Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:03,060
Situated.
2
00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:05,790
Mm.
3
00:00:05,820 --> 00:00:07,350
Yeah, very good,
very good, very good.
4
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:08,830
Mumma.
5
00:00:08,860 --> 00:00:11,310
Mummy, Daddy and Rosie and Ben
and Gandalf at Christmas.
6
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:13,750
But Mummy needs to do her work,
so can you go and look at it
7
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,620
by yourself?
Mm.
8
00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:23,950
Yes, Rosie, it's a
Christmas tree and presents,
9
00:00:23,980 --> 00:00:26,550
but Mummy really,
really needs to do her work.
10
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:29,590
Why don't you go show Daddy?
Go and show Daddy!
11
00:00:29,620 --> 00:00:32,950
Yeah, I get it,
lovely Christmas Yahtzee,
12
00:00:32,980 --> 00:00:34,540
but Rosie, it's not Christmas.
13
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:54,300
Yeah, Gandalf.
14
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,500
I'm just reading the paper,
honey bunny. Go show Mummy.
15
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,150
Created. Oh, God, not again.
16
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:03,780
Si?
17
00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:09,310
Oh, good,
you've moved on to videos.
18
00:02:09,340 --> 00:02:10,550
Baby Jesus...
19
00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:11,990
Great.
20
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:14,670
Christmas nativity.
21
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,500
Yes! You're a nativity elf!
22
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:24,310
And one of the three wise Batmans.
23
00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:29,260
And the Christmas bass beat.
24
00:02:30,340 --> 00:02:33,740
To be fair, by that stage,
Dad wanted to do the same.
25
00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,470
No, Rosie, not again, not again.
26
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,190
That's enough now.
That's enough.
27
00:02:45,220 --> 00:02:46,740
No, no.
28
00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:52,350
So, Rosie, Rosie.
29
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:53,830
This is today.
30
00:02:53,860 --> 00:02:55,510
February 18th.
31
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:59,350
And then we have one sleep
and it's tomorrow, which is Sunday.
32
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:02,670
And then we have another sleep
and it's Monday,
33
00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,750
which is when Rosie goes to school.
34
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,710
So, in two sleeps, it's school,
35
00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:10,550
but Christmas is...
36
00:03:10,580 --> 00:03:12,350
December 25th,
37
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:15,870
which is... is...
38
00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:17,670
here.
39
00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:20,700
And that's... Oh...
40
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:27,430
310 sleeps away, yes?
41
00:03:27,460 --> 00:03:29,820
But we are here.
42
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:36,980
Oh, God, what have I done?
43
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,620
Si?
44
00:03:43,420 --> 00:03:45,350
She's, she's doing my head in.
45
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:49,710
Can you...
Has she been watching Home Alone?
46
00:03:49,740 --> 00:03:52,630
Yeah, Dad put it on for her.
47
00:03:52,660 --> 00:03:55,030
Do you pay any attention?
48
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,950
What has she been obsessing about?
49
00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:58,830
Going on holiday? Yes.
50
00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:00,180
But more recently?
51
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,300
Er, er...
52
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:07,030
Christmas!
53
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,310
Oh, Christmas.
54
00:04:08,340 --> 00:04:09,910
Christmas, yeah.
55
00:04:09,940 --> 00:04:12,870
Why would you show her a film where
a family go on holiday at Christmas?
56
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:15,230
Why are you encouraging her,
Si? Why?
57
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:18,510
Strictly speaking, Kevin doesn't
go on holiday or have a family
58
00:04:18,540 --> 00:04:21,590
Christmas, because he's home alone.
59
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:24,830
I think she might find the plot
nuances of Home Alone
60
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:26,470
a bit complicated.
61
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,430
Like you and Godfather II.
62
00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,870
Why does Hyman Roth
live in a bungalow?!
63
00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:33,300
I need to finish this
draft by Tuesday, so...
64
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,590
Yeah, OK, all right.
65
00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,830
Come on, Rosie. No more DVDs.
66
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,790
Shoes on, let's go out. Come on.
67
00:04:41,820 --> 00:04:44,060
Come on, Ben!
No.
68
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:50,630
I'm going leave the door open
and the bathroom light on, OK?
69
00:04:50,660 --> 00:04:53,190
Night-night, darling.
Night, Mummy.
70
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:54,540
Hi.
71
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:57,750
The grill broke.
72
00:04:57,780 --> 00:05:00,670
Jesus, that's the first thing
you've got to say? Well, it did.
73
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,470
Not, "Hi, how was your day?"
Sorry.
