Original subtitles

male announcer: This is Cannonball Bay.

‐ Can you dig it?

[dramatic choral music]

announcer: The most extreme water park

you've ever seen.

‐ Oh, my goodness!

What a run!

Incredible! ‐ Let's go!

announcer: A place where legends are made.

♪ ♪

And all of their drenched dreams...

‐ [screams] announcer: Come true.

[all scream]

both: Oh, man.

‐ Let's hope that face is all right.

[both screaming]

announcer: Where regular people...

‐ I'm a cat daddy. ‐ [squeals]

‐ Time for this redhead to fly!

‐ Cannonball! [ululating]

announcer: Well, people, stare fear...

‐ Let's do this! ‐ This is so stupid.

‐ Oh, Mommy, help me!

announcer: In the face. ‐ Whoo!

‐ Yeah! ‐ [screams]

‐ Ooh. ‐ [grunts]

‐ Oh, boy. ‐ [chortles]

‐ Is my face okay?

‐ [screaming]

announcer: Each week, our incredible athletes

will risk life...

‐ [grunts] announcer: And limb.

[both screaming] ‐ Oh, man!

announcer: All for $10,000.

‐ That's my money!

I need to pay my bills! [yells]

‐ [screams] announcer: So get ready

for the wettest... [all screaming]

announcer: And wildest...

‐ Oh! My nipples!

announcer: Hour on television.

[cheers and applause] ‐ [panting]

‐ Whoa! ‐ [screams]

[all screaming and cheering]

announcer: This is "Cannonball."

[upbeat music]

[cheers and applause]

‐ Hello, and welcome to our aquatic wonderland.

I'm Mike Mizanin. ‐ And I'm Rocsi Diaz.

‐ And this is Cannonball Bay,

where competitors will face five super‐sized challenges

in hopes of going home with $10,000.

‐ I've been waiting for this all week.

So do you think we should get started?

‐ I do.

And not just because the teleprompter

is telling me to say that.

It's what I really feel in my heart.

‐ Uh‐huh. ‐ What's up first?

♪ ♪

‐ Well, Mike, first up is Speed Skimmer.

Our athletes will rocket down our seven‐story mega‐slide,

topping speeds of 80 miles per hour,

then maneuver between these buoys

without crashing,

and try to skim as far across the bay as they can.

‐ On this challenge, you gotta avoid drag.

So keep those feet up as you go down the slide

and as you skim across the water.

‐ The eight athletes who travel the farthest

will move on.

‐ The other four will have to join

a "Cannonball" rec league.

‐ Before we kick things off,

let's check in with our sideline reporter,

Simon Gibson, down on the shoreline.

Simon?

‐ Hey. Thanks, guys.

This crowd is jumping.

And I am absolutely shaking

with excitement.

Or I'm shaking because I had five cups of coffee

in my trailer,

and I might be having a heart attack.

Either way, makes for compelling television.

Back to you guys!

[cheers and applause] Agh!

‐ Thanks, Simon.

‐ Let's meet our first competitor.

‐ [vocalizing angelically]

The chosen one is here.

My name is Timothy Williams.

Everybody call me Tim Willy for short, though.

I'm a private security guard for the rich and famous.

I'm not gon' say no names, but, uh...

[chuckles] Oprah.

My bad. [chuckling]

[screams]

I need that $10,000.

'Cause rent's about to due. The first's coming.

[chuckling] And I don't wanna ask my mom for no more money.

Tim Willy is ready to win!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

[grunts]

Those‐‐those winning nipples.

‐ He's a celebrity security guard

at 6'3", 215 pounds.

‐ He was Oprah's security, okay?

I just wanna be friends with him

because he hangs out with Lady O.

‐ We don't know if it's the Oprah.

‐ I mean, what other Oprah is there, Mike?

‐ There could be many Oprahs out there.

Oprah could be a very popular name.

‐ No, yeah. I don't think so, Mike.

‐ Oh, Mommy, help me.

‐ He's at the top of the mega‐slide.

And he's ready to go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ And a nice jumping start.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, man!

Just goes head first into the right buoy.

‐ Oh, it's cold. Oh!

My nipples! Oh!

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ Smooth sailing down the slide.

Then he starts heading towards something

he'd never had to protect Oprah from...

‐ Whoa!

‐ A bright orange buoy!

[tape whirs]

And you get a buoy. ‐ Whoa!

‐ And you get a buoy. ‐ Whoa!

‐ And you get a buoy!

‐ Whoa!

‐ He traveled 47 feet, 2 inches.

‐ Not sure how that distance will hold up.

Best of luck to mama's bank account.

On to our next athlete. Who we got?

[upbeat music]

‐ My name is Kasey Lansdale.

And I am from Nacogdoches, Texas.

And I am a country singer‐songwriter.

Yeehaw!

♪ So give it all you've got ♪

♪ Give it your best shot ♪

[gunshot]

♪ Bring it on ♪

♪ "Cannonball" ♪

‐ Kasey writes country music

but that's a pretty easy thing to do.

I mean, I can write country music.

[exaggerated country accent] ♪ Well, I'll ♪

♪ Tell you about "Cannonball" ♪

♪ I went head first into the water ♪

♪ Water ♪

♪ I went right down into the... ♪

‐ Water.

