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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,651 (upbeat music) 2 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:27,460 - [Jerry] Joseph, quiet room, now. 3 00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,497 - Oh my god, what's wrong? 4 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,731 Jerry, what is it? 5 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,502 God, Jerry, are you okay? 6 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,703 - Yeah. 7 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,338 - So what's wrong, what happened? 8 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,305 - I think I have syphilis. 9 00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,707 And maybe gonorrhea too. 10 00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:42,242 I really can't tell. 11 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:44,711 I'm so sorry. 12 00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:46,746 Yeah, yeah, hey, can you get the fuck out? 13 00:00:47,947 --> 00:00:48,715 Thank you. 14 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,650 - Thank you. 15 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,619 So what do you think it was something that you ate maybe? 16 00:00:52,652 --> 00:00:54,220 - No, I had sex last night. 17 00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,321 - Oh my god with who? 18 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,456 - I can't say. 19 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:57,457 - Not Christine. 20 00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,526 - No, she must be, what my age? 21 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,227 - So was it with a prostitute? 22 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:02,162 - Ew, no. 23 00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,430 - Not Mary. 24 00:01:03,463 --> 00:01:04,397 - No I just said it wasn't a prostitute. 25 00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:05,265 - Well then who? 26 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:06,499 - Look, I can't, okay? 27 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,201 She made me promise to tell anyone. 28 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:09,302 - It's fine, just tell me. 29 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:10,403 - It was Tuva. 30 00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:13,206 (upbeat music) 31 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,187 (woman choking) 32 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:33,293 I mean, obviously I've had lots of experience 33 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:37,330 but Tuva can do things I've only seen possible with CGI. 34 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,699 - Right, who's got a poorly dick? 35 00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,501 - Quintin, thank God. 36 00:01:41,534 --> 00:01:43,336 - I mean, how did this even end up happening, Jerry? 37 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,305 - Quintin, have you seen the film Avatar? 38 00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:46,473 - Why, has it turned blue? 39 00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:47,841 - No, but look. 40 00:01:47,874 --> 00:01:49,442 - Oh god no. 41 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:51,177 - Hey, hey, don't turn away. 42 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,312 I mean, that's just rude. 43 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,616 (Jerry gasps) 44 00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,857 Have you seen anything like it? 45 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,492 - Only in livestock. 46 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,328 - Fantastic appraisal scores 47 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,730 off the back of that NHS scenario, Chris. 48 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,433 - Sorry, where did you say you were again? 49 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,567 - I actually don't know. 50 00:02:15,835 --> 00:02:19,539 There was one area where you seem to have failed. 51 00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:20,774 - [Chris] Failed? 52 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,411 - Yes, it was in staff welfare and management. 53 00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:25,345 - Get out! 54 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:27,313 (woman coughs) 55 00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:28,214 Why? 56 00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,717 - Be gentle please (gasps). 57 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,686 Mother! 58 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:33,853 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 59 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,221 Just gonna try again, okay? 60 00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,423 - Okay, okay. 61 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:39,659 - It looks like subepidermal hematoma. 62 00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,695 - Oh my god, is that fatal? 63 00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,230 - No, no, no, it's just trauma. 64 00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:45,598 What exactly happened? 65 00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:48,301 Did she punch you in the penis? 66 00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:51,738 - I mean, there was. 67 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:54,808 No. 68 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,409 - Why is it still erect? 69 00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,711 - It's not erect. 70 00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:04,317 - Hey. 71 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,852 - Hey, you all right? 72 00:03:09,322 --> 00:03:11,424 (fart squelches) 73 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,626 - I'm so sorry. 74 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:16,496 I think I've had too much baraka. 75 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,565 - You know they're not suppositories, right? 76 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,303 - Good morning. 77 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:24,838 - Oh gosh, are you okay? - Yeah. 78 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,373 (fart squelches) 79 00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:27,741 (groans) Are you okay? 80 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:32,645 - Good morning team, valued staff members. 81 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,286 Right, who'd like some raisins? 82 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:43,523 - Yeah, actually I would Chris, thanks. 83 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:45,425 I'm absolutely ravenous. 