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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,908 How do you want me? 2 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:47,030 Oh, that's good. Yeah, just... Just get comfortable. 3 00:00:50,033 --> 00:00:51,910 I'm a little nervous. 4 00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:53,620 You're doing great. 5 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,334 A little to the right there, gorgeous. 6 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:02,921 - Okay. Like this? - Oh, that a girl. 7 00:01:08,219 --> 00:01:10,722 Yeah. Okay. 8 00:01:10,930 --> 00:01:12,932 - You ready? - Yeah. 9 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,643 - You're blushing, Dorothy. - Don't blush, Kathy. 10 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,645 Oh, Kathy. 11 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:21,149 Okay, and big smile. 12 00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,234 Kathy Regan. 13 00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:25,111 I will always remember... 14 00:01:25,528 --> 00:01:27,238 ...the game against Fairfield. 15 00:01:27,447 --> 00:01:29,240 That one final kick. 16 00:01:29,449 --> 00:01:32,035 State champion, senior year. 17 00:01:32,410 --> 00:01:34,120 Hunter McCaffrey. 18 00:01:34,537 --> 00:01:36,039 I will always remember... 19 00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:39,042 ...all the great times with the dirty dozen... 20 00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,419 ...and macking all the honeys. 21 00:01:42,628 --> 00:01:44,422 Cindy K. Tina B. 22 00:01:44,630 --> 00:01:46,717 Michelle H. Goddamn! 23 00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:48,427 Just too many to remember. 24 00:01:49,636 --> 00:01:53,223 I'll always remember lacrosse champions. 25 00:01:54,224 --> 00:01:56,435 All the glory days with the boys. 26 00:01:56,643 --> 00:01:58,020 I will always remember... 27 00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:00,522 ...the math-club madmen... 28 00:02:01,732 --> 00:02:03,650 ...making the perfect fake ID's... 29 00:02:04,151 --> 00:02:06,445 ...which lasted six seconds 30 00:02:07,821 --> 00:02:10,240 - Troy Cochran. - Troy Cochran. 31 00:02:10,449 --> 00:02:11,950 - Troy gives good head. - Fuck you! 32 00:02:12,326 --> 00:02:13,827 I'll always remember... 33 00:02:14,036 --> 00:02:15,621 Seniors! 34 00:02:15,913 --> 00:02:18,040 ...the senior prank. 35 00:03:23,315 --> 00:03:26,819 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 36 00:03:33,534 --> 00:03:35,453 YEARBOOK MEMORIES FORM SENIORS ONLY! 37 00:03:35,619 --> 00:03:38,039 MATTHEW KIDMAN I'll always remember... 38 00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:50,552 Yeah, well, I told you I wanted to try out. 39 00:03:54,431 --> 00:03:56,516 We'd like to honor a student... 40 00:03:56,641 --> 00:03:59,936 ...who has shown outstanding leadership. 41 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:02,814 We have no doubt that he will be one... 42 00:04:02,939 --> 00:04:04,649 ...of the great politicians in Washington. 43 00:04:04,816 --> 00:04:06,151 Georgetown UNIVERSITY 44 00:04:06,318 --> 00:04:09,946 The award for the brightest leader... 45 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:12,032 ...of tomorrow, Matthew Kidman. 46 00:04:14,826 --> 00:04:17,120 - I'm in! I'm in! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 47 00:04:18,455 --> 00:04:20,040 Georgetown! They gave it to you! 48 00:04:58,121 --> 00:04:59,831 Hey, Jenny. 49 00:05:02,041 --> 00:05:04,127 Yeah, dude, come on. 50 00:05:14,722 --> 00:05:17,224 SENIOR PROM DO YOU HAVE THE FEVER? 51 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,437 - Do you have the fever? - No. 52 00:05:22,354 --> 00:05:24,148 Why? Do you? 53 00:05:24,857 --> 00:05:26,817 I don't know. Maybe. 54 00:05:27,735 --> 00:05:29,319 How about you? 55 00:05:29,737 --> 00:05:31,655 I just gotta fuck something. 56 00:05:31,822 --> 00:05:34,450 I said, everybody say, "Ho!" 57 00:05:40,247 --> 00:05:41,623 You know what I say? 58 00:05:41,832 --> 00:05:45,753 I say, this prom is gonna be off the hook! Do you feel me? 59 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,721 Security's gonna be tight. Get wasted before you show up. 60 00:05:56,139 --> 00:05:57,849 That's enough! 61 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:00,518 That's enough. I can wait. 62 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,355 I can wait, people. 63 00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:07,442 Now, it is your student-council president... 64 00:06:07,525 --> 00:06:10,028 ...who has a few announcements to make. 65 00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:13,531 Thanks, Mr. Salinger. 66 00:06:18,453 --> 00:06:20,747 All right, how you doing? 67 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:25,627 Okay, let's start off with Operation Get Samnang. 68 00:06:25,835 --> 00:06:27,837 Sam Young, baby! 69 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,256 Yeah. 70 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:35,137 Well, we did it. We raised the 25,000 dollars... 71 00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:38,557 ...so now we can bring the genius Samnang out of Cambodia... 72 00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,643 ...and bring him here to study at Westport. 73 00:06:43,354 --> 00:06:47,149 Speaking of which, Samnang sent us a new tape. 74 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:49,151 Show that shit! 75 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,738 Show it! 76 00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:55,950 Hi, everyone, it's Samnang. 77 00:06:57,952 --> 00:06:59,745 Sam Young! 78 00:06:59,954 --> 00:07:03,749 I am very excited to be coming soon. Are you excited? 79 00:07:08,254 --> 00:07:11,841 I told my class that I am coming to America. They were sad. 80 00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:13,426 I am so happy. 81 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,138 - I wanna bang you! - Go, Cougars! 82 00:07:31,319 --> 00:07:33,947 How do they just skip class every day and go to the beach? 83 00:07:34,531 --> 00:07:36,325 Because they just don't care. 84 00:07:47,836 --> 00:07:49,254 Let's go with them. 85 00:07:50,756 --> 00:07:53,050 - Seriously, let's just do it. - Why? 86 00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:55,928 Because, I mean, we never do anything. 87 00:07:56,137 --> 00:07:59,140 I mean, we're graduating. We should be going nuts right now. 88 00:07:59,349 --> 00:08:00,641 Let's just do something. 89 00:08:00,850 --> 00:08:02,852 I am doing something, I'm going to class. 90 00:08:03,227 --> 00:08:05,229 Klitz, you already got into Yale. 91 00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:06,939 I mean, it doesn't matter anymore. 92 00:08:07,148 --> 00:08:08,649 Yeah, Klitz, you pussy. 93 00:08:08,858 --> 00:08:11,652 - Well, why don't you go? - Yeah, come on. Let's go. 94 00:08:11,819 --> 00:08:13,738 Beach is for fags, man. 95 00:08:13,946 --> 00:08:16,449 - The beach is for fags? - Yeah. 96 00:08:17,659 --> 00:08:20,536 You know what? You guys are fags. 97 00:08:25,333 --> 00:08:26,542 Everyone to the beach! 98 00:08:28,544 --> 00:08:30,922 Let's go! Lock them and load them, dude. 99 00:08:32,340 --> 00:08:33,633 WESTPORT HIGH SCHOOL 100 00:08:35,343 --> 00:08:36,929 Fuck it. 101 00:08:55,823 --> 00:08:57,449 SCHOOL SECURITY 102 00:08:57,741 --> 00:09:00,452 Personal power means the ability to act... 103 00:09:00,536 --> 00:09:03,247 ...the ability to take action. 104 00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,332 STOP CHECK-OUT WITH SECURITY 105 00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:08,127 Three steps to personal power are necessary for results. 106 00:09:08,335 --> 00:09:09,962 Here's number one step to personal power. 107 00:09:10,045 --> 00:09:12,631 It's called energy. Energy. 108 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,634 When you wake up feeling really lethargic, really lousy... 109 00:09:15,843 --> 00:09:18,054 ...do you usually jump up and go-? 110 00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:28,523 Oh, shit. 111 00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:51,463 Hey! Pull it over! 112 00:09:53,131 --> 00:09:55,133 Pull it over! Pull- 113 00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:27,625 Oh, well, you're home early. 114 00:10:27,958 --> 00:10:30,127 I postponed yearbook. I gotta work on my speech 115 00:10:30,336 --> 00:10:32,630 - Hi, Mr. Peterson. - Mr. President. 116 00:10:32,963 --> 00:10:34,840 - Mrs. Peterson. - Congratulations. 117 00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:37,927 - Oh, thank you. - Congratulations. Georgetown. 118 00:10:38,135 --> 00:10:40,931 Wow, you must be flying. 119 00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:42,057 It's cool. 120 00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:43,558 What's the speech you're working on? 121 00:10:43,725 --> 00:10:46,561 Oh, it's for this scholarship I need to get so I can... 122 00:10:46,645 --> 00:10:48,730 ...actually go to Georgetown. 123 00:10:48,939 --> 00:10:50,524 It's pretty expensive. 124 00:10:50,732 --> 00:10:52,734 What kind of scholarship is it? 125 00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:53,443 What do they give it for? 126 00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:58,240 It's for the student who best demonstrates moral fiber. 127 00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,325 Oh, moral fiber. Well, that's- 128 00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:03,328 - Oh, I'm sure you'll get it. - Thanks. I mean, I hope so. 129 00:11:03,537 --> 00:11:04,955 I mean, there's some stiff Competition... 130 00:11:05,038 --> 00:11:07,541 ...and they only pick one of us... 131 00:11:07,749 --> 00:11:11,128 ...so I'll just have to blow them away with my speech. 132 00:11:14,464 --> 00:11:18,051 Okay, so why do I deserve this scholarship? 133 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,262 1. MAKE EYE CONTACT 2. BE CHARMING 3. JFK! 134 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,057 ...can do for you but what you can do..." 135 00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,727 John F. Kennedy once said, "Ask not what 136 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,055 Look, I don't know who she is. 137 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:05,351 I'm just saying that this girl was unbelievable. 138 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,936 I mean, she was like this angel. 139 00:12:08,145 --> 00:12:11,732 I mean, she had this smile. I mean, you should have seen it. 140 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:15,152 - So did you bang her? - Oh, yeah, yeah. I banged her. 141 00:12:15,444 --> 00:12:17,029 That's what a man does, okay? 142 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:20,240 - Yeah. Okay, Eli. - Good. 143 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:25,454 Oh, my God. She's so hot. 144 00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:28,540 - What channel, dude? - No, the girl next door. 145 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:30,334 I can see her through my window. 