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The world might feel a bit more chaotic and a bit more divided.

It's easy to forget sometimes that there are constants.

Your home's still your home. Your family's still your family

and all the structures of our society are still there

to look after you if you need it.

Here we go.

George's, Resus.

Adult male, code red trauma, ten minutes.

Activate the helipad.

There's been an explosion on a building site.

Heart rate, 200.

Open your eyes. Open your eyes.

Imagine having to work here.

Hello, A&E, can I help?

St George's, London.

It's all gonna kick off now.

One of Britain's busiest A&E departments.

Are we ready to roll?

Carry on CPR. Oh, goodness me, it's all happening, isn't it?

We need to fix that or you won't survive.

Can you say, "Ah"?

A place where life...

Would you say I was fit, Doctor?

Honestly, I think I'm quite fit.

..love...

You are my everything.

I love you and it's OK.

..and loss...

Oh, Mum.

I'm so sorry.

..unfold every single day.

For every bad thing that you see,

there is something equally wonderful out there.

Aw. That's nice.

These are some of the most memorable staff and patient stories

filmed at St George's.

I thought I was gonna die.

You're definitely not gonna die.

You've got too many good doctors and nurses here.

When people experience really significant illness or injuries,

we see people pull together.

We see relationships get stronger.

And we see people reflect on what really is

the most important things in their life.

Whatever happens, it's gonna be OK.

I love you.

Love you too.

Sanita...Jadosova?

Well done.

Ow!

A&E selfie!

Do you remember when I did my thumb?

Oh, yeah.

That was when it was OK.

Blergh! That was OK, that was OK. No, no, no.

I don't want to see it cos it looks horrible. That was when it was bad. Oh, my God.

No, no, no. Please.

Please. Please. Please. Please.

This looks terrible.

Disgusting. What about that one?

Ooof!

That was pain like I've never felt.

Look, I think that's the chest and the pelvis. So if you could do the...

Do you want me to take that? Yeah, let's do that now.

In charge of Resus today is consultant Rhys.

Well, hi, are you the boss? Yes. Hi! Hi!

I'm Julie. Hi, I'm Rhys.

We've worked together... Well, yeah. From a distance. ..ish.

From a distance...

From a distance.

I love that song.

My background is coming from a small village in South Wales.

I was the child that wanted to work out everything,

I needed to know exactly how everything worked.

Shoulder and humerus and elbow.

I couldn't just watch magic. and be like, "OK, that's a trick,

"and they're just manipulating things."

And I suppose I just wanted to know exactly what was going on

and maybe that's why I entered the study of the body.

What's the error here?

And he's got his belt and his mobile phone

and his keys and his coins.

We'll repeat that, I think. Yeah.

St George's, Resus.

Medical trauma.

An 89-year-old male is being brought from his home,

suffering with acute abdominal pain.

What's coming in? Triple A.

Query triple A.

Where are they going? Triple A in four.

Do you want to just get the scanner for me, Carrie?

A triple A is an aortic abdominal aneurysm.

The aorta is the big vessel that runs from the heart...

Shall we have a Patslide? I just want to take him gently

because if we are thinking that it's an aneurysm,

we wanna be gentle with him.

..and if it ruptures, then you can bleed out into your tummy

and lose your whole blood volume within a matter of minutes.

On three, then. One, two... Stay there, Sir John. Relax, relax.

Well done, guys.

This is Sir John.

Sir John? 89-year-old male.

OK. He's been found at home. Yep.

In a collapsed state, but in his bed.

He's complaining of this acute, diffuse abdo pain. Yeah.

Er, also... Back pain? Back pain. He is. Yeah.

Erm, pain's scoring at ten.

And he is Sir John? He's Sir John.

Sir John. Yes. My name's Rhys and I'm one of the doctors.

OK, right. Tell me when this pain started in your abdomen.

Yesterday.

Yesterday? Yes. And does it go through to your back?

Feels a bit on my back.

I'm gonna be gentle, Sir John.

Very resonant, isn't it?

Erm, we're gonna move you to do a scan in a minute,

to look at your abdomen in more detail

to see if this is an aneurysm that's causing the pain.

All right. OK.

Hello, John, I've just checked your...

