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0
00:00:03,146 --> 00:00:08,818
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1
00:02:55,145 --> 00:02:56,976
My friend just bought
one of those.
2
00:02:57,047 --> 00:02:59,572
Let me drive it.
Fantastic car.
3
00:03:00,317 --> 00:03:01,716
It's a fantastic day.
4
00:03:06,856 --> 00:03:10,656
Okay, at 3:00 this morning,
you were singing campfire songs.
5
00:03:10,727 --> 00:03:13,662
And now look at you.
What is with you, Jeana?
6
00:03:14,597 --> 00:03:17,998
Tom. I think we're gonna get
to know each other better.
7
00:03:18,068 --> 00:03:20,730
You're gonna sleep
with Tom Lindeman?!
8
00:03:20,804 --> 00:03:22,635
Yes! Yes, okay?
9
00:03:22,706 --> 00:03:24,037
Why?
10
00:03:25,108 --> 00:03:26,234
I'm in love.
11
00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:28,277
Why?!
12
00:03:28,345 --> 00:03:33,373
I don't know, because he's smart
and handsome and wonderful...
13
00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:36,283
Ach! He's on television!
So what? Everybody is!
14
00:03:37,420 --> 00:03:42,483
In two weeks, I'm gonna be
on a cruise in South America.
15
00:03:43,827 --> 00:03:46,455
We're gonna make love,
and we're gonna watch sunsets.
16
00:03:46,529 --> 00:03:50,192
And it's gonna be like we're the
only two people in the world.
17
00:03:53,103 --> 00:03:57,164
You know, if he was the last
guy on Earth, maybe I could see it.
18
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,003
No, wait, I can't.
19
00:03:59,075 --> 00:04:00,770
You used to like men.
20
00:04:00,844 --> 00:04:03,540
Yeah, I used to eat dirt when I
was a kid, too. I outgrew it.
21
00:04:03,613 --> 00:04:06,081
Okay. So you like
girls now. Great.
22
00:04:06,149 --> 00:04:10,051
But this is about me, Caroline
I started dating when I was 15 years old.
23
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,418
That's zero
in ten years.
24
00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:16,721
Yeah, I've dated some losers, and I've
had my heart broken, but I still believe in love.
25
00:04:17,994 --> 00:04:20,121
And I found, I found Tom.
26
00:04:21,698 --> 00:04:23,222
Can't you just
be happy for me?
27
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,557
Wait, let me think.
28
00:04:27,937 --> 00:04:29,302
Mmm, no.
29
00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:41,848
Tom Lindeman
tonight or any night.
30
00:04:41,918 --> 00:04:43,852
Exactly.
Thank you.
31
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,286
Listen... I need a word.
32
00:04:46,356 --> 00:04:48,551
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
33
00:04:48,625 --> 00:04:50,616
It's varied? Diverse?
34
00:04:50,693 --> 00:04:51,682
How about "rich"?
35
00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:56,328
Rich, thank you!
You're worthless!
36
00:04:59,636 --> 00:05:01,570
"Rich" cultural background.
37
00:05:01,638 --> 00:05:03,606
See that? Savin' my ass
on the first day.
38
00:05:03,673 --> 00:05:05,072
We're gonna
get along real good.
39
00:05:08,912 --> 00:05:10,345
Susan wants you plugged in.
40
00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:12,210
Nah, she just wants me.
41
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:15,251
Oops. Oops. Should I say that
on TV? Hi, Susan.
42
00:05:15,318 --> 00:05:18,515
You're shooting me from the waist up, right?
'Cause we don't wanna see the blue jeans.
43
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:20,818
Tell Lindeman to stop
yakking and get ready.
44
00:05:20,890 --> 00:05:22,721
He's there. You're fine.
45
00:05:28,998 --> 00:05:32,593
'Cause anchormen
don't wear blue jeans.
46
00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:35,303
Looking good? Blue skies?
47
00:05:35,371 --> 00:05:36,929
Clear.
48
00:05:37,006 --> 00:05:39,736
Clear. Another clear,
cloudless day in Tom's nostrils.
49
00:05:39,809 --> 00:05:41,276
How much time you need?
50
00:05:41,344 --> 00:05:43,141
I need five seconds,
is all I need.
51
00:05:43,213 --> 00:05:46,148
Alright. Here we come.
Ready, remote...
52
00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:51,313
How's that chlamydia, Susan?
Joking. Joking. Oh! Oops.
53
00:05:51,387 --> 00:05:52,786
Three, two...
54
00:05:52,856 --> 00:05:57,725
And, and, and...
Take remote!
55
00:05:57,794 --> 00:06:00,456
Hi. This is
Tom Lindeman.
56
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:03,966
If you can't get him to listen to me,
I'm just gonna take to him next time.
57
00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:07,298
And I don't care if he's pickin'
his nose and the whole world sees it.
58
00:06:07,370 --> 00:06:09,031
Ready VT-1.
59
00:06:14,878 --> 00:06:18,746
Boys. What's this golf game
doing on here again?
60
00:06:18,815 --> 00:06:20,180
Must be a virus.
61
00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:24,414
Yeah. This, uh, virus keeps getting in
there and setting up Championship Golf Challenge.
62
00:06:24,487 --> 00:06:27,012
Really? You boys
are the challenge.
63
00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:31,584
Hey! Hey! How many times do I have
to tell you this is not a cup holder?
64
00:06:31,661 --> 00:06:33,720
Ha ha ha!
Ow!
65
00:06:33,796 --> 00:06:35,024
- You... you...
- You...
66
00:06:35,732 --> 00:06:38,326
I'm gonna get that noon anchor
job. I can feel it.
67
00:06:38,401 --> 00:06:39,663
That's great!
68
00:06:40,870 --> 00:06:43,634
I can't believe
you bought a house!
69
00:06:43,706 --> 00:06:45,264
Yup!
70
00:06:45,341 --> 00:06:46,865
I feel old.
71
00:06:48,278 --> 00:06:51,338
- In you go.
- Thank you.
72
00:06:52,615 --> 00:06:54,048
You saw that?
73
00:06:54,117 --> 00:06:55,516
Yeah.
74
00:06:55,585 --> 00:06:57,314
I tape you every night.
75
00:06:58,454 --> 00:07:01,184
Mmm...
Well then, uh...
76
00:07:01,257 --> 00:07:06,194
From the future most recognizable
face in town to his most devoted fan.
77
00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:16,162
Opens my door
any time you want.
78
00:07:18,808 --> 00:07:20,708
It's beautiful.
79
00:07:41,965 --> 00:07:43,557
Uh... Tom?
80
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:45,157
Yeah?
81
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:47,294
I think I need
a little more time.
82
00:07:48,071 --> 00:07:50,505
Okay. Give me about ten
minutes to set up the bed.
83
00:07:52,475 --> 00:07:54,238
That's a joke.
A defense mechanism.
84
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:56,141
Come from rejection.
85
00:07:57,513 --> 00:07:59,310
I'm not rejecting you.
86
00:08:02,652 --> 00:08:03,983
Good.
87
00:08:07,924 --> 00:08:10,256
What... Um...
Okay!
88
00:08:13,329 --> 00:08:15,661
Jeana?
Jeana, come on!
89
00:08:15,732 --> 00:08:17,029
I was joking.
90
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:20,763
Half-joking!
I want it to be special.
91
00:08:20,837 --> 00:08:22,270
Not like this.
92
00:08:22,338 --> 00:08:23,771
Okay, okay.
93
00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,673
I know you're not comfortable
getting physical with me.
94
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:30,201
Can you tell me why?
Is it me?
95
00:08:35,985 --> 00:08:39,045
I can't believe what she
said to me. I mean...
96
00:08:39,122 --> 00:08:40,714
it's unbelievable.
97
00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:45,557
I mean, I believe it because
now it all makes sense, but... wow!
98
00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:46,788
Blue skies?
99
00:08:49,866 --> 00:08:53,700
...proposal draws the ire
of animal-lovers all over.
100
00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:56,295
Good evening, everyone.
Thanks for being with us.
101
00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:59,500
And ready, remote,
ready or not.
102
00:08:59,575 --> 00:09:01,236
She's 25 years old, okay?
103
00:09:01,311 --> 00:09:03,438
Tom! Tom?
104
00:09:03,513 --> 00:09:05,481
She seems to know all the
moves. She's right there.
105
00:09:07,083 --> 00:09:10,018
But... Ha ha ha...
Yaahh!
106
00:09:10,086 --> 00:09:11,553
Tom?
107
00:09:11,621 --> 00:09:14,556
And now we go to Tom Lindeman,
standing by live. Tom?
108
00:09:14,624 --> 00:09:16,854
And, take remote.
109
00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:20,487
Get this:
My girlfriend... okay? Me!
110
00:09:20,563 --> 00:09:21,928
My girlfriend?
111
00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:23,465
Is a virgin.
112
00:09:25,034 --> 00:09:27,628
I'll be having sex
with a complete virgin.
113
00:09:32,175 --> 00:09:36,009
I love live TV!
Oh, yeah, baby!
114
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:39,280
You're on! You're on!
115
00:09:39,349 --> 00:09:42,876
Hi, this is Tom Lindeman,
coming to you live from downtown.
116
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:45,544
Hello?
117
00:09:45,621 --> 00:09:47,452
What?
118
00:09:47,523 --> 00:09:49,923
No, but
Station 50 called.
119
00:09:51,260 --> 00:09:53,592
They wouldn't tell me.
120
00:09:53,663 --> 00:09:55,426
What did he say?
121
00:09:55,498 --> 00:09:58,490
Tell me! Guys... !
122
00:10:04,607 --> 00:10:06,700
Oh, wait. I think
I hear her coming in.
123
00:10:06,776 --> 00:10:08,573
Did you see
the news?
124
00:10:08,644 --> 00:10:10,373
Oh, yeah. Um...
125
00:10:10,446 --> 00:10:12,607
Your granny's
on the phone.
126
00:10:12,682 --> 00:10:14,912
Hi, Grandma. What?
127
00:10:14,984 --> 00:10:17,885
I'm your favorite
granddaughter now?
128
00:10:17,954 --> 00:10:21,014
When'd this happen?Hey, Grandma,
can I call you back?
129
00:10:23,593 --> 00:10:27,324
Get this:
My girlfriend... okay? Me!
130
00:10:27,397 --> 00:10:30,093
My girlfriend is a virgin.
131
00:10:33,202 --> 00:10:35,727
Kill, Jeana. Kill!
132
00:10:45,882 --> 00:10:47,213
I guess you saw it, huh?
133
00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:49,274
Everybody saw it.
You told the whole city.
134
00:10:49,352 --> 00:10:51,286
Come on, I didn't
mention your name.
135
00:10:51,354 --> 00:10:54,187
You didn't have to. Everyone I know
has been calling me.
136
00:10:56,959 --> 00:10:58,688
Would you talk to me?!
137
00:11:03,766 --> 00:11:04,790
I made a mistake.
138
00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:09,702
And I feel horrible, I do.
But you said so yourself...
139
00:11:09,772 --> 00:11:11,569
your virginity's
not a major thing.
140
00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:13,871
It's not.
It's a minor thing.
141
00:11:13,943 --> 00:11:15,968
But it's
my minor thing.
142
00:11:16,045 --> 00:11:17,444
I was just tellin'
my camera guy.
143
00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:19,140
You gotta admit,
it's a little unusual.
144
00:11:19,215 --> 00:11:21,445
What? I just
never did it with anyone,
145
00:11:21,517 --> 00:11:23,007
It's not like I didn't try.
146
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:27,454
So you're saying the effort was there,
you just lacked the aptitude?
147
00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:31,520
It just hasn't
worked out. Uh...
148
00:11:31,594 --> 00:11:37,328
I'd be with a guy and we'd be headed
that way, and... stuff would happen.
149
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,526
"Stuff"?
150
00:11:38,601 --> 00:11:39,966
Stuff.
151
00:11:40,036 --> 00:11:42,596
Like his ex-girlfriend
would come back from China.
152
00:11:42,672 --> 00:11:45,334
Or he'd have a court date,
and I'd never see him again.
153
00:11:45,408 --> 00:11:47,603
Or... I'd get
the chicken pox.
154
00:11:47,677 --> 00:11:50,145
You're supposed to get chicken
pox when you're a kid,
155
00:11:50,213 --> 00:11:52,738
but I would get them when I
tried to sleep with someone.
156
00:11:56,919 --> 00:12:00,685
Anyway, I was just hoping you'd be
a little more careful with the information.
157
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,883
I know, I know.
158
00:12:05,161 --> 00:12:07,629
What do you wanna do?
You wanna break up over this?
159
00:12:09,932 --> 00:12:11,559
No. Do you?
160
00:12:11,634 --> 00:12:12,931
No.
161
00:12:14,971 --> 00:12:18,805
So, come on, relax.
We'll order a pizza.
162
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:21,703
I'm not hungry.
163
00:12:41,964 --> 00:12:43,659
What are you doing?
164
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:50,734
I wanna make love with you.
What's wrong with that?
165
00:12:52,275 --> 00:12:53,799
Nothing.
166
00:12:53,876 --> 00:12:56,344
It can be the lead story
at 11:00
167
00:13:09,492 --> 00:13:11,687
How humiliating.
168
00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:14,059
It's okay.
I'm fine.
169
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,893
You must wanna
kill yourself.
170
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:18,229
Or someone else.
Seen this?
171
00:13:20,503 --> 00:13:24,132
"Our favorite reporter, Tom Lindeman,
told everyone... and I mean everyone...
172
00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:25,798
"that his girlfriend's a..."
173
00:13:25,875 --> 00:13:27,775
Oh, my God!
174
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:30,573
"Whoever she is, let's hope
she doesn't hold a grudge."
175
00:13:30,646 --> 00:13:31,635
Hold one.
176
00:13:31,714 --> 00:13:32,703
You have to get even.
177
00:13:32,782 --> 00:13:34,306
For women
everywhere.
178
00:13:34,383 --> 00:13:38,843
You know what really gets me, is that
technically he never really apologized.
179
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:40,388
You broke up
with him, right?
180
00:13:40,456 --> 00:13:43,391
Of course she broke up with
him. She's not stupid.
