Original subtitles

(Festive Music)

♪ Jingle bells and colored lights ♪

♪ Cocoa after snowball fights ♪

(Phone Ringing)

JILLIAN: Hey, Zoe.

ZOE: Wake up, woman!

You're trending.

JILLIAN: What?

ZOE: The article has landed.

Lace up, New York.

Jillian Welles has arrived.

JILLIAN: Wow.

ZOE: Your life is turning into one big Sparksy app.

I just sent you the link, laters.

JILLIAN: Thank you.

George. GEORGE: Hmmm?

JILLIAN: Look.

GEORGE: "New York's next political power couple."

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: Don't you love it?

GEORGE: Oh, it's about time.

JILLIAN: So good.

GEORGE: Yeah, let's get to it then, huh?

JILLIAN: Get out of here!

(Laughing)

(Jingle Music)

GEORGE: The City Oasis Project.

Something special.

Something that we can build for our children

so they can hand it down to their children.

This is our home.

Do we need another condominium development?

CROWD: No! GEORGE: That's right.

This can be a space where everyone in the community

can come together, share.

Where you can learn to cook a fiesta

and you can learn to code if you liked.

Where we can all come together to connect,

lean, exercise, socialize.

We can't just keep adding buildings.

(Phone Buzzing)

GEORGE: In short, my friends,

what we need to ensure we build here

is a greater sense of community.

Thank you all so much for coming.

(Applauding)

JUAN: Miss Welles.

Miss Welles, when Councilmen Beauman first ran,

didn't he say that housing and development

were the path to the future?

JILLIAN: I don't recall him ever saying that, Juan,

but I will look into it for you.

Excuse me, Lorraine!

Love the hat.

You have such an amazing sense of style.

Good to see you, excuse me.

THERESA: Jillian!

There you are.

Hot off the presses.

Pancake Breakfast Rally on the 15th with George

leading the charge to city hall.

JILLIAN: I love it.

It's gonna be a tremendous success.

THERESA: Oh, since you got George on board,

I am finally starting to believe that

the City Oasis Project is gonna happen.

JILLIAN: Well it is our number one priority.

THERESA: Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.

The other day, I came across the most adorable photo of you

from when you first started to volunteer here.

You couldn't have been more than 20.

JILLIAN: Theresa. THERESA: And look at you now.

And that article.

You're like a celebrity.

JILLIAN: Oh, stop, you're the celebrity around here.

I'm so sorry, George is late for a meeting.

I will see you soon. THERESA: Mhmm.

JILLIAN: Love you.

THERESA: See you at the breakfast.

JILLIAN: Bye.

JUAN: Councilman, I need your comment on.

JILLIAN: Great to see you, Juan, great to see everyone.

Thank you for a lovely day, George, we've gotta go.

REPORTERS: There they are.

Councilman, answer the big question!

Is it true, are you running for mayor?

JILLIAN: Absolutely no decision has been made.

Anything you've heard is purely rumor.

REPORTER: Oh, come on.

JILLIAN: Honestly, guys, there's no tea to be spilled here.

George's soul focus remains his role as city councilman.

I'll be signing the lease on the new campaign headquarters

as soon as you leave for Connecticut.

(Chuckling)

GEORGE: Perfect.

Thanks for coming everyone, Merry Christmas!

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: So, how'd the article end?

JILLIAN: Really great.

Lots of comments and engagement and likes.

Retweets. GEORGE: Excellent.

(Camera Snapping)

GEORGE: Theresa did great with this.

Love the big stack of pancakes but come on,

no syrup?

JILLIAN: They do look kinda dry.

(Laughing)

GEORGE: Wait.

JILLIAN: What is it?

GEORGE: Bill Festerman's arranging a golf weekend

to introduce me to some big potential donors.

JILLIAN: That's fantastic, so?

GEORGE: It is.

But it's the weekend of the 15th.

JILLIAN: George, they are counting on you.

You're their headliner.

GEORGE: I know, I didn't realize it was the same weekend.

JILLIAN: This is why you have to confirm everything with me

before you commit to it.

GEORGE: I know, you're right.

I feel awful.

But there will be other events

and we discussed this once we announce on Christmas.

Our focus has to be on the campaign.

It's already been set up.

JILLIAN: This has already been set up too.

GEORGE: Yes, but we will need those donors.

JILLIAN: George.

I will handle it. GEORGE: That's my girl.

(Phone Chiming)

THERESA: What's up, sweetie?

JILLIAN: Theresa, hi, I am in the car with George

and we just realized there is a major scheduling conflict.

He now has a leadership conference on the 15th.

THERESA: Oh, well.

Well, what time does he leave?

Maybe he can just rally the troops at breakfast.

JILLIAN: I don't think that's gonna work, Theresa.

He actually flies out the evening before.

I'm so sorry.

THERESA: Jillian, don't, I trust you.

I know you would never cancel unless you absolutely had to.

Merry Christmas.

(Mysterious Music)

JILLIAN: It's done.

