Original subtitles

This programme contains some strong language

Why do I have to come here? Well, because we do. And Rosie loves the library, don't you?

Hey.

Oh, look, Rosie. Look, look. Look at the books. You see it?

ROSIE SQUEALS LOUDLY

No, Rosie, no, no.

Shh! You have to be quiet.

Shh! Just be quiet, shh, shh.

Kss. Kss.

No, Rosie!

Leave the books on the shelf.

No, come on, come on.

No, no, no, no. She loves the library.

Rosie! No!

No, no, no! Oh, man.

Si, Si. Buggies, buggies, buggies, buggies, buggies.

Ben, Ben! No, that's not ours, that's not ours.

I'm so sorry. Sorry.

No, Rosie. Rosie, that's disgusting. Not your baby. Sorry.

Not your things, not your things.

Not your things, Rosie.

Come on, Rosie.

Whoa, OK. Sorry. OK.

Come on. Really sorry. Sorry. Sorry, everyone.

I thought you had her.

She's not my sole responsibility.

Well, that's great. Now Mummy can never come to the library again.

Good. Enough of your attitude. Don't talk to your mother like that.

Don't talk to me like that! Neither of you are helping.

I didn't want to come here in the first place. Apologise to Mum. I didn't do anything wrong!

Mu-ma.

Rosie, did you just say "Mummy"?

You clever girl.

Use your words again.

Mumma.

Clever girl! Say it again.

Mumma.

EMILY CHUCKLES

Mumma. Oh, you clever girl.

Can you say "Mumma" again? Mumma.

Daddy. Da-ddy. Da-ddy.

Yeah, it's probably harder to say.

Er, no, typically "Dada" is easier than "Mumma",

so I'm sure she'll be saying it soon.

She's doing so well with her communication.

Wow, "Mumma" and "kss" - she's already got more words than Hodor.

I... Game of Thrones?

Right.

And she's really coming along with her non-verbal communication, too.

You're a little superstar, aren't you, Rosie?

The main thing is just to keep using the Pec symbols,

so she links the picture with the activity.

How are you finding she responds when you use it at home?

Good.

Er, we could...we could probably be a bit more diligent.

God, don't worry, I totally get that.

Literally just has to be 20 minutes, half an hour in the evenings,

just when you can, and the same with the AAC.

And she did a wee on the toilet twice today.

It's all just about that consistency,

taking her every half an hour, whether or not she needs to go.

Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're not... fully in the swing of that yet.

It's just hard, you know?

Well, I don't have to tell you,

looking after Rosie's pretty...

..full-on.

Yeah. Well, we'll see you on Saturday.

For the PTA fundraiser?

Yeah. Bye, Rosie.

I didn't want to say anything, but "Hodor", erm,

is a contraction of "hold the door", so technically has three words.

That's...

With Rosie, do you think we moan too much?

YOU moan too much, but you moan too much about looking after Ben.

Ah, no, sit still, sit still.

There you go.

Hang on, hang on.

Ugh!

ROSIE GROANS

There you go.

Calm down, Rosie. Dad's going to get in the back.

I do think we should do more, though, to get her using signing.

I let her watch Mr Tumble doing Makaton on the iPad.

More than that.

I'm going to fish out those Pecs sheets.

I think they're in the backroom somewhere.

You know every time we do this, you look like an Uber driver?

ROSIE SHRIEKS

OK, Rosie, can you find the red monkey?

Show Dr Saggat the red monkey.

She's started laughing at hippo.

Is hippo being silly? Is he being silly?

Rosie? Is hippo being silly?

The red monkey.

What about the blue elephant?

I think this Crystal Maze might take a while.

So, Griffiths Development Scale is

a standardised testing tool for children.

It's basically a rough guide for how Rosie's getting on.

She's definitely more responsive.

She giggles.

Not in that assessment, but, to be fair to Rosie, my timing was off.

That's very encouraging to hear, Simon,

and your experiences with Rosie are of crucial importance,

but what the assessment is for is to try and gauge some objective

benchmark to compare Rosie to other children of her age.

Now, Dr Saggat has sent me her assessment,

and this takes in locomotor skills, social interaction, reasoning.

