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1
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:17,319
(footsteps)
2
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,550
(upbeat drum music)
3
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,547
- Morning.
4
00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,518
- Morning, all right?
5
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:25,355
(computer beeps)
6
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,527
(sips drink)
7
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:34,574
(Computer beeps fast)
8
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,537
(chime)
9
00:00:42,575 --> 00:00:44,105
What does that mean?
10
00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:50,175
(mouse clicks)
11
00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,586
(computer chimes)
12
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:55,219
(mouse clicks)
13
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,599
(upbeat drum music)
14
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:09,239
(radio noises)
15
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:14,812
- Um, Evelyn, can I get
a hot squash please?
16
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,411
- Why is there a kid coming?
17
00:01:16,443 --> 00:01:17,313
- Well, it's for me.
18
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:18,784
- So sorry I'm late,
19
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,482
the hotel I'm staying at
doesn't have a decent gym,
20
00:01:20,513 --> 00:01:22,253
so I had to free run
it all the way here.
21
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,152
- Free run, what's that?
22
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:25,194
- Watch and learn babe.
23
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:29,418
(giggles)
24
00:01:29,456 --> 00:01:31,186
- Do you have an
update on China?
25
00:01:31,224 --> 00:01:33,294
- Actually, my buddy
at the NSA and I,
26
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,556
did some pretty
breathtaking work on that.
27
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,725
This is first rate intel,
my guy is the best.
28
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,395
- This is just taken
from Wikipedia.
29
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,844
- Right, you have that here?
30
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,309
Oh, can I get a protein shake?
31
00:01:45,338 --> 00:01:47,508
- Yes would you
like lamb or beef?
32
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,210
- That'll be all thanks Evelyn.
33
00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:50,412
- That reminds me,
who do I talk to
34
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:51,783
about switching hotels?
35
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,351
- Certainly not me,
certainly not now.
36
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:54,750
- Because I need a place
37
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,381
that serves organic
chicken breast like 24/7.
38
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:59,687
- Okay so, just
so that you know,
39
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:02,419
everyone at SIASEC will be
having to redo their APT tests
40
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,685
- [Woman] What really?
41
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,363
- Is that because I
accidentally deleted
42
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,592
the entire department's
personnel files
43
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:07,856
and all previous
aptitude scores?
44
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,864
- What do you think?
45
00:02:08,895 --> 00:02:09,825
- Could it just be a coincidence
46
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,303
- You know this is actually
47
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,271
a perfect opportunity
for me to get
48
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,469
to know where everyone's at.
49
00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,401
- As merely liaison
with the NSA ,
50
00:02:16,436 --> 00:02:18,706
what makes you think you need
to know where everyone is at?
51
00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:19,868
- Who knows what
I'm going to need to
52
00:02:19,906 --> 00:02:22,436
liaise with them about, right?
53
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,305
Plus, we run aptitude
tests at the NSA like,
54
00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:26,675
every few hours
just to make sure
55
00:02:26,713 --> 00:02:28,583
we're all constantly
at the top of our game.
56
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:29,645
- And this will give
us a chance to see
57
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:30,753
if you're at the top of yours.
58
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,224
- What do you mean? I'm exempt.
59
00:02:32,252 --> 00:02:32,822
- Why would you be exempt?
60
00:02:32,852 --> 00:02:34,322
- Because I'm NSA
61
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:35,794
- I would say that's
even more reason
62
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,262
for you to take the test,
you're one of the team now,
63
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,730
so to speak.
64
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,628
- Maybe you and I should
talk about this privately.
65
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:41,660
I just don't wanna lower morale
66
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,495
by getting the highest score.
67
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,500
- I'm sure the team
will understand.
68
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,902
I presume you're aware it
involves a polygraph test?
69
00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:48,904
- Huh.
70
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,635
- Chris, hypothetical question,
71
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:52,310
what would happen to someone
who's currently working
72
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,339
at GCHQ doing absolutely fine,
73
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,284
might've encountered a few
little hiccups along the way
74
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:57,479
but then doesn't end up faring
75
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,910
so well in this
next round of tests?