GEORGE: Thank you.

JILLIAN: Hold my hand, kiss it.

GEORGE: You're the best.

Merry Christmas.

JILLIAN: Indeed.

GEORGE: I'm a terrible boyfriend.

JILLIAN: Yeah.

GEORGE: I ate all of your sashimi when you went

to the ladies room.

JILLIAN: Oh, please, I wasn't even really hungry.

GEORGE: I wish I could wait.

Then we could go together but I gotta make it in time

for that symphony fundraiser meeting.

JILLIAN: It's okay.

I can send you a copy of the lease

and pack for the weekend

and then, just a few hours.

(Laughing)

GEORGE: This is gonna be perfect.

A chance for us to sort out

before he campaign storm hits.

I can't believe we're really doing it.

JILLIAN: Announcing your run for mayor of New York City

on Christmas Day!

GEORGE: And I cannot wait to introduce you to my family.

They're going to love you because you're perfect.

JILLIAN: Well lucky for me,

parents are kind of my strong suit.

I'm sure I'm gonna love them too.

They made you, honey.

GEORGE: I love you. JILLIAN: I love you too.

JILLIAN: Ketchup, mustard, old pickles.

I can't believe we don't have any food in here.

I'm starving

and I'm really nervous about meeting George's parents.

ZOE: "According to Miss Welles,

"she remembered seeing Mr. Beauman

"speak at city council meetings

"and being quite impressed by him."

Yeah, try obsessed.

"According to Beauman,

"he met Miss Welles when he first considered

"running for higher office

"and she came on board the exploratory committee.

"Quote,

"The second Jillian walked through the door,

"I knew she had something special."

Yeah, you got something special all right.

JILLIAN: Okay. ZOE: Look at us.

Just a couple of gals from humble beginnings.

JILLIAN: Who knew, right?

ZOE: Oh, man.

Political power couple.

In love and basically living together.

Which reminds me.

This is all the mail that came while you've been shacking up.

Put your name on it and everything.

JILLIAN: Thank you very much.

Another thing.

Ah.

You kinda have to keep that whole detail of us

living together under wraps

because George's parents are very, very conservative.

ZOE: Okay, that's weird.

JILLIAN: Something I also haven't told you.

ZOE: Oh my God, what?

You're pregnant? JILLIAN: No.

Two top political consulting firms

have reached out to me.

I had to play coy with them about George running

but they pretty much said that if everything goes well,

I can pretty much write my own ticket.

ZOE: Oh my God, Jillian, that's huge!

JILLIAN: We gotta toast to that. ZOE: Oh, we do.

JILLIAN: To the perfect weekend.

(Phone Ringing)

ZOE: Oh, look, it's the other half

of the political power couple.

JILLIAN: Hi, hon.

GEORGE: Hey, sweetie, we're all set.

Everything's in place for the symphony.

Festerman's locked in.

You'll finally get to meet his wife, Irene.

And my family,

well, they're dying to get you up here.

Let's just say, that article was a big hit.

JILLIAN: Well thanks for sending the car.

I'll be there in no time.

GEORGE: You're the best.

I mean that.

Oh and I almost forgot.

You're basically a hero around here.

Thanks for picking up that Poppy Dot for my little niece.

My sister says she can't stop talking about it.

JILLIAN: I'm sorry, what?

GEORGE: The Poppy Dot.

For Megan.

Remember, I told her if she got her grades up

I'd get it for her for Christmas?

You said you'd take care of it.

JILLIAN: Ummm...

GEORGE: Please tell me you didn't forget it.

We were counting on you.

JILLIAN: No, no, no, I didn't forget.

GEORGE: Megan worked her butt off to get straight A's

and we already told her she was getting it.

She went absolutely nuts.

JILLIAN: I didn't forget, it was, you know, the wifi.

It was like.

(Stammering)

JILLIAN: You know?

GEORGE: Thank God.

You scared me.

I thought you--

JILLIAN: Oh hey, here it is right here.

ZOE: Why are you waving my vintage underwear around?

Hi, George.

JILLIAN: I have it.

No worries.

GEORGE: You never forget.

You're my ace.

You always have my back.

All right, I'll see you soon.

I love you.

JILLIAN: Okay, love you too, bye.

JILLIAN: Crap.

ZOE: What is wrong with you?

JILLIAN: I know, I'm stuck and I just lied to George.

Now I gotta go find some thing called a Poppy Dot.

I can't believe I forgot.

Between the campaign and the holidays

and trying to meet these parents.

I just blanked.

ANNOUNCER: Spice up your holiday with the hottest new tech toy!

KIDS: The Poppy Dot!

ANNOUNCER: Explore a world of fun.

Just tell the Poppy Dot what you want to do.

KIDS: Tell me a story.

ANNOUNCER: Or Poppy Dot can suggest

all sorts of fun activities. POPPY DOT: Let's make a video!

ANNOUNCER: Use the app for custom colors and navigation.

Poppy Dot will be your best friend!