Water.

‐ ♪ And it broke my... ♪

♪ ♪

‐ Heart.

‐ You're really not good at this.

[dramatic music]

And here we go.

Three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

A very good entry. ‐ Yeehaw!

‐ And she's got a nice little screech.

♪ Singing yeehaw ♪

♪ She went into the water ♪

[cheers and applause]

‐ Whoo! ‐ That was a very good run.

She should be very excited.

‐ She comes in going at 105 feet, 11 inches.

‐ Not a bad score at all. Who's our next athlete?

‐ Our next competitor is Adrian Ramos.

‐ My name's Adrian Ramos. I'm 23 years old.

I'm from Whittier, California. And I'm a FedEx driver.

I love my job because I never know what's gonna happen

on the other side of the door.

It's like the same thing as "Cannonball."

[crash]

I don't expect what's gonna happen.

I'm ready to deliver here on "Cannonball."

I'm not nervous. I'm not nervous.

Okay, maybe I'm a little nervous.

‐ Saying "I'm not nervous"

is a huge sign that you are nervous.

We'll know for sure in

three, two, one.

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

Jumping start, really smooth.

A lot of drag, though.

But he's keeping his board up,

and he's trying to maneuver, but he gets through.

Well, that was hard,

but still not as hard as it is

keeping people up‐to‐date with the leaderboard.

Rocsi?

‐ With a distance of 84 feet, 1 inch,

Adrian delivers himself into second.

Kasey currently at the top of the charts.

And Tim Willy is in last.

All right, let's meet our next competitor,

Jessica‐Lee Korkes.

‐ Let's do it!

Ayo. I'm Jessica‐Lee.

I'm straight out of Jersey,

which basically means I'm Italian,

but really, I'm Sicilian,

which means I don't have a filter.

I say exactly what's on my mind.

I nip everything in the bud,

and I came to win, so where's my money?

Let me explain something to y'all.

I'm from Jersey,

and I ain't scared of sh‐‐nothing.

[dramatic orchestral music]

‐ we see a lot of people talk a good game.

‐ Yeah.

‐ And then they go 100 stories high

on our mega‐slide, and they go, "Oh, wait."

‐ Right now, I am gonna pee my pants a little bit.

This is really high.

‐ Jessica is up on the slide.

And she says she's about to pee her pants.

If I had any advice for you,

I would wait till you get into the water.

Why? Because then no one knows you peed your pants.

And here we go. Three...

two...one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ [high‐pitched scream]

‐ Uses the screaming technique.

crowd: [groans]

all: Oh!

‐ [high‐pitched scream]

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

I think that's the highest

I've ever seen somebody's legs, Mike.

‐ For sure, Rocsi.

And with no drag, she got great velocity,

then, just like a hit from Tony Soprano himself,

she ends up underwater, sleeping with the fishes.

‐ Gotta give her a "A" for effort.

‐ And an "A" for going "In your face" to the buoys.

‐ [chuckling]

And she's standing by with Simon right now.

Let's go to Simon.

‐ She's already doing a dance.

What more do you need? Back to you in the booth!

Come on!

‐ Who is our next athlete?

‐ Domonick "Gianini."

Domonick "George‐ganni."

‐ Come to your grandpa.

‐ Domonick Giorgianni.

‐ Hey, my name's Domonick Giorgianni.

Even though I look like a rock star,

I do not play an instrument.

I'm a videographer for bands.

I'm here on "Cannonball"

because I'm kind of afraid of heights.

I just wanna prove to myself that I can do it.

Yeah!

‐ I don't really see anything on this card

to his advantage.

I mean, he lives fast. He likes to drink cheap.

And he's terrified of heights.

‐ This guy will be out first round.

But it doesn't matter,

because with a name like Domonick Giorgianni,

he's already a winner.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

And he's got a smooth entry.

‐ Oh, [bleep]!

‐ Oh, man. Wow‐‐oh, jeez.

That was fast.

That was probably the fastest entry into the water

that I've seen the entire day.

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ That was flawless.

It looks like he was just skating on ice.

‐ Yeah.

‐ He was so smooth on that water.

Really no bounces, no roughness.

And he kept that nose up off the skimmer.

‐ [bleep]!

‐ Sometimes, you don't have time to react.

So you just gotta go for the distance.

‐ Well, Mike, Domonick Giorgianni is in

with a distance of 112 feet, 11 inches.

The longest run of the day.

He's down with Simon now.

[cheers and applause]

‐ All right, I'm here with Domonick.

Domonick, you were going so fast.

Almost too fast, to be honest.

Did that affect your ability to steer?

‐ Oh, my God. Yeah.

I couldn't process it quick enough.

‐ Process this, pal.

You're moving on to the next round!

[cheers and applause]

Back to you in the booth!

‐ Domonick Giorgianni!

‐ Giorgianni!

‐ I wanna keep on saying his name.

And we will keep on saying his name

in the next round.

All right, also joining Domonick in the second round

is Brandon Gross...

‐ Yeah!

‐ Mary Skinner... ‐ Oh!

‐ And Mat Scollon.

‐ We'll get to know them more in the next round

along with the rest of our top eight.

