All language subtitles for Waking.Ned.1998.1080p.BluRay.X264-AMIABLE.eng

Saturday evening, and
the universe is much the same...

as at any other point
in the history of the world.

The planets and stars
orbit and spin...

and do everything
that is expected of them.

On earth, as the sun sets,
millions prepare...

for a weekly event
which is far less predictable.

In sixty-three countries
around the world...

dozens of lottery machines
spin hundreds of lottery balls.

It takes seconds for the winning
numbers to be selected...

seconds for the losers
to realize they've lost...

but for the winners,
it is an event...

which will undoubtedly change
their lives forever.

Lucky sods.

Hello again, and welcome...

to the National Lottery's
weekend draw...

for Saturday,
the 21st of August.

We're coming to you live tonight
from the heart of Dublin...

where we are, as we speak,
calculating the total amount...

of the jackpot
to be claimed tonight.

As always, we shall be
bringing you up to date...

with the total jackpot
and all the lotto news...

in our round-up program which
follows directly after the news.

But for now, let's concentrate
on the game in hand...

and get
this week's draw underway.

Just to remind you,
if you can match six numbers...

Annie, where's me ticket?

In your trousers.

Oh, Lord.

Here's Alan Fergis...

our independent observer
this evening.

Alan is from Stokescroft
Financial Services...

and we're very honored
to have him here tonight.

There's all your numbers--

numbers one to forty-two--
poised and ready...

Annie, bring me
me apple tart, will you?

Fetch it yourself.

We start the draw drum,
release all forty-two numbers.

Annie, the lotto's starting.

...as we wait
for the first number...

to come from the draw drum.

And our first number is...
nineteen.

Oh, yes. There she goes.

Number nineteen. Annie, come in.

Bring me me tart.
We've got the first one.

It's...number forty.

Jeepers, Annie.

Will you believe it?
I've got the second.

Our third number is number four.

Oh, will you
look at that, girl?

Here's our fourth number-seven.

Can you believe it, Annie?
Number seven!

Will you come in out of that?
We got the first four!

You're havin' me on.

Shush, shush, shush.

...is twenty-five.
Twenty-five.

Annie...we've got it.

Jesus, Jackie...that's five.

Oh, God help us. God help us.

And now
herds the sixth number...

- Twenty-nine.
- Yes! Yes, yes.

Finally, our bonus number...

Yes, Yes, yes, yes,
Yes, yes, yes, yes!

Have we won?

No, but it got me apple tart
brought in now, didn't it?

Whoo!

I wish I was a fisherman

Tumbling on the seas

Far away from dry land

And its bitter memories

Casting out my sweet life

With abandonment and love

No ceiling bearing down on me

Save the starry sky above
with light in my head

You in my arms

Whoo!

Michael!

Michael O'Sullivan,
are you a millionaire?

Now, Jackie,
would I spend me time...

sittin' on this old beach
if I was a millionaire?

I believe you would.

Hold on there now.
I've some mighty news.

Are you going in for a dip?

More important things to do.

Look and see what I've found...

in the small print
of the Irish Times last night.

Look at it--the front page,
down at the bottom...

winkin' at ya--lotto results.

Winner from County More West.

A local winner?
God, that's a thing.

Jeepers, Michael,
it's more than local.

County More West is big, but
there's only one village in it.

- Tullymore.
- Tullymore.

Is this a fact, Jackie?
A winner in the village?

In Tullymore itself, yes.

And how many
are living there now?

Well, there's fifty-two
precisely, Michael.

If you've not won, I've not won,
and Annie's not won...

that leaves
a total of forty-nine.

Jesus, forty-nine...
and one is a winner.

Has the news reached Tullymore?

Nobody's figured it out yet...

so nobody knows but the winner.

God, it's mighty.
Does Annie know?

She does. She's looking
for the winner now.

If a goose comes along

To sing her song

Then I'll light a fire
with a big pot on

Well, you're blessed with
a grand voice, Mrs. Kennedy.

How long
can a man sit on a fortune...

without spending a penny,
Jackie?

As long as he wants, Michael.

The longer it's sat on,
the bigger our share.

Jesus, man! Where's it from?

Does it suit me, Maggie?

- It does at that.
- Will you marry me, then?

Oh...Da!

Can I marry your daughter
now I'm driving a convertible?

It must be stolen, that.

Come for a ride
like the old days.

Finn, darlin',
you know I would...

if it wasn't
for the smell of them pigs.

What about me young man there?

Maurice, will you come
for a ride in the racing car?

Grumpy, can I go?

- No.
- Please?

Brendy, is me puncture mended?

Come back tomorrow.

I could've done it
quicker meself.

We find the winner
and make sure...

we're their best friends
when they cash the check.

Well, come on, then.

I'm not sure.

So, you think it's a woman?

I'm just saying it might be.

If it's a woman,
I'll chat her up...

and we'll be off
before you knew it.

I'm bursting with news.
I think I know who's won.

That's mighty,
for I've an idea I know myself.

Annie, what's the noise?

It's Michael...
and he knows the winner.

Well, come on.
I want to hear it up here. So?

Jesus, Jackie,
do you think you're the Pope?

Shouting out the bathroom window
for the whole village to hear!

Well, come on, out with it.

It's Mrs. Kennedy.

Oh, now, I've got someone else.

- Well, speak up, man.
- Pig Finn.

Will you look at that--

there's 48 possible winners,
and we're down to 2 already.

Go away out of that.
We're in the bath!

Jackie, it's Finn.
Are you up for a pint?

I want to ask
your advice on something.

He's after advice on his money.

Say you will.

