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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000 [ INDISTINCT WHISPERING ] 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,000 OH, NO. 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,000 [ WHISPERING CONTINUES ] 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,000 OH. 6 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,000 UNBELIEVABLE. YOU'RE AN AMAZING MAN. 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,000 [ BELL JINGLES ] 8 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 COME ON, MAN. WHAT'S THAT? 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,000 Terry: SHE'S JUST A FRIEND. 10 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000 Joe: [ CHUCKLES ] Owen: YOU KNOW 11 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,000 WHY THAT'S BULLSHIT? 12 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,000 YOU'RE A 49-YEAR-OLD MAN. 13 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000 HOW MANY 16-YEAR-OLD FRIENDS YOU GOT? 14 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 SHE'S NOT 16. 15 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 YEAH, BUT SHE'S CLOSER TO 16 THAN 49, I'LL TELL YOU THAT. 16 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000 AGE IS JUST A NUMBER, MY FRIENDS. JUST A NUMBER. 17 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 OH, COME ON. SHE'S A FRICKING CHILD. 18 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000 SHE'S NOT A CHILD. COME ON, MAN. 19 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,000 NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEE ALL THE "TWILIGHT" MOVIES. 20 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 21 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,000 HEY, WHAT WAS OUR TIME ON THE TRAIL TODAY? 22 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,000 YOU KNOW, WE WERE FAST. 23 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000 WE BEAT OUR RECORD BY A MINUTE AND A HALF GOING UP. 24 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 NO, NO, NO, NO. WE'RE NOT -- WE'RE NOT CHANGING THE SUBJECT. 25 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR FRIEND -- THE YOUNG, HOT GIRL. 26 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,000 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, FINE. 27 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,000 HER NAME IS ANNIE. 28 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000 SHE'S 25. SHE'S A WRITER. 29 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000 OH, MY GOD. 25?! 30 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 YOU'RE DATING A 25-YEAR-OLD? 31 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:05,000 WE'RE NOT DATING. 32 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 THAT'S A NEW RECORD FOR YOU. 33 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 WE'RE NOT DATING. YEAH, BUT YOU GOT 34 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,000 YOUR WHOLE SCENT OUT THERE. 35 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,000 SHE'S IN YOUR LITTLE TRAP, YOUR LITTLE QUICKSAND THING. 36 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000 WHOA, WHOA, I'M CONFUSED. 37 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,000 I GOT A TRAP, AND IT'S FILLED WITH QUICKSAND? 38 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000 WHOA, WHOA! WHOA! 39 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,000 UHH! 40 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,000 SON OF A BITCH! ASSHOLE! 41 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,000 ARE YOU OKAY? 42 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,000 YEAH. IT GOT MOSTLY SHIRT, NOT SKIN. 43 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 Man: HEY. HOW'S IT GOING? 44 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,000 HEY! HEY! 45 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:33,000 HEY, HEY. YOU ALMOST HIT ME BACK THERE. 46 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:36,000 HEY, WHAT? WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA JUST KEEP DRIVING? 47 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,000 YOU WENT THROUGH THE STOP SIGN. 48 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,000 WHAT? YOU'RE JUST GONNA DRIVE -- 49 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000 I'LL GET A PICTURE OF HIM. HOLD ON. 50 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,000 I'LL TAKE HIS PICTURE, MAN. HOLD ON. 51 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,000 [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 52 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,000 OH, WAIT. THAT'S US. SHIT, I HAD IT BACKWARDS. 53 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 OH, MY GOD. IS THIS ME? 54 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,000 THIS JACKET IS TOO TIGHT. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? 55 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,000 HERE, LET ME GET A PICTURE OF YOUR SHIRT. HOLD ON. 56 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,000 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? [ CELLPHONE BEEPS ] 57 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,000 DID YOU GET IT? 58 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,000 NO, I HIT THE CALENDAR. 59 00:01:57,000 --> 00:02:00,000 IT'S NOT ROSH HASHANAH. THIS IS WRONG. 60 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:06,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪ 61 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:12,000 ♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪ 62 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 ♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪ 63 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,000 ♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪ 64 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 65 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,000 ♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪ 66 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:26,000 ♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪ 67 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,000 [ HORN HONKS ] 68 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 69 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,000 [ MUMBLES ] 70 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000 [ LUCY SCOFFS ] 71 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000 OHH. EVERY MORNING. 72 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000 EVERY MORNING, THAT'S HIS BREAKFAST. 73 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 OH, MAN. 74 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,000 DAD, HE -- HE'S GONNA DIE. 75 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,000 OH, YEAH. 76 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,000 NEXT TIME YOU SLEEP OVER, 77 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000 YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GONNA SEE HIM. 78 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 YOU'RE GONNA DIE, MORT. MIND YOUR BUSINESS, JOE. 79 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 80 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000 HEY, MORNING, JOE. 81 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000 HEY, NICKY. 82 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,000 I AM DEEPLY SORRY YOU KIDS HAD TO EXPERIENCE THAT. 83 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 AT LEAST IT'S NOT SATURDAY WHEN HE'S LAYING OUT 84 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,000 BY THE POOL. 85 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 HE LOOKS LIKE AN ALBINO TEDDY BEAR. 86 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 87 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,000 ALL RIGHT, THANKS. 88 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:07,000 SO, DAD...YOU KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE, HUH? 89 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,000 WHAT -- OH, NO. I MEAN, YEAH. 90 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,000 YOU GET TO KNOW PEOPLE IF YOU STAY HERE LONG ENOUGH -- 91 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000 THE REGULARS, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 92 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,000 ARE ALL THE PEOPLE HERE GETTING DIVORCED? 93 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,000 NO. I DON'T KNOW. 94 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,000 BUT, UH, YOU ARE GONNA GET, LIKE, 95 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000 A REAL APARTMENT? 96 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 SOON. 97 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:26,000 YEAH, I JUST -- BEFORE I GET A PLACE, 98 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,000 I WANT TO... JUST MAKE SURE, YOU KNOW. 99 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,000 JUST...YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. 100 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000 Sonia: OH. HEY, GUYS. 101 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,000 HEY. 102 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,000 I'M SORRY -- WE'VE GOT TO RUN 103 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,000 'CAUSE I HAD TO PARK IN THE HANDICAP AGAIN. 104 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,000 OH, ONLY ONE GUY USES THAT. YOU KNOW, HE'S GONE. 105 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE'S FAKING IT. 106 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000 OH. [ CHUCKLES ] 107 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000 STILL, I GET NERVOUS. SO, ARE YOU GUYS READY? 108 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 109 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,000 BYE, DAD. BYE. SEE YOU LATER. 110 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 OH, DAD, CAN I TAKE A BAGEL? 111 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. HURRY UP. 112 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,000 HEY, I'M PICKING THEM UP TODAY? 113 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,000 YEAH, WHY? YOU STILL CAN, RIGHT? 114 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000 'CAUSE I'M AT THE EYE DOCTOR THIS AFTERNOON. 115 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000 YEAH -- NO, NO, I JUST... 116 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 FOR A SECOND, I THOUGHT IT WAS TOMORROW. 117 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 NO, IT'S TODAY. ALL RIGHT. 118 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000 THANKS. OKAY. OKAY. 119 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 BYE, DAD. ALL RIGHT, 120 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 I GUESS BYE-BYE. 121 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,000 SEE YA. SEE YOU LATER, ALBERT. 122 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,000 Albert: BYE, DAD. 123 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,000 ♪ WHOO ♪ 124 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,000 ♪ WHOO, WHOO-HOO-HOO ♪ 125 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,000 HEY, WHAT'S UP, DADDY? 126 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 I NEED YOUR CAR, SON. 127 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 UH, REALLY? YEAH. COME ON, NOW. 128 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 LAWRENCE HAS GOT UPS. 129 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,000 THEY WANT A GRAY MALIBU -- LEATHER, NAV SYSTEM. 130 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000 SO, UH, WHERE'S MY NEW ONE? 131 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000 RIGHT HERE. 132 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,000 OH, DADDY, COME ON. 133 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,000 WE'VE GOT A MERITOCRACY HERE, SON. YOU KNOW THAT. 134 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,000 YOU WANT TO GET YOUR PICK OF DEMOS, YOU GET YOUR NUMBERS UP. 135 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,000 [ ENGINE REVVING ] 136 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,000 [ INDISTINCT TALKING OVER P.A. ] 137 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,000 HEY, OWEN. 138 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000 THAT'S A HYBRID, RIGHT? 139 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,000 YOU GOT TO DO THE FLINTSTONE LEGS THING TO GET IT GOING? 140 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,000 YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK THE BACK 141 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000 AND MAKE SURE ALL THE CLOWNS MADE IT OUT ALL RIGHT. 142 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 143 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:06,000 ♪ YOU TELL ME THAT YOU'RE LEAVING ♪ 144 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 ♪ I CAN'T BELIEVE... ♪ 145 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 YOU MOVING, MR. T? 146 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 NO. NO, I JUST... 147 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,000 I DON'T KNOW. IF I FIND SOMETHING. 