84 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,760 I had a big night last night. 85 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,564 - So I know that we've all got a lot 86 00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:52,866 to be getting on with 87 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,735 but I just wanted to remind all of you 88 00:03:55,769 --> 00:04:00,373 that if ever work becomes too stressful 89 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:03,543 and you want to talk about it 90 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,912 or about anything else for that matter, 91 00:04:05,945 --> 00:04:07,313 I'm always here. 92 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:10,316 That includes you, too, Evelyn. 93 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,552 - I never find work stressful. 94 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,754 - Well, no, but if you ever wanted 95 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,890 to talk about something more personal. 96 00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:19,693 Okay, so. 97 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:20,760 - I was the first in my class to get my period. 98 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:22,529 - It doesn't have to be now. 99 00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:25,398 So I've had an update on the Dixons car phone data breach. 100 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:26,833 I do think this is going to be one for you, Mary. 101 00:04:26,866 --> 00:04:29,569 They've used a 28 bit block cipher. 102 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:30,970 - That's what my PhD was in. 103 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,605 - Exactly. 104 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,607 And no one else could bear taking it on. 105 00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:38,345 - Really, okay well it might take me a little longer 106 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:40,847 than usual because my mum's not been well. 107 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,482 She's nearly 90. 108 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,452 - She musta had you when she was very young. 109 00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,954 - You see this is a good example 110 00:04:47,987 --> 00:04:50,457 of something that you might want to come and speak 111 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,691 to me about. 112 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,828 - I'd really appreciate that actually, Chris. 113 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:58,331 She keeps telling me to go fuck myself. 114 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,403 - Well, perhaps when you've finished all this work 115 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,805 and removed all the corrupted files. 116 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,874 - Oh, right. 117 00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,443 - End of play today would be soon enough. 118 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,879 (upbeat music) 119 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:16,683 - Hey you. 120 00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,638 (women cooing) 121 00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:40,974 - Oh. 122 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,747 - Wonder if it's a boy or a girl. 123 00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:48,648 - Oh gosh. 124 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,084 I can never tell. 125 00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,619 - That's the problem with babies, 126 00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,988 they don't have boobs. 127 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,525 - No. 128 00:05:58,558 --> 00:05:59,426 - Hi. 129 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,798 - Hello darling. 130 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,566 - Well done. - Thanks. 131 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,037 - Hey, I've just been looking 132 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,906 at the Karasimov file, do we have a contact 133 00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:13,940 in linguistics who can translate Russian? 134 00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:15,709 - Have you tried Olga? 135 00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:16,943 - I can never understand what she's saying. 136 00:06:16,976 --> 00:06:18,478 - You know she's Russian. 137 00:06:18,511 --> 00:06:19,979 - Oh is that what that is? 138 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,715 Oh right. 139 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:23,450 - Thanks for the card by the way 140 00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,686 but I only celebrate my birthday every other year. 141 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,887 - Well, that's fine just keep it for next year then. 142 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,956 There's nothing in there that can go off. 143 00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:32,659 - Anything else? 144 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,128 - Well, I just wanted to let you know 145 00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:38,565 that I know about you and Jerry. 146 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,000 - Has he been mouthing me off? 147 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,902 - Oh god, he didn't say if he'd done that as well. 148 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,005 Sorry, so has this been going on for a while then? 149 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,539 I only ask just 'cause Jerry seemed 150 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,974 to imply it was like a permanent thing. 151 00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,910 - Wow, okay, well, either way, 152 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,013 I just don't like to sleep with the same person 153 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,047 more than once. 154 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,016 I think it's lazy. 155 00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,884 - Oh, no, I agree with that, me too. 156 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,686 God, yeah. 157 00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:00,553 It's boring. 158 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:05,525 But you never know, maybe one day 159 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,760 you might find that one person who you wanna settle down. 160 00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:08,528 - No, that would never work for me. 161 00:07:08,561 --> 00:07:10,864 - No, no, 'cause you're just. 162 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,068 It's funny though I was doing one of those 163 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,570 like online harmony tests things 164 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:21,841 and we actually come out as 89% I think. 