Got, erm, lactic acid dose...

It was a bit of a surprise, my father being ill,

because I spoke to him...

..he was fine, he was absolutely his normal self,

my wife spoke to him and told him we were coming up in the evening,

he was expecting us.

OK, John, I'm gonna ask you to take that deep breath in in a minute, all right?

When we arrived, we found him...

..in bed, he wasn't around and we thought, "That's a bit odd."

He needs to be imaged.

I think let's do the abdomen. And we'll see if he's...

And if he's got an aneurysm on his abdomen, then we do an aortogram.

If that aneurysm has ruptured, then, yeah,

a lot of people don't even arrive in hospital alive with that situation.

Hello, sir. Hello. Hello.

We're going to do a scan of your abdomen and chest, OK?

We're giving him some fluid. And hold your breath.

89-year-old Sir John is being scanned.

Thank you. Cheers.

Doctors are awaiting the results.

Hi. There we go.

They suspect he has a potentially fatal abdominal aneurysm -

a swollen blood vessel that can rupture and bleed out in minutes.

Just going to have a look at the scan, OK? Be back in a bit.

Do you know what your liver function is like, Sir John?

Your liver is good, is it? Yeah.

Right.

OK, you just merchant the wine? Yes.

Nice. OK. How much would you drink in a week, would you say?

OK, is that the truth, or do a need to add one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK.

I believe your son is coming in, he said he was cycling.

Jonathan?

OK. Right. OK.

Only one of Sir John's children was in London when he was rushed to A&E.

I went up to see him and said, "Are you all right?"

and he said, "No, I'm feeling a little bit unwell,

"I'm under the weather, I think I've eaten something, or something,

I'm feeling a bit sick, something's disagreed with me."

I'm just going to check your blood pressure...

So, I rang 111 and a doctor came out to see him,

realised that his blood pressure was very low and said,

"No, he is not well, we'll call an ambulance."

He could have that, if he's got liver disease,

because he does like to drink.

Well it's his job, isn't it? Wine merchant. Oh!

So, he buys and sells wine.

What an amazing job!

I want to know what the story is about him being a Sir. Yeah.

I really hope he's a proper Sir, a knight.

Not one bought off eBay or Google or something!

I remember a neighbour once saying to me, when I was about four,

"What are you going to be when you grow up, Jonathan?

"What do you want to be?"

And I said, "A gentleman, like my father!"

Are you his son? Yes, I am, yeah.

I'll let your son stay this side.

Don't worry, Pa, you don't need to hold on to this, just relax.

Just lie back.

Of course, his hearing aid is not quite right there,

because he's got the gas, he's got the mask on.

His business acumen was a little bit...

..unusual!

When he set up his wine broking company, on his card it

actually said, "To be sure of an answer, ring any Wednesday!"

He would go from London down to, they had a house in Monmouth,

they'd go down there on a Thursday, socialise with all

their Monmouth friends

and then they would come back on a Monday, or possibly a Tuesday.

And, if things got out of hand,

sometimes they didn't quite get back for the Wednesday!

What do you like to be known as?

What do you like to be known, is it John?

You don't have to call him "Sir John", even though that's his name.

That's fine. Don't bother with that. Just John.

I didn't even know my parents had a title, until I was about 14.

In fact, it wasn't something which we talked about or mentioned.

My father, although he had a title, he wasn't at all stuck up.

He's quite chipper, generally, he's normally in a very good mood,

very jolly, always happy to have people over,

so, you know, he's quite with it, intellectually.

Although he has lapses.

Even when my mother died four years ago, he was saying,

"Jonathan, I wake up every morning and I'm delighted to be alive!"

I was one of five children, the youngest.

I was brought up in the countryside in Northamptonshire.

We lived in a lovely large Jacobean manor house there,

with a big garden, plenty of room in the house.

I remember kids coming back from the local school coming up

to our house and saying, "Cor, it's like a palace here!"

And the rent was a pound a week.

That's all we had to pay for this beautiful house!

We had lots of visitors and a rather carefree childhood.

It was fun.

We all drank wine from quite a young age, probably,

well, before we were eight.

And my father used to get cider in barrels.

I used to regularly have half a pint before going into school

in the morning.