148 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000 HEY, DASHAUN. ARE YOU LISTENING TO YOUR iPod AGAIN? 149 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,000 YOU CAN'T DO THAT WITH CUSTOMERS. TAKE IT OUT. 150 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000 YEAH, I... COME ON. 151 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,000 I KNOW. IT'S JUST... 152 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,000 COME ON, MAN. YOUR MUSIC IS JUST... 153 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000 COME ON. 154 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:28,000 WHO IS THIS LADY SINGING RIGHT NOW? 155 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,000 THIS IS NEIL SEDAKA, OKAY, AND HE IS A CLASSIC SINGER. 156 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,000 THIS IS GOOD MUSIC. 157 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000 I'M GONNA GO. NO, NO. I GOT IT. 158 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 159 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,000 HEY. HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 160 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000 HI. YES, THANKS. 161 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000 I NEED TO GET SOME BALLOONS FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY. 162 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:47,000 YEAH, OKAY. UH... 163 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,000 [ GRUNTING ] 164 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,000 YEAH, THAT'S, UH... WE'VE GOT A LOT OF VARIETY. 165 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,000 THANKS. YEAH. 166 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:55,000 SO, LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. 167 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,000 THANKS. 168 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000 I'VE SEEN YOU HIKING, RIGHT? 169 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,000 I'VE SEEN -- 170 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000 YEAH, I'VE SEEN YOU. YOU HIKE. 171 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000 OKAY, RIGHT. I SEE YOU UP THERE ALL THE TIME. 172 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,000 YEAH, I GO UP THERE. 173 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000 I GO UP THERE A LOT. WELL, THAT'S WEIRD. THAT'S WEIRD. 174 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:10,000 I KNEW I HAD SEEN YOU, BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD SEEN ME. 175 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,000 OH, WELL, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEEN ME 176 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000 AND I WOULDN'T HAVE SEEN YOU? 177 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 NO. UH, NO REASON, REALLY. 178 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,000 JUST...I'M JUST ALWAYS UP THERE IN MY HEAD. 179 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,000 I'VE GOT MY CD PLAYING ALL THE TIME, SO I JUST -- 180 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,000 I-I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD SEEN ME THERE. 181 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,000 LISTENING TO MUSIC DOESN'T MAKE YOU INVISIBLE. 182 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000 [ CHUCKLES ] RIGHT. 183 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000 RIGHT, RIGHT. 184 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,000 THOUGH SOMETIMES YOU WISH IT DID, RIGHT? 185 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,000 I GUESS...SOMETIMES. YEAH. 186 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,000 YEAH. SOMETIMES. 187 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,000 OKAY. ANYWAY... 188 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 EVERYTHING'S IN THERE. I'M GONNA TAKE A LOOK -- 189 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000 YEAH. 190 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 YEAH. YEAH. ALL THE BALLOONS 191 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000 ARE IN THERE. 192 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,000 SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, LET ME KNOW. 193 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 [ INHALES SHARPLY ] 194 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 THAT WAS HARD TO WATCH, MAN. 195 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,000 TAKE THE iPod OUT. PULL YOUR PANTS UP. 196 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:58,000 ♪ I WISH THAT WE WERE MAKING UP AGAIN ♪ 197 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:05,000 ♪ I BEG OF YOU ♪ 198 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000 ♪ DON'T SAY... ♪ 199 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,000 [ KEYS CLACKING, TELEPHONES RINGING ] 200 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 201 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000 [ COMPUTER BEEPS ] 202 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,000 [ SIGHS ] DAMN IT. 203 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000 OH, NO, ARE YOU TRYING TO GET PORN UP ON THERE? 204 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 HUH? 205 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000 YEAH, THEY WON'T LET YOU WATCH THAT STUFF HERE, BRO. 206 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 NO -- I'VE GOT SOME CRAZY DOWNLOADS 207 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 ON MY HOME LAPTOP. 208 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 I'LL BRING IT IN TOMORROW FOR YOU. 209 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,000 ACTUALLY, I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND A LICENSE PLATE. 210 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000 OH, REALLY? 211 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:34,000 YEAH, THIS JERK BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN TODAY 212 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 AND ALMOST HIT ME, AND I JUST THOUGHT -- 213 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,000 "I'M GONNA FIND HIM AND THROW HIM A BEATING!" 214 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,000 YEAH, BOY. I'LL WINGMAN THAT SHIT. 215 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 NO, NO, NO, I DON'T -- I DON'T NEED TO WINGMAN ANY SHIT. 216 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 JUST LISTEN, SON. 217 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,000 MY BROTHER'S A COP. HE'LL TOTALLY RUN THE PLATES FOR YOU. 218 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 REALLY? 219 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000 WELL, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 220 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,000 WHAT'S GOING ON? 221 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 SOME JERK SWIPED TERRY WITH HIS CAR TODAY, 222 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 SO WE'RE GONNA RAIN A LITTLE 223 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,000 FRONTIER-JUSTICE BEATDOWN ON HIM. 224 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,000 HE'S GOT MAYBE HALF OF THAT RIGHT. 225 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,000 OH, MY GOD, I'M SO WITH YOU. 226 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 THERE'S SO MANY JERKS IN THIS WORLD. 227 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000 JUST LAST SATURDAY, THIS CABLE GUY COMES OVER TO THE HOUSE 228 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,000 'CAUSE WE'RE RUNNING A LINE INTO THE BABY'S ROOM, YOU KNOW. 229 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,000 SO I ASK ABOUT MAYBE A LITTLE HBO ON THE SIDE. 230 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,000 AND RIGHT AWAY, IT'S, "SORRY, CAN'T DO IT, SIR." 231 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,000 WOW. WERE THERE ANY OTHER CRIMES HE WOULDN'T COMMIT FOR YOU? 232 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,000 NO, BUT -- BUT SERIOUSLY, HE WAS A JERK ABOUT IT. 233 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000 LEFT A FEW DIRTY FINGERPRINTS ON THE OUTLETS, ALSO. 234 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,000 PROBABLY DELIBERATE. REAL JERK. 235 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,000 I STILL TIPPED HIM, BUT NOT AS MUCH, 236 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,000 SO HE REALLY DIDN'T GET AWAY WITH IT. 237 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 238 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,000 SPEAKING OF DICKS. 239 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000 OH, NO, HE'S A GOOD GUY. 240 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:29,000 AND A GOOD DAD. HE'S GOT HIS BABY WATCHING HBO. 241 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,000 [ LAUGHS ] THAT'S AWESOME. 242 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 243 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,000 YEAH, THAT SATURDAY GAME, HUH? 244 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000 THAT'S GONNA BE SOME SHOOTOUT. 245 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,000 OH, YEAH. 246 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000 YEAH, BET THE OVER ON THAT ONE. 247 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 YOU THROWING DOWN A BET SOMEWHERE? 248 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000 'CAUSE I'LL PUT DOWN A HUNDRED. 249 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,000 NO, NO. 250 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000 NO, I DON'T -- NAH, I'M NOT A GAMBLER. 251 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,000 I USED TO, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE BIT HERE AND THERE. 252 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,000 YEAH, WHY DID YOU STOP? YOU WIN TOO MUCH? 253 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,000 YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. 254 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 OH, HEY, LISTEN, BEFORE I FORGET, 255 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 TOMORROW IS CHET'S LAST DAY. 256 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,000 HE'S FINALLY DONE WITH THAT TOLL-ROAD PROJECT. 257 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000 OH, YEAH? 258 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000 I THINK MICHELLE'S TAKING OFF, TOO. 259 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,000 SO, LISTEN, UH, WE'RE HAVING A LITTLE GOING-AWAY HAPPY HOUR 260 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,000 UP IN CHET'S ROOM TOMORROW NIGHT. 261 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,000 NO BIG DEAL. JUST SOME OF THE LIFERS. 262 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000 SO, YOU WANT TO COME? 263 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,000 YEAH. YEAH, YEAH. I'M NOT A LIFER. 264 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,000 YOU KNOW, I'VE JUST BEEN HERE A COUPLE MONTHS. 265 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000 BUT IF I'M AROUND... 266 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000 YEAH, I'LL GO IF I'M AROUND, YEAH. 267 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000 SOUNDS GOOD. COOL. 268 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,000 I'M NOT... I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN GO. 269 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,000 BUT IF I DO, UH, SHOULD I BRING SOMETHING? 270 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,000 YEAH, YOU KNOW, UH, BEER, DRINKS, WHATEVER. 271 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000 ALL RIGHT. YEAH. 272 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000 SO, LIKE WHAT? 273 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000 LIKE A -- LIKE A BOTTLE OF GIN 274 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000 OR VODKA OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 275 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000 YEAH, THAT'LL -- THAT'LL DO THE TRICK, YEAH. 276 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000 OKAY. 277 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 BEER. 278 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,000 I'LL BRING BEER. RIGHT? 279 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:37,000 WHAT KIND? WHAT KIND SHOULD I BRING? 280 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,000 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. HOW ABOUT, UH, NOT SHITTY? 281 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,000 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I'LL DO MY BEST. YEAH. 282 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 283 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000 ALL RIGHT, MAN. SEE YOU. 284 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,000 IS THAT YOUR NEW CAR, DADDY? 285 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000 YEAH. 286 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000 THAT'S TOO SMALL FOR HULK. 287 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000 YES, IT IS. 288 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000 [ DOOR OPENS ] 289 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000 OH, NO. WHAT IS THAT MAN THINKING? 