146 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,835 How's the rack? 147 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:35,339 - God, who is this girl? - How's the rack? 148 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,257 - Hold on. Relax. - No. You relax. 149 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,426 Be a man and go over there. 150 00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,053 Okay. Say what? 151 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,848 I don't know. Get off your ass and do something. Fuck! 152 00:12:48,937 --> 00:12:50,647 - Hey, what are you doing? - What? 153 00:12:50,855 --> 00:12:52,649 Hey, dude, seriously, I told you... 154 00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:55,068 ...it really freaks me out when you watch that while... 155 00:12:55,151 --> 00:12:56,444 ...you're talking to me. 156 00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:58,947 Just learn to like it. 157 00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:06,955 Oh, my God. 158 00:13:07,163 --> 00:13:09,457 What? Matt, what? 159 00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:10,959 Matt! 160 00:13:17,132 --> 00:13:19,259 Dude, what the fuck? 161 00:13:38,654 --> 00:13:40,031 Shit! 162 00:14:10,562 --> 00:14:12,731 - Yes? - I'm sorry. 163 00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:17,152 - Dan. - What's going on? 164 00:14:17,652 --> 00:14:18,362 Matthew! 165 00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:21,656 Matthew, come down here. 166 00:14:33,251 --> 00:14:35,754 - What are you doing up there? - Nothing. 167 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,964 Come down here. 168 00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:46,765 This is Danielle. 169 00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:50,853 You know Mrs. Clark from next door. Danielle's her niece. 170 00:14:51,562 --> 00:14:53,940 Danielle just told us something very interesting. 171 00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:58,569 Mrs. Clark is in Africa for two weeks with her church group. 172 00:14:58,736 --> 00:15:00,071 Did you know that? 173 00:15:01,447 --> 00:15:03,950 Anyway, Danielle just came in from Los Angeles... 174 00:15:04,158 --> 00:15:06,953 ...and she's housesitting while her aunt's away. 175 00:15:07,161 --> 00:15:08,663 Why don't you show her around. 176 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,134 Such a long road, you know. 177 00:15:29,643 --> 00:15:32,855 - What are we doing? - Did you like what you saw? 178 00:15:33,272 --> 00:15:35,232 What are you talking about? 179 00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:40,571 Okay, I saw you for, like, an instant. 180 00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:42,239 - An instant? - Yeah. 181 00:15:42,448 --> 00:15:43,949 It was no big deal. 182 00:15:45,659 --> 00:15:50,330 No, no, it was- It was a big deal, but it's just that... 183 00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:52,333 I didn't... 184 00:15:55,169 --> 00:15:56,962 I'm sorry. 185 00:15:57,171 --> 00:15:58,756 I'm sorry. 186 00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:02,051 So, what are we gonna do about this? 187 00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:05,971 I mean, I said I was sorry. 188 00:16:10,268 --> 00:16:11,644 What? 189 00:16:11,853 --> 00:16:13,146 You saw me... 190 00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,859 Yeah, right, like I'm gonna strip right here? 191 00:16:21,446 --> 00:16:22,947 Are you serious? 192 00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,869 No. 193 00:16:28,953 --> 00:16:31,664 No. No, never gonna happen. 194 00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:36,670 The whole package. 195 00:16:36,836 --> 00:16:38,463 No, come on, this is good enough. 196 00:16:41,049 --> 00:16:43,343 Jesus! Come on, will you relax? 197 00:16:45,762 --> 00:16:47,347 Frigging psycho. 198 00:16:54,855 --> 00:16:57,149 There. You happy now? 199 00:17:02,363 --> 00:17:03,656 Yep. 200 00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,160 Hey! Wait! 201 00:17:08,869 --> 00:17:10,871 No! 202 00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:14,834 Jesus. Sorry. 203 00:17:23,551 --> 00:17:25,636 You're an asshole. It's not funny. 204 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,847 It's a little funny. 205 00:17:30,850 --> 00:17:32,269 Come on. 206 00:17:32,436 --> 00:17:34,771 Let me in. Let me in. 207 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,160 It's not funny. 208 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,037 It's a little funny. 209 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:04,343 So, what else do you do besides torture people? 210 00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:08,764 - Seriously, what's your story? - I don't know. 211 00:18:09,848 --> 00:18:11,558 I kind of just quit my job. 212 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:15,438 I want to start over. Maybe go to college. 213 00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:25,573 So are you here alone or what? 214 00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,867 - What? - Just ask. 215 00:18:33,456 --> 00:18:36,667 Do you have a boyfriend? 216 00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:39,045 No. 217 00:18:41,339 --> 00:18:44,967 Aren't you gonna ask me if I have a girlfriend? 218 00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:48,137 No. 01:18:45.04:18:46.13 Okay. 219 00:18:48,471 --> 00:18:51,474 So you're about to graduate. You must be going nuts right now. 220 00:18:53,267 --> 00:18:54,645 Yeah. 221 00:18:54,853 --> 00:18:59,066 I mean, it's just been off the hook, you know? 222 00:18:59,358 --> 00:19:00,943 - Really? - Yeah. 223 00:19:02,152 --> 00:19:04,446 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 224 00:19:04,655 --> 00:19:07,157 Oh, I mean, it's hard to tell, you know, because we- 225 00:19:07,366 --> 00:19:09,952 I've just done so much nuts stuff. I mean... 226 00:19:10,452 --> 00:19:13,372 It's just off the hook, off the walls. I mean... 227 00:19:13,539 --> 00:19:16,166 You haven't done anything, have you? 228 00:19:17,376 --> 00:19:18,669 No. 229 00:19:19,545 --> 00:19:22,339 It's kind of- It's kind of been my problem lately. 230 00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:24,967 Come on, there's gotta be something. 231 00:19:25,759 --> 00:19:27,261 What about your girlfriend? 232 00:19:30,264 --> 00:19:31,473 Okay. 233 00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:34,643 We can figure this out. You just need a girl. 234 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,063 What kind of girl? 235 00:19:38,565 --> 00:19:40,275 Definitely someone cute. 236 00:19:40,775 --> 00:19:42,444 Definitely. 237 00:19:43,445 --> 00:19:45,947 Someone who can make him laugh. 238 00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,660 But he also needs someone who's gonna push him. 239 00:19:52,162 --> 00:19:54,039 Someone who's gonna make him do... 240 00:19:54,164 --> 00:19:56,041 ...things he never thought he could do. 241 00:19:56,875 --> 00:19:59,753 Like stripping in the middle of the street? 242 00:20:22,443 --> 00:20:25,446 - Well, thanks for the ride. - No problem. 243 00:20:33,371 --> 00:20:35,164 Well... 244 00:20:36,374 --> 00:20:37,958 ...good night. 245 00:20:38,167 --> 00:20:39,543 Good night. 246 00:20:44,757 --> 00:20:45,758 "Good night"? What are you, gay? 247 00:20:47,968 --> 00:20:50,971 - I would have nailed her. - Ok, you wouldn't have nailed her. 248 00:20:51,138 --> 00:20:53,474 - Whatever, dude. - And, you know, secondly... 249 00:20:53,641 --> 00:20:56,352 ...you know, the vibe was not right. 250 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,856 The vibe wasn't right? She comes to your house and makes you strip. 251 00:21:00,065 --> 00:21:02,567 What does she have to do, sit on your face? 252 00:21:03,568 --> 00:21:05,153 Come on, bitch. 253 00:21:05,862 --> 00:21:09,074 - Damn. Should have kissed her. - Are you okay? Dude? 254 00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,953 All right, you all have this graph, correct? 255 00:21:13,161 --> 00:21:15,539 Good. Let's move along then. 256 00:21:15,872 --> 00:21:17,541 Now, it's a very simple equation here. 257 00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,960 Somebody give me the answer to this. 258 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:25,257 All right, if no one knows the answer to this... 259 00:21:26,758 --> 00:21:29,678 Looking at this calculation, what does this make us think of? 260 00:21:34,850 --> 00:21:36,643 Questions on this? 261 00:22:03,171 --> 00:22:07,050 Good news, ladies and gentlemen. Pop-quiz time. 262 00:22:51,261 --> 00:22:54,348 That's Samnang Sok. He's this complete genius. 263 00:22:54,556 --> 00:22:56,558 So we raised all this money for him... 264 00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:58,769 ...to come here and study at our school. 265 00:22:58,977 --> 00:23:02,148 - Who's "we"? - Well, I mean, I did... 266 00:23:02,357 --> 00:23:04,859 ...but he could be the next Einstein, you know. 267 00:23:05,568 --> 00:23:07,570 You know, he could cure cancer. 268 00:23:15,954 --> 00:23:17,747 Let's go. 269 00:23:22,252 --> 00:23:24,254 So, what do you wanna do? 270 00:23:27,465 --> 00:23:28,758 What? 271 00:23:31,761 --> 00:23:33,179 I'm not stripping again. 272 00:23:34,055 --> 00:23:35,765 Come on. 273 00:23:50,156 --> 00:23:51,866 Danielle! 274 00:23:53,284 --> 00:23:54,869 Come on. Where are you going? 275 00:24:08,758 --> 00:24:10,760 Hey, come on, let's get out of here. 276 00:24:11,469 --> 00:24:13,679 How do you know no one's home? 277 00:24:13,846 --> 00:24:15,473 - I don't. - Come on. 278 00:24:15,681 --> 00:24:17,183 Seriously, this is nuts. 279 00:24:28,653 --> 00:24:30,155 Oh, boxers. 280 00:24:30,655 --> 00:24:35,160 I always wear boxers. You just caught me on a weird day. 281 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:50,550 So, what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 282 00:24:53,679 --> 00:24:55,055 This is right up there. 283 00:25:08,069 --> 00:25:10,071 Oh, my God. 284 00:25:12,865 --> 00:25:14,659 - That's Mr. Salinger. - Who? 285 00:25:14,867 --> 00:25:16,869 That's my principal. Seriously, let's go. 286 00:25:18,663 --> 00:25:21,165 - It's not funny. - It's a little funny. 287 00:25:23,876 --> 00:25:25,670 Hey. 288 00:25:28,047 --> 00:25:30,049 Just go with it. 289 00:25:50,446 --> 00:25:53,365 Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you. 290 00:25:53,574 --> 00:25:56,076 Dude, learn to like it. 291 00:26:01,373 --> 00:26:03,083 I'm all wet. Can I come in? 292 00:26:09,965 --> 00:26:13,052 Hey, guys. This is Danielle. 293 00:26:13,385 --> 00:26:16,472 You must be Eli. And Klitz. Right. 