ZOE: Those things creep me out.

It's like an Alexa, a Home Pod and a strobe light

had a three-way and then somehow had a baby.

JILLIAN: Well it looks like now I'll be stopping off

to get a Poppy Dot.

ZOE: Hello, I don't think so.

Poppy Dot went It-Toy status.

They're sold out everywhere. JILLIAN: This?

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everybody!

ZOE: Sold out, sold out!

JILLIAN: Why won't they pick up!

ZOE: Can't you just call George back and tell him the truth?

JILLIAN: No, I can't!

It just dawned on me that this whole Dot thing

is a really big deal to Megan.

I mean, this is the only present

that she even really asked for

and I told George I already had it

and I even used a visual.

This is the first impression I'm making on these people,

I cannot tell them I forgot about it

and then lies about it, are you kidding me?!

ZOE: Wait, it says Colossal Toys has one left still.

JILLIAN: Okay! ZOE: Let's go!

JILLIAN: Go!

SANTA: Merry Christmas!

JILLIAN: Sorry, I already gave at the office!

(Suspenseful Music)

JILLIAN: Poppy Dots, Poppy Dots!

ZOE: Thirsty for Poppy Dots!

(Sighing)

JILLIAN: Thank God, we did it.

JILLIAN: Hey, what're you doing?

That was mine.

You don't understand.

I have to have that, okay, I was right here.

GIRL: Maybe you should be like Elsa from "Frozen"

and let it go.

ZOE: You just got owned by a 10 year old.

JILLIAN: I need that dot.

ZOE: So what're you gonna do?

JILLIAN: I don't know.

Maybe go see if you can bribe a store manager or something.

Maybe somebody put one on hold.

ZOE: Okay.

JILLIAN: Oh, hi.

Again.

Remember me?

GIRL: Our encounter is forever etched into my brain.

JILLIAN: Oh, good.

Well,

I know you might not be allowed to take money from strangers

but since you remember me so well,

maybe you can take some money from me.

Whatever money app you prefer.

I'm willing to go pretty high here.

That's a real no, huh?

Well.

That's fine.

That's okay.

To think, it's all because of that

cute little puppy.

GIRL: What puppy? JILLIAN: Oh, wow.

I mean, the box design is great.

Just so harmonious with the coloring

and the way the font just pops, you know?

It's like "Pop-Pee-Dot, yes!"

You know, just marketing extravaganza.

In a five by five box.

So beautiful.

GIRL: What about the puppy?

JILLIAN: Oh, I'm sorry.

You didn't hear all that?

All the commotion.

The little girl racing around the store,

looking for her lost puppy?

It was terrible.

Here I was, you know, with the Poppy Dot in my hand

and I was at the register about to pay,

but then who do I see

in the dinosaur aisle.

Cute fur ball of joy just trying to survive on his own.

I put down the Dot, you know, and I ran to get him.

I put my name on the box,

figuring I could come back for it later, you know?

That's my name right there.

It said, "Jillian."

I'm Jillian.

(Sighing)

GIRL: Oh, your name is on it.

You did save that puppy.

JILLIAN: Yes.

GIRL: You should have it.

JILLIAN: Really?

GIRL: Merry Christmas.

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas.

(Gasping)

JILLIAN: Ho, ho, Santa.

Were you?

SANTA: Did you lie to that little girl

to get the last Poppy Dot?

JILLIAN: I don't even think this is the last one.

They have a bunch more on back order.

So, I mean,

you know.

Technically, this isn't any of your business anyway.

You know, you give out your gifts, I give out mine.

What's the big deal?

You should put your own name on the naughty list.

You don't even know me to judge me the way you judge me.

That's not even fair.

(Ominous Music)

SANTA: You're right.

Looks like I don't know you at all anymore.

(Gasping) ZOE: You got it!

(Upbeat Music)

♪ Walking under the falling snow ♪

♪ All of the Christmas lights a glow ♪

♪ Kiss me under the mistletoe ♪

♪ Cause I know that you know I want you ♪

DRIVER: Everything all right back there, ma'am?

JILLIAN: Everything's great.

Everything is absolutely perfect.

(Thudding)

POPPY DOT: Lies are bad.

(Pleasant Music)

GRANDMA: Here she comes.

JILLIAN: Hi. GEORGE: You made it.

GEORGE: And Blake, he wanted to be here

but he was too busy at the hardware store

making the house look like it's on the Vegas strip.

Nobody wants to rein him in on that.

FATHER: George. GEORGE: Well, it's tacky, Dad.

GRANDMA: Now I hope you're hungry.

I made something special for you.

It's an old family recipe that I make every year.

Has George told you about it?

JILLIAN: Oh yes, the toxic stew.

(Ominous Music)

JILLIAN: That's what they called it

when they warned me about it on the telephone.

GRANDMA: Oh.

(Ominous Music)

JILLIAN: Family tradition and torture all in one bowl.

(Laughing)

GEORGE: I told you, she's hilarious.

Grandma, she's kidding, she's just kidding, right?