290 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000 WE HAVE A FAMILY. 291 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000 THERE'S NO USE GETTING UPSET. 292 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000 THIS IS, UH, WHAT HAPPENS. 293 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000 WELL, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PICK THE BOYS UP FROM FOOTBALL 294 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 AND YOU HAVE ALL THE EQUIPMENT AND THE BABY SEAT? 295 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000 IT WILL FIT. [ SCOFFS ] 296 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000 KIND OF. 297 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 I'LL TAKE THE MINIVAN ON THAT DAY. 298 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000 NO, NO, NO. I HAVE TO BRING THEM TO FOOTBALL. 299 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,000 IT JUST -- HONEY, COME ON. 300 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 WAIT A MINUTE. 301 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:38,000 OH, YEAH, THE CABLE GUY CAME AND HOOKED THAT UP TODAY. 302 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000 OH, MY. 303 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 YOU LIKE IT, HUH? 304 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,000 I LIKE IT VERY MUCH. 305 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,000 OH, IT'S JUST THAT -- YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS 306 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,000 OF THESE DAMN RENOVATIONS, AND FINALLY SOMETHING WORKS. 307 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 308 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,000 WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HAPPY, HONEY. 309 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:04,000 Announcer: BOTTOM OF THE THIRD, TWO MEN OUT. NOBODY ON. 310 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000 [ SIGHS ] 311 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,000 HEY, YOU KNOW, UH -- YOU KNOW WHO CAME IN THE STORE? 312 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000 FANTASY WOMAN. 313 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000 REALLY? YEAH. 314 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000 I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THIS FANTASY WOMAN. IS SHE REAL? 315 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000 OR IS IT LIKE, UM... 316 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000 YOU KNOW, WHEN KIDS HAVE AN IMAGINARY FRIEND? 317 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000 YEAH, NO. SHE'S REAL. SHE'S REAL. 318 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000 I SPOKE TO HER THIS TIME. 319 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000 YOU TALKED TO HER? MM-HMM. 320 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000 HOW DID THAT GO? GOOD. 321 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:28,000 GOOD. SHE CAME IN. SHE -- SHE ASKED ABOUT BALLOONS. 322 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000 I APOLOGIZED FOR MY ERECTION, AND THEN SHE LEFT. 323 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000 [ LAUGHS ] WHAT DO YOU 324 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000 GOT TO APOLOGIZE FOR? 325 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,000 THAT'S A COMPLIMENT. IT'S, UH -- IT'S FLATTERING. 326 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000 NOT WITH MY DICK. 327 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 328 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000 MM, SPEAKING OF DICKS, 329 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000 REMEMBER THAT GUY FROM YESTERDAY IN THE CAR? 330 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000 I RAN THE PLATE. 331 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000 WHAT? 332 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,000 RAN THE PLATE? WHAT ARE YOU, MANNIX? 333 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 NO, THIS -- THIS GUY IN THE OFFICE -- THANKS -- 334 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000 HIS, UH, BROTHER'S A COP, 335 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,000 AND HE LOOKED UP THE LICENSE-PLATE NUMBER 336 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,000 AND THEN GOT THE GUY'S ADDRESS. 337 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000 YEAH, SO? 338 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,000 I MEAN, WHAT, ARE YOU GONNA GO OVER THERE 339 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000 AND GO ALL "BILLY JACK" ON HIM? 340 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000 OH, REMEMBER THAT MOVIE? 341 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,000 YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD MOVIE. 342 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:08,000 YEAH, SO -- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. SO, WHO'S COMING WITH ME? 343 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:12,000 REALLY? WHAT -- FOR WHAT? 344 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000 WHY SHOULD WE LET THE GUY GET AWAY WITH IT? 345 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,000 BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN LIFE. 346 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 PEOPLE ARE DICKS, AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. 347 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:20,000 BUT THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. THIS TIME HE DEALS WITH US. 348 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000 WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 349 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,000 WE'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. I... 350 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000 THIS IS SO YOU. 351 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000 WHY IS THIS SO ME? 352 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000 JUST, YOU KNOW, YOUR WHOLE PETER PAN THING, 353 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000 YOU KNOW, WITH NO COMMITMENTS 354 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000 AND TIME TO INDULGE EVERY LITTLE NOTION 355 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 THAT COMES IN YOUR HEAD. 356 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 "HEY, SOME GUY MADE ME SPILL MY COFFEE. 357 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 WHY DON'T I SPEND THE WHOLE DAY TRACKING HIM DOWN?" 358 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000 THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT THE COFFEE. 359 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 OKAY? HE RAN A STOP SIGN. 360 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 RIGHT? HE ALMOST KILLED US. 361 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,000 I'M A GROWN MAN WITH ACTUAL SHIT TO DO -- 362 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,000 A WIFE, KIDS, MORTGAGE -- THINGS THAT COUNT. 363 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FOOLISHNESS. 364 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000 WHY DO YOU GOT TO TAKE A BIG BITE AND TALK? 365 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 I SEE EVERYTHING -- I GOT IT ALL. 366 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,000 FELLAS. FELLAS, SERIOUSLY. 367 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,000 NOBODY WANTS TO DO THIS? 368 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 WE'RE PUSHING 50 HERE. 369 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000 WE'VE BEEN DEALING WITH DICKS ALL OF OUR LIVES. 370 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,000 RIGHT, AND GUESS WHAT. THE DICKS ARE WINNING. 371 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,000 SO NOW WE'VE GOT A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, 372 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 YOU GUYS ARE JUST GONNA LET IT SLIDE? 373 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000 AGAIN? 374 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:14,000 I MEAN...JUST LET THE DICK OFF THE HOOK ONE MORE TIME? 375 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000 YEAH. I TOLD YOU, I GOT -- 376 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000 I GOT THINGS TO DO. 377 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:22,000 IT'S RIDICULOUS. 378 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:25,000 OKAY. OKAY, FORGET IT. 379 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:29,000 I GUESS...I'M THE DICK. 380 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000 WELL, THERE YOU GO. YEAH. 381 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000 RUN YOUR PLATE. 382 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 383 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,000 [ Laughing ] OKAY. OKAY. 384 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:38,000 THAT WAS FUNNY WHEN HE SAID, "I RAN THE PLATE." 385 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 I JUST ABOUT LOST IT. 386 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 GET THE, UH, MALIBU. 387 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,000 YOU CAN'T SEND THE MALIBU. 388 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,000 OH, HEY, UH, MELISSA, YOU JUST MISSED HIM. HE WENT TO LUNCH. 389 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000 OH, SHOOT. 390 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 391 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 I THINK I'M JUST GONNA PUT THIS ON HIS DESK 392 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000 IN CASE HE GETS HUNGRY LATER. 393 00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000 OKAY? 394 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 DID SHE SAY "IN CASE"? 395 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 396 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,000 HE WILL BE HUNGRY. 397 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000 [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ] 398 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 399 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Melissa: KNOCK, KNOCK. HEY. 400 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000 MELISSA, SWEETHEART. HOW ARE YOU DOING? 401 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:15,000 OH, GOOD. 402 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,000 AH. UH, OWEN'S PROBABLY AT LUNCH. 403 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 OH, YEAH, I-I HEARD. 404 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000 UM, ACTUALLY, I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 405 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000 OKAY. 406 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,000 WELL, YOU KNOW, IT -- IT'S JUST... 407 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000 [ SIGHS ] 408 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000 I MEAN... [ CHUCKLES ] 409 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,000 YOU -- YOU GAVE OWEN THAT TINY LITTLE DEMO. 410 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000 OH. 411 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:37,000 I GUESS THAT CAR'S PROBABLY NOT YOUR FAVORITE. 412 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000 UNH-UNH. [ CHUCKLES ] 413 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,000 BASICALLY, WHAT WE'VE GOT HERE IS A MERITOCRACY. 414 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,000 DRIVING A NICE DEMO IS BASED ON HOW WELL YOU DO YOUR JOB, 415 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:47,000 AND, UH, IT KIND OF MOTIVATES THE SALESMEN. 416 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,000 YEAH, I-I WAS IN THE BUSINESS WORLD FOR A LONG TIME, 417 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000 SO I GET THAT. 418 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,000 BUT I'M SAYING THAT THIS IS OWEN... 419 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,000 AND WE HAVE THREE KIDS. 420 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000 MELISSA, I HOPE YOU'RE NOT SAYING 421 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:02,000 THAT I SHOULD SHOW FAVORITISM TO OWEN JUST BECAUSE HE'S MY SON. 422 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000 YOU KNOW, I DON'T -- I DON'T DO THAT. 423 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,000 IN FACT, I'M SURPRISED YOU'D EVEN ASK THAT. 424 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000 NO, NO, NO, LISTEN. 425 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 SEE, BECAUSE IT UNDERMINES MY CREDIBILITY, 426 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000 AND IT UNDERMINES HIS CREDIBILITY. 427 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,000 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 428 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,000 ARE YOU SAYING THAT IF YOU GAVE OWEN A CAR 429 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000 THAT HIS WHOLE FAMILY COULD FIT IN, 430 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000 EVERYTHING WOULD JUST FALL APART? 