294 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,557 Hey, come on, we're all going out. 295 00:26:18,766 --> 00:26:23,479 - Can I use your bathroom first? - Oh, it's over here to the left. 296 00:26:29,569 --> 00:26:32,280 - Dude. - I know. 297 00:26:32,447 --> 00:26:34,282 Dude. 298 00:26:34,449 --> 00:26:35,784 I know. 299 00:26:51,383 --> 00:26:53,468 - Dude, what are we doing here? - Yeah, I know. 300 00:26:53,676 --> 00:26:55,053 Guys, seriously, it's gonna get... 301 00:26:55,178 --> 00:26:56,971 ...broken up, like, any second now, right? 302 00:26:58,848 --> 00:27:00,183 Guys? 303 00:27:12,780 --> 00:27:14,865 - Get the fuck out of here! - Sorry. 304 00:27:27,461 --> 00:27:29,171 Go. 305 00:27:29,964 --> 00:27:32,883 - So, what do you wanna do? - Let's just chill. 306 00:27:33,050 --> 00:27:34,760 Hi, guys. 307 00:27:36,887 --> 00:27:39,849 - Is this your party? - No, it's a friend of mine's. 308 00:27:40,266 --> 00:27:42,476 - I'm Hunter. - Danielle. 309 00:27:42,685 --> 00:27:44,478 This is Matthew. 310 00:27:44,687 --> 00:27:46,981 - Hey, Matt, what's up? - What's up? 311 00:27:47,565 --> 00:27:49,151 Can I get you something to drink? 312 00:27:49,776 --> 00:27:51,069 - Yeah. - Hey, man, what's up? 313 00:27:51,278 --> 00:27:53,071 - Can you come here for a second? - Yeah. 314 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:55,365 No, it's cool. They're pals. 315 00:27:56,283 --> 00:27:57,576 What's up? 316 00:27:57,784 --> 00:28:00,370 Yeah, man, this party's getting kind of full, bro. 317 00:28:00,579 --> 00:28:03,957 - Yeah, so? - So you're gonna have to take off. 318 00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:06,585 - Really? - Yeah. 319 00:28:08,378 --> 00:28:11,173 Okay, but I'm with her. I mean- 320 00:28:11,381 --> 00:28:13,383 Oh, it's cool, dude. She's taken care of. 321 00:28:17,679 --> 00:28:19,389 There's the door. 322 00:28:43,873 --> 00:28:45,666 Yo, man! 323 00:28:45,875 --> 00:28:48,252 When's Samsung getting here? 324 00:28:48,461 --> 00:28:51,089 - Samnang. - Yeah! 325 00:28:51,756 --> 00:28:53,174 I love him. 326 00:28:53,383 --> 00:28:57,553 Dude, I'm gonna do that little guy when he gets here. 327 00:28:57,762 --> 00:28:59,555 Hard. 328 00:29:00,973 --> 00:29:03,184 Cool, dude. I'm sure he'll like that. 329 00:29:03,351 --> 00:29:05,561 Sam Young! 330 00:29:09,482 --> 00:29:11,067 Excuse me. 331 00:29:26,875 --> 00:29:29,753 - Dude. - I know. 332 00:30:08,668 --> 00:30:11,588 - What? - You're coming with me. Right now. 333 00:30:12,964 --> 00:30:15,467 Everybody out. Let's move. 334 00:30:19,554 --> 00:30:24,392 I said out, minions! Move! Move! Faster, you little maggots. 335 00:30:26,853 --> 00:30:29,856 - So how's everything going? - Fine. 336 00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:32,692 Is everything, you know, okay at home? 337 00:30:32,859 --> 00:30:34,653 All right, what? 338 00:30:35,154 --> 00:30:36,989 Perhaps you should have a seat. 339 00:30:37,156 --> 00:30:39,658 Perhaps you should bite me. 340 00:30:40,159 --> 00:30:41,869 Perhaps. 341 00:30:44,872 --> 00:30:46,374 Matthew... 342 00:30:46,582 --> 00:30:49,585 ...we live in a crazy, mixed-up world. 343 00:30:49,794 --> 00:30:53,172 Crazy, but, oh, so beautiful. 344 00:31:11,273 --> 00:31:13,359 Excellent, grasshopper. 345 00:31:13,567 --> 00:31:17,155 And now for the final task of your training. 346 00:31:21,493 --> 00:31:24,371 You're gonna need a harder piece of wood than that, cowboy. 347 00:31:25,789 --> 00:31:28,583 - That's not her. - Yeah, it is. 348 00:31:37,759 --> 00:31:40,387 - Oh, no. - Oh, yeah. 349 00:31:49,855 --> 00:31:52,774 Matt! Matt! Dude, you're missing the best part. 350 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,988 Fuck! Fuck! 351 00:31:59,157 --> 00:32:00,783 Settle down, tiger. I know. I know. 352 00:32:00,992 --> 00:32:03,077 It's not funny. Seriously, get away from me. 353 00:32:03,286 --> 00:32:05,663 - Dude, don't mess this up. - Mess what up? 354 00:32:05,872 --> 00:32:07,457 Matt, she's a porn star, okay? 355 00:32:07,790 --> 00:32:10,460 Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast. 356 00:32:10,793 --> 00:32:12,462 Eli, I like this girl. 357 00:32:12,670 --> 00:32:15,465 And you can still like her with your penis inside her. 358 00:32:16,090 --> 00:32:18,259 I'm telling you, you're gonna regret this. 359 00:32:18,468 --> 00:32:20,678 What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass. 360 00:32:20,887 --> 00:32:22,889 Eli, I'm never gonna see her again. 361 00:32:23,056 --> 00:32:24,265 Oh, you know what? Fine. 362 00:32:24,474 --> 00:32:25,892 - Fine. - Fine! 363 00:32:26,684 --> 00:32:27,894 Goddamn it, Matt. 364 00:32:27,977 --> 00:32:31,064 I swear to God, if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! 365 00:32:31,272 --> 00:32:37,195 Matt, please. Please, Matt. Fuck her for me. For me! 366 00:32:49,166 --> 00:32:51,668 - Oh, Marci, you're so funny. - Oh, thanks. 367 00:32:54,797 --> 00:32:57,257 - I just saw you naked. - What? 368 00:32:57,591 --> 00:32:59,968 Don't worry, honey, you were only 2 days old. 369 00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:02,388 - Let's see what else we have. - Why are you here? 370 00:33:02,596 --> 00:33:03,972 I just came here to say hi. 371 00:33:04,973 --> 00:33:06,558 Hi. 372 00:33:06,767 --> 00:33:08,268 Look at this one of him. 373 00:33:17,069 --> 00:33:18,697 Hey, buddy. 374 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:22,158 - That one's the best. - It is. He looks so adorable. 375 00:33:22,367 --> 00:33:24,494 He looks really- Oh, that's such a good one. 376 00:33:24,661 --> 00:33:27,372 - Here you go, Danielle. - Oh, thanks. 377 00:33:35,296 --> 00:33:37,590 - Thattagirl. - This is a cute one. 378 00:33:37,757 --> 00:33:39,592 Oh, who's your daddy? 379 00:33:40,093 --> 00:33:43,263 So you were going to school in Los Angeles? 380 00:33:43,471 --> 00:33:46,266 For a while. But then I started working on other things. 381 00:33:46,474 --> 00:33:48,685 Oh, what kind of things? 382 00:33:50,895 --> 00:33:52,188 Let me show you. 383 00:34:01,490 --> 00:34:02,783 Jesus! 384 00:34:07,371 --> 00:34:09,790 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I don't know, I... 385 00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:12,084 I don't feel so good. 386 00:34:16,797 --> 00:34:19,258 What can I do to make you feel better? 387 00:34:34,273 --> 00:34:36,067 I think I'm feeling a lot better now. 388 00:34:36,275 --> 00:34:39,278 - We can go out another night. - No, we're going out tonight. 389 00:34:39,779 --> 00:34:42,199 - You sure? - Positive. 390 00:34:46,161 --> 00:34:48,997 - I don't know if I can do this. - Yes, you can. 391 00:34:49,164 --> 00:34:51,958 But tonight, be the man. 392 00:34:52,584 --> 00:34:55,670 First off, act like you don't even like her. 393 00:34:55,879 --> 00:34:58,465 - Hey. - Hey. 394 00:34:58,673 --> 00:35:03,261 Second, get her drunk. Really drunk, okay? 395 00:35:03,595 --> 00:35:06,098 That way the true porn star will come out in her. 396 00:35:09,476 --> 00:35:12,896 Here, I... I got us something. 397 00:35:15,982 --> 00:35:17,984 Bourbon? 398 00:35:18,193 --> 00:35:21,488 - Are you trying to get me drunk? - No, what? 399 00:35:21,697 --> 00:35:25,576 - I thought you like to rock. - "Like to rock?" 400 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,663 Last and most important... 401 00:35:28,996 --> 00:35:31,165 ...always be touching her, Matt. 402 00:35:31,374 --> 00:35:33,960 That tells her you came here to get down tonight. 403 00:35:37,797 --> 00:35:39,799 What are we doing? 404 00:35:40,967 --> 00:35:42,885 Just chilling. 405 00:35:46,973 --> 00:35:48,891 Hey, look. 406 00:35:49,392 --> 00:35:50,685 MOTEL Glen Capri 407 00:35:53,479 --> 00:35:59,193 Maybe we should get a room. 408 00:36:00,194 --> 00:36:01,696 Okay. 409 00:36:08,662 --> 00:36:10,664 Here it is. 410 00:36:29,683 --> 00:36:32,561 This is- This is really nice. 411 00:36:32,978 --> 00:36:34,897 TV. 412 00:36:35,397 --> 00:36:36,774 Air conditioner. 413 00:36:37,691 --> 00:36:39,902 Got a little lamp there. 414 00:36:40,778 --> 00:36:42,863 Is that Monet? 415 00:36:46,868 --> 00:36:48,578 What? 416 00:36:49,079 --> 00:36:52,290 - What are you thinking? - What are you thinking? 417 00:36:55,293 --> 00:36:56,586 I don't know. 418 00:37:06,888 --> 00:37:08,473 Do you wanna fuck me? 419 00:37:16,064 --> 00:37:18,191 Come here. 420 00:37:35,501 --> 00:37:37,086 How do you want me? 421 00:37:38,796 --> 00:37:40,297 Why are you doing this? 422 00:37:41,465 --> 00:37:43,175 What? 423 00:37:43,801 --> 00:37:45,469 This. 424 00:37:47,263 --> 00:37:49,765 Isn't this what you want? 425 00:37:50,182 --> 00:37:53,185 To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel room? 426 00:37:58,190 --> 00:38:00,776 So this is what you think of me. 427 00:38:03,195 --> 00:38:05,197 - Danielle, wait. I'm sorry. - Let me guess. 428 00:38:05,364 --> 00:38:06,992 You saw a tape, and you thought: 429 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:09,494 "What the hell? She does it for a living, right?" 430 00:38:09,703 --> 00:38:12,998 - Eli told me to do it. - Oh, now that's a mature response. 431 00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:16,376 - Why didn't you just tell me? - Because I didn't want to, okay? 432 00:38:19,379 --> 00:38:22,174 Because I loved the way you looked at me. 433 00:38:23,675 --> 00:38:26,970 God, do you have any idea how-? 434 00:38:28,388 --> 00:38:29,890 Forget it. 435 00:38:30,182 --> 00:38:33,602 - Hold on. - Fuck you. 436 00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:49,869 ONLY 9 DAYS LEFT! SAMNANG 437 00:38:54,999 --> 00:38:56,667 You're done. 438 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:04,175 WHY DO I DESERVE THIS SCHOLARSHIP? 439 00:39:20,983 --> 00:39:26,572 Look, I'm an idiot, okay? I saw the tape, and I freaked out. 440 00:39:26,781 --> 00:39:29,576 Hi. I'm coming in. Can I come in? 441 00:39:30,994 --> 00:39:32,996 Look, I've just been crazy lately. 442 00:39:33,205 --> 00:39:36,583 I mean, the whole scholarship thing, you know, I mean... 443 00:39:36,792 --> 00:39:38,377 It's killing me, you know? 444 00:39:38,669 --> 00:39:41,380 But I'm not even thinking about that. 445 00:39:41,672 --> 00:39:45,968 The only thing I care about is you, you know? 446 00:39:46,176 --> 00:39:48,804 All I want is just for us to go back to normal again. 447 00:39:48,971 --> 00:39:52,099 It's a real nice place you got here, D. 448 00:39:53,183 --> 00:39:55,102 I... 449 00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:08,866 Can we... 450 00:40:09,700 --> 00:40:12,370 ...talk about this later? - Yeah. 451 00:40:14,873 --> 00:40:16,291 Sure. 452 00:40:33,183 --> 00:40:34,476 I like that. 453 00:40:35,268 --> 00:40:38,188 - What? - What you said in there. 454 00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:39,981 Thanks. 455 00:40:45,403 --> 00:40:46,780 Kelly. 456 00:40:47,781 --> 00:40:49,407 Matthew. 457 00:40:54,372 --> 00:40:56,707 - So you're friends with D, huh? - Yeah. 458 00:40:57,208 --> 00:41:01,003 Well, we're- We're kind of going out. 459 00:41:03,672 --> 00:41:08,386 Look at you. You are a forest fire. 460 00:41:09,178 --> 00:41:10,805 - Are we going? - Yeah. 461 00:41:11,389 --> 00:41:12,681 You coming with us? 462 00:41:12,890 --> 00:41:15,476 - Where are you going? - Can't. He's got school tomorrow. 463 00:41:15,976 --> 00:41:17,978 No, no, I'm cool. Like, where are we going? 