JILLIAN: George said that the dog almost died last year.

He had to get his stomach pumped

with some kind of a black charcoal.

The vet visit was $800 dollars plus meds.

I think they boarded him this year just to save his life.

(Laughing)

GEORGE: She is a riot.

You just won't stop.

FATHER: Let's get the luggage, George.

GEORGE: Good idea, Dad.

MOTHER: Here we go, it's all right, there we go.

POPPY DOT: Santa says nobody likes a liar.

MOTHER: Jillian, are you coming, dear?

JILLIAN: Yes.

(Sighing)

MOTHER: Welcome.

This is our home.

JILLIAN: It's lovely. MOTHER: Thank you.

Oh, I have to show you this.

I just picked this up last week at a charity auction

for the Audubon Society.

What do you think? JILLIAN: It's bad.

Ah, what I mean is,

it's really bad, like it should be named,

"Why Cocktails Should Be Banned At Charity Auctions."

MOTHER: Shall I show you to your room?

JILLIAN: I would like that very much.

MOTHER: Okay.

JILLIAN: Mrs. Beauman. MOTHER: Yes?

JILLIAN: I don't know what is happening with me.

But I do know that I would like to impress you very much

and normally I'm quite good at that.

I did have a few tequila shots with my friend before I came.

Maybe that, coupled with my nerves,

is the cause of all this.

MOTHER: That's all right, dear.

Between you and I,

I may have had a few cocktails at the auction, myself.

(Chuckling)

MOTHER: Just up here.

Oh, that's Lacey.

JILLIAN: Pretty.

And there's George.

Hot.

And my baby, Blake.

Isn't he adorable? JILLIAN: Huge head.

MOTHER: Trust me, dear, I remember.

We have you and George in separate bedrooms.

That's just the way we do things around here

for those who are unwed.

I hope you don't mind.

Do you?

JILLIAN: No.

I spends seven nights a week with George.

He's a total blanket hogger.

I'm actually looking forward to the break.

Not to mention the snoring.

MOTHER: Seven nights a week.

So basically, you--

JILLIAN: We're basically living together.

Cohabiting, syncopating.

Whatever you wanna call it.

Good talk, bye.

Dammit, what is happening to me?

(Huffing)

POPPY DOT: Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Yes, you, Jillian.

(Mysterious Music)

(Sighing)

JILLIAN: Poppy Dot,

what did you just say?

POPPY DOT: Merry Christmas.

I'm your personal Poppy Dot.

Want to play a game?

(Laughing)

(Sighing)

JILLIAN: Oh my goodness.

POPPY DOT: Let's count how many times

Jillian has lied today.

(Jillian Screams)

POPPY DOT: Two, three, four,

five, six. (Knocking)

MOTHER: Jillian? POPPY DOT: Seven.

JILLIAN: Shut up, Poppy Dot!

MOTHER: Jillian, are you all right?

JILLIAN: Uh, no.

MOTHER: Do you want me to come in?

JILLIAN: God, no!

I mean,

the toy I bought for Megan talks

and it just scared me, that's all.

MOTHER: Well, that was quite a scream.

JILLIAN: Yeah, that's me.

I'm a screamer.

Thank God I'm not sleeping in a room with George.

(Gasping)

MOTHER: Well, as long as you're all right.

Okay.

(Christmas Music)

(Phone Jingling)

ZOE: Hold on one sec, Jill, okay?

JILLIAN: Help me!

ZOE: Jillian, are you all right?

JILLIAN: No.

Something is happening to me and I don't know what it is.

I think I've been cursed by Santa.

ZOE: Okay, I don't think that's what Santa does.

Maybe you're confusing Santa with Satan.

JILLIAN: I know how to spell, okay?

I lied to the little girl in the store

and when Santa asked me if I lied, I lied to him too

and now the Poppy Dot is taunting me!

ZOE: Right, Santa made your tech turn.

JILLIAN: I don't know, okay?

I just know I remember the way he was looking at me

with those disapproving eyes, okay?

Something has happened.

Suddenly I can't lie.

ZOE: That's hysterical.

You work in politics.

JILLIAN: That's very funny.

Look, I've been here five minutes

and already I've insulted George's mom's painting,

I told her her son had a big head.

You don't even wanna know, the worst of all,

as soon as I got here I was like--

(Knocking)

GRANDMA: Jillian, it's Grandma.

JILLIAN: No, no.

GRANDMA: I'd like to talk to you.

JILLIAN: It's George's grandmother.

ZOE: So what?

What's wrong with that?

(Knocking) GRANDMA: Are you in there?

JILLIAN: She's got me cornered.

I can't lie.

I'll call you back!

(Groaning) (Grandma Mumbling)

GRANDMA: Yoo-hoo?

GRANDMA: Jillian, I'm coming in here.

Okay now.

JILLIAN: Oh my God.

GRANDMA: I coulda sworn she was in here.

(Comedic Music)

BLAKE: Hi. (Screaming)

BLAKE: I'm Blake, George's brother.