181
00:13:46,896 --> 00:13:48,363
Excuse me.
182
00:13:48,431 --> 00:13:50,797
Can you tell me where this
is at right here?
183
00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:54,102
You're lost.
You're not even close.
184
00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:56,263
Sweet.
185
00:13:56,339 --> 00:14:00,537
Well, since I'm here, can I get, uh, can
I get, uh, some French Sumatra please?
186
00:14:00,610 --> 00:14:01,736
Whole beans.
187
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:05,372
Okay.
188
00:14:05,448 --> 00:14:08,042
You don't break up with someone
when you've been brought together
189
00:14:08,117 --> 00:14:10,642
by something as powerful
as the triple-sneeze incident.
190
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:11,948
The what?
191
00:14:12,021 --> 00:14:13,750
The triple-sneeze.
How I met Tom.
192
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:15,154
You crashed into his car.
193
00:14:15,224 --> 00:14:19,854
But it was a meaningful crash. I was
driving along, and I sneezed three times,
194
00:14:19,929 --> 00:14:21,089
and then I hit him.
195
00:14:21,163 --> 00:14:22,960
Yeah. You should hit him now.
196
00:14:23,032 --> 00:14:26,559
I've never sneezed three times before in
my life. I've never been in a car accident.
197
00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:30,663
And I didn't hit the fat weather guy
from Channel 10, I hit the dreamy reporter,
198
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:33,038
the guy I was fantasizing
about all that time
199
00:14:33,109 --> 00:14:35,100
when I was trying
to get over Charlie.
200
00:14:35,177 --> 00:14:37,941
I mean, things like that
just aren't coincidence.
201
00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:41,472
You bump into a guy like that,
and it means something.
202
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:43,609
- Oh, sorry!
- I'm so sorry!
203
00:14:43,686 --> 00:14:45,449
I'll get it.
She pushed me.
204
00:14:45,521 --> 00:14:46,715
It's okay, it's okay.
205
00:14:46,789 --> 00:14:49,053
I'm... I'm really
not that clumsy.
206
00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:50,922
Oh! Ooh!
207
00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:53,223
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
208
00:14:53,295 --> 00:14:55,957
Uh... French Sumatra?
209
00:14:56,032 --> 00:14:57,192
Yeah, it was.
210
00:14:57,266 --> 00:14:59,063
That's her favorite, too.
211
00:14:59,135 --> 00:15:01,626
He's not... uh, it's not.
212
00:15:03,673 --> 00:15:04,662
My favorite.
213
00:15:11,547 --> 00:15:12,673
Good morning!
214
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:19,719
She seems so normal.
215
00:15:19,789 --> 00:15:21,484
I mean, you know her
better than I.
216
00:15:21,557 --> 00:15:23,923
How comes
you couldn't tell?
217
00:15:23,993 --> 00:15:27,656
Well, gee, I guess I missed the
big "V" stamped on her forehead.
218
00:15:28,698 --> 00:15:31,565
Whatever you're thinking,
don't say it.
219
00:15:33,636 --> 00:15:37,197
We'll take it nice and slow since you
haven't seen the software before.
220
00:15:37,273 --> 00:15:40,572
And you haven't seen
the hardware before.
221
00:15:47,183 --> 00:15:49,845
Yeah, Lawrence, that was
a real exciting newscast.
222
00:15:49,919 --> 00:15:54,322
Like watching your own autopsy.
Listen, can we just talk about work?
223
00:15:56,892 --> 00:15:58,621
Oh, forget it!
224
00:16:00,930 --> 00:16:02,397
Animals!
225
00:16:07,870 --> 00:16:10,498
Oh, my God! Six hundred
firefighters know my sex life!
226
00:16:10,573 --> 00:16:12,404
Technically,
it's an anti-sex life.
227
00:16:12,475 --> 00:16:14,272
I'm not going anywhere
with you.
228
00:16:14,343 --> 00:16:15,776
What?!
229
00:16:15,845 --> 00:16:17,312
You've made my life
a nightmare!
230
00:16:17,379 --> 00:16:18,937
You think mine's
been a joyride?
231
00:16:19,014 --> 00:16:21,847
I'm off the anchor list. I don't
even know why you're upset.
232
00:16:21,917 --> 00:16:23,441
Apparently virginity's "in."
233
00:16:23,519 --> 00:16:27,615
I don't care about what's in!
I care about my private life,
and the fact that you told
234
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:29,783
a few hundred
thousand people!!
235
00:16:29,859 --> 00:16:31,292
- So you're not going?
- No!!
236
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,486
Fine!
237
00:16:32,561 --> 00:16:33,459
Norma, I need...
238
00:16:34,697 --> 00:16:36,289
No, no.
Jeana.
239
00:16:36,365 --> 00:16:37,559
Those aren't
your tickets!
240
00:16:39,135 --> 00:16:40,625
Ha ha!
241
00:16:40,703 --> 00:16:42,295
Ha!
242
00:16:42,371 --> 00:16:44,134
I'm not going.
243
00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:46,470
Are you sure,
honey?
244
00:16:46,542 --> 00:16:48,601
Yes. When can I get
my money back?
245
00:16:48,677 --> 00:16:52,272
Uh, okay...
Uh, let's see.
246
00:16:52,882 --> 00:16:56,511
Oh, dear.
Oh, okay.
247
00:16:56,585 --> 00:16:58,780
The cruise departs
13 days from now.
248
00:16:58,854 --> 00:17:01,345
Deadline for refunds
was yesterday.
249
00:17:01,423 --> 00:17:04,551
I paid $6,000
for that ticket.
250
00:17:04,627 --> 00:17:08,324
Actually, it was 6,082.
251
00:17:08,397 --> 00:17:12,527
But you could've gotten it all back if
you would have had cancellation insurance.
252
00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:15,729
I did! We did. You got
the insurance, right?
253
00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:18,330
Well, actually,
it says here that he didn't.
254
00:17:18,407 --> 00:17:21,069
Yeah, I thought I'd save us
a few bucks. 'Cause...
255
00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:23,270
Gimme my ticket, you oaf!
256
00:17:23,345 --> 00:17:24,539
Oh, so now I'm an oaf?
257
00:17:24,613 --> 00:17:27,013
Give it! I'm the one who's
been saving for years!
258
00:17:27,082 --> 00:17:29,243
I had this all planned
before we met!
259
00:17:32,822 --> 00:17:38,852
I paid you $6,000 for
that ticket! My half! Uch!
260
00:17:40,329 --> 00:17:46,734
Actually, um,
it was $6,082.42.
261
00:17:48,671 --> 00:17:50,832
That you would have
been refunded.
262
00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:54,041
If you would have had
the insurance.
263
00:17:56,812 --> 00:17:58,712
If he wasn't an oaf.
264
00:18:01,417 --> 00:18:03,749
So you guys
broke up, then?
265
00:18:03,819 --> 00:18:05,252
No.
266
00:18:05,321 --> 00:18:06,788
Why does everyone assume that?
267
00:18:06,856 --> 00:18:08,187
It's just tradition.
268
00:18:08,257 --> 00:18:13,126
We'll work it out. We just need
to talk. Everything'll be fine.
269
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,890
Good!
270
00:18:16,098 --> 00:18:18,999
Nick, look at this.
Can you believe this?
271
00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,696
They're calling me
"a local bright spot."
272
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,169
That's great,
Zsa Zsa.
273
00:18:23,239 --> 00:18:24,729
"A personality
to watch."
274
00:18:27,142 --> 00:18:28,871
And you know
what else?
275
00:18:29,745 --> 00:18:31,474
Me and Tom
are back together.
276
00:18:33,515 --> 00:18:36,712
He's taking me on
a Brazilian cruise. It's...
277
00:18:36,785 --> 00:18:37,911
He's what?
278
00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:43,391
Oh, Jeana, hello. You did... you
didn't know? She didn't know.
279
00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:49,921
That is so like Tom. I can't believe
this. I mean... Isn't he funny?
280
00:19:09,852 --> 00:19:12,013
Oh, look. Tom's twin.
281
00:19:13,188 --> 00:19:15,315
The cruise tickets.
Let's find them.
282
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:20,226
We should break something.
Come on, it'd be good therapy.
283
00:19:22,998 --> 00:19:24,260
No.
284
00:19:27,703 --> 00:19:29,170
Does daddy like mommy?
285
00:19:29,238 --> 00:19:30,796
I think daddy
likes mommy a lot.
286
00:19:30,873 --> 00:19:34,104
Where'd mommy go?
Where's mommy going? Yes!
287
00:19:34,176 --> 00:19:35,507
Daddy, don't spank me!
288
00:19:35,577 --> 00:19:37,238
Ay!
289
00:19:42,685 --> 00:19:44,380
Aah!
290
00:19:45,521 --> 00:19:48,581
Whoa. She's hot.
291
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:56,725
Great stuff, huh?
292
00:19:56,799 --> 00:19:59,700
So I've been getting calls
all night about that thing on TV,
293
00:19:59,768 --> 00:20:02,965
Tom Lindeman telling the whole world
his girlfriend's never had sex.
294
00:20:03,038 --> 00:20:05,233
Turns out this buddy
of mine knows Lindeman,
295
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:07,673
happens to know that
this girl's name is Jeana.
296
00:20:07,743 --> 00:20:10,075
Let's see what else
we can find out.
297
00:20:10,145 --> 00:20:11,544
Lindeman.
298
00:20:11,613 --> 00:20:13,945
My name's Tim.
I'm a friend of Jimmy Debbs.
299
00:20:14,016 --> 00:20:15,005
Ha ha, sure.
300
00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:18,713
I work in TV production and Jimmy said maybe
you could get me in the door at Channel 8.
301
00:20:18,787 --> 00:20:20,186
I can help you out
with that.
302
00:20:20,255 --> 00:20:21,984
Great, thanks.
Oh, before I forget,
303
00:20:22,057 --> 00:20:25,254
Jimmy said you're dating this girl
I went to college with, uh, Jeana...
304
00:20:25,327 --> 00:20:27,056
- Yeah, Jeana Summers.
- Ah, that's it.
305
00:20:27,129 --> 00:20:28,460
Drive off
a really high cliff.
306
00:20:28,530 --> 00:20:31,021
You went to college with her?
Have I got questions for you.
307
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,089
Why would that be?
308
00:20:32,167 --> 00:20:35,159
Twenty-eight new messages.
309
00:20:35,237 --> 00:20:38,365
Hey, Jeana. We met three years
ago at the trade show. What's up?
310
00:20:39,508 --> 00:20:42,534
It's Domination Deluxe.
We provide a valuable service
311
00:20:42,611 --> 00:20:45,876
to men in Northern California,
and we're looking for a few good vir...
312
00:20:45,948 --> 00:20:49,315
Alison Farmer, host of Channel
Eight's public affairs talk show...
313
00:20:49,385 --> 00:20:51,148
...and I'm thinking,
314
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:54,087
m... maybe you haven't met the
right girl yet. Come to mama.
315
00:20:56,725 --> 00:20:58,852
All my friends look up to you,
and we're all waiting, too,
316
00:20:58,927 --> 00:21:00,588
So you're our hero. I mean,
you should go on Oprah.
317
00:21:00,662 --> 00:21:04,063
And my mom says I should copy everything you
do..the way you eat and sleep and talk.
318
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:05,122
So what are you gonna
do right now? I mean...
319
00:21:05,501 --> 00:21:07,332
Channel 8 News.
May I help you?
320
00:21:15,878 --> 00:21:17,937
He seems so nice
on television.
321
00:21:18,013 --> 00:21:19,810
It's special effects.
322
00:21:19,882 --> 00:21:23,511
Oh. I don't blame you
for not sleeping with him.
323
00:21:23,585 --> 00:21:25,576
Gee, thank you.
324
00:21:25,654 --> 00:21:27,781
Neither do the other
ladies in the office.
325
00:21:29,892 --> 00:21:32,986
Listen, this trip was supposed
to be the highlight of my life.
326
00:21:33,062 --> 00:21:36,498
It still could be, right? I mean,
I could meet a guy on the cruise.
327
00:21:37,699 --> 00:21:39,633
Can't we just switch
the reservation?
328
00:21:39,701 --> 00:21:42,397
Well, I'm sorry,
but the policy is strict
329
00:21:42,471 --> 00:21:46,532
because the cruise line can't resell
your ticket when you cancel this late.
330
00:21:46,608 --> 00:21:51,045
So basically I need a boyfriend
who'll betray me sooner.
331
00:21:51,113 --> 00:21:52,876
That would work.
332
00:21:52,948 --> 00:21:55,940
And this opportunistic person
can have my ticket?
333
00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:57,883
Yes, I'm afraid so.
334
00:21:57,953 --> 00:22:00,285
He wrote us a check
for the total amount.
335
00:22:00,355 --> 00:22:07,022
But I'd suggest legal action and
have the perfect lawyer for this.
336
00:22:07,096 --> 00:22:08,927
It's my cousin Maggie.
337
00:22:08,997 --> 00:22:11,227
She used to have a little
drug problem, you know,
338
00:22:11,300 --> 00:22:14,269
but she's, like, all clean and
sober now, she's, like, a lawyer,
339
00:22:14,336 --> 00:22:17,237
and she's doing great.
She's perfect.
340
00:22:17,306 --> 00:22:22,642
Look, you cheating S.O.B,
you talk to my client again,
341
00:22:22,711 --> 00:22:24,474
and I will rip your lungs out!
342
00:22:25,647 --> 00:22:28,980
Sorry. That one kind of
tries my patience.
343
00:22:29,051 --> 00:22:32,179
He's cheating on his wife. Kind
of like my husband cheats on me!
344
00:22:34,723 --> 00:22:36,657
You know what?
Maybe I should go.
345
00:22:36,725 --> 00:22:42,493
No, no. I'm sorry. Okay, let me get a
look at you. Hmm, you're pretty.
346
00:22:42,564 --> 00:22:44,225
You sure you're a virgin?
347
00:22:44,299 --> 00:22:48,099
Doesn't matter. Okay. I need you to
look hurt. I need you to look vulnerable.
348
00:22:48,170 --> 00:22:50,365
The jury will hate him.
