All language subtitles for To Tell The Truth 2016 - 5x07_track3_eng

Anthony:
Welcome to "To Tell the Truth,"

where normal people
yank celebrities' chains.

[ Cheers and applause ]

I want an appeal.

You're both liars!

I rest my case.

I'm your host, Anthony Anderson.
[ Screams ]

And tonight's celebrity panel ‐‐

Russell Peters.

How are you?

[ Sour chord plays ]

[ Laughter ]

Michelle Buteau.

I want you to sniff my armpit
and tell me what you think.

[ Laughter ]

Yara Shahidi.

You're supposed to
ask questions, Yara,

not take notes.

This isn't Harvard!

[ Laughter ]

And Jeremy Sisto.

Can you remember
anything embarrassing
during a night of dancing?

Hit in the face
with a very large bra.

Mama!

[ Laughter ]

And the lady who puts the "mom"
in "awkward moments,"

my mama, Doris.

It's time to find out
who's lying...

I'm an original...

...Chippendales...
...dancer.

Anthony: ...and who is sworn
to tell the truth.

Whoo!

It's getting funky in here.

Come on!
What?!

This is "To Tell the Truth."

♪♪

Thank you, baby.

♪♪

Thank you!

You're too kind.
You're too kind.

Alright,
welcome to "To Tell the Truth."

Mama?
Yeah?

Just go ahead and
say something inappropriate now

so we can get the show going.

[Bleep]damn hell.

[ Laughter ]

Ladies and gentlemen,
there you have it.

Panel,
your job throughout the show

is to guess
who is telling the truth.

Mm‐hmm.
Alright!

Let's get things moving
with our first guests.

♪♪

Jeremy: Interesting.

♪♪

Mm.

Gentlemen,
introduce yourselves.

I'm an original
Chippendales dancer.

[ Light laughter ]

I'm an original
Chippendales dancer.

I'm an original
Chippendales dancer.

Anthony: Here is this person's
story in their own words.

[ Dance music plays ]
"Is it getting hot in here,

or was I a stripper?

As one of the original
Chippendales dancers,

I used my bare necessities
to show women a good time.

It's been years since I got paid
to take it off,

but I can still pull off
a move or two.

Turns out you can
teach an old dog nude tricks."

[ Laughter ]
Interesting.

One of these people is
the original Chippendales dancer

and is the only one who has been
sworn to tell the truth.

Dancers, take a seat.

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Yara,
as your television father,

I hate to have to ask you,
but you need to ask something

of these strange white men
who stripped.

I guess
I would have to start with,

did you have
a stretching routine,

and if so,
what is it?

Who are you asking?

All three.

Okay,
we'll start with Number 1.

No, I didn't have
a stretching routine.

Just, you know,
we made sure we flexed

and were ready for the show.

But we were young. Didn't need
to stretch that much.

You need to stretch now.

[ Laughter ]

Number 2?

Uh, worked out every day
and stretch.

Number 3?

Definitely had to stretch.
Yara: Thank you.

Anthony: Alright.

You guys do look familiar.

[ Laughter ]

'Cause I've been to
a lot of bachelorette parties,

but that's
besides the point.

Well,
this is for everybody,

but I would really love
Number 3 to go first.

What was your favorite
dance move

when you were, like,
dipping and doing it?

Full splits.

[ Audience "oohs" ]
Full splits. Wow.

Oh, he like,
"You know, Michelle."
Okay!

He's like,
he can still do it, too.
Okay!

Someone's got Blue Anthem
Blue Cross Blue Shield.

[ Laughter ]

Okay.
Number 2.

Shaking.

Shake ‐‐
Anthony: Shaking what?

The butt.
Anthony: There's a minor here.

Number 2:
Shake the butt.

Okay.

Number 1.
Number 1.

I had
the tassel twirl,

where there was a tassel
on the end of my G‐string,

and I just twirled it
to the beat of the music.

I like that.

Michelle: Okay!
Mama liked that.

Yeah, I got a question for,
I guess, any one of you.

Can you remember
anything embarrassing

that happened
during a night of dancing?

Number 2,
let's start with you.

Cut the G‐string.

Cut the G‐string?

Yeah, they would get a pair
of scissors and just cut it.

Anthony: Okay.

Okay.

Number 3, same question.

Hit in the face
with a very large bra.

I said I was sorry!
Anthony: Mama!

[ Laughter ]

Number 1,
same question.

We wore multiple G‐strings,

and we took them off
one after the other.

And I thought
I still had one left.

Alright.

Hey, do you remember the guy
that started Chippendales?

Yeah.
Russell:
What was his name?

Steve Banerjee.
Russell: Ah, yes.

See, that guy
answered it right away.

I'm taking notes.
Yara, what ‐‐

You're supposed to ask
questions, Yara, not take notes.

This isn't Harvard!

Those are good notes, though.
That's good handwriting.

Thank you!
Wow!

Everyone's asking
great questions.

I'm just observing.
Michelle: Yeah.
I have a question.

Number 2, what was your
favorite song to come out to?