I wasn't sloshed or anything, don't worry,

I wouldn't have any more than that,

but it would taste quite nice in the morning before you went into school!

Doctors are still trying to find the precise cause of John's pain.

He's come in sort of abdominal pain, acute abdominal pain, today.

It's very tender and peritonitic all over his abdomen

and he has got free fluid within the abdomen,

quite a lot of it on the far scan.

Are you warm enough?

You feel quite cold.

If he'd had an aneurysm that had ruptured enough to give him

free fluid, then I would expect him to be sort of totally clapped out.

He seems to be holding his own.

Could be a pancreatitis and he is just acute from that.

Oh!

No, no, no, no!

I'm going on holiday! Are you? I seen that on What's App.

Are you going to Egypt? I mean, I've been to Egypt, I've been to Cairo.

Yeah. All in, 699, two weeks. Yeah.

That's good. That is really good.

Did I tell you Suze and I have booked for a few days

to go to Bilbao? Really? Yeah.

Yeah, it's a total deal.

200 and... 5 pounds or something. Right.

Return on flights. British Airways. Great.

And three nights in a five-star hotel. Sounds fantastic.

What else do you want? Very nice.

Look how excited you're getting. I love it, I love it!

One two, and back. Look!

One, two, three, that way! Yeah!

Oh!

Are you trying to hurt me? Yeah!

Shall we put Nanny's keys back, because you'll end up losing them.

Three-year-old Shane has come to A&E with

his sister Milly and grandmother Marion,

after hurting his leg during a visit to her house.

Are you feeling better?

No. I hurt myself.

Shane comes to visit on a Friday.

And he was out in the garden playing with his other cousins.

They decided to get on the trampoline.

And Shane's jumped off.

I heard a crack, so I went out there to him.

Uh, uh, uh!

His cousins, they said, "He's OK, if he broke his leg, he'd be crying."

He's faking!

Are you thinking he's faking it?

You'd better not be faking it! Yeah!

But you, know, if you love someone, you can

tell from their face that something's not right.

So I said, "I'm going to take him to the hospital."

Has he tried walking on this at all? No, he doesn't want to.

Have you tried, do you want to try walking with me? No, no.

I felt guilty, because it was while I was looking after

him that he done it.

He's the next one to be seen. Oh.

In here.

I've got 12 grandchildren and one on the way.

You can tell when it's getting mad, because all the adults all

start leaving and it's, "Bye, Mum, see you tomorrow, Mum!"

We can't touch things. Look! Why? Don't open it,

Milly, because it's got germs in it.

Can I do that?

When he's a dinosaur and he's got his hands and he's...

..like THAT and doing them noises,

it can get on your nerves a little bit!

You're lifting your leg up all right, son. It hurt me.

It hurt you? Yeah. It's not...

..I hope you ain't making me come here for nothing!

Any breathing problems normally?

No. No?

Any pain, any chest pain?

No. No.

90-year-old John has come into A&E with his wife Iris

and youngest daughter Dawn.

He was referred by his GP,

after a routine test showed an unusually low heart rate.

Very soon, just apart from a very slow heart.

I think you're speeding it up, slowly!

We'll try to, won't we?

Dad is very cheeky!

I think he just enjoys flirting!

So, it's Mr Lindsay.

John to me. Yeah, to my best friends!

I think it's got worse as he's got older.

A bit worrying!

What did you do, John?

I was in telecommunications.

It was GPO Telephones and then it became BT.

Oh, really?

Dad retired way back in 1985.

It's been slowing going downhill, since I left!

He has to keep busy, always got tasks to do.

He's a bit of a list man.

What would you normally be doing on a Tuesday morning then?

Good question.

He starts the Christmas cards in October

and he sends over 100 cards each year.

More like housework, I think.

He does volunteer work at the local library.

It helps him, I think, to feel useful.

Hi guys, hello there.

My name's Chris, I'm one of the doctors. What's been going on?

Problems with the heart. How are you feeling today?

About the same as usual, you know?

Same as usual, nothing's changed? No.

And have you been feeling quite tired, quite knackered?

Well, I get tired pretty quickly.

I can't do half the jobs I used to be able to do. OK.

