Original subtitles

(high-pitched humming)

(anxious violin tones)

- Uncle Martin, I wish you wouldn't do that.

Now what happens if that thing gives out?

- It'll last longer than I will

unless this heat wave breaks.

- Well you're in California, it's always sunny here.

- Yeah well it seems to me a world that

can invent the girdle should be able to

control a simple thing like the weather.

- Yeah well it should break soon.

(plate shatters)

Hey Martin.

Uncle Martin?

- [News Anchor] Looking at the weather, the temperature

climbed to a record 98.2 at the Civic Center today.

- Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin, you're supposed to be out

there helping me with the dishes, remember?

- Shh, weather forecast.

- [News Anchor] Which means that it'll be

just as hot and humid for the next five days

as it's been for the past two days.

- I won't last another five days, Tim.

Your oxygen's so rich anyway but with

this humidity and heat, it's unbearable.

- Well I didn't know it was that bad.

- I've got to get my brain cells working again,

get some nice rarefied air.

Maybe a drive through the mountains will help.

- Oh I'm sorry Uncle Martin but I took

the car down to have the valves ground.

I won't even have it back 'til tomorrow.

- Well then a stroll on a high sidewalk, anything.

Maybe I'll hop down to the Weather Bureau

tomorrow and show them how to make snow.

I'm sorry Tim but you can't use this for the dishes.

You are not ready to solo yet.

(tepid ensemble tones)

- Darn mind-reading Martian.

(high-pitched beeping)

(mysterious electronic music)

(tepid trumpet, violin music)

(anxious violin music)

- You'll have to move,

I don't have strength enough to walk around.

(anxious violin music)

(cat screeches)

That's better.

(relaxed violin music)

- Look, he's gonna jump.

I'll call the police.

(tense violin tones)

- Yes, yeah, yeah.

(frantic knocking)

- Oh Tim, your phone's been off the hook

and Mr. Burns has been trying to reach you all night.

Now let me see if I can remember what he said.

Something about your getting right down to the

Howel Tool Company, there's something very big going on.

Well anyway whatever it was,

Mr. Burns sounded terribly excited.

- Oh all right Mrs. Brown, I'll go down right away.

Thank you very much.

(tepid flute tones)

Car keys, car keys, car keys.

No car keys, no car.

Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Brown!

(anxious violin music)

- Don't jump, fella.

Whatever it is, it isn't worth your life.

Look we've all got problems fella

but we can't let them get the best of us.

Now why don't you just come on down and we'll

talk about it over a cup of coffee and a donut?

- I don't want a donut, I want to be left alone!

- Tell them to get the nets ready.

- Everything always looks

a lot better in the morning, buddy.

Don't you see how silly it is to jump?

- I don't want to jump!

- That's the ticket, now just watch yourself coming down.

- I don't want to come down!

I want to be left alone!

Now go away!

- I always get this kind. (car horn honking)

- Press, press, Los Angeles Sun, let us through please.

Make way, we're coming through, press.

- Mrs. Brown look, I just wanted to borrow your car.

You don't have to write the story for me.

- Oh but I can supply the woman's touch, press.

- Press.

- Go away!

Go away!

- I see there's a man up there.

- Uncle Martin? - Come on, get outta here.

- Pardon me sir,

my name is Tim O'Hara, I'm with the Los Angeles Sun.

Now would you mind if I went up there and spoke to him?

I know him. - What?

- [Tim] I know him, I know him.

- You do huh? - Yeah.

- Well I guess it won't hurt but you better be

careful buddy, he's a real oddball, he'll jump.

- Jump?

- Would you mind?

- Hey wait a minute.

(anxious violin tones)

- Hold on sir, don't jump, I'm coming.

- I'm not going to jump.

- You know that and I know that but they don't.

Anyway, I'm supposed to stop you.

Well what are you doing up here?

- Getting some rarefied air but since it's

getting so crowded up here, I guess I'll disappear.