431 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,000 I GUESS YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND BUSINESS. 432 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000 OH, NO, I UNDERSTAND BUSINESS. 433 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000 AND THIS IS NOT BUSINESS. 434 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000 THIS IS SOME OF YOUR PETTY BULLSHIT! 435 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:28,000 MELISSA, I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR PLACE HERE. 436 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000 OH, NO, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE MY PLACE IS -- 437 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000 CRAMMED IN THE BACKSEAT OF THAT CRAPPY CAR! 438 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000 WELL, WHAT ABOUT THAT FINE MINIVAN 439 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 THAT I THINK I SOLD YOU AT COST?! 440 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,000 WAIT, DO YOU WANT ME TO THANK YOU NOW?! 441 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,000 YOU'RE A GOOD SALESMAN, BUT YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD! 442 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 IF YOU WANT TO BLAME ME FOR SOMETHING, 443 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000 WHY DON'T YOU BLAME ME FOR THIS HOUSE 444 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 THAT YOU'RE REBUILDING FOR NO GODDAMN GOOD REASON?! 445 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000 YOU KNOW -- YOU -- YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE WHAT I... 446 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 447 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000 [ DOOR SLAMS ] 448 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000 [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 449 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 [ INDISTINCT TALKING OVER P.A. ] 450 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 UH, HONEY, WHAT ARE YOU -- 451 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:03,000 YOUR FATHER IS SUCH A... DICKHOLE! 452 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000 WHAT? 453 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,000 [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT -- WHAT HAPPENED? 454 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,000 UH, YOUR WIFE BROUGHT YOU LUNCH. 455 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000 [ LOUD UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 456 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] 457 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 DUDE! HEY, GUYS. 458 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,000 JOE! JOE! 459 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,000 JOE! 460 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000 THERE HE IS. JOE. 461 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000 Chet: HOW ARE YOU DOING? ALL RIGHT, HOW ARE YOU? 462 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000 FANTASTIC. COME ON IN. 463 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 I GOT SOME BEER. Nick: WELL DONE. WELL DONE. 464 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 GOOD STUFF. WHAT CAN I GET YOU? 465 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 YEAH, I'LL TAKE ONE OF THOSE. 466 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 YEAH? 467 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000 YEAH, YEAH. WOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE, HUH? 468 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000 YEAH. 469 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Chet: IT'S NOT A BAD TURNOUT. WE'VE HAD BETTER. 470 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000 PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I GUESS. 471 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 472 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,000 [ DOGS BARKING IN DISTANCE ] 473 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 ...POSITION TO SAY SOMETHING, 474 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,000 BUT SOMEBODY'S GOT TO DO SOMETHING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 475 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 HE LOOKS LIKE A DICK, DUDE. 476 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 Shh. Shh, shh, shh. 477 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,000 LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS TOMORROW. START FRESH. 478 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,000 JUSTICE TIME. 479 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,000 ALL RIGHT, JUST, JUST... 480 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] GIVE ME A SECOND. 481 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 ALL RIGHT. 482 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000 Woman: JUST SLICE THE MELON LIKE THIS. 483 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Melissa: HEY. 484 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000 HEY. 485 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,000 [ SIGHS ] 486 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000 BOY, THIS HD THING IS AWESOME. 487 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 488 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT IT. 489 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,000 YOU CAN SEE ALL THE LITTLE BEADS OF JUICE IN THERE. 490 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,000 IT'S NICE. 491 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,000 I'M SORRY. 492 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,000 YOU CAN'T DO THAT. 493 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000 I KNOW. 494 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 BUT THAT MAN -- 495 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000 MELISSA -- NO, LISTEN. 496 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,000 I KNOW THAT I SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THAT MAD. 497 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 AND I KNOW I DID NOT HANDLE THINGS WELL. 498 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:09,000 BUT IT'S JUST -- IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING! 499 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 THE WAY HE TREATS YOU, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. 500 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 YOU CAN'T DO WHAT YOU DID, OKAY? 501 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000 I CAN'T HAVE YOU DOWN THERE FIGHTING MY BATTLES. 502 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,000 I GOT TO GO DOWN THERE EVERY DAY 503 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000 KNOWING PEOPLE THINK I GOT MY JOB BECAUSE OF MY DAD. 504 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000 NOW EVERYBODY THINKS I GOT TO HAVE MY WIFE COME IN 505 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000 AND GET ME SPECIAL FAVORS. 506 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000 I DON'T NEED YOU TO DO THAT. 507 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000 OKAY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO DO THAT. 508 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000 HE'S MY FATHER, AND HE'S MY BOSS. 509 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,000 IN THIS CASE, HE'S MY BOSS. 510 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 I DEAL WITH IT. YOU GOT TO DEAL WITH IT. 511 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 OKAY. 512 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:45,000 OKAY. 513 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,000 [ SIGHS ] 514 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000 [ SIGHS ] 515 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,000 AFTER TWO MONTHS, YOU KNOW, XEROX LOOKS AT ME AND SAYS, 516 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000 "WELL, NOW WE DON'T NEED YOU ANYMORE." 517 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000 I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR THREE MONTHS. 518 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000 AND I WAS JUST SO G.D. EFFICIENT, 519 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000 I ENDED UP DOWNSIZING MYSELF. 520 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 521 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,000 YEAH, BUT HOW DOES IT WORK, CONSULTING? 522 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 CONSULTING? IT'S A RACKET, JOE. 523 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000 THAT'S WHAT IT IS. WELL, 524 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000 I DIDN'T WANT TO SAY THAT. 525 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 526 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 YOU'VE GOT THE -- I MEAN, THE COMPANY'S THERE. 527 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,000 RIGHT? YOU'VE GOT EMPLOYEES. 528 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000 THEY HIRE HER TO GO IN AND SAY, 529 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 "HEY, EMPLOYEES, DO YOUR JOB BETTER. 530 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000 "AND FASTER. 531 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000 OKAY, THAT'LL BE $10,000." 532 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,000 DAMN RIGHT. 533 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,000 WHAT, ARE YOU -- ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT 534 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000 GETTING OUT OF THE PARTY-STORE BUSINESS, JOE? 535 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,000 OH, NO, NO. NO, NO. 536 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,000 WE WERE JUST -- WE WERE JUST SAYING, 537 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,000 DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THE, UH -- THE TROLL DOLLS WITH THE HAIR? 538 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000 OH, YEAH. I HAD, LIKE, 539 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,000 10 OF THOSE GROWING UP. 540 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000 DO THEY EVEN HAVE THEM ANYMORE? 541 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000 YOU SELL THEM? YOU DON'T SELL THEM, DO YOU? 542 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 WHAT DO YOU WANT -- 3-INCH, 6-INCH? 543 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 WHAT DO YOU NEED? 544 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000 THAT'S NOT A TROLL DOLL HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 545 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000 OH! 546 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 LOOK AT JOE GO! 547 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000 WELL, IN THAT CASE, I MEANT 12-INCH. 548 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000 OH! [ LAUGHS ] 549 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,000 THAT'S THE BEER TALKING. THAT'S THE "CHERVEZA." 550 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:49,000 [ INSECTS CHIRPING ] 551 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000 HOLY SHIT! 552 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:53,000 JUST GO, MAN. JUST DO IT. 553 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000 [ SIGHS ] 554 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO HOME. 555 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000 WHAT? 556 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,000 [ SIGHS ] 557 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000 THIS IS STUPID. 558 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000 THIS IS NOT STUPID! 559 00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000 OH. 560 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000 YOU KNOW WHAT'S STUPID? 561 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000 IS COMING ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE 562 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,000 AND THEN NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 563 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,000 I MEAN, YOU ARE GONNA BE TELLING PEOPLE 564 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 ABOUT THIS ONE DAY. 565 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 YOU'RE GONNA BE LIKE, "SO I WENT TO THE GUY'S 566 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 HOUSE, RIGHT?" 567 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,000 "OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED?" 568 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:19,000 "UM... YEAH, I WENT HOME." 569 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,000 THAT IS A TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE STORY! 570 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:25,000 LOOK, I SAY GO, MAN. 571 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,000 HAVE YOUR MOMENT. YOU KNOW, IT'LL SUCK OR IT WON'T. 572 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000 AND THEN WE'LL GO GET A BEER. WHO CARES, DUDE? 573 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,000 BUT NO MATTER WHAT, 574 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,000 YOU ARE GONNA HAVE YOURSELF A STORY, MY FRIEND. 