All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E08.The.Awful.Truth.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(enigmatic music)

(playful music)

- Does everyone on Mars
have all of your powers?

- Of course.

On Mars, powers are
merely the facts of life.

- On Earth, we have
the facts of life, too.

But, compared to yours,
the birds and bees

are for the birds.

- I know what you're
thinking, Tim.

But you just can't have one.

You're not ready yet.

- Oh, have you ever given a
power to someone on Earth?

- Of course not.

- Well then, how do you
know we're not ready?

- Now you're always
telling me not to prejudge,

and you're prejudging now.

- No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

Now you say the people
on Earth are not ready

for Martian powers,
and yet no one on Earth

has ever had a Martian power.

- I just couldn't do it.

- Well I'd like to prove to
you that we are mature enough.

- Well, uh, what
power would you take?

- Well,

you, uh,

you talk to animals.

- (laughs) You make
me sound neurotic.

- You read minds.

- And now you make me
sound like a nightclub act.

- Well, you make things
rise up and float around.

- It's called levitation,
learn the terms.

- Oh, sorry.

Well, let's see, you,
uh, you can disappear.

That's it, disappear!

I bet being invisible
would be a ball!

Especially in certain places.

- You should have your
thoughts washed out with soap.

- I've never asked
anything of you before.

I mean, didn't I take you in?

Like a brother?

(playful music)
(audience laughs)

- Like an uncle.

- Well what's wrong with trying
a little thing like that?

- Well, nothing, I suppose.

Maybe I could let you have
levitation for a little while.

- Oh, that'd be great!

For how long?

- One day.

- One day?

- [Martin] Take it or leave it.

- I'll take it.

- All right, let me
see your index finger.

- My right or my left?

- Right, of course, the
left is for something else.

Ah, now if I told you that,
you'd want it instead.

- How do you know?

- I read your mind.

Now, place your finger
against my finger.

- What are you gonna do?

- Come on, come on, come
on, don't be frightened.

Now, close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Think of nothing
but your finger.

(enigmatic music)

There.

You've got it.

(tense music)
(audience laughs)

(climactic music)

(enigmatic music)

(Martian beeps)

(Martian beeps)

(cheerful playful music)

(playful music)

(audience laughs)

- I've got it.

- Yes, you've got it, but
you've gotta be careful with it.

(tense music)

(playful music)

- Hey, look at that.

- Put that fish back!

(water splashes)

(audience laughs)

Let me see that finger.

Well, it looks fine.

- What's wrong?

- Did you ever
break that finger?

- Well, yeah, I broke it
once playing football, why?

- It never set right.

All your levitation
will be at an angle.

There are people
like that, you know.

- Yes, Uncle Martin.

(enigmatic music)

Hey, this is great!

- Watch your control.

Hold that finger straight.

That's it now.

Compensate, compensate
for that angle.

Try a landing.

Never take your eye off
of what you're levitating.

- Oh, well.

Watch this, Uncle Martin.

(enigmatic music)

- Ease up on that middle joint.

Now, now, now, bend the
knuckle on that base.

(dish crashes)

(audience laughs)

What's so funny?

It's not a toy, Tim.

- I'm sorry, Uncle
Martin, but I,

I'm just afraid it's
not right for me.

- Mm-hm, well, you
are not really trying.

- No, you were
right, Uncle Martin.

Levitation is a toy to me.

Now, this would be
great if I was a,

a piano mover, or a bank robber,
even a street sweeper, but

I'm afraid being a reporter,

I picked the wrong power.

- You can't change
powers in midstream

- Oh, why not?

So I made a mistake.

Look, if I, I should've
picked something that was

a little more
helpful in my work.

- I never should've
started this.

- Uncle Martin, look.

There's this reporter
that has a city hall beat

and he's on vacation,

and I have an interview tomorrow

with a bigshot councilman.

- I can't.

- Uncle Martin, if I could
find out how he really thinks,

how he's gonna vote
on particular issues,

it would help me a great deal.

Come on, Uncle Martin,
give me a transfer?

- I'm not a street
car conductor.

- Please.

- Well, uh,

not now, anyway.

- [Tim] Why not?

- Well, before I give
you mind reading,

I'll have to take
back levitation.

- All right, swell,
take it back.

- All right.

Hold out your finger.

(enigmatic music)

All right, there, it's gone.

- So fast?

Up, chair.