74
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,310
My day's been shit, Si.
75
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:07,470
The grill broke.
How was yours? Fun?
76
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:09,070
Well, it WAS.
77
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,510
Well, if it's no fun,
why are you here, Si?
78
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:13,950
Why don't you run back to Scotland
and live with your dad?
79
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:17,190
Cos that's what we agreed, to try and
function as some sort of a family.
80
00:05:17,220 --> 00:05:20,670
Sorry if it's an effort.
I'm going out back, for a smoke.
81
00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:22,700
Yeah, you deserve it.
Whatever!
82
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,990
Right, here we go.
83
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:07,150
Right, if you're a very good girl
84
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,150
and you come nicely to the park
you can have some Mini Cheddars.
85
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,950
What is it? You want to go this way?
86
00:06:13,980 --> 00:06:15,990
To the big park, is it?
87
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,420
All right, OK.
88
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,700
All right Rosie,
the big park's this way.
89
00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:29,030
Come on.
Come on, no, no, no, no, come on.
90
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,070
We're going to the park,
it'll be fun.
91
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,020
What's that?
92
00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:41,430
Hello.
93
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,350
Hi, you know that noise
Donald Sutherland makes
94
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,190
at the end of
Invasion Of The Body Snatchers?
95
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:49,470
Oh, wow! Ah.
96
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:51,110
What does she want?
97
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:54,870
I dunno, she just dragged me to that
garden centre off the High Street.
98
00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:58,870
The garden centre where we
bought our Christmas tree.
99
00:06:58,900 --> 00:07:00,740
Do you want a Christmas tree?
100
00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:07,270
I don't think they have
any Christmas trees.
101
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:08,950
Rosie.
102
00:07:08,980 --> 00:07:10,830
Excuse me. Sorry, mate.
103
00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:12,830
Um, you have any Christmas trees?
104
00:07:12,860 --> 00:07:17,230
I can, I can check.
But I'm, I'm pretty sure we don't.
105
00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:19,310
It's, it's February.
Yeah.
106
00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:23,070
Yeah. Yeah, see, see,
they have no Christmas trees.
107
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:24,550
OK, I've gotta go.
108
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:26,150
I've gotta go.
109
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:27,550
All right, come on.
110
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:29,870
Let's go to the park
for a nice walk.
111
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:33,950
Yup, let's go to the park
for some park fun.
112
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:38,030
Oh, let's go to the park
for a nice walk in the park.
113
00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:39,780
Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa.
114
00:07:42,260 --> 00:07:44,710
Hey, see, this is a nice walk.
115
00:07:44,740 --> 00:07:46,340
Kss.
116
00:07:47,620 --> 00:07:49,230
Kss.
117
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:51,030
I don't see an X.
118
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:53,670
Gonna have to be strict,
you can't start claiming "kss"
119
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:55,500
that don't exist, young lady.
120
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:03,990
You're fucking kidding me.
121
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,790
OK, Rosie, Rosie.
122
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:08,550
Look at Dad, look at Dad,
look at Dad. Oh, hello.
123
00:08:08,580 --> 00:08:10,550
Right, what's that? It's a 'kss'.
124
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:12,870
Look, a mega kss.
125
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:15,350
Kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss.
126
00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:17,670
Kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kss.
127
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:22,110
Hey, hey, hey.
128
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,310
Hey.
129
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,870
Hi, guys. Oh.
130
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,830
Hi, Chris. What's this?
131
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:29,350
Oh, prostate cancer.
Just a bit of fun.
132
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:32,310
Hence the...
Yeah, it's a laugh, isn't it?
133
00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:36,790
It's actually a, a light,
non-restrictive design, so... Yeah.
134
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:40,230
Sorry, I don't wanna fall off the
pace too much, do you mind if I...
135
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:42,276
Oh, sorry, of course, yeah.
Out of the way, Rosie. OK.
136
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:46,110
Good luck. See you later.
Thanks. Come on, Chris.
137
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:49,430
Oh, for fuck's sake, how Christmassy
do you wanna make it?
138
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,740
Come on!
139
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,710
It was mental.
Mumma.
140
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,990
No, Rosie, I'm not gonna come
and look at the calendar.
141
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:00,870
You, you do it by yourself.
142
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:03,430
They had at least three, Em,
143
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:06,550
three...
Father Christmases,
144
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,870
and two Batmen.
145
00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:13,430
Batmans? His name's Batman,
so it would be Batmans, not Batmen.
146
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:16,750
Like, it would be two Simons,
not Simen.
147
00:09:16,780 --> 00:09:18,990
You know you're on the spectrum?