When they were younger, my mum and dad used to enjoy doing lots

and lots of things together.

How long have you felt like that?

For about the last six months, on and off.

They've always loved tennis.

Let's have a listen to your chest, all right?

So, John, what I want you to do is I want you to take a breath in.

And breathe all the way out.

Every single year, they went to Wimbledon.

When we were growing up, we were quite young,

they would leave us in bed,

to go to join the queue at something like 6 o'clock in the morning.

Hold your breath.

Then, when the gates opened, they would charge,

run in towards Centre Court.

Breathe all the way out.

And they would stay there all day.

And breathe normally.

My brother, sister and I were a bit disgruntled,

because we had salad left for us every day for a fortnight

and Instant Whip for pudding, so...

..that got a bit boring for us, but they had a wonderful time!

So, yes, your heart was going quite slow and a little pauses on it.

They have been so very active over the years.

We'll do a chest X-ray, I'd like to get a blood

pressure of you lying down, then standing up.

I'll ask the nursing staff to do that.

That has changed significantly.

Do you guys have any questions at the moment?

It was intimated by the doctor, that I might be kept in today.

I'm not going to say anything on that regards,

because that's not my...

..speciality. No.

My speciality is "anything and everything".

That's what A&E really stands for. I'll speak to the specialists.

Thank you. No problem.

Oh, dear, what a carry on.

So they know about Pa, they knew already.

They didn't know quite how serious it is, actually.

It's been 40 minutes since Sir John was admitted to St George's

with a suspected bleed in his abdomen.

We've got an 89-year-old gentleman,

who came in with acute abdominal pain.

We have done a CT aortogram.

He's not got a triple A, so it's not that.

OK, CT for Sir John. CT doesn't show triple-A.

So, he's referred. There's a lot of gas in the bowel. OK.

So whether he's got an obstruction.

Blood cells 24, so. Yeah so, no aneurysm.

No aneurysm, as far as I can see, yeah.

So, you had the CT scan, you haven't got any aneurysm down here.

And they're going to look to see whether you might have a blockage

around your bowel, or something like that. Oh, right.

He didn't look after things like the buildings, he lived in,

he was hopeless, he didn't do any maintenance or DIY,

that wasn't him at all.

I mean, really none, I mean, I don't think he could change a plug

and my mother did it all.

So, my mother was very handy, so she was the handyman in the house.

We would have quite a lot of interesting guests.

Because my father sold wine to Oxford and Cambridge colleges,

we'd meet the "wine dons", as he called them,

the people who were interested in wine from those college

and they would come down and sit around the table -

philosophers, linguists, or something like that.

We'd have some lively discussions with them, so that's probably where

we got our education, we didn't get much education

at school I don't think, because we didn't turn up half the time!

So, if you were talking about politics or something,

he would be very interested in talking to you

and he wouldn't seem to notice the chaos around him,

it was sort of very important to have the conversations.

Looking at you now, anybody who didn't know you,

they wouldn't know what a long, interesting life you've had.

They'd just come past you and they'd think,

"Oh there's this...

"..old chap on a stretcher."

They'd have no idea about your life, would they?

One of the rituals he did have was that he would always decant very

good wine and, making sure that he poured it slowly, very, very,

slowly into his favourite decanter.

The last bit of the sediment would then be put on one side,

carefully poured into a glass, smelt and he's say,

"Good God, this is a delicious glass of wine!

"And this is just the sediment!"

He would knock it back with one gulp and say,

"Delicious, we're going to love this wine!"

Sir John's case has been referred to the surgical team.

Seen the results of your scan now

and we've discussed what's most likely going on.

It looks like that your bowel has twisted.

That's why you're so unwell.

Right. And that means you would need an operation to fix this. Right.

It is basically making a big cut in your tummy and it's very

likely we will have to take a fair bit of your bowel away.

It has its own risks, the operation,

as it's quite major surgery.

Right. But if we don't do it...

..it's likely you may die, as a result of this.

Listen, I'm afraid it's touch and go.

That's what they warned me.

Well, I'll ring you in the morning and give you an update, OK?

They're coming for you, hun. Oh, dear me!

Hi, my name's Chris.

