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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,397 You've got it! Come on! Do it, babe! 2 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,590 Come on, babe. Push! 3 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,234 Ooh! Ooh! Ooooh! 4 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,872 Push, push. 5 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,751 You can do it! 6 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,358 Push! 7 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,119 Ooh, it's a big 'un. Oh, I can feeI it coming. 8 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,673 (grunts) 9 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,235 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, dear! 10 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,350 - One more push. Oh! - Come on! 11 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,277 One more! 12 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,470 Come on! Try and push! 13 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,757 (increasingly rapid beeps) 14 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,995 I can see its head. Come on, Mrs Smash. 15 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,837 (screams) 16 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,312 It's a fIyer! 17 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:12,590 - (applause) - Well done! 18 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,152 It's a boy, Mr Smash. 19 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,312 That was the first day of my life, ever. 20 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,669 - (baby cries) - (sobbing) Grab this, Doc. 21 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:23,994 For about 30 seconds,... 22 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,554 ..my mum and dad were the happiest people in the world. 23 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,592 - (doctor) Say cheese! - And then it happened. 24 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:31,073 (baby farts) 25 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:32,473 (gurgles) 26 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,993 (farts through baby intercom) 27 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,395 And it never stopped happening. 28 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,395 Your turn, darling. 29 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,675 (yawns) 30 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:51,271 (steamy whoosh) 31 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,549 (Ioud fart) 32 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,389 (china smashes) 33 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,832 (farts) 34 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,073 Go to sleep. 35 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,039 (farts) 36 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,229 Dad found my problem really hard. 37 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,317 But for a while, he coped really well. 38 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,231 (muted fart) 39 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,516 (explosion) 40 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,469 One time,... 41 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,556 ..he really thought he'd solved it. 42 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,592 - (farts) - I'd play in my playpen for hours... 43 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,790 ..while he'd read the paper. 44 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,639 (farts) 45 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,191 (gurgles) 46 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,035 (farts) 47 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,155 Uh! 48 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,630 - (fart roars) - Aaah! 49 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:51,589 That time, Dad went to hospital for ages. 50 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:57,033 When he got home, he had to work nearly all the time. 51 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,036 (mother) Don't go, please! 52 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:01,753 In the end, Dad decided to go to work forever. 53 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,109 - (car engine starts) - I can't do it any more! 54 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:08,119 - (wails) - (sobs) Get away from the car. 55 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,355 (mother wails) 56 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:15,989 After that, my sister Denise didn't talk to me much. 57 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,398 Even my mum went a bit quiet. 58 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:32,789 Got your Iunchbox? 59 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,910 So I was really looking forward to going to school... 60 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,155 ..and making some friends. 61 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:39,350 Give Mummy a kiss. 62 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,152 - (farts) - Oh. 63 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,668 (teacher) Morning, children! 64 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,632 (children) Morning, Miss Little. 65 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,954 Children, this is Patrick Smash. 66 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,195 Patrick Smash, say hello. 67 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,352 (Ioud fart) 68 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,596 It wasn't a good start. 69 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,870 - (children chant) Fart boy! - Sit down, children. 70 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,832 All the kids pointed and shouted. 71 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,031 Except one. 72 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,870 That was the day I met Alan. 73 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,672 (chuckles and farts) 74 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,795 We did everything together. 75 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:21,069 I don't know what it was, we just clicked. 76 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,515 Alan was great. He liked me for who I was. 77 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,835 And he didn't care about my problem. 78 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:29,275 (Ioud fart) 79 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,679 Alan had no sense of smell. 80 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,638 Alan was my best friend. 81 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,869 Alan was my only friend. 82 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,790 But every day was a constant struggle with my problem. 83 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,308 And every day, I tried to avoid... 84 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,439 ..Damon. 85 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:55,632 Look who it isn't. Patrick Smash. 86 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,399 What are you doing in my corner of the playground, Smash? 87 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,034 You ain't nothing but a big, fat Ioser. 88 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,433 Give us your Iunchbox. 89 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:04,471 (children shout and laugh) 90 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,955 - Ugh. What's this crap? - It's speciaI food,... 91 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,877 ..to help me with my problem. 92 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,276 No, it's not. It's crap! 93 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,914 I want jam tomorrow. AII right? 94 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,029 Hello, Patrick. 95 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,516 - How progresses the day? - AII right, thanks, AIan. 96 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,394 Oh, no! We've been invaded by creatures from the planet Zorg! 97 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,271 (boys giggle) 98 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:33,632 The nearest star, Proxima Centaura, is four Iight years away. 99 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,070 It is debatabIe that this steIIar body... 100 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,872 ..holds within its gravitational pull... 101 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,718 ..a planetary system of any kind,... 102 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,990 ..Iet aIone one that goes by the appeIIation of Zorg. 103 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,554 - If we widen our... - Shut up, Zorg boy. 104 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,350 Good one, Damon. 105 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,072 You suck, Zorg boy! 106 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,509 (kicks Iunchbox) Idiot. 107 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,993 What am I, Patrick? 108 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,199 Um... 109 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:00,629 Alan? 110 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,159 I'm a bIithering idiot. 111 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,351 My attempt to embarrass them with my astrophysics... 112 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,790 ..was, quite frankly, a foolish waste of time. 113 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,594 Alan, why do you talk in that funny way? 114 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,032 I speak with cIarity and precision. 115 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,914 The ability to utilise language is just one of my many talents,... 116 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,111 ..talents which will enable me to realise my dream. 117 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,718 - What dream? - I am an inventor, Patrick. 118 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,832 Currently, I am engaged in the creation of a machine... 119 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:34,953 ..that will fly without depleting the earth's precious resources. 120 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:43,951 I wiII buiId that machine. 121 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,709 I wiII win that competition. I am AIan. I am me. 122 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,228 That is what makes me strong. 123 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,312 ( sings in ItaIian) 124 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,437 Sir John, are you... are you all right? 125 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,630 Fine, dear Iady. 126 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:22,433 It is, quite simpIy, my craft. 127 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,831 Sir John Osgood, children. 128 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,190 The second-greatest tenor in the world! 129 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,708 Thank you very much, Sir John. 130 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,876 - I'm so gratefuI. - PIeasure, headmistress. 131 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:35,956 - (chuckles) - All stand. 132 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,912 Right, you Iot. AbsoIute siIence! 133 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,430 Not a peep. Not a sound. Not a whisper! 134 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,232 Not a breath. 135 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,229 Let us pray... 136 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,999 ..that when you grow from children... 137 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,190 ..into sensible adults,... 138 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,596 ..you will have a talent close to mine. 139 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,430 Let us give thanks for the gift... 140 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,391 ..of my music. 141 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:04,919 Let us pray... 142 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:09,795 ..for healthy ticket sales for my upcoming world tour. 143 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,799 And now, silence,... 144 00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:17,152 ..for a few moments of inner contemplation. 145 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,509 Uh... 146 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,631 Ah! 147 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:35,388 (Iong, Ioud fart) 148 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,471 (children groan) 149 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,791 (steamy whoosh) 150 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,479 (headmistress) Smash! 151 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,118 You have ruined Sir John's visit! 152 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,037 You are, without a shadow of a doubt,... 153 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,390 ..the foulest little creature to walk the earth. 