148
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,550
Mm.
149
00:09:21,580 --> 00:09:23,990
No, Rosie, that's it.
150
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:27,430
I am hiding December in a cupboard.
151
00:09:27,460 --> 00:09:28,670
Eh!
152
00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,230
Please, please.
153
00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:36,300
Will you learn the concept of time?
154
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:43,550
I mean, we could just have...
Christmas next week.
155
00:09:43,580 --> 00:09:46,070
But it's not Christmas.
I know, but it might shut her up.
156
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:47,350
You reckon?
157
00:09:47,380 --> 00:09:49,876
You don't think we'll be teaching
her that every day is Christmas?
158
00:09:49,900 --> 00:09:51,996
Every day is Christmas when
you're married to me, hon.
159
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:53,830
In that we drink too much and row
160
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,750
and you fall asleep
in the front garden?
161
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,110
That happened one Christmas.
162
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:59,150
I'm not living in a Wizzard song.
163
00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:00,260
Mm, mm, mm.
164
00:10:02,260 --> 00:10:03,430
Eh.
165
00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,076
I think for Christmas
we get a new calendar.
166
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,910
Mm.
167
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,670
Mm. President's Day?
168
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:11,470
What's President's Day?
169
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,860
I don't know. It says "US".
170
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,430
"President's Day is the federal
holiday which falls on the third
171
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,870
"Monday of February and celebrates
the birth of George Washington,
172
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,510
"who was born on February 22nd,
1732."
173
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,270
Hm, we could celebrate that,
I suppose.
174
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,990
You want to do something special
on George Washington's birthday?
175
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,790
No, no, it's not his birthday,
176
00:10:31,820 --> 00:10:33,716
because it's set to
be on a Monday each year, so...
177
00:10:33,740 --> 00:10:35,470
All right, Richard Osman,
178
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,150
you literally found out about it
15 seconds ago on Wikipedia.
179
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:40,630
Want to celebrate President's Day?
180
00:10:42,940 --> 00:10:44,620
OK, OK, we can do that. Mm.
181
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:46,830
Rosie...
182
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,590
Mumma.
183
00:10:48,620 --> 00:10:51,190
Who do you mean, Ben? Hm.
184
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,380
Daddy? Mm.
185
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,430
Guh-guh.
186
00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:59,070
Oh, my God, did you say,
did you say Dadda?
187
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,990
Rosie, can you say Dadda again?
188
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:03,990
Rosie, say Dadda again.
189
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:06,110
Mm, mm, Dadda.
190
00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:07,900
Guh-guh! Oh, him...
191
00:11:10,980 --> 00:11:14,150
Guh-guh. Yes! Gandalf. Guh-guh.
192
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:18,030
You know, erm,
Paul Newman's quote about his wife,
193
00:11:18,060 --> 00:11:20,236
"Why go out for burger
when you can have steak at home?"
194
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:21,350
Mm-hm. Yeah?
195
00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:24,270
But don't you just think, sometimes,
196
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:26,470
"I really want a fucking burger,
197
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,750
"with cheese, and bacon,
and onion rings and..."
198
00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,470
Oh, for the sake of our friendship,
please don't tell be telling me
199
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,550
I'm the bacon double
cheese Whopper here.
200
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:37,870
No. I'm just not sure about
that steak in the fridge.
201
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:39,910
I mean,
202
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,310
I'd give it a smell first.
203
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:44,470
Fuck off!
Em is the finest wagyu beef,
204
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,110
with good marbling,
205
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,500
and... Mm?
206
00:11:50,060 --> 00:11:52,070
erm... No... other...
207
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:54,550
no, no, please do carry on,
sister,
208
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:57,590
cos I'm dying to know
where this analogy is heading.
209
00:11:57,620 --> 00:12:01,190
Er, it's that you are
Asda stewing steak,
210
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,950
that you have to marinade
for 24 hours in wine,
211
00:12:04,980 --> 00:12:07,030
which you kind of do.
212
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,750
I could get out there.
213
00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,310
I've got some moves.
214
00:12:10,340 --> 00:12:13,630
I'm good at stuff.
Stuff? Like filing paperwork?
215
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:14,790
Yeah.
216
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:17,030
You might not have a good
time in bed, but invoice me
217
00:12:17,060 --> 00:12:18,620
and I will pay you promptly.
218
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,070
Go home.
219
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:23,390
Go home to Em.
220
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:25,710
I've known you both a very long time
221
00:12:25,740 --> 00:12:29,790
and you will never find
anyone as lovely and funny as her,
222
00:12:29,820 --> 00:12:32,820
who's prepared to talk to you
about the Star Trek.