(audience laughs)

Up, telephone.

- Up Donder, up Blitzen.

It's gone, Tim, really.

- That's great, now
where's the mind reading?

- Tomorrow.

- All day, can I
have it all day?

- Until midnight.

- Gee, I feel like Cinderella.

(audience laughs)
(gentle music)

Why didn't you wake me earlier?

I only have one day
for mind reading.

- You have plenty of
time, Tim, until midnight.

(someone knocks)

- Is it connected?

You know, does it work?

Can I read minds?

- Open the door and see.

- Good morning, Mr.
O'Hara, nice day.

- [Tim] What was that?

- I just said it's a nice day.

- There's two cents postage
due on my letter, right?

- Well, how'd you know?

- [Tim] Just a wild guess.

- Oh.

(dog barks)

- [Tim] Yes, you're right.

That's not our dog.

We don't have a dog.

- That's funny, that's
just what I was thinking.

- And I bet I can tell
you what you think

is the worst kind of dog.

- What?

- A Pekingese.

- Yeah!

- They're so small they come
up and bite you on the ankle

before you even notice 'em.

- They're so small they
come up and bite you in the.

(audience laughs)

Here's your letter.

(audience laughs)

- He came in as clear as a bell!

- What did you expect, static?

- It's fantastic.

- Now, Tim, you can't tease
people with their own thoughts.

It's not a game.

Uh, do me a favor, huh?

Go back to levitation.

- Oh no.

I'm just warming
up to mind reading.

- Well, after what
I've just seen,

I'm worried about what might
happen the rest of the day.

- Oh, all right, Uncle
Martin, I was showing off.

But, but, well, he
was my first case.

I mean, how did you
do your first time?

- Well, it's hard to remember.

I was a baby.

(someone knocks)

- [Both] Mrs. Brown.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, good morning, Tim.

- It certainly is
a gorgeous morning.

- Oh, why, that's just
what I was gonna say.

- Good morning, Mrs. Brown.

- Oh, good morning,
Martin (laughs).

Oh, I, uh, I brought some
chocolate chip cookies up

for you, Tim, I know
they're your favorite.

- Uh, you mean you know

that they're Uncle
Martin's favorite.

- Oh, his favorite, too.

Really?

Oh, well now, that's a surprise.

- Uh-uh-uh, Mrs. Brown.

You mean, he loves
chocolate chip.

- Well, I baked them
for you, Tim, but if,

if Martin really likes them.

- Oh, I, uh, I do,
indeed, Mrs. Brown.

Uh, it was very nice
of you to think of us.

- Oh, I hope you like them.

Most people do like my
chocolate cook chippies.

I mean, my chocolate
chit choppies.

Uh, my, my chocolate
chop, uh (laughs).

Oh dear, maybe I shoulda
made peanut broodle,

uh, brittle.

- That was very nice
of you, Mrs. Brown.

(stutters) I know
we will enjoy these.

- You're absolutely
right, Mrs. Brown,

he doesn't look his age at all.

- No, he certainly doesn't.

Did I say that?

- No, Mrs. Brown.

Tim said that.

- Oh, good.

For a minute I thought--

- Thought you said
what you were thinking.

- Well, yes, that's
right, I thought that.

Oh, enjoy the
chookies, oh, cookies!

(audience laughs)
(playful music)

- She came in clearer
than the mailman!

(audience laughs)

I'm a what?

- A blabbermouth.

One of the first rules
of mind reading is

don't be a blabbermouth!

Don't blab!

- I just said what
she was thinking.

- That's blabbing.

(audience laughs)

- No, no, thank
you, no coffee now.

As a matter of fact, the
lady would like milk later.

Isn't that right, Daphne?

- I was just gonna say that.

(audience laughs)

- Now, where were we?

- Mm, about your interview
with Councilman Gramby

this afternoon, I'll keep
my fingers crossed for you.

- No, you don't have to,
this is my lucky day.

- Oh.

- What's the matter?

- Well, um, there's something
I'm gonna have to tell you.

Uh, you see I got this telegram.

- You mean telephone call.

- Um, yes, telephone call.

You see I have this
aunt from New Jersey.

- Really?

Your aunt?

- Uh-huh, from Brown Brook.

- And he.

- No, he, she,

well she's coming into
town this weekend, and

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to
break our Saturday night date.

- Do you know how much
extra I had to pay

for those tickets to a broker?

