Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:16,084
HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG.
2
00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,522
MAKE THAT
FORMER HIGH COMMANDER.
3
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,690
I AM WRITING THIS
4
00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:26,060
SO THAT FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL KNOW THE TRUTH.
5
00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:28,862
IT ALL BEGAN
TWO DAYS AGO...
6
00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:30,531
OK, WHERE'S MY SHOES?
7
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:34,868
WELL I THINK I SAW ONE OF
THEM RIGHT OVER THERE...
8
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,005
HARRY RECEIVED A MESSAGE
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD
9
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,241
SAYING THAT I WAS
TO BE REPLACED
10
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,710
THE VERY NEXT NIGHT.
11
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:44,945
CRUELLY, THAT
WAS THE VERY NIGHT
12
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:49,583
THAT MARY FINALLY SAID,
"I CARE ABOUT YOU."
13
00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:52,653
OH, MARY, YOU UNDERSTAND
MY EVERY THOUGHT.
14
00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:53,954
I UNDERSTAND.
15
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,124
YOU'VE HAD THE MILK.
WHY BUY THE COW?
16
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,325
NO, MARY.
17
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,826
I WANT YOU.
18
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,994
I WANT THE COW!
19
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:05,433
BUT I WAS SUMMONED
INTO THE BASEMENT
20
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,935
TO MEET MY REPLACEMENT,
21
00:01:07,968 --> 00:01:12,072
AND HERE I AM
IN THIS ENCASEMENT.
22
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,275
NO.
23
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:18,112
I MUST MAKE AN ERASEMENT.
24
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,987
IGNORING ALL
MILITARY PROTOCOL,
25
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:30,158
HE CONFINED ME
IN THIS INVISIBLE BOX.
26
00:01:30,191 --> 00:01:32,426
HA HA HA HA HA.
27
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,465
OH, MY GOD!
28
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:40,401
HE'S TURNED ME
INTO A MIME!
29
00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:51,379
WHAT'S GOING ON
IN THAT PAN?
30
00:01:51,412 --> 00:01:52,346
I'M COOKING SAUSAGES.
31
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:55,883
THOSE ARE LINKS.
I LIKE PATTIES.
32
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:56,784
I'M SORRY, SIR.
33
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,886
SORRY WON'T DO.
PRESS THAT MEAT,
SOLDIER.
34
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,422
I LIKE MY LINKS
FLAT.
35
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,097
WHO ATE
MY STRAWBERRIES?
36
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,199
STRAWBERRIES?
37
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,533
I HAD A PINT OF STRAWBERRIES
IN HERE
38
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,702
WITH A NOTE
CLEARLY MARKED "MINE."
39
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,437
I DIDN'T TAKE THEM.
IT WASN'T ME.
40
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:22,810
MAN, THEM STRAWBERRIES
WAS GOOD EATIN'.
41
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:32,753
IT IS BECOMING
ALL TOO CLEAR
42
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:36,724
HOW MY PREDECESSOR
CHOSE TO RUN THINGS.
43
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,359
YOU WILL FIND
THINGS TO BE
QUITE DIFFERENT
44
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:40,261
UNDER MY COMMAND,
TOMMY.
45
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:42,663
UH, NO, I'M HARRY.
46
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,734
NO. I HAVE DECIDED
THAT FROM NOW ON,
47
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,569
YOU'LL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY.
48
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,404
WHAT ABOUT ME?
49
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:53,274
YOU WILL BE KNOWN
AS TOMMY, TOO.
50
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,242
YEAH, BUT WAIT, WAIT.
51
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,010
TOMMY AND THEN
THE NUMBER 2
OR TOMMY, AS WELL?
52
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:59,980
YOU WILL ALL
BE KNOWN AS TOMMY!
53
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,115
AND THAT'S NOT ALL.
LIEUTENANT.
54
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,218
FROM NOW ON,
YOU WILL WEAR SKIRTS.
55
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:05,719
SKIRTS?