Ooh.
Uh...the song
by the Bee Gees.

Which one?

There's more than one song
by the Bee Gees.
I forgot the name.

The Bee Gees song.
You know, the song.

It was called
"The Song" by the Bee Gees?

Yeah,
"The Song" by the Bee Gees.
Yeah.

That's all you ever say
to the deejay.
Mama Doris:
Ask Number 1, Anthony.

"Play that song
by the Bee Gees."
Number 1.

Number 1,
what was your favorite song?

"Dancing" by the Bee Gees.

Anthony:
Okay. Number 3.
Ooh.

Same. "Dancing."

Come on, Number 3!

Jeremy:
I don't know.

Number 1,
when you first started,

do you know
how much money you made?

$50 a show plus tips.

Okay, did y'all have to put
all your tips together

and split it?

Please don't put
your tips together.

[ Laughter ]

Were waiting for that one,
huh, were you?

I thought this was
a family show!

Hell no.
Okay.

♪♪
And on that note,
we're gonna end this round.

Time's up.

Let's see
who the panel thinks

is the original
Chippendales dancer ‐‐

1, 2, or 3.

Mother,
who do you think it is?

I like Number 1.
See that pretty smile?

And he look like
he has fun

and still having fun,
you know?

[ Cheers and applause ]

Okay!

Audience,
who do you think it is?

[ Audience shouting ]

Okay.

Everybody's saying 1.

Okay.

Yara,
we're gonna start with you.

Well, based on
all the notes that I took,

I have to say the first question
really got me.

You really don't stretch,
Number 1.

That felt
a little weird.

And then you, Number 3,
only stretched,

whereas you stretched and
worked out every day, Number 2.

So I have to
go with Number 2.

Jeremy:
Bold. Bold move.

[ Laughs ]
Okay.

Jeremy, who do you think is
the real Chippendales dancer?

I don't like to go along
with the crowd.

I like to be my own man.

But, Number 1, you know a lot
about Chippendales,

so I'm hoping you actually
worked there.

Go with Number 1.

Number 1.

Russell.

I was sold
on Number 1

when he said
the Steve Banerjee name.

Michelle.

Number 3,
I don't think it's you.

I feel like you go to the YMCA
for swim class, you know,

and that's, like,
the big thing that happens.

Number 2,
how'd you find your way here?

You just seem so confused
and overwhelmed

by the simplest!

And, yes,
I'm with Mama.

Number 1, you've got, like,
a je ne sais quoi.

He got good hips.
Mama Doris: Yeah!

So Number 1, honey.
I'm going with Number 1.

Anthony:
Number 1. Alright.

Number 1 is just
too on the nose for me,

and because of that,
I'm gonna go with Number 3.

Mama Doris: Right.
What?!

Alright, we're locked in.

Will the real
original Chippendales dancer

please stand up?

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]
What?!

What?!

What?!

Jeremy: Darn it.
No way!

That was
my first choice.

Alright, sir.

Please introduce yourself
to our panel.

My name
is Dustin Stevens,

and I'm an original
Chippendales dancer.

Ah! Look, I think we have
a photo of you back in the day.

Ah!
Look at that!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Look at that!

Look at that!

[ Laughs ]
Alright, thank you.

Impostor Number 2,

please introduce yourself
to the panel.

I am Michael Benard.

I'm not a Chippendale,
but I tapped for many years.

Tap dancer.
Alright. Alright.
Michelle: Okay. Okay.

Impostor Number 1,

please introduce yourself
to our panel.

My name is Karl Chaffey,
and I've danced on a few tables,

but never at Chippendales.
Alright.

But you'll dance for my mama
a little bit later.

Okay.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Now it's time to give
the ABC censors a heart attack.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome to the stage
Dustin!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Friendly reminder to you,
Michelle ‐‐ no touching allowed.

[ Mid‐tempo music plays ]

[ Michelle screams ]

[ Laughs ]

♪♪

[ Laughs ]

[ Cheers and applause continue ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Michelle: Oh, no!

♪♪

[ Screams ]

Oh, wow.

♪♪

Alright! Please give it up
for Dustin!

[ Cheers and applause ]

We're gonna take
a quick break

so we can get some singles
to pay his appearance fee.

We'll be right back.

[ Laughs ]
Oh, my God.

Alright. I knew who
it was in the beginning.

I thought it was him.

Oh, I forgot
to throw him some money.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Welcome back to
"To Tell the Truth,"

with my TV daughter
Yara Shahidi.

[ Cheers and applause ]

And my TV son,
Jeremy Sisto.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Let's see how our celebrities
are doing after the first round.

No need to look. They're all
in butt‐naked last place.

Jeremy, Michelle, Russell,
Yara ‐‐ zero points!

Okay.
Alright, alright.

It's time to meet
our next guests.

Oh.
Ooh.

Uh, okay.

[ Chuckles ]

Alright.

Now,
this is interesting.

Please introduce yourselves.

I am a house flipper.

I am a house flipper.

What?

[ New England accent ]
I am a house flipper.

[ Chuckles ] Somebody lying.