Aye, I'm up for a pint.
I'm just out of me bath.

I'll see you at Fitzgerald's
in ten minutes.

Right.

Yeah, I know. There's
a terrible stink on him lately.

Evening, Jackie, Michael.

Boys.

Dennis,
have you seen Pig Finn?

His glass is there,
and himself is in the toilet.

Two pints for us, and
one for me old friend, Pig Finn.

Oh, and let me
buy him a packet...

of his favorite Mexican crisps
there, as well, Dennis.

Your old friend?

You must be needing an operation
on your nose, Jackie.

Have you smelled the Pig lately?

I have, and it's not
half as bad as your aftershave.

Well, this aftershave
is a knockout with the girls.

And tell me, Pat,
which particular girls...

are you knocking out
at the moment?

Well, hello, Mrs. Kennedy.

Don't be afraid.
It's only myself.

I've been baking, and Jackie
had no room for this...

so I thought we'd share it
between us.

There's the man. Ha ha!

How are you, boys?

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

The old sparkle
in your eye, eh?

You're a devil, Jackie.

Jesus, Jackie, you must have
a terrible thirst tonight.

I've never seen a man drink
two pints at the same time.

Here. This is yours, Finn.
I've bought you a pint so.

- You're joking me.
- No.

You never bought me a pint.

Go away with you.
I brought you home many a night.

And I bought you a packet...

of your favorite Mexican crisps.

Aye, and no offense, now, Finn.

I bought you some expensive
fruity soaps.

Take them home and try them out.

Mmm.

Ah, boys, what are you up to?

Nothin'.
Can I not buy you a pint?

Did you come
into some money, Jackie?

No. But you'd be the first
to share in it if I had, Finn.

Right.

Where have you been?
I've been in bed an hour.

Oh, shut up.

- You're drunk.
- I am not.

What's the news?

I spent ten pounds
on Finn...

and all he wanted was advice
on his sick pig.

- Is the sports car his?
- Not at all.

He's lookin' after it
for his brother.

Then I spent
another forty on the locals...

in case the winner
was hidden among them.

You're actin' like
you won the lotto yourself.

Aye, yeah.
Rockefeller, that's me.

I followed me nose
to Mrs. Kennedy's.

I took a meat pie
to soften her up.

Go on.

Found her on her own
drinkin' champagne.

- It's her, then.
- Hold on.

No sooner was my meat pie
in her belly...

than she tells me
that her daughter's belly's...

fill-up with a new baby.

That's why she was singin'
"The Golden Goose."

Sure, she's over the moon.

Lord, would you look at that?

We're already fifty pounds
and one meat pie lighter.

You're not gettin'
your toaster, Lizzy.

Let that be an end to it.

I'm an old disabled person
with no money, Fitzgerald.

And you're taking advantage.

And you're taking advantage.

Your toaster is mended...

but you can't take it
until you've paid for it.

You're ripping me off,
Fitzgerald.

I'm fed up with you
takin' without payin', woman.

Get out of my way.

- Whoa!
- You little gobshite!

Mornin', boys.
How's the heads?

Lord, we were
heavy drunk last night.

The whole bar
was heavy drunk, thanks to you.

Listen, there's a rumor
you've come into some money.

- What?
- Ha ha ha ha!

Oh, Janey Mac, I wish I had.

I was just treatin' me friends
with the little I've got.

I came over this morning
to make sure I'd settled up.

I'd hate to be
owin' you anything, Dennis.

Go on. On you go.
Go on. Good luck.

Mornin', Annie.

That Mrs. Kennedy
is a fine one for the champagne.

I thought
it would be you boys...

that would have the heads
this morning, not me.

We do have heads,
and they are sore...

but at the same time filled with
the very best of Irish brains.

Will those dead chickens
find the winner?

They will.

Jackie talked Mrs. Kennedy
into giving us...

a list of
the regular lotto players.

There's eighteen...

and each of those will be
invited to a chicken supper.

We'll sit them down,
feed them up...

and during the night,
we find the winner.

Yoo-hoo!

It's not me Christmas card
already, is it, Michael?

Christmas has come early
this year, Kitty.

Oh, how exciting.

Come in, Michael. Come in.

I've been baking.

It's tempting, Kitty,
but I've more cards to deliver.

Is it a little love note,
Michael?

Ha ha ha!

What are you up to?

Been writin'.

Ah, Maggie. Will you
read me some of your poetry?

Jesus, that's not poetry.

It's just words for a greetin'
card. There's a big difference.

Ah, it's poetry to me.

My cards are bought
by men on their way home...

who give them to their wives
who give them a bollocking...

for leavin' the price
on the back...

and they never even read
what I've written inside.

I read them.
Go on, Maggs, read us one.

No!

- Ah, will you go on, now?
- I can't.

Make my heart sing.

Ah, go on, Maggs. Just the one.
Just for me. Please?

Promise you won't laugh?

I certainly will not.

"Sometimes--"

No, "sometimes" is good.

"Sometimes."
It's a lovely start.

Go on.

"Sometimes...

"some things are special."

"Sometimes, someone is close."

"Sometimes, you feel
you'll never quite say..."

"the some things
that matter the most."

That's poetry, Maggie.

You've a real talent there.

It's bollocks, Finn.
It's a bit of extra cash.

I've been usin'
some fruity soaps, Maggie.

I've noticed.

Well, come on, then.

Let's get closer.

Oh, yes, please, Maggie.

It's been a long time,
hasn't it, Finn?

If it weren't for the pigs,
we'd be settled by now.

- We might.
- The pigs is all you know.

Maggie, can we forget
the pigs for the moment?