56
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:08,622
SOMETHING LONG
THAT LOOKS PRETTY
WHEN YOU TWIRL.
57
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:10,258
AND STAY AWAY
FROM PLEATS.
58
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,892
YOU KNOW,
NOTHING TOO FUSSY.
59
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,228
OK.
60
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,597
FURTHERMORE, WHEN COUPONS
ARRIVE IN THE MAIL,
61
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,500
I GET FIRST DIBS.
62
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:23,036
I MAY OPEN A BOX OF CEREAL
TO GET THE PRIZE,
63
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,406
BUT I DO NOT THEN
HAVE TO EAT...
64
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:27,675
THE CEREAL.
65
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:31,279
THE BATHROOM
HAS BEEN STOCKED
66
00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:32,846
WITH TWO KINDS
OF TOILET PAPER.
67
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,316
I AND I ALONE...
68
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,385
GET THE QUILTED KIND.
69
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,054
YOU WILL GO TO A BARBER.
70
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,290
I WILL GO TO A STYLIST.
71
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:43,891
NOW, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT.
72
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,259
WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE
HAIR THAN YOU DO.
73
00:03:45,293 --> 00:03:49,096
YOU WILL NEVER MENTION
THAT AGAIN!
74
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:52,566
HAVE I MADE MYSELF
CLEAR, TOMMY?
75
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,201
YES.
YES.
YES.
76
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,067
WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU
WHAT TIME IT IS,
77
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,437
YOU DO NOT SAY,
"IT'S TIME TO DIE."
78
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,808
Evil Dick: AND WHERE
DO I GO FOR WORK?
79
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:35,743
Tommy: THE UNIVERSITY.
80
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,810
AH.
81
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:39,046
SO I RUN
THE UNIVERSITY.
82
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,784
UH, NOT SO MUCH RUN.
YOU TEACH A PHYSICS CLASS.
83
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,819
I'M A TEACHER?!
84
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:49,122
WHAT, WERE ALL
THE JANITORS'
JOBS TAKEN?!
85
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:50,524
SIX MONTHS
ON THIS PLANET,
86
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,292
AND THAT'S ALL
MY PREDECESSOR
ACHIEVED.
87
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:54,027
HOW PITIFUL!
88
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,329
HE WAS SPENDING
A LOT OF TIME
89
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,297
ON THAT WHOLE
DR. ALBRIGHT THING.
90
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,067
AH, YES. MARY.
91
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,437
I'VE GOT PLANS FOR HER.
92
00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,746
THERE'S MY GIRL.
93
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,948
I FEEL SO PRETTY.
94
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,618
NOW PAY ATTENTION.
95
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,719
I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT
FOR YOU.
96
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,421
LIEUTENANT,
TAKE THIS DOWN.
97
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,391
I WILL REQUIRE
THE FOLLOWING ITEMS:
98
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:27,661
500 ROLLS OF SILVER
REFLECTIVE DUCT TAPE,
99
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:30,764
144 CERAMIC CUSTARD CUPS,
100
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:34,034
ONE SUBATOMIC SPECTROMETER,
AND ONE TURKEY BASTER.
101
00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:38,338
YOU SEE, I'M BUILDING
THE GREATEST INCUBATOR
102
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:42,275
THESE PUNY HUMANS
HAVE EVER KNOWN.
103
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,445
AND WHEN IT IS COMPLETED,
104
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:48,248
I WILL SPAWN MY OWN
PRIVATE ARMY OF...
105
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:52,986
OF...
106
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:56,056
FUZZY EASTER CHICKS.
107
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,125
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING AT?
108
00:05:58,158 --> 00:05:59,593
YOU HAVE YOUR ASSIGNMENT.
HOP TO IT!
109
00:05:59,627 --> 00:06:00,394
CAN YOU GIVE US
A RIDE?
110
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:03,631
NO! THE CAR IS MINE
AND MINE ALONE.
111
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:07,401
YOU'RE HUMANS.
USE YOUR FEET.
112
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:15,308
YOU KNOW, I WAS THIS CLOSE
TO KICKING HIS BUTT.