464 00:41:46,091 --> 00:41:48,009 Hey, there. What can I get for you? 465 00:41:48,093 --> 00:41:50,095 We'll get two Scotch rocks and... 466 00:41:50,303 --> 00:41:53,974 Make it three. Actually, I'll have a Long Island iced tea. 467 00:41:57,602 --> 00:41:59,104 So, what grade are you in, man? 468 00:41:59,187 --> 00:42:01,982 I'm a senior. But I'm about to graduate. 469 00:42:02,190 --> 00:42:04,401 Congratulations. What's next? 470 00:42:04,776 --> 00:42:06,194 Georgetown, hopefully. 471 00:42:06,778 --> 00:42:09,281 - Matthew wants to be president. - Really? 472 00:42:09,573 --> 00:42:11,074 - That's great, man. - Yeah. 473 00:42:11,283 --> 00:42:13,285 How do you two know each other? 474 00:42:13,870 --> 00:42:16,289 How do we know each other? 475 00:42:16,873 --> 00:42:20,710 - We used to work together. - So you're, like, an actor? 476 00:42:21,711 --> 00:42:24,297 No. Strictly producer. 477 00:42:24,505 --> 00:42:28,384 But D and I also used to go out. Excuse me a sec. 478 00:42:30,303 --> 00:42:31,596 So you guys went out? 479 00:42:33,890 --> 00:42:35,391 Thank you. 480 00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,602 Look, can we just talk? 481 00:42:38,394 --> 00:42:39,687 Talk. 482 00:42:41,189 --> 00:42:43,274 I don't know if this is really the place. 483 00:42:43,483 --> 00:42:48,071 - Why? What's wrong with it? - No, nothing. It's fine, you know. 484 00:42:48,279 --> 00:42:50,281 It's one of my favorites. 485 00:42:55,204 --> 00:42:57,498 Hey, you got one for me? 486 00:43:06,507 --> 00:43:08,175 - What are you doing? - What? 487 00:43:08,384 --> 00:43:09,885 Here. 488 00:43:11,512 --> 00:43:13,680 And you turn it like so: 489 00:43:20,270 --> 00:43:24,483 - Hey, where are you going? - The bathroom. Is that okay? 490 00:43:24,775 --> 00:43:26,485 Yeah. 491 00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:32,199 So you're really into her, huh? 492 00:43:32,408 --> 00:43:36,496 Hey. I get it, man, believe me. She's gorgeous. 493 00:43:36,996 --> 00:43:39,290 I just think you'd want someone more your age. 494 00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:44,295 - She's my age. - Yeah, I meant experience-wise. 495 00:43:44,504 --> 00:43:46,172 No offense. 496 00:43:47,382 --> 00:43:50,009 Don't worry about it. I'm gonna take care of you. 497 00:43:51,886 --> 00:43:54,305 Oh, my God. That's Mr. Peterson. 498 00:43:54,472 --> 00:43:55,647 That's my dad's friend. 499 00:43:55,682 --> 00:43:57,809 He comes over all the time with his wife. 500 00:43:58,393 --> 00:43:59,602 Really? 501 00:43:59,978 --> 00:44:00,812 Hey, Peterson. 502 00:44:00,895 --> 00:44:04,190 What? Dude, what are you doing, man? 503 00:44:04,399 --> 00:44:06,901 Yeah, you. Get over here. 504 00:44:07,277 --> 00:44:11,406 Goddamn, Peterson, haven't seen your black ass in ages. 505 00:44:11,573 --> 00:44:14,701 - Do I know you? - What the fuck's your problem? 506 00:44:14,993 --> 00:44:18,414 - I... - Just fucking with you, man. 507 00:44:19,206 --> 00:44:22,084 Hey, you know my friend Matty here, right? 508 00:44:26,714 --> 00:44:31,385 - Matthew. Hi. - Peterson, this is Matty's first time. 509 00:44:31,594 --> 00:44:34,597 Why don't you buy him a dance. 510 00:44:40,186 --> 00:44:43,397 So did you hear about that scholarship yet? 511 00:44:45,483 --> 00:44:47,485 No, big dinner's on Thursday. 512 00:44:51,614 --> 00:44:55,785 So, what's it for again? 513 00:44:55,993 --> 00:44:58,079 The scholarship. 514 00:44:59,289 --> 00:45:01,291 It's for... 515 00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:03,585 ...moral fiber. 516 00:45:06,380 --> 00:45:09,299 Me? A Teenage Daddy? 517 00:45:09,508 --> 00:45:12,010 Who is this guy? Is he a porn producer? 518 00:45:12,094 --> 00:45:14,179 Klitz, shut up. Now, the strippers. 519 00:45:14,388 --> 00:45:17,682 When you get a lap dance, were they cool with you grabbing their ass? 520 00:45:17,891 --> 00:45:19,976 Dude. I'm trying to talk about Danielle here. 521 00:45:20,185 --> 00:45:22,813 Fine. Selfish bitch. 522 00:45:22,979 --> 00:45:26,900 For teenagers, sexual intercourse can be dangerous. 523 00:45:27,109 --> 00:45:28,693 Jesus, what hack made this? 524 00:45:28,985 --> 00:45:31,780 I could make a better sex-ed film with my mom. 525 00:45:31,988 --> 00:45:33,782 Why don't they update this thing? 526 00:45:34,074 --> 00:45:36,284 Special events, such as your senior prom... 527 00:45:36,493 --> 00:45:39,580 ...place added pressure on young teens to lose their virginity... 528 00:45:39,914 --> 00:45:42,291 ...and also engage in unprotected sex. 529 00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:44,293 9 months later... 530 00:45:45,878 --> 00:45:47,714 - Hello? - Hey, Bob. 531 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,090 We're all going to the creek tonight. 532 00:45:49,215 --> 00:45:52,093 It's gonna be a gas. You're coming, right? 533 00:45:52,176 --> 00:45:54,303 I can't, guys. 534 00:45:55,304 --> 00:45:58,391 I have a baby now. 535 00:45:59,809 --> 00:46:02,103 Because of prom. 536 00:46:02,478 --> 00:46:04,105 Dude. 537 00:46:05,815 --> 00:46:09,110 - What? - Yeah, right. 538 00:46:09,610 --> 00:46:13,698 - You guys ever thought about it? - No. 539 00:46:15,408 --> 00:46:17,285 I just think you guys would be really hot. 540 00:46:17,577 --> 00:46:19,287 - You girls are 18, right? - I am. 541 00:46:19,495 --> 00:46:21,498 - I will be in a month. - Really? 542 00:46:21,790 --> 00:46:24,084 - You ever been photographed? - A couple of times. 543 00:46:24,293 --> 00:46:26,712 Hey, you guys know Matty? 544 00:46:26,879 --> 00:46:29,798 I hung with him last night. Guy's the tits. 545 00:46:30,299 --> 00:46:32,593 Here's my man. 546 00:46:33,177 --> 00:46:36,180 - How you doing? - What's up, fellas? 547 00:46:39,099 --> 00:46:41,977 Matty, you didn't tell me you got some serious burners... 548 00:46:42,102 --> 00:46:43,187 ...at your school here. 549 00:46:43,395 --> 00:46:45,189 Oh, shut up. You did not say that 550 00:46:45,481 --> 00:46:48,192 Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? 551 00:46:50,194 --> 00:46:52,696 This fucker right here. 552 00:46:54,198 --> 00:46:56,492 - What are you talking about? - Yeah, come on. 553 00:46:56,700 --> 00:46:58,494 Yeah, you have some? 554 00:46:58,702 --> 00:47:00,204 Yeah, come on. 555 00:47:00,579 --> 00:47:03,208 - Holy shit. - You guys should party. 556 00:47:03,416 --> 00:47:05,502 - Can I-? - All right, we're out. 557 00:47:05,794 --> 00:47:07,879 - Hold on a sec. - Where are you guys going? 558 00:47:08,088 --> 00:47:10,215 - We got things to do. - Do you wanna hang out? 559 00:47:10,382 --> 00:47:14,177 - Hop in, fellas. - Aren't you gonna photograph us? 560 00:47:17,097 --> 00:47:18,890 Always leave them wanting more. 561 00:47:19,099 --> 00:47:20,892 Punch it! 562 00:47:36,616 --> 00:47:39,911 Man, there is some talent here. 563 00:47:40,578 --> 00:47:43,499 You get those girls together with those ass-bags there... 564 00:47:43,708 --> 00:47:46,001 ...shoot them humping at, like, a football... 565 00:47:46,085 --> 00:47:48,504 ...game or at a prom, that video would sell. 566 00:47:48,713 --> 00:47:50,715 Fuck, I'm good! 567 00:47:51,006 --> 00:47:55,094 How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? 568 00:47:55,302 --> 00:47:56,804 It's like I can't control it. 569 00:48:00,808 --> 00:48:04,395 So, what are we doing, man? 570 00:48:08,315 --> 00:48:10,609 You know, you really didn't have to come with me. 571 00:48:10,818 --> 00:48:14,488 It's cool. I like running errands. 572 00:48:15,781 --> 00:48:19,118 So you raised 25 G's just to bring this Chinese guy over. 573 00:48:19,285 --> 00:48:21,495 No, he's Cambodian. 574 00:48:21,787 --> 00:48:25,292 Okay, so that's 25,000 total deposited... 575 00:48:25,500 --> 00:48:28,086 ...into the Operation Get Samnang account. 576 00:48:28,503 --> 00:48:30,797 Hey, so you raised all the money you needed. 577 00:48:31,006 --> 00:48:32,591 - Congratulations. - Thanks. 578 00:48:32,799 --> 00:48:35,010 So is this Samnang really as smart as they say? 579 00:48:35,218 --> 00:48:38,013 Well, he did teach himself calculus without even using... 580 00:48:38,096 --> 00:48:39,598 ...his textbooks, so... 581 00:48:39,806 --> 00:48:43,685 Those crazy little fuckers, man. They sure know their numbers. 582 00:48:46,313 --> 00:48:49,900 Jeannie, this is my- This is my student advisor. 583 00:48:51,068 --> 00:48:52,868 Oh, you're Mr. Salinger? 584 00:48:52,903 --> 00:48:56,281 Just here to make sure everything's up to par. Wow. 585 00:48:56,615 --> 00:48:59,493 - What? - I love those earrings. 586 00:48:59,701 --> 00:48:59,993 Oh, thank you. 587 00:48:59,998 --> 00:49:02,700 They really complement your coloring. 588 00:49:02,704 --> 00:49:04,581 Thanks. I just got back from Cabo. 589 00:49:04,915 --> 00:49:06,292 - Did you? - Yeah. 590 00:49:06,501 --> 00:49:09,295 Okay, well, we gotta go. Thanks, Jeannie. 591 00:49:10,588 --> 00:49:12,715 Man, what were you doing-? 592 00:49:12,882 --> 00:49:15,009 There's a bar, you sit with the people. 593 00:49:15,093 --> 00:49:16,010 You have been there. 594 00:49:16,219 --> 00:49:18,304 - See? I knew it. - No, no. 595 00:49:18,513 --> 00:49:21,599 - This guy is unbelievable. - You. 596 00:49:30,983 --> 00:49:33,611 - Where you guys going? - Vegas, baby. 597 00:49:33,903 --> 00:49:38,783 We got the convention. Gotta press the flesh, meet the fans. 598 00:49:38,991 --> 00:49:41,911 So that's it? You're just going back? 599 00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:44,080 I don't belong here. 600 00:49:44,288 --> 00:49:47,918 What do you-? What do you mean? What about starting over? 601 00:49:48,502 --> 00:49:49,920 This is what I am. 602 00:49:53,507 --> 00:49:56,301 All right, D, let's roll. 603 00:50:14,194 --> 00:50:17,781 - Dude, it's not your fault. - No, it is my fault. 604 00:50:18,282 --> 00:50:21,410 If I hadn't been such a dick and taken her to that motel room... 605 00:50:21,618 --> 00:50:23,996 Yeah, it was a little forward, don't you think? 606 00:50:25,122 --> 00:50:26,582 - Dude. - What? 607 00:50:26,915 --> 00:50:29,502 Matt, the point is, she made her decision. 608 00:50:30,003 --> 00:50:32,422 There's nothing you can do about it now. 609 00:50:37,594 --> 00:50:39,095 Yeah, there is. 610 00:50:46,519 --> 00:50:47,812 - Hey, Dad? - Don't wait up. 611 00:50:48,021 --> 00:50:50,315 - I'll be late tonight. - I'll watch it tomorrow. 612 00:50:50,482 --> 00:50:53,693 - Shark Week is all week long. - God, I just wanna bang hot chicks. 613 00:51:05,914 --> 00:51:12,004 LAS VEGAS WELCOMES THE ADULT FILM CONVENTION 614 00:51:41,992 --> 00:51:44,787 - Move it. - Sorry. 615 00:51:45,788 --> 00:51:46,997 Big smile. 616 00:51:49,208 --> 00:51:51,086 - Sasha! - Sasha! 617 00:51:57,718 --> 00:52:00,721 - Yo, man, no press. - No, no. No, I'm not press. 618 00:52:01,096 --> 00:52:02,597 I'm still in high school, okay? 619 00:52:02,723 --> 00:52:04,599 This is for my high school video yearbook. 620 00:52:04,808 --> 00:52:06,101 I swear to God. 621 00:52:09,688 --> 00:52:11,106 That's right, bitch. 622 00:52:17,487 --> 00:52:18,989 Jesus, is that her? 623 00:52:19,322 --> 00:52:20,490 Athena. 624 00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:43,014 Give me a second, guys. 625 00:52:43,306 --> 00:52:44,891 - Athena! - Athena! 626 00:52:45,099 --> 00:52:47,393 - Danielle. - Athena! Athena! 