But for now, we have to say good‐bye

to these other athletes

who are sailing away from us

because they are not moving on.

‐ [screams]

[dramatic orchestral music]

‐ Bon voyage. ‐ Ooh.

‐ Don't hit an iceberg.

‐ I suck!

‐ Hope you packed a life jacket.

Oh, my God.

‐ Ah!

‐ That's just not good.

‐ Yeah, this whole run was just a complete mess.

‐ [splutters]

‐ Stick around, because when we come back,

we're gonna throw more people in the...

♪ Water ♪ ‐ [groans]

‐ ♪ Water ♪

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

Round two is here,

and our 12 competitors

have already been whittled down to eight.

‐ The first round really kicked things off

with a bang.

I cannot wait to see

what round two has in store for us.

‐ I can't either.

And since all we're waiting on right now

is for me to stop talking, let's get started.

‐ All right, our next challenge is Target Toss.

A massive cannonball will drop

onto our giant air blaster

and launch our athletes skyward,

where they will throw balls

into our one‐, two‐, and three‐point zones,

or our four‐point box.

‐ Here, it comes down to quantity versus quality.

Take a rapid‐fire approach,

and you can get a lot of low‐end points.

Or you can slow things down and go for accuracy

and focus on the higher points.

‐ The six competitors that come closest to the marker

move on.

The other two go home.

All right.

Who's our first competitor, Rocsi?

‐ Our first competitor is Mat Scollon.

‐ Scoot yourself.

My name is Mat Scollon.

I'm a PE teacher for kids 2 1/2 to 7.

Their capacity for paying attention is short.

So I have to constantly entertain them

by falling down, doing goofy things.

If they're laughing, they're following directions.

Once the jokes stop coming, they check out.

Kids, this one's for you, baby!

I'm cozy like a baby in the womb, man.

This is the sweetness.

Give me the juice, baby!

‐ Not what you expect to hear from a PE teacher.

Oh, well.

Time to give him the juice.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ [screams]

‐ Oh, he hesitated on the first one.

I don't think he got very many off.

That was actually not very good.

‐ I heard a belly flop from up here.

‐ I heard a big splash.

‐ My stuff, my junk got a little juiced there.

‐ [chuckles] Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ He says his "junk got a little juiced."

If only some of those throws

could've gotten a little juiced too.

Total weak sauce.

‐ And Mat's score is officially in right now.

He got one three‐point ball,

and three one‐point balls.

A total of six points.

‐ Not bad for the PE teacher.

We'll see if it's enough for him to graduate

to the next round.

‐ That was way harder than I thought.

Dang. ‐ All right.

Let's meet our next competitor.

Brandon Gross.

He's almost a new dad.

‐ Played a lot of water polo growing up.

Pretty sure I have the advantage

when it comes to water ability, so I'm ready to take them down.

I'm gonna be having my firstborn in a few months.

This one's for you, son.

One day, you'll watch me on TV,

and be like, "Is that my dad

flying through the air like Superman?"

And I'll be like, "Yes.

Yes, it is."

‐ This is the person I think is gonna do really, really well.

He's a water polo expert.

I mean, what do water polo players know how to do?

Throw balls in the water.

It's like he's been doing this his whole life.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Oh!

‐ Ooh.

His future son's gonna have fun watching that

when he gets older.

‐ Damn.

‐ With a one one‐point ball

and two three‐point balls,

Brandon got an impressive seven points.

‐ Who's our next athlete?

‐ Coming up next is Domonick Giorgianni.

You gotta do it with the Italian accent when you do it.

‐ [in accent] Giorgianni.

‐ I think Domonick has just got a rock 'n' roll mentality.

‐ Oh, my God. [laughs nervously]

That's insane.

I can't even. That's too crazy.

‐ This guy's a rock star.

He knows what's going on.

He focuses. He strategizes.

This guy is a platinum hit.

‐ Ah, [bleep].

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Please don't die.

‐ What did he say?

[crowd gasps]

[laughter]

‐ Oh, my God.

‐ Let's just look at the instant replay, please.

‐ He was definitely not ready

for the air blaster to explode.

And he goes into almost a Superman pose.

Throwing balls left and right.

‐ Oh! ‐ No rhyme, no reason.

Classic spray‐and‐pray technique.

‐ As we wait for his results,

he's making his way on to Simon right now.

‐ What was your game plan?

‐ Game plan was just be ambidextrous,

and just start going crazy.

But I don't think I did very well.

[chuckling]

‐ You don't think you did very well?

‐ I don't think so at all.

‐ I got news for you, pal. You got ten points!

[cheers and applause] ‐ What?

‐ Incredible!

I mean, I'm blown away.

Back to you in the booth.

‐ Domonick is the dark horse here.

The only thing I love more than saying his name

is reading his name.

So hit us up with the leaderboard, Rocsi.

‐ Sounds good, Mike.

Domonick Giorgianni once again

at the top of the leaderboard.

Followed by expecting dad, Brandon,

and PE teacher, Mat.

A little earlier, delivery man Adrian

dropped a strong performance at our doorstep

with a total of eight points.

‐ His eye was on the prize. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Really good throw.

‐ While country singer, Kasey,

moseyed on up to the air blaster

and scored herself a paltry six points.