I'll meet you back at the apartment.

- Huh, what?

- Meet you back at the apartment.

- Oh no no, we can't do that, no.

Mrs. Brown saw you up here and anyway,

how am I gonna explain where you went?

Wait a minute, wait a minute,

you gotta have some kind of a story.

- Ah don't worry, a cup of coffee and a donut

and the rescue squad will have done its duty.

Now come on, we'll be back in the apartment in half an hour.

(audience laughs)

(anxious flute, violin tones)

- How long has it been? - 22 minutes, Mrs. Brown.

- You know it's the loneliness Tim,

that's what drove him up there.

Oh that poor man, I know how it is.

You know what he needs?

He needs brownies in the oven,

his shirts pressed with loving care,

someone to look after him.

- He doesn't need anyone to look after him, Mrs. Brown.

All he really needs is air.

- Well I'll give him that too.

- May I see my uncle now?

Oh well Mrs. Brown, I'll tell Uncle Martin that

you're here and I'm sure that will make him very happy.

- Tell him I'll bake him some brownies tomorrow.

(laughs)

- Not a word, I have been pinched,

padded, poked, prodded and pummeled.

- Oh, well can you go now?

- Not until I've had my psychiatric examination.

- Well now come on, I gotta file my story.

What am I gonna write?

"Mr. Martin O'Hara, this reporter's uncle is rescued

"from the top of a water tower, they think he's crazy."

- I'm sorry Tim, I didn't think anyone would see.

- Well what are you gonna tell the psychiatrist?

- What he wants to hear. - How are you gonna know that?

- Tim.

- Oh I see, you're gonna read his mind and tell him

exactly what he wants to hear you say to get out, huh?

- Good evening gentlemen, I'm Dr. Bonnett.

Which one of you is Martin O'Hara?

- I am, Doctor.

- Well if you would excuse us, please?

Come right this way, please sit down.

- Burnt toast. - What was that?

- Nothing, Doctor.

- Oh, okay well I'll see you soon Uncle Martin.

- Now I'm not here to judge or punish you, Mr. O'Hara.

I'm here to listen and help if I can.

- New hat.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, I was just trying to collect your thoughts,

my thoughts.

- Go right ahead Mr. O'Hara, take all the time you need.

- Are you sure you're concentrating on my case, Doctor?

- What?

Yes of course, what else would I be thinking of?

Now just why were you on top

of that water tower, Mr. O'Hara?

- Well I...

Mailman.

Well you see, I'm a building inspector and I

saw this water tower and it seemed that it

was tilted about 14 degrees to the right.

In the interest of safety, I decided to check the structure.

Then the police came and well,

here I am.

The whole thing just ballooned out of all proportion.

As an intelligent man, I can see that you can see that.

(audience laughs)

- Well I think we can help you, Mr. O'Hara.

You seem to be suffering from a not uncommon ailment,

a retreat from society.

A deep unfulfilled longing to escape from reality.

In simple terms Mr. O'Hara, you're probably

suffering from an endogenous ego-defense mechanism

manifesting itself in obsessive compulsion mechanisms,

creating a state of euphoria.

It's all psychogenic.

We should have a course of treatment

worked out for you by tomorrow morning.

- How long will I have to stay here?

(tepid violin tones)

- Martin, you can't just disappear from your room like that.

- The nurse won't be coming back to

get me for a couple of minutes yet.

- Well what happened?

I thought you were supposed to get yourself released.

- That's what I want to talk to you about.

Dr. Bonnett's turning into a very difficult case.

Tim, you're as illogical and emotional

as the rest of the human race.

Tell me, what does burnt toast, new hat,

mailman have to do with me on top of a water tower?

- Is that what you got out of his mind?

That doesn't make sense.

- Doesn't have to, Dr. Bonnett's a human being.

- Look I have a deadline in one hour.

Now Mr. Burns would like to know what's so difficult

about a, well a nut trying to commit suicide.