165 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:24,477 - Yeah, it's that 11% I'm worried about. 166 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:27,681 - Then why sleep with Jerry? 167 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,850 - Because I don't care about him 168 00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,085 like I'd care about you. 169 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,788 But you're right, 170 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,756 I should let him know it won't happen again. 171 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:42,062 Plus he's so not over his wife. 172 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,239 (phone rings) 173 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,710 - Is everything okay? 174 00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,813 Well the district nurse will be around in a bit. 175 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:01,281 Yes, that's the one. 176 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,084 But you really can't call her that nowadays. 177 00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,185 (glass tapping) 178 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,720 - Yes? 179 00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:09,055 - Hi, Chris, do you have like 40, 45 minutes? 180 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,690 - Not that long, no. 181 00:08:10,724 --> 00:08:12,859 Is this about the Buble conspiracy? 182 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:14,828 - I don't know what that is. 183 00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:15,695 - Thanks Evelyn. 184 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:18,998 No, can you leave the room please. 185 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:20,934 - Oh my god. 186 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,871 - Sorry. 187 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,772 - Quickly. 188 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,076 - So, listen, I don't wanna name names 189 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:31,945 but there is someone in the office 190 00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,080 who I've started to think of as more than just a friend. 191 00:08:34,114 --> 00:08:35,915 - Why? 192 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:36,983 - 'Cause she's really nice. 193 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,885 - Are you talking about me? 194 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:39,786 - No, why? 195 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:41,021 Are you interested? 196 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:41,921 - Of course not. 197 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,656 So this is about Tuva? 198 00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:44,924 - Oh, I really don't wanna say who it is. 199 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,659 - Well I'm guessing it's not Mary. 200 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,895 - Oh, no, no, God no, no, definitely not Mary. 201 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,764 Anyway, it turns out this person 202 00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,800 for whatever reason has actually ended up having sex 203 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:55,869 with someone else on our team. 204 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:57,137 - Jerry. 205 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,104 - I really don't wanna name names. 206 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,205 - Yes, but surely not Mary? 207 00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:00,740 - No, it's still not Mary 208 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:01,808 but the thing is this person is in fact 209 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,076 a very good friend. 210 00:09:03,109 --> 00:09:04,911 - Jerry, of course, he walks all over you. 211 00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,347 - And on top of that I've just found out he has a wife. 212 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,115 - Jerry's married? 213 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,083 - So now I'm beginning to question do I even know 214 00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:11,217 who this person is anymore? 215 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:12,752 - Jerry? 216 00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:13,953 - I mean, what do you think I should do? 217 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:14,988 Do you think I should talk to him about it or? 218 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,059 (paper rustling) 219 00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:38,678 - Yes. 220 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:40,980 - Right. 221 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,016 It's a yes. 222 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,318 Can I have a raisin? 223 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,252 - Yes. 224 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,827 (Jerry gasps) 225 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,034 - Hey beautiful. 226 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,268 - Okay, so I'm just going to say it 227 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,269 so we can move on. 228 00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,738 - Oh my god you're pregnant? 229 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,206 - It's been less than 12 hours. 230 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,273 - I don't care I wanna keep it. 231 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,408 - No, this was a one off. 232 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,043 It can never happen again. 233 00:10:10,076 --> 00:10:11,745 - I don't understand, you sure sounded 234 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,246 like you were enjoying yourself. 235 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,382 - You know sometimes I moan like that 236 00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:17,017 when I'm really bored. 237 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,852 - I thought we had a connection. 238 00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:20,854 - You kept calling me Melissa. 239 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:22,889 - Oh come on, was it really that bad. 240 00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,392 Melissa (sobs). 