‐ She's throwing left and right.

Left and right.

Can I get a low‐key yeehaw?

‐ Yeehaw.

And bringing up the rear is Mary Skinner,

who skimmed her way through last

with only five points.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Jessica‐Lee Korkes is ready.

Our resident Jersey girl.

What do you think about her, Mike?

‐ I think she's gonna come in here ready to put on a fight.

‐ Okay, so my strategy is gonna be

just cling on to the balls, you know?

I'm pretty used to that one.

And I'm gonna throw them as far as I can.

‐ She's from Jersey, so maybe she's gonna have to get that

Jersey arm up and ready to throw as far as possible.

‐ You mean, like, fist‐pumping? ‐ Yeah.

[electronic dance music] ‐ [imitating dance music]

‐ Do your‐‐beat up the beat. [air horn blasting]

‐ [imitating air horn blasting]

‐ [laughing]

[air horn continues blasting]

♪ ♪

‐ Good job, Mike.

You're a regular Jersey boy.

[air horn blasts] ‐ Whoo!

[bleep] crazy.

Let's do it.

‐ And here comes the count.

In three, two, one... ‐ Whoo!

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ [high‐pitched scream]

‐ Ooh.

That's gotta hurt.

‐ [bleep], my ass hurts!

[screams] ‐ She seems to say a profanity

that I cannot say on "Cannonball."

‐ [laughs] Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ She got turned to the side on the launch.

But her Jersey fist‐pumping arm still delivered.

Nice job.

‐ She got one three ball, one two ball,

and two one balls.

A total of seven points. ‐ [screams]

‐ Very good performance.

‐ Let's talk to Simon with Jessica‐Lee now.

‐ All right, Jessica‐Lee. Guess what?

We need more of you. ‐ Yeah!

‐ You're moving on to the next round!

[cheers and applause] Back to you in the booth!

Take it away!

‐ [screaming]

♪ ♪

‐ All right, thank you very much, Simon.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ Coming up next is Tim Williams.

He just barely made it into this round.

‐ Hey! Whoo!

Let's get it! That's my money!

I need to pay my bills!

[screams]

[register dings] Let's go!

‐ He is hyped. He is psyched.

He is ready to go. ‐ Yes, he is, Mike.

Tim Willy needs at least seven points

to move on to the next round.

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ And he is in the air. ‐ Whoo!

‐ I think‐‐did he get all six? ‐ Oh, whoa!

‐ He got all six. ‐ Oh, my God.

‐ With a nice diving for the finale.

‐ [grunting]

‐ That great run has left Tim Willy speechless.

‐ While Tim Willy struggles to catch his breath,

let's check out the replay.

What do you see, Mike? [funky music]

‐ He is making his mama and Oprah proud

by throwing every ball every which way,

Tim Willy style.

‐ And Tim's results are in right now, Mike.

Seven points on the board.

‐ He's gonna be moving on to the next round.

‐ He's gotta feel really good,

as he's standing by with Simon.

Simon?

‐ I hate giving good people bad news.

‐ For real? ‐ Yeah.

So I'm not gonna do that.

You're moving on! ‐ [screaming]

‐ And with that score, Tim Willy sends

country singer, Kasey, packing.

‐ On the up side, at least Kasey will have something

other than the loss of her pickup truck

to write a song about.

‐ There they are.

The top six that are moving on

to the next round.

‐ Don't go anywhere,

because up next,

we put a shark in the water.

That may not be true,

but it's absolutely worth sticking around to find out.

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

We've arrived at round three with only six athletes left

in the pursuit of our $10,000 grand prize.

‐ This show has been crazy.

Mike, I can't believe that we're already in round three.

‐ Well, you know what they say.

Time flies when you're hanging out with Mike.

‐ Do people actually say that?

‐ No, but I'm trying to make it a thing.

And if I say it enough, it'll catch on.

‐ Okay, Mike, next up is Drag & Fly.

Elevated 40 feet in the air, our athletes

will hold on to a water ski handle

as they accelerate off the launchpad,

reaching speeds up to 40 miles per hour.

The five athletes who can fly the farthest

will advance to the semifinals.

The person who travels the shortest distance

is headed home.

‐ Don't let this challenge psych you out.

You need courage.

So shut off your brain, and turn on the crazy.

‐ Let's check in with our first brave challenger.

Jessica‐Lee Korkes.

‐ She's a Jersey girl.

I mean, she probably went to the Jersey Shore

a couple times.

Maybe a little bit of water skiing.

I don't know.

‐ I'm gonna try to propel with my feet

landing first in the water,

hopefully, doing a pencil dive

because last time, I broke my anus.

‐ All right. Here comes the count.

‐ Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ And the ski rope is tugged.

She pulls off, butt‐first into the water.

‐ [screams] ‐ Ooh.

Not quite a pencil dive.

I wonder if she's happy with that run.

‐ We will see.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike? ‐ Well, Rocsi,

Jersey girl started off with big dreams

of protecting her butt.

But in midair, she blanks.

And as she's about to hit the water,

she decides to protect... her nose?

‐ Jessica‐Lee's official distance

is 55 feet, 5 inches.

‐ [in slow motion] Oh, my ass!

‐ Who's our next athlete?