349
00:22:50,439 --> 00:22:54,466
Eh, God, I was
a virgin once. Didn't take.
350
00:22:55,110 --> 00:22:57,738
You know, a lot of people
think lawyers don't have sex.
351
00:22:57,813 --> 00:23:01,180
But I went to this lawyer convention,
and let me tell you something:
352
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:06,586
This lady here...several attorneys.
At least that's what they told me.
353
00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:11,321
Enough about me.
How can I help you?
354
00:23:12,528 --> 00:23:13,893
Oh, th... that's okay.
355
00:23:13,962 --> 00:23:16,897
No, no, no. Listen to me.
You deserve me.
356
00:23:16,965 --> 00:23:19,763
We are gonna burn this guy!
Okay, let's have a little fun.
357
00:23:19,835 --> 00:23:23,293
Let's put him on the bonfire, see how
high the flame gets. Who's with me?
358
00:23:24,940 --> 00:23:26,373
She sounds perfect.
359
00:23:26,441 --> 00:23:29,638
Yeah, but I can't sue until
he takes someone else,
360
00:23:29,711 --> 00:23:33,841
so I'm getting those tickets
back. How do I do it?
361
00:23:33,916 --> 00:23:35,941
Put out a contract on him?
362
00:23:36,018 --> 00:23:37,508
Hmm. Too expensive.
363
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:38,883
I'll chip in.
364
00:23:38,954 --> 00:23:42,583
Ever notice how your advice about men
always includes death and destruction?
365
00:23:42,658 --> 00:23:45,218
Mmm. A girl can fantasize,
can't she?
366
00:23:46,929 --> 00:23:49,727
Oh, I know. Just fix it
so he doesn't wanna go.
367
00:23:56,972 --> 00:23:59,600
Hey! Wait up!
368
00:24:03,946 --> 00:24:06,346
He'd give up those tickets
for some big story!
369
00:24:06,415 --> 00:24:12,251
He needs to save his career. And so I've
devised the Phony Fire District Scandal.
370
00:24:13,088 --> 00:24:15,056
We make believe
we're doing inspections
371
00:24:15,123 --> 00:24:18,115
of the software companies so
that we can steal the software.
372
00:24:18,193 --> 00:24:20,661
You guys convince him the
evidence is on our computers.
373
00:24:20,729 --> 00:24:22,959
So that when he comes
to me for the access,
374
00:24:23,031 --> 00:24:27,798
I trade him the information he wants
for those tickets. Both of them.
375
00:24:56,064 --> 00:24:58,760
I've seen you
around the club.
376
00:24:58,834 --> 00:25:00,734
Great.
377
00:25:08,076 --> 00:25:09,270
You know, don't you?
378
00:25:09,344 --> 00:25:10,868
Word gets around.
379
00:25:10,946 --> 00:25:13,073
On what,
the Virgin Alert Network?
380
00:25:13,148 --> 00:25:15,480
How do you guys
find this stuff out?
381
00:25:15,550 --> 00:25:17,814
Hey!
That's personal, okay?
382
00:25:17,886 --> 00:25:20,116
Oh, personal?
383
00:25:37,939 --> 00:25:41,841
Well, Glen, for your company's
needs, I'd go with these guys.
384
00:25:45,514 --> 00:25:47,914
This is fascinating,
and I think we should, uh,
385
00:25:47,983 --> 00:25:52,215
discuss this in more
"depth" at my house.
386
00:25:53,322 --> 00:25:54,516
Excuse me?
387
00:25:54,589 --> 00:25:57,217
Let me explain
something to you, Jeana.
388
00:25:58,293 --> 00:26:02,525
You haven't slept with anyone yet
'cause you haven't met the right guy.
389
00:26:04,733 --> 00:26:06,701
I still haven't.
390
00:26:06,768 --> 00:26:09,430
You gonna stab me
with that fork?
391
00:26:09,504 --> 00:26:12,871
God, I'll bet you're a real tiger
when somebody turns you on.
392
00:26:21,083 --> 00:26:22,448
Check, please.
393
00:26:36,264 --> 00:26:38,255
No, bad girl! Come on!
394
00:26:40,902 --> 00:26:44,838
Hey! A little help,
please?
395
00:26:48,076 --> 00:26:50,044
I don't wanna
get hit by a train.
396
00:26:50,112 --> 00:26:52,637
Have a seat.
Grab the wheel.
397
00:26:59,454 --> 00:27:00,546
That's good.
398
00:27:00,622 --> 00:27:02,715
Just pull on that emergency
brake in the middle there.
399
00:27:02,791 --> 00:27:03,780
Got it!
400
00:27:03,859 --> 00:27:04,848
Thank you.
401
00:27:04,926 --> 00:27:06,120
So what's wrong with it?
402
00:27:06,194 --> 00:27:08,560
It's outta gas.
The gauge is busted.
403
00:27:08,630 --> 00:27:10,097
Why don't you
get it fixed?
404
00:27:10,165 --> 00:27:13,100
Well, 'cause I like her
the way she is.
405
00:27:15,337 --> 00:27:16,964
Well, I'll see ya.
406
00:27:17,038 --> 00:27:18,835
Well, hang on. Uh.
407
00:27:19,508 --> 00:27:22,204
The only way I know
how to thank you is...
408
00:27:22,277 --> 00:27:24,472
Know where I can get
a couple spoons?
409
00:27:29,084 --> 00:27:30,949
I gotta go.
410
00:27:31,019 --> 00:27:33,010
Can't let this melt.
411
00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:37,721
Look, no offense,
but you're a guy,
412
00:27:37,793 --> 00:27:40,227
and it starts with ice cream
and deep conversations
413
00:27:40,295 --> 00:27:43,731
and "Oooh, I'm so sensitive," but
eventually, the true male comes out,
414
00:27:43,799 --> 00:27:47,599
and you'll start taking money out of
my wallet and hitting on my best friend.
415
00:27:47,669 --> 00:27:51,298
Or it comes out right now, and I have
to punch him in the nose right here.
416
00:27:51,373 --> 00:27:55,036
Well, with an attitude large enough to
crush a small country having arrived,
417
00:27:55,110 --> 00:27:56,509
I think it's safe
to call it a day.
418
00:27:56,578 --> 00:27:59,274
Yeah, well, the gas station's
12 blocks that way.
419
00:27:59,347 --> 00:28:00,473
Perfect.
420
00:28:08,523 --> 00:28:13,859
"Professor Stewart Schell says
post-initial copulative regret syndrome...
421
00:28:14,396 --> 00:28:17,422
"or losing it and then wanting it
back...is becoming more common."
422
00:28:17,499 --> 00:28:21,026
Well, listen to this: "One result
of this week's public discussion
423
00:28:21,102 --> 00:28:25,505
"has been the formation of VAGUE,
or Virgins Against Guys Under-Evolved.
424
00:28:25,574 --> 00:28:28,771
"VAGUE was organized by local women
who discovered a common bond
425
00:28:28,844 --> 00:28:33,008
"in their anger over Lindeman's
blunder." You got company, girl.
426
00:28:43,792 --> 00:28:45,623
Hi. You don't know me,
427
00:28:45,694 --> 00:28:48,322
but, the thing is, I live upstairs
and can I borrow your window?
428
00:28:48,396 --> 00:28:49,886
Sure!
429
00:28:56,204 --> 00:28:57,694
Careful, darling.
430
00:28:59,274 --> 00:29:01,708
Next time,
I'll bake cookies.
431
00:29:01,776 --> 00:29:05,473
I joined that group...
Virgins Against Guys, whatever...
432
00:29:05,547 --> 00:29:06,536
What for?
433
00:29:06,615 --> 00:29:09,641
Not because I'm pure or anything.
I just wanted to support your cause.
434
00:29:09,718 --> 00:29:12,380
It's not a cause. I'm not making
a political statement.
435
00:29:12,454 --> 00:29:13,546
Boy, are you edgy.
436
00:29:13,622 --> 00:29:14,884
I... I just wanna find a guy
437
00:29:14,956 --> 00:29:17,891
who wants to wake up with me as
much as they wanna sleep with me.
438
00:29:17,959 --> 00:29:19,085
Yo might try Finland.
439
00:29:20,462 --> 00:29:21,486
Seriously.
440
00:29:24,666 --> 00:29:25,894
Improvements?
441
00:29:25,967 --> 00:29:27,525
You wanna
get this guy, right?
442
00:29:27,602 --> 00:29:29,729
No! I want those tickets,
and I want out of here.
443
00:29:29,804 --> 00:29:30,828
We're just goosing it up.
444
00:29:33,308 --> 00:29:36,937
Wait a minute. I'm the woman.
I'm the schemer.
445
00:29:37,012 --> 00:29:39,105
The thing is,
you're not that good at it.
446
00:29:39,180 --> 00:29:40,204
I'm not?
447
00:29:40,282 --> 00:29:42,978
It wasn't a bad first effort,
it's just that we have more experience
448
00:29:43,051 --> 00:29:44,484
with this sort of thing.
449
00:29:44,553 --> 00:29:45,884
So, just what
have you done?
450
00:29:45,954 --> 00:29:47,922
You're better off
just knowing the first level.
451
00:29:47,989 --> 00:29:49,718
Oh, there are levels now?
452
00:29:49,791 --> 00:29:51,691
Relax. It's under control.
453
00:29:52,561 --> 00:29:55,894
Don't forget the nude pictures
the guy from Utah sent you.
454
00:29:58,500 --> 00:30:00,968
Alison Farmer again,
Channel 8.
455
00:30:01,036 --> 00:30:04,062
You gotta come on my show and
tell everyone where to get off.
456
00:30:04,139 --> 00:30:07,597
Oh, My God. I am looking out the
window, and there's a tornado coming.
457
00:30:07,676 --> 00:30:09,268
And an earthquake.
Gotta go.
458
00:30:12,013 --> 00:30:13,002
Hello.
459
00:30:13,081 --> 00:30:14,548
Hi, it's Tom.
460
00:30:14,616 --> 00:30:17,380
How could you give that photo
to the newspaper?
461
00:30:17,452 --> 00:30:19,079
I didn't.
462
00:30:19,154 --> 00:30:21,349
It's the one
on your desk.
463
00:30:21,423 --> 00:30:24,551
Really?Huh, you're right,
it's gone.
464
00:30:24,626 --> 00:30:27,925
Thanks for noticing. By the way,
great performance on the radio.
465
00:30:27,996 --> 00:30:31,227
Okay. That was a trick,
and I'm gonna kill Jimmy Debbs.
466
00:30:31,299 --> 00:30:34,393
Oh. You wanna know what my
favorite part was?Really?
467
00:30:34,469 --> 00:30:37,370
It was Zsa Zsa telling me that
you guys were back together.
468
00:30:37,439 --> 00:30:42,172
How could you do that after all
we had? After the way we met?
469
00:30:42,243 --> 00:30:45,041
What are you talkin' about?
You crashed into my car.
470
00:30:46,247 --> 00:30:47,737
What do you want?
471
00:30:49,084 --> 00:30:51,075
I'm comin' over tonight
to get my stuff.
472
00:30:51,152 --> 00:30:53,245
Thanks for the warning.
473
00:31:06,401 --> 00:31:07,459
Lindeman.
474
00:31:07,535 --> 00:31:09,867
Give me my ticket back!
475
00:31:09,938 --> 00:31:11,462
You cancelled.
476
00:31:11,539 --> 00:31:13,734
And if "no refund" is good
enough for the cruise line, then...
477
00:31:13,808 --> 00:31:15,969
Twice she hangs up on me.
478
00:31:16,044 --> 00:31:18,638
You should give her
her money back, man.
479
00:31:18,713 --> 00:31:22,240
You're missing the clues. Clearly,
she still wants to go with me.
480
00:31:25,987 --> 00:31:27,579
I hate him.
481
00:31:34,229 --> 00:31:37,824
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
482
00:31:37,899 --> 00:31:41,665
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
483
00:31:41,736 --> 00:31:44,500
We don't want that shit no more!
One, two, three, four!
484
00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:46,631
Face it, man. You're just
another women's issue.
485
00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:49,006
Right up there with menopause
and maternity leave.
486
00:32:03,925 --> 00:32:05,290
How's this story
affected your life?
487
00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,123
What is your stance
on sex education?
488
00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:09,789
I am never
talking to you people!
489
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,041
Hi, Jeana. Wendy Sagen,
President of VAGUE,
490
00:32:22,110 --> 00:32:25,238
Virgins Against Guys Under-Evolved.
Isn't it great?
491
00:32:25,313 --> 00:32:28,510
You on the cover,
our group picture inside.
492
00:32:28,583 --> 00:32:32,383
We have to work together to end
male domination of social and political...
493
00:32:32,454 --> 00:32:35,252
Listen, I've had a rough day.
494
00:32:35,323 --> 00:32:38,554
Jeana, let us hear your story. We
really need you to speak at our rally.
495
00:32:38,626 --> 00:32:41,959
You know what?
Wait here.
496
00:32:44,132 --> 00:32:45,724
They're all monsters,
you know!
497
00:32:45,800 --> 00:32:49,566
Most men are criminals!
I know! I have brothers!
498
00:32:53,308 --> 00:32:55,469
It's like I'm some kind
of freak or something.
499
00:32:55,543 --> 00:32:59,240
What's wrong with people?Don't
they get enough on Jerry Springer?
500
00:33:04,285 --> 00:33:06,150
Tom has made
his choice, hasn't he?
501
00:33:06,221 --> 00:33:10,123
So why don't we both
just be big people. Okay?
502
00:33:10,191 --> 00:33:13,820
Gee, thanks for the advice.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
503
00:33:15,363 --> 00:33:16,728
Bye, Nick.
504
00:33:18,900 --> 00:33:20,629
Bye, Jeana.
505
00:33:21,402 --> 00:33:23,996
Does this have dairy in it?
506
00:33:28,143 --> 00:33:31,169
It's okay. I'm with
the fire department.
507
00:33:35,116 --> 00:33:37,448
'Course she wants me back.
That's why we're here,
508
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:40,010
so she can deny it to my face.
Women love these games.
509
00:33:40,088 --> 00:33:41,316
If you say so.
510
00:33:42,657 --> 00:33:45,023
"A map to your stuff."