223
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:35,790
Mm, that's it.
224
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,340
She doesn't really talk to me.
225
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,740
Not any more.
226
00:12:45,740 --> 00:12:46,910
Eh.
227
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:50,270
Yes. Yes, Rosie,
it's President's Day!
228
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:52,030
Mm.
229
00:12:52,060 --> 00:12:53,470
Did your mum get back to you?
230
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,870
Yep. Erm, yeah, they might do a bit
of shopping this afternoon, erm,
231
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:59,670
then come back here
and head back about seven.
232
00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,870
About seven.
I'm going to do all American food.
233
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:04,620
Hot dogs, chips,
unhealthy vegetables. Mm.
234
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:09,310
No, no, Rosie, it's not
Christmas Day, it's President's Day.
235
00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:11,190
Mm.
236
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:12,830
You don't think she read it as...
237
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:14,790
Rosie,
238
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:17,830
is President's Day the day that
you open all the presidents?
239
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:23,670
No, Rosie, it's not "presents" day.
240
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,430
Mm.
241
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:28,590
No, we're not getting you
another Whoozit today.
242
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:31,430
You already have all of the
Whoozits. It's President's Day.
243
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:35,990
All right, see you later. Mm. Mm.
244
00:13:36,020 --> 00:13:37,790
Mm.
245
00:13:37,820 --> 00:13:39,030
Ooh.
246
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:40,620
What is it? Nothing. Mm.
247
00:13:43,180 --> 00:13:45,390
Why, why is she looking at a,
248
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:49,030
a Belgo Prism 31cm
Black X-Man monster dong?
249
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:50,230
Er, that's quite a mouthful.
250
00:13:50,260 --> 00:13:51,870
I mean, it's the X, isn't it?
251
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:54,350
It's her life's mission to find all
the X's in the world.
252
00:13:54,380 --> 00:13:56,750
Thank God I disabled one-click buy.
253
00:13:56,780 --> 00:14:00,070
We could buy her a present.
It is George Washington's birthday.
254
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,910
It's not his birthday.
I know, I know, I know.
255
00:14:01,940 --> 00:14:03,230
I'll buy her one present.
256
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,310
Something small. Not that.
257
00:14:05,340 --> 00:14:06,990
See you later.
258
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:08,390
Mm! Kss!
259
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,670
Yes, X! Kss! Kss!
260
00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:11,790
Good girl.
261
00:14:11,820 --> 00:14:15,510
He changes nappies, erm,
does fresh air, cooks.
262
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:17,510
You know, Ben loves him.
263
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:20,220
Er, he does really love the kids.
264
00:14:21,420 --> 00:14:24,460
Erm, I'm just not sure about me.
265
00:14:25,820 --> 00:14:27,830
Do you think there's someone else?
266
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,540
I don't know.
Er, emotionally, probably, yep.
267
00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,630
You think he wants to leave?
268
00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:37,190
No. But, you know, for the kids.
269
00:14:37,220 --> 00:14:40,620
You know, poor little Si,
from his own broken home.
270
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:43,110
I think he'd go to pieces,
271
00:14:43,140 --> 00:14:47,550
he'd probably end up drinking
himself to death in a shitty bedsit,
272
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:49,870
but, you know,
I'd still worry about him.
273
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:53,590
Erm, you know, and clearly
it's in the best interests
274
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,710
of three of the four of us
275
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,300
to stay together as a family.
276
00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:00,700
But what about you?
277
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:06,190
Some time off Rosie -
and Si - would be nice,
278
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:11,190
erm, but even more lonely,
erm, and boring.
279
00:15:11,220 --> 00:15:14,270
You know, I'm not really a catch,
am I?
280
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:18,190
A middle-aged housewife
with a severely disabled child.
281
00:15:18,220 --> 00:15:20,580
Form an orderly queue, gentlemen.
282
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:29,660
Mm.
283
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:32,750
Mm-mm.
284
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:35,270
No, Rosie, no, not Christmas tree.
285
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,590
Hey, guys.
President's Day. Washington.
286
00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:39,020
George Washington.
287
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,670
Don't be long, cos Grandma
and Gandalf are coming soon,
288
00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:43,836
to celebrate President's Day.
289
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,630
Do I get any presidents?
290
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:48,310
Do what your mum says,
whatever it was.
291
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:50,190
Oh, wow.
292
00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:51,670
Ooh, what's this one?
293
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,270
That is Washington...
294
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:55,310
signing the Constitution
in Pennsylvania.