- Well he'll be calling again in a minute.

Be sure to give him my worst.

I've got to go now, Nurse Smith is

coming back to help me brush my teeth.

- I wish I could disappear like that for about a week.

- Is your uncle in there yet?

- No, no, he's out brushing his teeth.

(telephone ringing)

Yes Mr. Burns, no there's nothing new Mr. Burns.

Yes I know I'm a reporter, Mr. Burns.

Yes I'd like to keep my job, Mr. Burns.

Hello, Mr. Burns?

No there's nothing new Mr. Burns.

Yes I know I'm a reporter, Mr. Burns.

Yes I'd like to keep my job, Mr. Burns.

- Ah, I hope it doesn't bother you but I'm a pacer.

I always think better on my feet.

- That's quite all right Doctor,

the clearer your thoughts, the better off I'll be.

- How did you feel when you suddenly

found yourself on top of that water tower?

Were you elated, dejected, frightened, confident?

- Elated.

- Uh-huh, uh-huh and does this feeling

of elation always follow acts of wild abandon

and how long do they last?

When they're over,

are you defiant about what you did or do you feel--

- Why don't you call your wife Doctor and apologize?

It wasn't really her fault. - It most certainly was.

How did you know that I had a fight with my wife?

- It's written all over your face.

- Is it that obvious?

- I'm afraid so, Doctor.

- Well we, we can't let that interfere with your treatment.

We are not here to discuss my problems.

- Do you have problems, Doctor?

- Do I have problems?

Everyone has problems, they never let you rest,

at parties, in the dentist's chair or on picnics

and have you ever noticed it's never their problem?

They're always asking for some friend.

Even the mailman has a problem.

I'm not sure what it is yet but I'll find it,

I've been watching him lately.

Demands, all the time demands.

There just doesn't seem to be any time to rest anymore.

Too many problems.

- I'm not making any demands, Doctor.

Come over here a minute, Doctor.

Why don't you take a second right now to relax, Doctor?

Look at that view, you can see the whole city from here

and the mountains.

- Beautiful.

You know you're a very perceptive man, Mr. O'Hara.

- Thank you, Doctor.

I'm just trying to understand the human race.

Why don't you call your wife, Doctor?

You'll feel a lot better.

(relaxed violin music)

- I can't do that? - Why not?

- It's part of her problem.

She's constantly doing things to get me angry

just so that I will feel bad afterwards and apologize.

- Oh, I can't believe that. - No it's true, it's true.

Why else does she burn the toast every morning?

- Maybe she just can't make toast.

- Yes but why can't she make toast?

There's got to be a reason for everything.

Nothing just happens. - Maybe it's an accident.

- There's no such thing as an accident.

Accidents are caused by unconscious drives.

Just the other day she went out and bought a new hat.

Now she says it's because she liked the style

but there's another deeper reason.

Am I boring you? - No, no, no.

I'm very interested.

- I'm grateful for your time, Mr. O'Hara.

I really don't have anyone to talk to.

- When did all this first start?

- Oh about a year ago, before that everything was fine.

Helen was always so much fun.

The house used to be so busy all the time,

both the children there.

Now with Pat married and living in Michigan and

Ronnie in the Navy,

well it's,

it's hard after 22 years of being a parent

to suddenly realize that you're all alone

and I guess Helen just couldn't adjust

and I got tied up here working 18 hours of day.

I had to of course but Helen didn't understand.

She always used to but for some reason she changed.

Little things at first but I could tell.

- Oh there you are Martin, I brought you brownies.

What in the world's going on here?

It looks like...

(laughing)

Oh I beg your pardon.

- I'm ruined.

12 years of schooling, 28 years of being

a doctor and in five seconds I'm ruined.

She'll go and spread that all over

the hospital, I'll be a laughingstock.

No don't Mr. O'Hara, need I remind you

that I am the Doctor and you are the patient?