‐ Domonick Giorgianni.

He's one of our athletes who's just completely surprised us.

‐ You look at Domonick Giorgianni,

and you think, "He's just a rocker.

He's out here just to have a good time."

Nah. He's here to play.

‐ Oh, my God. [laughs nervously]

It's so high.

Ah!

‐ He's always impressed us each and every time.

And I can't wait to see what he does in this challenge.

‐ Oh, [bleep].

‐ Domonick is always full of nerves

but always delivers.

‐ And here we go.

In three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Come on, Domonick.

‐ Holy [bleep]!

[cheers and applause]

‐ Domonick not happy with the initial jolt,

but stayed focused the whole time.

That looks like it's another great run.

‐ He sure did.

At 58 feet, 9 inches,

Domonick Giorgianni once again takes over first place.

‐ What? ‐ Who is our next competitor?

‐ Coming up next is Brandon Gross.

‐ Let's go, Brando.

‐ At 6 feet, 190 pounds, what do you think, Mike?

‐ He's got the strength to pull forward on the release.

Just gotta hold on.

Just hold on, Brandon Gross.

♪ Hold on ♪

[dramatic music]

Here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

♪ ♪

Oh, man.

That is a really early release.

But you know what?

He still got some pretty good distance on that.

‐ Whoo!

‐ Yeah, let's take a look at the instant replay, Mike.

‐ Expecting dad Brandon all smiles at the top.

But then the bottom drops out,

and he's operating without a safety net,

much like parenting.

‐ Brandon had good body awareness,

sticking his feet in front of him.

And he comes in with a distance

of 55 feet, 9 inches.

‐ Who's our next competitor? ‐ All right.

Coming up next is Adrian Ramos,

our fearless delivery guy.

‐ I'm not scared.

Okay, maybe I'm a little scared.

‐ He's been middle‐of‐the‐road.

But this challenge is where you need to show up

because it takes you to the semifinals.

‐ Come on, Adrian.

You gotta deliver for me, pal.

‐ And Adrian is down and ready to go.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Ski rope is pulled.

Coming in hot. Feet first.

And he got really good distance off the launchpad.

‐ Adrian!

‐ Killed it.

‐ Let's take a look at the replay.

Mike, what do you see?

‐ Eyes closed on the launch.

Then airmail into the water.

Oh, rough landing.

Delivery guy should have mailed himself

in one of those bubble envelopes.

‐ Adrian comes in with a distance

of 55 feet, 6 inches,

just ahead of Jersey Jessica.

‐ What are you gonna do with that 10 grand if you win?

‐ You know what?

My dad's always been working hard.

He's been using a really messed up car.

I'm trying to buy him a car. That's what I wanna do.

‐ That's great. That's great.

‐ Wants to buy his dad a car.

‐ Hard not to root for him now. ‐ I mean...

Me, I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm gonna buy myself this.

Buy myself that."

These people are really amazing.

‐ So many amazing stories.

And that takes us to the greatest story ever told.

Our leaderboard.

Adrian sneaks in to third place,

which leaves Jersey Jessica on the bubble.

‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Mat Scollon is ready up there at the launchpad.

‐ Who wants a piece of this?

‐ So what do you think of Mat, Mike?

‐ Well, he's Chatty Matty. He loves to talk a lot.

So you gotta love that about him.

But he's been off to a slow start today.

But he's full of confidence and looks like...

‐ Okay. ‐ He's ready to step it up.

‐ Let's fly, baby.

‐ Semifinals are on the line.

In three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

Oh, my goodness.

This might be the earliest release

out of anyone today.

‐ Whoo‐hoo‐hoo!

‐ He's living life right now.

Hopefully his score is as good as he's feeling.

‐ I'm king of the world!

‐ Let's take a look at that instant replay

as he's yelling, "I'm king of the world."

‐ I'm king of the world.

‐ King of the world?

He's not even king of this stunt.

Luckily, he's a PE teacher and not an English teacher

because king of the world isn't a proper description

for what he just did.

‐ Okay, Mike, Mat comes in at 53 feet, 6 inches,

dropping him into last place.

Coming up is Tim Williams. What do you think of Tim?

‐ You know, the past two rounds,

he hasn't showed up to the game.

‐ I think he has a lot to prove.

He's gotta really, really show out in this round.

‐ I gotta win this one. First place.

No more teething it.

No, no more. First place.

‐ Still hoping to pay off his bills.

Tim Willy needs to beat Mat's 53 feet, 6 inches

if he wants to keep his rent money dreams alive.

‐ Oh, Lord. What am I getting into?

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

He's got a good grip. ‐ Whoo!

‐ And he is‐‐

all: Oh. ‐ Ooh, wow.

‐ Oh, my God. ‐ Ouch.

Oh, geez. ‐ That looked like it hurt.

Let's take a look at this instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ After the launch, he lets go really early.

And then he just belly flops‐‐ kerplop‐‐

right into the water.

You can tell it took the air out of his lungs

as he's going... [wheezes]

‐ Yeah, good‐looking belly flops

aren't gonna get you close to $10,000.

Tim Willy comes in at 52 feet, 10 inches.

Tough break for Tim Willy.

Simon's down with Mat, and some good news for him.