241 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:28,995 - Yes. 242 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,296 - Fine, you know what? 243 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,098 Actually, I was on my way to find you 244 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,167 and tell you the same thing so. 245 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,137 - So are we good? 246 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,205 - Tuva, do you really think this is the first time 247 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,374 I've had a one night stand, please. 248 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,308 - Great. 249 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:50,183 (Jerry sobbing) (upbeat music) 250 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,088 - Oh, hi, Jerry, I just wondered if we'd have a little chat. 251 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,123 - It's actually not a great time for me. 252 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,358 I'm super busy. 253 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,762 - Did Tuva come and see you? 254 00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:04,964 - You know what she did. 255 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,967 Poor kid. 256 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,804 She won't leave me alone, so clingy. 257 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,073 I had to shut that shit down. 258 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:15,108 I'm actually worried about her, she was a mess. 259 00:11:15,141 --> 00:11:16,343 I hope she's gonna be okay. 260 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,380 - Listen, if you ever wanna chat about anything, 261 00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,881 just, you know I'm here, right? 262 00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:22,816 - Okay, thanks. 263 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,418 - Maybe you could come around to mine tonight. 264 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,121 Get my dad to cook something and we can chat. 265 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,926 - Nah, I think it'll be too spicy. 266 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,361 - Let's go out, come on. 267 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,232 - Can we go somewhere cozy? 268 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:42,168 - Of course, the Railway Inn is super cozy, honestly. 269 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,103 - Is it? 270 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,439 Do they do mashed potatoes? 271 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,842 - I can ask, I mean, it's very easy to make. 272 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,280 - Okay. 273 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,148 - [Joseph] Yeah? 274 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,150 - Yeah, let's do this. 275 00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,392 (keys tapping) 276 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,906 (phone ringing) 277 00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,213 - Very nice. 278 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,582 Hey, does this turn into a topless place later? 279 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,384 - I don't think so, no. 280 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,020 - Listen, I'm really glad we decided to go out, man. 281 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,388 Just us two guys. 282 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,426 - Yeah, do you wanna just have a seat 283 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,326 and I'll just get this first round. 284 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,394 What would you like? 285 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:43,129 - Yeah, I'll have a scotch. 286 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,265 Top shelf, neat. 287 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,499 - Cool, neat. 288 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,968 - No, neat, no ice. 289 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,470 - Yeah, yeah that's neat. 290 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,572 - Oh hey, also, get another round of whatever 291 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,041 those two are having. 292 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:56,276 - What, for us? 293 00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:57,544 - For them. 294 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,945 - Oh right, okay. 295 00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,484 (people gasping) 296 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,087 Hey, Tuva, what are you doing here? 297 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,155 - Hey, you want to see some magic tricks? 298 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,223 - I can't really. 299 00:13:10,256 --> 00:13:11,358 - Oh come on, pick a card. 300 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,194 - Okay, okay, just really quick. 301 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,128 I love magic. 302 00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,457 - Hello? 303 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,260 - I am so sorry, Jerry, 304 00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,628 there was a huge queue. 305 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,264 - Where'd you get that? 306 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,266 - Oh, I didn't even see that. 307 00:13:53,299 --> 00:13:54,267 - Cheers, buddy. 308 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,236 - Cheers man, you all right. 309 00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:58,605 This is nice, isn't it? 310 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,040 Just us two. 311 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:00,640 (Jerry gasps) 312 00:14:00,674 --> 00:14:01,474 Chatting away. 313 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,375 - [Jerry] Right? 314 00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:03,643 - Yeah. 315 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,145 Well, you know, it just dawned on me. 316 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,279 We've never really ever spoken 317 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,048 about relationships and stuff. 