295
00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:58,230
You really know how to get
a party started.
296
00:15:58,260 --> 00:16:00,190
Hello! Hi.
297
00:16:01,940 --> 00:16:02,950
Hello. Hey!
298
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:08,750
Well, what a lovely surprise!
299
00:16:08,780 --> 00:16:10,710
I told you everyone was coming.
300
00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:11,780
Rosie... Mumma.
301
00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,990
Daddy. Ben.
302
00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,230
Guh-guh.
303
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,710
Oh! That's so clever!
304
00:16:17,740 --> 00:16:19,590
And...
305
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:20,660
Grandma.
306
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,830
Well, President's Day
looks like a lot of fun.
307
00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,630
Oh, what's this?
308
00:16:26,660 --> 00:16:28,390
I'll need me specs to look at this.
309
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:29,630
Kss!
310
00:16:29,660 --> 00:16:31,140
Oh, dildo. No!
311
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:35,630
Oh, that's...
Oh, it's just Christmas trees.
312
00:16:35,660 --> 00:16:37,550
No! Rosie,
313
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:38,990
it's not Christmas.
314
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,150
Oh, blooming heck.
315
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:42,830
Oh, what a lovely noise?
316
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:44,670
Rosie, do you want a Christmas tree?
317
00:16:46,180 --> 00:16:47,630
No, Ben!
318
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:49,750
Well, we'll just get...
We could get Steve McManaman,
319
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:52,630
put it in that corner.
320
00:16:52,660 --> 00:16:54,150
It looks like Steve McManaman.
321
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,390
Rosie, do you want to come
and get the tinsel from upstairs
322
00:16:57,420 --> 00:16:59,870
and decorate it,
like in the picture?
323
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,270
? On the first day of Christmas,
my true love...
324
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:03,950
It'll be fine.
It'll make her happy.
325
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,230
Who knows, maybe George Washington
loved Christmas.
326
00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:08,060
He literally didn't.
You don't know that.
327
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,550
Christmas Day 1750,
his house burnt down.
328
00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:19,070
Christmas Day, er, 1753, er,
he was wounded in a fight in, quote,
329
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,310
"Murdering Town".
330
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,710
You're cherry-picking these.
He died at Christmas, Si.
331
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,830
It says here he died a week before.
332
00:17:25,860 --> 00:17:28,030
Well, I imagine it still
ruined Christmas.
333
00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:33,150
Oh, well,
334
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:34,590
isn't that pretty?
335
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,190
Would you like your president now?
336
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:40,310
Na-na!
337
00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:42,390
Oh!
338
00:17:42,420 --> 00:17:43,790
Mm.
339
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:45,670
And then it's homework before tea.
340
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,710
And do you guys want to
stay for a bite to eat?
341
00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:49,230
Er, a little.
We have to get back.
342
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:51,100
Kath's made one of her flans.
343
00:17:52,660 --> 00:17:55,150
And when your mum told me
about President's Day,
344
00:17:55,180 --> 00:17:58,030
I picked up a few little things.
345
00:17:58,060 --> 00:18:00,340
That's for Rosie.
346
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,260
Ben. Thanks, Grandma.
347
00:18:04,980 --> 00:18:08,230
Mum... I just bought you some wine.
348
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:10,950
And Em, a John Lewis voucher.
349
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,460
We haven't got you anything.
350
00:18:15,620 --> 00:18:17,830
Bloody hell. This is crackers.
351
00:18:19,780 --> 00:18:21,860
Dad, why would you say crackers?
352
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,100
Eh.
353
00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:28,590
No, Rosie,
we're not having that sort of tea.
354
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:31,670
We're having hot dogs for,
for President's Day.
355
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,990
Oh, crikey, it goes right through
you that noise, doesn't it?
356
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:38,110
We could, Em,
we could always get Rosie...
357
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:39,670
Christmas dinner.
358
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,710
Rosie has Pizza Express
dough balls for Christmas.
359
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:46,070
Mm. Well, we could, er, we could go
out and, and get some of them.
360
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,030
No need. We've got a packet
from the supermarket
361
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,310
and I kept a dough balls
box from Pizza Express.
362
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,910
Just heat them up, I'll nip
outside for a couple of minutes,
363
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,710
pretend I'm picking them up.
No bother.
364
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:56,870
Mm. Mm-mm.
365
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:59,510
So I think it's called a plie,
isn't it?
366
00:18:59,540 --> 00:19:01,790
When you go down... Oh, hey.
367
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:04,150
Oh, hi Chris.
368
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:05,510
Oh, Ellie, you look nice.