113
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,013
YEAH, I WAS GONNA
KICK HIS BUTT,
114
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:23,216
BUT, YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED YOU'D DO IT.
115
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,317
WELL, WHEN HE
COMES BACK,
116
00:06:24,351 --> 00:06:25,419
I'M KICKING
HIS BUTT.
117
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:26,620
ALL RIGHT.
118
00:06:26,654 --> 00:06:28,456
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
COMPLAINING ABOUT,
HUH?
119
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,758
I DESERVED HIS JOB.
I SHOULD BE
HIGH COMMANDER.
120
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,960
I HAD THE SENIORITY,
I KNOW THE TERRITORY.
121
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,629
SO WHY WASN'T
I PROMOTED? HUH?
122
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,597
BECAUSE I'M THE WOMAN.
123
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,767
ONCE AGAIN, THE WOMAN
WAS PASSED OVER!
124
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,168
YOU WANT ME
TO KICK HIS BUTT?
125
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,936
OH, HARRY!
126
00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:44,505
THERE'S NOT GONNA BE
ANY BUTT-KICKING, OK?
127
00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,139
HE'S HIGH COMMANDER,
AND, LIKE IT OR NOT,
128
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,275
WE'RE SWORN TO FOLLOW HIM.
129
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:51,344
ANYWAY, MAYBE
THIS MISSION COULD USE
A LITTLE DISCIPLINE.
130
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,947
YEAH. NICE SKIRT,
TOMMY.
131
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:59,987
ALL RIGHT,
HOW DO YOU WORK A CAR?
132
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:04,558
SEE,
IT'S THE DIFFERENCE
133
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:07,895
BETWEEN GOOD FABRIC
AND CHEAP FABRIC.
134
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:13,400
THEN AGAIN, MY THIRD HUSBAND
LIKED THEM CHEAP.
135
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,670
YES, YES.
THAT'S FASCINATING.
136
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,105
SAY, DR. SOLOMON,
137
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:21,108
COULD YOU COME OVER
AND GIVE ME A HAND
WITH MY LINT TRAP?
138
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:25,813
OH, I...
139
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,981
I'D LOVE TO, REALLY,
BUT I'M AFRAID
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
140
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,851
YOU SEE,
I HAVE A BAD BACK.
141
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,385
I THINK I KNOW WHY
YOU'RE DOWN HERE.
142
00:07:32,419 --> 00:07:33,353
SAME REASON
MY SECOND HUSBAND
143
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:36,757
USED TO COME
DOWN HERE.
144
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:40,060
BOTTLE OF SCOTCH
HIDDEN IN
THE INSULATION.
145
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,463
OF COURSE,
I ALWAYS KNEW.
146
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,600
THE PINK FUZZ
IN HIS BEARD
GAVE HIM AWAY.
147
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,373
[PANTING]
148
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:55,142
MRS. DUBCEK.
149
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,049
YES?
150
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:05,085
I NEED YOU
TO DO ME A FAVOR.
151
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:10,057
COULD YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND TELL SALLY
THAT I'M DOWN HERE?
152
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:13,293
BUT IF YOU SEE ME
STANDING THERE--
153
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,328
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT--
154
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:19,867
DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ME.
155
00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,736
JUST TAKE SALLY ASIDE
AND WHISPER IT TO HER,
156
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:27,174
AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
MAKE SURE I DON'T HEAR YOU.
157
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:31,712
COME AGAIN?
158
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,016
NEVER MIND.
159
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,885
[BONK]
160
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,805
STOP IT.
161
00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:59,740
OH, HERE'S
THE DUCT TAPE.
162
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:00,540
HOW MUCH
DO WE NEED?
163
00:09:00,574 --> 00:09:03,711
UH, 500 ROLLS,
SILVER REFLECTIVE.
164
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:06,146
OH, WELL, HOW ABOUT
EIGHT ROLLS
OF SORT OF GRAYISH?
165
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,115
THAT'S FINE.