I'm sorry,
but if it weren't for the pigs--

Can we get closer, Maggie?

We can, but I can't wait
forever is what I'm sayin'.

I know, darlin'. Come on down.

Oh, Finn...

I have missed you.

You could work with my da.

Oh, he hates me.
Come on, Maggie.

- In Fitzgerald's, then.
- He doesn't need anyone.

There must be somethin'
you're good at.

Come here,
and I'll show you, girl.

Come on, Maggie.

Oh ho!

I caught a whiff
of something then.

Oh, no. It's peaches.
Peach soaps, Maggie.

Oh, no.

- It's somethin' else.
- Could be strawberries.

Finn.

Oh, Maggie.

- Finn.
- Maggie.

Finn.

Oh, no. I'm sorry, luv.
It's still there.

No, Maggs.
No, Maggie, please. No.

No, I'm sorry.

What can you play?

Nothin', really.
I just like messing around.

Can you play songs about Jesus?

No. I wish I could.

So did he come to you, then?

- Who's that?
- Jesus.

Oh, Jesus.

Well, he did in many ways, yes.

But did you see him?

Well, not exactly, no.

But you're workin' for him.

I am. Doing the best I can.

Do you get paid for it?

Well, it's more a payment
of the spiritual kind, Maurice.

Right.

Do you think you could be drawn
to the church, Maurice?

- I don't think so.
- You never know.

I don't think I could work
for someone I'd never met...

and not get paid for it.

Ha ha ha!

Did you enjoy
your supper, Michael?

I did, indeed, Kitty.

It was generous
of Jackie to splash out.

Oh, he's a generous man, Kitty.

Oh, grand.

Did you see Pig Finn...

in his brother's racing car
this week, Brendy?

I did.

I thought it was stolen.

Jackie, they tell me
you might be splashing out...

on a sports car yourself.

If I had the money, Brendy,
I wouldn't waste it on a car...

when me bike's outside.
How about yourself?

How about meself, what?

Will you be splashin' out
on a sports car?

Are you mad, man?

Just askin'.

Tell me, Torn, will you be
looking for a bigger house...

now that you've had your baby?

So, Kitty, how did you
like your breast?

Me breast, Annie, was tasty.

Ah. So tell us.

Are you goin' to take
a holiday this year?

Now, where would I get
the money for a holiday?

Sorry, girls.

- Ah, help yourself.
- There we go.

I see you've got
a little bit put away there.

No, but I've started saving.

Am I smellin' sweeter, Jackie?

I tried
one of your banana soaps.

Not sweet enough,
by the looks of it.

- Oh!
- Ah, that's my girl.

There's
a raspberry soap upstairs.

Try that tomorrow, huh?

- Raspberry?
- Yes. Try that.

Jackie,
am I right in thinkin'...

you've booked
one of these Caribbean cruises?

If I had the money, Dennis,
I wouldn't spend it...

floatin' around the Caribbean...

when I can float
in the cove for free. Eh?

For Christ's sake, Jackie,
would you mind telling us...

what you would be
spending your money on...

if you had any, that is?

Well, I'd take
what I needed, Pat...

and treat me friends
with the rest.

At least

When I asked them

That's what I was told

So I took a hand

In this diggin' for gold

But for all I have found there

I might as well be

Where the Mountains of Mourne

Sweep down to the sea

Oh, jeepers...

the chickens and the whiskey
were wasted.

What are you starin' at?

Oh, I wasn't
staring at anything.

Come on, out with it.

I know who it is.
I've worked it out.

- No.
- Oh, yeah.

Go on.

- It's you.
- Me?

I think it's you, and I think
you're having us all on.

Michael, go home.

I'll leave you in peace
to count your winnings.

Here. Wait-wait a minute.

What if it's you?
You never said it wasn't.

Get home. You're drunk.

Get to your bed.

Get yourself a hot chocolate.

Get home, ya hoodlum!

Stupid idiot.

I've a chicken leg left over.

Oh, well, I'm full, Annie.

Put it in the fridge
for dinner tomorrow, huh?

Jackie, I counted
those joints precisely.

If there's a leg left over,
it means someone was missing.

The winner smelt a rat.

Where's me list?

Ned Devine.
Ned Devine was missing.

God, Annie, did you not notice?

Make up a dinner, sweetheart.
I'm going over.

Ned!

“Led!

I've brought you
a chicken dinner!

Ned.

I've brought you
a chicken supper.

Huh.

Ned? Ned, are you in there?

Ned.

Ned?

You in there, Ned?

Dear God.

You'll be cursin' in heaven
tonight, Ned Devine.

They match.

It's a winner.

It'll be at least
half a million.

He'd have spent it, too.

There would have been
a mighty party.

Is there a greater
twist of fate, Annie...

to win half a million
and the next minute...

die from the shock of it?

God rest him, the poor fella.

Ned--the sweetest man
in the world.

They say money
changes a man, Jackie.

There's no greater change than
movin' from life into death.

It's the cruelest twist.

Half a million pounds.

Should we be phonin' police
or the doctor?

It's a call to both...

but there's
nothin' to do tonight.

His bedroom's as cold
as any fridge they'd put him in.

Make the calls in the mornin'.

I think we should make room
in this day for some prayers.

God bless mothers and fathers
and grandparents, too...

aunties and uncles,
friends old and new.

Amen.

And, dear Lord,
we pray tonight...

for a little man
from Tullymore...

Ned Devine...

as sweet a soul
as ever was blessed.

A gentleman
who loved his life...

and carried a heart the size
of his head within his chest.

- Amen.
- Amen.