[ Laughter ]

Alright, here is this person's
story in their own words.

"Move over, Property Brothers.

There's a new flipper in town.

In case you don't know,

house flipping is buying
a fixer‐upper for cheap,

giving it a makeover,

then reselling the house
for a hefty profit.

I may not be a household name
in the house‐flipping business,

but when it comes to
real estate,

I'm the real deal.

I'm a CEO, an author,

and I've been named to one of
those fancy top‐100 lists.

So, if you're ever in the market
for a home, give me a call.

I have a couple
that will flip your lid."

One of these people
is the real house flipper

and is the only one who has been
sworn to tell the truth.

Please ‐‐ take a seat.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Alright, Jeremy, we both played
detectives on "Law & Order."

Don't let our old job down.
You get to go first.

Number 2,
how old are you?

I am 10 years old.

That's a big deal,
then.

You've become this
really successful house flipper

at this young age.

Have you been on
any talk shows?

Well, I've been on
the "Steve Harvey" show.

Alright.

Anthony: Number 3,
it says you're an author.

What's the name of your book?

"Imperfectly Perfect."

It's about one woman's journey
to financial freedom.

Number 1?

Oh, uh, that's me.
[ Laughs ]

Yeah.

"Unstoppable Me."

And, Number 2,
what's the name of your book?

"25 Businesses That Kids
Can Start for Under $500."

Okay.

Number 2,
I want to know

where you get the money
to buy the house.

My mother is
a real‐estate agent,

and she loaned me the money,

and I paid it back
in less than six months.

You hear that,
Mama?

When you get loaned money,
you pay it back.

[ Laughter ]

That was a gift
from your heart.

[ Laughter ]

Right where
your money is.

Yeah. Alright.

So, Number 2, I take it
you do this with your mom?

So, my mom is my mentor,
and we have contractors,

so they are, I guess you could
call it, the parental guide.

So they'll, like,
if I do something wrong ‐‐

'cause I do do a little bit
of work ‐‐ they'll help me.

Oh,
so you do some things,

meaning you build some things
on the house?
Yeah.

Alright.

Number 1, can you name
three different types of homes?

Well, I am a flipper
in South Florida,

so we have
the Spanish‐style homes,

we have
the Mediterranean homes,

and we have
the ranch‐style homes.

Can you have basements
in your homes in South Florida?

No.
Because...?

Because there's water
right under you.

[ Laughs ]

I knew that.

But you knew it, too!

[ Laughter ]

Anthony:
Number 3, same question.

Colonial, Cape Cod house,
and your standard, um...

duplex.

Number 2, same question.

I do not exactly
know that answer.

Oh. Okay.

Jeremy:
I like that honesty.

Okay, and so, you're from
South Florida.

Number 2 and Number 3,
where are you from?

I am from Maryland.

Number 3, are you from Texas?

[ Laughter ]

Cape Cod.
Hmm.

Russell: Hence why
you knew that answer.

Number 1, when did you
start flipping houses?

Four years ago.

And 2?

Two years ago.

And you?
Seven years ago.

And how many have you done
in those seven years?

34.
That's a very
specific number.

And you?

I've done...six.

Now I'm on my seventh.

This is for everyone.
About how long does it
take to flip a house?

For me, it takes about
three to four months.

Number 2?

For me,
it takes two to three months.

Number 3?
Two to four months.

Number 2, who's your favorite
host of a flipping show?

I don't have one.

Okay.
How about
"Bob the Builder"?

[ Laughter ]
No.

♪♪

Mama Doris:
That was good.

Okay. Well, we're gonna end it
on that.

I am so confused.
Yara: I'm really confused
right now.

I don't know. I thought
I'd be good at this game.

Michelle:
This is so hard.

Let's see who our panel thinks
is telling the truth.

Panelists,
write down your answers ‐‐

1, 2, or 3.

You already
wrote your number down?

I wrote it down, yeah, but I'm
not happy with my decision.

That's okay. Mama?

Number 2.

Audience,
who do you think it is?

[ Audience shouting ]

Oh,
they don't know.

Jeremy:
Seems like 2s and 3s.

Okay, okay.
Got some 1s
over here.

Alright. Jeremy.

Yeah. Am I first?

I mean, it's hard,
but, you know,

Number 2,
you did great.

You answered
a lot of the questions.
Thank you.

And there's a couple things
you didn't know, but, you know,

those are things that maybe
you don't need to know.

I like that book.

I want to get that book
for my kids.

Do you want to set up
a playdate?

Yeah, I'm gonna set up
a playdate later.

Let's go, Number 2.
Come on.

Kids don't lie.

Kids lie all the time!

Yeah.

Kids don't lie.
Okay.

Russell?

Now, I fell
for the bait before.
Uh‐huh.

So it seems too obvious
to be Number 2 to me.

Okay.

And Number 1
had to remind herself

that she was Number 1.

[ Laughter ]

"Oh,
I'm Number 1!"

[ Laughter ]

So I went
with Number 3

'cause I could see her
fixing a bed.

Michelle: Right.