JILLIAN: I literally thought that you were an ax murderer.

Hi, I'm Jillian, I'm George's--

BLAKE: Yeah, I know, I kinda figured.

You wanna tell me what that was all about?

JILLIAN: Honestly, no.

BLAKE: I think you kinda have to.

I just busted you climbing out of a window

and being super weird, so.

JILLIAN: I was trying to get away from your grandmother.

It's a long story but she wanted to ask me some questions

and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

BLAKE: So you climbed down a trellis.

JILLIAN: Mhmm.

BLAKE: Okay. JILLIAN: What're you doing?

BLAKE: I have a lot of stuff to take care of, okay?

JILLIAN: Rude.

BLAKE: Look, obviously something's going on

but don't look me in the eye and tell me

that a political consultant from New York

can't talk her way around my grandmother.

JILLIAN: It's true.

BLAKE: No, come on.

An 80 year old civilian?

I feel like someone like you could handle that in her sleep.

JILLIAN: Someone like me?

BLAKE: Yeah, you know, someone who basically lies for a living.

JILLIAN: Oh, excuse me.

How dare you just take what I do and distill it down

to the most simplistic definition.

I worked hard to get where I am, okay?

Politics is a very complex world.

It's a game of strategy.

What I do is very important.

BLAKE: Mhmm.

And what exactly is it that you do again?

JILLIAN: I tell people exactly what they need to hear

so that your brother can get elected.

BLAKE: Bingo.

(Groaning)

JILLIAN: George warned me you were difficult.

BLAKE: Well by "difficult," he means I disagree with him

on most personal, social and political issues

and it makes him crazy, then yeah.

I guess I'm difficult.

JILLIAN: All right,

I admit I should be able to spin some white lie

and just handle your grandma but the truth is,

your grandmother's very sweet, okay,

and I don't wanna hurt her feelings.

GEORGE: Oh, great, I see you met Jillian.

BLAKE: I have, indeed.

FATHER: Well, may I say you are even more beautiful in person

than you appear on this cover.

JILLIAN: Thank you.

FATHER: You really do make a strong looking couple.

When I consulted with Governor Walsh,

he agreed you're gonna play on all demographics.

You're clean cut, you're serious but you're not stodgy.

There's no stodgy, you're young.

You're aspirational.

(Chuckling)

FATHER: And what about this handsome, young guy, huh?

He looks pretty darn good on this cover as well, doesn't he?

And where do you think he got that from?

JILLIAN: It's obvious that it comes from you, Mr. Beauman.

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: The 24 thousand dollars in veneers didn't hurt though.

FATHER: 24 thousand in veneers?

BLAKE: 24 thousand?

FATHER: Really?

Open up.

Let me see.

JILLIAN: A little Botox between the brows.

FATHER: Oh, a little Botox too.

GEORGE: Stop it, what're you doing?

GEORGE: Stop. GRANDMA: There you are, Jillian.

I was just looking for you.

I wanted to have a little chat with you.

I need to get to the bottom of a few things.

GEORGE: Gram, I told you she was just kidding.

BLAKE: Yeah, come on, Grandma.

Don't pounce on the poor girl.

She's our guest.

She just got here.

GRANDMA: I'm heading home.

FATHER: Mother.

She was just joking.

GEORGE: Grandma.

Jillian, Jillian, Jillian.

What is happening with you?

You haven't been yourself since you got here.

I mean, toxic stew?

My veneers, the Botox?

What's next?

JILLIAN: I kinda told your mom

we're practically living together.

GEORGE: What? Jillian!

Wait, how'd she take that?

JILLIAN: I don't know because I kinda slammed the door

in her face as she was taking it all in.

Look, okay, I'm sorry.

I did not mean for all this stuff to happen.

GEORGE: It is like you have short circuited or something.

What is it?

Is it nerves?

JILLIAN: I wish I could blame this on nerves

but I think it's the Poppy Dot.

GEORGE: Stress, it's stress.

JILLIAN: Again, I wish I could say yes to that

and just end this conversation but it is the Poppy Dot.

GEORGE: Why wouldn't you tell me what's going on with you?

JILLIAN: I am telling you what's going on

but you're not listening to me

and I know it sounds crazy and you're very judgmental.

GEORGE: Whoa, wait.

Thanks a lot.

I am not.

Maybe I'm a little judgmental, but still.

Sweetheart, I won't judge you.

I just need to know what's going on with you.

JILLIAN: I don't know

but I think it's a curse.

GEORGE: You're blaming this on your period?

JILLIAN: No, George, like an actual curse.

GEORGE: Uuuhhh.

JILLIAN: Okay, the truth is,

when you asked me about the Poppy Dot earlier,

I didn't have it.

I forgot to get it so I went racing all over the city

trying to find one and when I found the last one,

I had to tell a big lie to get it

and then I had to lie to just cover up the big lie.

GEORGE: Jillian.

JILLIAN: What?