76
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:00,575
- I'd say you'd be fired.
77
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,353
- Oh, I wasn't talking about me.
78
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,822
- There's only so far we can
take positive discrimination,
79
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,350
I'm afraid.
80
00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,545
- You know, I've never
really understood that.
81
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:09,256
- Oh, well it's when
someone who isn't white,
82
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,759
is actually really
good at what they do.
83
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:11,760
- That's not it.
84
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:12,791
- No, I get what it means,
85
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,326
I just don't see why we should
86
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,361
be discriminating on any level,
87
00:03:16,396 --> 00:03:17,796
positive or negative,
88
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,531
look ultimately I just
want the best candidates
89
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:21,397
to win the best job.
90
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,704
- Thank you I agree.
91
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,436
- Why are you nodding?
92
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:25,911
- Regardless of whether
white black or your thing,
93
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:27,469
- Hello.
94
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:28,907
- You know, I'm two
percent native American,
95
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,442
bet you couldn't tell.
96
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,477
- I can always tell.
97
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:35,753
- Well, I mean, we were
all black once weren't we?
98
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:41,917
Oh, that's not racist, it's
just something mum says.
99
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,316
(radio static)
100
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,557
(drum music)
101
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:51,562
(people mumbling)
102
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,580
- Ah, great, is that my chicken?
103
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:07,352
- Yes, and I didn't
know what you liked
104
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:08,620
so I just got a mix of thighs
and a couple of big breasts.
105
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,918
- Did you do a background check?
106
00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:11,479
- On the chicken?
- [Jerry] Yeah
107
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,448
- It's just a
rotisserie chicken.
108
00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:14,546
- So we don't know
if it's organic?
109
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:15,657
- Not yet, no.
110
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:16,459
- Close the door.
111
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:19,487
Shut the blinds.
112
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:20,286
Sit down.
113
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,625
So I've been thinking
about these tests tomorrow.
114
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:25,673
- Oh God, me too,
hopefully they'll just
115
00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:26,929
demote me if I get a bad score.
116
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:28,696
I don't think they'll
actually fire me.
117
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:30,765
- Is it even possible for
you to get demoted though?
118
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,474
I mean you're the
least paid here, right?
119
00:04:32,505 --> 00:04:33,935
- What makes you say that?
120
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:35,843
- Listen, maybe we could
help each other out,
121
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,675
what if I was the one
overseeing the tests?
122
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:40,953
- Wait, you'd help me pass?
123
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:42,620
- Well I'd have to
take into account
124
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,379
just how bad your score was,
125
00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:45,947
I wouldn't want it
to be too obvious.
126
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,415
- No, of course not.
127
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:48,664
Plus you know, sometimes
it's a good thing
128
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:50,458
for a certain person
in the group to fail
129
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:52,660
just so everyone gets to
see what that looks like.
130
00:04:52,692 --> 00:04:54,632
- Yeah, no I can
get that, so what,
131
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:55,631
do you want me to
fail on purpose?
132
00:04:55,662 --> 00:04:56,832
'cause I can easily do that.
133
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,733
- No definitely
not, all I mean is
134
00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:01,765
if the titanic had successfully
crossed the Atlantic
135
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:03,641
to new york, do you really think
136
00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:05,970
that film would've grossed
2.1 billion dollars
137
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:06,966
at the box office?
138
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:09,638
- I still don't know what
you mean, are you saying
139
00:05:09,676 --> 00:05:11,636
that it sank on purpose?
140
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:13,978
- No, all I'm saying is that
you should stick with me,
141
00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,654
and everything will be okay.
142
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,822
- Wow, that's true, but
that's what Scar says
143
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:18,791
in the Lion King isn't it,
144
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:19,618
and then it all goes tits up.
145
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,392
(chuckles)
146
00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:22,991
So what, have upstairs
signed off on this then?
147
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,863
- Yes, kind of.
148
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:25,991
Who does Chris report to?