I've got a gentleman called John, who is a 90-year-old gentleman.

Cold hard board coming behind. Oh, yeah.

He's been sent in by his GP.

He's a chap who has had some long pauses,

the longest being 6.2 seconds.

Bend forward.

At the minute, he's in Resus 4.

Superb, thank you very much. Bye-bye.

That's very clever, isn't it? Yes.

Doctors are carrying out a series of tests on 90-year-old John,

as they're concerned he has an abnormally slow heart rate.

OK? There she is, that's the one!

So, we're going to lie you down flat.

Do a blood pressure and then stand you up. Right.

How long have you been married?

It's 65 years in June.

My goodness me!

Well, I was a telephone engineer and she was a telephone operator.

I saw this shapely piece walking down the switch room,

with her hair flowing.

And I said to myself, "She is the one for me!"

And 70 years since our first date.

Oh! 28th June, 1946.

That's very romantic that he remembers your date.

Well, I got it planned that we were going to an expensive

theatre in Leicester Square.

But, from the word go, when he got on the No 11 bus to Victoria,

she said, well, she said, "There's a good film on

"and it's much cheaper."

His mother didn't like me!

I was too thin!

Things have went from there.

It became a regular treat to go to Victoria and to see a film.

She said, "She'll never be able to produce any children for you." Oh.

We've got three lovely ones.

We'd have beans on toast afterwards.

And, if I had an extra sixpence, which sometimes I did have,

we had chips as well!

She liked you towards the end, didn't she?

The first film we saw was Dark Corner.

It was shown on television many years later and I taped it.

So now, on our special celebration,

we have our beans on toast and we have the film.

At least you can say that!

Unfortunately, she's quite poorly really, now.

About a year ago the doctor said he thought she'd got the first

signs of dementia.

My wife needs me.

And I can't possibly leave her.

How do you feel about standing?

I think I'll be all right. Yeah?

Shall we do some dance moves at the same time?

Well, not a quickstep, a slow one!

Do a slow step, I think for your heart right now. Yeah.

So, let's stand up for me.

I'm beginning to feel dizzy. Are you feeling dizzy already?

If you feel too dizzy, then I'm not happy to stand you up. No.

We'll do the slow step another day.

Are you sure? I promise.

John must now wait for a cardiologist to

review his test results and find a way to regulate his heartbeat.

Your heart rate's gone up though.

Well, it's ever since you came in!

Such a flirt, isn't he?

Shush, be quiet. Oh!

It really hurt though. Oh.

So, how many fingers have you got now? Nine. Nine!

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine...

It's not lost, it's still there.

You've still got ten fingers, not nine.

Mum, mum! Sit still, Shane.

No, don't, cos you'll end up hurting your other leg.

I'll tell you when someone's coming!

Lie down!

Three-year-old Shane is waiting for doctors to assess

his foot and leg,

after falling off a trampoline at his Grandma Marion's houses.

Shane wasn't due until the beginning of January.

Don't you fall asleep!

It would have been Christmas Eve.

I got a call from Elisa, Shane's mum,

and she'd been getting pains through the day.

No!

Milly, don't put your feet up there. Lie down!

She left it until 12 o'clock at night to say that she's in agony,

"Can you come over?" She was only up the road.

All right, all right, all right.

Having a big family and everyone comes for Christmas dinner,

I was in the middle of doing the potatoes.

I didn't tell my husband, I just thought,

"Oh, my God I'd better get over there to her,

"cos this baby's not going to be waiting around."

You can move that one about.

Doo, doo, doo! No! It hurts.

So, we had to get the shower curtain...

..put it on the floor and just put her on the floor.

And I ended up delivering Shane!

So, I was like the nurse for the...

..so, I delivered him and brought him into the world!

And he's our baby Jesus!

Yeah.

Hello there. Hiya. Is this Shane?

This is Shane, yes. Hello.

I'm John, I'm one of the doctors here in A&E and this is Tom,

one of the medical students.

Can I have a look? Is that all right?

I'm going to press. You tell me if it hurts.

Is it hurting, Shane?

Oh, yes.

Can I see if you can walk on it?

No?

Let's give it a try and if you can't, we'll get you some X-rays

and give you some pain relief.