GEORGE: Look, I know some lies

in the political realm, that's okay.

But lying to me, that's a breach of our trust.

JILLIAN: I know but I didn't want to disappoint Megan or you.

Okay?

GEORGE: All right, all right, I understand that.

But, I mean, you only told a few lies.

Why did you get so thrown off?

JILLIAN: Well, because the person that I lied to the last

was Santa and I believe that he has it out for me now

because he-- GEORGE: Okay, Santa?

JILLIAN: You know, ever since then.

GEORGE: Jillian.

JILLIAN: Okay, look, I'll show you.

Poppy Dot, tell me what you think of me.

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everyone!

Wanna play?

We can make a video.

(Groaning)

POPPY DOT: Feliz Navidad is Spanish for Merry Christmas!

JILLIAN: It was really just saying

very disturbing things earlier.

If you would've heard it.

I mean, it's gonna do it.

GEORGE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Put it down, put it down.

Okay, you are stressed out.

I know you don't wanna believe that but you are.

I think you put a little too much pressure on yourself,

all right, to make a good impression here.

And, plus, with the looming announcement,

I think it was just a little too much.

And then, once you forgot the Poppy Dot,

it just threw you over the edge.

You know?

JILLIAN: It just-- GEORGE: It's okay.

It's okay, everyone has a bad day, right?

So, you sit.

Let's get you up there.

All right?

I'm gonna seal you in here.

You're gonna get some rest.

Tomorrow, you're gonna wake up old Jillian Welles again.

All right? JILLIAN: Okay.

GEORGE: Forget all about this.

All right, sweetheart.

JILLIAN: I love you, Georgie.

GEORGE: Oh, I love you too, sweetie.

POPPY DOT: Liar.

JILLIAN: I knew it!

That is it!

I've had enough of this stupid dot!

(Ominous Music)

BLAKE: Oh, hey.

Is that the Poppy Dot for Megan?

JILLIAN: Yes, it is.

BLAKE: It's cute.

JILLIAN: You think so?

Well, you keep it then.

I don't want it.

It just talks and talks.

It's getting on my nerves!

BLAKE: I feel like you could've just turned it off.

FATHER: "Paramedics give it."

It's three letters.

MOTHER: CPR.

FATHER: CPR, that's very good. MOTHER: Thank you, mhmm.

(Knocking)

GEORGE: Hey, guys.

I just wanted to say goodnight.

MOTHER: All right, dear. FATHER: Son.

Come on in for a minute, sit down.

MOTHER: George, honey.

Jillian is very pretty. FATHER: Very pretty.

MOTHER: She's very pretty.

FATHER: But this is the girl you call your "ace?"

The one who always has your back?

GEORGE: Look, I know she didn't get off to the best start, here.

MOTHER: Oh, dear.

The Titanic got off to a better start.

And while I am not crazy about the idea

of the two of you living together,

I don't live in the Dark Ages.

I can handle it.

I just didn't want to find out the way I did.

GEORGE: Mom, that's on me.

I asked her not to say anything.

FATHER: Loose-lips and jittery.

This is not the girl you described to me, son.

Georgie, are you sure this is who you want

sitting beside you when you announce your campaign?

GEORGE: Of course it is.

She helped me get to this step, didn't she?

I plan on taking some other steps with her as well.

MOTHER: A wedding?

GEORGE: Mom, now let's just keep that on the down low.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

MOTHER: Oh no, I won't. GEORGE: Mom.

MOTHER: Oh, promise. GEORGE: And Dad, relax.

Please, just trust me, all right?

The woman you met tonight is not the real Jillian.

Tomorrow she'll be back to herself

and you'll get to meet the Jillian that I know

and I promise you, you will love her.

Now, goodnight.

FATHER: Goodnight. MOTHER: Goodnight, dear.

GEORGE: I love you.

MOTHER: Love you, honey. FATHER: You too.

(Deck the Halls Music)

♪ Deck the Halls with boughs of holly ♪

(Doorbell Ringing)

MOTHER: Lacey's here!

(Phone Dial Tone Buzzing)

ZOE: Hey, I didn't hear back from you.

Thought grandma got you.

JILLIAN: Oh, hilarious.

ZOE: How's the can't lie thing?

Passing fluke or lifelong malfunction?

JILLIAN: I don't know, I just woke up.

ZOE: Is the sky red?

JILLIAN: Nope, the sky is blue.

Crap!

ZOE: How do I know you're even trying?

JILLIAN: Don't go there, Zoe!

Okay, I have one nerve left and it is starting to fray.

GEORGE: Good morning. (Gasping)

GEORGE: Oh. JILLIAN: George.

GEORGE: Sorry.

JILLIAN: You look really good.

GEORGE: Thank you.

JILLIAN: I can't believe you let me oversleep.

I'm not even ready.

GEORGE: It seemed like you needed it.

Last night was a little--

JILLIAN: Rocky? GEORGE: More like an avalanche.

It was like you were a different person.

Are you back today?

JILLIAN: I can't lie.