149
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:26,856
- Rupert
150
00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:28,463
- Then no.
151
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,555
- All right, I can
sort you out then.
152
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,067
So, Rupert is on a plane,
but I should still be able
153
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,629
to patch you through.
154
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:36,738
- You know, I just need
one second to figure out
155
00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:38,440
the best way to actually --
- Hello?
156
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:40,641
- Hello Rupert.
157
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:44,444
Hey, it's Jerry Bernstein, NSA.
158
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:45,477
- Jerry!
159
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:46,682
- [Jerry] Hello,
160
00:05:46,713 --> 00:05:48,653
- Chris says you're
settling in well.
161
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,882
- Oh yeah, I'm having a --
- How are you find --
162
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:54,087
- Sorry, I'm having a --
- How are you --
163
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,960
- It's, I'm thrilled --
- How are you --
164
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:57,960
- No you go,
165
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,491
- [Rupert] Pardon?
166
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:02,526
- (laughs) I said I'm
thrilled, I'm thrilled,
167
00:06:02,562 --> 00:06:03,562
- What?
168
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,666
- I think there's a delay,
169
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,629
can you fix that?
- Ouch.
170
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:08,666
- Yes I'm on a plane, I'm.
171
00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,102
- [Jerry] No I see that.
172
00:06:10,136 --> 00:06:12,936
Oh now you're frozen, it's
a good look, but your fro--
173
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,512
- [Joseph] Ow!
174
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,811
- [Rupert] Jerry,
Jerry just tell me,
175
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,583
how are you getting
along with Chris?
176
00:06:18,611 --> 00:06:20,651
Do you know she has one
hell of a reputation?
177
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,480
- Does she, for sleeping around?
178
00:06:23,516 --> 00:06:25,686
- No, for being good at her job.
179
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,719
- No, right of course,
180
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:30,024
I was just wondering if she
had some kind of condition,
181
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:33,786
because I usually vibe
with all types of women.
182
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,957
- Look, Jerry, we're
about to land in Syria,
183
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:37,855
- [Jerry] Oh you're
back, hello champagne,
184
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,727
do you mind if I conduct those,
185
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:42,537
what is it?
186
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,899
The SIASEC aptitude tests that
are scheduled for tomorrow?
187
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:47,906
- I didn't quite
catch any of that,
188
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,139
but I'm sure it'll be fine.
189
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,877
- That's great, great,
I was just saying that,
190
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:58,054
since I'll be running the
aptitude tests tomorrow,
191
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,094
which you just
verbally agreed to,
192
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,920
I'm just bummed, you know,
193
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:05,125
bummed that I won't be able
to take the test myself,
194
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,828
but I'll be sure to
let Christine know
195
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,500
of this conversation, okay?
196
00:07:10,630 --> 00:07:12,130
- I think Tuesday.
197
00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:15,035
- Sounds good, have a
lovely time in Syria.
198
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,636
(Static)
199
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,942
Yeah, I think we're --
200
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,173
- [Joseph] That was dead easy.
201
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,077
- Yeah.
202
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:22,978
(laughs)
203
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:23,839
Is he an alcoholic?
204
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:24,737
- Yes he is.
205
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,648
(static)
206
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,879
- [Rupert] Pardon?
207
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,215
Jerry?
208
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,817
I think you're frozen now.
209
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,755
- Chris I don't
know what to say,
210
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,190
Rupert and I were
just spit balling
211
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,134
about ways to freshen
up the test and Bam!
212
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,161
He put me in charge, I hope
you don't think it was my idea.
213
00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:46,067
- If only it he was
reachable to verify that,
214
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:49,069
and you're exempt I presume?
215
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,812
- Well yeah, I mean, if I'm
gonna be overhauling the way
216
00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:55,939
the tests are run, I don't
want to sway the results.
217
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,105
So, I think I'd like
to start by timing,
218
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,114
how quickly everyone
can get undressed
219
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,046
and then put all their
clothes back on again.
220
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,782
- To test aptitude?
221
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,787
- Yeah, also are you familiar
with the game "Sardines"?