575 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,000 BOO-YAH! 576 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000 THATABOY. 577 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000 JUST SO YOU KNOW, 578 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:44,000 I-I DON'T REALLY THINK I HAVE TIME TO GET A BEER. 579 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,000 YEAH, OF COURSE. THAT'S FINE. 580 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,000 I'M JUST SAYING WE COULD. 581 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000 CALLING A FRIEND OR WHATEVER. 582 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 583 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,000 [ LOCK DISENGAGES ] 584 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000 CAN I HELP YOU? 585 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,000 UH, HI. 586 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 I'M, UM... [ CLEARS THROAT ] 587 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:05,000 IS YOUR, UH... IS YOUR HUSBAND HERE? 588 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000 YES, BUT ARE YOU SELLING SOMETHING, 589 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000 BECAUSE WE DON'T -- NO, NO. 590 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,000 NO, NO, NO, I JUST WANT TO, UM... 591 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,000 IT'S KIND OF HARD TO EXPLAIN, AND I -- 592 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,000 HI, WHAT'S GOING ON? 593 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000 UM... 594 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000 UH, OKAY, UM... 595 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 596 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,000 YOU WERE DRIVING YESTERDAY, 597 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,000 AND YOU BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN, AND YOU ALMOST HIT ME. 598 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:31,000 OKAY. 599 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:36,000 I-I MEAN, I DON'T... 600 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,000 WAS THIS IN THE VALLEY, OVER BY WOODBRIDGE? 601 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000 YEAH. 602 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,000 OKAY, SO, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE THE -- YOU'RE -- 603 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000 IS THAT WHY YOU KNOCKED ON MY WINDOW? 604 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. 605 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,000 YEAH, I-I UNDERSTAND. 606 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000 UM, WELL, I-I HAD NO -- 607 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,000 I-I DIDN'T THINK I BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN. 608 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,000 BUT IF I DID, LOOK, I'M -- I'M REALLY SORRY. 609 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,000 YEAH, WELL, YOU ALMOST HIT ME. 610 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,000 RIGHT. 611 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000 I-I-I GUESS I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 612 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000 I MEAN... 613 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000 ARE THE COPS HERE OR SOMETHING? 614 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 NO. NO, NO, NO. NO ONE'S HERE EXCEPT ME. 615 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,000 OKAY, BUDDY, UM... 616 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,000 I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON, 617 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000 BUT I THINK IT'S -- I THINK YOU BETTER GO. 618 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000 I-I'M GONNA CALL THE POLICE. 619 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,000 YEAH. 620 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,000 NO, NO. I-I'M NOT TRYING TO -- 621 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000 HEY, HEY! HEY, HEY, HEY! 622 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000 [ DOOR SLAMS, LOCK ENGAGES ] 623 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,000 YEAH. 624 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 Michelle: [ LAUGHS ] Joe: I DON'T KNOW. 625 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 I HAVE A LOT OF FAKE VOMIT IN THE STORE, SO... 626 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 I LOVE THAT STUFF. I USED TO -- 627 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,000 YOU KNOW, THE WHOOPEE CUSHION IS THE BIGGEST SELLER, REALLY. 628 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000 I BET. IT -- THAT DOESN'T SURPRISE ME. 629 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 OH, MY GOD. WHAT IS IT, LIKE, A THOUSAND DEGREES IN HERE? 630 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000 DID YOU GUYS TURN OFF THE AIR-CONDITIONING 631 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,000 SO WE COULD ALL GET NAKED? 632 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,000 OH, YES, YES, YES. MY EVIL PLAN IS WORKING. 633 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000 WELL, IT IS NOT GONNA WORK WITH ME. 634 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000 MNH-MNH. JOE, HOLD THIS. 635 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,000 HOLD THIS RIGHT NOW, PLEASE. 636 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,000 [ SIGHS ] WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? 637 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,000 OH, GOD, PEOPLE WHO WERE SUPPOSED TO WATCH MICHELLE, 638 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,000 YOU'RE FIRED. 639 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,000 THERE SHE GOES. 640 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000 DIDN'T I SEE THIS SHOW DOWN AT THE SPEARMINT RHINO? 641 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,000 OH! SEXUAL HARASSMENT! 642 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,000 OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 643 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 THAT'S NOT FUNNY. JOE, SCRUNCHY. 644 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 COME HERE. 645 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,000 I'M RAMBO. 646 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,000 OH, IT'S NICE. 647 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000 THAT'S HOT. 648 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,000 THIS IS ME. 649 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000 HEY, MORT'S IN THE SWIMMING POOL WITH HIS CLOTHES ON! 650 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 OH, HERE WE GO, PEOPLE. 651 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,000 HEY, STUPID, YOU STILL GOT YOUR BlackBerry IN YOUR POCKET? 652 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:28,000 YEAH? 653 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:29,000 THAT LOOKS VERY HOT. 654 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,000 THIS IS LIKE FA-- FABIO. 655 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000 FABIO? YEAH. 656 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,000 [ CHUCKLES ] YEAH. 657 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,000 YEAH, CIRCA 1992. WE LIKE THAT, HMM? 658 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,000 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 659 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Chet: HEY! HEY! 660 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000 HEY, HEY, HEY, GUYS, GET A ROOM, HUH? 661 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,000 THIS -- THIS IS A ROOM. 662 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,000 THAT'S A GOOD POINT. 663 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000 THIS IS A ROOM, ISN'T IT? 664 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,000 YEAH, THERE'S A NAKED MAN IN THE POOL. 665 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 666 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,000 OKAY? 667 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000 HI. 668 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 YOU KNOW -- YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GOT TO GO. 669 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000 I'VE GOT TO GO. HMM? OH. 670 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000 YEAH, I'VE GOT -- MY -- MY KIDS, UH... 671 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,000 THEY'RE -- THEY'RE WAITING FOR ME TO PICK THEM UP. 672 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000 AND, UH... OH, OKAY. 673 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,000 YEAH, THEY'RE PROBABLY WAITING FOR ME. 674 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,000 OH. SORRY. 675 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,000 HEY, CHET, GOOD LUCK WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING. 676 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,000 WHERE IS IT AGAIN? UH, DENVER. 677 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,000 OUT-- OUTSIDE OF DENVER. 678 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,000 GOOD LUCK, MAN. THANKS. 679 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000 UH, I'LL -- YOU KNOW, MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN. 680 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000 THANKS, MAN. THANKS FOR COMING. 681 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,000 NO, IT'S FUN. IT WAS FUN. 682 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,000 I HAVE MY KIDS, AND I'VE GOT TO PICK THEM UP. 683 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000 WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN, ALL RIGHT? THANKS FOR COMING, JOE. 684 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,000 Michelle: BYE. BYE, JOE. 685 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,000 Woman: SEE YOU LATER, JOE. 686 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,000 ALL RIGHT, BYE, GUYS. 687 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,000 [ VIDEO GAME BEEPING ] 688 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,000 [ HORN HONKS ] 689 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000 DAD'S HERE! 690 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,000 BYE, MOM! 691 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000 Sonia: BYE, GUYS! 692 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000 ALBERT, BRING THAT PERMISSION SLIP HOME 693 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,000 FOR ME TO SIGN FOR THE SeaWorld TRIP. 694 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 HE'S NOT LISTENING, MOM. 695 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,000 COME ON! I'M LATE EVERY DAY BECAUSE OF YOU! 696 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,000 I'M SAVING THE GAME, STUPID. 697 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000 AND WHEN WERE WE LATE, LIAR? 698 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,000 YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR. 699 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,000 HEY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYING WITH THAT 700 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,000 IN THE MORNING ANYWAY. 701 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 COME ON. COME ON. HEY. 702 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,000 Albert: ALL RIGHT. COME ON. OH, HI. 703 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,000 HI. COME ON. ALBERT, LET'S GO. 704 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000 COME ON. I'M GOOD. 705 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,000 COME ON, YOU'RE LATE ALREADY. 706 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,000 BYE, MOM. BYE. 707 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,000 YOU CAN'T PLAY THAT NOW. 708 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,000 UH...OKAY, GO. 709 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 GET IN THE CAR. COME ON. BE RIGHT THERE. 710 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:23,000 HEY, UM, I NEED TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR EYE GUY. 711 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,000 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, I CAN'T EVEN READ A DAMN MENU ANYMORE. 712 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,000 OKAY. I'LL TEXT YOU HER NUMBER. 713 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,000 YEAH. YEAH, OKAY. 714 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:30,000 EXCEPT I CAN'T SEE THE BUTTONS ON MY THING, 715 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000 SO I THINK WE'RE BOTH SCREWED. 716 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 717 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,000 WE GOT OLD. YEAH. 718 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,000 I'M LIKE SIX MONTHS AWAY FROM FLOMAX. 