What the hell is this?
511
00:33:45,093 --> 00:33:46,754
It's a map to your stuff,
man.
512
00:33:50,298 --> 00:33:51,788
Oh, come on!
513
00:33:51,866 --> 00:33:53,356
That was
my favorite racquet!
514
00:33:53,434 --> 00:33:54,901
She is playing hard-to-get.
515
00:33:54,969 --> 00:33:56,800
I bet I know where she is.
516
00:34:07,048 --> 00:34:09,414
Come on, Jeana.
Break those balls.
517
00:34:09,484 --> 00:34:12,476
This is great.
A little sanity.
518
00:34:12,554 --> 00:34:15,455
Fleeting, though,
it may be.
519
00:34:17,325 --> 00:34:18,952
Come on,
let's get outta here.
520
00:34:19,027 --> 00:34:20,153
Listen...
521
00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:22,287
- Watch it, Igor.
- Genghis.
522
00:34:22,363 --> 00:34:24,024
Nice bonfire.
I'd say we're even.
523
00:34:24,098 --> 00:34:25,998
Yeah? We say you
owe her a cruise ticket.
524
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:27,500
Why don't you let these two
work it out?
525
00:34:27,569 --> 00:34:28,661
Who the hell are you?
526
00:34:28,736 --> 00:34:30,294
I'm friends with Tom.
And Jeana.
527
00:34:30,371 --> 00:34:33,169
Wrong. You can't be on both
sides. It's us or them
528
00:34:33,241 --> 00:34:34,572
And "us" is leaving.
529
00:34:34,642 --> 00:34:35,631
I just have
to talk to you...
530
00:34:35,710 --> 00:34:38,008
Let go of her, you animal!
Hey, everybody!
531
00:34:38,079 --> 00:34:43,176
Everybody, it's the reporter who violated
his girlfriend's privacy on television!
532
00:34:43,718 --> 00:34:45,652
Unbelievable!
I pity your girlfriend.
533
00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:48,746
Yeah. How could
you do that, huh?
534
00:34:48,823 --> 00:34:50,017
The guy made a mistake.
535
00:34:50,091 --> 00:34:52,821
You broads expect us to be perfect
all the time. I'm sick of it.
536
00:34:52,894 --> 00:34:55,385
"Broads"? You don't know
what we're talking about, mister!
537
00:34:55,463 --> 00:34:57,522
- Hey, don't point at me.
- Don't call me a broad.
538
00:34:57,599 --> 00:34:59,260
- Toots?
- Aargh!
539
00:35:15,416 --> 00:35:18,544
Will you unpack already!
My goodness.
540
00:35:20,722 --> 00:35:22,212
Well, hello.
541
00:35:24,192 --> 00:35:26,456
This is perfect.
542
00:35:26,527 --> 00:35:28,859
The cruise ship...
543
00:35:28,930 --> 00:35:30,864
the beaches...
544
00:35:30,932 --> 00:35:33,093
the sun...
545
00:35:33,167 --> 00:35:35,431
and me.
546
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:42,406
A fight broke out today at a
public rally at the State Capitol.
547
00:35:42,477 --> 00:35:45,378
Members of a group supporting
women who are virgins
548
00:35:45,446 --> 00:35:49,849
clashed with a construction worker
who allegedly whistled at a woman.
549
00:35:49,918 --> 00:35:52,910
Tensions have been high between
local men and women since...
550
00:35:52,987 --> 00:35:54,614
Isn't that
your grandmother?
551
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:57,920
It is. The whole city's
off its rocker.
552
00:35:57,992 --> 00:36:01,120
Wait. How can your grandmother
be a virgin?
553
00:36:01,195 --> 00:36:03,459
It goes beyond
the issue of sex
554
00:36:03,531 --> 00:36:05,123
and one woman's privacy
555
00:36:05,199 --> 00:36:08,930
We're sick of the construction
workers, the mechanics, the car salesmen,
556
00:36:09,003 --> 00:36:12,131
all the males that are insensitive
to half the population.
557
00:36:12,206 --> 00:36:16,472
The trouble with men in this country
is that they're in this country.
558
00:36:16,544 --> 00:36:18,876
Can't we ship them
all to France?
559
00:36:18,947 --> 00:36:21,279
It's not that complicated
at all, man.
560
00:36:21,349 --> 00:36:24,182
If a girl doesn't wanna
sleep with me, that's cool.
561
00:36:24,252 --> 00:36:27,449
A train runs through
this station every 45 minutes.
562
00:36:27,522 --> 00:36:29,319
And in other news,
563
00:36:29,390 --> 00:36:32,917
several nuclear warheads are missing
from a launching site near Moscow.
564
00:36:43,571 --> 00:36:45,095
Don't worry. I'm leavin'.
565
00:36:46,874 --> 00:36:48,808
You're a photographer?
566
00:36:48,876 --> 00:36:52,004
Yep. That way, when they arrest
me for stealing your purse,
567
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,945
I can take my own
mug shots.
568
00:36:54,015 --> 00:36:55,744
Listen, I'm really so...
569
00:36:55,817 --> 00:36:58,479
Look, I got a gig out at,
um, El Dorado Hills.
570
00:36:58,553 --> 00:37:00,180
Wherever that's at.
So...
571
00:37:06,427 --> 00:37:08,418
- Hey!
- Hey!
572
00:37:08,496 --> 00:37:10,726
There were six reporters
here looking for you,
573
00:37:10,798 --> 00:37:12,527
so I just gave 'em
your home address.
574
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,364
Just kidding. Actually,
I gave 'em a fake address.
575
00:37:15,436 --> 00:37:18,269
So they'll probably be back
any minute to kill me.
576
00:37:18,339 --> 00:37:20,239
Hmm. Coffee?
577
00:37:27,081 --> 00:37:29,777
Listen, I'm sorry about the
other day. That wasn't really me.
578
00:37:29,851 --> 00:37:31,011
Uh-huh.
579
00:37:31,085 --> 00:37:33,986
You're never clumsy and you're
always in a good mood, huh?
580
00:37:34,055 --> 00:37:35,522
It's a powerful drug,
denial.
581
00:37:35,590 --> 00:37:38,991
I am in a good mood. I've just had
a lot of creeps in my face lately.
582
00:37:39,060 --> 00:37:42,655
And so you assume that every guy is
one, huh?It's funny how women do that.
583
00:37:49,837 --> 00:37:52,203
It's because men
are such men.
584
00:37:52,273 --> 00:37:54,833
You know, they're at least 60%
of the relationship problems.
585
00:37:54,909 --> 00:37:57,810
Sixty percent, huh?
I didn't know that.
586
00:37:57,879 --> 00:37:59,676
Maybe 70.
587
00:37:59,747 --> 00:38:02,739
Think this thing'll
make it to El Dorado Hills?
588
00:38:02,817 --> 00:38:03,841
I don't know.
589
00:38:03,918 --> 00:38:06,512
I'm new here, and I don't even
know where El Dorado Hills is.
590
00:38:07,555 --> 00:38:08,852
Let's take my car.
591
00:38:16,397 --> 00:38:21,130
It's just that every guy that looks
at me lately wants... a date.
592
00:38:21,202 --> 00:38:23,170
I wasn't asking
for a date the other day.
593
00:38:23,237 --> 00:38:26,070
As a matter of fact, I haven't
been on a date in three years.
594
00:38:26,140 --> 00:38:27,129
You're kidding.
595
00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:28,835
Nope. It's not worth
the trouble.
596
00:38:28,910 --> 00:38:30,468
I always run
to the next guy.
597
00:38:30,545 --> 00:38:32,604
Yep. You end up
regretting it, too, huh?
598
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,275
I can tell by the reaction from the innocent
little frozen dessert the other day
599
00:38:36,350 --> 00:38:39,183
that you've been through the ringer,
what... three times?
600
00:38:39,253 --> 00:38:40,515
Pretty close.
601
00:38:42,290 --> 00:38:44,019
Actually, you nailed it.
602
00:38:44,092 --> 00:38:46,856
I take it you've been
burned by a woman or two.
603
00:38:46,928 --> 00:38:49,658
Try six.
So don't put it all on men.
604
00:38:49,730 --> 00:38:52,665
Six? You're
a slow learner.
605
00:38:53,835 --> 00:38:58,431
Anyway she broke it off
four hours before the wedding.
606
00:38:58,506 --> 00:38:59,700
- No!
- Yeah.
607
00:38:59,774 --> 00:39:02,971
She always did like doing things at
the last minute, God bless her.
608
00:39:03,044 --> 00:39:04,841
Oh, my God.
So what'd you say to that?
609
00:39:04,912 --> 00:39:07,244
Well, I would call
the bakery where she worked,
610
00:39:07,315 --> 00:39:10,045
and I would disguise my voice,
and I would order pastries.
611
00:39:10,118 --> 00:39:12,780
"Can I get five pastries?
I need them now."
612
00:39:13,921 --> 00:39:17,015
She gained 12 pounds eatin' the leftovers
'fore she figured out it was me.
613
00:39:17,091 --> 00:39:20,288
Oh, no!
Oh, terrific!
614
00:39:21,562 --> 00:39:22,586
Hold it.
615
00:39:27,602 --> 00:39:29,126
Okay.
616
00:39:30,271 --> 00:39:32,262
Perfect. Perfect.
There you go.
617
00:39:32,340 --> 00:39:34,308
Beautiful.
618
00:39:48,356 --> 00:39:50,017
Okay.
619
00:40:08,276 --> 00:40:10,710
I never knew my feet
looked like this.
620
00:40:10,778 --> 00:40:14,305
Yeah, well, it's amazing what you
can see when you really look, huh?
621
00:40:15,550 --> 00:40:18,041
Yeah. It is.
622
00:40:19,287 --> 00:40:23,348
So, I saw you dancing with that
friend of the bride up there.
623
00:40:23,424 --> 00:40:25,289
Did you get
her number?
624
00:40:25,359 --> 00:40:27,259
Didn't get her name.
625
00:40:27,328 --> 00:40:28,317
She liked you.
626
00:40:28,396 --> 00:40:29,829
I know.
627
00:40:30,765 --> 00:40:32,198
Fascinating.
628
00:40:32,967 --> 00:40:35,128
You really gave up
on us, didn't you?
629
00:40:37,505 --> 00:40:39,200
That's right.
630
00:40:40,474 --> 00:40:42,533
This last guy,
we had these moments
631
00:40:42,610 --> 00:40:45,170
where it seemed like
everything was possible.
632
00:40:45,246 --> 00:40:48,943
It seems to me that men and
women only really get together
633
00:40:49,016 --> 00:40:51,382
by some great
cosmic accident.
634
00:40:51,452 --> 00:40:53,283
Yeah. A fluke, huh?
635
00:40:53,354 --> 00:40:57,188
My parents are divorced.
My roommate.
636
00:40:57,258 --> 00:41:00,887
I don't know anyone who has
what they want romance-wise.
637
00:41:02,563 --> 00:41:07,865
Well, this is great, huh?Sharing
each other's painful experiences?
638
00:41:07,935 --> 00:41:09,869
I'll tell you what. I'm having
a root canal next week.
639
00:41:09,937 --> 00:41:12,167
I'll give you a call
and tell you the details.
640
00:41:16,110 --> 00:41:17,407
Cheers.
641
00:41:19,213 --> 00:41:21,010
Animal crackers,
fireflies...
642
00:41:21,082 --> 00:41:22,071
Kick the can.
643
00:41:22,149 --> 00:41:24,049
Right! Right! Me, too!
644
00:41:24,118 --> 00:41:27,679
So, um, when do I get to
see my wedding photos?
645
00:41:27,755 --> 00:41:28,847
Your what?
646
00:41:28,923 --> 00:41:30,686
The photos I took.
647
00:41:30,758 --> 00:41:33,454
Oh! The photos you,
uh, yeah, yeah.
648
00:41:33,527 --> 00:41:38,658
I'll tell you what. Here is my
business card. You just call.
649
00:41:41,135 --> 00:41:42,932
May I?
650
00:41:43,004 --> 00:41:44,130
Yeah.
651
00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:48,474
Oh, wait.
652
00:41:48,542 --> 00:41:51,978
My roommate's been getting these
weird calls, so we changed our number.
653
00:42:05,126 --> 00:42:07,117
Uh, lemme...
654
00:42:07,194 --> 00:42:09,185
I'll get the door.
Sorry.
655
00:42:15,002 --> 00:42:19,769
Okay. Mary Beth. Great red hair.
Great smile.
656
00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:23,298
Broke your heart in so many pieces
you had to pick it up with a dustpan!
657
00:42:23,377 --> 00:42:24,401
Remember that?
658
00:42:24,478 --> 00:42:27,003
Why can't I remember that?
659
00:42:33,621 --> 00:42:37,352
So you bumped into him just as you were
saying how meaningful that could be.
660
00:42:37,425 --> 00:42:41,384
And he reads a lot,
and thinks, and smells good.
661
00:42:41,462 --> 00:42:46,126
And he's got a sexy voice.
So what? He's the enemy, right?
662
00:42:49,170 --> 00:42:52,037
Well, we've been
workin' together.
663
00:42:52,106 --> 00:42:56,338
We need to know each other.
So let's bond.
664
00:42:56,410 --> 00:42:57,775
Enjoy, fellas.
665
00:42:57,845 --> 00:42:59,335
- Thank you.
- Thanks a lot.
666
00:42:59,413 --> 00:43:01,745
Hi, guys. Welcome
to Firehouse.
667
00:43:01,816 --> 00:43:05,149
My name is Julie, and I'll be
your waitress. You're Tom Lindeman.
668
00:43:05,219 --> 00:43:06,584
Yes, I am.
669
00:43:06,654 --> 00:43:09,282
Don't talk to me. Your waiter
will be right with you.
670
00:43:11,225 --> 00:43:13,386
Did you see that?A week ago,
women loved me.
671
00:43:14,628 --> 00:43:16,994
Well, I guess people
can wise up in a week, huh?
672
00:43:23,938 --> 00:43:27,066
I don't think it's in me to be
this bitter, male-bashing person
673
00:43:27,141 --> 00:43:29,575
like that lawyer.
Or you.