166
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:09,950
WHAT DO YOU THINK
DICK'S DOING NOW?
167
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:11,785
YOU KNOW,
OLD DICK.
168
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:12,886
YOU DON'T THINK
THEY REASSIGNED HIM
169
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,221
TO THE BROWN PLANET,
DO YOU?
170
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:15,956
OHH.
171
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,661
DENNIS!
172
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,730
TOM, SALLY, HARRY,
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
DOING HERE?
173
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:25,398
WELL, WE JUST
HAD TO PICK UP
SOME DUCT TAPE HERE.
174
00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,200
NO, I MEAN ON EARTH.
175
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,769
OH, WELL, WE'RE
DOING THAT THING
176
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,804
WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE A HUMAN FAMILY.
177
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,773
OH, I DODGED
THAT ASSIGNMENT.
178
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,309
WE'VE SEEN YOU ON TV, MAN.
18 REBOUNDS A GAME.
179
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,311
DON'T PEOPLE
SUSPECT ANYTHING?
180
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:41,715
LOOK AT YOU.
THE HAIR, THE TATTOOS.
181
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:45,118
LIKE YOU COULD
BE HUMAN.
182
00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:48,521
THEY THINK I'M WEIRD
OR SOMETHING.
183
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:49,990
I HEAR THAT.
184
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,025
LISTEN, DENNIS,
I GOTTA ASK YOU.
185
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:54,527
MADONNA,
WHERE'S SHE FROM?
186
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:55,395
DETROIT.
187
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,630
DETROIT, EARTH?
188
00:09:56,664 --> 00:09:58,265
GET OUT.
NO!
189
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:00,701
SHE'S HERE.
SHE'S HERE.
190
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:02,102
OH, WHAT ABOUT
MICHAEL JORDAN?
191
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,536
ROBOT.
192
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:05,305
YEAH. I TOLD YOU SO.
SEE?
193
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,107
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
194
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,342
WELL, GUYS,
I GOTTA BE GOING.
195
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,912
PROCEED BOLDLY
AND WITH STEALTH.
196
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,815
JAM ON.
197
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:31,298
I LIKE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH YOUR DESK.
198
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,166
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO DO IT...
199
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,868
TO YOURS?
200
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,807
NO. I LIKE IT MESSY.
201
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:42,009
BAD GIRL.
202
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,311
SO, DR. ALBRIGHT,
REFRESH MY MEMORY.
203
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:48,615
HAVE YOU AND I...
HAD SEX YET?
204
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,218
WHY, YES. I BELIEVE WE HAVE.
205
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:53,721
HOW WAS IT?
206
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,924
IT WAS...NICE.
207
00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:00,593
NEXT TIME IT WON'T BE
SO NICE.
208
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:08,101
UM, WHAT DID
YOU DO TO HIM?
209
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,803
I DON'T KNOW, NINA.
210
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,505
NINA, WHERE'S THAT
COMPREHENSIVE COURSE
SYLLABUS?
211
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:14,374
YOU ONLY ASKED ME
TO DO IT 10 MINUTES AGO.
212
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,042
I'M NOT A MACHINE.
213
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,946
MMM. PITY.
214
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,048
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
TRYING TO SHOW OFF
IN FRONT OF HER?
215
00:11:21,081 --> 00:11:22,983
I DON'T HAVE
TO SHOW OFF.
216
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,686
I JUST HAVE TO...
SHOW UP.
217
00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:31,591
ISN'T HE NAUGHTY?
218
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,498
OLD DICK WOULD HAVE
NEVER ORDERED US OUT
ONTO THE ROOF.
219
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,632
YEAH, WELL, EXCEPT
FOR THAT ONE TIME
220
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,201
HE ORDERED US OUT
ON THE ROOF.
221
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:43,436
OH, WELL, THAT TIME.
222
00:11:44,872 --> 00:11:48,776
A SMALL FIRE
HAS BROKEN OUT
IN THE LIVING ROOM.
