Original subtitles

(coffee pot boils)

(audience laughs)

- Okay, coming, coming.

There, I made it.

I think I set a new indoor record.

And good morning and how about a cup of coffee for you?

You are looking at the city editor's pride and joy.

Up at the crack of dawn, prepared

to face fire, famine, civil uprising.

Of course, today it's a beauty contest.

Hey look, why don't you come along with me?

I can sneak you in on my press pass.

You know, I don't know how it is up there on Mars

but down here on Earth it isn't everyday you get

to interview 20 beautiful bikinis.

Uh, girls.

(audience laughs)

You alright?

Uncle Martin, what's the matter?

- Silabalt.

- Is it serious?

- Non-magnetic atomic weight, 43.50.

- What?

- I've been analyzing the table

of atomic matter and decided on silabalt.

Heat-resistant metal, high tensile strength.

Exactly what I need to repair my spaceship.

- Oh, that's nice but what are you gonna do--

- Of course it hasn't been invented yet, here on earth.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, well I'm sorry we're so backward, here on earth.

- Well that's alright.

It's simply a matter of splitting the silicon atom

and the cobalt atom and then fusing them into silabalt.

- Naturally.

- First I'll make a cyclotron.

- An atom smasher?

- Uh huh, use a few pods from the spaceship

and pick up a few odds and ends

here and there. - No, now wait.

Now just one second.

Do you mean to tell me you intend

to build a cyclotron here, in my kitchen?

- Just a teeny weeny one.

(audience laughs)

(coffee pot boils)

- Oh, shut up.

You're being replaced by a cyclotron.

(audience laughs)

(helmet beeps)

(helmet beeps)

(orchestral music)

(light orchestral music)

Yes. (loud buzzing)

Yeah, I'm listening, Mr Burns.

What kind of a story?

Oh, human interest story.

Just one second, Mr Burns, I can't hear you.

(audience laughs)

What?

(audience laughs)

He's where?

(audience laughs)

When?

Mr Burns, I'm sorry but I just can't hear you.

Uh huh.

(audience laughs)

Oh, oh, yeah, I see.

Well that's fine.

Well thanks for the assignment, Mr Burns.

(loud buzzing stops) That sounds

like a real good story!

(audience laughs)

Oh, I'm sorry Mr Burns, I,

I didn't mean to shout.

(loud buzzing) I said I didn't mean to shout!

(audience laughs)

I didn't mean to shout!

(audience laughs)

Yeah, alright Mr Burns, I'll get right on it!

Yeah!

How's your popcorn machine coming, Uncle Martin?

(audience laughs)

- The magnetic field stabilizer's working beautifully

but the resonance acceleration ...

If only I had a few thousand more volts.

- Oh no, now you just remember

what the power and light company said.

Last night the city was blacked out for one full mile

and six electric buses stopped dead.

- Accidents will happen.

(audience laughs)

Especially when one is forced to work

with such a primitive power source.

- Why don't you just get away from this machine for a while?

Now, I have to go to the university

and interview a child prodigy.

It might be very interesting for you.

Why don't you come along?

Is the youngest student in the university.

13 years old, physics major, IQ of 190.

- On Mars, he would be considered retarded.

(audience laughs)

(loud buzzing) - Okay, Uncle Martin.

Okay, I'll leave you in your laboratory

soon as I get a cold drink!

(audience laughs)

Well that's just peachy.

The refrigerator's shot and what's it doing out here anyway?

- Well I borrowed a relay for my project.

- So what's to keep the food from,

what's to keep the food from spoiling?

- I'll replace it.

I wouldn't want this scientific experiment

to deprive you of ice cubes.

I construct a perfectly good cyclotron,

the only one on this planet with reversible magnetic fields,

and my sole source of power is a 110 volt wall plug.

It could only happen on earth.

- Well, I'm sorry you can't join me at the university.

I understand they have a new cyclotron out there.

Half a million volts.

But, like you said, you're busy.

- Half a million volts. (laughs)

- I'll see you later.

- Half a million volts.

(audience laughs) Tim!

- Yes?

- I'm going with you.

One hour with that machine

and I'll have all the silabalt I need.

- No kidding.

- I'm just about finished with the refrigerator.

- I'll wait for you in the car.

(light orchestral music)

(audience laughs)

(car engine stutters)

Well my fun-loving city editor is never gonna believe this.

It won't start.

- Oh, I borrowed the coil from your engine this morning.

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

- Well, this is the science building.

Now all we have to do is find Dr Jackson's office.

Locked.

- 200 ton cyclotron indeed.

Talk about primitive power.

(audience laughs)

On Mars we'd use that to mix our malted milk.

(audience laughs)

However ...

- Well, there's nothing--

Uncle Martin?

Now, come on Uncle Martin, this is no time

to pull that disappearing act.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

(audience laughs)

Uncle Martin?

(audience laughs)

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

I'm just looking for my uncle.