OK, with general quotient,

a score between 90 and 110 is considered average.

Below 70 is low.

Rosie's score is 47.

Right.

And what does that mean in context?

It means that Rosie's score is in the bottom 0.02%.

I should point out, these results may be affected by such factors

as mood, test environment, and we'll evaluate Rosie again in six months.

Well, we'll make sure she revises harder.

Er, are those...numbers likely to get much bigger?

In my opinion, I'm afraid not.

Rosie is going to be severely learning disabled.

I'm sorry, I know that's not the news you wanted to hear.

No, no, that's...that's all right, Dr Pritchard, it's...

..it's the news I was expecting.

Bye-bye, Rosie.

Emily, Simon.

The chances are we'll never find out what specific condition Rosie has,

but that doesn't mean I'll stop looking.

Thanks, Professor Xavier.

So, do you want a... do you want a drink?

Then you have to do the sign, drink.

What about play?

Look.

Can you see sign for "play"?

Rosie?

Doesn't that mean, "Piss off, Mum"?

Yeah, well, got to keep at it.

Right, let me have a go.

Rosie, can you say "Daddy"?

Si, I think the school want us to concentrate more on the strategy

that Abigail was outlining.

Mm, it's just a bit boring compared, to getting her to speak.

Rosie, can you say "Daddy"?

She just shook her head for "no".

You sure? Isn't the Makaton for "no" a hand signal?

Rosie, do you want Daddy?

How is she making that link?

Maybe from school.

Rosie, do you want some salad?

Oh, you never know what'll happen.

Look at Liverpool in the Champions' League final.

A tiny part of me always wondered whether...

..just maybe...

..but it's over, Si.

We don't know.

I'm a scientist.

I've got my empirical data.

She's not going to magically improve.

There's no miracle cure, no misdiagnosis.

I'm...

I'm never going to sit with her while she opens her GCSEs

and you're...you're never going to walk her down...

SHE WHIMPERS

You want to talk?

What's the point? I'll just drop you at work.

Do you want boiled eggs with the yellow bits thrown away?

That's...that's very good,

but if you want to say "yes", then we nod our head.

Yes. Remember? Nod for "yes".

This is fantastic. It's a breakthrough.

If you think of the range of conversation she can have with basic

yes-no questions. I mean, it's the basis of negotiation.

Do you want meaty pasta?

Fish fingers and...

Shall we go to the toilet?

Do we need to...?

OK, well, you...you didn't even hear what I was asking.

Do you...do you want sausages?

It's like she thinks everything you suggest is shit.

PHONE RINGS

This must be what it's like to be Alan Sugar's apprentice.

I might give it a go.

Barney!

Simon, can we go ahead with smartphones?

No.

What? What, no discussion? No.

That's a terrible idea. Why would I ruin a magazine with that shit?

It's really good fun.

No, don't sulk, Barney, I'm just joking.

OK.

Mm?

Do you want Mini Cheddars?

SHE SQUEALS

They're both settled.

You want some food? Er, no, I'm not hungry.

I think I'm going to read.

OK, I might go outside for a smoke.

PHONE CHIMES

HE SCOFFS

GRUNTING

Oh, hi.

Hi, there.

Chris. Simon. Nice to meet you.

We moved in last Thursday.

Yeah. Er, yeah, we saw the van in the street.

We were going to come round, but then we just got a bit swamped with the kids.

Oh, no worries. We've got our first on the way.

Claire's at 23 weeks, so everything's a bit frantic.

Congratulations, mate.

Yeah, we've got a boy and a girl,

but it's a bit different for us, cos Rosie's mentally disabled.

Oh, God, I'm so sorry.

What's her learning disability?

Er, we don't know.

Yeah, recently had some bad news.

Very bad. Erm...

That's why I'm out here in the night garden, as it were.

Got my own version of the Pinky Ponk.

Right.

Yeah, we didn't know there was a problem till 32 weeks.

I-I'm sure you'll be fine.

Listen, what Rosie's got is really very rare.

You won't get your own Midwich Cuckoo.

Sorry, sorry.

I make inappropriate jokes, just makes everything less... You know.

Of course.

Look, it's really nice to meet you, Simon.

