All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E10.Raffles.No.2.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(mischievous orchestral music)

- Uh, (clearing throat)
what's wrong, officer?

- Well, I'll tell ya.

This parking meter and I
have a working agreement.

When it puts up its little
red flag, I write a ticket.

(audience laughing)

You are over-parked.

(fluttering orchestral music)

(audience laughing)

- Uh, aren't you
being a little hasty?

- If you're trying to
talk a civil servant

out of a sworn duty, you're
talking to the wrong stone wall.

- I was just trying to prevent
a miscarriage of justice.

- Oh, one of those, huh?

Are you gonna stand
there and tell me

that the timer on this
meter is all wrong?

Or that you went to the
store to get some change?

Or your watch stopped and
you lost track of all time?

Well look, Buster.

I know all the answers,
I've heard 'em all.

And as far as I'm
concerned, when that flag

on this meter shows
that you're over-parked,

you are over park.

(audience laughing)

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm really sorry.

- That's alright.

(playful orchestral music)

(beeping)

(suspenseful orchestral music)

(beeping)

(playful instrumental music)

(spirited orchestral music)

So that's when I turned the
minute hand back five minutes.

- Well, your ingenuity may
have saved you two dollars,

but I'm still sorry you
didn't get a ticket.

- Well now, that's
a strange attitude.

I thought that one of
the American past times

was beating traffic tickets.

- That's not what I mean.

- Oh, so we're back
to that again, huh?

- Yes, we're back on that again.

Look Uncle Martin, it's my car

and I'm responsible for
anything that happens to it.

Now, that's why I wish you'd
get a driver's license.

- I have a driver's license.

- I am afraid that the
great state of California

does not have a
reciprocal agreement

with the motor vehicle
bureau on Mars.

- We Martians wouldn't approve
such an agreement, anyway.

- [Tim] Why not?

- The way you people
drive on your freeways?

- When I am on Mars, I will
drive like the Martians.

As long as you're here on Earth,

you had better
drive the way we do.

- Recklessly?
(audience laughing)

- No.
- How?

- With a driver's license.

(spirited orchestral music)

- [DMV Employee] Next.

(tense orchestral music)

(phone ringing)

- O'Hara.

Oh hi, Uncle
Martin, how'd it go?

- Tim, you had a good idea but
it wasn't such a good idea.

(audience laughing)

- Aw come on, Uncle Martin,
I gotta finish this story.

I haven't got time
to kid around.

- Ever since I walked into
the motor vehicle bureau,

I've been having a terrible
fight with my conscience.

- [Tim] I don't follow.

- When they ask me
for a place of birth,

how could I tell them off?

(audience laughing)

Now I know your country accepts
foreigners graciously, but.

- Oh yeah, I hadn't
thought of that.

- There's something else
you didn't think of.

Martians don't
have fingerprints.

(audience laughing)

- Oh, that's right.

But Uncle Martin, couldn't you--

- If you don't get off
that phone, O'Hara,

the noon edition will come
out as the night final.

- Martin, look I gotta
get this story finished,

call me back later, okay?

(crowd chattering)

(tense orchestral music)
(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

- Pardon me.

I am clumsy today.

(audience laughing)

- [DMV Employee] Next.

- Again?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm so busy today, I
don't know what I'm doing.

- That's quite alright,
we all make mistakes.

- [DMV Employee] Thank you.

- Thank you.

- A routine crosscheck of
new driver applications

turns up a print
that matches the only

unidentified print at
the Linington jewel
robbery last year.

- I don't understand.

Why are you telling this to me?

- Because that thumbprint
belongs to Martin O'Hara.

- Martin O'Hara?

You mean Tim O'Hara's uncle?

- Exactly.

Tim was covering the Linington
wedding for your paper

when the jewel robbery
was committed, wasn't he?

- Well yes, but.

- Makes for an interesting
theory, doesn't it?

- Tim O'Hara, no,
I can't believe it.

- Make a great story
for your paper.

Reporter covers
big social event,

turns it into big news event.