- Well I can assure you I'm not your uncle.

(audience laughs)

- Oh yes, ah yeah, I can see that.

I mean, I was looking for Dr Jackson and he's disappeared.

Not Dr Jackson, my uncle.

Look, do I sound confused to you?

- Thoroughly.

- Oh that's good because I sound confused to me too.

- May I help you?

- Yes.

I mean I'm looking for Dr Jackson.

Oh, well, then you must be--

- Yes, I'm Dr Jackson's assistant, Janine Carter.

Dr Jackson stepped out for a moment.

(audience laughs)

(loud buzzing)

(audience laughs)

- Good afternoon.

- Can I help you?

- Uh, don't worry.

I'm not here to repossess your apparatus.

(audience laughs)

- You from the police?

- No.

- Faculty?

- Do I look like faculty?

- Yes.

- I resent that.

(audience laughs)

My name is Martin.

- I suppose you think that puts me under some sort

of obligation to give you mine?

- Yours is Mumford, Donald Allen.

Newly acquired student 77601

and your home is Lompoc, California.

- You are faculty.

- Now what do I have to do to convince you

that I'm not an instructor?

Write on the wall, "I hate teacher."

(audience laughs)

- Don't touch.

- Oh, sorry.

- Why are you here?

- Well you might say that I'm connected with a newspaper.

- I have no statement to make to the press

at this stage of my experiment.

- Cyclotron?

- Mmhmm.

- Use a magnetic accelerator?

- They usually do.

(audience laughs)

- Quite an advanced resonance adaptor.

- You know what that is?

- Oh, hobby of mine.

I've always been interested in atomic structure.

- This is the only cyclotron in existence

with reversible magnetic fields.

- Uh huh, then I suppose you could bombard both the proton

and neutron at the same instant?

- Mmhmm.

You see, then I could split the most difficult of atoms.

However, it's a very complex theory.

I doubt if you could follow me.

(audience laughs)

- Well, I'm doing my very best.

(audience laughs)

- Just a minute, I have a power problem.

It won't listen.

- Who won't listen?

- University.

University won't let me near their high power equipment.

- Very short-sighted of them.

(orchestral music)

If I could get, say, 7000 volts for you,

would you consider combining

two radically different elements?

- What atomic weights?

- 58.94.

- Cobalt, and?

- 26.09.

- Silicon.

Cobalt and silicon.

Very interesting combination.

We could call the new element silabalt.

- I prefer that to cocon,

which really sounds like a new soft drink.

(audience laughs)

- That's a marvelous experiment.

How soon can you deliver power?

- Oh, about any time now.

- 7000 volts?

- 7000.

- 8000?

- 8000.

- 9000?

- Sold to the highest bidder.

9000 volts it is.

(audience laughs)

- Miss Carter, I know how you feel about

that boy but I was right, you cannot run a kindergarten

and a university at the same time.

I was against it from the start.

Putting a 13 year old boy in with 20 year olds

but now he's done it.

- Mumford?

- Yes, Mumford, and this time it's serious.

Who are you?

- Oh, this is Mr O'Hara, Dr Jackson.

He's here to talk to Donald.

- Not the FBI?

- No, Los Angeles Sun reporting.

- Oh, well young man, you can put in your story

that I gave Donald Mumford very chance.

Didn't I, Miss Carter?

Did I take offense when he questioned

my atomic fusion theory?

No.

Or when he called me a pre-Cambrian haploid

in front of the entire class.

- A pre-Cambrian haploid?

- Yes, that's an ancient non-thinking organism.

I looked it up.

I made every allowance for Mumford

but this, this is too much.

- What, Dr Jackson?

- 14 parts of the new cyclotron, gone.

Don't you print that.

- No, 14 parts, no.

- I'm going to catch this young man

if I have to turn this campus upside down.

- Well we don't know for sure it was Donald.

- Sure, it could've been any old cyclotron thief.

- How else but Mumford would abscond the cyclotron coils,

magnetic accelerators or rheostats?

Can you think of anyone else who would dare?

- No, no, no I can't.

I mean, no.

(audience laughs)

No.

- Vibration level minimal.

- Acceleration constant.

- Oscillation perfect.

- Vibration minor.

- Agitation slight.

- Velocity stable.

(Uncle Martin laughs)

What's so funny?

- We sound like two neurosurgeons on television.

(audience laughs)

- This is a vital experiment.

- Sorry doctor.

(audience laughs)

- Would Dr Jackson be surprised

if he knew about this cyclotron?

- I dare say he would.

- You know Mr Howard, I must admit

you are remarkably progressive for an adult.

No old fashioned theories.

You're well down to Earth.

- Only lately, Donal, only lately.

(audience laughs)

- Oh! - Oh, I'm sorry.

(audience laughs)

- This is getting to be a habit.

I haven't seen him anywhere.

- Yeah, I haven't had any luck either.

Well look, why don't we just sit down

and think this thing out?