Better get in, warm up Her Majesty's coco.

You want a glass of wine? I can open another bottle.

I mean, I'm going to anyway.

Fuck knows I could use the company.

It's fine, I... You know, I should go in, with Claire, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

EMILY: Rosie.

Rosie.

Are you ready?

Oh, she's eager.

Erm, I've been thinking I can help with getting her in the car

and everything, but I might not hang around for the whole thing,

you know, the raffles and the races and everything.

I might just go for a walk and meet you at the end. Why?

Just not really my thing, is it?

A burger stall and a couple of egg and spoon races to raise money

for disabled children?

Do you reckon one of the kids could win the three-legged race

without even being tied to someone?

You literally have no idea about anyone in Rosie's class, do you?

Maybe if you spent a bit of time engaging...

It's a joke, because it all just sounds so earnest.

I'm sure the kids are great, it's just the parents.

They're just not really my vibe.

What's wrong with the parents?

Just a bit...intense, you know?

Telling you about their kid with a massive rictus grin,

like how it's the greatest thing that's ever happened to them,

"Isn't it? Isn't it?

"Isn't it the greatest thing that's ever happened to you?"

"No, not really, cos we're at a school where

"the half-term newsletter sometimes has an obit section."

All right, Si, keep it light.

There are kids there being fed through a tube in their stomach and

I'm there moaning about how I can't get my daughter to put her shoes on.

Oh, my God.

That's it.

Ironically, we're about to go to the one place where you're not special.

What are you talking about?

You've lost your victim status.

You're worried they're going to look down on you. Yeah.

It's like I'm losing my superpowers.

It's like I'm an X-Man, but I'm a rubbish one,

so, they're all Wolverine and Magneto, and I...

..can see halfway through walls.

Come on, Rosie!

Are you still thinking about the crappiest X-Man superpower?

Yep.

What about the power to turn toast back into bread?

Yeah, good.

Oh, man.

She's less willing than we are.

Look, there's loads to do.

Look, we can run in the races.

We can throw the beanbags in the buckets.

Don't you want...don't you want to win a prize?

It's sports day at a special school,

I'm pretty sure everyone's taking home a prize.

When do the wacky races begin?

You're better than that. Am I?

As a...as a person, no.

I... But I just mean your little joke is rubbish.

Good idea, Rosie.

Let's hang back here.

What's the polite amount of time to stay?

Do you want to go to the toilet? Rosie?

Oh, do you want a hand?

Oh, no, it's just some salad for the burger table. I can manage.

Though, actually, do you mind helping me set up?

Sure, yeah.

Yup.

Catering I can do.

All right, we'll get going.

Erm, back about 6.30.

Bye, Ben. Have a nice day.

Bye.

Bye, Rosie.

ROSIE CRIES

Coming, Rosie.

Maybe you should see someone.

What, another woman?

Ha-ha. No. Like therapy.

What, some quack show me ink blots that look like vulvas?

I forgot you haven't seen that many, have you?

You might've seen more if you didn't refer to them as vulvas.

I don't need therapy.

What do you think this is?

Yeah, but it's free and you don't judge me.

Er, I do fucking judge you.

And I haven't signed a piece of paper that stops me

telling everyone else what a prick you are.

The GP put Em on Prozac.

Can't blame her.

I'm not doing Prozac.

Why? Because you'll have to stop drinking?

No, I told her what I drink.

20 units a week.

And if you cut that down to 60, it'd be great.

Seriously, Si, you need to talk to someone.

Hi, Emily.

Hi, Rosie. Hi, Abigail.

This is great. This is such a lovely day.

Unfortunately, um, madam is in one of her Robert Smith moods.

I... From The Cure.

Ironic name, really.

Oh.

Erm...

ROSIE MOANS

Er, but, actually, I wanted to come and find you.

We have made something of a breakthrough with

some of the communication exercises that you suggested.

Rosie, do you want some salad?

Come on, Rosie. Do you want some green salad?

That's right. "No, I don't, Mummy."

Isn't it great? It's definitely one of the key non-verbal signals she's

getting more confident with.

Oh, so she does that... she does that at school?

Oh, off and on.