318 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,484 - No, so when was the last long term relationship you had? 319 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:12,419 - Oh me. 320 00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:15,355 Probably like my gran. 321 00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:16,322 - Do you have type? 322 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,359 - I haven't really established a pattern yet. 323 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,398 - You ever hooked up with anyone at work? 324 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:27,167 - No not yet. 325 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,235 - Aren't there like 6,000 people workin' at GC HQ? 326 00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:30,637 - Well, yeah, but I mean I can't access everywhere 327 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,339 with my pass so. 328 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,274 - Yeah, but surely those odds are great. 329 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,509 I mean, even for somethin' happenin' by chance. 330 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,178 - Yeah, but I mean I don't know how accurate a figure 331 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,512 that is, I mean, that might include staff 332 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,481 from GC HQ Bute for all I know. 333 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,516 I don't wanna have to trek down there every time. 334 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:47,454 - I'm not makin' you uncomfortable, am I? 335 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,688 I'm just tryin' to be friendly. 336 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:49,656 - No, it's. 337 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,225 - What? 338 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,293 - No, it's just nice hearing you refer 339 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,627 to me as a friend, that's all. 340 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:58,131 Are you all right? 341 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,500 - You know what, let's get another round. 342 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:02,502 - Oh no, I'm gonna get these. 343 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:03,703 That's absolutely fine. 344 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,605 - Right, then get us a couple of shots too. 345 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:06,539 - Neat? 346 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,541 - Yeah. 347 00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,246 - Hey. 348 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:16,082 - So who are you here with? 349 00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,552 - Oh, just a couple of old school friends. 350 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,554 - Those two? 351 00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,491 - No, not them two, no, no. 352 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,425 - You want a drink? 353 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,161 - Maybe just like a really quick one? 354 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,629 - Can we have a couple of tequilas? 355 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,533 - Yes, it's just a little bit tricky at the moment 356 00:15:33,566 --> 00:15:35,535 because the, one of the people that I'm here with, 357 00:15:35,568 --> 00:15:37,804 he's a bit upset 'cause the girl he was seeing 358 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,339 has just split up with him so. 359 00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:40,240 - Is she hot? 360 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:44,444 - I find her attractive, yeah. 361 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,147 - Are you going to say something? 362 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,416 - To you, oh, I don't know. 363 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,618 Maybe, I just don't want him to think 364 00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:55,488 that I've been thinking about them having sex, you know? 365 00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:56,489 - There you go. 366 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:57,390 - Oh well. 367 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,760 (speaking in foreign language) 368 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,529 - Right. 369 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,430 (Joseph sputters) 370 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,664 Oh my god what's that? 371 00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:06,466 - You never had tequila before? 372 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,368 - I thought it was like squash. 373 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,437 (upbeat music) 374 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,539 I am so sorry Jerry. 375 00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:13,573 - Man, what took so long? 376 00:16:13,606 --> 00:16:15,275 - I had to pop to the toilet. 377 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,676 Just I've got the runs I think. 378 00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,845 - Well, surely that would make things quicker. 379 00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,414 - Well, there wasn't a cubicle so. 380 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,649 - Let's do this. 381 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:23,516 Cheers buddy. 382 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:24,451 - Cheers man. 383 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:28,788 (Jerry whoops) 384 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:29,789 Yeah. 385 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,358 So what were we talkin' about. 386 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,426 - Well, I think you were about 387 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,295 to me about your last relationship. 388 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,430 - What, no, man, don't bring me down. 389 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,832 I'm tryin' to get up. 390 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,435 You know, you really should go for one of those. 391 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,304 Which one's your favorite? 392 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,472 - I just wouldn't wanna choose. 393 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,339 - [Jerry] Come on man. 394 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:47,240 - It's fine. 395 00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:48,274 No, Jerry, honestly. 396 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:49,776 - Oh they are so waiting for you. 397 00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,244 They're begging for it. 398 00:16:51,277 --> 00:16:52,679 - She's not. 399 00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,280 - All right, I'm gonna go talk to 'em, see what I can do. 400 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,648 Come on, come on, quickly, quickly. 