223
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:52,645
THERE'S
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER
NEXT TO THE STOVE.
224
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,949
THE STOVE IS
IN THE KITCHEN.
225
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:57,985
OBVIOUSLY.
226
00:11:58,886 --> 00:12:00,287
THIS GUY'S
SUCH A HARD-ASS.
227
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,323
HEY, MAY I REMIND YOU
THAT THAT HARD-ASS
IS OUR HIGH COMMANDER?
228
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,457
WELL, YOU'RE
THE WEAPONS EXPERT.
229
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:06,726
ISN'T THERE SOME WAY
TO GET RID OF HIM?
230
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,862
NO. WE'RE STUCK
WITH HIM.
231
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,530
WE CAN'T JUST FRAG HIM
WITH A GRENADE
232
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,065
WHILE HE'S
TAKING A SHOWER.
233
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,033
HEY, BUT LISTEN.
234
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:15,803
SHOWERS
ACCIDENTALLY EXPLODE
ALL THE TIME.
235
00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,104
I DIDN'T HEAR THAT,
SOLDIER.
236
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:17,971
HE SAID THAT SHOWERS--
237
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:19,940
SHUT UP!
238
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,141
THANK YOU VERY MUCH!
239
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:24,211
THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER
IS NOW ON FIRE.
240
00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:26,947
I MISS THE OLD DICK.
241
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,115
I MISS THE OLD DICK, TOO.
242
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:31,018
WELL, MISSING HIM'S
NOT GONNA BRING HIM BACK.
243
00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,086
I WILL ADMIT THAT
THE OLD DICK'S METHODS
244
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,022
WERE A LITTLE DIFFERENT
THAN THIS DICK,
245
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:38,992
BUT IT'S NOT UP TO US
TO QUESTION
HIS DIRECTIVES, OK?
246
00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:41,661
HE'S IN COMMAND,
AND THAT'S THAT.
247
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,697
HE'S...
248
00:12:44,731 --> 00:12:47,901
HE'S JUST MEAN,
AND THERE'S NOTHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
249
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:50,603
YOU'RE GETTING
ALL WET. STOP.
250
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,873
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
251
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,775
AS DICK ALWAYS
USED TO SAY,
252
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,611
"NEVER LET 'EM
SEE YOU LEAK."
253
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,081
FIRE'S
OUT OF CONTROL.
254
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,316
I'LL BE BACK
IN TWO HOURS.
255
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,889
I MISS DICK.
256
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:22,169
[RING]
257
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,770
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
258
00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,876
[RING]
259
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,777
WHAT DO YOU WANT?!
260
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,481
[RING]
261
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,116
STOP IT.
262
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,751
[RING]
263
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,220
STOP IT!
264
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,793
HELLO.
265
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,662
DR. ALBRIGHT,
DINNER, MY PLACE,
TONIGHT.
266
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,599
IS THAT AN INVITATION?
267
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,067
NO.
268
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:55,535
WELL...
269
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:59,739
THE CAT THINKS HE HAS
THE MOUSE BY THE TAIL.
270
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:04,878
YES, BUT SOMETIMES
THE CAT LIKES TO PLAY
WITH HIS PREY
271
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,680
BEFORE HE GOES IN
FOR THE KILL.
272
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:10,617
WELL, THE CAT
MAY HAVE CLAWS,
273
00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:13,520
BUT THE MOUSE IS QUICK.
274
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,787
TRUE.
275
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:19,192
BUT THE MOUSE
WILL ALWAYS FALL
FOR THE CHEESE.
276
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:23,496
THE CAT LIKES
A LITTLE CHEESE, TOO.
277
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:27,067
AND MILK
AND DEAD BIRDS.
278
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,770
BUT HE ALWAYS
LICKS HIMSELF CLEAN.
279
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,445
YOU WERE ASKING ME
TO DINNER.
280
00:14:38,478 --> 00:14:39,279
UH, YES.
281
00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,049
I'LL BE THERE.
282
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,218
MREOWWW!
283
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:49,422
NO! I'M THE CAT!