Michelle.
Oh, man.

Who do you think
is our house flipper and why?

Look, I think they're all
beautiful people,

capable of flipping
any house you want to in life.

[ Laughter ]

Well, flip that sign right there
so we can see your number.

Okay.
I went for the bait!

Anthony: Number 2?

[ Applause ]

Jeremy: It's the bait,
isn't it?

I want her to flip my house,
even if you're not a flipper.

Alright. Yara, who do you think
is our house flipper and why?

You've been on
the "Steve Harvey" show,

and that just felt like the
conclusive evidence I needed.

I've been on
the "Steve Harvey" show.

And I really
believe in you.

Okay.

So I have to go with Number 2
'cause it takes a lot

to be a little kid
on the "Steve Harvey" show.

Come on, Number 2.
Michelle: Oh, man.

Come on, Number 2.

Will the real house flipper
please stand up?

Yara: I'm really nervous
right now.

It's Number 1.
Yeah.

No.
That was a good fake.

No. No.

No, think it's...

[ Cheers and applause ]

Yes!
Come on!

Yes! Yes!

Come on!

Come here, baby!
Ah!

How have we not
heard about her?
Yes! Yes!

Too obvious!

[ Anthony laughs ]

Yara: The "Steve Harvey" show
was really it.

That's pretty amazing.

It's a really
random detail.

Okay, please introduce yourself
to our panel.

Tell us
about yourself.

My name
is Alianna Hines.

I am the boss and CEO
of Junior Flips.

Alright!

That is so cool.
Cool.

Alright!

Do we have
a picture up here?

Look at her!

Oh, yes!
Look at that!

Mama Doris: Damn right.
Okay. I see. Alright.
Congratulations, dear.

Thank you.

Alright,
Impostor Number 1,

please introduce yourself
to our panel.

Hi.
I'm Katia Gomez.

I don't flip houses,

but I am the president
of a homes association.

Anthony: Alright.
Ohh!

Impostor Number 3,

please tell us your name
and all about yourself.

My name
is Susan Wolfe.

I am not a house flipper,
but I will stay in your house

and I will pet‐sit
for you.

Mama Doris: Oh, okay.

Michelle: Oh!
Alright.

We're gonna take a little break,
but when we come back,

the impostors keep lying
and the questions keep flying.

Stick around.

I feel good about myself.
You should feel bad
right now.

Russell: I feel duped,
hoodwinked, bamboozled!

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Alright, alright.

♪♪

Welcome back
to "To Tell the Truth,"

the show with some of the nicest
celebrities you'll ever meet...

and Russell Peters.

Son of a...

Let's meet our next guests.

♪♪

It's that one!

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Alright.

Mm‐hmm.

Gentlemen,
please introduce yourselves.

I am
a princess dress designer.

I am
a princess dress designer.

I am
a princess dress designer.

Here is this person's story
in his own words.

"Every woman and little girl

deserves to be treated
like a princess.

While I can't
literally transport you

to a world of fairy godmothers
and magical spells,

my one‐of‐a‐kind
princess dresses

are the next best thing."

[ Regal classical music plays ]

[ Applause ]

‐Okay!
‐Okay! Oh.

Anthony: Alright!

[ Applause continues ]

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Okay! Okay!

Alright!

Alright.

That's cool.
I like that.
I got to get my daughter
one of those.

"But it takes more than
just a little fairy dust

to create my princess dresses,

which sell for
up to $10,000 apiece."

[ Audience murmurs ]

"So, if you're tired
of not looking like

the princess you are,

you don't need
to wish upon a star.

Just give me a call,
and I will make it 'sew.'"
[so]

S‐E‐W.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, my God.
Okay.

One of these gentlemen
is the princess dress designer

and the only one who has been
sworn to tell the truth.

Gentlemen, please take a seat.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Russell,
you're not a princess,

but you are
a bit of a diva.

I am.

So you get to go first.
Alright.

Number 3,
how old are you?

I'm 36.

And when did you start
designing dresses?

Four years ago.

Same for you,
Number 2.

39 years old.

And? When did you start
designing dresses?

Oh, 14 years ago.
Okay.

Which princess do you think
you're most like, Number 1?

That I'm most like?

Michelle: Yes.

Mm, Belle.

Michelle: Why?
I don't know.

Maybe I'm looking for
a Prince Charming.

[ Laughter ]

Okay.

Number 3, what was the first
princess dress you made?

It was a...
Jasmine, I think.

It was a dress?

It was Jasmine,
so it's like the pants.

Mm‐hmm.

So your first princess dress
was actually a princess pant?

[ Laughter ]

It was for my daughter.

She wanted to dress up
as Jasmine,

and she wears pants
rather than a dress.

Jeremy:
All of you tell me, like,

what was your first
professional dress

and for what ‐‐
Let's start with Number 3.

The first professional one was
when I made princess dresses

for, like,
a princess company.

Number 2,
what you got?

It was actually when I did it
for my neighbor's daughter.

She was asking me
to make some dresses,

and I learnt from my mum
and my sister,

so decided to do it.