It's delicious.

There would have been
a mighty party, Jackie.

Yeah. There would, indeed.

Would you--would you
like some chicken?

No, thanks, Ned.

Are you sure?

Are you angry?

Not at all.

Are you sure you wouldn't
like some chicken?

It's delicious.

No, thanks, Ned. I'm full.

Where are we going, Ned?

Into the light.

It seems far off.

Aye. But don't worry, man.

The tide
will bring us there safely.

It's a premonition,
Michael! A vision!

It's a chicken dinner, Jackie.

It's obvious, Michael.
He wants us to claim the money.

Share the chicken dinner,
share the winnings.

What a great man he was.

Yeah,
and his spirit's in me head.

What'll you do
with the ticket?

Well, he wrote his name
on the back, Michael.

But we pretend to be Ned
and claim the half million.

Oh, I'm not sure, Jackie.
I couldn't be Ned.

I'm no good at pretending.

I'll be Ned meself.

Michael, Ned's no family.
The money'll go unclaimed.

He plays the lotto
all his life...

and dies from the shock
of winning it.

Can you imagine the anger
of his spirit, man?

Does Annie know
we're going back up tonight?

No, no.
She's left cuddling me pillow.

Do we report the death
in the morning?

Michael, are you thick?

If we report the death and
are found to be claiming...

we'll surely be
questioned for murder.

Murder is a mighty word
to use at this time of night.

I'm sorry if it gives
you the willies, Michael.

Watch the step.

Where is he, Jackie?

Through there. Take a look.

Jesus, there's a stink in here.

Ah,
nature's taking ahold, Michael.

He's been gone a few days now.

Jackie...he's smiling.

That'll be the winning smile.

With a little luck, we'll have
one ourselves in a week.

And I always thought it would be
the sea that would take him.

He survived all those storms...

only to be swept away
by a few lottery balls.

Jackie, come quick.

Oh, sweet Jesus,
the man's beginnin' to melt.

Yaahhh!

Oh, dear God, you've slipped
on his intestines.

Ah, will you get up?

Ah, for God's sake, Jackie.

Jackie, for the love of God,
will you stop it?

Oh, be calm, Michael.
It's only a chicken dinner.

A chicken dinner?

God, I thought
it was his intestines.

I've never smelt intestines
on me jacket before...

but it surely can't be as bad
as Annie's Brussels sprouts.

Come on. You missed a bit.

God. The floor'll need
to be cleaned before we go.

- What time is it?
- Ten to five.

Now the morning's on its way.

Can you clean up
the chicken dinner on your own?

There are two things
to do before we go, Michael...

and the chicken dinner is by far
the least gruesome.

Is it necessary, Jackie?

Well, it's sort of unnatural
as it is, Michael.

Take hold of his mouth.

You won't get rid of his smile
by twistin' his cheeks.

You think you're awful smart.

Leave me in peace.

Finish wiping those intestines
from the floor.

What expression
were you thinking of?

Be quiet. I'm--I'm tryin' to...

Ahh. God Almighty.

Oh, dear God. Here.

Ah, come on.
For God's sake, Jackie.

Stop. You're--you're
panicking me, man.

You're panicking me.

Now watch he doesn't bite again.

Oh, shush.

No. It's not natural.
It's too grim.

You're right, there.

It's in his eyes, Jackie.

Ah. Yeah. Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

You're doin'
a fine job there, Brendy.

- Oh, hello there.
- That was a storm, wasn't it?

- Oh, it was.
- Is Maggie around?

She's having a bit
of a lie-in after last night.

Oh, right.

Well, look, Brendy,
I'll get straight in here.

I spent some time
with your daughter last night.

Now, I don't know
how you feel about Finn...

but I think she deserves a lot
more than the local pig farmer.

Finn's not so bad.

Well, no, he's not.
No, you're right there.

He's a good man.

But look at what I've got
to offer, Brendy.

I've inherited the farm now.

I'm up there
rattlin' around on me own.

I could look after Maggie
and little Maurice.

I'm lookin' to settle down,
Brendy...

and there's plenty of girls
who would jump at the chance.

You're very much like
your father, aren't you, Pat?

Well, now, Brendy,
I'll take that as a compliment.

He was always after me wife
right up till we were married.

And as I remember,
he didn't stop there.

Ah, well, now, Brendy,
that just goes to show...

that you both had good taste,
doesn't it?

Look, Brendy, I know I've always
had a bit of a reputation...

with the ladies and that.

But this is different, Brendy.
This is serious.

Maggie wouldn't want
for anything.

There'd be no other women,
and she'll be well looked after.

She could stay in the village.

She'd be here if you needed her.

What do you think?

Come on, girl! Come on!

Here you are, Lizzy.
Have your choice.

Lizzy, stop squeezing
the bread, please.

It's all stale, anyway.

It certainly is not.
It came in fresh this morning.

I'll take two loaves and pay
half price due to the staleness.

Ah, jeepers. Annie is livid.

Did she give you an earful?

She did.
She locked me in my room.

She said we should never have
gone back up last night.

She said we're too old
for prison.

Maybe we should
stop it all now, Jackie.

Come on, man, what do you say?

No. I'm all prepared.
Come on.

What's in the bag?

I pinched these from his house
last night.

They're all Ned's documents--
birth certificates and stuff.

Hello. National Lotto.
Maureen speaking.

Yes, Maureen, hello. I'm
wanting to talk to someone...

about a claim
that I'll be makin'.

I suppose it might be
the tube, Dennis, would it?

Have you seen the boys?

Not today, Annie.

I'll kill them.

Michael,
we'll go down to the beach...

and get the story straight.