‐ Well, Mat. ‐ Yeah?

‐ You're moving on to the semis!

[cheers and applause] Yeah!

Back to you, Mike and Rocsi.

‐ Our top five is set.

These athletes are headed

to the semifinals

and they are all one step closer

to winning it all.

‐ And sadly, that means we have to say good‐bye

to one of the all‐time greats.

Timothy "Tim Willy" Williams.

‐ [echoing] The chosen one is here.

Whoo!

I need to pay my bills!

I don't wanna ask my mama for no more money.

Oh! My nipples!

Oh!

‐ We'll be right back...

[somber music]

[upbeat music]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

We're down to five athletes.

And that $10,000 grand prize

is just one round away.

‐ I can't believe we're already into the semifinals.

I gotta say this is one heck of a top five, Mike.

What do you think?

‐ Well, personally, my top five

is Tupac, Biggie, Jay‐Z, Eminem, and André 3000.

‐ I mean, not at all what I meant.

But also, a pretty good top five.

Up next, it's Ripcord.

Our athletes will be yanked 50 feet into the air.

And from there, they'll need to grab a ripcord

while moving forward,

and then pull it at the right time

in hopes of touching down

as close to our target as possible.

‐ This one's gonna be nasty.

You're gonna be pulling three Gs.

That's faster than most roller coasters.

‐ The four athletes who get the closest

to the center of the target

will move on to the finals.

The one who is the farthest away will go home.

All right.

Let's head on over the "Cannonball" platform

where our first competitor is ready and waiting.

The PE teacher, Mat Scollon, is up.

What do you think of Mat, Mike?

‐ This guy has been middle‐of‐the‐road

this entire competition.

And when you're in the semifinals,

you need to step up your game.

[dramatic music]

Mat is on the ripcord right now.

He is full crouch.

He is locked and loaded, in...

both: Three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Ah! ‐ And he is off.

‐ Ah, ah, ah!

‐ He's got the ripcord in his hand.

both: Oh, man. all: Aww.

‐ That sounded like it hurt.

‐ [groaning]

‐ He's got a little bit of a heavy breathing.

Could've been from the force when he hit the water.

You never know.

‐ [groaning]

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

‐ Well, Rocsi, all the jumping jacks and pushups in the world

couldn't help Mat on Ripcord.

This teacher got a physical education

on punishment.

Ouch.

‐ And Mat's score is in right now, Mike.

31 feet, 3 inches.

‐ [elongated groan]

‐ Mat sounds like he's having

his "When Harry Met Sally" moment.

Not in front of the kids, Mat. ‐ Owie! Owie, ow.

‐ Who's our next athlete?

‐ Our next competitor is Brandon Gross.

‐ Let's go, baby.

‐ Well, he has a childhood filled with water sports.

But I guarantee none of them

are like the challenges he's done

in this competition thus far.

‐ Whoo.

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ And he is up. ‐ He's flying.

‐ He looks like he's on. He's releasing.

And he‐‐wow, he is nowhere near that target.

‐ [grunts] Damn it.

‐ Mike, Brandon's score is in right now.

Not impressive at all.

35 feet, 2 inches from the target.

‐ Brandon's timing was completely off.

‐ It was a little bit premature with the release.

‐ Don't worry, Brandon.

It happens to a lot of athletes.

‐ [laughing] ‐ Who do we got next?

‐ Coming up next is Adrian Ramos.

He's our fearless delivery guy.

‐ I got this.

‐ Adrian's out here to help his dad buy a car.

His dad's gotta be impressed

with the effort his son is showing here today.

‐ It's time to fly. Bring it.

‐ Can Adrian deliver himself on time and on target?

We'll find out in...

three, two, one...

Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Ugh! ‐ And he is off.

‐ Whoa! ‐ Oh, no, Adrian!

That is way too soon!

‐ [grunts]

‐ That was a mediocre delivery at best.

"Standard shipping" written all over it.

‐ And Adrian's score is in right now.

31 feet, 11 inches, Mike.

‐ I'm not sure that score is gonna hold up, Rocsi.

Who's our next athlete?

‐ The only female competitor that we have...

‐ Let's go.

‐ Going into the semifinals right now.

Jessica‐Lee Korkes is coming up next.

Our resident Jersey girl.

What do you think of Jessica?

‐ She's been great all day. ‐ Yeah.

‐ Nobody's represented Jersey this well

since that "Jersey Shore" show.

‐ And the crowd goes wild.

[cheers and applause]

‐ She looks like she's ready to go.

Nice low stance.

The pressure's on.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

And she is off. She's got the ripcord.

‐ [screaming] ‐ She pulls it.

And very close.

Very good job. [cheers and applause]

‐ That was a really, really good run.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

Mike, what do you see?

‐ Jessica going with the patented spread‐eagle move.

[eagle caws]

MJ's got the fadeaway.

Duncan's got the bank shot.

And Jessica‐Lee's got the move

that will put her in the Jersey Hall of Fame.

‐ Jessica‐Lee representing for the ladies

and delivered, Mike.

‐ That, she did.

How about our leaderboard, Rocsi?

‐ Well, here's one, Mike.

At 29 feet, 4 inches,

that puts Jessica atop the leaderboard

with just one more athlete to go.