They just pulled you aside
and said, "Hey..."

Actually,
I was watching TV a lot,

and I used to hear
the sewing machine

in the background, so...

You were 25
at the time?

No, I was a kid,
but that's what inspired me,

and then I basically went in
and learnt more about sewing.

You seem like
you might be the guy,

but that answer
was a little weird.

Number 1?
[ Laughter ]

I started making clothes

for some friends
who were female impersonators,

and it kind of just went
from there.

Michelle: Okay.
Anthony: Mm.

Number 1,
what do you think

is the most wearable material
for princess gowns?

I like lace and silks.

They're easy.
Okay. Number 2,
what about you?

Lace and organza silk.

Russell: Oh,
good old organza.

Yeah.

Number 2,
what colors are you attracted to

when you're making
a princess dress?

Typically blue

because it actually has
a very positive color.

Anthony: Hmm.
Russell: Hmm.

Number 3?!

[ Laughter ]

Um...

probably blue.

Probably blue?
Russell:
Probably, huh?

Okay. Number 1?

I like to look at the skin tone
of the person I'm working with

and then advise them
on what to take.

Good answer.

I have a question.

It says here your dresses
sell for up to $10,000 apiece.

Number 3,
are you at liberty to tell us

who paid $10,000
for a dress?

Brides.

Princess brides?

[ Chuckles ]

I thought it was g‐‐
I thought it was funny.

Thanks.
They didn't.

♪♪

Alright. Time's up.

Let's see
who our panel thinks

is the real
princess dress designer.
Michelle: Oh, come on.

I don't...

Panelists, you need
to write down your answers.

Seems too obvious.
Right?

Oh, this is
a tough one.

1, 2, or 3.

1, 2, or 3.

You got it?
Mother, who do you think it is?

It's either 1 or 3,
I think, Anthony.

But I'm‐a just
go with 1.

Alright. Audience,
who do you think it is?

[ Audience shouting ]

3? Alright.

Russell,
we're gonna start with you.

Well, Number 3 seemed to have
got confused

by dresses and pants,

so that kind of threw me off
a little bit.

[ Laughter ]

Number 2 started making them
14 years ago

and he'd heard sewing
his whole life,

so I don't know what took him
so long.
Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

And Number 1
seems a little too obvious.

Mm‐hmm.
But ‐‐

There's no Number 4,
though,

so I don't know
who you're gonna pick.

Yeah, so I went with obvious
on this one.

Oh, you went with obvious.
Okay.

I went with obvious
on this one.
[ Applause ]

Michelle,
who do you think it is and why?

Number 2 and 3,
you guys are great,

but you did not speak with
the pasión that Number 1 did.

And when them dresses came out,
he, like, lit up a little bit.

He's like,
"Yo, look at that dress!"

[ Laughs ]
Just sayin'.

Yara, who do you think is our
princess dress designer and why?

Number 2, you almost got me
with the "organza,"

'cause I know that
that's a fabric

that people use
for dresses.

But, Number 1, when you made
the comment about the skin tone

being how
you determined the color...
Mama Doris: Yeah. Yeah.

...versus just willy‐nilly
throwing blue everywhere?

I think
it was Number 1.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Anthony: Jeremy?

3 was
the difficult one.

'Cause you seem like you
don't want to be here that much.

[ Laughter ]

Does he not want to be here
'cause he has dresses to make?

So that's
not difficult, then.
So he's got to go home
and make dresses.

That means it's not him!

No, I think that means
it is him.

Okay.
But I'm gonna
go with 2 anyway. 2.

You're gonna go with 2?
Yeah, yeah.

Michelle: Ohh!

[ Applause ]

Will the real princess dress
designer please stand up?

...when we come back
from this commercial break.

We'll see you in a minute.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh!

It's for sure
Number 1.

Jeremy: I don't know.
You guys might be right.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Welcome back to
"To Tell the Truth."

Now, before the break,

our celebrities
locked in their guesses

as they tried to identify the
real princess dress designer.

Russell, Michelle, and Yara
went with Number 1.

Jeremy went with Number 2.

Nobody went with you, Number 3.

[ Laughter ]

It's time to find out
who's been telling the truth.

Will the real princess dress
designer please stand up?

♪♪

Come on, Number 3!

Come on, Number 3!

♪♪

Michelle: What?!

Come on!
What?!

[ Jeremy groans ]

What?! No!
Come on!

No!

No way!

Alright, alright.

$10,000? No!

No.

I am so sorry
for not believing in you.
Absolutely no.

Number 3,
please introduce yourself

to my dumb panel.

[ Laughter ]

I'm Nephi Garcia,

known as "Designer Daddy"
on Instagram.

And I'm
a princess dress designer.

If I had seen that smile
during the show,

I would've known.
Michelle: I know!

There he is,
designing his dresses.

‐Oh!
‐Ooh!

Michelle: Oh!
Anthony: Beautiful.

Alright, ladies and gentlemen,
please give it up

for our princess dress
designer.

[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you.

See you after the show,
my friend.
I was so sure.

As you can see, we've still got
two people with us.