154 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,351 Now, get out! 155 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:06,719 That was the worst day of my life, ever. 156 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,637 Fart boy! 157 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:12,795 (Headmistress) I'm sorry. TerribIy sorry. 158 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:14,637 Would you like to retire to the staff room... 159 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,272 ..for a Bourbon biscuit and a cup of tea? 160 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,990 There you go, sweetheart. 161 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,916 There's your beans. 162 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,119 I'd had enough. 163 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,912 I was fed up. 164 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:39,035 At moments like this, I'd think about my dream. 165 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:42,197 (TV) The latest rocket in the Zeus programme... 166 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:49,157 (Patrick) I dreamed that one day I'd become a spaceman. 167 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:53,432 (TV) ..for a series of complex, highly technical experiments... 168 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,754 ..in zero gravity. 169 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,756 Oh. And there she goes. 170 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,835 There she does indeed go. 171 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,996 "Dear Space Centre. Today I watched the space launch on TV. ' 172 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,756 "I want to be a spaceman. " 173 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,510 "But I have a problem. " 174 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,755 "I cannot control my arse. " 175 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,279 "Would that be a worry?" 176 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,515 "Love, Patrick Smash. " 177 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,836 (TV) I'm joined now by General Ed Sheppard,... 178 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:26,316 ..commander-in-chief of operations at the US Space Centre. 179 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,158 General, that was an incredible launch. 180 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,714 You must be... over the moon. 181 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,478 - (chuckles) - Indeed we are, Todd. 182 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:37,876 Tell us, General, what makes an astronaut? 183 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:40,354 I'll tell you what makes an astronaut, Todd. 184 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,073 You gotta be focused, determined... 185 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,714 ..and in complete control of yourself. 186 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:48,832 But most of all, all of my astronauts,... 187 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,039 ..each and every one has worked hard... 188 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,389 ..to overcome their problems. 189 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,670 And each one of them... 190 00:12:56,720 --> 00:13:00,633 ..is a uniquely gifted individual. 191 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,592 (Todd) The crew must be really special people. 192 00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:08,191 General, thank you for taking the time to talk to us today. 193 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:10,629 - And good luck with the mission. - Thank you, Todd. 194 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,672 And cake news.: 195 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,280 Today, a local lady achieved national... 196 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,834 Overcome my problems. 197 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:23,271 Uniquely gifted individual. 198 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,239 Alan. 199 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,269 (Alan) Fascinating! 200 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:31,675 So you would like me to eliminate... 201 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,188 ..that which has made you an outsider... 202 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:35,912 ..in the eyes of society? 203 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,713 No, Alan. It's my arse. 204 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,236 I want you to make something to stop me farting. 205 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:44,871 My flying machine is proving to be... 206 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,354 ..a greater challenge than anticipated. 207 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,516 It shouId work, but it doesn't. 208 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,677 The flight competition is still a week away,... 209 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,996 ..so a day's respite will clear my mind. 210 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,075 Yes, Patrick. 211 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,749 I will construct a machine and before you know it,... 212 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,030 ..you will be in total control of your sphincter. 213 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,237 Does that mean you're going to help me? 214 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,635 Quite so, Patrick. Now, Ieave me. 215 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,636 (echoing) There is work to be done. 216 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:16,792 So with Alan's help, I felt sure we would succeed. 217 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:23,312 But things were already happening around us... 218 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,873 ..that would change our lives... 219 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:27,115 ..in ways we could never have guessed. 220 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,191 (shutter whirs and clicks) 221 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,711 (filing of metal) 222 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,155 (electric saw buzzes) 223 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,792 (drill whirs) 224 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,836 (banging) 225 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,550 (hissing and pinging) 226 00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:55,759 (buzzing) 227 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,358 (dogs bark) 228 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,673 - (cock crows) - (farts) 229 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,432 Thunderpants! 230 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,752 AII right, Patrick, we're ready for you! 231 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:32,075 (squeak of rubber stretching) 232 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,680 - (sighs) Ah! - Good. 233 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,870 The thunderpants will contain the emissions... 234 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,876 ..in the airtight rubber Iining... 235 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,559 ..within the rigid copper exoskeleton. 236 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:44,717 Now, evacuate into the holding unit. 237 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,116 Evacuate into the holding unit. 238 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,357 The Iunchbox. 239 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,470 There's a button on the handle. 240 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,111 (hissing) 241 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:05,999 A-ha! 242 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,635 The gases have been vented into this Iunchbox... 243 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:13,036 ..which will be able to hold a full day's emissions... 244 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,991 ..in perfect safety. 245 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,312 What do I do when it's fuII up? 246 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:19,759 Nothing could be simpler. 247 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,510 (buzzer) 248 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:36,678 (squelching) 249 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,038 (whistle blows) 250 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:43,599 (bell tings) 251 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:44,959 Gas transfer successful. 252 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,389 TotaI containment. 253 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,271 What am I? 254 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,836 I'm a blithering idiot. 255 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,279 A blithering idiot? 256 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,437 I'm a genius! 257 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:13,551 ( Richard Strauss.: Also Sprach Zarathustra) 258 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:25,989 Alan had done it. 259 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:29,669 He had managed to make me the same as everybody else. 260 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:33,156 It was the best day of my life, ever. 261 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:34,269 (rubber creaks) 262 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,390 AII stand. 263 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,157 Not a peep. Not a sound. 264 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,350 Not a whisper. Not a breath. 265 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,919 All of my astronauts, each and every one,... 266 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,110 ..has worked hard... 267 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,832 ..to overcome their problems. 268 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:16,510 And each one of them is a uniquely gifted individual. 269 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,120 Hello, Patrick. How progresses the day? 270 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:20,149 It's great, AIan. 271 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,192 I feeI Iike new! These thunderpants are briIIiant. 272 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,196 A first-class engineering job. 273 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,111 Clearly, continued monitoring of the situation is required. 274 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,354 But I have no doubt... 275 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,437 ..these pants will withstand the test of time. 276 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,118 Alan,... 277 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,354 Slight adjustment. 278 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:39,789 Alan, now you've solved my problem,... 279 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,717 ..can you find my unique gift? 280 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,229 Ah! That got it. 281 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,829 Your what? Gift? Oh, er, nothing could be simpler. 282 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,679 You don't have one. 283 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,278 (Damon) Oi, you! 284 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,911 Why are you in my corner of the playground, Smash? 285 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,793 But... I thought that's your corner. 286 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,593 Nah. I decided I didn't Iike that corner. 287 00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,676 I've chosen this corner instead. 288 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,836 AII right, fart boy, what's for Iunch? 289 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,355 - Don't, Damon, don't! - I... I... 290 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,517 I think it wouId be most unwise for you to disengage that... 291 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,279 Push off, Zorg boy! This had better be jam, Smash. 292 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,072 (farting) 293 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,790 'Gas transfer successful. ' 294 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,035 - (children jeer) - Bet he's not farting now! 295 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:36,069 I warned you, fart boy. I gave you every chance. 296 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,317 What d'you do? You fart in my face. 297 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,749 Well, now you're for it! 298 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,233 Get him! 299 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,709 (shouting) 300 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:46,829 (cloth rips) 301 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,110 (metaI cIanks) 302 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,275 (cheers) 303 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:58,834 (Ioud fart) 304 00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,436 (children groan) 305 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:06,314 (boy) Fart boy. 306 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,196 (children chant) 307 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,470 (chanting) Fart boy! Fart boy! 308 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,310 That was the worst day of my life,... 