- Oh, I can't be
rude to my aunt.

- Your aunt, huh?

- Mm-hm.

- The tall aunt?

- Well she's not that tall.

- Well this 6'2" tall
aunt with the, uh,

broad shoulders and the
big blue eyes, that aunt?

- My father's younger sister.

- Your father's younger sister

who played tackle at Purdue?

- I don't know
what you mean, Tim.

- Your Aunt Bronco!

- Have you been spying on me?

Have you had my phone tapped?

Had me followed?

- Really, your aunt?

Couldn't you have said your
grandmother who died, or,

or a story you had
to go on out of town?

- Well, well,

I've just never been so
insulted in all my life.

- Uh, who gets the salad?

- Oh, he does, and allow
me to give it to him.

(audience laughs)

- Roe for it, please.

(audience laughs)

Well, I'm off to
interview Gramby,

but first I'm gonna stop by

and get last-minute
instructions from Burns.

- Tim,

maybe we should--

- Call the whole thing off?

Don't forget, I can
read your mind, too.

- Well, then you know
what I'm thinking.

When I gave you the
power of mind reading,

it was like opening
Pandora's box.

Nothing but trouble
has come out.

- Well, I, uh,

I'll admit that maybe I acted
foolish with the mailman and

with, uh, Mrs. Brown.

And maybe even a little
with Daphne, too.

- From what you told me,
that was quite a lunch date

you had with Daphne.

- Yes, I, I, uh.

(playful music)

That's not funny.

- What?

- That joke you're thinking.

It must've been a tossed salad,

because she really tossed it.

- I'm sorry.

But I'm really concerned
about your interview.

This power could get you
into lots of trouble.

- Once I read Gramby's
mind, I am going to write

the interview of the year.

Now will you please
stop worrying.

- I can't help it.

It's my responsibility.

I never should've given
you mind reading, and, uh--

- You might take it back?

- I might.

I might!

- Oh, no you wouldn't.

I just looked in there,

and you'd never go
back on a promise.

Besides, I know how
to use it better now.

- Oh, no, you don't.

I just looked in
there, and you don't.

- I think--

- That's not true.

Besides--

- You never did.

Just this morning--

- That doesn't count, you were--

- I was not!

- Tim--

- Oh no.

You said till 12 midnight,
not till 12 noon.

Anyway--

- You wouldn't dare.

I could--

- Oh, but you wouldn't (laughs).

You know, I sorta
hate to leave now.

You and I could have a
wonderful conversation

and not even say a word.

(audience laughs)
(playful music)

(inspiring music)

Oh, come on, Uncle
Martin, what are we doing,

playing follow the leader?

- I can't help it,
Tim, I'm concerned.

- But I'm a big boy now.

- I know, I know, but I gave
you dynamite to play with,

and I'd feel better if
I went along with you.

- Oh, that's swell, that sure
makes me a bigshot reporter.

What am I supposed to say?

Councilman Gramby, I'd like
you to meet my Uncle Martin.

He's here to keep an eye
on me, just to make sure

that I don't do anything silly?

- Yeah, yeah.

You've got a point there.

I know what I'll do.

(enigmatic music)

There, now I won't embarrass
you by my presence,

but I'll be there
in case you need me.

- All right, I
can't stop you now.

Join the fun, see if I care.

- Say, Jean, uh, give me a
rundown on that new reporter

I gotta talk to, will you?

- Oh, it's all here on a set
of four by five cards, Jack.

He's a real lightweight.

He's a fast
replacement for Eddie.

His name's O'Hara, and he's
a real nothin', he's nobody.

- Good.
(phone buzzes)

Oh.

Yes?

- [Receptionist] Tim O'Hara.

- Uh, send him in.

What was his name again?

- O'Hara, Tim,

Tim O'Hara.
- Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.

How are you, my boy?

- Can we get you something?

- Well, uh, no, no,
thank you, I'm fine.

- Good, let's go,
I like a reporter

who wants to get to work fast.

That's what we've
heard about you.

Oh, we've heard a lot
about you, uh, uh, Tom.

- Tim.

- Tim, yes, of course,
how, how could I forget?

You've got some
reputation, my boy.

Real heavyweight.

I've been looking forward
to this interview.

Shall we, uh, sit on the couch?

(audience laughs)

- Uh, no, I'd rather
not sit on the couch.

- Well, sure, fine,
we'll sit over.