719 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:38,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 720 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,000 ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 721 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000 OKAY. BYE. 722 00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,000 BYE-BYE. 723 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:49,000 HEY, UH... I JUST WANT TO ASK YOU. 724 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,000 WHAT'S... 725 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,000 WHAT -- I'M JUST TRYING TO... 726 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 FIGURE OUT WHAT'S -- 727 00:25:56,000 --> 00:26:00,000 WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH US, AS JUST DATING GOES? 728 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,000 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 729 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:06,000 ARE YOU -- I MEAN, DID YOU MEET SOMEONE? 730 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,000 NO. NO, I DID NOT. NO. 731 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,000 WELL, I MEAN, IT'S OKAY IF YOU DID BECAUSE, YOU KNOW -- 732 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,000 NO, I DIDN'T. I DIDN'T MEET ANYBODY. 733 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,000 OKAY, OKAY. YOU'VE MET NO ONE. 734 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,000 YEAH, NO, I'M JUST... 735 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,000 I DON'T KNOW. I'M A LITTLE CONFUSED. 736 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,000 [ STAMMERS ] 737 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:26,000 YOU KNOW, UH, I'M JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT THE GROUND RULES. 738 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000 WELL, THERE ARE NO RULES, JOE. 739 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:33,000 YOU JUST NEED TO DO WHATEVER FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. 740 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000 YEAH, I KNOW. I MEAN, THAT'S... 741 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000 I MEAN, THAT'S WHY IT'S CONFUSING. I... 742 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,000 YOU KNOW, WHAT'S THE RIGHT ANSWER? WHO KNOWS? 743 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 744 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000 YEAH, WELL... 745 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:52,000 MAYBE IT WOULD BE... HEALTHY FOR US TO... 746 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,000 YEAH. 747 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000 YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE. 748 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,000 YEAH, WE'LL DO IT AS WE GO. 749 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:02,000 WE'LL FIND OUT IF IT FEELS RIGHT. WE'LL KNOW. 750 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:03,000 YEAH, RIGHT. SEE WHAT HAPPENS. 751 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,000 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, LET ME GO. 752 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000 WHOA. YEAH, GO. 753 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000 DON'T BE LATE. 754 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,000 ALL RIGHT, AND GIVE ME THE NUMBER, 755 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,000 'CAUSE MY EYES SUCK NOW. 756 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000 OKAY, I'LL TEXT YOU. ALL RIGHT. 757 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:13,000 JUST KIDDING ABOUT THE FLOMAX. 758 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,000 EVERYTHING'S GOOD DOWN THERE, YOU KNOW. ALL RIGHT. 759 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:23,000 [ SIGHS, CLEARS THROAT ] 760 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,000 Woman on P.A.: USED CARS, YOU HAVE A CALL HOLDING ON LINE 2. 761 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,000 NO, NO. YOU HANDLED IT FINE. 762 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,000 I MEAN, COME WALKING RIGHT INTO MY OFFICE, NOW, 763 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,000 GONNA TELL ME HOW TO HANDLE MY EMPLOYEES. 764 00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:34,000 AND I'VE BEEN DOING THIS 40 YEARS. 765 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000 THAT'S NOT RIGHT. 766 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:39,000 NOW, SHE COME CALLING ME UP YESTERDAY AND APOLOGIZED. 767 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,000 SHE KNEW SHE WAS WRONG. MM-HMM. 768 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,000 I MEAN, GOING ON AND ON AND ON AND ON 769 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,000 ABOUT HOW SHE WAS IN THE BUSINESS WORLD. 770 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000 NOW, YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING? 771 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,000 WHAT? 772 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,000 MAGAZINE WRITING OR FOOD WRITING OR SOME NONSENSE LIKE THAT. 773 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:53,000 AND NOW SHE'S GONNA TELL ME ABOUT THE CAR BUSINESS. 774 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000 IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE SAME BUSINESS. 775 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,000 YEAH. 776 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000 WHAT WAS IT YOU SAID SHE CALLED ME? 777 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,000 A DICKHOLE. 778 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000 [ LAUGHS ] 779 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:03,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 780 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 781 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,000 POOR LITTLE THING CAN'T EVEN INSULT A PERSON CORRECTLY. 782 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,000 SO, UH, MELISSA CALLED YOU? 783 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,000 UH, YES, SHE DID. 784 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 AND I, UM... I GIVE HER CREDIT FOR THAT. 785 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,000 SHE ONLY CALLED YOU BECAUSE I ASKED HER TO. 786 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,000 OKAY. 787 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,000 I MEAN, IT WAS VERY WRONG, WHAT SHE DID. 788 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,000 WELL, I AGREE. 789 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,000 OF -- OF COURSE, 790 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,000 SHE WASN'T WRONG AT ALL ABOUT WHAT SHE WAS SAYING. 791 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:29,000 I SEE. 792 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000 SO IT'S OKAY IF I GIVE YOU A CAR TO DRIVE 793 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000 THAT YOU DON'T DESERVE? 794 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000 OH, ABSOLUTELY NOT. BUT I DO DESERVE A BETTER CAR. 795 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 I DRIVE, BY FAR, THE WORST DEMO ON THE LOT. 796 00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,000 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. AM I THE WORST SALESMAN ON THE LOT? 797 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,000 WELL... 798 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:45,000 BRUCE? 799 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,000 YOU ARE HAVING A BAD MONTH, SON, 800 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,000 BUT I DON'T THINK LAWRENCE HAS SOLD A CAR IN THREE WEEKS. 801 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,000 REALLY? DO WE HAVE TO GO THERE? 802 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,000 OKAY, SO, WHY DOES THE NOT-WORST SALESMAN 803 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:58,000 HAVE THE WORST CAR? 804 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,000 THAT ISN'T A MERITOCRACY, IS IT? 805 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,000 I MEAN, THAT -- THAT'S JUST... 806 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:07,000 SHITTING ON ME BECAUSE I'M YOUR SON. 807 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000 AND HOW ABOUT ALL THE TIMES YOU LET A GUY 808 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000 SLIDE THROUGH A BAD MONTH WITHOUT TAKING AWAY HIS CAR? 809 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:14,000 I KNOW I ALWAYS GOT TO GIVE MINE UP THE MINUTE MY NUMBERS DROP. 810 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000 YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT FAVORITISM. 811 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,000 BUT IN MY CASE, IT'S THE OPPOSITE OF FAVORITISM. 812 00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:23,000 IT'S, UH... 813 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 SHIT-ITISM. 814 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000 [ CHUCKLING ] 815 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,000 SHIT-ITISM. 816 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:41,000 FINANCE, PICK UP LINE 5. FINANCE, LINE 5. 817 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:46,000 THE WHOLE DAMN FAMILY CAN'T TALK. 818 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN PUT ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THESE PIÑATAS, 819 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:49,000 NOT JUST CANDY. 820 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000 ZACH HAD YO-YOS IN HIS PIÑATA. 821 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000 YO-YOS? WOW, THAT'S, UH... THAT'S PRETTY COOL. 822 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 YOU COULD DEFINITELY DO THAT IF YOU WANTED. 823 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000 UH, I'M GONNA BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY, 824 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,000 SO WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AROUND? 825 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 AND WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF YO-YOS IF YOU WANT THEM. 826 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 HEY. HEY, WHAT'S UP? OH, HEY. 827 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000 YEAH, I HAD A DROP-OFF IN THE AREA. 828 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000 I THOUGHT, "SCREW IT, LET'S SETTLE UP NOW." 829 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000 CAN YOU WEAR THESE UNDERWATER? 830 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:13,000 LET'S GO IN MY OFFICE. COME ON. 831 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,000 THAT IS A QUALITY MASK. 832 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000 YEAH. I'M GONNA 833 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,000 GET A COUPLE OF THOSE. 834 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:18,000 LISTEN, UH, YOU CAN'T -- 835 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,000 YOU CAN'T COME HERE DURING THE DAY 836 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:21,000 WHEN THE STORE'S OPEN LIKE THIS. 837 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000 TAKE IT EASY, JOE. I'M NOT A CRIMINAL, OKAY? 838 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000 YEAH, NO, I KNOW. IT'S JUST... 839 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,000 YOU KNOW, WHAT YOU DO, IT'S NOT EXACTLY LEGAL. 840 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:31,000 I GET IT. I GET IT. 841 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,000 SO, UH, I THINK $300 THIS WEEK, RIGHT? 842 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000 TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IF I WASN'T DOING THIS, 843 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000 I WOULD CHECK OUT THE WHOLE PARTY-STORE RACKET. 844 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:41,000 EVERYBODY'S HAPPY. 845 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000 PLANNING ALL THE FUN SHIT THEY'RE GONNA DO. 846 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000 IT'S A GOOD ATMOSPHERE. 847 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,000 EVERYBODY'S FRICKING SMILING OUT THERE. 848 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000 EXCEPT THE PUERTO RICAN OLD DUDE. 849 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000 BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. 850 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000 YEAH. THAT'S CARLOS. 851 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:55,000 HE'S -- HE DON'T SMILE MUCH, NO, BUT HE'S GOOD. 852 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,000 HE'S A GOOD GUY. 853 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,000 WHAT ABOUT TONIGHT? YOU WANT SOMETHING? 