674
00:43:29,643 --> 00:43:31,736
I like men.
Not the ones I've met.
675
00:43:32,646 --> 00:43:34,637
You'll be much happier
once you accept
676
00:43:34,715 --> 00:43:38,082
that all the romantic notions you've
had your entire life are crap.
677
00:43:38,152 --> 00:43:40,916
And the gender you were counting
on to create your bliss
678
00:43:40,988 --> 00:43:43,388
is really just hot to get
you in bed and move on.
679
00:43:43,457 --> 00:43:47,450
Your divorce is the most depressing
thing that's ever happened to me.
680
00:43:48,896 --> 00:43:52,730
At first, it was
like this... feud?
681
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,360
Yeah, a feud,
'cause I had to win.
682
00:43:55,436 --> 00:43:59,304
I had to win. I had to get her to go
on the cruise with me to save face.
683
00:43:59,373 --> 00:44:03,241
But now, I don't know, I mean,
now it's just kinda like...
684
00:44:05,079 --> 00:44:06,512
You're in love with her.
685
00:44:06,580 --> 00:44:07,911
Love? You think?
686
00:44:07,982 --> 00:44:11,349
Yeah. I can hear, I can hear it in
your voice, the way you talk about her.
687
00:44:12,286 --> 00:44:13,844
You're right.
688
00:44:13,921 --> 00:44:16,321
I'm in love with her.
689
00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:18,790
'Cause she fries my stuff,
and I should be angry,
690
00:44:18,859 --> 00:44:21,259
but I get, I don't know,
excited and everything,
691
00:44:21,328 --> 00:44:23,091
and I guess I'm thinking
about her.
692
00:44:23,164 --> 00:44:25,598
You gotta tell her. Hm?
693
00:44:26,267 --> 00:44:30,294
Maybe after she cools off.
I'll give her, say, ten years.
694
00:44:30,371 --> 00:44:33,465
Then there was Kathy,
right? Oh, my...
695
00:44:33,541 --> 00:44:35,702
See, this is what
I'm talking about, right?
696
00:44:35,776 --> 00:44:39,678
This woman comes into my life, and I've
forgotten what all the other ones did to me.
697
00:44:39,747 --> 00:44:41,681
So this girl you met,
she a babe or what?
698
00:44:41,749 --> 00:44:46,083
You don't divide 'em into
babes a... a... and non-babes.
699
00:44:46,153 --> 00:44:47,848
Yeah? What, then?
700
00:44:47,922 --> 00:44:52,291
I don't know. I mean... There's "her",
and then there's everybody else.
701
00:44:52,359 --> 00:44:53,986
"Her"?
702
00:44:55,162 --> 00:44:56,527
Yeah...
703
00:44:56,597 --> 00:45:00,533
Yeah, but she said she's done with men.
I think that she's hung up on this guy.
704
00:45:00,601 --> 00:45:03,035
Well, take your shot.
He's probably some loser.
705
00:45:05,573 --> 00:45:07,063
Why the long face?
706
00:45:11,645 --> 00:45:15,843
Hey there. It's, uh, Paul,
and, uh, this is my voice.
707
00:45:15,916 --> 00:45:19,545
Listen, this gallery in,
in Midtown is showing my photos,
708
00:45:19,620 --> 00:45:24,080
and the opening's Friday night,
and maybe if you're not doing anything,
709
00:45:24,158 --> 00:45:27,457
you know, or, or, you know, maybe
if you wanna bring your roommate,
710
00:45:27,528 --> 00:45:29,928
and I swear,
I'm not hittin' on her...
711
00:45:29,997 --> 00:45:33,592
It's just, just that I don't know
anyone here and it'd be, uh, it'd be nice
712
00:45:33,667 --> 00:45:35,362
to have some
people come, so...
713
00:45:35,436 --> 00:45:39,497
Now, let me stress, this is a, uh,
this is a non-date type of activity.
714
00:45:39,573 --> 00:45:43,065
No dates for anyone.
715
00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:46,044
Farnham Gallery at, uh,
8:00 P. M. , so there you go.
716
00:45:46,113 --> 00:45:50,140
Um, talk to you later,
if you want. Bye.
717
00:45:54,855 --> 00:45:56,117
What am I doing?
718
00:46:00,861 --> 00:46:03,955
Well, it would be wrong
not to support the arts.
719
00:46:10,304 --> 00:46:12,499
The woman is diabolical.
720
00:46:17,077 --> 00:46:19,773
This is why you don't trust
women, 'cause they're crazy.
721
00:46:19,847 --> 00:46:21,712
'Cause they hide things
and they're secret.
722
00:46:21,782 --> 00:46:22,976
What?
723
00:46:23,050 --> 00:46:24,347
Nothing.
724
00:46:24,418 --> 00:46:26,818
Don't worry. Those tickets
are in a very safe place.
725
00:46:26,887 --> 00:46:28,616
I don't know what
you're talking about.
726
00:46:28,689 --> 00:46:29,883
I got a tip on this story.
727
00:46:29,957 --> 00:46:33,324
Firefighter says there's something
fishy going on in the Fire District.
728
00:46:33,394 --> 00:46:35,191
Gonna ride along
with them later today.
729
00:46:35,262 --> 00:46:37,059
That's very interesting.
Let's go.
730
00:46:37,131 --> 00:46:38,462
Okay.
731
00:46:40,734 --> 00:46:43,897
My boss won't talk to me.
Women despise me.
732
00:46:43,971 --> 00:46:45,836
I don't know
what's going on any more.
733
00:46:45,906 --> 00:46:47,840
I need this story.
I need my pride back.
734
00:46:47,908 --> 00:46:51,503
This'll do it. Our guys do an
inspection of the software company.
735
00:46:51,579 --> 00:46:55,037
They're in the computer room, they
get the building manager flustered,
736
00:46:55,115 --> 00:46:57,982
he doesn't realize four guys
go in and only three come out.
737
00:46:58,052 --> 00:47:01,146
So one guy stays back
and then what?
738
00:47:01,221 --> 00:47:03,280
He dials out on the modem.
It's so simple.
739
00:47:03,357 --> 00:47:06,622
These places have all the security
to keep people from getting in,
740
00:47:06,694 --> 00:47:09,458
but there's nothing to prevent
someone from getting out.
741
00:47:09,530 --> 00:47:10,861
So he dials out to... ?
742
00:47:10,931 --> 00:47:13,331
The mastermind.
743
00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,927
No one sees this guy. He just
pays our guys to do the job.
744
00:47:17,004 --> 00:47:20,201
Once the connection's made,
he dials out on the modem,
745
00:47:20,274 --> 00:47:22,401
hacking into
the computer system.
746
00:47:22,476 --> 00:47:24,341
Okay.
I gotta see this.
747
00:47:24,411 --> 00:47:27,175
No. They see you,
I'm... I'm dead.
748
00:47:27,247 --> 00:47:28,839
They won't.
749
00:47:51,839 --> 00:47:55,002
And three come out.
Very smooth.
750
00:47:59,947 --> 00:48:01,175
Whoa!
751
00:48:06,186 --> 00:48:08,154
Jeana, look at this.
752
00:48:09,590 --> 00:48:12,081
I just had sex
on my lunch hour.
753
00:48:12,159 --> 00:48:14,753
This waiter at Dominick's,
out by the dumpster.
754
00:48:14,828 --> 00:48:16,523
It was so hot.
755
00:48:16,597 --> 00:48:21,034
So I'm not one of you guys any
more. I'm outta the club, okay?
756
00:48:21,869 --> 00:48:25,737
Yeah. Funny you should say that.
Check out the celebrities page.
757
00:48:27,241 --> 00:48:30,768
"Yeah, I had sex with Jeana Summers.
We were both pretty wasted"?!
758
00:48:30,844 --> 00:48:32,175
Who the hell's this?
759
00:48:32,246 --> 00:48:35,215
The drummer from Deadly Barter. Jeana,
this doesn't look good for us.
760
00:48:37,151 --> 00:48:39,881
Get me Alison Farmer.
I'll do her show.
761
00:48:40,621 --> 00:48:42,885
So, basically
you're a romantic?
762
00:48:42,956 --> 00:48:46,289
Was. Now, I'm in recovery.
763
00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,294
Hm! But you're not
mad at men?
764
00:48:48,362 --> 00:48:52,799
No. I'm mad at God for making
me attracted to men.
765
00:48:53,967 --> 00:48:57,767
It's just that everyone looks at you
differently when they discover you're a virgin.
766
00:48:57,838 --> 00:49:00,773
And they have all these weird
opinions about what that means.
767
00:49:00,841 --> 00:49:03,537
When I was in high school,
my virginity was admirable.
768
00:49:03,610 --> 00:49:05,407
When I was in college,
it was "cute".
769
00:49:05,479 --> 00:49:08,243
Now that I'm older, people just
find it incredibly strange.
770
00:49:08,315 --> 00:49:10,840
That's her? That's
your virgin girlfriend?
771
00:49:10,918 --> 00:49:11,942
Shhh! Be quiet!
772
00:49:12,019 --> 00:49:13,008
What do you want?
773
00:49:13,087 --> 00:49:14,076
I'm just surprised.
774
00:49:14,154 --> 00:49:15,143
At what?
775
00:49:15,222 --> 00:49:17,452
You made her out
to be this, like, this, this...
776
00:49:17,524 --> 00:49:20,652
...instead it's this big fight
between men and women.
777
00:49:20,728 --> 00:49:23,595
You don't, you don't think
her ears are a little big?
778
00:49:23,664 --> 00:49:27,930
Are you kidding? She's fantastic.
You can't even see her ears.
779
00:49:28,769 --> 00:49:31,499
I'm just sick
of the whole virgin-fest.
780
00:49:31,572 --> 00:49:32,869
That's not the real issue.
781
00:49:32,940 --> 00:49:34,805
- What is?
- Love.
782
00:49:34,875 --> 00:49:36,775
Respect. Caring.
783
00:49:36,844 --> 00:49:40,712
And these are words that nobody's
mentioned since this whole thing started.
784
00:49:40,781 --> 00:49:43,773
All my friends say
their first time was awful.
785
00:49:43,851 --> 00:49:48,618
It shouldn't be awful. It... it should
be astonishing or superlative.
786
00:49:48,689 --> 00:49:51,157
It should be something
that's worth waiting for.
787
00:49:51,225 --> 00:49:55,423
It's hard enough being
single and scared and alone.
788
00:49:55,496 --> 00:49:57,964
And then you have people smacking
you in the face every day
789
00:49:58,031 --> 00:49:59,999
with what a fool you are
for believing in love.
790
00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:04,595
Maybe if you wait a little
longer, take a little more time...
791
00:50:04,671 --> 00:50:07,799
She is so wise,
so together.
792
00:50:07,875 --> 00:50:08,864
Mm-hmm.
793
00:50:08,942 --> 00:50:13,140
..the right person comes into your
life, and it's a whole new thing.
794
00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:16,478
It's too bad you just don't
know who that person's gonna be.
795
00:50:17,718 --> 00:50:18,707
Me.
796
00:50:18,786 --> 00:50:22,347
Your boyfriend revealed
your biggest secret on TV.
797
00:50:22,422 --> 00:50:25,619
Now here you are.
798
00:50:25,692 --> 00:50:27,353
Come on.
799
00:50:27,427 --> 00:50:29,292
Tell us a secret
of Tom's.
800
00:50:31,632 --> 00:50:33,031
I don't think he has any.
801
00:50:34,234 --> 00:50:36,168
There's not much
going on inside there.
802
00:50:37,171 --> 00:50:40,299
What?! There's a lot
going on inside here.
803
00:50:40,374 --> 00:50:43,502
"So wise, so together"...
804
00:50:43,577 --> 00:50:46,307
Okay, she doesn't know
how I feel. I gotta talk to her.
805
00:50:46,380 --> 00:50:48,871
No, no, no, no, no.
You don't wanna
go in there now.
806
00:50:48,949 --> 00:50:51,713
Look at her...she's all worked up,
and she's emotional.
807
00:50:51,785 --> 00:50:53,980
Just, uh,
let her cool down.
808
00:50:54,054 --> 00:50:56,818
Okay. You're right.
You're always right.
809
00:50:56,890 --> 00:51:00,951
She's gonna be at the health club
'till 7: 00, so I'll talk to her after.
810
00:51:04,731 --> 00:51:08,360
She is photogenic,
though. Wow!
811
00:51:08,836 --> 00:51:10,827
She'll be at the health club
until 7:00. I have to tell her.
812
00:51:11,471 --> 00:51:14,440
"I know you're Lindeman's girlfriend."
She'll hate that!
813
00:51:15,776 --> 00:51:17,767
Hi. I'm Carl.
Welcome to the club.
814
00:51:17,845 --> 00:51:20,245
Hi, how are you?I'm just
here to talk to someone.
815
00:51:20,314 --> 00:51:23,841
Well, you can talk to me. Uh, tell
me, what exactly are your fitness goals?
816
00:51:23,917 --> 00:51:25,077
I'm just looking for...
817
00:51:25,152 --> 00:51:28,178
We've got a Premium Membership
you might want to take a look at.
818
00:51:28,255 --> 00:51:29,244
Can I just...
819
00:51:29,323 --> 00:51:32,053
No, no, no. We don't let non-members
wander around the club.
820
00:51:32,125 --> 00:51:34,320
She's probably just
right around the corner.
821
00:51:34,394 --> 00:51:36,885
Ah, that's great. You know,
we got full cardio...
822
00:51:36,964 --> 00:51:38,659
Free weights.
Pool, aerobics...
823
00:51:38,732 --> 00:51:41,064
Uh-huh, right.
What's it gonna take?
824
00:51:41,134 --> 00:51:43,534
Hah!
I'm glad you asked.
825
00:51:50,143 --> 00:51:52,270
This is the cardio area.
826
00:51:52,346 --> 00:51:54,177
Hey!
827
00:51:54,248 --> 00:51:56,011
I know you.
828
00:51:56,083 --> 00:51:58,415
Well, what...
I didn't know you...
829
00:51:58,485 --> 00:52:00,009
Paul here
just joined the club.
830
00:52:00,087 --> 00:52:02,055
Thank you, Carl. Can you
give us a minute?
