Original subtitles

[ Upbeat music plays ]

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[ "Jingle Bells" plays on Xylophone ]

No, no, too Christmas-y.

Too birthday-ish.

Too morbid.[ Upbeat tone plays ]

Oh. That'll do.

[ Upbeat tone plays]

Attention, everybody!

We are being joined by a new student today.

Now, he's previously been homeschooled,

so he's bound to be a little self-conscious

about his possible bizarre behavior

or total lack of social skills.

We should not stare at him, point,

or draw attention to him in any way.

So will Peter Pepperoni please come to my office?

Actually, I probably should've just said that last bit.

Oh, well, never mind. Just style it out, Nigel.

[ Upbeat tone plays ]

Homeschooling sounds great!

You'd be the most popular kid in school.

Yeah, and when you think about it,

the least popular kid in school.

Remember when Mr. Dad tried to homeschool us?

78 plus 39 plus 14 plus 62 plus 51 is...

Oh! Spring rolls, egg-fried rice,

sweet-and-sour pork, kung pao chicken, and chow mein.

Correct.Yeah, if we'd stuck with that,

I'd have a doctor in takeout menus by now

and a serious weight problem.

Ah, boys, if I might have a quick word?

It's the new boy.

I don't understand a single word he's saying.

Maybe it's slang.Ah, yes.

Slang, which of course

is also slang... for "slanguage."

Well, I can see why you came to us.

You want a pair of guys down with the streets,

just a couple of cool dudes who are so confident

in their fashion choices they haven't changed

their outfits in six years.

Leave it to us. We're... [Sizzles]

Dude, no, that means smoking hot.

No, it means cool.

My finger is cooling things down.

Anyway, he's your problem now. So just show Peter around.

I have some very important schoolwork to attend to.

[ Upbeat tone plays ]

So, Peter, what do you want to do first?

Well, wherever round cool once open the canteen there,

locker the hunger sandwich and maybe some ketchup?

[ Classical music plays ]

Is school nice to be in on in. Maybe lots of maybe people here?

Is the fun always on, or is the fun not?

Uh, sorry. I didn't quite catch that.

One more time?

[ Laughs ] What I was, I said.

Excuse me?Sorry. Could you repeat that please?

Uh, wh-what?Run that by me again.

Could you maybe spell that for me?Say what?

-Little slower. -Huh?

-What? -What now?

-I beg your pardon. -Er...

-What?! -Er...

-Uh... -Wait!

-I... -No.

-Ah! -Um...

-[ Sighs ] -I think I got it!

Are you saying you want to grease a stanking leopard

at the hacky-sack convention?

I was saying just now there's too much of it.

[ Chuckles ] Am I right?

Are "weeze" friendly close?

Uh...

Catch a catch?

Dude, I have no idea --"Everyboth," catch a potato!

Okay, it's been two days now,

and I have no idea what that guy is saying,

and there's no way I can ask him to repeat himself again.

You don't have to.

We just play back what he's been saying and listen to it.

How? I've been wearing a wire this whole time.

Darwin, wearing a wire means wearing a microphone.

That's just a piece of the fence.

Note to self -- connect wire to something.

Why don't we just smile at him and nod along

with whatever it is he's saying?

Well, that wouldn't be honest with him or ourselves,

but on the plus side, it is the easiest way out of things.

Okay, cool. When you're weighing things,

isn't the heavier thing better?

No, the lighter one is best.

When would you ever want the lighter one of anything?

A summer coat? A soufflé? A case of chicken pox?

Whatever. We'll just nod along to whatever he says.

I mean, it's got to be easier than what we're doing now.

[ Video game music plays ]

[ Doorbell rings ]

Hey, guys. I mean, I here. Just wanna play this now?

[ Both whimper ]Dalay!

And if you skip one little thang, that's all you needa go.

[ Video game chimes ]

Ah, I get don winner before.

But never just life lesson first.

Okay, so it's been all three, two movies on TV,

but now is time for four!

[ Both whimper ]

Of course is keeping in coordinate the first side,

then the edge, and the edge-piece corner,

which is triple because down on the box.

Piece... piece...

Ah, you! Uh, can I believe in?

A penny of history, golden brown.

Dude, if my smile gets any bigger,

I'll bankrupt myself on toothpaste.

That's nothing! I've been nodding so much

I've developed a six-pack -- here.

I say we get out of here before my neck

gets scouted for a football scholarship.

Besides, I've been clawing a hole in the floor with my feet.

So we can escape?No, just 'cause I was really bored.

But, yeah, I guess we can use it for that.

[ Grunts ]

I feel kind of bad, Gumball. Yeah.

Even though we just crawled through 20 feet of sewage water,

that's not what's making me feel dirty.

Yeah, he's new, and he only wanted to make friends.

We should go back. Okay.

But no more smiling and nodding

and agreeing to stuff we don't understand.

That's the spirit.Oh, hello!

You must be Gumball and Darwin.

Huh? Oh, yeah! Hi.