284
00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,493
HERE'S THE SYLLABUS
THAT YOU WANTED.
285
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,795
WHY, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL,
NINA.
286
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,097
SO...
287
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:59,933
EXQUISITELY BEAUTIFUL.
288
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,269
WELL, WE GOT A NEW
TONER CARTRIDGE--
289
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,637
DON'T BE SO MODEST.
290
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,313
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
291
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,750
ALL RIGHT.
292
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,155
[BELL RINGS]
293
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,036
EXCUSE ME, THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.
294
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,137
THIS CLASSROOM IS MINE.
295
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:40,173
FIND YOUR OWN.
296
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,642
DR. SOLOMON, WE WERE ALL
JUST WAITING FOR OUR GRADES.
297
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,643
OH.
298
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:44,911
GRADES?
299
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:49,716
I DIDN'T REALIZE TEACHING
INVOLVED EVALUATION.
300
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,219
VERY WELL.
301
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:54,321
YOU NEED YOUR HAIR
STRAIGHTENED.
302
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,289
YOU'RE TOO SHORT
FOR YOUR FACE.
303
00:15:56,323 --> 00:16:00,193
YOU HAVE
A MUSEUM-QUALITY TORSO.
304
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:01,528
YOU...
305
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,063
ARE HARMLESS.
306
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:06,399
YOU WILL BE SPARED
AND USED TO CARRY
HEAVY THINGS.
307
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,634
YOU--
308
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,637
DR. SOLOMON,
WE MEANT OUR
LETTER GRADES.
309
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,041
I'VE DECIDED
TO GIVE YOU ALL...
310
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,377
Ds.
311
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,178
WE GOT Ds.
312
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:20,280
YAY!
YAY!
YAY!
313
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:26,753
Television: AWW!
314
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,888
ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL?
315
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,090
I MEAN, LOOK AT HER,
316
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:34,661
REUNITED WITH
THE BIRTH MOTHER
SHE NEVER KNEW.
317
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:38,131
I LOVE RICKI LAKE.
318
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,367
THE OTHER DAY,
THIS WOMAN FINALLY
CAME FACE TO FACE
319
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,634
WITH HER STALKER.
320
00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:43,370
AND HE WAS SO SWEET,
321
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:46,773
SHE AGREED TO GO OUT
ON A DATE WITH HIM.
322
00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,475
MAYBE IF I WENT
ON THAT SHOW,
323
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:52,545
THEY WOULD REUNITE ME
WITH DICK.
324
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,347
JOHNSON.
325
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,015
DICK JOHNSON.
326
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,550
LITTLE DICKIE JOHNSON.
327
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,652
STOP LOOKING AT ME.
328
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,424
AND WHO IS THIS
EXQUISITE CREATURE?
329
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:05,658
UH,
330
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,328
MAYBE YOU'D BETTER
GO DOWNSTAIRS, MRS. DUBCEK.
331
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,529
MRS. DUBCEK.
332
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,531
I WILL SEE YOU
LATER...
333
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,566
MRS. DUBCEK.
334
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,211
MRRREOW!
335
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,015
TURN THAT RUBBISH OFF.
336
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:32,519
FROM NOW ON,
WE WATCH ONLY GOLF.
337
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:37,790
BUT I WAS GONNA WATCH
THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW.
338
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:41,394
TRANSMISSION INCOMING
FROM THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
339
00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:42,462
WARNING!
340
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:43,596
WARNING!
341
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,598
DANGER! DANGER!
342
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,134
DUE TO A CLERICAL ERROR,
343
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,403
YOUR HIGH COMMANDER
MAY HAVE BEEN
ACCIDENTALLY REPLACED
344
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,140
BY A DISGRUNTLED
FORMER EMPLOYEE
345
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,142
OF THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
346
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:59,646
HE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ARMED
AND EXTREMELY UNPLEASANT.
347
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:00,880
AND REMEMBER,
348
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:02,982
WHEN YOU'RE THINKING
OF GIANT HEADS,
349
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,452
THINK OF THE BIG
GIANT HEAD.
