:30,709 - and Lulu was easy. - I know. 322 00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:33,358 Now the easy one is the... psycho one 323 00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:34,916 and the weird one is... 324 00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,873 well, still the weird one. 325 00:14:37,532 --> 00:14:39,065 Lulu! 326 00:14:40,058 --> 00:14:41,791 Maybe there's two Lulus? 327 00:14:42,741 --> 00:14:46,037 There has been a second, more disturbing incident. 328 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,303 So, she killed someone or...? 329 00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:58,853 Lulu kissed Casper. 330 00:15:01,096 --> 00:15:03,307 My son was kissed! 331 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,106 Kissed. 332 00:15:06,410 --> 00:15:09,674 These are Casper's parents, Kendra and Casper Senior. 333 00:15:16,143 --> 00:15:19,644 They have asked to have a dialogue. 334 00:15:19,856 --> 00:15:22,414 Last night, Casper was so upset, 335 00:15:22,439 --> 00:15:24,596 he couldn't even eat his vegetables. 336 00:15:25,064 --> 00:15:27,150 Yeah, that sounds unrelated. 337 00:15:28,042 --> 00:15:29,508 He's vegan. 338 00:15:29,533 --> 00:15:31,211 He's literally starving. 339 00:15:31,236 --> 00:15:32,511 Was probably starving before. 340 00:15:32,536 --> 00:15:33,536 Hello. 341 00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,949 They're just children. I mean, come on. 342 00:15:36,974 --> 00:15:39,274 Haven't you guys been through this with your other kids? 343 00:15:39,299 --> 00:15:41,820 Um, we care about the environment, 344 00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:44,419 so Casper is our only child, and... 345 00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:48,300 So... Okay... 346 00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:50,619 So, you guys don't know anything? Okay. 347 00:15:52,167 --> 00:15:53,232 I'm sorry? 348 00:15:53,257 --> 00:15:55,591 Eh, it's alright. No need to apologize. 349 00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:59,838 Look, why don't we just keep Casper and Lulu 350 00:15:59,863 --> 00:16:01,525 away from each other, okay? 351 00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:06,321 Well, not okay, because Lulu is Casper's only friend. 352 00:16:06,914 --> 00:16:08,664 What is happening? 353 00:16:09,797 --> 00:16:11,750 It's the process. 354 00:16:11,775 --> 00:16:14,995 We'd like to engage in regular mediation sessions, 355 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:18,624 - and in a few months, when we finish... - Months? Whoa, whoa. 356 00:16:18,649 --> 00:16:20,993 We can't do that. We work. 357 00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:23,264 Have you heard of that? Work? 358 00:16:23,289 --> 00:16:25,875 Yes. We've heard of that. 359 00:16:26,922 --> 00:16:28,889 Then why don't you have to do it? 360 00:16:28,914 --> 00:16:31,524 My great-grandfather invented straws. 361 00:16:33,787 --> 00:16:35,610 And I married him. 362 00:16:37,848 --> 00:16:40,669 Okay, that does seem like a lot of work, actually. 363 00:16:41,305 --> 00:16:43,620 Let's keep the focus on the children. 364 00:16:43,645 --> 00:16:46,972 Here's what happened... Lulu had Magna-Tiles. 365 00:16:46,997 --> 00:16:49,206 Casper wanted them, he tried to take them, 366 00:16:49,231 --> 00:16:50,558 so she bit him. 367 00:16:50,583 --> 00:16:52,355 She was just protecting herself. 368 00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,895 Au contraire! 369 00:16:56,070 --> 00:17:01,191 Lulu aggressively invaded Casper's space by kissing him. 370 00:17:01,216 --> 00:17:03,614 If she was a CEO, she would be fired. 371 00:17:04,622 --> 00:17:06,128 Maybe not. 372 00:17:06,153 --> 00:17:08,730 No, no, no, no. That's up to the shareholders. 373 00:17:12,846 --> 00:17:15,987 Will you listen to us? We all sound stupid! 374 00:17:16,012 --> 00:17:19,989 Often, the process does not... 375 00:17:20,419 --> 00:17:22,043 sound smart. 376 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:26,769 Look, all kids are psycho, okay? 377 00:17:26,794 --> 00:17:29,112 I took the day off to learn that... 378 00:17:29,137 --> 00:17:32,323 Roberto eats sand, Julia picks her nose, 379 00:17:32,348 --> 00:17:34,942 Felix cleans the blocks on his pants. 380 00:17:38,066 --> 00:17:40,081 You know what? I'm sorry. 381 00:17:40,106 --> 00:17:41,839 I-I should be at work. Okay? 382 00:17:41,864 --> 00:17:43,792 I don't believe we've finished. 383 00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:46,835 Uh, I'm sorry, but all we want from preschool 384 00:17:46,860 --> 00:17:49,097 is to drop our kid off and pick her up. 385 00:17:49,122 --> 00:17:50,959 Right, and we ask, "How was school?" and she says, 386 00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:51,997 "Good," and that's it. 387 00:17:52,022 --> 00:17:53,412 Yeah, and then... And then we're... 388 00:17:53,436 --> 00:17:55,560 We're like, "Oh, come on, something must have happened." 