854 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000 UH...HOW ABOUT SATURDAY? WHAT'S THE, UH -- 855 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,000 WHAT'S THE OVER/UNDER ON THE SATURDAY GAME? 856 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:06,000 158. YOU THROWING THIS OUT? 857 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,000 YOU CAN HAVE THAT. 858 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,000 UH, LET'S SEE. GIVE, UM... 859 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,000 UH... 860 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,000 GIVE ME $2,000 ON THE OVER. 861 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000 WHOA. 862 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 $2,000? 863 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000 WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY? 864 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,000 YEAH. HEY, IT'S A NEW DAY, RIGHT? 865 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,000 NEW DAY. 866 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000 NEW JOE. 867 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,000 YEAH? WELL, NEW COKE SUCKED, SO BE CAREFUL. 868 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000 YEAH, I'M OKAY, BUT THAT'S IT. 869 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:36,000 YEAH, LET'S GO WITH THAT. $2,000, OVER. 870 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000 OKAY, WEIRD JOE, YOU GOT IT. 871 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,000 WHAT DO YOU GOT, SOME KIND OF NEW SYSTEM YOU'RE TRYING OUT? 872 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,000 'CAUSE THAT NEVER WORKS. 873 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:45,000 I DON'T -- DO YOU WANT TO TALK ME OUT OF IT? 874 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,000 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE THE WORST SALESMAN EVER. 875 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000 HEY, THIS SHIT SELLS ITSELF. 876 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,000 I'M LIKE A HOOKER. 877 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000 I COULD TELL YOU MY PUSSY STINKS AND IT'S TOO BIG. 878 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:55,000 BUT IF YOU'RE HORNY, YOU'RE STILL GONNA POKE IT. 879 00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:59,000 SO, NO MORE COMING DURING THE DAY, RIGHT? 880 00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,000 RIGHT. GOT IT. OKAY. 881 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,000 HEY, NO, NO, NO. GO OUT THAT WAY. 882 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,000 YEAH, THAT'S THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THERE. 883 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,000 YOUR CAR'S RIGHT THERE. 884 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000 ALL RIGHT, CATCH YOU NEXT TIME. 885 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000 ALL RIGHT. 886 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:19,000 [ SIGHS ] 887 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,000 HMM. 888 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:29,000 SO, WHERE ARE YOUR TWO BUDDIES? 889 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,000 YEAH. YEAH, THOSE GUYS. 890 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,000 UM, THEY FOUND OUT YOU'RE 25, 891 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,000 SO I THINK THEY'RE BOTH HOME TAKING A COLD SHOWER. 892 00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,000 [ Laughing ] OH! 893 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,000 THEY'RE CUTE. 894 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,000 YEAH, WELL, YOU WON'T THINK IT'S CUTE 895 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,000 WHEN THEY'RE OUTSIDE WITH THEIR PENISES 896 00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,000 PRESSED UP AGAINST THE GLASS. 897 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000 [ LAUGHS ] YEAH. 898 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000 YOU'D BE SURPRISED. 899 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,000 SEE YOU LATER. BYE. 900 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 WHOA! HEY! 901 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000 RIGHT? 902 00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,000 [ TIRES SCREECH ] WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 903 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000 [ DOOR OPENS ] 904 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000 GET OFF THE PHONE, YOU -- 905 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,000 HEY! 906 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 [ INTRO TO COVEN'S "ONE TIN SOLDIER" PLAYS ] 907 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,000 COME HERE, ASSHOLE. 908 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000 HEY, HEY! 909 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,000 [ TIRES SCREECHING ] ♪ LISTEN, CHILDREN, TO A STORY ♪ 910 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000 ♪ THAT WAS WRITTEN LONG AGO ♪ 911 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,000 [ ENGINE REVVING ] 912 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,000 [ LAUGHS ] 913 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000 ♪ AND A VALLEY FAR BELOW ♪ 914 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:35,000 MIKE: Yo, Claude? Yo, man. 915 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Claude? Claude, pick up. 916 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,000 HEY, WHO'S THIS? 917 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 This is Mike. Who's this? Where's Claude? 918 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 HEY, MIKE. THIS IS TERRY. 919 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 CLAUDE WANTED ME TO TELL YOU 920 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,000 THAT HE'S GONNA BE A LITTLE LATE. 921 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,000 AND THE REASON IS BECAUSE HE'S A DICK. 922 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000 ♪ GO AHEAD AND CHEAT A FRIEND ♪ 923 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:55,000 ♪ DO IT IN THE NAME OF HEAVEN ♪ 924 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,000 ♪ YOU CAN JUSTIFY IT IN THE END ♪ 925 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,000 ♪ THERE WON'T BE ANY TRUMPETS BLOWING ♪ 926 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000 ♪ ON THE JUDGMENT DAY ♪ 927 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000 ♪ ON THE BLOODY MORNING AFTER ♪ 928 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000 Claude: HEY! 929 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,000 WOW. HE'S FAST. ♪ ONE TIN SOLDIER RIDES AWAY ♪ 930 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:18,000 THEY'LL BE UP THERE. 931 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000 ♪ OOH, HOO, HOO ♪ 932 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000 [ LAUGHS ] 933 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:29,000 ♪ ONE TIN SOLDIER RIDES AWAY ♪ 934 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,000 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] 935 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:59,000 [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ] 936 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000 [ INDISTINCT TALKING OVER P.A. ] 937 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:13,000 WHAT'S GOING ON, DADDY? 938 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,000 GIVE ME THE KEYS, SON. 939 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,000 GO ON, PICK WHICHEVER ONE YOU'D LIKE. 940 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,000 OH. OH, OKAY, UM... 941 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 942 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:32,000 I, UM... 943 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,000 THANK YOU. 944 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,000 [ ENGINE REVS ] 945 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,000 [ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ] 946 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000 [ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ] 947 00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:58,000 REALLY? 948 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000 YOU LIKE IT? 949 00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,000 [ CHUCKLES ] HERE, CHECK THIS OUT. 950 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000 [ ALARM CHIRPS ] MM. 951 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,000 PLENTY OF ROOM FOR FOOTBALL EQUIPMENT. 952 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,000 [ LAUGHS ] 953 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,000 YEAH. 954 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,000 I'M GONNA TAKE IT BACK TOMORROW. 955 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,000 BUT TODAY... [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 956 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000 WE'RE JUST PISSING OFF MARCUS. 957 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:17,000 HMM? HEY, SWEETIE. 958 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,000 [ Chuckling ] HEY. 959 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000 THANK YOU FOR MAKING THE CALL TODAY. 960 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:22,000 ANYTIME. 961 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000 YOU GOT A CORVETTE OUT OF IT. 962 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 963 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:26,000 FOR ONE NIGHT. 964 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 965 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,000 [ TOILET FLUSHES ] 966 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,000 SO... YOU GOT IN THE CAR? 967 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000 GOT IN. DROVE ABOUT A HALF MILE AWAY. 968 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,000 DUDE WAS FAST. YOU KNOW, FOR A BIG GUY. 969 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000 LIKE, LIKE STEROIDS-FAST. 970 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:41,000 THAT IS, UH...I DON'T KNOW. IS THAT STUPID OR GREAT? 971 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,000 BOTH. THROW IT UNDERNEATH. 972 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,000 OH! 973 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:46,000 WHOA! 974 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000 WOW. I MEAN, THAT GUY WAS ABOVE THE BACKBOARD ON THAT ONE. 975 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,000 HUH? 976 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,000 YOU WANT TO SEE THAT AGAIN? HANG ON. 977 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:52,000 NO, THEY'RE GONNA DO A REPLAY. DON'T DO THAT. 978 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,000 OH, THIS THING IS AWESOME. 979 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:57,000 YOU CAN SLO-MO THE SLO...MO. 980 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,000 NICE! 981 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000 OKAY, WELCOME TO THE 20th CENTURY. 982 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000 ACTUALLY, IT'S THE 21st CENTURY. 983 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,000 YEAH, THAT'S THE JOKE, DICKHEAD. 984 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000 JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU KNEW. 985 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000 I KNOW. 986 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,000 ALL RIGHT, PUT THE GAME BACK. 987 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,000 YEAH, OKAY, WELL, WATCH THIS, HUH? 988 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,000 I CAN GO FRAME BY FRAME. 989 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000 STOP, PUT THE GAME ON. 990 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,000 WAIT. 991 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,000 UM...OH, SHIT. 992 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:17,000 INPUT. INPUT. 993 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000 WAIT. WAIT. HOLD ON. 994 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 NO, YOU -- YOU HIT THE "VIDEO" INSTEAD OF THE "INPUT." 995 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000 "VIDEO INPUT"? 996 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,000 RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE. 997 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,000 COME ON. IT'S THE END OF THE GAME. 998 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:27,000 8 SECONDS NOW. 999 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,000 [ SCOFFS ] 1000 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,000 [ REMOTE BEEPS ] 1001 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:34,000 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1002 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000 SO, YOU'RE GAMBLING AGAIN? 1003 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000 WHAT? NO. 1004 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,000 THEY'RE UP 10 POINTS. 