If you walk towards me.

See, he's limping a bit, OK.

It looks like he's probably sprained it,

so we'll just get an X-ray, rule out if there's any break there.

You did really well there. I'm glad.

Glad to hear it. Very impressed, John.

So, how did you get your Knighthood, John, do you mind my asking?

How did you become a Sir?

Well, I'm not a Knight, I'm a Baronet.

I see!

Earlier this evening,

Sir John was admitted with abdominal pains.

It's been diagnosed as a twisted bowel and requires surgery.

Hi, Pa, it's Jonathan. Yes.

Hi, how are you? I'm OK.

Yeah, I think what's happened, Pa, is that you've got this twisted gut.

This is the problem,

this is why you're in pain in your abdominal region.

And what the doctors are going to do, with your permission,

is to do a little operation on you, to try

and correct this blockage in your bowel.

Did you understand what I'm saying, Pa? Yes.

All right, there's a risk fact or to it,

but if we don't do the operation, you'll probably die. Right.

So, we've decided we are going to go ahead with it, OK? Right, splendid.

Splendid. That's fine, OK. Excellent.

What do you think his chances are?

If I'm being absolutely honest with you... Yeah, go on. I don't know.

This is really the option, I think if I was in your position,

I think this is completely the right decision to make. Yeah.

I think he's got a good quality pf life, I think

you should do everything you possibly can do.

He's not a miserable sod. No.

And also all the kids are enjoying him,

he's enjoying the grandchildren and stuff.

It's not like he's somebody who's on his own, lonely... Yeah.

..and wants to die.

I'm still very young, I mean, I'm 23.

I haven't experienced what a lot of patients, what a lot of families,

what a lot of colleagues have experienced, or perhaps seen.

Do you want a cup of tea or anything?

What scares me about death is about the feelings that...

..or the things all the things you leave behind

and the impact that will have on your relatives.

Don't worry, Pa, I'm here.

You all right, hun?

Things seem to be quite central, but I think I'm OK now,

thank you darling.

John was admitted to A&E with a heart problem.

A cardiologist has been called to assess his condition.

Good morning. Morning.

My name's Dr Lee.

So, some of the tests have shown that,

and particularly the heart monitor, has shown that your heart

goes very, very slowly in places.

We would recommend for you to have a pacemaker put in.

You will need regular check-ups with a pacemaker

and every few years, roughly about seven to eight years,

you may need a battery change.

Oh, I don't think I'll last that long!

You never know.

We're going to bring you in and look after you on our ward.

Right, thank you. All right? So, I won't be going home?

Maybe in a few days. All right? Thank you very much. Bye now.

Thank you.

A few days.

My wife, she's in the first stage of Alzheimer's,

which there is no cure for.

Not this Saturday, the following Saturday you are.

The snag is you know she's not going to get any better.

I'm sorry,

but that's the way it is.

You never know what Mum's going to be like from one day to the next.

When she's not so good, it's like

he's lost the woman he loves.

It's sad.

But I can't be greedy, we've both had a good life together.

Yeah, it's real, I promise!

When she has her lucid days, then it's just wonderful.

Cos it's having Mum back and Dad having his wife back.

We'll do the quickstep once your heart rate's up. All right.

But, for now, the slow step.

Yeah? Yes.

When it works out right, it's lovely, like old times.

We go out for a walk, hand in hand.

It seems marvellous.

Right? Yeah, we're ready to go.

We'll go and sit in the park and sit there in the sun

and the passers-by nod to us

and we hold hands and er...

..that's how I like to think of my life.

If I had my life over again, I'd want her as my partner.

That's for sure.

John will be transferred to a ward,

ahead of his operation to fit a pacemaker.

Sir John was admitted to St George's earlier.

The surgical team are preparing to carry out a life-saving operation

on his twisted bowel.

It's a big operation you're going to have,

so it's not something to just sort of take likely.

It's not like having a tooth extraction.

This is something quite serious, you know?

Erm...

I think you'll pull through OK, but, if you didn't, well,

you've had a long, very, very successful life, haven't you?

Yes.

Thanks very much.

Thanks very much?

No, I thank you very much!

Cos you're the one who gave me life, not the other way round.