369
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:07,510
Yeah, Dad Taxis again.
370
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,950
Someone's got themselves
cast in the school ballet.
371
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:11,020
Hey.
372
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:15,790
Sorry, I'm hiding from Rosie.
373
00:19:15,820 --> 00:19:17,630
She thinks it's Christmas,
374
00:19:17,660 --> 00:19:21,710
so, erm, I'm pretending to get her
some Pizza Express dough balls...
375
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,110
Oh... for her Christmas dinner.
376
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:27,390
You, you don't have any, er,
crackers left?
377
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:30,300
Er, maybe,
in the back room, yeah.
378
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,630
That's probably enough time.
379
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,700
Yeah. Excuse me.
380
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,950
I, I'm sorry about the other day,
in the park, with Rosie,
381
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,140
with the fun run, erm...
Did you win?
382
00:19:45,820 --> 00:19:46,940
Yeah, well, seventh.
383
00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:58,310
? Happy birthday, Mr President,
384
00:19:58,340 --> 00:20:02,350
? Happy birthday to you.
385
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:04,310
Christ, Marilyn Monroe's
gone downhill.
386
00:20:04,340 --> 00:20:06,630
And it's not his birthday.
She's eating her unicorn.
387
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:08,470
That's definitely not
going to be good luck.
388
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:11,310
Take that out of your mouth,
because Daddy has been all the way
389
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,470
to Pizza Express
to get you some dough balls!
390
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:18,270
Guh-guh.
Yeah, yes, Daddy.
391
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,030
Humble bread balls.
392
00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,910
Much as they would've
eaten in Bethlehem.
393
00:20:21,940 --> 00:20:23,950
What, with garlic butter?
394
00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,540
It's not Christmas.
395
00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,430
No, we don't have time for Yahtzee,
Rosie. Mm.
396
00:20:30,460 --> 00:20:33,230
Grandma and Gandalf have got to
go home after tea. What's Yahtzee?
397
00:20:33,260 --> 00:20:35,550
We played it last... yule time.
398
00:20:35,580 --> 00:20:37,910
It's a dice game.
All about probability.
399
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,870
But she likes it when you shout,
"Yahtzee!"
400
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,550
Probability, huh!
401
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,750
I think I'll leave that
to Professor Brainbox.
402
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:47,390
Don't forget you've got homework,
Ben.
403
00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,350
Do you want a lift to the station
after tea, Mum?
404
00:20:49,380 --> 00:20:50,390
Oh, wow!
405
00:20:52,660 --> 00:20:53,670
Erm...
406
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:55,910
Ho-ho-ho, Rosie!
407
00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:59,470
Who wants a cracker?
408
00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,190
OK, OK, OK, OK...
409
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:04,150
You have got to be
fucking kidding me.
410
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:07,590
Sorry, it's just that Simon told me
how much Rosie likes Christmas,
411
00:21:07,620 --> 00:21:10,790
so, erm... And I've got this till
Wednesday, so I thought...
412
00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:32,350
Her dietician sent through
a new nutrition plan.
413
00:21:32,380 --> 00:21:35,460
Think we should operationalise
it next week.
414
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:38,630
What's that face for?
415
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:39,860
Nothing.
416
00:21:41,540 --> 00:21:43,550
Operationalise it? You mean do it.
417
00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:45,550
It's just words. I know.
418
00:21:45,580 --> 00:21:47,590
It's just like being
in an HR meeting.
419
00:21:47,620 --> 00:21:48,660
Oh, whatever.
420
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:53,780
Just try smiling, for fuck's sake.
421
00:22:05,740 --> 00:22:07,350
Yeah,
422
00:22:07,380 --> 00:22:09,630
yeah, you go and, go and smoke
on your garden furniture.
423
00:22:09,660 --> 00:22:12,430
You do get how pathetic that is,
don't you?
424
00:22:12,460 --> 00:22:14,550
You're like a tramp
who lives in a house.
425
00:22:14,580 --> 00:22:18,270
Well, you wanted me home in the
evening for the kids, and I am.
426
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:21,150
Yeah, you come home,
but you're not here.
427
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:22,220
You're just off...
428
00:22:23,500 --> 00:22:25,030
texting another woman
429
00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:27,070
about fuck knows what.
430
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,270
Eh? Don't bring Helen into this.
Why not?
431
00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:32,030
When was the last time you sent me
a text longer than two words?
432
00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:35,630
Why do you spend hours outside,
433
00:22:35,660 --> 00:22:36,740
texting her?
434
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:40,780
Because she's a laugh,
and it's an escape from all this.