I am here.

GEORGE: Oh, thank goodness.

All right, well Lacey's here with Ed and Megan.

JILLIAN: Okay.

GEORGE: Hurry up, come down and you can get dressed

for the symphony after breakfast.

Oh and let's go with the red coat over the black.

Pops more.

Go for the young, fresh vibe we're putting out there.

JILLIAN: Okay.

You still there?

ZOE: Oh yeah, I'm here.

And you are young and fresh.

JILLIAN: Stop, Zoe.

JILLIAN: Tomorrow, George is going viral

with his campaign announcement with his entire family

and me there and I'm petrified I'm gonna screw something up.

My whole consulting career is gonna be ruined.

ZOE: Are you sure this isn't just in your head?

JILLIAN: It's not in my head.

ZOE: I'm sorry, it just seems to me like

maybe you're being a little dramatic.

(Knocking)

MOTHER: Jillian?

It's me, Barb.

If you have a moment, I thought we could sneak in

a little girl talk.

I have some family photos I'd love to show you.

I even found my wedding album

if you want to take a look at it.

I even found a picture of my wedding dress

just to see what you think.

I gotta go!

ZOE: What is it?

JILLIAN: She wants to show me a picture of her wedding dress

and I can't lie.

She was an 80s bride.

ZOE: Oh my God, get out of there, go!

MOTHER: Jillian?

Yoo-hoo.

(Suspenseful Comedic Music)

MOTHER: I'm coming in.

Jillian?

JILLIAN: I'm back.

ZOE: What just happened?

JILLIAN: I just climbed down the side of the house

to get away from George's mom.

ZOE: That kinda makes me miss high school.

(Sighing)

MOTHER: Jillian?

JILLIAN: Listen, Zoe, you are the only calvary that I've got.

Now we are leave for the symphony soon, okay?

And this is a charity performance.

So there's going to be major press coverage.

The outgoing mayor who is going to Tweet

his endorsement of George, he's gonna be there

and Bill Festerman's showing up.

He's gonna back George with a major donation.

ZOE: I feel like I should be taking notes.

JILLIAN: I'm never gonna be able to get through this

without lying.

I've already spun so many truths and half-truths.

ZOE: Yeah, I seem to recall a few omitted facts.

JILLIAN: Look, you've got to help me get to the bottom

of this and get rid of this curse before the symphony.

ZOE: Why me?

JILLIAN: Whose boyfriend's cousin

helped you get your first job

at the Brow Hut when you moved to New York, hmmm?

Who helped you get your makeup kit back from your psycho ex?

Who is the only person who believed you

when we were seven and you told our teacher

that the coat room was haunted?

ZOE: You, all you.

JILLIAN: Exactly.

Something tells me that this has something to do with Santa.

ZOE: Jillian. JILLIAN: Check this out, okay?

That first Santa that we passed on the street

who was handing out flyers,

that was just a guy in a cheap Santa suit, remember?

But in the store,

it was like the Gucci version.

I mean, there must be something to that, right?

ZOE: What, like Santa channeled through another Santa?

JILLIAN: Look, I don't know, okay?

Maybe cheap Santa have an in with Gucci Santa.

I don't know, just get to the bottom of it

and find one of them and tell them, "Message received.

"Les are bad, I get it!"

ZOE: Oh my God, is this really happening?

JILLIAN: Yes!

(Sighing)

ZOE: All right.

If you become First Lady of New York,

you so better remember this.

JILLIAN: If we don't figure out

how to get this curse removed before the symphony,

you won't have to worry about any of that!

Bye. ZOE: Bye.

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: There you are.

Come on.

Oh, Jillian, this is my sister, Lacey,

and, of course, Megan.

JILLIAN: Hi, so nice to meet you, you look pretty.

MEGAN: I know.

LACEY: Oh, she means thank you. (Chuckling)

LACEY: But guess what present is all she can talk about.

MEGAN: The Poppy Dot, don't you just love it?

JILLIAN: Yes, I mean everybody just, no, I don't like it.

I actually think it's annoying

but it is really fun for other people.

LACEY: Okay.

Odd response but it's so nice to meet you.

GEORGE: And, Jillian, this is Lacey's husband, Ed.

JILLIAN: Hi, nice to meet you.

I've heard great things about you.

ED: Oh yeah, like what?

JILLIAN: Oh, that you're a really nice guy.

Mid-level achiever but you make a great margarita.

MOTHER: Breakfast.

JILLIAN: Breakfast.

GEORGE: Breakfast.

Ed, I love your margaritas.

They're the best.

ED: Thanks, man. GEORGE: Yeah.

JILLIAN: I feel so bad I overslept.

Everyone's already dressed.

BLAKE: Hey, not everyone.

MOTHER: Good morning, dear. BLAKE: Morning.

GEORGE: Blake's not joining us for the symphony, are you?

BLAKE: Oh, George's implication is that I don't like

the symphony but I do, I just had a previous commitment.