- On second thought,
let's sit on the couch.

- Yeah, whatever
you say, my boy.

Uh,

where shall we start?

- Oh, uh, well,
Councilman Gramby--

- Uh, Jack.

- Everybody calls him Jack,
part of the new breed, you know?

- Yeah.

- Fire away.

- Yes, well I, uh,
I know the council

will be voting next week.

- Oh-ho-ho, I love being
interviewed by a reporter

who's bothered to
check the facts.

Congratulations, my boy.

- Uh, well thank you very much.

Now there seems to be some
concern about the new freeway

going through your district.

- Right.

- Yes, well, have you
made up your mind yet?

I mean, are you going to
vote for it or against it?

- Is that your full question?

- Yes.

- (laughs) It's a hot
potato, all right (laughs).

- Will you vote for
it or against it?

- You've gotta face issues.

- Jack always says that.

(audience laughs)

- If you were to ask me
what advice I would give

to a young man or a young woman

starting out in politics today,

I would sum it up in
two words, face issues.

Now what's your next question?

(audience laughs)

- My next question?

- A councilman's
a busy man, Tom,

oh, uh, Tim.

Uh, let's get on
with the interview.

I don't mean to
rush you, my boy,

but I'm interested in
your next question.

- Yes, well.

Uh, now I know the new
high school bond issue

was coming up
before the council--

- We owe a great
responsibility to the youth.

They are the voters of tomorrow.

- Oh, well, then you'll
support the new bond issue.

- A lot of the voters of
today aren't interested

in the voters of tomorrow.

- You won't support it?

- (laughs) Isn't he a peach
of an interviewer, Jean?

- He sure is, Jack.

(audience laughs)

- If you were to ask me
what advice I would give

to a young man or a
young woman starting out

in journalism today, I would
sum it up in two words,

clear questions.

Now do you have
a third question?

- [Tim] But I haven't.

- Yes?

Oh, right away.

The mayor wants you
on your private line.

- Uh, he always wants me
when I'm tied up (laughs).

I'll, uh, take it inside.

Uh, you think up some more
good questions, my boy.

I'll be back in five minutes.

Make yourself at home.

Be my guest.

- Fine.

All right, where are you?

(arms slam)

- [Martin] Here,
in Jack's chair.

- Okay, wise guy,
what did you do

with my mind reading power?

- [Martin] I didn't do anything.

- Never trust a Martian,
that's my motto.

Uh, uh-uh, where are
you sneaking off to?

You just can't face me, can you?

Now we made a deal,
and you spoiled it

just when I really needed it.

First I read his mind, yes.

Then I read his mind, no.

Then yes,

then no.

All right, where are you?

(enigmatic music)

- Here.
(Tim cries out)

You've still got the power, Tim.

- Well then why couldn't
I read his mind clearly?

- Nobody can read
a politician's mind

while he's deciding
which side he's on.

- Why not?

- He's playing mental ping-pong.

Politicians won't commit
themselves even to themselves.

- Hey, there's the
angle for my story.

The politician's game,
mental ping-pong.

- Now, just a minute, Tim.

- [Tim] What's the matter?

- Not only did I give you a
stick of dynamite to play with,

but it looks as though
I just lit the fuse.

- Gee, but this will
be the greatest story

I've ever written!

- Yes, yes, but think
of the consequences.

- Sure.

I might just end up the official

political reporter for the Sun!

I'm gonna send that
story right now.

(gentle music)

Great, isn't it?

- The ping-pong ball
mind of Jack Gramby,

one of our well-known
councilmen,

bounces for and against the
following issues of the day.

- Provocative, isn't it?

- I must've been out
of my mind to run it.

Gramby's been calling
this office for hours

and so has his lawyer,
and I've bee ducking them.

If we're lucky, mind
you, if we're lucky,

this libel suit will only
cost us a million dollars.

Our city's most ardent issue
dodger, who's been playing

both sides of the
fence for years.

Oh no.

Make it two million.

Do you know your next job?

- The obituary column?

- The obitu,

say how the devil did you
know I was thinking that?

- Well, I don't know.

Let's just say I had a
feeling I was a dead duck.

(playful music)
(audience laughs)

(hooves clatter)
(men holler)

(guns fire)
(adventurous music)

- Where have you been?

It's almost, it's
almost 12 o'clock.

Everybody's been
looking for you.