They're sendin' a man
from Dublin.

Are they convinced?

They are, but there's
some preparing to do.

I need to spend
the night at Ned's...

in case the lotto man
comes first thing tomorrow.

What are you looking at?

It's amazing...

how it just goes on and on,
Father, isn't it?

On and on,
into the universe and infinity.

Oh, yes,
it's a marvel, isn't it?

- How are you, Father?
- Oh, fine, Maurice.

You don't sound so sure there.

Ah, no, it's just been
a difficult month for me...

you know, Maurice,
coming to a community like this.

If I was here permanently,
I think people might be...

a little bit more welcoming.

How much longer have you got?

Well, Father Mulligan
should be back from Lourdes...

fairly soon,
so then I'll be off.

Well, you'll be missed.
You've done well...

no matter what people say.

Thank you, Maurice.

I'd like to think
I've made an impression.

Go on, ask me another one.

Come on, man,
use your imagination.

- How old are you, Ned?
- I'm 66, sir.

And do you have
any family, Ned?

No, just meself now.

- How's Dublin?
- Foggy.

This is your car.
You can drop me off on the way.

Is she fit, Brendy?

Oh, so you're not
in the convertible today, then?

No, I'm not.

Maurice, be careful there, son.
There's petrol here.

Maurice, you're a bad boy.

I've told you
not to play with matches!

God Almighty!
Careful, son!

Sorry, Finn.

Well, you're all right.

Jesus, Brendy, would you
keep him away from the petrol?

He needs a father.
He's too quick for me.

He needs his real father.
Maggie needs me, too, Brendy.

Jeez, man, you're not the da.

I am so, and Maggie knows it.

What a mess
your donkey's making.

It's a pony.

Christ, man, the stink
on your donkey's arse...

is almost as bad as yourself.

- Piss off with you.
- And I will at that.

I've a date
with Maurice's mother tonight.

Haven't I, Brendy?

That's a lie. Maggie's mine.

We're just
discussing it here now.

She wanted someone
who could get close enough...

to give her what she wants.

Tullymore. Tullymore.

Where is it?

So, what are you going
to spend your half on, Jackie?

We agreed half,
did we, Michael?

No,
I'd just sort of assumed it.

Oh, you assumed it, did you?

Who's that?

- Hello there.
- Hello.

I'm a little bit lost.
Do you know where Tullymore is?

You're not far off, mister.

Back up the lane,
left at the end...

and it's a long road
that has no turning.

Are you from
the village yourself?

I am, all me life.

Would you happen to know
a Ned Devine?

Ned Devine?

Ned Devine. Do you know him?

I do. I do.
Is it Ned you're wanting?

It is, yeah.

I can take you to
Ned Devine's house if you want.

That'd be very good of you.
Want to jump in the car?

Oh, sweet Jesus!

Ah-choo!

Oh, hey, I'm sorry.

Excuse me, that's hay fever.

I get it every time
I come down to the country.

Sorry, I'm Jim Kelly.

Jackie O'Shea. How are you?

Not too bad, Jackie.

So, it's at the end of this road
and then the next left, yeah?

Er, no. If you're
going to Ned's house...

then you better turn right
and head back to the hills.

Are you sure?

Yeah. Sure, I'm sure.

Yes, I've been here
all my life.

Right.

Now, I think there's
a right turn coming up here.

Will you drive a little slower,
mister, please?

Sorry.
I'll try and take it easier now.

Whoa! Left.

Haven't we just been up here?

It would seem that way,
but that's a different spot.

Are you having trouble
with the directions?

I am.
You're going too fast. Yes.

Sorry. I thought
I was taking it slower now.

It's faster than a walk,
and I've always walked...

my way around these hills
in the mist and the fog.

There's a left turn.
Left turn here.

No, it's a right turn,
I think. Yes.

- Left or right?
- No, right.

Right, OK.

What kind of business
are you in?

- Oh, business.
- Business?

- Business.
- Yes...business.

Ned. Ned! Are you in there?

I brought a man to see ya.
Ned? Ned?

I don't think he's in.

I'd best take a look
down the village.

No, no. I'll take
a look round the back.

He sleeps a lot
in the afternoon.

All right.

Come on, pussy.

Ah-choo!

Michael...
where are your clothes, man?

- There wasn't time.
- We're at the front door.

I can hear that,
but it's all locked up.

Mind yourself.

You're all right.
He was taking a bath there.

Well, thanks very much
for your help.

Oh, no problem at all.
No problem.

Uh-"yes?

Ned, I'm sorry
to get you out of your bath...

but there's a man to see you.

Oh.

Can I come in, Mr. Devine?
It's rather personal.

Jim Kelly. You called my office
in Dublin this morning.

Oh, I--I see.

Why don't you
invite us in, Ned...

so the man can tell you
his business?

Uh, yes. Uh, right.

Uh, in you come.

I think it's best
if we're left alone now.

- Thanks again.
- Right you are.

- Watch your head.
- All right.

All the best, Ned.
All the best.

Would it be better
if I was dressed, Mr. Kelly?

It would indeed, Ned.
Take your time there, now.

Right.

Do you have any family
living nearby, Ned?

Oh, no. I'm all on me own now.

Oh, do you have much family
yourself, Mr. Kelly?

Oh, I do.

Too much at times,
if you know what I mean.

We've got three kids now.

So there's always
aunties and uncles...

and cousins coming over,
wanting to visit.

Were you a fisherman
by any chance, Ned?

Oh, yes.
I was at sea, man and boy.

This was my father's cottage
originally.

He used to run a boat from here.