401 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:56,549 - Okay. 402 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,450 - Yeah baby. 403 00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,791 - So, just so I know, how much are you willing to spend? 404 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:05,692 - What? 405 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,464 - Hi Chris just to let you know 406 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,466 that I've finally cracked it. 407 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,368 - Yes, I was just going to take a look. 408 00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,204 I'll let Dixons know. 409 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,277 Is there something else? 410 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:27,347 - No, no, I should probably get back to mum. 411 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,215 - Yes, good idea. 412 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,722 - The district nurse just called and she's. 413 00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:53,807 - Okay, try not to take this the wrong way 414 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,509 but they both have concerns about your dwarfism. 415 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,744 - Well, that's fine, I completely understand. 416 00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:58,945 What about you? 417 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,447 - I think I'm starting to get used to it. 418 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,848 - No, are you interested in either of those? 419 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,417 - No, no, I'm not lookin' for a relationship. 420 00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:06,386 - Oh what, because you're married, Jerry? 421 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,358 - Have people been talkin' about me behind my back? 422 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:12,625 - Why didn't you tell me? 423 00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:13,460 - 'Cause it's none of your business. 424 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,928 - Well you told Tuva. 425 00:18:14,961 --> 00:18:17,497 - That was different, all right, just slipped out. 426 00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,965 - Well, Jerry, there's been plenty of opportunities 427 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,633 when it could've easily slipped out of me. 428 00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,534 - What? 429 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,569 - [Waiter] Sorry guys. 430 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:24,871 - What else did Tuva say about me? 431 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:25,972 - I don't know, why would I care 432 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,408 about how she feels about you? 433 00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,342 - Wait a? 434 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:32,479 You like Tuva? 435 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,482 - Yes, I like, of course I like Tuva. 436 00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:36,983 Obviously. 437 00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,485 Why is that so funny? 438 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:39,652 - No, it's just. 439 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:41,888 You deserve better. 440 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:43,656 - No I don't. 441 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,824 - Hey, I'm just tryin' to look out for you, okay? 442 00:18:44,858 --> 00:18:46,593 You just said we were buddies. 443 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,194 - Yeah, well buddies don't keep things from each other. 444 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,663 - Exactly, I mean, I didn't know you liked her like that. 445 00:18:50,697 --> 00:18:52,565 You shoulda made your feelings more obvious. 446 00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,633 - [Tuva] Hey. 447 00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:56,970 - What, Tuva, what? 448 00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:58,905 - So is Jerry your date? 449 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,440 - Mm-hm. 450 00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:01,474 - Cool. 451 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:05,245 Why didn't you say? 452 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,480 - You knew she was here? 453 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,015 - Sorry, did I not tell you that? 454 00:19:09,049 --> 00:19:10,016 - Is this why you brought me here 455 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:11,618 so you two can hang out? 456 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,219 - Hang on, I just need to work out exactly 457 00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,455 how this came about 'cause I'm actually quite drunk now. 458 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,524 - This is how you try to cheer me up? 459 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,025 - Well, apart from this bit I'm havin' a great night. 460 00:19:19,059 --> 00:19:20,593 - Me too, I'm gonna go out 461 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,263 to the garden to smoke some weed. 462 00:19:23,296 --> 00:19:24,264 - [Jerry] Whoa. 463 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:24,964 - [Tuva] You guys wanna come? 464 00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,499 - No, not, my asthma's. 465 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,234 - No, knock yourself out. - Sorry. 466 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,537 - Cool, later. 467 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,504 - Why would you lie to me? 468 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,639 I thought we were friends. 469 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:33,873 - Well, you know what? 470 00:19:33,907 --> 00:19:35,642 I thought we were friends as well 471 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:35,975 but there's some people who think you walk all over me. 472 00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:36,843 - What? 473 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:37,811 What else do they say? 474 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,546 - That you pee sitting down. 475 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:41,014 - Okay, that's my business and not all the time. 476 00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,615 Okay, sometimes I don't know what's gonna happen 477 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:43,683 so I play it safe. 478 00:19:43,717 --> 00:19:45,051 - That you're secretly vegan. 