831
00:52:02,122 --> 00:52:04,283
You know, I haven't
finished my tour yet.
832
00:52:06,126 --> 00:52:08,788
Okay. Hey! You know what?
You're gonna love this.
833
00:52:08,862 --> 00:52:13,595
It's so far out there.
I, um... I know...
834
00:52:18,005 --> 00:52:19,165
I know...
835
00:52:35,255 --> 00:52:38,281
I know, uh, I was
pretending to be cool,
836
00:52:38,358 --> 00:52:40,792
but I would love it
if you'd come to my opening.
837
00:52:40,861 --> 00:52:42,419
- I'm coming.
- You are?
838
00:52:42,496 --> 00:52:44,225
Yeah. It's, uh,
this Friday, right?
839
00:52:44,298 --> 00:52:46,926
Yeah. Terrific, great.
Alright, it's a date.
840
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:48,865
Excuse me?
841
00:52:50,137 --> 00:52:53,971
Oh, no. No, no, not "It's a date",
like it's a figure of speech.
842
00:52:54,041 --> 00:52:56,373
Not like, not like
what you thought.
843
00:52:56,443 --> 00:52:58,240
Not like a date.
844
00:53:01,548 --> 00:53:03,311
Why don't we?
845
00:53:03,383 --> 00:53:05,078
I think we should.
846
00:53:07,187 --> 00:53:09,417
You know, you
shouldn't stop like that.
847
00:53:09,489 --> 00:53:11,013
You need to warm down
before you...
848
00:53:11,091 --> 00:53:13,252
You don't date.
849
00:53:13,327 --> 00:53:15,192
It's against
your religion.
850
00:53:15,262 --> 00:53:18,254
Our whole friendship is based
on the fact that you don't date
851
00:53:18,332 --> 00:53:21,631
and I won't. You said yourself
it's a mistake to run to the next guy.
852
00:53:21,702 --> 00:53:24,262
Okay. But not if it's me.
853
00:53:33,447 --> 00:53:34,937
Um...
854
00:53:35,015 --> 00:53:37,381
I'm... I'm not coming.
855
00:53:37,451 --> 00:53:40,511
Wha... wha... whoa.
Why not?
856
00:53:40,587 --> 00:53:43,283
I think I should be
by myself. Really.
857
00:53:43,357 --> 00:53:44,824
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
858
00:53:47,861 --> 00:53:49,726
Is that all it is?
859
00:53:51,031 --> 00:53:52,020
What else?
860
00:53:52,099 --> 00:53:56,195
I don't know. Something like you still have
feelings for that guy you were seeing.
861
00:53:56,269 --> 00:53:58,203
Get serious.
862
00:54:00,474 --> 00:54:02,408
What if he called you
tonight?
863
00:54:02,476 --> 00:54:04,467
I wouldn't care.
864
00:54:06,246 --> 00:54:07,907
That's not
what your face says.
865
00:54:13,687 --> 00:54:15,211
Can I...
Jeana...
866
00:54:15,288 --> 00:54:16,846
Hey! I haven't finished
the tour yet.
867
00:54:16,923 --> 00:54:19,653
Carl, will you shut up!
Jeana, please?
868
00:54:21,995 --> 00:54:26,193
If you've gotten him out of your
system, then why this big feud?
869
00:54:27,467 --> 00:54:29,526
Who called it a feud?
870
00:54:29,603 --> 00:54:33,471
Well, n... no
specific person.
871
00:54:35,409 --> 00:54:36,899
Come here.
872
00:54:40,480 --> 00:54:41,742
Listen to me.
873
00:54:41,815 --> 00:54:46,081
My life has been
a catastrophe lately.
874
00:54:46,153 --> 00:54:49,350
I don't want to get into details,
and you don't want to know.
875
00:54:49,423 --> 00:54:53,587
Believe me. The truth is,
I am thrilled you don't know.
876
00:54:55,729 --> 00:54:57,560
You are?
877
00:54:57,631 --> 00:55:01,192
This friendship is the only thing
in my life that's working.
878
00:55:01,268 --> 00:55:03,862
Can't we just leave it be?
879
00:55:03,937 --> 00:55:07,839
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
880
00:55:09,042 --> 00:55:12,341
Thanks.
881
00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:15,711
So... maybe
I'll show up on Friday,
882
00:55:15,782 --> 00:55:23,018
but that's the best
I can do.
883
00:55:23,090 --> 00:55:27,186
She said "friendship",
man. You're history.
884
00:55:27,260 --> 00:55:29,251
Now, how 'bout
those abs?
885
00:55:32,332 --> 00:55:35,995
We should be the town of the toast,
and you're busy thinking or something.
886
00:55:36,069 --> 00:55:37,536
I got a lot on
my mind, Zsa, Zsa.
887
00:55:37,604 --> 00:55:38,764
Like what?
888
00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:43,333
A certain computer geek?
I don't need this.
889
00:55:43,410 --> 00:55:46,846
You know, I have a shoot
with Fabio in the morning.
890
00:55:48,748 --> 00:55:49,737
Lindeman.
891
00:55:49,816 --> 00:55:51,875
Hey, it's Randy
at the Fire District.
892
00:55:51,952 --> 00:55:55,217
You saw how the scam works. Now you need
the list of companies they're hitting.
893
00:55:55,288 --> 00:55:56,277
Who has the list?
894
00:55:56,356 --> 00:55:59,018
It's in the inspection files
in the computer system.
895
00:55:59,092 --> 00:56:02,425
But only the computer people
have access to all the files.
896
00:56:02,496 --> 00:56:06,296
Really?
Very interesting.
897
00:56:06,366 --> 00:56:08,197
Alright.
898
00:56:09,069 --> 00:56:13,005
This is the most sexual-looking
food I've ever seen.
899
00:56:13,073 --> 00:56:15,064
I wish you'd come with me.
900
00:56:17,544 --> 00:56:18,977
Wow!
901
00:56:19,045 --> 00:56:22,276
It's an opening.
People dress up.
902
00:56:24,217 --> 00:56:26,378
[Laughs]
903
00:56:26,453 --> 00:56:28,978
I would kill myself
for you.
904
00:56:30,490 --> 00:56:33,755
I would kill mys...
I would kill myself for you.
905
00:56:39,599 --> 00:56:40,896
I can't.
906
00:56:53,747 --> 00:56:56,079
- Hi.
- Hello, love. Come on in.
907
00:56:59,252 --> 00:57:01,117
Have a nice time.
908
00:57:08,929 --> 00:57:10,897
Wow!
You look terrific.
909
00:57:10,964 --> 00:57:12,556
Really.
910
00:57:12,632 --> 00:57:14,497
I'm running late.
911
00:57:14,568 --> 00:57:15,933
For what?
912
00:57:16,002 --> 00:57:17,731
It's private.
Not for broadcast.
913
00:57:17,804 --> 00:57:21,001
I'm working on a story about
bogus fire department inspections
914
00:57:21,074 --> 00:57:24,305
and, uh... I really
need some information.
915
00:57:24,377 --> 00:57:26,345
Me, help you?
916
00:57:27,814 --> 00:57:30,146
You have every right
to hate me.
917
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:35,478
What are we
doing here?
918
00:57:35,555 --> 00:57:36,852
You love this place.
919
00:57:36,923 --> 00:57:39,050
That's what I mean.
920
00:58:02,549 --> 00:58:03,982
Whoo!
921
00:58:06,086 --> 00:58:07,610
I'm not having fun.
922
00:58:08,555 --> 00:58:10,921
Then you're crazy.
Look at this, it's perfect.
923
00:58:14,261 --> 00:58:16,422
Okay.
924
00:58:16,496 --> 00:58:20,398
It is dirty pool bringing you
here. We had great times here.
925
00:58:20,467 --> 00:58:23,300
But where can we go?We had great
times all over this city.
926
00:58:23,370 --> 00:58:25,304
I thought we were gonna
talk about business.
927
00:58:25,372 --> 00:58:29,001
Jeana, I've broken up
with plenty of women
928
00:58:29,075 --> 00:58:31,635
and this is the first time
I've ever done it
929
00:58:31,711 --> 00:58:33,804
and thought about
that woman constantly.
930
00:58:35,548 --> 00:58:37,743
Okay. You know
how you divide things up?
931
00:58:37,817 --> 00:58:41,480
There's "her", and then
there's everything else.
932
00:58:41,554 --> 00:58:43,181
"Her"?
933
00:58:43,256 --> 00:58:44,814
You.
934
00:58:44,891 --> 00:58:47,121
Ugh. I screwed that up.
935
00:58:47,193 --> 00:58:50,651
You know, I wrote some things
down here, some notes,
and, uh...
936
00:58:54,701 --> 00:58:56,328
Okay. Okay.
937
00:58:59,506 --> 00:59:00,666
I don't know.
938
00:59:02,075 --> 00:59:05,772
I'm not very good without
a script, but I... I wanna be.
939
00:59:05,845 --> 00:59:07,710
Good.
940
00:59:07,781 --> 00:59:09,510
For you.
941
00:59:11,451 --> 00:59:12,941
I'm supposed
to be someplace.
942
00:59:13,019 --> 00:59:14,281
Let me explain.
943
00:59:14,354 --> 00:59:16,584
Listen, we discuss
the district or I'm leaving.
944
00:59:16,656 --> 00:59:18,715
Okay. Alright. You win.
945
00:59:20,994 --> 00:59:22,723
I need those
inspection files.
946
00:59:23,596 --> 00:59:27,225
Well, then,
what's in it for me?
947
00:59:32,639 --> 00:59:34,436
Wait a minute.
Both tickets?
948
00:59:34,507 --> 00:59:37,908
One of them belongs to me, and I'll
trade you the files for the other one.
949
00:59:37,977 --> 00:59:39,410
That hardly seems fair.
950
00:59:39,479 --> 00:59:43,279
Huh. "Fair"?
When'd you learn that word?
951
00:59:44,818 --> 00:59:47,218
Okay. Alright. I know
we're having this fight,
952
00:59:47,287 --> 00:59:49,687
but if we could just step
around it for a moment...
953
00:59:49,756 --> 00:59:54,386
Oh! You can't step around it!It's the same
thing! You want something for nothing!
954
00:59:54,461 --> 00:59:57,157
You're the reason why
relationships don't work!
955
00:59:57,230 --> 01:00:00,722
Okay. Blame me for the world's
problems. Are you giving me the files?
956
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:02,324
Are you giving me
the tickets?
957
01:00:22,889 --> 01:00:24,857
I'll stop by and
pick them up tomorrow.
958
01:00:38,805 --> 01:00:41,000
I wanted to see
your pictures.
959
01:00:46,546 --> 01:00:48,673
I got some at my place.
960
01:00:53,086 --> 01:00:54,553
Okay.
961
01:00:54,621 --> 01:00:56,782
That's a nice dress.
962
01:00:58,925 --> 01:01:00,153
Thanks.
963
01:01:06,166 --> 01:01:09,499
Yes, ma'am. It went
really well, actually.
964
01:01:09,569 --> 01:01:13,767
No. Well, I can't really
talk about that right now.
965
01:01:15,208 --> 01:01:17,642
Because she's right here.
966
01:01:17,710 --> 01:01:22,477
Yeah. I'll talk
to you later, Mom.
967
01:01:24,918 --> 01:01:27,352
Hmph. Wrong number.
968
01:01:28,621 --> 01:01:30,521
I kinda told her about you.
969
01:01:32,859 --> 01:01:34,326
Would you like some tea?
970
01:01:34,394 --> 01:01:36,191
- Yeah.
- Okay.
971
01:01:48,708 --> 01:01:50,403
A little hot.
972
01:01:50,477 --> 01:01:52,342
These are wonderful.
973
01:01:52,412 --> 01:01:55,040
Thanks.
Thank you very much.
974
01:02:07,093 --> 01:02:11,530
I took that one at, uh, my
granddaddy's ranch in Texarkana.
975
01:02:11,598 --> 01:02:15,034
Here's a nude one
of my mom.
976
01:02:15,101 --> 01:02:17,365
I'm joking.
977
01:02:20,273 --> 01:02:24,369
I call thees one
"The Agony of De Feet."
978
01:02:29,048 --> 01:02:31,141
They're so in love.
979
01:02:31,217 --> 01:02:34,015
[Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
play Crimson and Clover]
980
01:03:08,922 --> 01:03:11,288
Thanks.
I'll be going now.
981
01:03:12,625 --> 01:03:13,853
What?
982
01:03:13,927 --> 01:03:15,087
I have to go. I'm sorry.
983
01:03:15,161 --> 01:03:17,288
We've got something here.
You don't feel that?
984
01:03:17,363 --> 01:03:18,830
- I don't want to!
- But you do.
985
01:03:18,898 --> 01:03:21,492
If I stay, we'll ruin
everything. I know it.
986
01:03:21,568 --> 01:03:23,468
I'm not asking
for anything tonight.
987
01:03:23,536 --> 01:03:28,269
Hey, I'm not asking for anything
this year. Just don't go.
988
01:03:57,804 --> 01:04:01,205
What this movie needs,
Cary Grant.
989
01:04:02,342 --> 01:04:04,173
Walter Matthau.
990
01:04:04,243 --> 01:04:05,972
Walter Matthau, hm?
991
01:04:06,045 --> 01:04:07,706
- Mmm-hm.
- I see how you are.
992
01:04:18,491 --> 01:04:20,584
We didn't say no kissing,
did we?
993
01:04:20,660 --> 01:04:26,064
Not yet. Maybe we should.
In ten seconds.
994
01:04:26,132 --> 01:04:27,690
Okay.
995
01:05:17,016 --> 01:05:18,745
I should go home
and change.
996
01:05:18,818 --> 01:05:22,549
No, no, no.
You look great.
997
01:05:26,325 --> 01:05:30,785
Move over just a bit.
Right there. Alright...
998
01:05:35,435 --> 01:05:36,834
Scoot over here.
999
01:05:40,773 --> 01:05:43,901
Mmm. Together forever.
1000
01:05:43,976 --> 01:05:45,534
Oh, really?
1001
01:05:45,611 --> 01:05:47,203
Well, on film.
1002
01:05:49,649 --> 01:05:51,241
Let me get one more,
real quick.