And although neither of them
makes princess clothes,

one of them does have
a fancy nose.

It's time to play
"Before You Go."

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

"Before You Go."

Here is this person's story
in his own words.

"Jonas Salk cured polio.

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin
landed on the moon.

I, too, have dedicated my life

to the scientific advancement
of mankind,

for I am
a professional armpit sniffer."

Mnh.
[ Laughter ]

Yes!
What, now?

"The FDA requires extensive
testing for deodorant products,

and there's no better smeller
in the business than me.

Our test subjects stop using
deodorant for 17 days."

[ Gags ]

[ Audience groans ]

"And it's my job
to smell those pits

and rank them to establish
a baseline sniff grade."

[ Laughs ]

"Call me old‐fashioned,
but I love the smell of money,

and those companies
really pay...

through the nose."

[ Cheers and applause ]
Okay.

One of these people is the real
professional armpit sniffer

and is the only one who has been
sworn to tell the truth.

Michelle,
we're gonna start with you.

Let the questions begin.

Actually, I want you
to sniff my armpit and
tell me what you think.

Yeah!

I want you
to do mine.

[ Laughter, applause ]

You gonna do it, too?

Yeah,
that was my question.

Yes.
Just stick it out.

Lift my arm?
Sure.

I got to see the face
when he's doing it.

I know.
She has had a long day.

[ Laughter ]

I like
that technique.

Yara: Now, could you
describe the qualities
that you just sniffed?

Yeah.
Anthony:
Great question.

Yara, what's the question,
again?

Starting with Number 1,
then Number 2,

what are the qualities
that you sniffed,

and what was the difference
between the pairs of armpits?

The different ‐‐
one definitely smelled

a bit stronger than the other,
absolutely.

Okay, you know what?
I said I had a long day.

[ Laughter ]

But it's good that you recognize
that it had to be you.

[ Audience groans ]
Anthony: Oh! Oh!

Oh!

What?! What?!

[ Laughter ]

Now, Number 2,
ethnically speaking,

I think
you might be my people.

[ Laughter ]

How did your family
react to this job?

Astounded.
Pretty shocked.

[ Laughing ] Astounded?

That ain't
the right answer.

Michelle: So, what happens
when you're sick?

You can't go into work because
you're like, "I can't smell"?

Yeah.
Actually, what is your routine
to take care of your nose?

Starting with Number 1.

There's no specific instructions
to keep your nose clear.

It's just, you've either got
this gift or you haven't.

Is this a gift
or a fetish?

[ Laughs ]
Well...

[ Laughing ] No.

It's definitely a gift.

Yeah, how did you hear
about this gig?

And how did you
get into it?

Starting with Number 2.

I was working for
a pharmaceutical
company at the time,

and I met this guy
in the cafeteria.

We just had
this conversation about

how he was looking for
volunteers to help him,

and that's kind of
how it got started.

So a deodorant company,

they need to know
how bad somebody sme‐‐

How's this work?

[ Laughter ]

So, you design a new product,
you would come along to us,

and there are guidelines

before you can sell any products
on the open market anyway.

And so, because of that,

you have to follow
the FDA protocol,

and then
there's a clinical trial.

So, do you consider yourself
a scientist?

Yes.

You,
Number 2?
Yes.

I still don't understand
this job, how it works,

or what it is.

He smell armpits.
That's it.

If it's funky, he tell his boss,
"He funky."

[ Laughter ]

"That deodorant didn't work."
That's it.

♪♪
Anthony: That's it. We're gonna
end this one right now.

Michelle: Yeah.
It's getting funky in here.

[ Applause ]

Panelists, who do you think is
the professional armpit sniffer?

1 or 2?

Michelle,
we're gonna start with you

since they said you were
the funkiest of the two.

Look, Number 2 really got
in there like it was his job,

so I'm‐a say...

Number 1 just got up
and was like...

Yeah, but ‐‐

But Number 2
really got up in there.

I watched him as he was
sniffing the armpit.

His whole body
was into it.

Russell.

Well,
this is tough for me

because I just can't see
my people doing this.

Uh‐huh.

[ Laughter ]

So I went back with my
same choice of Number 1 again.

[ Laughs ]
Michelle: Whoo!

[ Applause ]

Jeremy,
who'd you pick and why?

I didn't want to write
another number down.

I like Number 2.

He's honest about something,

even if it wasn't
the last thing,

so let's go,
Number 2.
Alright.

Yara,
who do you think it is and why?

I'm gonna go
with Number 1.
You're gonna go
with Number 1.

Let's see.
Michelle: Whoa!

Jeremy: An even split,
right?
Alright!

Let's see.

It's time to find out
who's been telling the truth.

Will the real
professional armpit sniffer

please stand up?
Come on, 2.
Come on, 2.

♪♪

Go, go!

Yes!

It's Number 1!

Yeah!

Yes!

[ Cheers and applause ]

[ Laughs ]

You have an honest face,
Number 2.

[ Laughs ]

That is wild.

That's so wild.

Alright, Number 1.

Please introduce
"yoursmelf."