You and Ma.

He was a big, cuddly sort of man.

I always felt, when I was a child,

putting my arms round him, Daddy, he was massive.

He really was massive.

My parents gave us an almost ideal childhood, really,

which you never really appreciate until you haven't got it any longer.

And we're not talking about material things here.

We didn't even go abroad.

We didn't dress in smart clothes.

We were the last kids to have a television and telephone and all that.

We didn't have any of those stuff,

but we did have this feeling that our parents cared about us,

which is what a kid needs, and the love,

and they gave us all of that in bucketfuls.

You'll be all right. You'll be OK.

Of course I will.

Thanks very much for all you've done for me.

That's OK.

I'm glad that I was here, just to be around with you.

The only thing, I suppose, is the truth about the future

is that we're all going to die

and we need to be ready for that,

because it's going to come to us one day

and we don't know whether that day will be this afternoon or tomorrow

or in 50 years' time.

Losing my mum when I was five,

I was exposed to death at a very young age.

I was exposed to impermanence at a young age.

So, I know the things that are around me, you know,

they're not going to last forever.

Pa, I'm staying with you until you're taken off.

Are you OK? Yeah.

You're having a little snooze - that's good. Best thing to do.

I've become a parent myself.

Struggling... I say struggling bringing up children,

like anybody else is these days, I suppose.

So, I've become a parent, and I suddenly realised that, actually,

they made the job look easy.

Fortunately, I wrote to my parents ten years ago,

telling them what wonderful parents they were,

and I've said everything I needed to say then, before my mother died,

so that was good.

I think that's something which I'm so pleased I did do.

I don't need to say anything more. There's nothing which I need to...

..which is unsaid.

I've been working in your garden. I've got lovely, dirty nails.

I've been cutting back some bushes this evening

since I was last here...

..and doing a little bit of work in the garden.

Hello? Yeah, he's had an X-ray.

I'm waiting for them to come back from the results,

but he's walking on it now.

Yeah, OK then.

All right then, bye.

Hey.

So...the X-ray has shown he has got a little bit of a...

..a break. I knew. I... I knew he had done something to it.

It's... It's very small, but we will need to put him in a cast.

OK.

Yeah, I love being a nanny - it's nice.

I want to cuddle you, Nanna.

You get a lot of cuddles.

You do get a lot of cuddles.

But Shane's special.

Are you kissing my hands?

He was named after his uncle Shane...

..my eldest son.

Now what are you doing?

He was 36.

He was on the roof and he fell.

He landed on a hard surface.

The force, when he hit the floor...

..ruptured his aorta and he bled from within.

Yeah.

I just run. I just run.

I was just running to be with him.

I did get there with him, but he just...

He kept dying and then coming back.

They kept losing his heartbeat,

then they're bringing it back, but he ended up...he died...

..there, on the scene.

Hello. Hello.

Are you falling asleep there?

At least you can see Shane around the same week

as my son passed away.

That's it, ready to go. Hmm.

And then, when she named him Shane,

it just made it that little bit more special.

Baby Shane has not actually took the place of Shane,

but it's getting better for me.

He gave me back the part that I was missing in my heart,

if you know what I mean. There's kind of a...

..a part that's missing and he put it back.

He just filled that gap...

..there, a little bit.

OK. You look after him, yeah?

You look after your brother, will you? He's hurt his leg.

That's just added more weight to me...

..that cast. Come on.

On Monday, your mum's got to come back with him.

I can't even remember where I've parked the car. I do.

And I've got to... And I've got to do the machine...

..the paying machine. Can you do that, Millie?

How dare you suggest that?

I judge that as being friendly...

..and if it comes out that way...tough!

I think, yes, he's got more romantic over the years.

Reflecting on how they met,

it brings back happy memories.

He never regained consciousness after that operation,

so, when he went to the operating table,

as far as I'm concerned, that was it.

That's the last time I spoke to my father.

To lose him...

..for it to really dawn on you,

is still a shock for a middle-aged person like me, to lose your dad.

What I would say to anybody is,

"Don't wait until it's too late to make declarations to your parents

"because you may not be able to say it, you know, later on." And...

I think that's something that I am so pleased I did do.

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