1003
01:05:54,053 --> 01:05:55,816
Hey, Jeana!
1004
01:05:58,291 --> 01:05:59,724
You guys
know each other?
1005
01:05:59,792 --> 01:06:01,817
You guys know
each other?
1006
01:06:03,096 --> 01:06:04,188
Yeah.
We work together.
1007
01:06:08,134 --> 01:06:09,999
But you're
a still photographer.
1008
01:06:10,069 --> 01:06:12,469
On the weekends.
1009
01:06:12,538 --> 01:06:14,130
My camera guy!
1010
01:06:14,907 --> 01:06:16,272
Oh, my God!
1011
01:06:16,342 --> 01:06:18,833
Then you know,
you know everything.
1012
01:06:18,911 --> 01:06:22,312
That is, uh,
fairly accurate.
1013
01:06:23,049 --> 01:06:25,745
I thought you were the only guy
in the world who didn't know.
1014
01:06:25,818 --> 01:06:28,252
You're the guy he's been blabbing
to in the first place.
1015
01:06:28,321 --> 01:06:29,982
Right. Jeana...
1016
01:06:30,056 --> 01:06:31,045
And you didn't tell me!
1017
01:06:31,124 --> 01:06:33,558
You didn't want me
to tell you!
1018
01:06:33,626 --> 01:06:35,856
What's this? The same
dress as last night?
1019
01:06:37,463 --> 01:06:38,794
What? What does
that mean?
1020
01:06:38,865 --> 01:06:40,389
It means,
you know, that...
1021
01:06:40,466 --> 01:06:42,434
She went home with
someone she barely knows.
1022
01:06:42,502 --> 01:06:44,129
What exactly
are you trying to imply?
1023
01:06:44,203 --> 01:06:46,330
How do you know what dress
she had on last night?
1024
01:06:46,405 --> 01:06:49,306
Because what you're implying is
none of your business to imply.
1025
01:06:49,375 --> 01:06:50,603
You were with him
last night?
1026
01:06:50,676 --> 01:06:52,200
How long has this
been going on?
1027
01:06:52,278 --> 01:06:53,643
You wore this dress
to see him.
1028
01:06:53,713 --> 01:06:54,702
I didn't "see" him.
1029
01:06:54,781 --> 01:06:56,476
You said she had
big ears.
1030
01:06:56,549 --> 01:06:58,483
- What?
- That's just weird.
1031
01:06:58,551 --> 01:07:00,348
What were you doin'
together last night?
1032
01:07:00,419 --> 01:07:02,546
- What's the difference?
- There's a big difference.
1033
01:07:02,622 --> 01:07:04,055
- Gimme that.
- No.
1034
01:07:04,123 --> 01:07:07,684
I didn't plan on seeing him,
and you weren't honest.
1035
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:10,160
God, you're just as much
a guy as the rest of them!
1036
01:07:10,229 --> 01:07:12,129
I... I can't believe
I did it again.
1037
01:07:12,198 --> 01:07:13,995
I don't even
like popcorn.
1038
01:07:15,668 --> 01:07:16,896
My camera guy!
1039
01:07:16,969 --> 01:07:18,698
Hey, guys, guys!
1040
01:07:18,771 --> 01:07:20,966
Gimme the ball!
1041
01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,134
You told me that I was
in love with her.
1042
01:07:24,210 --> 01:07:27,008
That was before I knew
that your "her" was my "her".
1043
01:07:27,079 --> 01:07:30,742
As a matter of fact, I can't even believe
that I have the same "her" as you.
1044
01:07:30,817 --> 01:07:33,342
Hey, wait a minute!
You two are ridiculous!
1045
01:07:33,419 --> 01:07:35,649
At least you have
somebody to fight over!
1046
01:07:35,721 --> 01:07:39,487
I have no one!I just have my...
my...my work, my midget porn,
1047
01:07:39,559 --> 01:07:41,254
and...
1048
01:07:42,361 --> 01:07:44,454
Yeah, that was
kind of personal.
1049
01:07:45,898 --> 01:07:49,163
[Bob Woodruff featuring Lucinda
Williams sing There's Something There]
1050
01:07:49,235 --> 01:07:50,327
He didn't go for it.
1051
01:07:50,403 --> 01:07:52,064
There's a backup plan.
1052
01:07:53,639 --> 01:07:55,664
Backup plan,
as in what?
1053
01:07:55,741 --> 01:07:59,404
As in Ken and Barbie don't make
it to the airport tomorrow.
1054
01:07:59,478 --> 01:08:02,140
Just say "Plan B"
and it's on.
1055
01:08:05,051 --> 01:08:06,780
I couldn't do that.
1056
01:08:12,825 --> 01:08:15,453
You okay?
I mean, for real.
1057
01:08:17,430 --> 01:08:20,422
For real?
I'll let you know.
1058
01:08:36,382 --> 01:08:38,441
You wouldn't give me
a chance the other night,
1059
01:08:38,517 --> 01:08:40,542
and then you go sleep
with some guy you just met?
1060
01:08:40,620 --> 01:08:42,247
Wait. Who said that I... ?
1061
01:08:42,321 --> 01:08:43,788
You trying
to get back at me?
1062
01:08:43,856 --> 01:08:46,290
I'll give you the files
for the tickets,
1063
01:08:46,359 --> 01:08:48,884
and then we never have
to speak to each other again.
1064
01:08:48,961 --> 01:08:52,920
Ha ha! I don't think so."A", you're
the last person I'd give 'em to now.
1065
01:08:52,999 --> 01:08:55,126
And two, I don't care
about that story any more.
1066
01:08:55,201 --> 01:08:56,532
You need that story!
1067
01:08:56,602 --> 01:08:59,867
This whole thing has pumped up our
ratings like you wouldn't believe.
1068
01:08:59,939 --> 01:09:00,928
My boss loves me.
1069
01:09:01,007 --> 01:09:03,976
I start anchoring the noon show as
soon as I get back from the cruise.
1070
01:09:04,043 --> 01:09:05,374
- Fine!
- Fine!
1071
01:09:05,444 --> 01:09:08,880
Fine. You and the mannequin
have fun on my vacation!
1072
01:09:08,948 --> 01:09:10,381
Fine!
1073
01:09:10,449 --> 01:09:12,178
At least she has sex.
1074
01:09:14,387 --> 01:09:16,218
I'm not going.
1075
01:09:19,425 --> 01:09:22,826
Of course, neither are they.
1076
01:09:28,067 --> 01:09:31,468
Randy? Launch Plan B.
1077
01:09:38,311 --> 01:09:39,801
Hi!
1078
01:09:39,879 --> 01:09:41,972
Oh, hi.
1079
01:09:47,586 --> 01:09:49,679
Hmph.
Nice bunch of girls.
1080
01:09:49,755 --> 01:09:52,519
I'm desperate,
desperate I tell you.
1081
01:09:52,591 --> 01:09:57,028
And I'm starting over. So I won't
be going to Vegas with you, Jack.
1082
01:09:57,096 --> 01:09:59,656
I won't be seeing you
in Vegas, Jack.
1083
01:09:59,732 --> 01:10:00,994
Sweetheart?
1084
01:10:01,067 --> 01:10:02,227
Yes?
1085
01:10:02,301 --> 01:10:03,768
I'm here to
break up with you.
1086
01:10:05,137 --> 01:10:06,536
No.
1087
01:10:06,605 --> 01:10:08,539
Not 'till after our cruise.
1088
01:10:10,409 --> 01:10:12,070
I need those tickets.
1089
01:10:12,144 --> 01:10:14,408
Kiss me, Grandpa.
1090
01:10:14,480 --> 01:10:16,243
They're in this room,
aren't they?
1091
01:10:16,315 --> 01:10:17,339
What?
1092
01:10:19,418 --> 01:10:21,283
This must be worth
a couple thousand.
1093
01:10:22,455 --> 01:10:26,721
It's 3, 500, plus tax.
So whatever you
are thinking, don't.
1094
01:10:26,792 --> 01:10:30,250
If you don't give me the
tickets, I rip this in half.
1095
01:10:38,704 --> 01:10:40,001
Booooo!
1096
01:10:42,441 --> 01:10:43,567
Losers!
1097
01:10:43,642 --> 01:10:46,304
Hi, my name's Caroline. I'll be
your roadblock for the evening.
1098
01:10:46,379 --> 01:10:48,370
Yeah, you look
like a roadblock.
1099
01:10:48,447 --> 01:10:49,505
You're unbelievable!
1100
01:10:49,582 --> 01:10:50,879
Watch it, shorty!
1101
01:10:50,950 --> 01:10:52,315
You're invited outside.
1102
01:10:52,385 --> 01:10:54,148
Alright, let's go.
Ladies first.
1103
01:10:54,220 --> 01:10:56,882
Anybody see any
ladies around here?
1104
01:11:05,798 --> 01:11:07,663
I'm so tired of this.
1105
01:11:07,733 --> 01:11:09,724
Good.
Then let's go to Rio.
1106
01:11:11,037 --> 01:11:14,268
For the first time in my life,
I'm in love with someone. You.
1107
01:11:16,208 --> 01:11:17,766
Do we have to do
this right now?
1108
01:11:17,843 --> 01:11:20,835
I've been thinkin' so hard
that I've been getting nosebleeds.
1109
01:11:20,913 --> 01:11:22,642
I've been thinkin'
about you and me
1110
01:11:22,715 --> 01:11:25,047
in the same place
at the same time, all the time.
1111
01:11:25,117 --> 01:11:27,608
Just...
1112
01:11:27,686 --> 01:11:30,382
Just give me
another shot, Jeana.
1113
01:11:30,456 --> 01:11:32,117
Will you marry me?
1114
01:11:37,396 --> 01:11:39,091
Sit here.
1115
01:11:44,637 --> 01:11:47,470
"Will you give me
another shot, marry me?"
1116
01:11:47,540 --> 01:11:49,838
Did that sound stupid?
1117
01:11:49,909 --> 01:11:52,969
It's not so smooth
you should lead off with it.
1118
01:11:53,045 --> 01:11:55,309
Ach, sorry. I just didn't
have time to rehearse,
1119
01:11:55,381 --> 01:11:58,248
and all I know is that all this
crazy stuff happened between us,
1120
01:11:58,317 --> 01:12:01,878
but somehow I love you, and I really
think that that's how it's supposed to feel.
1121
01:12:04,123 --> 01:12:07,650
Do you remember the first time
that you told me about this trip?
1122
01:12:07,726 --> 01:12:11,321
How excited you were?
Let's just start right there.
1123
01:12:11,397 --> 01:12:12,989
Right there.
1124
01:12:17,803 --> 01:12:20,067
I'm not your girlfriend
any more.
1125
01:12:25,511 --> 01:12:27,741
Then come as a stranger.
We'll share a cabin.
1126
01:12:27,813 --> 01:12:30,748
We don't even have to talk to
each other or look at each other.
1127
01:12:30,816 --> 01:12:35,685
Let's just stop being
enemies. It feels wrong.
1128
01:12:45,197 --> 01:12:48,496
No boyfriend-girlfriend,
no sex. Just acquaintances.
1129
01:12:48,567 --> 01:12:50,797
Okay. Yes.
1130
01:12:52,271 --> 01:12:54,671
I just wanna get far away
from here, that's all.
1131
01:12:54,740 --> 01:12:59,074
If you even so much as look at
me the wrong way and it's Tom overboard.
1132
01:12:59,145 --> 01:13:01,705
Okay. I'll pick you up
tomorrow morning at 8:00.
1133
01:13:07,820 --> 01:13:09,549
Stay.
1134
01:13:24,036 --> 01:13:25,469
Hey, tough girl.
1135
01:13:25,538 --> 01:13:27,028
What do you call
two lesbians...
1136
01:13:39,018 --> 01:13:42,579
Oh! No. I've gotta
call Randy.
1137
01:13:42,655 --> 01:13:45,886
What a rumble, huh?I barely got
out before the cops got there.
1138
01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:48,483
We got 'em good
for you, though.
1139
01:13:48,561 --> 01:13:51,997
For me? I didn't
want a war. This is you.
1140
01:13:52,064 --> 01:13:55,329
You and those virgin whackos
stirring things up.
1141
01:13:55,401 --> 01:13:59,735
Oh. You didn't start this?I didn't almost
get punched in the face tonight for you?
1142
01:13:59,805 --> 01:14:03,798
Caroline you always get punched in
the face by every guy that you talk to.
1143
01:14:03,876 --> 01:14:05,741
I just wanna get along.
1144
01:14:05,811 --> 01:14:08,871
Is that what your
big plan was all about?
1145
01:14:08,948 --> 01:14:11,178
You were the one
who pushed me into that.
1146
01:14:11,250 --> 01:14:14,515
Pushed you?I merely gave you
a great idea!
1147
01:14:14,587 --> 01:14:17,317
Who said "Jeana, don't let
him get away with this,
1148
01:14:17,389 --> 01:14:19,289
"Jeana, you have
to get even"?
1149
01:14:19,358 --> 01:14:22,418
I don't know why I listen to
your advice about men anyway.
1150
01:14:22,494 --> 01:14:24,587
Your marriage
was a disaster.
1151
01:14:24,663 --> 01:14:26,631
You're right. It was.
1152
01:14:26,699 --> 01:14:29,600
That's why I try to help my
friends avoid the same mistakes.
1153
01:14:30,202 --> 01:14:32,568
Aw, Caroline,
I'm sorry.
1154
01:14:34,073 --> 01:14:35,597
Oh...
1155
01:14:46,652 --> 01:14:48,119
Oh, no!
1156
01:14:48,187 --> 01:14:51,418
No! No!
1157
01:14:54,593 --> 01:14:56,891
Hello, you've reached
Fire Station 50.
1158
01:14:56,962 --> 01:14:59,726
We're out on a call right now.
If you'd like to leave a message...
1159
01:14:59,798 --> 01:15:00,787
Aaargh! No!
1160
01:15:00,866 --> 01:15:03,096
Engine 50, you know
what to do.
1161
01:15:03,168 --> 01:15:07,696
And let's get this right,
gentlemen. Jeana's counting on us.
1162
01:15:08,274 --> 01:15:10,174
You got it.