1005 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,000 WHY DO YOU CARE IF THE LAST SHOT GOES IN? 1006 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 1007 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,000 JUST PLAY THE STUPID GAME. COME ON. 1008 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000 [ REMOTE BEEPS ] 1009 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,000 NOT FUNNY. PLAY IT. 1010 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:54,000 WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? SERIOUSLY? 1011 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000 YOU SCREWED UP YOUR MARRIAGE WITH THIS SHIT, 1012 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000 AND NOW YOU'RE BACK AT IT AGAIN? 1013 00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:58,000 I AM NOT GAMBLING. 1014 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? TURN IT TO THE TRAVEL CHANNEL. 1015 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000 I THINK THEY'VE GOT THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS ON. 1016 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,000 WE CAN WATCH SOME HIGH-DEF BULL SNOT. 1017 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,000 WELL, YOU KNOW, MELISSA WAS WATCHING THIS COOKING SHOW, 1018 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY SEE THE LITTLE BEADS OF JUICE. 1019 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. TURN IT OFF, DICKS. 1020 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,000 TURN IT OFF, ALL RIGHT. I DON'T CARE. 1021 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,000 YES, YOU DO. YOU'RE LYING. 1022 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000 NO, I'M NOT LYING. 1023 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,000 FINE. 1024 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,000 [ REMOTE BEEPING ] 1025 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,000 OH, GOD, YOU GUYS. YOU KNOW. 1026 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000 FIRST -- LISTEN TO ME. I'M AN ADULT. 1027 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:23,000 I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, ALL RIGHT. 1028 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000 YOU ASSHOLE. THERE IT IS. 1029 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000 THERE IT IS. 1030 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,000 WELL, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M AN ADULT. 1031 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000 I-I-I CAN MAKE UP MY OWN MIND, ALL RIGHT. 1032 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,000 I'M 47 YEARS OLD! 1033 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:30,000 47? 1034 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE 48. 1035 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000 NO. YOU CAN'T BE 47, 1036 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000 BECAUSE I'M 49. 1037 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,000 I -- OH, SHIT. HOW OLD AM I? 1038 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000 MELISSA, HOW OLD IS JOE? 1039 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,000 HE'S 48. 1040 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,000 YOU'RE 48, MAN. HOLY SHIT. 1041 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 YOU KNOW, EITHER WAY, YOU'RE TOO OLD TO BE GAMBLING, OKAY? 1042 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:44,000 YES, IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU GO AROUND ALL MOPEY 1043 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000 TALKING ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH SONIA. 1044 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:49,000 SO WHAT I FIND REALLY AMAZING IS THAT YOU THINK 1045 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,000 THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHILE YOU'RE PULLING THIS SHIT. 1046 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,000 I'M NOT PULLING ANY SHIT. 1047 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 IF YOU WANT THERE TO BE ANY CHANCE OF SAVING 1048 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 YOUR MARRIAGE -- 1049 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:57,000 THERE IS NO CHANCE! THERE'S NO CHANCE, OKAY?! 1050 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,000 THERE -- I TALKED TO HER TODAY! 1051 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000 AND I ASKED HER IF WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE, 1052 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:00,000 AND SHE SAID YES! 1053 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 OKAY?! 1054 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,000 YOU GUYS. 1055 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,000 YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS, YOU'RE ALWAYS TELLING ME, "MOVE ON." 1056 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,000 I-I'M MOVING ON. ALL RIGHT? 1057 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000 SO THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO. 1058 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000 WE'RE SEEING OTHER PEOPLE, ALL RIGHT? 1059 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000 SO I CAN DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT. 1060 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000 GET OFF MY BACK. 1061 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:19,000 YOU'RE SEEING SOMEBODY? 1062 00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,000 NO. I'M...I'M NOT. 1063 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,000 THERE'S OPPORTUNITIES, THOUGH. 1064 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000 "OPPORTUNITIES." 1065 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000 HEY. WELL, ALL RIGHT. 1066 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,000 WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 1067 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,000 NOBODY. 1068 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000 IT'S NOT THE CASHIER FROM THE STORE, IS IT? 1069 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000 THE HEAVY GAL? 1070 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,000 SERIOUSLY, THAT'S WHO YOU GO TO RIGHT AWAY? 1071 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,000 THAT'S -- THAT'S ME? 1072 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,000 NO, I JUST FIGURED, YOU KNOW, 1073 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,000 YOU START WITH... THE LOW-HANGING FRUIT. 1074 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:43,000 WHO IS IT? 1075 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 1076 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,000 THERE'S NOBODY, MAN. 1077 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,000 NOBODY. THERE -- THERE WAS A WOMAN AT THE HOTEL. 1078 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:52,000 I WENT TO A THING, AND SHE MADE OUT WITH ME. 1079 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,000 YES, SIR! 1080 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000 OH, THAT BOY! 1081 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 YEAH, OKAY. 1082 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,000 WAS SHE HEAVY? 1083 00:39:58,000 --> 00:39:59,000 OKAY, OKAY. 1084 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:00,000 ALSO, I'M NOT SAYING THE -- 1085 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,000 THE FANTASY WOMAN WAS FLIRTING WITH ME, 1086 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,000 BUT...THERE WAS SOMETHING. IT WAS SOMETHING. 1087 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,000 UM, YOU HAVE NO CHANCE WITH THAT WOMAN. 1088 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000 NONE. WHICH IS -- WHICH IS -- 1089 00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:10,000 WHICH IS FINE. 1090 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,000 LET'S JUST, UH, STAY FOCUSED ON REALITY, YOU KNOW? 1091 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,000 YOU KNOW, LOOK, I MEAN, THIS -- THIS TALK 1092 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,000 YOU HAD WITH SONIA, 1093 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 RIGHT, IT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD. 1094 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 YEAH. IT'S GOOD. 1095 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 IT'S GOOD, DUDE. 1096 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:23,000 I MEAN, WE'RE, UM... WHAT? 1097 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,000 WE'RE PROUD OF YOU. 1098 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:27,000 YEAH, OKAY. 1099 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,000 NO, NO, I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT. 1100 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:30,000 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 1101 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,000 ALSO, YOU -- I LOVE YOU. 1102 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,000 I LOVE YOU, JOE. 1103 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,000 OKAY, SHUT UP. NO, NO! 1104 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,000 NO, NO, WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET IT ALL OUT? 1105 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000 STOP IT, MAN. JUST STOP IT. 1106 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:43,000 THIS IS BULLSHIT. COME ON, LET'S BRING IT IN. 1107 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,000 BRING IT IN, GUYS. GET OVER HERE. 1108 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,000 BRING IT IN RIGHT HERE. WE DID THIS 1109 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,000 AT MY BACHELOR PARTY. 1110 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000 YEAH! COME ON! 1111 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000 ALL RIGHT. GOOD, GOOD. 1112 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,000 ALL RIGHT. ALL DONE. CAN WE WATCH THE END, MAN? 1113 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,000 THERE'S HALF A SECOND LEFT. 1114 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000 OH, MY GOD. 1115 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,000 FINE, YOU DEGENERATE. 1116 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000 Announcer: PUTS UP A 3! 1117 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,000 YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 1118 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,000 AT THE BUZZER! POINTER AT THE BUZZER! 3-POINTER AT THE BUZZER! 1119 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:11,000 YEAH. THAT'S A BUZZER-BEATER. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, HULK? 1120 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:12,000 MR. HULK! 1121 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000 I GUESS HE WON. 1122 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:15,000 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? YOU GOT A PROBLEM? 1123 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,000 SERIOUSLY? YOU GOT A PROBLEM? 1124 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,000 YOU GOT A PROBLEM? YOU GOT A PROBLEM? 1125 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,000 HUH? 1126 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,000 [ GRUNTING ] 1127 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,000 [ AIR HISSING ] 1128 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,000 I'VE GOT TO GO. 1129 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:40,000 YEAH, UM... IT'S KIND OF LATE. 1130 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:43,000 WE'LL, UH, DO SOME HIKING IN THE MORNING, OKAY, BUDDY? 1131 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,000 YEAH. 6:30, RIGHT? 1132 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000 YEAH. SOUNDS GOOD. SURE. 1133 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:49,000 HEY, UH, I'M SORRY ABOUT... 1134 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000 OH, WELL, IT -- IT WAS -- IT WAS LEAKING ANYWAY. 1135 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000 I'VE GOT ALL OF THIS INFLATABLE CRAP AT THE STORE. 1136 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,000 SO, YOU KNOW, LET THE KIDS COME DOWN, 1137 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,000 THEY CAN PICK OUT WHATEVER THEY WANT. 1138 00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,000 I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE OUT OF THE HULK, THOUGH. 1139 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,000 IT'S FINE. 1140 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,000 [ SIGHS, SNIFFLES ] 1141 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,000 ALL RIGHT, SO I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER. 1142 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,000 [ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ] 1143 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:18,000 DIDN'T YOU DRIVE HIM HERE? 1144 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000 YEAH. 1145 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:23,000 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 74276

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