309 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,869 ..ever. 310 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:22,717 (TV) In space news today,... 311 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,639 ..the electrical systems on board the space station lcarus... 312 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,716 ..have caused concern. 313 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:33,788 lcarus Control tell us there is no cause for alarm. 314 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,037 Hello, Patrick. Mind if I come in? 315 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:48,310 - I missed you at schooI. - I'm not going back. 316 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,432 - I toId Mum I'm iII. - I repaired the thunderpants. 317 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,313 I don't care. I know now, AIan. 318 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,636 You told me, I haven't got a unique gift. 319 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,875 My dream's never going to come true. 320 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:02,354 But the thunderpants work. 321 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,630 They're stronger than ever now. 322 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,955 You can try to avoid Damon. 323 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:10,151 - That's your dream right there. - That's not my dream. 324 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,392 - I thought you wanted a cure. - I did. 325 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,512 But that wasn't my dream. 326 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,720 I want to be a spaceman. 327 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,918 I've aIways wanted to be a spaceman,... 328 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,837 ..ever since I was smaII. 329 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,952 I Iove rockets and I Iove space. 330 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,436 If I was a spaceman, I couId fIy into space... 331 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:38,678 ..and everybody will know it was me, Patrick Smash. 332 00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:42,269 I couId Iook down at the earth and it wouId be tiny. 333 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,390 People like Damon would be so small,... 334 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,112 ..you couldn't even see them. 335 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,755 You could hardly even see the country they were in. 336 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,279 And they'd Iook up to space... 337 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,629 ..and know that I was up there and I was free. 338 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,550 Patrick Smash,... 339 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,511 ..spaceman. 340 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:02,154 That's what they'II say. 341 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,990 Oh, good heavens, Patrick! Have you Iost your mind? 342 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:07,951 Why,... 343 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,309 ..to be an astronaut, you need training. 344 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,271 You need to be at a physicaI peak. 345 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,632 You need to have passed exams at the highest IeveIs. 346 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:17,999 Yeah. 347 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,791 Of course. 348 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:26,072 Patrick? I... I didn't mean... 349 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,431 I... I... Oh. 350 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,589 (sighs) 351 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,192 Good Lord! 352 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,992 What is it? Tell me. 353 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:17,068 Look at this. The boy's got two stomachs. IncredibIe. 354 00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,552 Like a cow. 355 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,068 Unbelievable. I've never seen the like. 356 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,479 Young Patsy is a unique individuaI. 357 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:29,034 - He's a medicaI phenomenon. - But why? 358 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:30,718 Why? Haven't a clue. 359 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:33,320 But for some unknown reason,... 360 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:35,635 ..Mother Nature has bestowed upon IittIe Patsy... 361 00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:39,036 ..a completely useless gift. 362 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,358 What was that bit about the... gift, Mr Doctor? 363 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,915 Gift. I said you've got a gift, young man. 364 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,679 Do I have to syringe out your ears as weII? 365 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:58,872 Let's get this young slacker back to school forthwith,... 366 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,878 - Mrs Crash. - Smash. 367 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,559 The doctor himself called me a unique individual. 368 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,750 A medical phenomenon. 369 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,268 He said I had a... gift. 370 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,988 That was the best day of my life, ever. 371 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,190 But what happened next was destined to change my life... 372 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,310 ..in ways I could never have guessed. 373 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,719 ( tenor sings in ltalian with piano) 374 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:36,477 Ecco Ia piu aIta nota di mai 375 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:39,114 Mai 376 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,875 (voice breaks) Mai... 377 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,475 ( singing continues) 378 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,355 Ecco la piu 379 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,155 Alta nota di mai 380 00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,911 - Mai - (Ioud fart) 381 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,315 (tunefuI squeaI) 382 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:04,271 (tunefuI squeaI continues) 383 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:06,231 - (glass smashes) - (fart) 384 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:09,669 You! 385 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,314 Boy! Yes, you. 386 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,475 What's your name? 387 00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,635 No! 388 00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,955 Don't run away! 389 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:25,038 (grunts and puffs) 390 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,239 Sir John! 391 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,635 That note! It was beautifuI. 392 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,398 Simply remarkable. 393 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,158 Amazing. 394 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:46,797 Only Placido P Placeedo has ever reached it before. 395 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:48,751 UntiI now, sir. 396 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,712 Gosh! You could be the world's number one. 397 00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,228 What? Oh, no, no. 398 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,475 That was the child who... 399 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,116 The child, sir? I... 400 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,910 The child! 401 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,310 You were right, Patrick. You do have a gift. Why,... 402 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,397 ..the configuration of stomachs... 403 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,716 ..puts me in mind of a fission chamber... 404 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,399 ..coupled with some kind of propulsion module. 405 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:21,716 This is exactly what I've been looking for! 406 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,074 Yes! 407 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,270 I might even use the thunderpants. 408 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:31,233 This could be revolutionary! Patrick, my friend,... 409 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,114 ..my flying machine will succeed after all. 410 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,559 What am I, Patrick? 411 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,391 - Er,... - (Alan's voice) I'm a genius. 412 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:42,910 - A genius? - No! No, no, no. Well, yes. 413 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:46,635 Actually, I am a genius, but I am also an imbecile. 414 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:49,592 The very thing I've been trying to contain... 415 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,358 ..is the very thing... 416 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,392 ..that will make us sail through the heavens! 417 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:56,677 It's the annuaI madness... 418 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,029 ..of the non-assisted flight competition. 419 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,831 A handsome cash purse awaits the first man or woman... 420 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:03,949 ..who can traveI 100 feet... 421 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,675 ..without the use of motors, engines, power cells or fossil fuels. 422 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,280 World-famous tenor Sir John Osgood,... 423 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,959 ..England's answer to Placido P Placeedo,... 424 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,468 ..has joined us to present the winning prize. 425 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:17,909 Sir John has found time in his busy schedule,... 426 00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,235 ..rehearsing for his world tour,... 427 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,918 ..where he hopes to reach the high note... 428 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,996 ..in Bartorelli's Unperformable Seventh. 429 00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,031 Just pop you there. 430 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,036 Ladies and gentlemen,... 431 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,719 ..please put your hands together... 432 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:35,275 ..for the second-best tenor in the world,... 433 00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:36,389 Sir John... 434 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,079 - ..Osgood! - (cheering) 435 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:57,590 - Radishes? Curried eggs? - Check! 436 00:28:57,640 --> 00:28:59,790 - Runner beans? Courgettes? - Check! 437 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,910 - Aubergine? Cabbage? - Check! 438 00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:03,279 - Spinach? - Check! 439 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,992 Sprouts? 440 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:07,757 No. You said you'd bring sprouts. 441 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,677 I most assuredIy did not. 442 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,630 You did, Alan. I remember. 443 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,398 You said! 444 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,870 I can't do it without the sprouts, AIan! I need 'em! 445 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,433 I need 'em! I need 'em! 446 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,959 I need... 447 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,794 Calm down, Patrick. Calm down. 448 00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,115 It's me. AIan. 449 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,310 We are Patrick and Alan, the team. 450 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:35,148 With your gift, my genius and our friendship,... 451 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:36,553 ..we can never go wrong! 452 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:40,357 - (applause) - Thanks, Alan. 453 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,436 Thanks for being a friend. 454 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:43,469 First up,... 455 00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:47,718 ..the flying Dutchman himself, Vincent Vincente,... 