- It looks pretty discouraging, doesn't it?

You know, it was awfully nice of you to try,

especially for a boy you don't even know.

- Janine, look, I'm afraid that you

and I are looking for two different people.

- Two different people?

- Yes, you're looking for Donald.

I'm looking for my uncle.

- That's right, you said before

that you were looking for your uncle.

- Ya oh.

- What?

- I must find this boy.

- Looks like Dr Jackson's called out the reserves.

- Murdoch, you go down that way and look down that way.

And Chamberlain and Jones, you look that way, both of you.

- I'd say we're ready for power.

You promised 9000 volts.

Sure they'll give it to you?

- I think I can arrange it.

(orchestral music)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

- Got a match?

- [Workman] Here, help yourself.

(audience laughs)

- Thanks.

(audience laughs)

(orchestral music)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

(urgent orchestral music)

(audience laughs)

- Have you seen him?

- No sir, I haven't.

- We haven't seen either one of them.

- Either one of whom?

- Uh, either one of them.

Either Donald or Mumford.

(dramatic orchestral music)

(clarinet music)

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

- I can't imagine where he went.

He couldn't just disappear.

- Yeah, well you don't know him like I do.

- What?

- Listen.

(buzzing)

Oh, that sound familiar.

- Sounds like my disposal.

(loud buzzing)

- I'll bet you.

Come on, let's go.

- Done.

- In time.

- All that remains, partner, is

to throw the switch and silabalt.

- Donald.

- Uncle Martin.

- It's nice to be known but if you'll excuse us,

Donald and I are in the middle

of a very important experiment.

- Half of the faculty is looking for that little boy.

- You know this atomic Fagan?

- Miss Carter, he had nothing to do with this.

- Could we discuss this some other time?

- Whatever you're doing, you better quit right now.

- Maybe we can put all this equipment back

before Dr Jackson finds it.

(audience laughs)

I'm telling you, we haven't much time.

- Oh, she's right, Uncle Martin.

We've gotta get out of here!

- Not 'til we finish our experiment.

(loud explosion)

(audience laughs)

I think it's just a coil or maybe the chamber.

- Somebody must've pulled the wrong switch.

(audience laughs)

- Well, it's a good thing Dr Jackson didn't see this.

- Yes, isn't it?

Isn't it just?

(audience laughs)

You have violated every college regulation

and we cannot tolerate this behavior any longer.

We are forced to terminate your studies at the university.

Oh, you're welcome to use your room

in the dormitory until 8am Monday and a detailed report

will of course be sent to your grandparents.

- Yes sir.

Goodbye Miss Carter.

Thanks for everything.

- Goodbye Donald.

- Goodbye Dr Jackson.

- Goodbye Mumford.

- Mr O'Hara.

- Donald.

- Uncle Martin, it's been a privilege working with you.

- It's been a privilege for me, Donald.

- Mr O'Hara, luckily there has been no serious damage

and I'm willing to consider the incident closed

on condition that your uncle

doesn't honor us with a future visit.

- Yes sir.

- Uh, Dr Jackson.

I'm afraid I don't consider the incident closed.

- Uncle Martin.

- Not just yet.

I'm glad to see how far this planet has progressed

in its treatment of bright, inquiring minds.

Not too long ago, young Tom Edison was rewarded

by a cuff on the ear for having new, different ideas.

Of course Donald is rebellious, argumentative,

overeager, but as I remember Pasteur, Edison

and Einstein were all difficult to handle

because they were different.

They dared to think differently.

Try to understand what Donald is going though.

He's alone in a strange world.

Too intelligent to be accepted by other children

and too small to be accepted by adults.

All he needs is a little understanding.

But, of course, I don't suppose that's in the curriculum.

Oh, by the way, you might ask Donald

to look at the university's new cyclotron.

That will prevent it from becoming obsolete

before its built.

Coming, Tim?

- Miss Carter, have Mumford's bags moved

from the dormitory to my home.

- Yes sir.

- Oh and tell Mrs Jackson we're going to have a guest.

- Yes Dr Jackson.

- Uncle Martin.

I was pretty proud of you in there.

- As a matter of fact, so was I.

(audience laughs)

- Mumford!

Mumford! Mumford!

Oh, ho, ho, my boy.

(light orchestral music)

- Uncle Martin.

Surprise, Donald gave this to me.

He found it in the cyclotron.

- Silabalt.

Marvelous.

Now I'll finally be able to repair my spaceship.

Do you realize that this is

the hardest known substance on earth, that is?

- I thought that'd make you happy.

- I do like it, it ...

Uh oh.

- What's the matter?

- How am I going to cut it?

How am I going to shape it?

- All you have to do is make tools harder than silabalt.

- That's all I have to do.

Make tools harder than silabalt.

Yes, but how?

Oh, this backward planet.

I gotta get home!

(audience laughs)

- I'm sorry, Uncle Martin.

(loud buzzing)

(orchestral music)