Then gets diamond as bonus.

- Well, I've always
considered Tim one of my

most trusted employees.

I've known him for five years.

- How long have you
known his uncle?

- Well, just a short time.

- Even if you are worried
that someone is following you,

the least you can
do is say hello.

- Will you stop reading my mind,

and start reading theirs?

(dramatic orchestral music)

- I'm too far away to
tune in on their thoughts.

- Can't you get them
to think louder?

(audience laughing)

- And now since there
are two of them,

I'm surprised you don't
ask me to listen in stereo.

(audience laughing)

Why do you suppose
they're watching you?

- Well, if I knew
the answer to that,

I wouldn't ask you
to read their minds.

- Well, we've got to get closer.

Lead the way.

(playful instrumental music)

- Is it any better?

- Mhm, they're beginning
to come through now.

- Good.

- What's the Chavez Ravine?

- That's the Dodger ball park.

- Well, he's thinking that
he'd rather be there today

than watching us.

(audience laughing)

- What about the other one?

- Mm,

he's wishing that he could be
home because his feet hurt.

(audience laughing)

- Well, you have any
inkling as to why

they're following me?

- No, absolutely
no inkling at all.

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.

- What, what's the matter?

- Wait a minute.

- What is it?

- I thought you said
they were following you.

- Aren't they?

- Not exactly, the one
on the left is yours

and the one on
the right is mine.

They're detectives.

- Detectives, what's
that all about?

- There's one sure
way of finding out,

let's ask 'em.

- Now just a second,
you can't go and ask

two strange detectives
why they're following us.

- Well, now what's more simple
than asking a direct question

and getting a direct answer?

The problem with
you earth people is

is that you ask
indirect questions and
get indirect answers

and then wonder why
you can't communicate.

- I suppose it's
different on Mars.

- It has to be.

Since we can read
each other's thoughts

there is no way to be indirect.

- Alright.

You go ahead and ask
your direct question,

but I'll bet you get
an indirect answer.

- Let's find out.

(playful orchestral music)

- Officers, we want to know
why you've been watching us.

- Us?

Watching you?

- Let's not play
cops and robbers.

If you have anything
to ask us, ask us.

- We don't have
anything to ask you.

- This is all so childish.

We want to know why we
are under suspicion.

Take us to your leader.

(audience laughing)

- We can't do that.

- You mean you won't take us in,

even if we demanded?

- Look, if you want
to go to headquarters,

you gotta get there on your own.

(eerie orchestral music)

(moves into playful
instrumental music)

- That was a waste of time.

- Not completely.

- Well, he didn't
tell us anything.

- That's right, but his silent
partner thought up a storm

and we were the eye
of the hurricane.

Does the Lenington jewel
robbery mean anything to you?

- Sure, I broke the story.

- Well I've got
the followup story.

The odds are 10 million to one.

But the fingerprint that I
put on the driver's license

application matched
the unidentified print

which was found at the robbery.

- Well, where'd you
get the fingerprint?

- Well, I needed one for
my driver's license, and--

- Now, just a
second, Uncle Martin,

you do not have to
give your fingerprint,

it's not mandatory,
it's only voluntary.

- Now he tells me.
(audience laughing)

- Where did you get it?

- I borrowed it from a
distinguished looking gentleman

without his knowledge.

Of all the people in the world,

I had to pick a jewel thief.

- I thought you were a
good judge of character.

- I am a good
judge of character.

But I'm a terrible
judge of fingerprints.

- Oh so now the police
are looking for us

because they think that you
committed the jewel theft.

- And they also think that
you are my accomplice.

But don't look so unhappy, Tim.

When we get to San Quentin,
you can have the lower bunk.

(audience laughing)

I should think that two
grown men would have

more important things to do

than watching a poor,
innocent Martian.

- The way they're watching us,
I think they'd believe that

you're a Martian before they
believe that you're innocent.

(laughing)

- Well, the whole thing
is utterly ridiculous.

If they knew anything
at all about Martians,

they'd know that I was innocent.