456 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,433 ..with his magnificent creation,... 457 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:52,471 ..Albatross lV. 458 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:53,919 (applause) 459 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,190 (announcer) OK. When you're ready,... 460 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:00,593 ..take it away, Vincent! 461 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:03,029 Now, isn't that beautifuI? 462 00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,311 Doesn't that remind you of an albatross? 463 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:10,114 Oh, dear. Perhaps more of a dodo. It's going nowhere. 464 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,276 (creaks) 465 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:16,438 Next up, Don Coaty with his vortex technology... 466 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,755 ..Hurricane of Power! 467 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,711 (cheering) 468 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:22,229 (cloth rips) 469 00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:27,115 And off they go, the Flight of Fancy! 470 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,592 Oh. 471 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,792 He's going... He's going... Oh! 472 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:36,831 A big round of applause for Mrs Bishop! 473 00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,030 Goodbye, Charles! 474 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,397 Ooh! 475 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,838 Lesley Parsons, if that takes off,... 476 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,711 ..I'II eat my hat! 477 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,554 (applause and cheering) 478 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:54,670 Oh, dear! 479 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,154 Bye-bye, Stephen. Have a nice time in hospitaI. 480 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,678 Oh, it's the Birdman himself,... 481 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,678 ..Jackie Jackson. Off you go, Jackie! 482 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,915 - (thump) - Nice to see you back, Jackie. 483 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,270 Oh, and, er, finally,... 484 00:31:09,320 --> 00:31:13,074 ..we have... Patrick Smash... 485 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,793 ..and Alan A Allen,... 486 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,115 ..with Thunderpants II. Hm. 487 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,310 Well, seems to be two young boys. 488 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,670 My apologies. I know you all want your tea. 489 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,837 Let's get a couple of shots of these clowns. 490 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,713 Quick as you can, boys. 491 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,952 (chatter) 492 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,115 Off you go. 493 00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,628 - Ready, Patrick? - I think so, AIan. 494 00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,716 Shall I fart now? 495 00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:41,875 Engage. 496 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:43,478 (Ioud fart) 497 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:50,872 (fart continues) 498 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:55,908 Look at this, everyone! Gary, wave them off! 499 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,436 They're moving! 500 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:01,436 They're moving forward. 501 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,113 This is absolutely amazing! 502 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,796 They're actually flying! 503 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,591 Go on! 504 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,279 (fart continues) 505 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,997 (whining and rattling) 506 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,678 (fart continues) 507 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:31,479 (crowd groans) 508 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:33,476 (fart continues) 509 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,713 Keep it up, Patrick. I'II get it! 510 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:39,118 (crowd) Phwoar! 511 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,116 (splutters) 512 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,594 - (tunefuI squeaI) - The note! 513 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,278 I haven't got much Ieft in me, AIan. 514 00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:50,199 - Keep going! You can do it. - It's no good, I can't! 515 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,597 Do it for me. 516 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,314 (Ioud fart, crowd cheers) 517 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,634 Come on! 518 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,796 Cheer them on, Iadies and gentIemen! 519 00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:04,751 They can do it! 520 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:09,833 Come on! This is the big one. 521 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,519 Ladies and gentlemen,... 522 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,154 ..this is an historic day! 523 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,512 - (cheering) - Patrick, we did it! 524 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,874 Patrick, let's make our next project Thunderpants lll. 525 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:29,480 A giant rocket with enough power to soar into space! 526 00:33:29,481 --> 00:33:31,277 Well done, boys! 527 00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,152 With your gift, my genius and our friendship,... 528 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,838 ..we'II never go wrong. 529 00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,711 ..as they crossed the finish Iine. 530 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,955 Patrick Smash and Alan A Allen... 531 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,150 (TV) ..in the most remarkable flying machine... 532 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,270 ..this reporter has ever seen. 533 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:49,029 (Osgood) Patrick Smash and Alan Allen! 534 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:50,513 Well done! 535 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:52,835 Ladies and gentlemen,... 536 00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:57,192 ..I give you the outright winners of 100 English pounds! 537 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,754 - (crowd cheers) - (phone rings) 538 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,995 - Johnson. - Sir. 539 00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:04,235 - Well? - Yes, sir, they did it. They won. 540 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,350 - Excellent. - Remarkable, sir. 541 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:09,669 (Patrick) So that was it. I'd conquered my problem... 542 00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:11,597 ..and found my gift. 543 00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:13,073 Alan was going to help me be a spaceman. 544 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,389 But first,... 545 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:22,399 ..I had some unfinished business to take care of. 546 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,830 - (boys Iaugh) - Oh, here's Zorg boy. 547 00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:34,793 I can't beIieve my eyes, Smash. You've got some nerve. 548 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,796 I finished you at schooI... 549 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,400 ..and now you show your stupid farty face in my place? 550 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,959 It's not your pIace. It's mine. 551 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,555 Oh! The worm has turned... 552 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,795 ..into a fart boy. 553 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:53,077 Well, fart boy, prepare to get slapped. 554 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,918 (groans, Ioud fart) 555 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,274 (boys cough and splutter) 556 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,275 Flaming 'eck. What's that? 557 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,629 (coughing and spluttering) 558 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,956 Go away! 559 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,511 (pants anxiously) 560 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,756 Uh! Get off! Uh... 561 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,155 You... You... You... You're a freak! 562 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:58,589 No! 563 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,835 (shouts) No! 564 00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,912 (wind howls) 565 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,232 (Damon's screams echo) 566 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:10,872 (explosion) 567 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:13,115 (Ieaves rustIe) 568 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:15,799 That was the best day of my life,... 569 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:17,998 ..ever. 570 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,149 Yes? 571 00:37:17,200 --> 00:37:21,193 Hello, Mr Allen. I just saw Alan going away. 572 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:22,639 Is he going to be Iong? 573 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,399 Because we need to do my dream. 574 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,557 I see. WeII, AIan has moved to pastures new. 575 00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,909 Oh. He Ieft a missive. 576 00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,988 "Patrick, my friend,... 577 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,473 ..regretfully,... 578 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:45,479 ..my genius is very much needed elsewhere at present. " 579 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,308 "Good luck with your dream. Sincerely, Alan A Allen. " 580 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:51,874 Is he going to be Iong, then? 581 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,393 Let me make this perfectly clear, Patrick Smash. 582 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,193 Alan has gone to another country. He won't be back. 583 00:37:58,640 --> 00:38:00,631 Another country? 584 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,239 (sighs) 585 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:07,991 I couldn't believe it. 586 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,270 Alan had gone. 587 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,470 I was all alone. 588 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,636 I didn't know what to do. 589 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,638 It was the worst day of my life, ever. 590 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,717 As the situation aboard lcarus reaches critical,... 591 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:22,875 ..US Space Control... 592 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,799 ..has admitted they are unable to launch a rescue mission. 593 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,796 General Ed Sheppard had this to say. 594 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,831 (reporters shout questions) 595 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,112 The prayers of the world... 596 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:36,754 ..are going out to those brave souls... 597 00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,677 ..who are stranded up there... 598 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:40,711 ..between heaven and earth. 599 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,910 The boys and girls at the Space Centre... 600 00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:47,829 ..are doing all they can to launch a rescue mission. 601 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,677 But I gotta tell ya,... 602 00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:52,910 ..we're plumb out of ideas. 603 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:54,951 We're in trouble. 604 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,991 We need a miracle. 605 00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,110 (doorbell) 606 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:03,233 (TV) Ed Sheppard there, speaking from lcarus Control earlier today. 607 00:39:05,720 --> 00:39:09,190 Young man, I wiII not take no for an answer. 608 00:39:09,240 --> 00:39:12,835 I wish to take you on a worId tour with me, Sir John Osgood. 609 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:17,476 You'II see things on the way you've onIy ever dreamt of,... 610 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:18,873 ..we'II visit countries... 611 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,036 Other countries? 