No problemo.
1163
01:15:11,977 --> 01:15:13,740
Jeana, come on!
We're late!
1164
01:15:13,812 --> 01:15:15,746
I'll be right down!
1165
01:15:16,982 --> 01:15:19,075
Or if you want,
we can go with the...
1166
01:15:19,151 --> 01:15:21,984
more classic shot,
something like that.
1167
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:35,999
I have to, uh...
1168
01:15:36,068 --> 01:15:38,832
I have to go. Um,
keep these and look...
1169
01:15:38,904 --> 01:15:42,067
I'm so sorry. I... look at these,
and I will, uh. I'll call you.
1170
01:15:52,084 --> 01:15:55,053
I know he's on a call. That's
why I'm calling dispatch.
1171
01:15:55,120 --> 01:15:59,216
Get him a message. Tell him
that Jeana says call it off.
1172
01:15:59,291 --> 01:16:03,159
What? No! I...
Great!
1173
01:16:03,962 --> 01:16:04,951
Uch!
1174
01:16:08,200 --> 01:16:09,667
Ow!
1175
01:16:09,735 --> 01:16:11,464
Ouch!
1176
01:16:15,007 --> 01:16:16,634
Oh!
1177
01:16:16,709 --> 01:16:19,576
Hey, sweetie. What do you say
we take the long way?
1178
01:16:55,681 --> 01:16:58,548
Hey, guys?Randy put you
up to this, right?
1179
01:16:58,617 --> 01:17:00,244
Uh, no.
Never heard of him.
1180
01:17:00,319 --> 01:17:02,219
But if you can
get back to your vehicle,
1181
01:17:02,287 --> 01:17:05,154
we can finish this training
exercise and get you out of here.
1182
01:17:05,224 --> 01:17:06,987
Ah, training exercise.
How clever.
1183
01:17:07,059 --> 01:17:09,493
Yeah. If only I'd made
the Fire Department.
1184
01:17:09,561 --> 01:17:11,620
I look good
in uniform, baby.
1185
01:17:15,801 --> 01:17:17,393
Think she's
too tall for me?
1186
01:17:17,469 --> 01:17:19,266
Yeah.
1187
01:17:19,338 --> 01:17:20,327
She did what?
1188
01:17:20,406 --> 01:17:23,705
She went to the airport with
whats-his-face five minutes ago.
1189
01:17:23,776 --> 01:17:24,765
What airline?
1190
01:17:24,843 --> 01:17:26,936
I don't know.
What am I, her travel agent?
1191
01:17:27,012 --> 01:17:29,537
Uch, I can't let her
go with him.
1192
01:17:29,615 --> 01:17:34,177
Okay, um... Okay, look. Just get
to the airport and start there.
1193
01:17:34,253 --> 01:17:35,584
Alright. Thanks.
1194
01:17:39,825 --> 01:17:42,521
Where is the airport?
1195
01:17:44,229 --> 01:17:45,924
So we're not going
to the airport?
1196
01:17:45,998 --> 01:17:48,762
That cat's been
up there a long time.
1197
01:17:48,834 --> 01:17:50,893
So we're not going
to the airport?
1198
01:17:50,969 --> 01:17:52,903
Well, we're not going
to that airport.
1199
01:17:52,971 --> 01:17:54,461
I got us seats
on a charter jet.
1200
01:17:54,540 --> 01:17:56,474
We're going
to another airport.
1201
01:17:56,542 --> 01:17:58,032
So they'll wait for us?
1202
01:17:58,110 --> 01:18:00,806
Well, no, there's passengers,
you know, on the flight
1203
01:18:00,879 --> 01:18:03,541
besides us, so, no, they
wouldn't wait.
1204
01:18:03,615 --> 01:18:06,584
Relax. It's quality
time, honey.
1205
01:18:07,786 --> 01:18:09,686
So I come
to the I-80 split...
1206
01:18:09,755 --> 01:18:10,881
Yeah...
1207
01:18:10,956 --> 01:18:12,583
...and I stay to the left.
1208
01:18:12,658 --> 01:18:13,647
Sure.
1209
01:18:18,797 --> 01:18:20,128
Oh, God!
1210
01:18:25,137 --> 01:18:27,469
Ha ha ha!
Fake cat!
1211
01:18:29,575 --> 01:18:31,475
Fake cat.
1212
01:18:35,347 --> 01:18:36,439
Alright.
1213
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:41,183
Aaah!
1214
01:18:41,253 --> 01:18:45,189
Not now, not now.
Dammit!
1215
01:18:50,462 --> 01:18:53,124
What're you doin' to me, man?
What're you doin' to me?
1216
01:18:54,199 --> 01:18:55,860
Fix the gas gauge!
1217
01:18:55,934 --> 01:18:58,300
We need to do something
or we're not going.
1218
01:18:58,370 --> 01:19:01,066
Well, at least we're
not going together.
1219
01:19:01,139 --> 01:19:03,107
I'm serious.
1220
01:19:03,175 --> 01:19:06,235
Alright. I'm serious,
too. Uh...
1221
01:19:06,311 --> 01:19:08,438
We'll get there.
This is temporary.
1222
01:19:08,514 --> 01:19:10,948
We have to do something.
We... you have to do something!
1223
01:19:11,016 --> 01:19:13,678
We need to go through a lawn
or a back yard or something,
1224
01:19:13,752 --> 01:19:15,583
because we need
out of here!
1225
01:19:15,654 --> 01:19:18,145
I do like it rough, but I'm
not gettin arrested for you!
1226
01:19:18,223 --> 01:19:19,349
Talk to him.
1227
01:19:21,159 --> 01:19:22,217
Uh, hi, I'm Tom.
1228
01:19:22,294 --> 01:19:24,194
You originally
from Sacramento?
1229
01:19:24,263 --> 01:19:26,231
- Carmichael.
- Carmichael's pretty.
1230
01:19:27,165 --> 01:19:28,723
Hey, look at it like this:
1231
01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:30,358
There's a three-sided
poly gon
1232
01:19:30,435 --> 01:19:32,835
and associated with
each vertices is a name:
1233
01:19:32,905 --> 01:19:36,068
Jefferson, Hamilton,
and Franklin.
1234
01:19:37,209 --> 01:19:38,608
What's a vertice?
1235
01:19:38,677 --> 01:19:40,804
It's a point of a
geometrical construction.
1236
01:19:43,448 --> 01:19:45,439
Oh!
1237
01:19:45,517 --> 01:19:46,882
Thank you very much.
1238
01:19:49,588 --> 01:19:54,890
Look at this. First the Datsun,
then the Gremlin, and now you.
1239
01:19:54,960 --> 01:19:57,827
Well, guess what?You're fired.
I'm getting a new car.
1240
01:20:00,999 --> 01:20:05,902
Hey! Hello! Hi!
1241
01:20:06,605 --> 01:20:10,166
We're here for, uh,
The charter jet.
1242
01:20:10,242 --> 01:20:12,574
Too bad it's not
here for you.
1243
01:20:18,383 --> 01:20:19,645
Man!
1244
01:20:21,453 --> 01:20:24,286
It's like everybody
wanted us to miss that plane.
1245
01:20:28,660 --> 01:20:30,355
You have no idea.
1246
01:20:30,429 --> 01:20:34,490
That story you're
working on, it's fake.
1247
01:20:34,566 --> 01:20:35,863
What?
1248
01:20:35,934 --> 01:20:38,869
I made it up for the tickets.
1249
01:20:38,937 --> 01:20:40,564
Wow!
1250
01:20:40,639 --> 01:20:43,540
You musta really wanted to
stop me from goin'without you.
1251
01:20:43,609 --> 01:20:46,009
I didn't want you to go.
1252
01:20:46,078 --> 01:20:49,241
You... you didn't
wanna go with me?
1253
01:20:50,382 --> 01:20:54,648
You're surprised? I've
never been more furious.
1254
01:20:55,754 --> 01:20:59,246
You told the whole world my biggest
secret, and you didn't apologize.
1255
01:20:59,324 --> 01:21:03,283
Wait. That's what this was all
about? You wanted me to apologize?
1256
01:21:03,362 --> 01:21:04,351
Yeah.
1257
01:21:04,429 --> 01:21:06,454
Wh... why didn't
you just say so?
1258
01:21:06,531 --> 01:21:09,056
I wanted it to be your idea.
1259
01:21:10,335 --> 01:21:12,098
Oh...
1260
01:21:14,172 --> 01:21:15,764
'Cause, you know,
it's funny.
1261
01:21:15,841 --> 01:21:19,208
If you had slept with me just once,
none of this would have happened.
1262
01:21:20,879 --> 01:21:23,712
You're never gonna
marry me, are you?
1263
01:21:25,450 --> 01:21:28,214
I should've been crushed
when that plane took off,
1264
01:21:29,388 --> 01:21:32,687
but I wasn't.
I was relieved.
1265
01:21:35,127 --> 01:21:37,823
Let's face it, it's over.
1266
01:22:13,331 --> 01:22:14,764
Hi.
1267
01:22:16,101 --> 01:22:17,796
You ever watch
Channel 8?
1268
01:22:19,604 --> 01:22:20,628
Virgin.
1269
01:22:38,423 --> 01:22:39,720
What are you
doing here?
1270
01:22:39,791 --> 01:22:41,691
Oh, don't ask.
Long story.
1271
01:22:41,760 --> 01:22:45,890
Listen, I'm sorry, Caroline.
I was such an idiot.
1272
01:22:45,964 --> 01:22:50,401
Well, me too. We... we shouldn't
talk about men, I guess.
1273
01:22:50,469 --> 01:22:53,461
Somehow, I don't see
that happening.
1274
01:22:53,538 --> 01:22:55,904
Well, don't listen
to me so much.
1275
01:23:00,545 --> 01:23:04,413
You know, uh, recent events
got me thinking.
1276
01:23:04,483 --> 01:23:06,974
So...
I called old Adolph.
1277
01:23:07,052 --> 01:23:10,112
You called your ex-husband
after two years?
1278
01:23:10,188 --> 01:23:11,849
Mm-hmm.
1279
01:23:11,923 --> 01:23:14,483
I apologized for driving
his truck into the lake.
1280
01:23:14,559 --> 01:23:16,652
What did he say?!
1281
01:23:16,728 --> 01:23:18,491
He said he's really lonely.
1282
01:23:18,563 --> 01:23:20,360
Oh, he misses you...
1283
01:23:20,432 --> 01:23:21,763
No, he misses the truck.
1284
01:23:23,869 --> 01:23:25,063
Yeah?
1285
01:23:25,137 --> 01:23:27,196
Caroline, it's Paul.
Can I come in?
1286
01:23:28,173 --> 01:23:31,438
Uh, no, I... I just
got out of the shower.
1287
01:23:31,510 --> 01:23:33,671
Well, do you have an overseas
number for Jeana?
1288
01:23:33,745 --> 01:23:35,110
Some way
I can get ahold of her?
1289
01:23:35,180 --> 01:23:37,171
'Cause I really
need to talk to her.
1290
01:23:37,249 --> 01:23:39,479
Uh, no, I don't have
a number for her. But, um...
1291
01:23:39,551 --> 01:23:43,043
What would you want me to
tell her in case she calls?
1292
01:23:43,121 --> 01:23:45,715
Tell her...
1293
01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:51,391
Tell her that I want our night
together to last forever. Okay?
1294
01:23:51,463 --> 01:23:54,159
Tell her that I am done blaming
women, okay?This was my fault.
1295
01:23:54,232 --> 01:23:56,860
I tried to tell her, but she didn't
want me to know, you know,
1296
01:23:56,935 --> 01:23:58,527
and I didn't want
to disappoint her.
1297
01:23:58,603 --> 01:24:02,596
You know? I never
want to disappoint her.
1298
01:24:04,042 --> 01:24:06,340
You can understand that,
can't you, Caroline?
1299
01:24:06,411 --> 01:24:07,469
Yeah, I can.
1300
01:24:07,546 --> 01:24:11,482
I've been alone pretty much all
the time in the past three years,
1301
01:24:11,550 --> 01:24:14,485
and I... I've done a lot of thinking,
and I... I got to know myself,
1302
01:24:14,553 --> 01:24:18,353
and what I want, and it turns out who I want.
I... I, that's why I chased her to the airport.
1303
01:24:18,423 --> 01:24:21,221
I've never chased
anyone before.
1304
01:24:21,293 --> 01:24:24,626
I walked into that coffee
shop by mistake. Alright?
1305
01:24:24,696 --> 01:24:28,894
I was lost. And it turned out
to be one of those cosmic accidents
1306
01:24:28,967 --> 01:24:32,903
she's always talkin' about, you know?
Like a sublime event, you know?
1307
01:24:32,971 --> 01:24:36,372
Something arranged by the gods so
that two people are happy. And I...
1308
01:24:36,441 --> 01:24:40,070
I've been waiting,
just like her,
1309
01:24:40,145 --> 01:24:43,637
okay, for my something
superlative and astonishing.
1310
01:24:46,518 --> 01:24:48,486
And then she ran
into me.
1311
01:24:53,024 --> 01:24:54,355
Just tell her...
1312
01:25:02,300 --> 01:25:03,392
Tell her I love her.
1313
01:25:05,737 --> 01:25:07,864
Like never before
and never again.
1314
01:25:29,494 --> 01:25:31,860
Going out for several hours.
Door's unlocked.
1315
01:25:34,833 --> 01:25:36,494
Well, that
was subtle.
1316
01:26:25,317 --> 01:26:26,784
Oh!
1317
01:26:26,851 --> 01:26:29,081
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
1318
01:26:29,154 --> 01:26:30,678
It's okay.
1319
01:27:34,085 --> 01:27:36,178
You okay?
1320
01:27:36,254 --> 01:27:38,484
Actually, um...
1321
01:27:40,125 --> 01:27:42,593
I'm seeing spots.
1322
01:27:42,660 --> 01:27:47,063
There's one right here
and right here.
1323
01:27:49,334 --> 01:27:51,666
Uh, have you
had chicken pox?
1324
01:27:51,736 --> 01:27:53,499
What?
1325
01:27:55,206 --> 01:27:57,436
Never mind.
101087
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