627 00:52:47,602 --> 00:52:49,687 - Danielle. - Come on! Athena, right here! 628 00:52:49,896 --> 00:52:53,316 - Work it, Athena. - You are so hot, Athena. 629 00:52:56,110 --> 00:53:00,406 - Look, I'm sorry. I had to come. - Asshole, I'm next. 630 00:53:01,324 --> 00:53:04,118 - I feel like this is all my fault. - Who is this guy? 631 00:53:04,994 --> 00:53:08,915 - Will you at least look at me? - Bend over. 632 00:53:09,123 --> 00:53:11,626 You're the best thing that ever happened to me, okay? 633 00:53:11,793 --> 00:53:13,712 - Me too! - Oh, Danielle. 634 00:53:13,921 --> 00:53:15,798 He's so sweet. 635 00:53:19,301 --> 00:53:20,803 Danielle. 636 00:53:21,095 --> 00:53:23,514 Nice job, dickwad. 637 00:53:23,806 --> 00:53:26,392 - Danielle. - Hey, man, get me out of this thing. 638 00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,227 - Take me with you, dude. - Danielle. 639 00:53:28,519 --> 00:53:31,021 Just leave me alone, please. 640 00:53:31,397 --> 00:53:33,399 Danielle. 641 00:53:34,900 --> 00:53:38,320 - Danielle, Danielle. - Hugo, hi. 642 00:53:38,487 --> 00:53:40,989 Look at you. You look fantastic. 643 00:53:44,118 --> 00:53:46,412 Just starting out, and everyone knows your name. 644 00:53:46,620 --> 00:53:48,122 No, they don't. 645 00:53:48,288 --> 00:53:50,708 - So how's Kelly treating you? - Okay. 646 00:53:50,916 --> 00:53:52,918 Just okay? 647 00:53:53,127 --> 00:53:55,296 Danielle, what do we know? 648 00:53:56,089 --> 00:53:59,926 What do we know? We know that you should be with me. 649 00:54:00,093 --> 00:54:04,097 At the top. Where the air is crisp. 650 00:54:04,305 --> 00:54:06,307 - Nice tan. - Kelly. 651 00:54:06,516 --> 00:54:09,394 - What do we say? - Fuck you. 652 00:54:10,812 --> 00:54:12,689 Always with the big words. 653 00:54:12,897 --> 00:54:16,609 Danielle, where the air is crisp. 654 00:54:18,528 --> 00:54:21,614 - What does that mean? - Nothing. He's just being Hugo. 655 00:54:22,198 --> 00:54:24,909 Matty. What are you doing here? 656 00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:30,206 Look, Kelly, no offense, but I really don't think Danielle... 657 00:54:30,415 --> 00:54:31,791 ...wants to be here right now. 658 00:54:36,505 --> 00:54:39,925 Matthew, please just go home, okay? 659 00:54:41,927 --> 00:54:43,721 Hey, D. 660 00:54:45,222 --> 00:54:48,726 I'm sorry, man. Come on. Let's get out of here. 661 00:54:52,897 --> 00:54:54,523 What's up? 662 00:54:55,608 --> 00:54:57,526 It's not cute anymore. 663 00:54:57,693 --> 00:54:59,904 - What? - Stop filling her head with that- 664 00:55:00,112 --> 00:55:03,616 - Do not piss me off. - Hey, I thought we were friends. 665 00:55:05,117 --> 00:55:07,203 Friends don't fuck with each other's business. 666 00:55:07,411 --> 00:55:10,289 And that's what this is, my fucking business. 667 00:55:13,417 --> 00:55:14,794 What? 668 00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:18,090 What are you gonna do? 669 00:55:21,510 --> 00:55:26,390 Yeah, that's what I thought. Stay the fuck away from her. 670 00:55:30,310 --> 00:55:33,021 Matt, seriously, man, it's 2:00 in the morning. 671 00:55:33,230 --> 00:55:36,691 What about your thing tomorrow? Okay, the scholarship dinner? 672 00:55:37,317 --> 00:55:40,028 Sorry, I gotta do this. 673 00:55:45,617 --> 00:55:49,121 Oh, by the way, if things get bad, just bolt, okay? 674 00:55:49,329 --> 00:55:51,289 What? What do you mean, "if things get bad"? 675 00:55:51,498 --> 00:55:52,791 Just bolt. 676 00:55:53,625 --> 00:55:54,418 Wait, what's he talking about? 677 00:55:58,715 --> 00:56:01,008 You wanna get me a drink? No, I'm just kidding. 678 00:56:13,312 --> 00:56:14,605 Hi. 679 00:56:20,319 --> 00:56:21,696 Dude... 680 00:56:21,904 --> 00:56:23,531 ...am I ugly? 681 00:56:23,906 --> 00:56:28,327 What? No. No, man, you're fine. Just relax. 682 00:56:28,494 --> 00:56:30,329 No, I'm ugly. I know it. 683 00:56:32,498 --> 00:56:36,127 - So, what do you guys do? - I get freaky. 684 00:56:38,797 --> 00:56:41,425 - We're directors. - Really? 685 00:56:41,717 --> 00:56:44,720 Would you guys ever wanna use me in one of your movies? 686 00:56:46,096 --> 00:56:47,723 Hell, yeah, we'll use you. 687 00:56:47,931 --> 00:56:51,894 Baby, I'll do things to you I wouldn't do to a farm animal. 688 00:56:52,227 --> 00:56:55,898 - What the fuck did you just say? - Honey. These guys are directors. 689 00:56:56,106 --> 00:56:58,817 - And they wanna use me. - Use you? 690 00:56:59,026 --> 00:57:01,820 Guys, this is my boyfriend, Mule. 691 00:57:04,907 --> 00:57:06,325 Hi, Mule. 692 00:57:10,496 --> 00:57:11,914 Let's do it. 693 00:57:12,998 --> 00:57:16,293 Man, you gotta use my girl, bro. She's so good. 694 00:57:16,502 --> 00:57:18,212 I am. I really am. 695 00:57:18,712 --> 00:57:22,008 - You wanna give her a throw? - Yeah, try me out. 696 00:57:22,926 --> 00:57:25,011 No, you know, no, I'm okay, though, thank you. 697 00:57:25,303 --> 00:57:27,806 Well, come on. At least feel her tits. 698 00:57:28,932 --> 00:57:31,226 I'm okay. I can't. Thank you, though. 699 00:57:31,893 --> 00:57:34,813 Fuck it. I'll feel one. 700 00:57:45,907 --> 00:57:47,409 We're all set for tomorrow. 701 00:57:47,492 --> 00:57:51,413 Athena will be there, ready to shoot. Right, babe? 702 00:57:52,497 --> 00:57:56,710 Not bad, huh? Suckers cost me 6 grand. 703 00:57:56,918 --> 00:58:00,422 Yo, Mule, what the hell are you doing? 704 00:58:00,923 --> 00:58:05,594 Steel, check it out, man. These guys are directors. 705 00:58:05,928 --> 00:58:07,221 Man, these punks ain't directors. 706 00:58:07,304 --> 00:58:10,224 They're in high school, you idiot. 707 00:58:12,309 --> 00:58:14,395 Okay, here's the thing- 708 00:58:22,111 --> 00:58:24,405 Oh, shit! 709 00:58:27,324 --> 00:58:29,118 - Come on, Klitz, come on. - Get off. 710 00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:40,921 Matty, time to go, time to go. Time to go. 711 00:58:41,130 --> 00:58:43,216 - What happened? - It got bad. Bolt. Bolt! 712 00:58:43,633 --> 00:58:45,719 - Dude, wait up. - Fuck you, dude! 713 00:58:53,310 --> 00:58:54,311 Excuse me. 714 00:58:54,394 --> 00:58:57,606 I just wanna let you know, I know who you really are. 715 00:59:00,233 --> 00:59:02,903 And you're better than this. 716 00:59:40,024 --> 00:59:41,901 IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM... 717 00:59:43,027 --> 00:59:45,029 Yeah? 718 00:59:52,328 --> 00:59:53,704 Need a ride to school? 719 00:59:58,126 --> 01:00:01,796 It's all you now. I mean, now you can do whatever you want. 720 01:00:03,005 --> 01:00:04,800 Why do you believe in me so much? 721 01:00:05,718 --> 01:00:07,720 I don't know. Maybe I'm stupid. 722 01:00:12,516 --> 01:00:16,228 - Good luck tonight. - Thanks. 723 01:00:17,229 --> 01:00:19,606 - Bye. - Bye. 724 01:00:35,414 --> 01:00:36,999 Will you go to prom with me? 725 01:00:39,626 --> 01:00:41,128 What? 726 01:00:46,509 --> 01:00:48,803 I would love to. 727 01:00:52,223 --> 01:00:55,518 Now for the scientific explanation. Anybody? 728 01:00:55,727 --> 01:00:57,520 JOHN F. KENNEDY once said: ASK NOT... 729 01:00:59,898 --> 01:01:02,108 That's your speech? 730 01:01:02,901 --> 01:01:04,611 Yeah. 731 01:01:05,111 --> 01:01:07,197 You ready for tonight? 732 01:01:08,406 --> 01:01:10,617 Hey, don't worry, man. You're gonna be great. 733 01:01:11,117 --> 01:01:12,911 I have to be. 734 01:01:25,298 --> 01:01:27,134 That bitch can't just run away because... 735 01:01:27,218 --> 01:01:29,011 ...she don't wanna fuck on film anymore. 736 01:01:29,220 --> 01:01:30,930 May I help you? 737 01:01:32,807 --> 01:01:35,309 - Get up. - Okay, okay. 738 01:01:43,818 --> 01:01:46,028 Stay in school. 739 01:01:49,698 --> 01:01:52,535 Look, I have the most important dinner of my life tonight... 740 01:01:52,701 --> 01:01:54,203 ...so wherever we're going, you know... 741 01:01:54,328 --> 01:01:56,205 ...we just have to be home by 6. 742 01:01:56,414 --> 01:01:58,624 Just so you know. 743 01:02:00,418 --> 01:02:02,837 Here he comes. 744 01:02:04,839 --> 01:02:07,425 - It's a cool ride, huh? - Yeah, if you're a fag. 745 01:02:07,634 --> 01:02:10,721 - Jesus! - It's cool, it's cool. 746 01:02:11,304 --> 01:02:12,723 Get in. 747 01:02:24,901 --> 01:02:27,738 - Where are we going? - I thought you were cool, man. 748 01:02:27,904 --> 01:02:30,031 I tried to be your friend, and what do you do? 749 01:02:30,198 --> 01:02:31,908 - You fuck me. - I didn't fuck you. 750 01:02:32,117 --> 01:02:34,619 She didn't show up on set because of what you said. 751 01:02:34,828 --> 01:02:36,329 Now I'm out 30 grand. 752 01:02:37,706 --> 01:02:41,626 - Guess who's paying me back. - What? I don't have 30 grand. 753 01:02:41,835 --> 01:02:44,629 - Get your folks to help. - They don't have that kind of money. 754 01:02:44,838 --> 01:02:50,636 Look, Kelly, I'm a problem solver, all right? This is what I do. Okay? 755 01:02:50,803 --> 01:02:54,932 Let's just- Let's just think outside of the box here. 756 01:02:55,433 --> 01:02:57,602 Look, she'll get a job, I'll keep mowing... 757 01:02:57,727 --> 01:03:00,313 ...lawns, and over time we'll pay it down. 758 01:03:00,521 --> 01:03:03,232 You know? This can work. We can do this. 759 01:03:03,441 --> 01:03:05,818 It'll be like a payment plan. 760 01:03:13,409 --> 01:03:16,329 - You really care about her, huh? - Yeah, I really do. 761 01:03:16,537 --> 01:03:20,041 Yeah, I don't know. If I'm gonna do this payment-plan thing... 762 01:03:20,208 --> 01:03:22,502 ...I need a show of good faith, you know? 763 01:03:22,710 --> 01:03:26,214 - Something concrete. - Well, like what? 764 01:03:28,424 --> 01:03:29,717 A blowjob. 765 01:03:32,012 --> 01:03:34,306 No. I told you she's not gonna do that anymore. 766 01:03:35,224 --> 01:03:37,226 Who said anything about her? 767 01:03:40,938 --> 01:03:44,942 Yeah, we're definitely outside the box now, huh? 768 01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:50,239 Now, you gotta ask yourself, how far are you willing to go? 769 01:03:52,533 --> 01:03:55,119 How much do you really care about her? 770 01:04:00,332 --> 01:04:01,917 I'm joking, man. 771 01:04:04,628 --> 01:04:05,921 Relax. 772 01:04:07,631 --> 01:04:10,509 - Damn. Do I look gay to you? - No, but, Jesus- 773 01:04:18,810 --> 01:04:19,936 You wanna be president? 774 01:04:20,019 --> 01:04:22,439 Let me tell you the first rule of politics: 775 01:04:22,605 --> 01:04:26,901 Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. 776 01:04:27,110 --> 01:04:30,113 You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl... 777 01:04:30,321 --> 01:04:32,741 ...unless you're ready to accept the consequences. 778 01:04:38,538 --> 01:04:40,707 All right, I'm sorry, okay? 779 01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:46,629 That's gonna swell up like a bitch. Here, take this. 780 01:04:50,925 --> 01:04:53,304 I'm telling you, it's gonna hurt like shit. 781 01:04:59,518 --> 01:05:05,524 I'm sorry I got upset. I felt taken advantage of. 782 01:05:06,025 --> 01:05:09,528 Look, I'm not gonna be a dick. I know she loves you. 783 01:05:09,820 --> 01:05:12,031 I'm gonna leave you guys alone. 784 01:05:12,114 --> 01:05:14,325 But now you're doing something for me. 785 01:05:24,919 --> 01:05:27,505 Remember that ass-bag, Hugo, from the convention? 