612 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,753 Naturally, yes. Other countries. 613 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,392 AII right. 614 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,399 You'II hear me sing every night and you'II... What? 615 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,399 AII right, then. I'II go to other countries. 616 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,590 Ah... 617 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:37,877 I'II just get my things. 618 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:39,069 Right. 619 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,236 It's quite a day for you, boy. 620 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:45,034 So, from out of the blue, I'd been offered a chance,... 621 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,389 ..a chance to go to other countries. 622 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,591 If I went with Sir John, maybe I could find Alan... 623 00:39:50,640 --> 00:39:54,110 ..and we could be Patrick and Alan, the team, again. 624 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,277 I would take that chance. I would go with Sir John. 625 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,390 I would sing with my arse. 626 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,750 So, night after night, I did the high bit with my arse. 627 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,870 (tuneful squeal) 628 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:24,229 (wild cheering) 629 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,320 (speaks Spanish) 630 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:40,830 And day after day, I searched the world for my best friend. 631 00:40:47,720 --> 00:40:49,676 (tunefuI squeaI) 632 00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:52,910 (cheering and applause) 633 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,677 (whistling and cheering) 634 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:13,390 (tunefuI squeaI) 635 00:41:16,280 --> 00:41:18,589 (cheering and whistling) 636 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,077 (crowd) Encore! 637 00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,031 (whistling and applause) 638 00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:38,999 (sniffs) 639 00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:40,712 (mutters) 640 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,110 (tunefuI squeaI) 641 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,230 Again, boy. Again. 642 00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:52,714 But Mr John,... 643 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,069 - ..I'm so hungry. - Poppycock, boy. 644 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,236 Must practise! 645 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,989 If you don't finish, you won't get any pudding. 646 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,313 Don't you see, boy? 647 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:05,999 We can sing the high note now. 648 00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,553 We're at the top now. 649 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,273 Staying at the top, that's the challenge. 650 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,036 Practice. It's the onIy way. 651 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:20,393 I think I'II sIip out for a IittIe fettucine a Ia fIamadora,... 652 00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,830 ..with a nice chianti. 653 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,350 Practice! 654 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:34,791 (tunefuI squeaI) 655 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,229 (hoteI manager) Signor PIaceedo, you must wait. 656 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:39,874 Signor Osgood, he say no visitors! 657 00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,514 No visitors(!) He will see me. 658 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:47,829 Ma, I'ho detto che non po entrare, � prohibito. 659 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,838 - Sono iI direttore di questo aIbergo. - (tunefuI squeaI) 660 00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:54,998 O, Santa Madonna, ma che mi volete farmi uscire tutti pazzi oggi! 661 00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:59,033 Lo sai che ti dico, ma vafanculo puro ti, mi fai antipatia, mi fai! 662 00:43:05,240 --> 00:43:07,356 - (farts) - A child? 663 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,516 Here? 664 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,316 You, boy! 665 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,317 You know who I am? 666 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:24,352 You're the world's number two. 667 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,675 (shivers) Never. 668 00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:30,239 I am PIacido PIaceedo,... 669 00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,874 ..the greatest singer in the world! 670 00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:38,515 So, tell me,... 671 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,550 ..IittIe boy,... 672 00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,750 ..what do you do? 673 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,959 I carry Mr John's bags, make him drinks and sandwiches... 674 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,275 ..and I'm searching the worId for my friend AIan... 675 00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,276 ..so we can do my dream. 676 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,676 Oh, and I sing the high bit with my arse, Mr Ceedo. 677 00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:58,598 But that's a secret between me and Mr John. 678 00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,029 You are singing the high bit... 679 00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,396 ..with your arse? 680 00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:21,358 Hm. 681 00:44:21,920 --> 00:44:25,117 It might just work. 682 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,510 (hissing) 683 00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:44,912 ( sings in ItaIian) 684 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:10,674 (deep rumbling) 685 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:43,353 (audience gasp) 686 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:46,076 (tunefuI squeaI) 687 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:51,434 (glass smashes) 688 00:45:58,280 --> 00:45:59,633 (cries out) 689 00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:00,874 (farts) 690 00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:03,878 (tunefuI squeaI dies, fart continues) 691 00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:09,558 (farting continues) 692 00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:26,154 (squeals with delight) 693 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,394 - Fake! - (audience gasps) 694 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:32,273 - He is a fake! - (audience gasps) 695 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,231 (muttering) 696 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:41,389 It's the boy... 697 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,317 ..who is singing the note... 698 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,230 ..through his short trousers! 699 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,794 - (audience gasps) - No! Madonna! 700 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:50,956 It is I and onIy I,... 701 00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,116 ..Placido P Placeedo,... 702 00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,594 ..who is the number one singer... 703 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,710 ..in the world! 704 00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:01,955 And you, sir, are number two! 705 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,831 (astonished gasps) 706 00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:07,634 (audience) Bravissimo! Placeedo! 707 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:09,594 (creaking) 708 00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:14,149 Ah! 709 00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:16,668 - (crash) - (audience screams) 710 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,150 (commotion) 711 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,391 - Read all about it! - Latest edition! 712 00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:27,714 Flatulent boy held! 713 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,912 (ltalian reporter) ll mondo dell' opera, un crudele assassino... 714 00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,675 (Japanese reporter) Kyo, sekai namba wan no opera... 715 00:47:35,720 --> 00:47:37,278 (Spanish reporter) Todo esta revuelto... 716 00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:40,357 (US reporter) The opera world was in turmoil today... 717 00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:43,113 ..when the world's number one opera star was slain,... 718 00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:45,071 ..in a complex conspiracy... 719 00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,953 ..led by criminal mastermind Patrick Smash. 720 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,958 Placido P Placeedo was killed instantly... 721 00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:53,639 ..when a spotlight in Rome's Roma opera house... 722 00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:57,992 ..fell from the lighting rig, shaken loose by Patrick Smash. 723 00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,429 (reporter) Are you a murderer, Patrick? 724 00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:02,550 I didn't mean to kill Mr Ceedo. 725 00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:06,798 And I didn't know it was wrong to sing the high bit with my arse. 726 00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:08,558 I just want to find my friend Alan. 727 00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:11,876 I just want to be Patrick and Alan, the team, again. 728 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:14,718 I want to put my gift and your genius together,... 729 00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,512 ..so we can reach for the stars. 730 00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:19,951 I miss you, Alan. 731 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,468 And I'm scared. 732 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,034 (reporters and policemen shout) 733 00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:29,234 Is that him? 734 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:31,596 Yes, that's him. 735 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,511 That's Patrick. 736 00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,269 Read all about it! 737 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,357 Latest news! Fart boy on trial! 738 00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,709 - (customer) Six Heralds, please. - (vendor) Get your papers 'ere! 739 00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:45,877 - Echo, please. - Latest news on fart boy trial! 740 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,559 World holds its breath for fart trial! 741 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,795 (court clerk) Silence in court! 742 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:53,994 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,... 743 00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:55,951 ..Placido P Placeedo... 744 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,515 ..was without doubt the world's greatest opera singer. 745 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,074 A charming, talented man,... 746 00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:04,634 ..who, as I shaII show during this triaI,... 747 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,558 ..was humiliated and then cut down... 748 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,477 ..by this, this... 749 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:11,877 ..eviI chiId. 750 00:49:11,920 --> 00:49:13,990 (coughs from gallery) 751 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,917 (Osgood) I feeI such a fooI. 752 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,919 I gave him every chance and he threw it aII in my face. 753 00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:22,833 Then... 754 00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,477 ..he murdered the best friend... 755 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:28,636 ..I ever had. 756 00:49:29,040 --> 00:49:31,190 Everybody at schooI was scared of him. 757 00:49:31,240 --> 00:49:33,754 He attacked me for no reason with that... 758 00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,552 ..weapon of his. 759 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,388 - (muttering) - Order! Order! 760 00:49:40,320 --> 00:49:42,880 I have taught Patrick Smash... 761 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:43,955 ..for five years,... 762 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,672 ..at the end of which time,... 763 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:50,191 ..I Iooked behind his eyes and I saw... 764 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,158 ..pure eviI. 765 00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,113 You can clearly see... 766 00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:01,276 ..the deep crack in the metal,... 