You must be Peter's parents.

Oh, he's mentioned us?

[ Ting! ]Probably.

We are so thrilled that Peter's finally found some friends

that speak the same language.

We do? And he's so excited that you said you're up

for coming along tonight.We did?

I mean, I'm not surprised.

You guys are inseparable these days.

What is it you call yourselves.

Uh... not "The Three Musketeers," no.

Uh... something like "The Three Amigos"?

Uh... aw, cheesecakes. What is it, sweetheart?

Pete's saying it all the time. The three...

The three...

guys?

That's it! That's it!

Ah, he's some funny fellow, hey?

Well, he's definitely got a way with words.

Buddies! After do time of meeting!

Oh, "Petey," you're the one that's late.

Your buddies were on time.

Petercorbs!

Forgot totally the seconds, the mistakes.

Hey, don't worry. We totally understand.

-We do? -Well, you coming, or what?

-Ah! -Here we go again.

So, what's your head size? Let's see.

Okay, so that's one small

and one extra-extra- extra-extra-extra large.

Oh. That was pretty insensitive.

Are you okay? I'm fine.

I'm totally cool with people saying how big your head is.

Perhaps she's buying us party hats.

Yeah! It must be Peter's birthday!

Oh, but we haven't got him anything.

Maybe we can improvise something.

What you got in your pockets?

Something that swam into my pants

when we were in the sewer, and now I'm too afraid to look.

Let's put that in the "maybe" pile.

Okey-cokey. Here we are at the Town Hall.

[ Tires screech ]

There you go.

See? It is party hats!

Woolen ones. How very warm.

No, sweetie. They're not party hats.

[ Dramatic music plays ]

It still could be his birthday.

Who'd hold a kid's party at the Town Hall?

I don't know.

Maybe instead of a clown tripping over his long shoes,

there's a democratically elected official

making minor administrative errors?

♪♪

[ Whistles ]

[ Alarm blaring ]

[ People coughing ]

Dude, I knew something was weird.

Party hats only come in one size!

That's all you think is weird?

Not the ski masks or grappling hooks?

♪♪

Well, we should've at least got him a card.

Darwin, I don't think --[ Car doors open ]

[ Truck engine starts ]

[ Engine revving ]

[ Tires squealing ]

Happy birthday to --

[ Screams ]

[ Thud, metal scrapping ]

Aah!

[ Spits ] This one's mine.

Aw, I could've sworn that window was open.

[ Siren wailing ]

[ Tires squealing ]

What is going on here?!

Oh, I thought Peter explained all this to you?

Yeah, he might've!

Well, we know you boys share our views.

Peter's always saying how you agree with him

on practically everything.

About what?About the government.

The government?Aw, the government!

Don't get me started on the government

with their endless forms and their red tape!

[ Grunts, screams ]

Oh, it's the next left, honey.

[ Tires squealing ]

[ Siren wailing ]

Hygiene-violation order?

I guess serving hot dogs in my underwear

for six years was gonna catch up with me one day.

♪♪

"Construction permit denied"?

[ Crash ]

Wow. They work fast.

[ Engines revving ]

Eviction notice? Aw, come on.

I don't even have a house.

Littering?! Aw.

But what did the -- Aah!

What did the government ever do to you?

Always telling us what to do and what not to do?!

You can't take your son out of school,

you can't teach him at home, you can't teach him how to speak.

Do I look like I can't teach my own son how to speak properly?

[ Both panicking ]

I'm glad you guys share our views.

[ Siren wailing ]

Our marriage certificate?

[ Gasps ] It's going up in flames!

[ Siren wailing ]

Yep. Any minute now.

♪♪

Aha! Oh.

Thanks, honey.

♪♪

Okay, so I've removed the license plates,

put the fake ones on, wiped everything down for prints,

and I found some candies in the glove box.

Who wants one?For the love of Mike,

will someone tell me what's going on here?!

And, yes, I will be having one of those candies.

Once these records are destroyed,

the people of Elmore will able to live like we do.

Freely, without the GOVERNMENT telling them what to do.

[ Sirens wailing, tires screeching ]

Donut Cop: Step away from the vehicle!

Are you telling me what to do?!

Yes! Step away!

Whatever you say, Uncle Sam.

♪♪

[ Explosion ]

You're under arrest.

♪♪

Officers!

Please, do not judge these actions

in facts of one or both or all,

but understand that it's not the deed or even the doer that is,

for was Benjamim Washington Abrams

who liberty said that they do but do not sometimes,

and if so, two in the bush and one not free stone.

So I ask, please, my old lady and father to not to them,

but to our societies, and no independences,

but for America!

I don't know what he's saying, but it's beautiful.

Yeah. And I'll be jiggered if I'm writing all that down

for evidence, so you're off the hook

'cause that's how the law works.

Oh, and all those files you destroyed,

they're all on the Internet anyway.

Bye!

Both: What on the flat Earth is the Internet?

I'll let Peter explain.

Well, the intersna--

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