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

She just needs to learn sign language for yes.

I mean, she doesn't... she doesn't nod at school, does she?

Oh, no. Not yet. Small steps.

But she can be so articulate when she does want something.

Can she? Really?

With the AAC usually.

Have you got it with you?

Er, yep, yep.

Shall we show Mum how good we are with the AAC?

Oh, hi. Simon.

Rosie Yates's dad. Year seven, Ms Hampton's class.

Hi, I'm Becky, er, Jake's mum.

Oh, right, yeah.

Rosie has a chromosomal disorder.

Ah. Not diagnosed, but we're in the 100,000 Genome Project -

we might yet find out.

Erm, severe learning problems.

Er... Aside from that, physically, she's fine.

Erm, emotionally, who knows? But she's our little treasure.

Yeah, she's a real ray of light.

I mean, all the kids are, though, aren't they?

I mean, God knows, some of them have got some real challenges.

I see the ones with the crash helmets. That's...

That must be a strain.

We get off pretty lightly.

Cleaning up the shit.

Probably don't have to tell you that.

Maybe... What's... What is Jake's...situation?

Autism.

Oh, right.

Tough, tough, very tough. Yeah.

I was actually just after a couple of those beers.

I can grab those for you. Thanks.

Here you go.

Oh, yeah, that's...

Cheers.

Good. Thank you.

MUSIC: Kennedy by The Wedding Present

Hey! Ha-ha! Looking good, Dad. Si.

And this, of course, is...

Er, Kennedy, Wedding Present?

Exactly! First gig we ever saw, Barrowlands, 1987.

And here - what was the second gig?

Simple Minds? No! Come on, Si, no! Same venue.

Husker Du. Husker Du, exactly.

Yeah. Look, can I just put these, this down?

It's just an overnight bag, don't worry. Aye, sure, sure, sure.

Or, erm, actually, maybe...maybe Husker Du was Newcastle, was it?

It might've been, yeah.

If you go to the "play activities" jump cell.

Yeah.

And then the "more" jump cell.

Ah, now, so I get mixed up with... Is it...?

It's just the last on the right, then the bottom corner cell.

Yep. Then choose "hall".

No, I've been... I've been using it for years

and I still get it mixed up. Should I? Yeah.

So, look at all the things we can do in the hall, Rosie.

What does Rosie want to do?

Yeah, not in the mood, are you? Little Miss Grouch.

Rosie.

Listening face.

Yes. What does Rosie want to do?

AUTOMATED VOICE: I...want...beanbag.

Which beanbag?

I...want...

..green...beanbag.

Wow!

Here you go.

What's that? What's that?

That's Rosie saying "thank you".

Is there anything else you want to do?

I...want...toilet.

OK. Shall we all go?

Right, here we go.

I've got the burgers.

But do not touch this tray.

It's really, really hot, OK? You all right?

Yeah. You know, Abigail is a great teacher.

Do you ever think to yourself that someone else would be

a better parent for Rosie than you?

You want a juice box?

OK? No problem, just stay away from this. Hot, OK?

Rosie, do you want some water? No, no, Rosie, do you want a drink?

Do you want a drink?

Do you want a drink, Rosie?

Yeah?

And how do we say "thank you"?

How do we say "thank you"?

See, she doesn't even bother to do it properly when it's just us.

Rosie, how do we say "thank you"?

Oh, I swear that was sarcastic.

How can you be sarcastic in Makaton?

I'm going to sort the burgers. Just wait there nicely.

Do you want some food? Er... Here you go.

No. It's because it's got seeds on it.

Right. Do you want a hot dog bun? Stay there nicely.

This has got a bit of ketchup...ketchup on it.

HE SIGHS

LOUDLY: Oh, Jesus Christ, what's wrong with this one?!

CHATTER STOPS

Talking about the hot dog bun...

Hi, what's your name?

Millie. Millie. You're going to be my first customer.

Would you like a hot dog or a burger?

You look like you could do with a hand. Yes, please.

Ending on Neil Young - Like a Hurricane.

I mean, the list needs cutting down. It's seven hours long, you know?

But, well, you only get one wake, don't you?

Or I could end on a laugh, of course.