786 01:05:27,838 --> 01:05:30,007 We used to be partners a long time ago. 787 01:05:30,341 --> 01:05:33,219 One day, I had this killer idea to make films set... 788 01:05:33,344 --> 01:05:34,221 ...in real-life situations. 789 01:05:34,513 --> 01:05:37,516 You know, Real World porn. 790 01:05:37,808 --> 01:05:40,727 I told the idea to Hugo. He says he'll think about it. 791 01:05:40,936 --> 01:05:42,938 And what does that motherfucker do? 792 01:05:43,230 --> 01:05:46,733 Takes my best girl, starts his own company with my idea... 793 01:05:46,942 --> 01:05:49,319 ...and the guy makes millions. 794 01:05:49,528 --> 01:05:50,737 It's not the money that pisses me off. 795 01:05:50,821 --> 01:05:53,031 I mean, fuck, it does piss me off... 796 01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:55,242 ...but that's not it. It's the perception. 797 01:05:55,409 --> 01:05:58,245 Everybody thinks Hugo's the genius. It was my idea. 798 01:05:58,412 --> 01:06:02,207 It's like he's Simon, and I'm Garfunkel. 799 01:06:03,041 --> 01:06:07,337 Look at me, man. I'm fucking Garfunkel. 800 01:06:10,340 --> 01:06:15,430 - Look, seriously, I can't do this. - Don't be a pussy. Nobody's home. 801 01:06:20,435 --> 01:06:23,813 - Why do you want this thing so bad? - Because it should've been mine. 802 01:06:24,105 --> 01:06:26,441 - I'll grab it and leave. - You don't understand... 803 01:06:26,607 --> 01:06:28,526 ...I have to be at a dinner in an hour. 804 01:06:28,609 --> 01:06:30,528 My whole life depends on it. 805 01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:32,405 You want me out of Danielle's life? 806 01:06:32,530 --> 01:06:33,823 Yes, I do. 807 01:06:34,031 --> 01:06:36,534 - Then let's go. - But wait, seriously. 808 01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:38,828 Sometimes, if you wanna do something good... 809 01:06:39,036 --> 01:06:40,913 ...you gotta do something bad. 810 01:06:41,038 --> 01:06:43,416 Yeah, but this is breaking and entering. 811 01:06:43,624 --> 01:06:46,043 This is politics. 812 01:06:50,423 --> 01:06:51,841 Hey. 813 01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:54,844 After this, we're cool, okay? 814 01:06:57,014 --> 01:06:59,433 You're all right, man. 815 01:07:27,211 --> 01:07:28,921 Yes. 816 01:07:29,213 --> 01:07:30,923 I'd like to report a robbery. 817 01:07:40,308 --> 01:07:42,519 AVN BEST PICTURE 1999 "CHITTY CHITTY GANG BANG" 818 01:07:42,727 --> 01:07:44,020 HUGO POSH PRODUCER 819 01:07:45,021 --> 01:07:47,440 Bang me. 820 01:07:49,442 --> 01:07:51,111 Cradle the balls. 821 01:08:03,706 --> 01:08:06,334 Stop! Stop! Help me! 822 01:08:06,543 --> 01:08:09,129 Help! Oh, fuck! 823 01:08:13,716 --> 01:08:15,427 Wait! 824 01:08:15,635 --> 01:08:17,011 Come on! 825 01:08:36,031 --> 01:08:38,033 Okay, so what time does the dinner start? 826 01:08:38,242 --> 01:08:39,535 Six o'clock. 827 01:08:39,744 --> 01:08:42,621 - Why? What time is it now? - 6:30. 828 01:08:42,913 --> 01:08:45,207 - Oh, my God. - Dude, don't worry, all right? 829 01:08:45,416 --> 01:08:47,710 We'll get there. You know what? Try and- 830 01:08:47,918 --> 01:08:51,714 - Dude, what are you doing? - I don't know. I just... 831 01:08:52,715 --> 01:08:54,633 ...feel so good. 832 01:09:03,435 --> 01:09:05,437 Oh, my God. 833 01:09:07,022 --> 01:09:09,149 I just feel so weird. 834 01:09:09,316 --> 01:09:11,610 Don't worry. Ecstasy is not that bad. 835 01:09:11,943 --> 01:09:14,821 - What? - Kelly likes dosing people with E. 836 01:09:15,947 --> 01:09:18,450 Oh, my God. Am I gonna die? 837 01:09:18,617 --> 01:09:22,621 No, no, no. It's okay, Matt. You're gonna be fine. I promise. 838 01:09:22,913 --> 01:09:26,541 You're such a good friend, Klitzy. I love you. 839 01:09:26,833 --> 01:09:28,919 I love you so much. 840 01:09:30,337 --> 01:09:32,214 This is gonna be amazing. 841 01:09:33,632 --> 01:09:35,509 Wait a second. 842 01:09:35,717 --> 01:09:37,636 Oh, my God. 843 01:09:37,844 --> 01:09:39,846 WELCOME TO THE SHERIDAN SCHOLARSHIP BANQUET 844 01:09:42,350 --> 01:09:44,936 You don't understand. It's really kicking in right now. 845 01:09:45,144 --> 01:09:47,313 Just try not to talk so much, okay? 846 01:09:47,438 --> 01:09:49,315 Talk so much? I'm giving a speech. 847 01:09:49,524 --> 01:09:51,651 - It's okay. Just go with it. - Wait, wait. 848 01:09:51,818 --> 01:09:52,735 In a few minutes, we'll begin the speeches, and we hope... 849 01:10:02,912 --> 01:10:04,622 Thank you again for coming to what... 850 01:10:04,747 --> 01:10:07,625 ...promises to be a very eventful evening. 851 01:10:10,211 --> 01:10:11,838 Matthew Kidman? 852 01:10:16,134 --> 01:10:17,427 My competition. 853 01:10:17,635 --> 01:10:20,930 - Hey, what's up, Ryan? - Jesus, what happened to you? 854 01:10:21,139 --> 01:10:23,642 Just living life, my man. 855 01:10:23,851 --> 01:10:25,811 Mina, how are you? 856 01:10:26,019 --> 01:10:27,938 Okay. Just a little nervous. 857 01:10:28,147 --> 01:10:30,441 But you're a little temptress, though, aren't you? 858 01:10:37,823 --> 01:10:39,533 Hey, buddy. How you doing? 859 01:10:39,742 --> 01:10:42,745 Hey. Thanks a lot, thanks a lot. 860 01:11:06,936 --> 01:11:09,314 Hey, there's the big daddy. 861 01:11:09,522 --> 01:11:12,150 Matthew, what has been going on with you? 862 01:11:12,317 --> 01:11:14,027 Some serious shit. 863 01:11:14,319 --> 01:11:17,113 But, Jesus, man, it's good to see you. 864 01:11:17,447 --> 01:11:19,741 Will you excuse us, please? 865 01:11:21,451 --> 01:11:22,744 Oh, my God. Am I blowing it? 866 01:11:22,952 --> 01:11:24,746 Just try and control yourself. 867 01:11:24,913 --> 01:11:28,249 - Just breathe, okay? - All right. 868 01:11:33,129 --> 01:11:35,632 I have learned a lot from my teachers. 869 01:11:36,716 --> 01:11:40,136 But my best teacher has always been my mother... 870 01:11:40,345 --> 01:11:43,014 ...a woman who worked three jobs trying to support me... 871 01:11:43,223 --> 01:11:45,351 ...ever since I was a little ni�a. 872 01:11:45,643 --> 01:11:48,521 I will never forget the day she said to me: 873 01:11:51,816 --> 01:11:54,527 And that is why I have always tried to answer the call... 874 01:11:54,735 --> 01:11:56,445 ...of the great John F. Kennedy... 875 01:11:56,654 --> 01:12:00,241 ...who urged us to "Ask not what your country"- 876 01:12:09,834 --> 01:12:11,752 Let's see here... 877 01:12:11,919 --> 01:12:14,130 I can't speak a foreign language... 878 01:12:14,338 --> 01:12:15,631 ...so that's out. 879 01:12:15,923 --> 01:12:19,718 And I- I certainly can't quote J.F.K. Now... 880 01:12:19,927 --> 01:12:22,430 ...can I, Ryan? You know what? 881 01:12:22,721 --> 01:12:25,726 It's funny, I have this whole speech prepared... 882 01:12:25,934 --> 01:12:28,437 ...and I've been practicing for weeks... 883 01:12:28,729 --> 01:12:30,522 ...but you know what? 884 01:12:30,731 --> 01:12:32,232 I'm just gonna go with it. 885 01:12:35,318 --> 01:12:37,946 Moral fiber. 886 01:12:38,155 --> 01:12:40,741 So, what is moral fiber? I mean... 887 01:12:40,949 --> 01:12:44,327 It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth... 888 01:12:44,536 --> 01:12:46,121 ...doing good deeds. 889 01:12:46,329 --> 01:12:48,749 You know, basically being a fucking Boy Scout. 890 01:12:50,625 --> 01:12:52,919 But lately, I've been seeing it differently. 891 01:12:54,421 --> 01:12:56,339 Now I think that moral fiber's about... 892 01:12:56,548 --> 01:12:58,842 ...finding that one thing you really care about. 893 01:13:00,051 --> 01:13:01,553 That one special thing that means more... 894 01:13:01,636 --> 01:13:04,014 ...to you than anything else in the world. 895 01:13:05,849 --> 01:13:07,143 And when you find her... 896 01:13:08,436 --> 01:13:11,647 ...you fight for her. You risk it all. 897 01:13:12,196 --> 01:13:12,196 ...your future, your life... 898 01:13:12,231 --> 01:13:16,027 You put her in front of everything... 899 01:13:16,235 --> 01:13:17,820 ...all of it. 900 01:13:18,738 --> 01:13:22,450 And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. 901 01:13:23,117 --> 01:13:24,827 You know what? It doesn't matter. 902 01:13:27,121 --> 01:13:29,248 Because in your heart you know... 903 01:13:30,124 --> 01:13:32,126 ...that the juice is worth the squeeze. 904 01:13:34,754 --> 01:13:37,048 That's what moral fiber's all about. 905 01:14:00,739 --> 01:14:03,534 First, I'd just like to commend the candidates on... 906 01:14:03,617 --> 01:14:05,828 ...their impressive remarks. 907 01:14:06,954 --> 01:14:10,124 This year was a very tough decision. 908 01:14:10,541 --> 01:14:14,837 And as much as we'd love to give you all scholarships, we can't. 909 01:14:15,254 --> 01:14:18,549 And so I am proud to announce the winner... 910 01:14:18,715 --> 01:14:20,843 ...of this year's Sheridan scholarship: 911 01:14:26,223 --> 01:14:28,935 Ryan Winger. 912 01:15:09,726 --> 01:15:11,520 Oh, God, what happened? 913 01:15:12,646 --> 01:15:14,356 Yeah, I slipped. 914 01:15:14,523 --> 01:15:17,151 Listen, Jeannie, Samnang's coming on Monday. 915 01:15:17,318 --> 01:15:19,737 - I know. How exciting. - Yeah. 916 01:15:19,945 --> 01:15:21,947 So I'm gonna need to close out the account. 917 01:15:22,156 --> 01:15:23,741 What do you mean? 918 01:15:23,949 --> 01:15:26,452 I mean I'm gonna need to close out the account. 919 01:15:26,619 --> 01:15:29,455 - But it's already closed. - What are you talking about? 920 01:15:29,747 --> 01:15:32,625 Your teacher came by yesterday and cleared out the account. 921 01:15:32,833 --> 01:15:34,126 Who? What- What teacher? 922 01:15:34,418 --> 01:15:36,045 Your student advisor. Mr. Salinger. 923 01:15:36,128 --> 01:15:38,047 The one you were with the other day. 924 01:15:38,339 --> 01:15:41,634 Mr. Salinger? What are you-? 925 01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,730 Cambodia 926 01:15:54,022 --> 01:15:56,525 Samnang, what's wrong, my son? 927 01:15:56,942 --> 01:15:59,027 That Matthew Kidman. 928 01:15:59,236 --> 01:16:04,324 He fucked me, Mom. He fucked me so bad. 929 01:16:04,533 --> 01:16:06,159 Son of a bitch. 930 01:16:09,454 --> 01:16:10,747 Oh, my God. 931 01:16:11,248 --> 01:16:12,833 - What's wrong? - Jeannie... 932 01:16:13,834 --> 01:16:15,544 ...didn't you ask for ID or anything? 933 01:16:16,628 --> 01:16:19,548 You said he was your student advisor. 934 01:16:19,631 --> 01:16:20,924 Oh, my God. 935 01:16:23,260 --> 01:16:25,554 - Jeannie, where are you going? - To get the manager. 936 01:16:25,846 --> 01:16:27,347 No, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. 937 01:16:28,348 --> 01:16:29,641 Matthew, what's going on? 938 01:16:30,142 --> 01:16:31,852 Look... 939 01:16:32,645 --> 01:16:34,731 ...that guy wasn't my student advisor. 940 01:16:36,023 --> 01:16:39,026 No, I know, I know. I can get the money back. 941 01:16:39,235 --> 01:16:42,947 We just need to keep this between me and you for now, okay? 942 01:16:43,531 --> 01:16:46,743 That's a great blouse, by the way. Have you lost weight? 943 01:16:47,034 --> 01:16:48,828 No? No, wait, wait. 944 01:16:50,037 --> 01:16:51,247 Jeannie. 945 01:16:52,832 --> 01:16:55,752 You think about this. This is your fault too. Right? 946 01:16:56,043 --> 01:16:58,546 You didn't ask for ID. You didn't do anything. 947 01:16:58,755 --> 01:17:00,757 And I saw you flirting with him too... 948 01:17:00,840 --> 01:17:01,924 ...all right? So unprofessional. 