- Don't give up now Doctor, we're so close.

- Mrs. Brown.

- Is everything all right, Doctor?

- Doctor, well what happened now?

(tepid violin tones)

- You know you aren't unique, Martin.

Loneliness is a disease that besets all of society.

- Well look he's as normal,

well he's more normal than a lot of people I've met.

- I'll admit he's a very perceptive man in his way.

- Oh he is, he is, yes.

It's just as if he could read minds.

- Yes exactly, that's exactly it.

- Yes well he affects a lot of people like that.

You see, Uncle Martin's just an

easy man to talk to, that's all.

Oh come on Doctor, give him another chance will you?

Just talk to him again, please?

- Well, well it wasn't his fault that I lost my head.

Well all right, all right Mr. O'Hara.

All right, I'll try again.

- Oh thanks Doctor, now you'll find

out just how normal he really is.

- Hiding from teeny little drafts,

afraid you'll get a simple thing like a cold.

Now it's just a sign of your unhappiness, Martin.

You know you're constantly doing strange things.

Why from the first moment you moved in,

I knew you were strange.

- Somebody's been lying to me.

- Doctor, Doctor allow me to explain this--

- Nevermind, you've confused me enough already.

From now on, we'll start with the facts

all the way back to the day you were born if need be.

Would you two excuse us? - Oh yes goodbye, have fun.

(tepid violin, trumpet tones)

- Shall we proceed?

- Doctor, I have a confession.

I lied to you, I went up on that water tower

because it was hot and I wanted some fresh air.

- Go on.

Go on. - That's all.

- That can't be all.

- It is, the higher you go, the cooler it gets

and it worked, I felt great.

- Why didn't you tell me this in the first place?

- I was afraid you wouldn't believe me.

Everybody likes complex answers these days.

They want to know what kind of flower,

how much rain, what brand of fertilizer.

Oh, I've been guilty of it myself.

When I see a building, I check if the foundation is level,

how the rivets are set, if the girders are strong

but whenever I do that I miss something.

- What?

- The beauty of the building.

I work too much from the inside.

Beauty becomes nuts and bolts, hot rivets and cold steel.

I can't accept a building for itself,

I have to poke and probe, hunt and peck.

- Yes, yes I know.

- I've lost sight of the basic things.

I can't see the building for the marble,

the windows for the glass, the flower for the fertilizer.

- [Harvey] Go on, go on.

- Why can't I smile at a building?

Forget the fertilizer and look at the flower.

- Ignore the toast and see the new hat.

- What's wrong with me, Doctor?

- You're too wrapped up in your work.

- Exactly.

Thank you Doctor for helping me.

- Thank you, Mr. O'Hara.

You're not only normal, you're invaluable

and I'm going to use what you just told me as

a basis for a paper on the American work psychosis.

(relaxed violin music)

But first I'm going on an extended vacation,

sort of a second honeymoon.

- That's just what the world needs Doctor,

more second honeymoons.

- Give this to the nurse

and you'll get your personal effects back.

- Thank you Doctor, bon voyage.

(relaxed flute, violin music)

- He did need help. (audience laughs)

- Doctor Harvey Bonnett announced that he will

undertake a research project on the American

work psychosis based on the previous experiments

and observations of Mr. Martin O'Hara.

In an exclusive interview with this reporter,

Doctor Bonnett said--

- Please, no more brownies. (knocking)

- Hello dear, I just had a few of

these left over and it seemed a shame--

- It seemed a shame to let them go to waste.

Well, Uncle Martin, look what Mrs. Brown brought to us.

Uncle Martin?

Oh come on now, that's not fair.

We've got to, to share.

Uncle Martin? - Martin?

It's like he disappeared. - He sure did.

- [Lorelei] Well he should be back soon.

Here Tim have a brownie, it'll cheer you up.

- [Tim] Thanks a lot.

(playful flute tones)

(tepid violin, trumpet music)