[ Laughter ]

I'm Barrie Drewitt‐Barlow,

and I'm a professional
armpit sniffer.

Alright. Number 2.

[ Applause ]

Please introduce yourself
to our panel.

My name is Kamal Khan,

and I'm
a Bollywood singer.

Alright!
Hey!

Anthony: Hold on.
We are taking a break.

We'll be right back.

To smell the person,
to me,

who's really
the stinkiest

and then put the deodorant on
and smell again?

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Welcome back to
"To Tell the Truth,"

the show the Emmy committee has
been ghosting for five seasons.

Let's take a look
at the leaderboard

before we get started
in our final round.

Yara, you're atop
the leaderboard, with 20 points.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Michelle, Russell, and Jeremy
are tied for second ‐‐

or last ‐‐ at 10.

[ Laughter ]

But since this is
the final round,

points are doubled.

‐Okay.
‐Okay.
‐Ooh!
‐Ooh!

Let's meet our final guests.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

It's Number 1.

Jeremy: It's definitely 1.
His shoelaces.

Gentlemen,
please introduce yourselves.

I am a parkour champion.

I'm a parkour champion.

I am a parkour champion.

Here is this person's story
in their own words.

"If you've ever wondered
what's the quickest,

most stylish route you can take
to the grocery store,

then you and I
have a lot in common.

I'm a champion in parkour,
an acrobatic sport

where the object is to get
from point A to point B

as efficiently as possible

while overcoming physical
obstacles along the way.

I've won several competitions,

including the North American
Parkour Championships,

where athletes are judged
on course interaction,

difficulty, and execution.

Some people think dedicating
my life to parkour is crazy.

I say they are jumping
to the wrong conclusion."

[ Laughter ]

Yep.

[ Applause ]

Now, one of these people
is the real parkour champion

and is the only one who has been
sworn to tell the truth.

Gentlemen, please take a seat.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Yara,
why don't you get us started?

Okay, I have a basic question
and then a follow‐up.

So, Number 2,
is "parkour" a verb?

Like, how do you describe
what you do?

Do you say "I parkour"
Or "I can parkour somewhere"?

So, in the parkour community,
we call it training.

It's a little confusing
because in other sports,

training is training,
but when we parkour, we train.

Okay.

And, Number 1,
what gear do you wear

to parkour ‐‐
or to train?

I generally like to wear
any loose‐fitting athletic wear.

Number 3,
how did you get started?

Number 3: I kind of
just saw a video of it

and kind of just started
to train from there

and got hooked.

Same with twerking
for me.

[ Laughter ]

Number 2,
how did you get started?

So, when I was on
the Zurich ski team,

we did a lot of leg training,

and our coach had
a lot of obstacle courses,

and that's when I found out that
I like jumping over stuff.

You're from Zurich?

Oh.
Jeremy: Huh.
Okay!

You grew up in Zurich?
How long have you been here?

This isn't an INS quiz.
This is hilarious.

But you don't have much
of an accent.

I'm illegal, too.
Don't worry about it.

[ Laughter ]

Number 1,
have you ever injured yourself?

I did, yeah, awhile back.

What'd you do?

I broke my arm.

Michelle: Mm. Okay.
And 3?

Yeah, I've torn the tendon
out of my finger,

and I have two knee surgeries,
as well.

How long
have you been parkouring?

For about nine years.
And you?

Five years.

About 10 years.

Do you guys have
health insurance?

'Cause this feels
very dangerous.

[ Laughter ]

What was the biggest prize
you won, Number 2?

$2,000.

That's it?

[ Laughter ]

I mean,
you've risked your life.

[ Laughter ]

It's for the passion,
the love of the sport.

And how much
did surgery cost?

Tracers are really passionate
about what we do and...

What is it called?
Racers?

Traceurs. Traceurs.

It's a French word.
Oh.

Michelle: Ooh!
Oh.

Okay!

Wait, case‐‐
What does the word mean?

What are you saying?

It's just the term
for people who do ‐‐

"Tracer" is "to draw a line"
in French,

and we call our moves,
our run‐throughs, lines.

And, 1 and 3,
are you familiar with that word?

Yes.
Yes.

Russell:
How do you say it?

I say "tracer."

Have you ever used parkour
in real life ‐‐

like, maybe to pick up a girl
or something?

You see her across the room,
you flip over something,

you do a little hop and skip
and ask?

Anthony: Number 1?

I mean,
it's a conversation starter,

but, no,
I've never done that.
Number 3?

I think parkour just comes with
a natural style,

and I feel like I can
impose that at the bar.

How do you impo‐‐
Okay.

"How are you?"

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Time's up!

Let's see who the panel thinks
is the real parkour champion.

Oh, man.

Guys, you know what to do ‐‐
1, 2, or 3.

And, remember, three of you
are tied for last place.

I got this.
I got this locked down!

Things aren't always
what they seem, panel.

Things aren't always
what they seem.

I know.

Mama,
who do you think it is?

I'm just gonna go
with Number 3

'cause he had
two knee surgeries.