435
00:22:42,580 --> 00:22:45,340
Well, if you want an escape,
Si, go ahead.
436
00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:47,830
If you want to split up, fine.
437
00:22:47,860 --> 00:22:50,150
Oh, Jesus, now you want a divorce?
438
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,590
I don't know.
439
00:22:51,620 --> 00:22:54,550
I used to wonder
if you didn't love me any more.
440
00:22:54,580 --> 00:22:55,870
Now you don't even like me.
441
00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,550
No, no, no, no, you want a divorce.
442
00:22:57,580 --> 00:22:59,270
Don't lay all that on me, Emily.
443
00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:01,510
Just look at yourself,
cos you're so cold.
444
00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:04,270
Oh, I'm cold?
Yeah, you're cold!
445
00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,550
YOU look at yourself.
446
00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:07,830
Nothing,
447
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:11,230
NOTHING about the way you treat me,
448
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,790
right now, inspires warmth!
449
00:23:13,820 --> 00:23:15,430
No. Bullshit, bullshit!
450
00:23:15,460 --> 00:23:18,230
You've always been cold
ever since the first time
451
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:21,510
I ever went back to your house in
Birmingham, way back, like, in 1992.
452
00:23:21,540 --> 00:23:24,470
I will never forget,
we sat there eating pizza,
453
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:27,430
while you were reading
the Littlewoods catalogue.
454
00:23:27,460 --> 00:23:28,750
You're weird.
455
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:30,870
I'm weird now?
456
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:32,110
What about you?
457
00:23:32,140 --> 00:23:34,350
You're the one who got so arseholed,
surprise-surprise,
458
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:36,270
I woke up in the middle of the night
459
00:23:36,300 --> 00:23:39,510
and found you pissing
down the middle of my bedside lamp!
460
00:23:39,540 --> 00:23:43,110
One time. Yeah, the next time was
in that shitty hotel in York.
461
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:46,270
You pissing again, only this
time on the fucking Gideon Bible!
462
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,990
Oh, I'm sorry, did that mean you had
nothing to read over breakfast?
463
00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:52,390
Yeah, and for your information,
it wasn't the Littlewoods catalogue,
464
00:23:52,420 --> 00:23:54,270
it was the Argos catalogue!
465
00:23:57,260 --> 00:24:00,350
Why were you reading
an Argos catalogue?
466
00:24:00,380 --> 00:24:03,510
Because I, I had to read when I ate,
467
00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:04,660
because I'm weird.
468
00:24:05,740 --> 00:24:06,780
Fucking nutcase!
469
00:24:08,020 --> 00:24:09,350
Why did you piss on a Bible?
470
00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:10,830
Hey,
471
00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:14,430
you looked at me and thought,
"I'm going to marry that man."
472
00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:17,550
And we spent all those nights
473
00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:20,270
drinking, and listening to REM,
474
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:23,670
and playing
Warlock Of Firetop Mountain.
475
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:25,710
God, we were so sad.
476
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:27,420
No, Si, we were happy.
477
00:24:30,540 --> 00:24:32,710
Why can't we be those people again?
478
00:24:32,740 --> 00:24:33,780
We can.
479
00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:39,140
We can. It's just,
it's just there's four of us now.
480
00:24:41,140 --> 00:24:43,550
Just come home, Si.
481
00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:45,020
Come home properly.
482
00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:50,860
Lady Divine by Alela Diane
483
00:24:54,420 --> 00:24:55,910
? When the day
484
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:59,180
? When the day falls to the line
485
00:25:00,460 --> 00:25:07,030
? At the end, oh, the end of my town
486
00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:12,510
? I call to the dark
487
00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:15,820
? "Take the bones off my back"...
488
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:20,430
We don't actually have to
keep playing Yahtzee any more.
489
00:25:20,460 --> 00:25:22,750
I put Home Alone on for her
about half an hour ago.
490
00:25:22,780 --> 00:25:25,276
Well, we need to finish the game.
Come on, Dad, it's your throw.
491
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:26,540
What about your report?
492
00:25:27,620 --> 00:25:29,500
Lighten up, Si!
493
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,990
It's fake Christmas.
494
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:35,190
Sorry, Mum, I think I might've drunk
too much to drop you at the station.
495
00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:37,310
It's all right.
We can just stay over.
496
00:25:37,340 --> 00:25:38,380
Oh...
497
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:44,550
You got a Yahtzee!
498
00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:45,870
Oh! Whoa! Yahtzee!
499
00:25:45,900 --> 00:25:48,390
Yahtzee! Oh, blimey.