Why, on Mars, the beaches
are covered with diamonds,

rubies, sapphires,
emeralds, jade.

What we don't have is sand.

(audience laughing)

- On your next trip back,
could you bring a pale full

of your Coney Island?

(audience laughing)

- Oh, Tim.

Tim, look, the answer to all
our problems is right here

in your own newspaper.

- Oh, what is it, a
boat leaving for Brazil?

- Listen.

Mrs. Summer Winthrop,
Chairlady of the

Westside Children's
League Charity

is having a fundraising
affair Saturday.

As an attraction, the famous
galaxy diamond necklace

will be exhibited.

Mrs. Winthrop will wear
the diamond necklace.

You and I are going to be there.

- Are you out of
your Martian mind?

Here we are, prime
suspects as jewel thieves,

and you want to
put us on the scene

with the most valuable
necklace in the country?

Suppose something happens to it.

- That's what I'm hoping for.

When the gentleman I
borrowed the fingerprint from

shows up, I'll know him.

- Suppose he doesn't show up.

- For the Galaxy Diamond?

That's like saying that
a salmon won't show up

for the spawning season.

(audience laughing)

- So, I thought I'd cover
the story for the paper.

- Our society editor
usually covers those things.

- Now, Mr. Burns, who
was it that taught me

that a good reporter always
uses his sixth sense for news?

- And your sixth sense
tells you it's newsworthy?

- It's just a feeling I had.

- Very well, it's yours.

- Oh, that's great Mr. Burns,

you'll never know what
you've done for me.

- Now which photographer,
you want Mac, Charlie?

- I thought I'd use
my Uncle Martin.

- Uncle Martin?

Is he a good photographer?

- He's out of this world.

(audience laughing)

- Hey, Tim.

You know, I've always
felt that our relationship

was a little warmer than
ordinary employer, employee.

- Well, I've always felt
the same way, Mr. Burns.

- And if a problem arose, we
could confide in each other,

talk it over freely, openly?

- Well, Mr. Burns,

if you have a problem, I'd
be very happy to listen.

- No, no, not me.

I thought maybe
you had a problem.

I thought maybe someone was
pressuring you into something.

- Just a monthly car payment.

(audience laughing)

- Alright, I'll see
you at the affair.

(spirited orchestral music)

(crowd chattering)

- It's quite a turnout.

- There would have
been an overflow crowd

just in detectives
and policemen.

(audience laughing)

(lilting orchestral music)

For a policeman, he serves
a rather good deviled egg.

(audience laughing)

- You mean he's a cop, too?

- Mhm.

- Huh, we got more
men watching us

than a bathing beauty
with a torn bikini.

- The analogy, though
true, is rather base

for a man of your intellect.

See the young lady over there?

She was the woman at the
motor vehicle bureau.

She must be the jewel
thief's accomplice.

Maybe I can find out
his name from her.

She's expecting him any minute.

His name is Henley,
Brian Henley.

Tom Thumb just arrived.

- Wait, who?

- The distinguished looking
gentleman over there

with the young lady I
pointed out earlier.

- Are there any other suspicious
looking characters here?

- Yes, there are two others.

- Who?

- You and me.
(audience laughing)

According to Captain
Farrow and his men.

- Oh yeah, I almost forgot.

The boys in blue
still suspect us.

- [Martin] Hold it.

- It's been charming, gentlemen.

Have fun. (chuckling)

- Oh, I'm terribly
sorry Mrs. Winter.

I don't know how I could
have been so clumsy.

- Oh, that's quite alright.

The necklace!

It's gone!

(shrieking)

Oh, the necklace is gone!

It just disappeared.

He was the only one near me.

- That's true, officer.

But I don't have the necklace.

I'm perfectly willing
to be searched.

- You will be.

Alright, block all these exits.

Nobody goes in or out.

- I don't understand.

Why would he ask to be searched?

- You wouldn't be mind
being searched either

if you knew the
diamond wasn't on you.

- But, how?

- Simple, my dear O'Hara.