767 00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:02,833 ..a production flaw. 768 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,997 The bolt was substandard. It could've snapped... 769 00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:07,917 ..at any time. 770 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:12,670 Tell me, would you call yourself an opera lover, Mr Henderson? 771 00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:15,758 Well, no. 772 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,271 - I'm a metaIIurgist. - I see. 773 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,675 Do you Iisten to opera at aII? 774 00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:25,112 I'm sorry. I don't quite see the reIevance... 775 00:50:25,160 --> 00:50:28,789 The witness will answer the question. 776 00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:30,989 No. 777 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,316 I... I don't Iisten to opera. 778 00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,510 Thank you, Mr Henderson. 779 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:41,475 - But this is not about... - That will be all, thank you. 780 00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:46,552 It's cracked. 781 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:48,989 I see. 782 00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:52,237 And this would be around the time your best friend,... 783 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,032 ..your only friend,... 784 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,076 ..Alan, disappeared. 785 00:50:58,120 --> 00:50:59,792 Yes, sir. 786 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:02,149 Just as you received a cheque... 787 00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:04,873 ..for 100 English pounds. 788 00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,797 Yes, sir. 789 00:51:06,840 --> 00:51:08,478 How... 790 00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:16,390 ..convenient. 791 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:21,632 And so a picture has emerged,... 792 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:24,035 ..Iadies and gentIemen of the jury,... 793 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,036 ..a picture of a Ioner,... 794 00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,548 ..a strange, haunted child,... 795 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:33,797 ..who'd harass children younger, weaker than himself,... 796 00:51:33,840 --> 00:51:36,035 ..who'd bully those of whom he was jealous. 797 00:51:36,080 --> 00:51:37,513 A Iiar! 798 00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,636 A cheat. A thief. 799 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,672 A boy,... 800 00:51:42,720 --> 00:51:45,280 ..guilty of fraud, grievous bodily harm,... 801 00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,231 ..damage to property,... 802 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,316 ..reckless endangerment,... 803 00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:51,351 ..and now,... 804 00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,152 ..murder. 805 00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:58,551 (jurors) Guilty! 806 00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:01,635 - Guilty! - Guilty! 807 00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:02,750 Guilty! 808 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:14,879 That was it. I'd been at rock bottom before,... 809 00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:16,876 ..but this time I was even lower. 810 00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,229 Now I'd never get to do my dream. 811 00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:21,350 (shouts) Fart boy walking! 812 00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:25,279 I would never know what happened to Alan. 813 00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,074 It was the worst day of my life,... 814 00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:30,758 ..ever. 815 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,916 Squad,... (clears throat) 816 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,916 ..get ready. 817 00:52:41,560 --> 00:52:43,039 Take aim. 818 00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:49,630 (tyres screech) 819 00:52:49,680 --> 00:52:51,113 (car horn blares) 820 00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:54,277 And then it happened. 821 00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:01,349 Johnson J Johnson. 822 00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,914 United States of America SpeciaI Forces. 823 00:53:05,720 --> 00:53:08,280 Your British Home Secretary has authorised the transfer... 824 00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,151 ..of prisoner Patrick Smash... 825 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:13,192 ..into the custody of the United States Government. 826 00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:18,750 Our sincerest apologies... 827 00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:20,950 ..for the formalities, Mr Smash. 828 00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,356 We experienced severaI administeriaI deIays... 829 00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:27,949 ..in securing the appropriate papers from your British Home Office. 830 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:31,879 Somebody untie this boy, goddammit! 831 00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:40,115 Mr Smash, I wouId Iike to formaIIy request... 832 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:42,390 ..that you accompany us to a place where your unique gifts... 833 00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:46,149 ..are very much needed at this present moment in time. 834 00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,473 AII right, then! 835 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,795 (shouts) Let's move out! 836 00:53:53,040 --> 00:53:54,314 This way, sir. 837 00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:56,874 Thank you for your co-operation. 838 00:53:56,920 --> 00:53:59,798 You have yourselves a nice day, now. 839 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,034 Make yourself comfortable, Mr Smash. 840 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,559 We have a short drive ahead of us. 841 00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:23,319 Is there anything we can do for you, sir? 842 00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:25,832 No, thank you, Mr Johnson. 843 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:27,871 I don't mean to be any troubIe. 844 00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:31,230 No trouble, Mr Smash. No trouble at all. 845 00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:35,114 - Mr Johnson? - Yes, sir? 846 00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,310 Do you mind if I... 847 00:54:41,640 --> 00:54:45,349 - You go right ahead, sir. - Thank you, Mr Johnson. 848 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,550 Air Force Nine, this is Tower. 849 00:54:48,600 --> 00:54:50,556 You are clear for takeoff. 850 00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:05,670 This way, sir. 851 00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:11,434 Operation Hot Dog, you have clearance for the Smash kid. 852 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:15,992 (electronic door whirs) 853 00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,798 We've arranged a private room for your use. 854 00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,274 A change of clothes, personal hygiene kit... 855 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:23,912 ..and some refreshments. 856 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,269 We've selected a range of snacks... 857 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:29,153 ..that we hope will meet with your approval. 858 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:31,953 Now, with your permission,... 859 00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,155 ..there will be a briefing at 0200 hours,... 860 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,236 ..Greenwich Mean Time. 861 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,475 I suggest that you rest up tiII then, sir. 862 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:40,635 AII right, then. 863 00:56:29,240 --> 00:56:31,356 (sobs) 864 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:47,396 Air Force Nine, this is Tower. 865 00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,795 You are clear runway ten-niner... 866 00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,276 Chuck, take her on a heading of one-zero-niner. 867 00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:56,596 - Roger that, sir. - Let's take her home. 868 00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:58,756 How is the IittIe feIIa? 869 00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:01,271 He's crying. 870 00:57:10,840 --> 00:57:12,319 A-ha! Come in Mr Smash, sir. 871 00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:16,273 The briefing team is waiting for you. 872 00:57:18,360 --> 00:57:20,078 Alan! 873 00:57:22,560 --> 00:57:23,959 You Ieft me aII aIone! 874 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,673 I thought we'd put my gift and your genius together... 875 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:27,709 ..and do my dream. 876 00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:30,069 I've been Iooking for you everywhere. 877 00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:33,396 Patrick, sit down. I'II expIain everything. 878 00:57:33,440 --> 00:57:35,908 Now, Patrick, Mr Johnson... 879 00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,430 Alan told me that they'd found out how clever he was. 880 00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:43,439 They came to the flight competition to ask him to help them. 881 00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,677 He was working really hard to save the spacemen... 882 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,472 ..on space station lcarus. 883 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,751 He couldn't tell me because it was a secret,... 884 00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:53,836 ..but he really wanted to. 885 00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:55,996 There is a breach in the hull,... 886 00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,679 ..where the meteorite shower hit Iast week... 887 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,429 What happened next was destined to change my life for ever. 888 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:05,836 We decided that we should stage a rescue mission. 889 00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:10,112 But the sub-engines on the rescue rocket... 890 00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:11,957 ..have suffered a severe malfunction. 891 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,518 Some of our boys are up there, Mr Smash. 892 00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:18,636 And they're dying. 893 00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,479 Patrick, you know you have two stomachs. 894 00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:22,555 Yeah. 895 00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,431 Well, the clever people here... 896 00:58:24,480 --> 00:58:27,313 ..think that you can help the astronauts. 897 00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:29,828 Can you help us, slugger? 898 00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:33,031 Am I going to be a spaceman? 899 00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:37,517 Yes, Patrick. You're going to be a spaceman. 900 00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,999 (phone rings) 901 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,596 - Yeah? - Mr Smash is here, General. 902 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,038 Thank you, Annie. 903 00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:28,759 Johnson. 904 00:59:29,680 --> 00:59:31,591 So this is he? 905 00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:34,154 Thank the sweet Iovin' Jesus that you're here, son! 906 00:59:34,200 --> 00:59:36,668 The boys and girls... 907 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:40,508 ..at Space ControI have caIcuIated 908 00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,835 ..that we have a 24-hour window... 909 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:46,236 ..in which to Iaunch a rescue rocket. 910 00:59:46,280 --> 00:59:48,032 You're a fruit, son. 911 00:59:52,960 --> 00:59:54,439 Fruit, sir? 912 00:59:54,480 --> 00:59:57,074 The good Lord has Iooked down from on high... 913 00:59:57,120 --> 00:59:59,873 ..at those astronauts, and has shed a single tear. 914 00:59:59,920 --> 01:00:02,832 The single tear has fallen to the earth... 915 01:00:02,880 --> 01:00:04,950 ..and nursed a tiny seed. 916 01:00:05,000 --> 01:00:08,276 The seed became a sprout, that sprout has borne a bud,... 917 01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:12,029 ..that bud has brought forth a fruit! 