222
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,021
(drum music)
223
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,259
- Okay, so what I
would like to do
224
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,967
is a quick polygraph test.
225
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,198
What's that piece of crap?
226
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,743
- It was just a backup,
prefer the older models.
227
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,170
Do you mind if I
touch your head?
228
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:26,035
- Whereabouts?
229
00:08:26,072 --> 00:08:27,742
- Here and here
230
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:28,684
- Yes that's fine.
231
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:33,048
Ow, ow.
232
00:08:33,079 --> 00:08:34,249
- What's the problem?
233
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,920
- I can't get these
to stick down,
234
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,179
there's too much hair.
235
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,117
- Well can't you
just take it off?
236
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,021
It's a wig right?
237
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,046
- No.
238
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,757
- I'm happy to shave an area,
239
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:45,089
- No that won't be necessary,
just hold them in place.
240
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,028
Not you.
241
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,132
- Oh, sorry.
242
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,628
Sorry if my fingers
are a bit smelly.
243
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,098
- Thank you, Quentin.
244
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,096
Okay, so Mary were
going to start by doing
245
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,308
just a couple of
trial questions.
246
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:04,910
So, what is your full name?
247
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,254
- Mary Fanny Nidam
248
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:12,190
- So I've added a slight US
vibe to your standard APT test.
249
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,818
Can you just start bouncing
up and down on that for me?
250
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:20,233
What's, no you put your
feet on that, on the bar.
251
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,630
Wait where are you going?
252
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:24,934
- Like that?
253
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,234
- What are you doing?
254
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,266
Okay so now I'm going
to call out ten numbers,
255
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,101
and I want you to
repeat them back to me
256
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,836
but in reverse order.
257
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:36,181
three, zero, 34, nine,
81, four, four again, 53,
258
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,283
nine and 528.
259
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:41,682
(Metal creaking)
260
00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,115
- Are you even talking to me?
- Come on man!
261
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,720
Yes or no, would you
ever betray your country
262
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,823
for drug, money, or sex?
263
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,285
- Sex.
264
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,863
528,
265
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:52,831
nine,
266
00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,329
three, four again, four
267
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,001
- 528,
268
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:56,929
nine,
269
00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:57,863
53, four,
270
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,167
four, 81,
271
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,069
nine,
272
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,970
34, zero, three.
273
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,202
- Well, I'll have to make
sure that that's correct.
274
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,107
- It is.
275
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,808
(piano music)
276
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,910
- four,
277
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:08,811
320 --
278
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:09,712
(air horn)
279
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,743
( Joseph screams)
280
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:11,747
- Get up we're going again.
281
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,808
Did you vote for Brexit?
282
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,017
- I don't know, who is that?
283
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:22,993
- Ow, ow, Jesus Christ why
do you keep hitting me?
284
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,093
- I'm just testing
your reflexes.
285
00:10:26,726 --> 00:10:28,856
What was the name
of your first pet?
286
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,125
- Wolf.
287
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,773
- That was the name
of your pet, wolf?
288
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:32,768
- Yeah
289
00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,999
- What was your, was it a wolf?
290
00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,235
- Yeah
291
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,799
- That's really cool.
292
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:39,337
- How do you think
I'm doing overall?
293
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,842
'cause I weirdly feel
I'm doing quite well.
294
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:43,105
- Ow!
295
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,413
- You know you can
try to hit me too.
296
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,354
- Okay
297
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,208
- Ow, what the fuck!
298
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:47,406
- Sorry
299
00:10:47,447 --> 00:10:48,917
- Would you ever
sleep with a coworker?
300
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,178
- Oh my God, that's
so embarrassing.
301
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,946
Maybe I don't know
like an American?
302
00:10:56,756 --> 00:10:57,986
- Sorry.
303
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:58,434
- Would you ever
sleep with a co --
304
00:10:58,458 --> 00:10:58,988
- Yes, Mary.
305
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,334
- Oh fuck you!
306
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,202
Would you ever sleep
with a coworker?