500
00:25:48,420 --> 00:25:50,180
Does that mean I've won? Is it over?
501
00:25:51,780 --> 00:25:52,910
No.
502
00:25:52,940 --> 00:25:55,180
We should get Rosie,
to show her the Yahtzee.
503
00:25:56,740 --> 00:25:59,990
She's very quiet.
Yes, it is a bit late.
504
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:03,540
Maybe we should put her to bed,
before we finish the game. Right.
505
00:26:10,220 --> 00:26:12,750
Oh, what? Oh, Rosie!
506
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:14,510
Mm?
507
00:26:18,860 --> 00:26:21,550
Oh! Oh, crikey!
508
00:26:21,580 --> 00:26:23,550
Well, that's going to take
some clearing up.
509
00:26:23,580 --> 00:26:26,590
Yes, Rosie! Clever girl!
510
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,070
Is it snowing?
511
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:29,140
Like in Home Alone?
512
00:26:30,660 --> 00:26:32,660
Like at Christmas!
513
00:26:44,140 --> 00:26:45,180
Hey.
514
00:26:49,780 --> 00:26:51,350
Hi.
515
00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:53,470
Hiya. How was your day?
516
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,660
Awesome.
517
00:26:56,620 --> 00:26:58,100
Probably better than yours.
518
00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:00,580
Are you going to shout?
519
00:27:03,820 --> 00:27:05,900
Oh, darling, come here.
520
00:27:08,020 --> 00:27:09,740
Come here, it's all right.
521
00:27:10,780 --> 00:27:12,940
No more shouting, I promise. OK?
522
00:27:14,460 --> 00:27:19,110
You and Mum and Rosie are the most
important people in the world, yeah?
523
00:27:19,140 --> 00:27:20,350
Nothing else matters.
524
00:27:20,380 --> 00:27:25,420
Family makes me
as happy as winning the league.
525
00:27:27,300 --> 00:27:30,220
Everything else is just
goal difference.
526
00:27:31,460 --> 00:27:32,700
Didn't we lose on that?
527
00:27:35,180 --> 00:27:37,070
Yeah, once, yeah.
528
00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:39,310
Arsenal beat Liverpool,
goal difference,
529
00:27:39,340 --> 00:27:40,950
'88-'89, but don't ruin it, mate.
530
00:27:40,980 --> 00:27:43,190
I was proud of that analogy.
531
00:27:43,220 --> 00:27:45,030
If we're being accurate,
532
00:27:45,060 --> 00:27:48,590
'88-'89, Arsenal and Liverpool
were level on goal difference.
533
00:27:48,620 --> 00:27:50,310
Arsenal won on goals scored.
534
00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:51,860
Oh, my God, you're such a nerd.
535
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:54,990
Just the facts.
536
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:56,500
They're sport facts.
537
00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:04,350
I need to be at work.
538
00:28:04,380 --> 00:28:06,670
Why? It's Boxing Day.
539
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:07,950
Why am I doing all this?
540
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:09,270
Because...
541
00:28:09,300 --> 00:28:11,350
you made it be Christmas.
542
00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:13,270
Mm. Dear God, no.
543
00:28:13,300 --> 00:28:16,070
Rosie, President's Day
was yesterday.
544
00:28:16,100 --> 00:28:17,270
Mm.
545
00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:18,310
Yesterday.
546
00:28:18,340 --> 00:28:19,350
Mm!
547
00:28:19,380 --> 00:28:22,310
Rosie, President's Day
was yesterday.
548
00:28:22,340 --> 00:28:24,070
Mm! Yesterday!
549
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:25,950
Mm!
550
00:28:25,980 --> 00:28:28,070
She Moves In Her Own Way
by The Kooks
551
00:28:28,100 --> 00:28:29,750
? Well, uh-oh, oh, I love her
552
00:28:29,780 --> 00:28:33,510
? Because she moves in her own way
553
00:28:33,540 --> 00:28:35,030
? But, uh-oh, whoa,
554
00:28:35,060 --> 00:28:36,750
? She came to my show
555
00:28:36,780 --> 00:28:39,870
? Just to hear about my day
556
00:28:39,900 --> 00:28:42,310
? Oh, uh-oh, whoa, I love her
557
00:28:42,340 --> 00:28:45,910
? Because she moves in her own way
558
00:28:45,940 --> 00:28:47,590
? Oh, uh-oh, oh
559
00:28:47,620 --> 00:28:49,190
? She came to my show
560
00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:51,860
? Just to hear about my day.
561
00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:56,460
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40057
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