479 00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:46,052 - Oh fuck you. 480 00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,554 - That you're weak. 481 00:19:47,587 --> 00:19:48,955 - You think I'm weak? 482 00:19:48,988 --> 00:19:50,523 - Well, you're always talkin' about how tough you are 483 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:51,091 but no one's ever seen it have they? 484 00:19:51,124 --> 00:19:52,058 - Okay, you know what? 485 00:19:52,092 --> 00:19:53,727 Here, you wanna arm wrestle? 486 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,894 - I don't wanna arm wrestle, it hurts my arm. 487 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:55,929 - Whatever. 488 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,764 - You know what I'm done. 489 00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,265 - Where are you, hey, hey, don't walk away. 490 00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:00,000 I'm talkin' to you. 491 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,801 - I'm going home Jerry. 492 00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:02,969 - What a wuss. 493 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:05,972 - Okay get up. 494 00:20:06,006 --> 00:20:06,906 - What? 495 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:07,741 - [Joseph] Get up. 496 00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:08,742 - Why? 497 00:20:08,775 --> 00:20:09,676 - We're fighting, get up. 498 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:10,844 - We're gonna fight? 499 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,879 I'm the one who should be fighting you. 500 00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:14,080 - Go for it, move your table. 501 00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:15,749 - Oh, oh, you want help with the table? 502 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:16,750 - [Joseph] Yeah. 503 00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:17,717 - Yeah, where are we going? 504 00:20:17,751 --> 00:20:18,785 - Just to the right like that. 505 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:19,753 - [Jerry] There. 506 00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:20,754 - Thank you. 507 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:21,588 - I can move furniture too. 508 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,288 - [Joseph] Go for it. 509 00:20:23,123 --> 00:20:25,692 - Look at that and this. 510 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,727 Here, there, there, you have enough space 511 00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,763 for all your moves huh? 512 00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:30,663 You little. 513 00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:31,564 - Little what? 514 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:32,465 - Just little. 515 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,300 (Joseph grunts) 516 00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,635 Yeah, sorry buddy. 517 00:20:35,669 --> 00:20:37,003 I'm sorry, it's just instinct, sorry. 518 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,072 Hey! 519 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,073 Hey! 520 00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:41,775 Okay, can you stop hugging me? 521 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:42,709 - No. 522 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:44,978 - Hey. 523 00:20:45,011 --> 00:20:45,879 (Joseph grunts) 524 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,880 - Ow Jerry! 525 00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,915 - Sorry, again, instinct. 526 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,650 Come on, get up. 527 00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:51,685 Hey, don't try! 528 00:20:51,718 --> 00:20:52,819 - Ow! 529 00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,921 - Yeah, yeah, kick me. 530 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:56,523 Where you goin' you little squirrel? 531 00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,758 Oh, you're tryin' to look me in the eye huh? 532 00:20:58,792 --> 00:20:59,959 - Why are you such a dickhead? 533 00:20:59,993 --> 00:21:01,327 - What? 534 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,729 - Well you treat me like shit all the time. 535 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,864 - I don't treat you like shit, you're my PA. 536 00:21:04,898 --> 00:21:07,067 - I'm not your PA, I've been workin' at GC HQ for 12 years. 537 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,035 I'm a junior analyst. 538 00:21:09,069 --> 00:21:09,903 - Really? 539 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,937 - Yes! 540 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,339 Just lose the front. 541 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,940 - Oh you think I have a front now? 542 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,041 You think I'm frontin'? 543 00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,344 - Well why won't you let me in? 544 00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,078 - Jesus. 545 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,546 - Come on, why? 546 00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,018 - You wanna know why I won't let you in, huh? 547 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:27,153 You really wanna know? 548 00:21:27,187 --> 00:21:30,056 'Cause the last time I let someone in, I shot him. 549 00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:33,860 I lost my best friend. 550 00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:38,665 Is that what you wanted to hear? 551 00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:39,833 All right, are you happy? 552 00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:45,872 (Joseph thuds) 553 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,678 You really gotta work on your instinct. 554 00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:56,716 (upbeat music) 555 00:21:58,418 --> 00:22:01,054 (dogs barking) 556 00:22:01,087 --> 00:22:03,690 (man snores) 557 00:22:05,225 --> 00:22:06,059 - [Joseph] Jerry. 558 00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:11,031 * Hooray, hooray, hooray 559 00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:12,832 * Misery's on the way 560 00:22:12,866 --> 00:22:16,636 * There are bad times just around the corner * 561 00:22:16,670 --> 00:22:20,006 * There are dark clouds hurtling through the sky * 562 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,743 * It's as clear as crystal from Bridlington to Bristol * 563 00:22:23,777 --> 00:22:25,679 * That we can't save democracy 564 00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,447 * And we don't much care 565 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,082 * We'd better all learn the lyrics * 566 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,618 * Of the old red flag 567 00:22:31,651 --> 00:22:35,789 * And wait until we drop down dead * 38476

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