350
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,556
RESUME NORMAL FUNCTIONS
IN 3...
351
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,690
2...
352
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:12,058
1.
353
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:21,534
ALL RIGHT,
WHAT WAS IT?
354
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,703
WRONG NUMBER.
355
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:32,945
NOW, SHUT UP
356
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:35,182
AND GET ME
THAT TURKEY BASTER.
357
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:41,721
WHY DON'T YOU MAKE ME
GET THE TURKEY BASTER?
358
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:46,859
[SNORING]
359
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,299
* HER NAME WAS LOLA
360
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,267
* SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL
361
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,135
* WITH YELLOW FEATHERS
IN HER HAIR *
362
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,570
* AND A DRESS
CUT DOWN TO THERE *
363
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,740
* SHE WOULD MERENGUE
364
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:01,741
HI, OLD DICK.
365
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,476
* AND DO THE CHA-CHA
366
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,578
* BUT THAT WAS 30 YEARS--
367
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,049
DICK!
HARRY!
368
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,251
OHH!
OHH!
369
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,053
OW!
OW! OW!
370
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,356
OW! OW! OW!
371
00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:22,662
INVISIBLE BOX?
372
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:23,095
YEAH.
373
00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,664
OH.
374
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,335
TOMMY! TOMMY!
375
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:31,070
TOMMY!
376
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:31,738
Y-YES.
377
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,672
WHAT IS THE MEANING
OF THIS?
378
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:35,508
I DISTINCTLY ASKED
FOR REFLECTIVE
DUCT TAPE.
379
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,378
OH, UH, ABOUT THAT,
THAT WAS ALL THEY HAD.
380
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:40,079
TYPICAL.
381
00:19:40,112 --> 00:19:41,348
DID YOU GET
THE CUSTARD CUPS?
382
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,883
UH, WE DIDN'T
SO MUCH GET THEM
383
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,653
AS--AS FAIL
TO GET THEM, SIR.
384
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:50,089
DID YOU TRY JENNY'S
RESTAURANT SUPPLY
ON 5th STREET?
385
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:52,759
THEY'RE NOT OPEN
TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.
386
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:57,297
THAT'S RIGHT. CAN'T LET
JUST ANYONE MAKE CUSTARD.
387
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,898
NO, OF COURSE NOT.
NOT ON THIS PLANET.
388
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,834
NO, NO, THAT WOULD BE
TOO SIMPLE.
389
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,737
NO, WE HAVE RETAIL,
AND WE HAVE WHOLESALE.
390
00:20:04,771 --> 00:20:07,574
WE HAVE PINK PACKETS
AND BLUE PACKETS.
391
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,509
REPUBLICANS
AND DEMOCRATS
392
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,612
AND THE PARTY
THAT CRAZY MIDGET
STARTED.
393
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,520
SO MANY CHOICES.
394
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:23,022
HOW THEY ALL LOVE
THEIR FREE WILL.
395
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,625
EVERYBODY HAS A DIFFERENT
POINT OF VIEW.
396
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:28,861
THERE SHOULD BE ONLY
ONE POINT OF VIEW.
397
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,698
MY POINT OF VIEW!
398
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,903
WELL, I HAVE A MESSAGE
FOR THESE HUMANS.
399
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,572
THE BUFFET IS
ABOUT TO CLOSE.
400
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,275
FOREVER.
401
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,744
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
402
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:55,722
[PANTING]
403
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:56,423
AAAHH.
404
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,657
WHAT IS IT, BOY?
405
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:01,528
[PANTING]
406
00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,430
HE WANTS US
TO FOLLOW HIM.
407
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,502
DICK!
DICK!
408
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:10,937
SALLY! LOOK OUT!
409
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,505
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE--
410
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,741
AAH!
411
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,577
OW!
OH, MAN.
412
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,479
OH, YOU GUYS.
413
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,514
THERE'S AN INVISIBLE BOX.
27484
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