He passed it on
to his accomplice.

And you wouldn't believe
where she's hidden it.

- I'm willing to
believe anything.

- In the crown of
Captain Farrow's cap.

- I don't believe it.

- It's really a touch of genius.

The police transport
the necklace away from

the scene of the crime
and once they're outside,

Henley and his
accomplice steal it back.

- Come on, we gotta stop 'em.

- Hold on, Tim.

Here.

I just thought of something.

(atmospheric orchestral music)

- Uncle Martin?

- [Martin] Still here.

- What'd you disappear for?

- I've got to get to Henley,

plant the necklace on him, and
then have him searched again.

(thunder roaring)

- How you gonna do that?

(thunder roaring)

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

- [Martin] Shhh.

Do you want everyone to
know that I'm not here?

- Well half of you is.

Look.

- [Martin] Jupiter!

(audience laughing)

- What happened?

- [Martin] It must have
been the lightning.

- Well don't just stand there.

Either turn yourself on
or turn yourself off.

- [Martin] I'm
trying, but I can't.

The electrical storm
is interfering.

(thunder roaring)

- [Tim] Well anyway,
you're back in one piece.

- Yeah.

I've got to get to Henley.

(audience laughing)

- [Tim] Look down.

(gasping)

My control.

The electrical storm
has ruined my control.

(audience laughing)

- Then you won't be able to get
the necklace back on Henley.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

no one may leave this room.

We're sorry, but we're
going to have to search

everyone here.

- Now just a minute.

Are you suggesting.

- I wish I could.

I feel my control coming back.

(atmospheric orchestral music)

- What good is
that gonna do now?

Now this electrical storm
is getting too wild.

I don't care if you're--

- You always in the habit
of talking to yourself?

- Only when no one's there.

(audience laughing)

- Where's your cameraman?

- Oh, well you
know photographers,

now you see 'em, now you don't.

- You wouldn't have any
objection to being searched,

would you?

- It wouldn't do me any
good if I did, would it?

- Alright.

I better search
that uncle of yours.

- You do that.
(audience laughing)

Bye.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin!

(playful orchestral music)

* La da dee dee dee dum

* La da da da dee

* Doh doh doh

* Doh doh doh

* Doh doh dee dee

- Uncle Martin.

* La la la la la

* Hm hm hm hm hm

- Uncle Martin.

* What is it Tim

- If you're through
playing around,

how 'bout Henley?

- Oh yes, oh yes, ah.

Now, watch this, Tim my boy.

Mr. Henley has a
fascination for diamonds.

Now let's see what fascination
diamonds have for him.

(spirited orchestral music)

(sobbing)

(playful orchestral music)

(lilting orchestral music)

(audience laughing)

(tense orchestral music)

(audience laughing)

(audience laughing)

(moves into dramatic
orchestral music)

(audience laughing)

- There's the necklace!

That's as far as you go, mister.

- I don't understand.

(audience laughing)

- I recovered your necklace
for you, Mrs. Winthrop.

- Oh.

Oh, thank you.

My precious necklace.

Will you put it on for me?

Oh, I can't thank you enough.

- Well, I'm certainly
glad I taught you

to trust your sixth sense.

Now I'll have to
learn to trust mine.

(audience laughing)

- That Henley.

He almost got away with it.

It was a brilliant scheme.

- Yes, it was.

You know he's almost clever
enough to be a Martian.

That is if he were honest.

(lilting orchestral music)
(audience laughing)

- Well, I'm sure glad
that fingerprint business

is cleared up.

- Well, the motor vehicle
bureau is satisfied,

and Captain Farrow's happy, too.

- Hallelujah.

- It was a difficult
evening for me, though.

I had no idea lightning
would effect me like that.

(laughing)

I wish you could
have seen your face.

First the top half gone,
then the bottom half gone.

- Feels good to be present
and all accounted for.

(thunder roaring)

(audience laughing)

(tense orchestral music)

How about that.

Alternating current.

(audience laughing)

(playful orchestral music)