307
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,930
- I just came to clean the room.
308
00:11:05,965 --> 00:11:08,065
- What are you doing Friday?
309
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,801
Would you ever sleep
with a coworker?
310
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:10,296
- Of course not.
311
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,083
- So that's not what
the machine is saying.
312
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,380
Oh my God,
313
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,409
Is the person you
have feelings for --
314
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,878
- I don't have
feelings for anyone.
315
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,124
- In this room?
316
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,764
- This is a waste of time.
317
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:38,264
- Wha --
318
00:11:46,272 --> 00:11:48,142
(screams)
319
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,014
- Sardines.
320
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,854
(drum music)
321
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:58,280
- Hmm, oh Chris.
322
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,197
- Of Course they used anthrax,
323
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,199
to kill off all the
rabbits in the 50's.
324
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,471
- That looks like my dad!
325
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,000
could that be any ordinary,
326
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,065
if you found out a
family member was--
327
00:12:16,102 --> 00:12:17,502
- A terrorist.
- Terror I know.
328
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:20,137
- So what would you do if
they end up letting you go?
329
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:22,837
- Oh I'm sure I'll be fine,
330
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:23,536
well I've always had this dream
331
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,006
of becoming a trumpet teacher.
332
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:26,275
- Oh, that'd be nice.
333
00:12:26,312 --> 00:12:27,512
- You play trumpet?
334
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:30,147
- Oh no, I'd have
to learn first.
335
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:33,093
Oh Jerry, Jerry, how did we
all do, are the results in?
336
00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:35,059
- I'm still calculating
everyone's scores,
337
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:38,018
but Tuva, you should consider
coming to work for the NSA
338
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,158
with marks this high.
339
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,832
Mary, looks like you're safe.
340
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:47,127
- Do you still need
that urine sample?
341
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:47,997
- Oh God yes.
342
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:51,342
- Jerry, so do you want one
from Mary and I as well?
343
00:12:59,312 --> 00:13:01,182
- Please don't just sit there,
344
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,924
go and find out
when Rupert's back.
345
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,020
- Sure I'll check with Pa.
346
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,586
- Check with who, sorry?
347
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,390
- Pa, is that not her name?
348
00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,362
- His PA?
349
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,134
It's pronounced PA.
350
00:13:18,064 --> 00:13:19,304
How can you not know that?
351
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,132
That's what you are!
352
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,237
Go away.
353
00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,538
- Oh my God.
354
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,384
- You smell nice Jerry.
- Mm-hmm.
355
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,952
- Yes?
356
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:34,480
- Hey hun.
- Please don't call me that,
357
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:35,354
- So listen,
358
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,323
about earlier, I
just wondered whether
359
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,992
we should keep your
feelings for me secret.
360
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,263
- If there was anything
to keep secret,
361
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,061
and I assure you there isn't,
362
00:13:47,093 --> 00:13:49,633
the last person I would trust
with that information is you.
363
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,132
- I understand why you
might want to deny it,
364
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,095
but just so you know
you're not the first.
365
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,374
- To deny it?
366
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,272
- At the NSA about
80% of the staff
367
00:13:57,303 --> 00:13:58,513
are attracted to me,
368
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:00,168
and that's just the
people we know about.
369
00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,636
- I'm not attracted
to you Jerry.
370
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:03,575
This isn't the war, British
women don't just drop their
371
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:07,410
bloomers for any GI spiv with
an accent and a Hershey bar.
372
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:11,017
- Well, that's not what your
biometric data is showing.
373
00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:14,588
I'd hate for this to get
out and embarrass you.
374
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:17,161
- You and I both know those
machines are unreliable.
375
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,190
- I know of only two real cases
376
00:14:19,225 --> 00:14:21,385
where a polygraph has
given false readings,
377
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,498
and in both cases,
they happened in films.
378
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,000
- Well there must be a mistake.
379
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,501
- Then why are you
so nervous around me?
380
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,103
Look at you.
381
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,304
- There is no way
I have feeling --
382
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,336
- A polygraph doesn't lie.