Expecting dad Brandon Gross is on the bubble,

and in danger of going home.

‐ Who's our next competitor?

‐ Our favorite name to say! Domonick...

both: Giorgianni!

‐ Oh. Whoo.

‐ One of our favorites right here at "Cannonball."

‐ Well, not only does he have the greatest name,

but he's been doing the best

in this competition round by round.

But look at him, Rocs.

That's not the look of a world‐class athlete.

That's the look of a guy who's been told

they discontinued his favorite guyliner.

But I'll tell you what!

This guy's not going anywhere.

‐ Hopefully we haven't hyped him up so much

that we just jinxed him.

‐ Probably did. ‐ [laughs]

‐ And here we go.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Holy [bleep]!

‐ Oh, boy.

both: Oh, wow!

‐ What a good run.

both: Giorgianni, Giorgianni,

Giorgianni, Giorgianni,

Giorgianni, Giorgianni!

‐ [laughs] ‐ [groans]

‐ Not a really chantable name,

but we just did a good chant for it.

‐ I know. We tried.

‐ Was not expecting that one.

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

[rock music]

‐ Startled at the top, he lets us know about it.

‐ [in slow motion] Holy [bleep]!

‐ And just like a rock star,

he knows when to shred those chords.

[radical guitar solo]

Great timing, and a very close distance.

This guy continues to surprise me

time and time again.

‐ But he's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon? ‐ All right, Domonick.

You got 28 feet, 5 inches

from the center of the target,

which is the best score of the day so far.

‐ No way!

‐ And you're moving on to the finals!

I swear to God. I would never lie to you!

I would never lie to him!

Back to you in the booth!

I would never lie to Domonick!

I'd never lie to him.

‐ There you have it. The finals are set.

And soon, one of these four people

will be heading home with $10,000.

I'm glad we still got a lady representing

going into these finals.

‐ But if you're going up against Domonick...

both: Giorgianni.

‐ You better be scared.

‐ Everybody better be scared.

Get ready. ‐ We'll be right back.

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball,"

where it's time for the finals.

We started with 12, but only 4 are left.

And only one will be leaving

with our grand prize of $10,000.

‐ This is what we've been building to all day, Mike.

Win or go home.

Will it be PE teacher Mat Scollon,

Jersey girl Jessica‐Lee Korkes,

delivery guy Adrian Ramos,

or everyone's favorite name to say,

Domonick Giorgianni?

‐ So let's get right to it

and take a look at our fifth and final challenge.

‐ It's time for the Cannon.

Our finalists will rocket down our souped‐up mega‐slide,

now 20 feet longer and with a 45‐degree launch at the end.

‐ Which makes it a 100% scarier.

But that's not all.

When they hit that launch,

they'll be in total darkness.

Each athlete's maximum height

plus total distance

equals their final score.

♪ ♪

This is the finals...

for $10,000!

‐ ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, yeah ♪

Mat Scollon is up first.

What do you think of Mat, Mike?

‐ We're not sure what Mat we're getting ever.

In each round, he's been a different Mat.

I wanna see a Mat that's a champion Mat.

How about that?

‐ Kids at home, I need your power.

Focus.

Give me all of your power so I can fly further,

fly higher, fly better than anybody here!

‐ Shaking off the nerves.

‐ You better be ready, Mat.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Yeah! Here we go, baby!

‐ No drag whatsoever.

‐ [yells]

‐ Wow. ‐ Man.

‐ Whoo!

‐ That was a really, really good run.

Let's take a look at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ He's in full attack mode.

He attacks the entry. No drag.

Then the PE teacher demonstrates

how to do a pushup off the launch.

He asked his students for help.

And they delivered.

‐ Mat gets a so‐so height of 22 feet, 6 inches.

But he soars for a distance of 35 feet, 5 inches

and gets a total score of 57 feet, 11 inches.

He's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon?

‐ All right, Mat. Very good.

Do you think that's good enough to win "Cannonball"?

‐ God, I mean, it sounds good. I felt good.

I have to believe that I won, you know?

I'm doing it for the right reasons.

I had my children at home giving me all the power.

So hopefully I can make them proud.

Come on, baby! ‐ Love to hear that.

Back to you in the booth.

‐ Thank you very much, Simon.

Who is our next finalist?

‐ Here we go.

‐ Next up is Jessica‐Lee Korkes.

What do you think of Jessica?

‐ Well, Jessica is loud.

‐ [laughs] ‐ And she loves to chat.

‐ And guess what? She's in the finals.

‐ Your girl J‐Lee is about to be shot through a cannon,

and I'm gonna do a cannonball in the water.

Because the show is "Cannonball."

You know what I mean? Come on, now.

‐ This PE teacher is really sweating it.

If he loses, he's gonna be the guy

not allowed at the cool kids table.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ [grunts] Let's go, [bleep].

‐ And her legs are up.

No drag whatsoever. ‐ [screams]

‐ But forgets to throw away the sled.

It just rides with her all the way.

‐ Yeah.

‐ But man, did she gain some height.

‐ She did get some height.

Let's take a look at that replay.

‐ Oh, I'm so cold!

‐ She attacks the entry.

But then it goes wrong once she's out of the cannon.