He used to run a boat from here.

What do you think?

You--you can't wear that.

You have to be careful.

Winning the lotto can bring
as much bad luck as it can good.

It's a real shame
you don't have any family, Ned.

Oh, you're doing grand.
Don't be worrying, now.

You'll have the lotto man...

twisted around
your little finger.

- Oh! Holy Mother of God!
- What?

You'll have to be careful
of your friends after the win.

The winning ticket
is in me little bag.

Me little bag has been
left in the phone box.

Oh, great.

Bloody great.

Do you understand
what I'm saying, Ned?

You'll have to watch
your friends.

Ah, there we are, Ned.
Ready for business.

Will you have a whiskey,
Mr. Kelly?

I won't, thank you,
but you help yourself.

Well, basically, Ned,
the reason why I'm here today...

is that sometimes when people
learn just how much...

they have won in the lotto,
they get a bit of a shock.

Oh, yes.
Oh, that I can imagine.

Right, so I expect now
you'll want to know...

just how much you have won.

Oh, and you'd be
in a position...

to tell me that now,
would you, Jim?

I can tell you
exactly how much, Ned.

Do you have your ticket on you?

Will you excuse me
just a minute, Jim?

I have a bit
of an upset tummy coming on.

OK.

Are you all right there?

Oh, yes.
I'm sorry about that.

- Must be the excitement.
- Of course.

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes, the ticket.

Ah, there he is.

There's the winner.

What a famous little chap
he is, hmm?

Big win, is it?

Ned, you've won...
6,894,620 pounds.

How does that make you feel?

Oh...uh...

Take your time now.
There's no rush.

Heh heh heh.

It's a great shock
to the system, I know.

You just give yourself a moment
to get used to the idea.

Oh...uh...

So, what do you think, Ned?

It was a rollover week.

The jackpot
wasn't won last week...

so they carried it over
to this week...

and you were the only winner.

Were you aware of that, Ned?

Uh...no.

OK, well, look, naturally
with a claim this size...

there's a lot of forms
to be filled out.

And we can do that
today if you like...

but I can always come back
another day if you'd prefer.

No, no, no.

Fill--fill them in now, Jim.

Right. Well, let's have a look.

Oh, hello.

What sort of a game is this?

Shush, will ya?

Don't you shush me.

Michael's in there
with the man from the lotto.

What?

Right, can I have your full
name and date of birth, please?

"Ned Patrick Devine...

"born 17th of July, 1931.

"Six pounds, two ounces."

OK, now I'll need to find
your social insurance number.

I know it off by heart, Jim.

It's, uh, 8-6-4-3-6-7-4-B.

That's wonderful, Ned.

You let Michael
go in there on his own?

Jackie, he's never
told a lie in his life.

Well, he's making up
for it now, so.

Right, Ned. It shouldn't be
too long now...

before I can issue the check.

Don't take too long now, Jim.

I'll be losing interest
on that money.

Right, well,
I'd best get back to Dublin.

There's a lot of paperwork
to be sorted out.

Mind your head.

I will, thanks.

Ned, you did write your name
on the back of the ticket?

I did indeed.

Very sensible of you.
No one else can claim it on you.

That's right.

Only thing is,
it'll take a little bit longer.

I'll have to come back
and make some inquiries.

Like to make sure
that you are Ned Devine.

Well, congratulations, Ned.

Take care now.

- Are we rich, man?
- Or are you off to prison?

We're not rich, and
I'm off to prison soon enough.

But I saw the man's face.
He thinks you're Ned.

He believes it now...

but he's coming back
in a few days...

to ask questions in the village.

But all that laughing.

Jackie, the winnings
is almost seven million.

God in heaven!

This is how Ned must have felt
coming so close to a fortune.

At least we've not
woken up dead in heaven.

No...you're alive
with prison to go to.

If I'd have known
how much was won...

I'd never have started
in the first place.

Oh, Lord, this is
getting awful serious.

It's desperate.

God, you did well today, man.

Me and the whiskey.
But Annie is still livid.

Ah, she'll come round.

What a performance that was.

Your Jessy would have
been proud of you.

That she would.
God bless her.

I'd swear she was there today.

But Jessy or not,
I can't keep it up.

Are we off to prison?

Ned doesn't want us in prison.

But I can't believe
he wants us...

to be multi-millionaires,
either.

Was any of this in the dream?

No, no.

No, this is for you and me
to work out, Michael.

Ah, good night.

Good night.

Finn?

Finn, are you there?

Of course I'm here.
I'm always here.

I thought
I'd come up and see you.

I thought I'd come up
and see you!

- Right.
- Are you all right?

Great.

Are you sure?

Go on.

Full of the joys, boys.

What have you been doing?

I've been thinking.

What have you been thinking?

Oh, I've had a few thoughts.

I thought about punching
Pat Mulligan in the face.

I thought about telling Maurice
I was the real father.

And I thought strawberry soap
would make all the difference.

Finn, I love you.
You know that, don't you?

If it weren't for the pigs,
I'd marry you tomorrow.

It's all been said before.

Anyway, I quite like
working with the pigs.

I get very attached to them...
despite the smell.

He's promising
to look after me.

Me and Maurice.

You mean look after...
or do you mean pay for?

What?

Maurice belongs
with his real father.

Or is Pat Mulligan the father?
Is that what all this is about?

- No, I'm sorry, Finn.
- Will you tell me?

I have to go.

I have to go.

Is he mine, Maggie?

You're a country boy, Jackie.

Do you think you can outsmart
the man from the city?

I know what Ned wants, Annie.

I'm sure of it now.

Jackie, Ned is dead.