918 01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:15,479 You're that fruit, son. Praise God! 919 01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:20,389 - Now, we have got work to do. - Come on. 920 01:00:21,600 --> 01:00:23,830 (Tannoy) Flight crew to Test Bay Four. 921 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:26,348 Repeat. Flight crew to Test Bay Four. 922 01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,878 Mr Smash, it is my duty to inform you... 923 01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,876 ..that what you are about to see is classified. 924 01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:34,309 Category triple A clearance. 925 01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:35,918 Son, I gotta teII ya,... 926 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:39,350 ..behind these doors is the secret... 927 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,119 ..of the USSC family. 928 01:00:44,120 --> 01:00:48,318 A family I sincerely hope that you will soon join. 929 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,559 - Alan. - Yes, sir. 930 01:00:51,600 --> 01:00:52,635 This is your show. 931 01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,719 - You take it from here. - (clears throat) 932 01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:59,759 (electronic voice) Scanning. Scanning. 933 01:01:01,640 --> 01:01:05,872 Agent Johnson J Johnson. You are clear to enter. 934 01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:12,672 (Tannoy) Control room crew, prepare for guidance verification. 935 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:29,989 Come on, Patrick. 936 01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:31,632 Let me introduce you to my team. 937 01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:33,796 The best of the best. 938 01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:40,239 Hello, everybody. 939 01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:41,838 Patrick, the guys. 940 01:01:41,880 --> 01:01:43,711 Welcome aboard, Patrick! 941 01:01:43,760 --> 01:01:46,752 This is a proud moment for us all. 942 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:49,519 Patrick, this is Jos�. 943 01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,471 Everything OK, Jos�? 944 01:01:51,520 --> 01:01:55,308 I'm sorry, Patrick, but I'm trying to expIain something... 945 01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,032 ..to those idiots in Launch ControI. 946 01:01:57,080 --> 01:01:59,435 They screwed up the inertiaI pIatform faiIure procedure... 947 01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,789 ..and they have misinterpreted the Iaunch teIemetry. 948 01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:03,558 They're driving me crazy! 949 01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:06,353 Calm down, Jos�. We'll sort it out. 950 01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:08,914 Why don't we ask the grown-ups to help? 951 01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:10,359 (giggling) 952 01:02:12,280 --> 01:02:14,589 - (clear throats) - Don't you see, Patrick? 953 01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:17,438 There are no grown-ups in research and planning. 954 01:02:17,480 --> 01:02:19,755 We make the decisions here. 955 01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:23,998 The grown-ups of the USSC are on a constant search... 956 01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:27,157 ..throughout the world to seek out children with gifts. 957 01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:29,668 That's why they came and found me. 958 01:02:29,720 --> 01:02:32,598 And that's why they found you, too. 959 01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:37,076 - But all I can do is fart. - Exactly, Patrick. Exactly. 960 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,917 (children) Mm-hm. 961 01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:42,794 This is the design of the revolutionary new jet engine,... 962 01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,400 ..the prototype for which... 963 01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,954 ..was built into the rescue rocket. 964 01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,399 But the engine coupling... 965 01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,590 ..was fused with the booster housing! 966 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:55,553 (tuts) That is my father's department. 967 01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,559 And this is a computer modeI of your stomachs. 968 01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,797 You see, you have that revolutionary new engine... 969 01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:04,717 ..there in your shorts, Patrick! 970 01:03:04,760 --> 01:03:08,196 Jos� worked on the module coupling. 971 01:03:08,240 --> 01:03:11,437 Yes. You will sit in this harness, above the boosters. 972 01:03:12,280 --> 01:03:14,350 We call it the Thermo Diaper. 973 01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:16,197 (Alan) Thunderpants lll. 974 01:03:16,240 --> 01:03:18,754 I have harnessed the fuII potentiaI... 975 01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:21,189 ..of your flatulence... 976 01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,231 ..and enhanced it exponentially. 977 01:03:24,800 --> 01:03:28,110 You're going to Iaunch the rescue rocket. 978 01:03:28,160 --> 01:03:31,869 You're going to Iaunch Thunderpants III! 979 01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:34,192 So that was it. 980 01:03:34,240 --> 01:03:35,958 I was going to launch that rocket. 981 01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,514 I was going to save the astronauts. 982 01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:41,120 I was going to be a spaceman. 983 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,196 My dream had come true. 984 01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:46,198 It was the best day of my life, ever. 985 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:50,190 (sighs) I... 986 01:03:50,240 --> 01:03:54,756 That boy in there has no stamina, no dexterity,... 987 01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,268 ..no strength and no experience. 988 01:03:58,080 --> 01:04:01,959 He's failed all the mental and physical tests in our lexicon. 989 01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:04,639 How are we gonna make this thing work, Ed? 990 01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,074 That child is a tool, Johnson. 991 01:04:12,040 --> 01:04:13,837 A tool, sir? 992 01:04:14,440 --> 01:04:19,230 A fragile tool which the good Lord has chosen to deliver to us. 993 01:04:19,280 --> 01:04:22,113 It's up to us to use it wiseIy... 994 01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:24,037 ..and use it well. 995 01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,672 That boy in there... 996 01:04:26,720 --> 01:04:31,714 ..has got the hopes and the fears of the American people... 997 01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:34,194 ..in his goddamn shorts. 998 01:04:35,360 --> 01:04:37,828 Amen, Ed. 999 01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:40,559 Amen. 1000 01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:48,352 (General) It's showtime, boys. Show me what you got. 1001 01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:00,998 (Tannoy) Please stand by for primary ignition test. 1002 01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:05,158 Patrick, give it a quick burn. Check out the hardware. 1003 01:05:05,200 --> 01:05:06,189 Roger. 1004 01:05:06,240 --> 01:05:08,356 Wilco, Alan. 1005 01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:18,789 (fart dies out) 1006 01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,598 - Wow. - Holy Mary, mother of God! 1007 01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:25,712 - Hot dog! - Some power you got down there! 1008 01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:29,673 (Tannoy) Launch in T minus 30 minutes. 1009 01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,075 Flight crew to Gantry Five. 1010 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,240 Son, may I shake your hand? 1011 01:05:40,600 --> 01:05:42,556 You've eaten... 1012 01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:46,229 ..every Ieaf vegetabIe and every bean product... 1013 01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:49,636 ..within a ten-mile radius of this place. 1014 01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:53,878 You've done a 12-year training course in two and a half hours. 1015 01:05:55,240 --> 01:06:00,268 And you possess the most powerfuI tooter I ever saw! 1016 01:06:00,320 --> 01:06:01,878 Whoa! 1017 01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:03,797 You got a heart of gold, son,... 1018 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:06,798 ..you've got the constitution of an ox. 1019 01:06:08,040 --> 01:06:10,873 And you've got pants of thunder. 1020 01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,314 Godspeed, Patrick Smash. 1021 01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:15,909 Thank you, Mr Ed. 1022 01:06:15,960 --> 01:06:18,190 Knock 'em dead, skipper. 1023 01:06:19,000 --> 01:06:20,558 Thank you, Mr Johnson. 1024 01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:21,828 What am I, Patrick? 1025 01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:24,633 You're the cleverest one of all. 1026 01:06:24,680 --> 01:06:27,274 And I'm proud. Good Iuck! 1027 01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:39,910 (cheering) 1028 01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:52,956 (TV) As the rescue rocket points to the skies,... 1029 01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:56,072 ..the world can only wait and hope... 1030 01:06:56,120 --> 01:07:00,033 ..and pray that they've found a way to lift that craft,... 1031 01:07:00,080 --> 01:07:03,038 ..those tons of equipment, that metal, plastic... 1032 01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,036 Hold on. 1033 01:07:05,080 --> 01:07:07,116 Hold on. They... 1034 01:07:07,160 --> 01:07:08,957 There is movement there. 1035 01:07:09,000 --> 01:07:11,673 There is definitely something going on... 1036 01:07:11,720 --> 01:07:13,472 ..near the command centre. 1037 01:07:14,840 --> 01:07:16,273 Uh, it seems... 1038 01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,392 - That's Patrick again, Iook! - Patrick! Look! 1039 01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:22,754 ..a very small man is... 1040 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:25,951 It's... It's a boy! 1041 01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:28,309 A... A boy astronaut... 1042 01:07:28,360 --> 01:07:30,316 ..of maybe nine or ten. 1043 01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:35,075 A buggy is making its way across the tarmac. 1044 01:07:35,120 --> 01:07:36,314 But now,... 1045 01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:38,430 ..now we can see a group approaching,... 1046 01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:40,675 ..walking towards the boy. 1047 01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:42,999 One of the men is, um,... 1048 01:07:43,040 --> 01:07:46,555 ..um, is,... shaking the boy's hand. 1049 01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:49,717 The eyes of the world are on you, Patrick Smash. 1050 01:07:49,760 --> 01:07:51,751 We all admire you. 1051 01:07:51,800 --> 01:07:53,995 God bless you and God bless America. 1052 01:07:54,040 --> 01:07:56,110 Thank you, Mr President. 1053 01:07:56,160 --> 01:07:57,513 Good Iuck, son. 1054 01:08:00,680 --> 01:08:03,069 (President) The boy's a miracle. 1055 01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,035 (children chatter) 1056 01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:28,030 Gentlemen, what have you got? 1057 01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,672 Electrical systems are go, sir! 1058 01:08:29,720 --> 01:08:31,472 Life-support system on Iine, sir. 1059 01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:33,351 Ignition systems on Iine, sir. 1060 01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,630 Methane filters engaged. 1061 01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,752 Cooling systems are green for go, sir. 1062 01:08:38,800 --> 01:08:40,518 Sulphur boosters are on line, sir. 1063 01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,159 Expansion chambers are primed for influx. 1064 01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:48,476 There you go, sir. 1065 01:09:53,040 --> 01:09:55,270 (radio) Flight pressurisation is under way. 1066 01:09:55,320 --> 01:09:56,753 We have a green light... 1067 01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,598 ..as the main engines, uh, as we prepare for ignition. 1068 01:10:02,080 --> 01:10:04,355 (chatter, phones ring) 1069 01:10:10,240 --> 01:10:12,390 Sir, I was running through the Iaunch sequence again... 1070 01:10:12,440 --> 01:10:16,353 ..and I've, uh, I've come across a probIem. 1071 01:10:16,400 --> 01:10:18,391 It seems that 20 seconds into the Iaunch,... 1072 01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:22,228 ..it's possible we might lose communication with the rocket,... 1073 01:10:22,280 --> 01:10:25,989 ..followed by a shutdown of life-support systems... 1074 01:10:26,040 --> 01:10:29,157 Cut to the chase, Foster. We're runnin' on fumes. 1075 01:10:29,200 --> 01:10:30,997 Sorry, sir. 1076 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,239 A chain reaction. 1077 01:10:33,920 --> 01:10:37,037 An explosion, sir. Total destruction of the rocket. 1078 01:10:37,080 --> 01:10:40,038 Goddamn! What's the chances of this happening? 1079 01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:41,991 Uh,... 1080 01:10:42,040 --> 01:10:44,474 ..79%. 1081 01:10:46,080 --> 01:10:47,672 (sighs) Sweet Jesus. 