He could be lying, Mama.

I know ‐‐
he could be lying.

And he ain't gonna be doing this
much longer.

[ Laughter ]

Alright. Yara,
we're gonna start with you.

Who do you think is
our world‐champion parkourer?

Okay, well, Number 2,
I like the way you said ‐‐

what is it ‐‐
traceur?

Traceur.
Traceur.

See, then his Zurich accent
comes out.
No.

No,
I appreciate it.
It's French.

I know,
but your Zurich accent ‐‐
Michelle: Ooh!

Hey, hold on, boy!
I'm the host!

[ Applause ]

I'm sorry, Yara.
Yara: No, I like
the amount of detail you had.

Number 3,
I was a little confused

on how you impose parkour energy
into your dating life,

which just left a lot of
questions for me, you know?

So I have to
go with Number 2.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jeremy,
who do you think...

I'm bummed...

...is our world‐champion
parkourer?

...because I think
you're right,

and if you get it
and I get it,

then you still win.

So it's definitely Number 2,
though.

You were tight
with your answers,

no stutter
in there at all.

It's definitely Number 2.
Alright.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Russell.

I mean,
he's the leanest out of them,

and I figure,
if you're running

and jumping off things
all the time,

you're gonna get lean.

Uh‐huh.

So I'm going with Number 3
and his aerodynamic face.

[ Laughs ]

[ Cheers and applause ]

Michelle.

He does look like
"no meat, no dairy, no fun,"

just running
and jumping all the time.

Like, you lookin' nice, guy,
but we can't hang,

'cause I can't have
that much edamame.

And, Number 1,
you so cute.

You're like you're
just going to college,
trying to figure it out.

Thank you.
[ Laughter ]

I want to go ‐‐

I want to say it's Number 2
because he's European

and he, like,
was born with healthcare

and they think
they can do anything

when they're born
with healthcare,

like jump over stuff.

Anthony: Alright!

Everyone's locked in.

Will the real parkour champion
please stand up?

...after this
commercial break.

Ohh!

We'll come back,
and you'll get to see who it is.

Hate when he does that.

Cliff‐hangers.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

Welcome back to
"To Tell the Truth."

Now, before the break,

our celebrities
locked in their guesses

as they tried to identify
the real parkour champion.

And remember, this round
is worth double points.

Yara, Michelle, Jeremy,
you picked Number 2.

Russell, you picked Number 3.

It's the moment of truth!

Will the real parkour champion
please stand up?

♪♪

It's definitely 2.

Number 2 is too tall.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Damn it! Damn it!
What?!

[ Anthony screams ]

Yara:
Oh, my God!

[ Cheers and applause ]

Whooooooo!

Heeeeey!

Jeremy: Yes.
Very nicely done.

[ Cheers and applause ]

So, that little display
leads me to believe

that you are
the parkour champion.

Please introduce yourself
to our panel.

My name's Joey Adrian,
and I am a parkour champion.

Alright. I think we got
some photos of you.

Michelle: Aww!
Yeah.

‐Now, that's Vegas.
‐[ Laughs ]

Alright,
Impostor Number 2,

please introduce yourself
to the panel.

Hey.
I'm Sebastyan Meixger.

I am not
a parkour champion,

but I know my way around
a par 4.

I used to be
on the Swiss golf team.

Ohh!

Ah! Ha ha.

Impostor Number 3,

please introduce yourself
to our panel.

Hi.
My name's Bryan Jordan.

I am not
a parkour champion,

but I have won
two championships

as a soccer player
for the LA Galaxy.

Anthony: Oh!

Alright!
Yara: I mean...

Time to check out
our final leaderboard.

Yara with 20,
our winner for tonight.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jeremy, Michelle, and Russell
came in butt‐naked last place.

My mother is the tiebreaker.

My mother decides
who loses tonight.

Okay, I love Jeremy.

I love you, baby.
Okay?

And she's funny
as hell.

And I don't know that guy
named Russell.

Okay.
[ Laughter ]

So who's the biggest loser
tonight, Mama?

Russell,
come on up and keep losing.

Come over there.

Russell, I can confirm

that you are officially
tonight's worst player.

The "D" is for "dummy."

[ Laughter ]

Go to Anthony.
Russell, please come.

I can't believe...

[ Cheers and applause ]

Alright.

I can't believe
your mom gave me the "D."

[ Laughs ]

Well, Russell,
it's not how you play the game.

Yes.
It's how you finish,

and you finished
butt‐naked last.
Correct.

Is there anything
you'd like to say to your fans

and family
that are watching?

There's nobody
watching me.
Sorry.
We're out of time.

I'd like to thank
our guests tonight ‐‐

our Chippendales dancer,
the house flipper,

our princess dress designer,
the professional armpit sniffer,

our parkour champion.

And don't forget
all of our wonderful impostors

and my celebrity panel ‐‐

our big loser tonight,
Russell,

Michelle, Yara, and Jeremy,

and, most importantly,
my beautiful mama, Doris.

We'll see you next time
on "To Tell the Truth."

Hi, Bellflower!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