389 00:17:55,584 --> 00:17:57,562 And she's like, "Why do you guys need to know everything? 390 00:17:57,586 --> 00:17:59,146 Get off my back!" You know what I mean? 391 00:17:59,171 --> 00:18:01,083 Yeah, and then... and then she, like, storms up to her room, 392 00:18:01,107 --> 00:18:02,486 and we're like, "What the hell's her problem?" 393 00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:04,342 And then we don't know what to do, so we say something like, 394 00:18:04,366 --> 00:18:06,622 "Hey! No vaping!" 395 00:18:07,891 --> 00:18:09,640 That's it! Okay? 396 00:18:09,665 --> 00:18:12,067 We just want 12 years of that! 397 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,754 Normal stuff! 398 00:18:13,779 --> 00:18:14,779 - Right, normal. - Okay? 399 00:18:14,804 --> 00:18:15,903 - Normal! - You know, just normal. 400 00:18:15,927 --> 00:18:17,204 - Normal! - You know, like a normal life, 401 00:18:17,228 --> 00:18:18,339 - like normal people would... - Normal! 402 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,966 - You know, normal... - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 403 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,997 Can I see you in the time-out tent? 404 00:18:27,213 --> 00:18:29,036 You're in trouble. 405 00:18:35,313 --> 00:18:37,680 Thank. You. For. That. 406 00:18:38,926 --> 00:18:40,159 What? 407 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,296 So, we're not in trouble? 408 00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:45,354 Because that little rat with the mustache 409 00:18:45,379 --> 00:18:46,779 said we were in trouble. 410 00:18:46,804 --> 00:18:49,068 The parents get worse every year. 411 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:51,004 Biting is totally age-appropriate. 412 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:54,007 But these parents get way too involved in their kids' lives. 413 00:18:54,148 --> 00:18:56,539 Ah, well, you never have to worry about that with us. 414 00:18:57,141 --> 00:18:59,045 Get out of here and go to work. 415 00:18:59,070 --> 00:19:01,070 We don't need to talk for the rest of the year. 416 00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:03,140 Really? 417 00:19:03,174 --> 00:19:05,875 Yeah. I like kids. 418 00:19:06,093 --> 00:19:07,954 But I hate parents. 419 00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:09,453 No offense. 420 00:19:09,478 --> 00:19:10,823 Are you kidding? 421 00:19:10,848 --> 00:19:12,812 We hate parents, too! 422 00:19:13,313 --> 00:19:15,678 I was so worried because you're Chuy's sister. 423 00:19:15,703 --> 00:19:16,819 He is... 424 00:19:16,844 --> 00:19:18,367 Oh, yeah, he is. 425 00:19:18,647 --> 00:19:20,899 And I've got nine brothers. 426 00:19:20,924 --> 00:19:22,557 He's the best one. 427 00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,173 He always makes us feel bad 'cause his kids are perfect. 428 00:19:27,198 --> 00:19:28,748 Perfect? Ha. 429 00:19:28,773 --> 00:19:30,533 One of them used to poop in the cubby. 430 00:19:32,265 --> 00:19:35,348 We are gonna be best friends. 431 00:19:35,373 --> 00:19:36,939 Anyway, will you do me a favor 432 00:19:36,964 --> 00:19:39,552 and look really upset when we leave the tent? 433 00:19:39,577 --> 00:19:40,887 Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 434 00:19:40,912 --> 00:19:42,344 I'm a good fake crier. 435 00:19:42,633 --> 00:19:43,965 Fake? 436 00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:45,290 Okay. 437 00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,226 We got reamed. 438 00:19:58,251 --> 00:20:00,789 Yeah, we learned a big lesson today. 439 00:20:02,987 --> 00:20:05,011 We didn't learn a lesson at all. 440 00:20:09,522 --> 00:20:11,131 Well, the biter's down. 441 00:20:12,913 --> 00:20:14,459 What about the weirdo? 442 00:20:14,562 --> 00:20:16,091 She wouldn't brush her teeth, 443 00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:18,264 and then she drew a spider on her face. 444 00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:20,797 Eh, we'll wash it off in the morning. 445 00:20:20,821 --> 00:20:22,147 With a Sharpie. 446 00:20:24,578 --> 00:20:26,084 Does it look cool? 447 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:27,826 Nope. 448 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,756 I have terrible news. 449 00:20:35,226 --> 00:20:36,622 Uh-oh. What happened? 450 00:20:36,647 --> 00:20:38,459 We're not Italian. 451 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,223 We're Dutch! 452 00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,584 I'm-a so sad! 453 00:20:49,693 --> 00:20:50,893 Mom, you're crushing my penne. 454 00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:52,647 Oh! I'm so... 31494

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