1082 01:10:47,720 --> 01:10:50,518 That gives us 21% to play with. 1083 01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:51,834 Alan! 1084 01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:55,556 A word in your ear, son, please. 1085 01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,592 We've got a problem here, um,... 1086 01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:01,234 (Tannoy) Final checks concluded. Stand by for launch. 1087 01:11:11,200 --> 01:11:13,873 (Alan) Patrick, we have a problem. 1088 01:11:13,920 --> 01:11:15,399 Hello, Alan. What's wrong? 1089 01:11:15,440 --> 01:11:18,910 There is a chance, Patrick, a big chance,... 1090 01:11:18,960 --> 01:11:22,396 ..that Thunderpants III wiII... 1091 01:11:22,440 --> 01:11:25,477 ..will blow up shortly after liftoff. 1092 01:11:25,520 --> 01:11:26,748 (gasps) 1093 01:11:32,520 --> 01:11:35,478 GeneraI Sheppard says that the decision is yours... 1094 01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:38,318 ..and... and if you choose to stay,... 1095 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:41,511 ..you're still a goddamn hero. 1096 01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:49,952 Alan,... 1097 01:11:50,000 --> 01:11:53,117 ..can I say something to everybody? 1098 01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:55,958 Go ahead, Patrick. 1099 01:11:56,000 --> 01:11:57,274 Hello, everyone. 1100 01:11:57,320 --> 01:12:00,357 My name is Smash, Patrick Smash. 1101 01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:02,595 And this is my dream. 1102 01:12:03,080 --> 01:12:06,789 I'm going to try my best to be a good spaceman. 1103 01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:10,389 I've never had the whole world rely on me before. 1104 01:12:10,440 --> 01:12:13,796 I mean, I do try to do my best at home,... 1105 01:12:13,840 --> 01:12:18,231 ..but I wasn't what my mum expected me to be. 1106 01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,750 I did try to do my best at school too,... 1107 01:12:21,800 --> 01:12:24,678 ..but I upset some of the other kids. 1108 01:12:24,720 --> 01:12:29,316 And I was a disappointment to the teachers. 1109 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:34,470 One time, I thought I'd found someone who would help me. 1110 01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:39,116 We went round the world together. We sang together. 1111 01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,310 But everything kept going wrong. 1112 01:12:41,360 --> 01:12:44,591 But then my friend Alan came and showed me... 1113 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,200 ..that what the spacemen need now is a friend. 1114 01:12:47,240 --> 01:12:48,673 I'm going to try and be that friend. 1115 01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:52,395 We are Patrick and Alan, the team. 1116 01:12:53,160 --> 01:12:56,357 And with my gift, your genius and our friendship,... 1117 01:12:56,400 --> 01:12:57,992 ..we can never go wrong! 1118 01:12:58,560 --> 01:13:00,551 And Alan,... 1119 01:13:00,600 --> 01:13:03,353 ..thanks for remembering the sprouts this time. 1120 01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:14,829 Who gave you Iadies permission to bIubber? 1121 01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:18,471 - Uh... - Patrick Smash,... 1122 01:13:18,520 --> 01:13:20,909 ..we salute you. 1123 01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:22,075 (all) Yes, sir. 1124 01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:23,792 Let's blow ass! 1125 01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,796 (chatter) 1126 01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:28,668 OK, Patrick. 1127 01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:30,551 We're ready for you, buddy. 1128 01:13:30,600 --> 01:13:32,113 (Tannoy) Guidance systems are on line. 1129 01:13:32,160 --> 01:13:34,469 Engage primary ignition system. 1130 01:13:34,520 --> 01:13:36,397 We're lookin' good. 1131 01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:39,036 T minus ten,... 1132 01:13:39,080 --> 01:13:40,274 ..nine,... 1133 01:13:40,320 --> 01:13:42,311 ..eight, seven,... 1134 01:13:42,360 --> 01:13:43,713 ..six,... 1135 01:13:43,760 --> 01:13:45,398 ..five,... 1136 01:13:45,440 --> 01:13:48,193 ..four, three, two,... 1137 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:49,389 ..one,... 1138 01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:18,149 Patrick... 1139 01:14:18,200 --> 01:14:19,997 Yes, Alan? 1140 01:14:20,040 --> 01:14:22,076 You've got to Iet one go now. 1141 01:14:24,160 --> 01:14:25,832 All right, then. 1142 01:14:25,880 --> 01:14:27,313 (groans) 1143 01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:31,950 (roaring fart) 1144 01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:01,870 (electronic voice) Gas transfer successful. 1145 01:15:15,840 --> 01:15:18,434 Ladies and gentlemen, we have liftoff! 1146 01:15:18,480 --> 01:15:20,277 (cheering) 1147 01:15:33,520 --> 01:15:36,751 - Congratulations, son. - Thanks. 1148 01:15:36,800 --> 01:15:38,597 Good work, Johnson. 1149 01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:43,231 (regular beeps) 1150 01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,312 (rapid beeps) 1151 01:15:47,360 --> 01:15:48,554 (screen crackles) 1152 01:15:48,600 --> 01:15:50,556 (intermittent beeps) 1153 01:16:02,040 --> 01:16:04,474 What's going on, Mr Johnson? 1154 01:16:04,520 --> 01:16:07,193 Um, we appear to have... 1155 01:16:07,240 --> 01:16:10,357 ..Iost communication with the rocket... 1156 01:16:12,440 --> 01:16:13,475 ..and Iife-support systems are... 1157 01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:35,909 Please, come on. 1158 01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:41,835 (mutters) 1159 01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:49,959 (tunefuI squeaI) 1160 01:16:54,840 --> 01:16:56,796 (tunefuI squeaI sweIIs) 1161 01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,916 That's the Bart Seven. 1162 01:17:03,360 --> 01:17:05,078 He's OK? 1163 01:17:05,120 --> 01:17:07,270 He's OK. He... He's OK! 1164 01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:08,715 He's alive! 1165 01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:10,910 (wild cheering) 1166 01:17:42,640 --> 01:17:44,710 And that's my story. 1167 01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:46,830 I'm just a nobody, really. 1168 01:17:47,600 --> 01:17:49,955 I've always been a nobody. 1169 01:17:50,120 --> 01:17:53,556 I'm not that clever. I'm not that brave. 1170 01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:56,398 But I did one thing right. 1171 01:17:56,440 --> 01:17:58,476 I found out what it was... 1172 01:17:58,520 --> 01:18:01,353 ..that made me who I am,... 1173 01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:03,868 ..that made me... me. 1174 01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:08,389 And that's my message to you. 1175 01:18:08,440 --> 01:18:11,238 You may think you have problems now,... 1176 01:18:11,280 --> 01:18:13,555 ..but are they really problems? 1177 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:16,949 Take them, look at them,... 1178 01:18:17,520 --> 01:18:19,556 ..use them. 1179 01:18:19,600 --> 01:18:22,160 Use them wisely and use them well. 1180 01:18:23,760 --> 01:18:25,352 And maybe,... 1181 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:27,513 ..just maybe,... 1182 01:18:27,560 --> 01:18:29,278 ..one day,... 1183 01:18:29,320 --> 01:18:32,676 ..your dream will come true. 1184 01:18:38,280 --> 01:18:41,511 (TV) Today, the world breathed a sigh of relief... 1185 01:18:41,560 --> 01:18:45,678 ..as the astronauts splashed down in the Pacific Ocean. 1186 01:18:45,720 --> 01:18:48,678 SS Neptune was on hand to pluck them out of the water. 1187 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:52,599 The astronauts spent 26 harrowing days in space,... 1188 01:18:52,640 --> 01:18:55,029 ..as hopes for their rescue slowly faded. 1189 01:18:55,080 --> 01:18:58,629 The day was saved by an unlikely hero,... 1190 01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:00,432 ..Patrick Smash. 1191 01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:02,118 General Ed Sheppard had this to say. 1192 01:19:02,160 --> 01:19:05,948 Praise God! This is our finest hour. 1193 01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:09,754 Thank you, Alan. Thank you, Patrick. 1194 01:19:09,800 --> 01:19:11,836 Thank you, Thunderpants! 1195 01:19:14,080 --> 01:19:18,039 (TV) New Yorkers turned up in their thousands today,... 1196 01:19:18,080 --> 01:19:20,435 ..for that most traditional of American celebrations. 1197 01:19:20,480 --> 01:19:23,836 A ticker-tape parade through Manhattan,... 1198 01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:26,713 ..in honour of the biggest hero of them all... 1199 01:19:26,760 --> 01:19:29,433 ..Patrick Smash! 1200 01:19:31,560 --> 01:19:33,551 Mr Smash said... 1201 01:19:34,280 --> 01:19:36,635 .. "It was the best day of my life,... 1202 01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:38,591 ..ever. " 1203 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:51,069 AllStars.: We're goin' all the way 1204 01:19:51,120 --> 01:19:54,271 Oh, no matter what they say 1205 01:19:54,800 --> 01:19:56,995 We won't give up 1206 01:19:57,040 --> 01:19:58,792 We won't give up 1207 01:19:58,840 --> 01:20:02,799 We're on our way... 1208 01:20:05,200 --> 01:20:07,953 He was a breath of fresh air to this schooI. 1209 01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:11,277 Patso Smash? He taught me to respect others. 1210 01:20:11,320 --> 01:20:13,311 And to Iove myseIf. 1211 01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:16,671 We did it, Patrick. 1212 01:20:16,720 --> 01:20:19,314 We really did it, didn't we? 1213 01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:22,630 I don't see what aII the fuss is about. 1214 01:20:22,680 --> 01:20:24,955 AII he did was fart. 1215 01:20:25,960 --> 01:20:27,313 Uh, a teacher? 1216 01:20:27,360 --> 01:20:29,078 Yes, um... 1217 01:20:29,120 --> 01:20:31,953 I prefer to think of him as... 1218 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,070 ..the son I never had. 1219 01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:36,998 Here's some more books, Father. 1220 01:20:37,920 --> 01:20:39,638 What A Note, my new book. 1221 01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:41,796 I'm signing copies here in this bookshop. 1222 01:20:42,200 --> 01:20:44,919 A really talented young man,... 1223 01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:48,475 ..whose gift we recognised early on. 1224 01:20:49,240 --> 01:20:52,710 We Iove you, Patrick Smash! Hooray! 1225 01:20:56,160 --> 01:20:58,958 He always spoilt everything and he ends up a hero. 1226 01:20:59,000 --> 01:21:00,752 Well, big deal! 1227 01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:03,075 I hated him then and I hate him now. 1228 01:21:04,840 --> 01:21:05,989 That enough? 1229 01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:07,871 AII right. That's enough. 1230 01:21:07,920 --> 01:21:09,512 Stop it! 1231 01:21:26,360 --> 01:21:29,909 The future Iies within our hands 1232 01:21:30,480 --> 01:21:33,631 Now it's time to make a stand 1233 01:21:33,680 --> 01:21:35,750 Put heart and souI 1234 01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:39,190 In what we beIieve in 1235 01:21:40,280 --> 01:21:41,315 Yeah 1236 01:21:41,360 --> 01:21:43,635 It doesn't matter 1237 01:21:43,680 --> 01:21:45,272 Who you are 1238 01:21:45,320 --> 01:21:47,231 Keep Iookin' for 1239 01:21:47,280 --> 01:21:49,111 The brightest star 1240 01:21:49,560 --> 01:21:51,073 Don't Iook back 1241 01:21:51,120 --> 01:21:54,556 Just keep achieving 1242 01:21:54,600 --> 01:21:56,431 Yeah 1243 01:21:56,840 --> 01:22:02,870 Everlasting, now we're on our own 1244 01:22:04,560 --> 01:22:11,432 Never-ending fight to take controI 1245 01:22:11,480 --> 01:22:15,155 We're goin' all the way 1246 01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:17,714 Oh, no matter what they say 1247 01:22:19,200 --> 01:22:20,918 We won't give up 1248 01:22:20,960 --> 01:22:22,996 We won't give in 1249 01:22:23,040 --> 01:22:26,077 We're on our way 1250 01:22:26,120 --> 01:22:29,351 We're goin' all the way 1251 01:22:29,400 --> 01:22:31,072 Yeah 1252 01:22:31,760 --> 01:22:33,398 Got to make 1253 01:22:33,440 --> 01:22:35,078 A master plan 1254 01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:37,111 Show the worId 1255 01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:38,798 Every woman and man 1256 01:22:39,320 --> 01:22:40,912 Workin' night and day 1257 01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:44,319 To make it better 1258 01:22:44,480 --> 01:22:46,869 Yeah, yeah 1259 01:22:47,160 --> 01:22:48,639 Use your head 1260 01:22:48,680 --> 01:22:50,398 And use your heart 1261 01:22:51,120 --> 01:22:52,633 Know your mind 1262 01:22:52,680 --> 01:22:54,272 Right from the start 1263 01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:56,313 Play to win 1264 01:22:56,720 --> 01:23:00,633 The only thing that matters 1265 01:23:02,160 --> 01:23:07,996 Everlasting, now we're on our own 1266 01:23:09,640 --> 01:23:16,751 The never-ending fight to take controI 1267 01:23:16,800 --> 01:23:20,429 We're goin' all the way 1268 01:23:20,480 --> 01:23:23,552 No, no matter what they say 1269 01:23:24,560 --> 01:23:26,198 We won't give up 1270 01:23:26,240 --> 01:23:28,117 We won't give in 1271 01:23:28,160 --> 01:23:32,199 We're on our way 1272 01:23:32,240 --> 01:23:34,310 We're goin' all the way 1273 01:23:34,360 --> 01:23:35,918 AII the way 1274 01:23:35,960 --> 01:23:37,996 No, no matter what you say 1275 01:23:38,040 --> 01:23:39,758 No matter what you say 1276 01:23:39,800 --> 01:23:41,711 We won't bow down 1277 01:23:41,760 --> 01:23:43,955 No turning back 1278 01:23:44,000 --> 01:23:46,230 The world is ours to take... 89388