The game's moved beyond
talk of dreams and spirits.

A crime has been committed.
It's a fraud.

I don't want you
worrying about me.

I'm not worried
about you, Jackie.

You'll manage.
I think I could probably manage.

But if anything
happens to Michael...

then God help you, Jackie...

for he will suffer.

How much am I worth to you,
Jackie?

Oh, Annie...

No, how much?

How much for Michael?
For the farm?

For God's sake, what are you
going to do with...

seven million pounds?

- I know--
- No.

Stop.

You're on your own from now on.

I'm not a great man for telling
things the way they are.

I mean, I've been known
to add a little color...

to stories and riddles
for the benefit...

of those that'll listen.

Yet, here tonight...

I can swear
that all I've told you is true.

The money will be claimed...

and divided equally
between the 52 of us.

Now, I was wrong to think
I could claim the money myself.

That's not what Ned wants.

He wants us to share
the winnings.

A nest egg for us all.

So now, if the lotto man
comes to the village...

you say that Ned Devine
is alive and well...

and you point your finger
to Michael O'Sullivan.

- Jackie.
- Yes?

How are we going to recognize
the lotto man when he comes?

He sneezes.

He sneezes?

He gets hay fever
when he's in the country.

Enough of the sneezing.
How much has been won?

Yes, yes, in a minute.

Now, everyone in favor
of claiming the money...

should visit me
before sunset tomorrow.

If we're not all committed,
there'll be no claim.

I'll make my way to Dublin
to face the authorities alone.

How much has been won?

And so we move on
to the claim itself.

The total amount
of the jackpot...

the total which will be claimed
and divided into shares of 52...

is 6,894,620 pounds.

What changed your mind?

You're no good to me in prison.

130,000 pounds each.

If they come, they'll be
coming for the money...

not for the spirit
of Ned Devine, I'm sure.

And if it's claimed
and spent at all...

he'll rest in peace.

And if you go to prison...

this will be our last night
together for ten years.

Then let's not waste it
sleeping.

If I had money enough to spend

And leisure time to sit a while

There is a fair maid
in this town

That surely
has me heart beguiled

Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips

I own she has me heart
enthralled

Will you bring us up
a cup of tea?

Annie, is there any milk?

You'll have to go
to the post office.

Lord.

- Good morning to you.
- How you doing?

Good morning.

Right.

Right.

Good luck.

Good luck.

- Hello.
- Hello, Kitty.

Now, Kitty,
do you remember who I am?

I do. I do, Michael.

You're Ned Devine.

Good girl, yourself.
Give her a drink, Annie.

Oh, thank you.

Now, I'll sign
on one condition.

Well, Kitty, we'd not really
counted on conditions.

Oh, it's only
a very small one, Jackie.

Go on.

Of course you can.
That's no problem at all.

Oh, thank you, Jackie.

There we are.
Number thirty-eight.

We're nearing
the finishing line.

Well done, Kitty.

Thank you, Michael. Bye-bye.

Was it a big condition, Jackie?

Not at all. You're having dinner
with her next week.

- Hey, careful.
- Hey, hey.

Hey, Dennis, you just
jumped the queue. What is it?

- Jackie, it won't work.
- What?

We're claiming a check
that can't be cashed, Jackie.

Ned doesn't have a bank account.

What?

Now, I used to work at the bank.

It's not easy cashing
such a mighty check.

Did you think Mrs. Kennedy would
cash it at the post office?

We open a check account
in advance, off-shore...

maybe Jersey
and deposit 50 pounds.

Now, it's a joint account...

in the name of Ned Devine
and Jackie O'Shea.

- I'll pretend to be Ned--
- Slowly.

Well, you be yourself.

Now, the account's open a week.

Jackie puts Ned's check in.

He then uses his own signature
on the joint account...

to share out the winnings.

It's legal?

It's as close as
you'd want to get, boy.

- Do you understand it?
- Not a word.

Sit just there
and keep looking at the water.

- Where?
- Just there.

And what am I
supposed to be looking for?

Just sit there and keep quiet.

Maurice, do you think
Father Mulligan will approve...

of all this lotto business
when he gets back from Lourdes?

If you fill the collection box
and mend the church roof...

he'll be over the moon.

- Do you think so?
- I do.

What about Tullymore?

I mean, what happens if
everyone decides to move away...

and set up somewhere more
glamorous with their winnings?

No, the winnings will be spent
at Fitzgerald's.

A hundred thousand in the pub.

Jesus.

Jesus.

It's probably
being spent already.

Vodka tonic,
gin and tonic, Baileys.

There you go.
Where's Tommy's Baby Cham?

All right, all right.
I'm coming now.

Would you give me a chance?
I've only the one pair of hands.

Just a minute. Hold on, hold on.
Who's paying for this?

Who's paying for this lot now?

- I will!
- I will!

I never thought I'd see the day.

We should give her the day.

The sun's almost set.

I'm calling.

Are we done?

Michael, is your phone working?

Oh, God, no. They're all down
since the storm.

We're missing one.

But the village
is already celebrating.

It's Lizzy Quinn.

Lizzy Quinn, the witch.

God, if the village finds out,
she'll burn.

All right, that's far enough.

We don't want to frighten her.
Right, what have we got?

I've her toaster here.
It's all mended and tested.

- Good man.
- I've got some cat food.

Grand. And I've got
something for her meself.

Will I make you
a nice cup of tea, Lizzy?

No.

Should Jackie
get the fire going for you?

I'm not cold.

I brought you a little treat
here to have with your tea.

There we go.
Some nice coconut creams.

No, thank you.