- Well I've been out thinking
of nice, neat, clean ways

to kill myself.

- [Martin] Why?

- Oh, Uncle Martin,
you were right.

A hundred and one percent right.

Earth men just aren't
ready for Martian powers!

I'm childish, I'm immature.

Will you please take
back mind reading

before I do any
more damage with it?

I've insulted enough
people already!

I'm being sued for libel,

I've almost lost my job,

I have lost my new redhead.

Uncle Martin, will you
please take it back?

I only wanna know
what people tell me.

Will you take it back before
whoever's coming up here

gets up here?

(someone knocks)

- Come in!

- Where is he?

Haha, there you are.

- When do I start
delivering newspapers?

- No, boy.

You're covering
city hall forever.

We're gonna do an expose series

about all of the city council,

and the mayor, and maybe
even the governor, too.

- What?

- Haha, we've sold every
newspaper we printed.

We're back being a
crusading newspaper.

- Oh no!

- And you're getting
a raise, my boy.

You know, I finally took
that call from Gramby,

and he told me that seeing
all his double talk in print

convinced him that he had to
take a stand against issues

and not duck them.

And you, my boy, you Tim,
you're the one that changed him!

- Me?
- Yeah.

You know, he said
that it was just if

you were reading his mind.

Now that's the kind
of reporter I need,

a reporter who can get a
politician's innermost thoughts.

- Well, you see, Mr. Burns,

I'm afraid I can't do
that for you any more,

unless,

Uncle Martin, can I just have
it for a little bit longer?

- Now, we got meetings set
up with every councilman.

- For a week.

- And the mayor called, he
wants to go on record with you.

- Three days, two days?

- Are you listening to me?

- It's too dangerous.

You don't know how
to use it properly.

- What do you mean it's too dan,

what do you want
a pistol permit?

You got it!

You know, I hear the governor's
scared, too (laughs).

Unless we've got a reporter
who's in there for answers.

- Yeah, please, Uncle Martin.

- [Harry] What does he want?

- He wants something I, uh,

loaned him.

- Oh, forget it,
I'll buy you new one.

Look, I wanna keep
you happy, my boy!

- Uncle Martin, it's almost 12!

- You can do a story without it.

Dig for your facts, and
push for the answers.

- What the devil
did you give him?

- Well I can't write
one without it!

- An electrical typewriter,
is that what you want?

You got it!

- Please, Uncle Martin,
it's almost midnight.

- What is this midnight?

What are you, afraid of
turning into a pumpkin?

- My head might!

- What the devil
did you give him?

Won't you tell me?

Give me a hint.

Is it bigger than a breadbox?

Animal, vegetable, or mineral?

Do men use it more than women?

- [Tim] 10, it's going.

- Oh, what's the
matter with you, Tim?

- 11, nothing's
coming in clear now.

- I'm gonna call a doctor,
I'll get the old man's doctor,

he's the biggest
man on the coast!

- 12, it's gone.

- Whadda ya mean it's gone?

Now what the devil
did you give him?

- You'd never believe
it, Mr. Burns.

Never.

(playful music)
(audience laughs)

(someone knocks)

- Oh, hello, I'm Daphne Joyce.

- How do you do?

- Hi.

- I'm Tim's Uncle Martin.

- Oh!

Well, is Tim home?

I have something important
I wanna tell him.

- Well he, uh,

he's in the other room.

Uh, oh, uh.

- Tim, darling.

- Hi.

I, uh, I'd like to
introduce my Uncle Martin.

- Oh, we've met.

Oh, Tim, dear, I was
so wrong yesterday.

I'm sorry, darling.

- Oh, well, that's all right.

- Will you forgive me
for being such a fool,

such an adolescent?

- Well, of course.

- Well I acted like a child.

Well I called Bronco and
I told him it was immature

and unethical to make two
dates on the same night,

and I broke my date with him
so I could go out with you.

- Really?

- Mm-hm.

Well, that's the way I feel
about you, Tim darling.

You still have the
tickets, don't you?

- Oh yes, as a matter
of fact, I have.

(Daphne sighs)

- You're an angel (laughs).

Pick me up early?

- Yes, well let me walk
you down to your car.

- All right, yeah.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, if Tim could
only read minds today.

You see, it was Bronco who
switched her date to Sunday.

But that's our little
secret, isn't it?

(audience laughs)
(playful music)

(cheerful playful music)