She's more worried about plugging her nose

than she is about getting height and distance.

This is for 10 grand.

That is not gonna cut it.

‐ Jessica‐Lee's big reach

gave her a height of 23 feet, 9 inches.

But a disappointing distance of 28 feet, 4 inches

only gives her a total of 52 feet, 1 inch.

‐ [in slow motion] Yeah!

‐ Well, you know what that means.

It's back to the Jersey turnpike for Jessica‐Lee,

as her time here has come

to a screeching halt.

‐ That's right.

PE teacher Mat remains

in first place,

showing all his kids

why you should stay in school.

‐ Don't move a muscle because when we come back,

our final two challengers attempt to take home

our $10,000 grand prize.

We'll be right back.

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music]

‐ Welcome back to "Cannonball."

It's finals time.

With two athletes remaining,

We're halfway through the final round,

and mere minutes away from handing over

our grand prize of $10,000.

‐ With the score of 57 feet, 11 inches,

PE teacher Mat Scollon proved too tough

for Jersey Girl Jessica‐Lee Korkes,

Mat takes over the top spot.

Who will be our "Cannonball" champion?

‐ Let's find out right now.

‐ All right.

Our next athlete is Adrian Ramos.

Simon caught up with him earlier

to see how he's feeling

ahead of this final challenge.

Let's take a look.

‐ All right, Adrian.

You're not a man of many words, are you?

‐ No.

‐ Do you think you're gonna win?

‐ Yes.

‐ Does this shirt make me look fat?

‐ No.

‐ Honesty.

‐ So what do you think of Adrian, Mike?

‐ Well, Adrian's been middle of the pack.

He almost got eliminated last round.

So if I'm Adrian, I'm thinking,

"I need to do my best right now."

[dramatic sting]

‐ He needs to get at least 58 feet

to knock off PE teacher, Mat, from first place

and give himself a shot at the $10,000.

It's not gonna be easy.

‐ Let's do it.

Three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ And a nice entry. He's got his feet up.

No drag. ‐ [yelps]

‐ Wow. Look at the height, distance.

That is the type of run you want in the finals.

‐ The height was definitely there, Mike.

‐ That was the highest I've seen anyone go.

‐ Let's take a look at the instant replay.

What do you see, Mike?

‐ He gets maximum velocity

because he has very little drag.

As he explodes out of the cannon,

you can just see he reaches for the height.

Then a 180 twist in the air

just because why not?

‐ Amazing height for sure.

27 feet, 2 inches.

And best distance so far as well

at 38 feet, 4 inches,

for a total of 65 feet, 6 inches.

‐ Nice job, Adrian. ‐ Taking the lead.

‐ That's gonna be really hard to beat.

He's standing by with Simon right now.

Simon? ‐ All right, Adrian.

You are in first place. ‐ Whoo!

‐ Very well done.

We're gonna see if that's good enough to hold up.

Mike, Rocsi, back to you in the booth.

‐ All right. Thank you very much, Simon.

Well, it's our fourth and final athlete.

The moment could not be any bigger for...

both: Domonick Giorgianni!

‐ This guy was made for "Cannonball."

Domonick is getting ready.

His motto is "Live fast and drink cheap."

‐ [laughing] ‐ You win this $10,000,

you're not gonna be drinking cheap anymore, my friend.

‐ Top shelf, baby.

‐ At the top of the mega‐slide.

In three, two, one...

both: Cannonball! [air horn blasts]

‐ Aww. Bit of a rough entry.

He's got a little bit of drag.

‐ [yelps]

‐ Wow. ‐ Man.

‐ That is pretty good.

‐ Oh, ah! ‐ Not too shabby.

‐ [yells] ‐ It's what he's done all day.

Adrian knew that this would be his competition.

What do you see in the replay, Mike?

‐ Well, the man with the greatest name

didn't have the greatest footing.

But he picked up speed and shot out of the cannon,

getting as much height

as there are vowels in his name.

Then, he leaned out for distance.

Once again, he brought it.

‐ Simon has Domonick's final score,

and he's about to lay it on Adrian right now.

Simon?

‐ My man from Whittier.

Dude, I just got Domonick's score.

Domonick went 56 feet, 2 inches.

You've just won "Cannonball"!

[cheers and applause] ‐ Whoo!

‐ You just won $10,000! ‐ Yes!

‐ How are you feeling right now?

‐ I feel so great right now, man.

My dad's gonna appreciate this.

My dad's gonna be so proud of me, man.

He needs this car. I'm doing this just for him.

I'm glad I won, man.

‐ It's for good reasons, folks.

High‐five your fans. You got fans.

This is what it's all about, folks.

This is why we do it.

This is why we're here.

Mike, Rocsi, back to you in the booth.

‐ Congratulations, Adrian Ramos.

‐ So good.

It was so much fun watching him win.

‐ Well, it was fast. It was fun.

And now it's finished.

For Rocsi Diaz and Simon Gibson,

I'm Mike Mizanin.

And we'll see you next time on "Cannonball."

[victorious music]

♪ ♪

announcer: Well, that's the show, folks.

This is "Cannonball."

Brought to you by Giant Slides Incorporated.

Making giant slides

since USA Network called and asked for one.

♪ ♪