I could finish on Stone Roses - I Am The Resurrection.

What do you think? Yeah, no, definitely go for the gag, Dad.

Oh, here you are, here you go.

This'll help. Well, it hasn't done so far.

So, erm... How's Ben? How's Rosie?

Mm-hm, good.

I must actually send Ben a cheque for his birthday.

When was it again? 23rd, 25th?

Eighth.

I was hoping we could have a talk, Dad.

I need to talk to someone and...

Well, what's the opposite of a first resort?

Can we sit down? Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

It's one step forward and ten steps back,

and this diagnosis of Rosie's just broken us.

TEARFUL: I don't know if I should stay, Dad.

HE SNIFFS

Sorry.

Must be thinking about the playlist for your wake.

You don't have to hide behind your jokes for me.

I'm no' going to judge you, son.

I don't have the right to judge anybody.

When you left, how did you know?

I just did.

But how? What happened?

You know I don't talk about it.

What, you'll wait until I'm older?

It wisnae a decision that was taken lightly.

The hardest thing...the hardest thing is to look your kids

in the eye and tell them their daddy's leaving.

How the fuck would you know?

You didn't do it!

I did!

Didn't I?

Well...if I didn't, I meant to.

You just fucked off!

Left me waiting in that sitting room for you to come home

and put your coat over the banister.

And you never came, and part of me never left that sitting room.

I'm still standing there trying to figure out how to fix it

and I never could fix it, Dad.

I'm sorry. And now I'm thinking of doing that to my Ben and my Rosie

and my Em. What sort of man does that make me?

Oh, son.

I'm failing, Dad, I'm failing.

I don't know how to stop failing.

I don't know how to stop it, Dad. Oh, Si.

Oh.

No, Ben, lights out.

There's school tomorrow.

I'm just writing my story.

It's bedtime, honey.

Is Dad coming up?

Er, no.

No, Dad's not here tonight.

Mum, is Rosie going to get better?

The thing is, Rosie isn't poorly.

Then why does she go to hospital?

Rosie's...

..just Rosie.

It's just...who she is.

She's not ill, so...

..she can't get better.

Will she be normal?

She'll be...Rosie normal.

Do you want me to read some book?

Ah, The Dinosaur Story, by Ben.

"The dinosaur had a fossil and his head cracked the ceiling.

"The giant had a plan to kill the dinosaur."

The giant's the baddie.

Do you like it?

Yes, it's beautiful.

My clever boy.

Worst thing with Charlotte is getting her here on time

in the morning, though I always think,

it's not like she's missing chemistry, is it?

Good school though, eh?

Well, it means Jake's someone else's problem for seven hours a day.

Hey. Hey. Making friends?

He thought you'd all look down on him, which you really should.

Are we...thinking about heading off?

Mumma.

Mu-mumma.

No, no, Rosie.

No, that's A mummy.

I'm YOUR mummy.

We've got time for one more, haven't we?

Any children wanting to take part in the 20-metre race,

come down to the field now. Thank you.

Hey, do you want to race?

I don't think it's that important, Em.

I hear last year, six kids all tied for last.

Come on, Rosie, do it for Mummy.

Look at me, look at me.

Listening face.

What do you want? Do you want to do running?

AUTOMATED VOICE: I...want...running.

I want running. I want running. I want running.

All right, all right, don't go on about it!

Here you go, Charlotte. There's your end.

There we are.

So, run. Do your running, do your running,

all the way to the tape, OK? All the way to the tape.

Good.

OK, everyone.

Fast as you can when I say ready, steady...

..go!

CHEERING

Go! Come on!

Rosie! Rosie!

Rosie!

Rosie!

Rosie, stop!

Rosie!

"For being a superstar and taking part in the sports day."

I mean, they might as well have given me a certificate.

If you think about it, Rosie, you did win, cos you ran 20 metres

the quickest, just not in the right direction.

Right, we're off downstairs now.

Want one of us to stay with you?

You want Daddy?

Da-ddy.

Mumma.

Do you want hippo?

You want hippo?

Yes!

Yes, you got it!

# There she goes

# There she goes again

# Pulsing through my veins

# And I just can't contain

# This feeling that remains. #