So you came to get
my name on your paper?

Yours
is the only one missing, Lizzy.

Sure the whole village
is waiting for the news.

Give me your list.

And I am the only one missing,
you say?

You are.

Lizzy, 'twould be good
for the village.

Did you know that if you report
a fraud to the lotto...

you get
ten percent of the winnings?

Have you spoken to the lotto?

I'm not stupid enough...

to be bought
by your coconut creams...

and I'm not stupid enough
to call the lotto...

but ten percent
is 670,000 pounds.

Oh, Lizzy, how could you
bear to live in the village...

if you did a thing like that?

The whole lot of us
will be in prison.

Well, there's your answer.

There'd be no one here
to be bothered by.

You see, I'm after
more than a nest egg, Jackie...

and as I'm the only one
that hasn't signed...

I figure there's
some bargaining to be done.

You're a right witch,
aren't you, Lizzy?

This is my offer...

And in death
be there some peace.

An angel will cry
with choir and sing...

to lift out the spirit
that purity brings. Amen.

Amen.

So she'll sign
for a million, then?

A million?

She'll sign for the same as us
or get nothing at all.

- What if she calls the lotto?
- Will we call it off?

Don't mind her, boys.
She's trying it on.

Please be seated.

We are gathered here today...

to celebrate
the life of Ned Devine.

Ned Devine
meant something to you all.

And there in his passing...

he has made sure
that he has left...

a little something for you all.

Hello?

When we think of Ned's life...

when we think of the manner
in which he was taken from us...

we may find ourself thinking
that he was taken unfairly.

As we look back on the life of--

As we look back on the life of--

Ah-choo!

Who is he?

Michael O'Sullivan
was my great friend...

but I don't ever remember
telling him that.

The words that are spoken
at a funeral...

are spoken too late
for the man that is dead.

What a wonderful thing
it would be...

to visit your own funeral.

To sit at the front
and hear what was said.

Maybe to say
a few things yourself.

Michael and I grew old together.

But at times, when we laughed...

we grew younger.

If he was here now...

if he could hear what I say...

I'd congratulate him
on being a great man...

and thank him
for being a friend.

Steady.

Oh, for God's sake.

He must've been a great man,
this Michael fellow.

He had his faults.

Hello there, Ned. You well?

Not bad, Jim. Not bad.

Jackie. I'm sorry about
interrupting like that earlier.

Jackie knows about
our business here, Jim.

Good. I'm glad you have
a friend you can confide in.

And will you be
making your inquiries today?

Oh, no. There's no need.

The village says you're Ned.
That's good enough for me.

I can issue you the check today.

Although, are you sure
this is a good time?

It is, Jim.
As good as any.

All right.

You wouldn't like a drink?

No. I'd best leave you
alone now, Ned.

Tighten up your strings, boys.

Oh, that's great, Jim.
Mind your head there, now.

Will do now.
Well, the best of luck, Ned.

Give me a call if you need
any more advice.

And watch out for your friends.

Don't be spending
all your money in one go.

Oh, no. I wouldn't do that.

Jackie, good luck to you.
Take care.

- Good luck, man.
- Look after himself now.

- I will, I will.
- All right, best of luck.

Thanks, Jim.

Pints are on the house!
Pints on the house!

Hi, Maggie.

Finn, you're stinking.

- Oh, sorry, Maggs.
- Stinking rich.

No more pigs.

No more pigs, Maggie.

Ah, come for a whirl, girl.

You have beautiful calves.

Any news from the witch?

No, Brendy.
We heard the last from her.

What if she calls the lotto?

She won't call.
Anyway, the phones are down.

What's she going to do,
walk to Dublin?

I'm watching you, fella.

Go on, boys. Give it a lash.

Bitch. Bitch.

Whoo!

Go on, boys.

National Lottery.

Give it a lash.

Go on, boys.

- Hello?
- Ah-choo!

Aah!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Huh? Unbelievable.

Get your hands off those.

- Hello.
- How are you, Jackie?

All right, darling.

I was just looking
at your man there, Al Capone.

Jackie, would you say
Maurice needed a father...

more than seven million pounds?

I'd say he needed
a father more than 50 million.

That's what I thought.

But what are you saying?

How would he be entitled
to the money?

Ned does have family, Jackie.

No.

You'll not tell a soul now.

Maurice is the millionaire?

Yeah.

He treated me better
than any man before.

You must take it all, Maggie.

Take it all. Put it away
for yourself and the boy.

No, no.
Maurice can do without it.

Besides, Finn would know
he wasn't the father.

I can do without the millions,
but I can't afford to lose Finn.

Sure, 130,000 each is plenty.

- Slainte.
- Slainte.

Come on now.
We're almost at the top.

We can sleep it off later
like the rest of them.

Do we all have a drink?

Here, Maurice.

Take a drink
and remember the man.

Then raise your spirits
to the sky.

Raise them to Ned Devine.

God bless you, Ned...

and may we be
forever in your debt.

To Ned Devine.

To Ned.

To Ned.

To Ned.

Fill to me the parting glass

And drink a health

Whate'er befalls

Then gently rise

And softly call

Good night and joy

Be to you all

Of all the comrades

That e'er I had

They're sorry for my going away

And all the sweethearts

That e'er I had

They'd wish me
one more day to stay

Since it fell into my lot

That I should rise

And you should not

I gently rise

And softly call

Good night and joy be to you all

But since it fell into my lot

That I should rise

And you should not

I gently rise and softly call

Good night and joy be to you all

So fill to me the parting glass

And drink a health

Whate'er befalls

Then gently rise and softly call

Good night and joy be to you all