949 01:17:02,133 --> 01:17:04,051 You'll lose your job over this. 950 01:17:04,135 --> 01:17:05,428 Don't threaten me, you little shit. 951 01:17:05,636 --> 01:17:07,555 I could give a fuck about you and your rice boy. 952 01:17:07,638 --> 01:17:09,056 I'm not getting fired. 953 01:17:09,223 --> 01:17:12,143 Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Just- Please, I... 954 01:17:12,351 --> 01:17:14,521 Just- No one can ever find out about this. 955 01:17:14,730 --> 01:17:17,524 If this gets out, I'll be expelled. My life will be over. 956 01:17:17,733 --> 01:17:19,526 If that money isn't back by Monday... 957 01:17:19,651 --> 01:17:21,653 ...I wouldn't worry about being expelled. 958 01:17:21,862 --> 01:17:23,447 I'd worry about going to jail. 959 01:17:25,741 --> 01:17:27,242 - Jeannie... - Hi, Jeannie. 960 01:17:27,451 --> 01:17:29,244 Hi, Martin. 961 01:17:38,921 --> 01:17:40,255 BANK MANAGER 962 01:17:57,732 --> 01:17:59,734 Matthew, what's wrong? 963 01:18:00,026 --> 01:18:03,655 Matt, is there something you want to talk about? 964 01:18:04,239 --> 01:18:06,950 Matthew, honey, what is it? 965 01:18:13,832 --> 01:18:16,960 - Hi. - Come here. 966 01:18:24,342 --> 01:18:26,553 I'm in so much trouble. 967 01:18:39,233 --> 01:18:42,361 I can't believe we're even thinking about this. 968 01:18:45,322 --> 01:18:48,159 Well, if you need that kind of money by Monday... 969 01:18:48,951 --> 01:18:50,453 Yeah- What are we doing? 970 01:18:50,536 --> 01:18:52,329 I mean, I can't get you involved in this. 971 01:18:52,663 --> 01:18:54,457 I want to do it. 972 01:18:54,832 --> 01:18:56,459 Why? 973 01:18:58,461 --> 01:19:00,463 Moral fiber. 974 01:19:02,548 --> 01:19:03,048 I'm in. 975 01:19:03,132 --> 01:19:04,925 You haven't heard the whole plan yet. 976 01:19:05,134 --> 01:19:06,427 Doesn't matter. 977 01:19:06,635 --> 01:19:08,554 Fuck film school. 978 01:19:08,763 --> 01:19:12,349 This is gonna be huge. This is gonna be my calling card. 979 01:19:13,934 --> 01:19:15,853 - No. - Klitzy... 980 01:19:16,061 --> 01:19:17,856 - No way. - Klitz... 981 01:19:18,064 --> 01:19:20,942 ...you know I wouldn't ask for this unless I really needed it. 982 01:19:21,234 --> 01:19:23,653 Matt believe me, I want to help you, but- No. 983 01:19:23,862 --> 01:19:25,947 - We'll get expelled and- - Klitz, shut up. 984 01:19:26,156 --> 01:19:28,450 Do me a favor, okay? 985 01:19:28,658 --> 01:19:32,162 Take a look at us, okay? Take a good look at us. 986 01:19:32,954 --> 01:19:35,248 Do you know what we are, the three of us? 987 01:19:38,126 --> 01:19:42,339 - What? - We're a fucking tripod. 988 01:19:42,547 --> 01:19:44,758 - A tripod? - Yeah. 989 01:19:44,925 --> 01:19:46,760 And you know what that means? 990 01:19:46,927 --> 01:19:50,639 That means that if you kick out one of our legs, then we all fall. 991 01:19:52,724 --> 01:19:54,226 Come on, baby. 992 01:19:59,148 --> 01:20:00,942 Fuck. 993 01:20:02,735 --> 01:20:04,654 I know it was you, Klitzy. 994 01:20:07,740 --> 01:20:10,243 - Where is she? - Oh, there they are. Hey. 995 01:20:12,453 --> 01:20:14,247 - Hey! - Hi, Danielle. 996 01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:17,959 Hi. 997 01:20:18,126 --> 01:20:19,961 - Hey, let's get our luggage! - Yeah. 998 01:20:20,128 --> 01:20:21,838 - Yeah! - All right? 999 01:20:22,255 --> 01:20:24,257 - I'll be there in a minute. - Okay! 1000 01:20:45,237 --> 01:20:47,948 So if I pull this off, I get the 25 grand on Sunday? 1001 01:20:48,157 --> 01:20:51,827 Kid, you pull this off I'll take care of your little Samsung. 1002 01:20:51,952 --> 01:20:53,036 Samnang. 1003 01:20:53,245 --> 01:20:54,538 Whatever. 1004 01:20:54,747 --> 01:20:56,457 Have a nice prom, kid. 1005 01:21:00,043 --> 01:21:03,255 - All right, minions, over here. - Good luck. 1006 01:21:14,057 --> 01:21:15,851 Relax, relax. 1007 01:21:16,059 --> 01:21:18,061 You know what? Go wait in the car. Go. 1008 01:21:23,068 --> 01:21:24,652 Jesus. 1009 01:21:27,447 --> 01:21:31,034 Gentlemen, these are your prom dates, April and Ferrari. 1010 01:21:31,868 --> 01:21:35,955 Ladies, we have Eli and Klitz. 1011 01:21:36,831 --> 01:21:38,333 Your name is Klitz? 1012 01:21:39,334 --> 01:21:40,835 With a K. 1013 01:21:41,127 --> 01:21:45,048 Okay, get a two-shot. Minions. All right, guys, get closer. 1014 01:21:45,256 --> 01:21:48,843 Yeah, that's right. Show me the love. Oh, feel it. Feel it! 1015 01:21:49,135 --> 01:21:50,762 - Nice. - Eli? 1016 01:21:51,054 --> 01:21:53,264 Do those girls go to your school? 1017 01:21:53,932 --> 01:21:55,433 Actually, no. 1018 01:21:55,767 --> 01:21:57,143 Mrs. Kidman... 1019 01:21:57,352 --> 01:22:01,565 ...they're porn stars. - Oh, yeah, right. 1020 01:22:16,956 --> 01:22:18,833 You look... 1021 01:22:19,667 --> 01:22:21,168 You- You look really nice. 1022 01:22:22,044 --> 01:22:23,546 Thanks. 1023 01:22:23,754 --> 01:22:26,132 You really do, hon. You look so beautiful. 1024 01:22:26,465 --> 01:22:27,758 Really? 1025 01:22:27,967 --> 01:22:29,343 Thanks. 1026 01:22:48,238 --> 01:22:49,865 WELCOME TO THE SENIOR PROM 1027 01:23:18,143 --> 01:23:19,644 What are all these cameras for? 1028 01:23:20,645 --> 01:23:22,355 For video yearbook. 1029 01:23:46,631 --> 01:23:50,134 So, what should we do? Should we start setting up? 1030 01:23:50,468 --> 01:23:53,137 Yeah, look, we just gotta keep this low-key, okay? 1031 01:23:53,346 --> 01:23:54,639 Okay. What are you gonna do? 1032 01:23:56,557 --> 01:23:58,142 I'm gonna get our actors. 1033 01:24:01,270 --> 01:24:04,357 - Dude, make sure they can act. - Yeah, all right. 1034 01:24:04,565 --> 01:24:07,945 - Just get out of here, okay? - Hey, I got this taken care of. 1035 01:24:08,153 --> 01:24:11,156 You just show this little lady a good time tonight, all right? 1036 01:24:11,365 --> 01:24:13,867 - Minions, let's move. - Wait. So, what are we doing? 1037 01:24:14,034 --> 01:24:15,369 Relax, relax. 1038 01:24:20,332 --> 01:24:22,334 Come on, play it cool, play it cool. 1039 01:24:37,641 --> 01:24:39,560 Look, they're coming to you. 1040 01:24:40,561 --> 01:24:41,854 I, Matt. 1041 01:24:42,062 --> 01:24:44,064 - What's up? - What's up? 1042 01:24:44,648 --> 01:24:48,361 - Can we talk to you for a second? - Dude, I'm with my girl here. 1043 01:24:49,446 --> 01:24:51,448 - Sorry, man. - Should we come back? 1044 01:24:51,656 --> 01:24:53,950 No, I'll leave you guys alone. 1045 01:25:07,338 --> 01:25:08,047 What's up? 1046 01:25:08,173 --> 01:25:10,049 Hey, man, what's up with those girls? 1047 01:25:10,341 --> 01:25:13,970 - What about them? - Are they, like...? 1048 01:25:15,138 --> 01:25:16,473 Are they porn stars? 1049 01:25:17,348 --> 01:25:19,768 - Yeah. - Shit. 1050 01:25:21,060 --> 01:25:22,771 I knew I recognized them. I knew it. 1051 01:25:23,938 --> 01:25:25,940 - Can we meet them? - Yeah. 1052 01:25:29,236 --> 01:25:31,739 How'd you boys like to be in a movie? 1053 01:25:31,947 --> 01:25:33,741 - What are these? - Your scripts. 1054 01:25:33,949 --> 01:25:35,743 Sign the release form at the top. 1055 01:25:35,951 --> 01:25:38,245 Come on, you guys, wait up! 1056 01:25:41,373 --> 01:25:42,541 PHOTO RELEASE 1057 01:25:46,754 --> 01:25:48,047 Are these our actors? 1058 01:25:48,839 --> 01:25:50,841 Just these two. 1059 01:25:51,050 --> 01:25:52,968 What about me, dude? 1060 01:25:53,135 --> 01:25:56,847 Sorry, bro. Party's all full. 1061 01:25:58,641 --> 01:26:00,142 Gentlemen. 1062 01:26:04,647 --> 01:26:08,442 As an artist, I want it to come from a truthful place. 1063 01:26:09,361 --> 01:26:12,239 Holy shit. 1064 01:26:15,242 --> 01:26:17,953 - Ferrari. Ferrari. Focus. Listen. - Oh, okay. 1065 01:26:18,161 --> 01:26:20,247 - Are we...? - No, I can do this. Don't worry. 1066 01:26:20,455 --> 01:26:22,457 Think Meryl Streep, Sophie's Choice. 1067 01:26:31,967 --> 01:26:33,260 Hey. 1068 01:26:33,468 --> 01:26:34,970 Hey. 1069 01:26:40,142 --> 01:26:42,644 Next location! Come on, move! 1070 01:26:42,853 --> 01:26:45,439 Move, move, move! Let's go! 1071 01:26:52,238 --> 01:26:54,240 - I gotta be in this. - Shut up. Take this. 1072 01:27:10,339 --> 01:27:12,341 Oh, come on! Take the pain! 1073 01:27:12,550 --> 01:27:14,051 Take the pain! Get up. Come on! 1074 01:27:17,847 --> 01:27:19,474 May I have a word with you? 1075 01:27:21,142 --> 01:27:23,644 - What's up? - I found this in the hallway. 1076 01:27:24,353 --> 01:27:25,646 Do you know what this is? 1077 01:27:26,355 --> 01:27:27,565 No, what is it? 1078 01:27:27,648 --> 01:27:30,067 Looks like a release form for something. 1079 01:27:31,153 --> 01:27:32,946 Yeah, I don't know what it is. 1080 01:27:35,240 --> 01:27:37,159 Have a good night. 1081 01:27:55,344 --> 01:27:56,845 You're strong. 1082 01:27:57,054 --> 01:27:58,555 You're firm. 1083 01:27:58,764 --> 01:28:01,058 But you have a secret. 1084 01:28:01,266 --> 01:28:03,268 Show that to me. 1085 01:28:16,741 --> 01:28:18,660 Thank you. 1086 01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:21,037 For what? 1087 01:28:21,454 --> 01:28:23,456 I never went to prom. 1088 01:28:45,353 --> 01:28:47,355 Excuse me, sir? 1089 01:28:47,939 --> 01:28:49,357 We have a problem. 1090 01:28:51,943 --> 01:28:54,238 - What's wrong? - Derek didn't work out. 1091 01:28:54,655 --> 01:28:56,949 - What happened? - Let's just say he wasn't strong... 1092 01:28:57,241 --> 01:28:58,951 ...or firm. 1093 01:28:59,160 --> 01:29:01,245 Guys, I can't work like this. 1094 01:29:01,579 --> 01:29:03,664 Okay, relax. We'll just get somebody else. 1095 01:29:03,873 --> 01:29:04,540 There is nobody else. 1096 01:29:04,665 --> 01:29:06,959 I thought everyone's dying to be in this. 1097 01:29:07,168 --> 01:29:09,378 Not this scene. 1098 01:29:11,756 --> 01:29:13,048 All right. 1099 01:29:13,257 --> 01:29:15,468 This is the key scene. 1100 01:29:15,676 --> 01:29:18,763 If we don't get this, Hugo's not gonna buy it. 1101 01:29:19,472 --> 01:29:21,974 Yeah, well, somebody's gotta step up. 1102 01:29:22,141 --> 01:29:25,060 - Why are you looking at me? - Because you're doing it. 1103 01:29:25,269 --> 01:29:27,563 Whoa, whoa, Mr. I-Just-Wanna-Bang-Hot-Chicks. 1104 01:29:27,772 --> 01:29:29,940 Here's your first chance. 1105 01:29:30,441 --> 01:29:32,359 Klitz, I can't act and direct, okay? 1106 01:29:32,568 --> 01:29:33,944 Oh, okay, fine. I'll direct. 1107 01:29:34,153 --> 01:29:35,739 - You're a director now? - Yeah, I am. 1108 01:29:35,947 --> 01:29:37,866 Okay, Spielberg, what lens will you use? 1109 01:29:38,074 --> 01:29:39,451 - It's a video camera. - So? 1110 01:29:39,743 --> 01:29:42,454 Dude, you don't need to change the lens on a video camera. 1111 01:29:42,662 --> 01:29:45,665 You know what? Take this camera and shove it up your ass! 1112 01:29:45,874 --> 01:29:47,542 I'll do it. 1113 01:29:50,253 --> 01:29:51,880 I'll do it. 1114 01:29:52,839 --> 01:29:55,175 You guys have been great, but this is my mess. 1115 01:29:55,342 --> 01:29:57,260 - I'll clean it up. - Matt. Matt. 1116 01:29:57,469 --> 01:29:59,971 Your face is gonna be in this. Think about that. 1117 01:30:32,755 --> 01:30:35,675 - Come here, baby. - Let's... 1118 01:30:36,551 --> 01:30:38,344 Picture's up, people. 1119 01:30:51,149 --> 01:30:52,567 Are you ready, hon? 1120 01:30:52,775 --> 01:30:54,068 Yeah. 1121 01:30:54,277 --> 01:30:56,070 Okay, let's do this. 1122 01:31:04,371 --> 01:31:06,165 And... 1123 01:31:06,457 --> 01:31:07,875 ...action. 