383
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,039
- Well there's only
one way to prove that.
384
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,609
You take it.
385
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,614
- (laughs) I have no problem
taking a polygraph, wait.
386
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:43,217
(drums music)
387
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,349
- So how did I do man,
do you still aren't able
388
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,247
to mark me up?
389
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:49,458
- I don't know, ill try
390
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,019
but your score was
really on the fence.
391
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:53,027
- Oh God, but which side?
392
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,399
- Okay listen so I
kind of painted myself
393
00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:58,328
into a corner here, I
might need to cue you
394
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,525
at certain times in the testing,
395
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,296
just to pick --
- What do you mean?
396
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:02,474
- Well, it doesn't matter.
397
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,372
- What do you mean cue you?
398
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,403
- Shh
399
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:06,067
- What's Joseph doing here?
400
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:08,436
- Yeah I'd like an impartial
adjudicator on this,
401
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:12,175
someone who lacks the mental
capacity to skew the results.
402
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,182
- Fair enough, should
be fun, you're ready?
403
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,449
- Are you all right?
404
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:23,487
- Yeah, oh I have
a little twitch
405
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:24,623
that comes out once in a while,
406
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:25,427
it's nothing.
407
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,130
- Chris do you want me to
run through a few trial
408
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,332
questions first just to make
sure the equipment's working?
409
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,663
- [Christine] Yes.
410
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,198
- Are you all right?
411
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,033
- Yeah.
412
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,202
- So answering yes or no,
what is your favorite film?
413
00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,268
- "The Greatest Showman"
414
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,237
- Have you ever taken
any illegal substances?
415
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:44,076
- No
416
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,675
There was one time, at the NSA
417
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:50,154
when I had to sniff
a work surface,
418
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,093
but it turned out the
entire work surface
419
00:15:52,118 --> 00:15:52,988
was covered in crack.
420
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,521
- Yeah that seems
to be working fine.
421
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:56,555
- Great, should we begin?
422
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,364
- Hold on just let me.
423
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:02,162
(Heavy breathing)
424
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,570
- Yes.
425
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,640
- Yes.
- Yes.
426
00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,238
- Two months ago,
427
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:11,600
- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
428
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:14,368
listen, I really
think it's only fair
429
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,707
if all the questions
come from Joseph.
430
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,583
- Okay, how many
legs have you got?
431
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,551
- No you don't have to
create the questions,
432
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,220
they just have to come from you.
433
00:16:22,248 --> 00:16:23,418
To, to.
434
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,247
- Yeah.
435
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,360
What does that say?
436
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,558
- "Redacted"
437
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:34,159
- Okay, two months
ago GCHQ intercepted a
438
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:36,598
- Redacted.
- Redacted, Jesus.
439
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,129
- Sorry, file from
the oval office,
440
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,374
implying a coverup
within the NSA,
441
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:41,499
yes or no, were you
aware of such a coverup?
442
00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,453
- No.
443
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:00,692
- It says lie.
444
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,260
- What the fuck?
445
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,758
I mean move on
that didn't count,
446
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,491
ask another question.
447
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,386
- What's a tampon?
448
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:08,757
- Not you, one of her --
449
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:12,465
- Sorry, "Despite
requesting upgraded access
450
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:14,699
to your internal file at
the NSA, it still comes up
451
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,204
as classified why?"
452
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:18,166
- Oh thank, I don't know.
453
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,444
- "However when speaking
with several senior figures
454
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,613
at the NSA It seems
your move over to GCHQ
455
00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:25,312
was more to do with damage
control, why might that be?"
456
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:29,782
- Can we take a break?
457
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,476
- Yeah.
- No.
458
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:34,618
- I think I might
sneeze, actually,
459
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,294
and I don't want it
to affect the test.
460
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:38,432
- Fine, I'll wait.
461
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:41,328
(cymbal drum music)
462
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,573
- I might be a minute.
463
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,337
(phone vibrates)
464
00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:59,451
- What Evelyn?