1124 01:31:11,754 --> 01:31:13,964 What the hell is going on in here? 1125 01:31:17,342 --> 01:31:19,344 - Nobody move! - Oh, shit. 1126 01:31:19,553 --> 01:31:21,346 Who is in charge of this? 1127 01:31:22,973 --> 01:31:24,767 I asked you people a question! 1128 01:31:24,975 --> 01:31:26,977 Who is in charge here? 1129 01:31:40,950 --> 01:31:42,452 Fuck it. 1130 01:32:12,982 --> 01:32:15,652 All right, everybody, take five. 1131 01:32:16,778 --> 01:32:18,071 What's wrong? 1132 01:32:18,279 --> 01:32:19,949 I can't do this. 1133 01:32:20,157 --> 01:32:21,784 What happened? 1134 01:32:33,754 --> 01:32:35,881 What are you gonna do? 1135 01:32:38,384 --> 01:32:40,469 I don't know. Doesn't matter. 1136 01:32:44,557 --> 01:32:46,475 No. 1137 01:32:46,684 --> 01:32:48,352 I'll do it. 1138 01:32:48,978 --> 01:32:50,646 Klitz, it's cool. You don't have to- 1139 01:32:50,771 --> 01:32:52,148 No, no, I'm doing it. 1140 01:32:53,274 --> 01:32:54,859 Why? 1141 01:32:55,651 --> 01:32:57,778 Because we're a fucking tripod. 1142 01:32:59,155 --> 01:33:02,159 All right, here we go, people. Picture's up. 1143 01:33:03,577 --> 01:33:06,580 Listen, I know this is unprofessional... 1144 01:33:06,747 --> 01:33:08,874 ...but I think you're really cute. 1145 01:33:09,082 --> 01:33:10,667 Yeah, right. 1146 01:33:11,668 --> 01:33:13,670 I'm serious. 1147 01:33:14,463 --> 01:33:15,964 Really cute. 1148 01:33:16,757 --> 01:33:18,049 How we doing, Klitzy? 1149 01:33:19,885 --> 01:33:21,344 Fucking great, man. 1150 01:33:21,553 --> 01:33:22,846 Let's do this. 1151 01:33:23,263 --> 01:33:25,348 And action! 1152 01:34:16,150 --> 01:34:17,777 See you guys. 1153 01:34:20,154 --> 01:34:22,156 Good night, guys. 1154 01:34:27,371 --> 01:34:28,872 So... 1155 01:34:29,081 --> 01:34:31,667 ...what's the craziest thing you've done lately? 1156 01:35:47,369 --> 01:35:49,371 - Hello? - We're dead. 1157 01:35:49,580 --> 01:35:51,874 - Eli? - Dude, the tape's not here. 1158 01:35:52,083 --> 01:35:53,375 - I can't find it. - What? 1159 01:35:53,584 --> 01:35:56,754 Dude, I'm not kidding, okay? I've looked everywhere, okay? 1160 01:35:57,088 --> 01:35:57,880 All right, calm down. 1161 01:35:57,963 --> 01:35:59,882 No, dude, you calm down! It's gone! 1162 01:36:00,049 --> 01:36:02,760 - What do you mean it's gone? - I mean it's freaking gone. 1163 01:36:03,260 --> 01:36:05,054 Somebody stole it! 1164 01:36:05,262 --> 01:36:06,555 Jesus Christ! 1165 01:36:06,680 --> 01:36:08,182 Matthew, could you come in here? 1166 01:36:13,979 --> 01:36:16,065 This is Mr. Simon. 1167 01:36:18,067 --> 01:36:21,153 He says he has something very important to discuss with us. 1168 01:36:25,366 --> 01:36:26,660 Why don't you sit down. 1169 01:36:30,372 --> 01:36:32,582 Actually, if you don't mind... 1170 01:36:32,749 --> 01:36:35,085 ...may I have a word with the boy alone first? 1171 01:36:36,670 --> 01:36:38,255 Sure. 1172 01:36:47,264 --> 01:36:48,473 So how was prom? 1173 01:36:51,476 --> 01:36:53,270 - That's mine. - You know, we were fine. 1174 01:36:53,478 --> 01:36:56,565 But now you go and do this? This was my idea. 1175 01:36:56,773 --> 01:36:58,567 Now I'm really gonna fuck your shit up. 1176 01:36:59,651 --> 01:37:01,278 I'm gonna need that back. 1177 01:37:04,990 --> 01:37:06,366 Take it from me. 1178 01:37:09,954 --> 01:37:11,873 Yeah... 1179 01:37:12,081 --> 01:37:14,083 ...what are you gonna do? 1180 01:37:16,085 --> 01:37:17,462 I don't have to do anything. 1181 01:37:18,171 --> 01:37:19,964 Hugo Posh will. 1182 01:37:20,173 --> 01:37:23,050 Yeah, he's my partner on this, 50-50. 1183 01:37:24,051 --> 01:37:26,554 So could I please have my tape back? 1184 01:37:26,763 --> 01:37:28,556 Fuck you! 1185 01:37:29,682 --> 01:37:32,185 Fuck you. I'm taking your half then. 1186 01:37:32,351 --> 01:37:35,980 No. That money's going to Samnang. The money you stole from him. 1187 01:37:36,189 --> 01:37:39,567 You say that like I care. I don't give a shit. 1188 01:37:39,776 --> 01:37:41,569 You're giving me your half. 1189 01:37:42,069 --> 01:37:44,155 And if I don't? 1190 01:37:44,864 --> 01:37:46,157 Showtime. 1191 01:37:52,664 --> 01:37:55,250 - Okay. - "Okay," what? 1192 01:37:56,877 --> 01:37:58,670 Show them the tape. 1193 01:37:58,962 --> 01:38:00,672 I'm not fucking around. 1194 01:38:02,257 --> 01:38:04,259 I just don't care anymore. 1195 01:38:06,178 --> 01:38:07,679 This... 1196 01:38:07,888 --> 01:38:10,474 ...is gonna be interesting. 1197 01:38:14,353 --> 01:38:16,855 Dan, Marci, Mr. Salinger... 1198 01:38:17,064 --> 01:38:20,192 ...would you mind joining me in the living room for a second? 1199 01:38:20,359 --> 01:38:21,860 Great. 1200 01:38:29,284 --> 01:38:32,872 Matthew, is there anything you want to say before we watch this? 1201 01:38:36,793 --> 01:38:38,878 Okay, then. On with the show. 1202 01:38:42,382 --> 01:38:44,467 Hello. I'm April. 1203 01:38:44,676 --> 01:38:46,261 And I'm Ferrari. 1204 01:38:46,469 --> 01:38:50,056 You may recognize us as stars of the adult entertainment industry. 1205 01:38:50,390 --> 01:38:52,559 And today we're taking time out to talk about... 1206 01:38:52,684 --> 01:38:54,352 ...a very important subject. 1207 01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:56,062 - Sex. - Sex. 1208 01:38:57,272 --> 01:38:59,566 Special events such as senior prom... 1209 01:38:59,774 --> 01:39:00,859 ...place added pressure on young teens... 1210 01:39:01,067 --> 01:39:04,070 ...to lose their virginity and engage in unprotected sex. 1211 01:39:04,279 --> 01:39:06,656 I know I lost my virginity at my senior... 1212 01:39:06,781 --> 01:39:08,658 ...prom. When'd you lose yours, April? 1213 01:39:08,867 --> 01:39:11,871 - When I was 10. - Moving on. 1214 01:39:12,079 --> 01:39:14,582 In this video, we'll go through. 1215 01:39:14,665 --> 01:39:16,167 ...everything from kissing to foreplay. 1216 01:39:16,375 --> 01:39:20,171 And for our finale, we'll show you how to put a condom on properly... 1217 01:39:20,379 --> 01:39:22,590 ...using a real person. 1218 01:39:22,673 --> 01:39:25,259 No cucumbers or bananas in this video. 1219 01:39:25,468 --> 01:39:27,553 So for those of you naughty boys... 1220 01:39:27,678 --> 01:39:29,388 ...expecting to see a raunchy porn video... 1221 01:39:29,764 --> 01:39:32,892 ...you might as well turn this off now... 1222 01:39:33,058 --> 01:39:34,769 ...because you're not gonna see sex. 1223 01:39:34,977 --> 01:39:36,479 What the fuck is this shit? 1224 01:39:36,687 --> 01:39:39,482 You're gonna see sex education. 1225 01:39:41,692 --> 01:39:43,277 The ELI EXPERIENCE presents 1226 01:39:44,653 --> 01:39:47,865 ADULT EDUCATION Sex Education for the 21st Century 1227 01:39:50,993 --> 01:39:52,954 This is interesting, Matthew. 1228 01:39:56,458 --> 01:39:57,793 Yeah. 1229 01:39:57,959 --> 01:40:00,378 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 1230 01:40:03,757 --> 01:40:07,094 Well, you remember those sex-ed films back in our day. 1231 01:40:07,677 --> 01:40:10,972 Well, I'll tell you, if they were anything like this... 1232 01:40:11,181 --> 01:40:14,267 ...we sure would've paid more attention, don't you think? 1233 01:40:15,977 --> 01:40:18,188 I think it's atrocious. 1234 01:40:21,191 --> 01:40:22,484 But... 1235 01:40:22,692 --> 01:40:24,486 ...the hell with it. 1236 01:40:25,779 --> 01:40:28,073 The kids today are so goddamn screwed up... 1237 01:40:28,281 --> 01:40:31,284 ...maybe this is the only way you can reach them. 1238 01:40:34,288 --> 01:40:36,582 You just might have something here, Matthew. 1239 01:40:37,166 --> 01:40:38,960 I think it's pretty wild. 1240 01:40:40,169 --> 01:40:42,171 This could really sell, don't you think? 1241 01:40:43,589 --> 01:40:45,758 How'd you come up with such an idea, Matthew? 1242 01:40:47,260 --> 01:40:48,594 What can I say? 1243 01:40:49,971 --> 01:40:52,056 It's like a gift, you know? 1244 01:40:52,974 --> 01:40:55,059 It's like I can't control it. 1245 01:40:59,063 --> 01:41:00,356 We've Only. Just Begun. 1246 01:41:03,776 --> 01:41:05,069 YEARBOOKS TODAY! 1247 01:41:05,278 --> 01:41:08,865 Courtney Booth. I will always remember late nights in Cabby- 1248 01:41:09,073 --> 01:41:10,867 Eric Zierdal. I'll always remember- 1249 01:41:11,075 --> 01:41:12,368 Kurt Kilgore. I will- 1250 01:41:12,577 --> 01:41:13,578 Joseph Croft. 1251 01:41:13,786 --> 01:41:16,373 I will always remember wrestling and the great memories we had. 1252 01:41:16,582 --> 01:41:19,668 Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... 1253 01:41:22,171 --> 01:41:24,673 ...the three legs of the tripod. 1254 01:41:25,090 --> 01:41:28,469 I'm here with Hugo Posh, the producer of Adult Education... 1255 01:41:28,677 --> 01:41:31,972 ...the hottest-selling sex-education video ever made... 1256 01:41:32,181 --> 01:41:34,975 ...being utilized in classrooms across the globe. 1257 01:41:35,184 --> 01:41:39,480 Hugo, you're known primarily as a hard-core pornographer, correct? 1258 01:41:39,688 --> 01:41:40,981 My business partner. 1259 01:41:41,190 --> 01:41:42,566 Let me break it down for you 1260 01:41:42,775 --> 01:41:45,861 See, Hugo Posh isn't just tits. He isn't just ass. 1261 01:41:46,987 --> 01:41:50,866 I mean, yes, he is those things, but Hugo Posh is also heart. 1262 01:41:51,492 --> 01:41:53,285 What an ass-bag. 1263 01:41:53,994 --> 01:41:55,497 THE JUICE WAS WORTH THE SQUEEZE 1264 01:41:55,997 --> 01:41:58,082 Fucking kid. 1265 01:41:58,291 --> 01:42:00,084 My student advisor. 1266 01:42:00,293 --> 01:42:02,295 All right, people. 1267 01:42:02,796 --> 01:42:04,297 Let's make some fucky-fucky. 1268 01:42:04,464 --> 01:42:07,258 Now, Hugo, you and your partner have made millions on this. 1269 01:42:07,467 --> 01:42:09,177 So who is this silent partner? 1270 01:42:10,595 --> 01:42:13,556 Well, he prefers to remain anonymous. 1271 01:42:21,189 --> 01:42:24,192 You better cure cancer, kid. 1272 01:42:24,359 --> 01:42:25,985 The next Einstein. 1273 01:42:26,361 --> 01:42:28,279 All right. Yeah, next question. 1274 01:42:29,364 --> 01:42:31,491 - All right. - Eli's calling card. 1275 01:42:31,658 --> 01:42:33,785 - How about you, buddy? - Yeah, Mr. Brooks... 1276 01:42:33,993 --> 01:42:36,079 ...why did you decide to skip film school? 1277 01:42:36,287 --> 01:42:38,165 Don't you think you're a little young? 1278 01:42:38,290 --> 01:42:39,583 Shut the fuck up! 1279 01:42:39,792 --> 01:42:41,293 Next question! Faster! 1280 01:42:41,460 --> 01:42:43,879 I got the tape! Can you see? I got the tape! 1281 01:42:45,965 --> 01:42:47,883 For our finale, I will now demonstrate... 1282 01:42:47,967 --> 01:42:48,884 ...the proper technique... 1283 01:42:49,093 --> 01:42:50,678 ...for putting a condom on the real thing. 1284 01:42:50,761 --> 01:42:52,596 Is my volunteer ready? 1285 01:42:52,763 --> 01:42:54,598 Klitz's big debut. 1286 01:42:54,890 --> 01:42:56,767 Shut up, shut up! Here he is, here he is. 1287 01:43:04,358 --> 01:43:07,069 Jesus, look at that guy. 1288 01:43:07,862 --> 01:43:10,698 He is huge. 1289 01:43:15,369 --> 01:43:18,665 My own scholarship to Georgetown. 1290 01:43:23,378 --> 01:43:25,964 And of course, I'll never forget... 1291 01:43:26,173 --> 01:43:27,466 ...the girl next door. 1292 01:43:35,474 --> 01:43:37,559 As for me... 1293 01:43:38,393 --> 01:43:40,771 ...I'm just going with it. 93401