465
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,480
Why are you and Esther.
466
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,275
- Put this on your thumb.
- What's that about?
467
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,647
- Take it, put it on
your fucking thumb.
468
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:06,885
- No I don't wanna be a part --
469
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,390
- Hey do you want me to
say you passed the test?
470
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:09,291
- Did I not pass?
471
00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:10,522
- Are you kidding?
472
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,487
Take this, put it on
your fucking thumb.
473
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:13,525
- [Christine] This
is ridiculous.
474
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,530
- I agree
475
00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,301
- Let's just get on with this.
476
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,899
Answering yes or no, were
you disgraced at the NSA
477
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,831
and forced to take
the position here?
478
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,726
- No
479
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:22,397
sorry I.
480
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,195
- No
481
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:27,605
- Have you always
had two heartbeats?
482
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:29,780
- Yes, I had a twin
but I absorbed him.
483
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,679
- Oh for God's sake, Joseph
leave the room please.
484
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,612
- That's hardly fair.
485
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:38,247
- Joseph, go, now.
486
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,754
- What do you want me to do?
487
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,456
- (mumbles) Don't give it to
me, don't hand it to, don't --
488
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,789
(Joseph mumbles)
489
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,485
what is this?
490
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:48,897
- Just get out!
491
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,858
- Get out sir!
492
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:51,657
- I'm sorry.
493
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:58,671
(cymbal drums music)
494
00:18:58,705 --> 00:19:00,765
- Let's, try that again.
495
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:24,458
Answering yes or no,
496
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,372
were you dis --
497
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,741
were you disgraced at the N --
498
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,370
were you disgraced at the NSA
499
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,805
and forced to take
the position here?
500
00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,647
- No
501
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:39,478
Mother fu --
502
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:46,645
- Okay so, this is obviously
not an ideal situation,
503
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,646
for either of us.
504
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:49,558
- Mm-mh.
505
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:53,728
On the other hand, this
equipment is notorious
506
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,660
for acting up.
507
00:19:55,795 --> 00:19:56,555
Isn't it?
508
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,828
- Mm-hmm.
509
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,836
- Maybe I should ask
Rupert to take another look
510
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,798
at this when we're
not so stretched?
511
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:18,794
- I think that,
512
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:21,617
is a great idea.
513
00:20:35,869 --> 00:20:37,499
Just between us,
514
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,005
I was right huh?
515
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,580
You do have feelings for me.
516
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:43,709
- I guess we'll never know.
517
00:20:46,046 --> 00:20:47,676
- I promise you I
wasn't ear wigging,
518
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:48,854
but just to be clear
are we writing off
519
00:20:48,882 --> 00:20:50,022
the whole set of tests?
520
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:51,990
- Yes it would seem so.
521
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,688
You're off the hook,
522
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,550
for now.
523
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,062
- Hallelujah, (chuckles)
524
00:20:59,459 --> 00:20:59,929
for now.
525
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,967
- So in love with me.
526
00:21:05,999 --> 00:21:06,869
- Really?
527
00:21:06,900 --> 00:21:07,730
- It's sad.
528
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,067
(upbeat music)
529
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,469
(Muna knocking)
530
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:14,936
- Oh, Muna.
531
00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,544
- Hi.
- Hi.
532
00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,076
- Just came around
to empty the bin.
533
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,051
- Oh no, no let me.
534
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,920
- Its okay I'll --
- No let me, okay.
535
00:21:23,917 --> 00:21:26,887
Sorry. (chuckles)
536
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:27,750
- Sorry.
537
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:36,902
* There's a bad pie
just around the corner *
538
00:21:36,930 --> 00:21:40,600
* There's a dark cloud
patching through the skies *
539
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,903
* It's as clear as crystal
540
00:21:42,936 --> 00:21:44,596
* From Brislington to Bristol
541
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,607
* That we can't save democracy
542
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,579
* And we don't much care
543
00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:52,748
* We better all run the
merits or beyond that flag *
544
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:57,579
* But wait till we
drop down dead *
37562
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