MOTHER: Well, after tomorrow, you two lovebirds

are gonna be busy on the campaign.

I hope you were able to get your rest.

Jillian, was your room all right?

JILLIAN: Oh yes.

I love getting away from the city

and this house has such a nice, warm energy.

Other than that owl painting,

I really enjoyed being in my room, thanks.

GEORGE: Yeah, it's nice.

It's opposite than our aesthetic.

We're minimalists.

Right?

JILLIAN: One of us is.

GEORGE: What're you talking about?

First date, we went to that art show, you said you loved it

and you love my apartment.

First time she saw it, she said she wouldn't change a thing.

She thought my taste was great.

Isn't that right?

JILLIAN: I lied.

GEORGE: You lied?

JILLIAN: I appreciate a minimalist aesthetic,

just not as much as you do

and not for a home.

Also, I don't think that throw pillows are a crime.

And that art show, ugh.

JILLIAN: This is embarrassing.

Have you ever met someone that you liked so much

that you laughed at all of their jokes

even when they weren't funny

and you liked everything that they liked

and you did everything that they did

like it was the best thing ever?

Well, that's kind of what happened here.

I knew who George was when I met him.

I followed his work as a councilman

and I really admired it.

But little by little, I found myself lying about things

so that he would like me.

I'm sorry.

That's what happened, I lied.

BLAKE: Sophomore year I fell for a theater major,

her name was Fiona Allen.

I wasn't really into theater but she was,

so I lied and I told her I was into theater.

And then I changed my major to Theater Arts.

LACEY: Oh my God, you?

Are you serious?

BLAKE: Oh yeah, I would've warn a unitard for this girl.

LACEY: No. BLAKE: It's young love.

FATHER: What, he's an actor now? MOTHER: No, dear.

Bob took me to golf and then the horse races

for our first date.

I hate golf and I hate the horse races.

FATHER: And I love golf and I love the horse races.

MOTHER: But I liked him so I lied and I told him

that it was the best day ever.

FATHER: It was a very expensive date.

MOTHER: Oh, stop it.

FATHER: Unbelievable. MOTHER: Stop it.

ED: Well, I think what you did, Jillian, was pretty human.

GEORGE: Yeah, I mean, how could I be mad?

You just did it because you fell so hard for me, right?

I think it's pretty flattering, actually.

MOTHER: George, dear.

GEORGE: What?

Oh.

Does anyone want the last pancake?

JILLIAN: I do.

GEORGE: You do?

JILLIAN: I would like it very much.

GEORGE: Okay.

You don't usually have an appetite like this.

Something different?

JILLIAN: Oh, I do, I do have an appetite

but just not in front of you.

LACEY: Why's that?

JILLIAN: George likes us to look really good in pictures,

you know?

The camera adds 10 pounds.

We're in the limelight.

MOTHER: George. FATHER: Georgie, come on.

GEORGE: Dad.

BLAKE: I like a thick woman.

JILLIAN: Normally I wouldn't do anything like this.

Take the last pancake or the last anything for that matter.

Too worried what people would think of me

as though I'm not allowed to eat.

You know, I'm not allowed to say that I'm still hungry

when I am, in fact, still hungry.

I'm very hungry.

George ate all my sashimi at lunch yesterday

and I woke up today feeling totally famished.

MOTHER: George. LACEY: Wow.

GEORGE: She said she wasn't hungry.

JILLIAN: I lied.

FATHER: There's a whole tray of bacon.

Eat the bacon, give her the bacon.

Give the sausage.

ED: Just pass these down.

Poor girl's hungry, come on. FATHER: Take my juice.

GEORGE: Dad, she doesn't want your juice.

JILLIAN: I want the juice, George.

FATHER: Give her the juice.

GEORGE: Here, here's the juice.

JILLIAN: This is amazingly liberating

to eat this much in front of people,

people I just met.

ED: There you go.

LACEY: Okay, well,

I mean, since Jillian's being so honest

and with the campaign about to start.

Ed and I just thought it would be a great time

to get something off our chests.

Okay.

Remember when we eloped?

MOTHER: I'll never forget it.

LACEY: Okay.

ED: Well, the truth is.

LACEY: We aren't actually married.

MOTHER: What? FATHER: What's that? Sorry.

GEORGE: What, you're not married?

LACEY: We found out I was pregnant with Megan

when we were on vacation

and we came back and we just told everyone that we eloped.

Yeah.

ED: Surprise.

MOTHER: Ed.

BLAKE: This is where I exit.

MOTHER: Did he know about this?

Did you know about this?

Where are you going?

ED: George, since you wanted us to campaign with you.

If you were going to be introducing me

as Lacey's husband,

technically that's not true, so.

LACEY: No. GEORGE: Right.

Well we'll just have to run focus numbers on this.

JILLIAN: Okay.

Okay.

LACEY: We just thought you should know.

JILLIAN: I should probably go and get ready.

This was really great.

Lovely.

Biscuits were delicious.

I'm just gonna get ready for the symphony.

You know, you guys are all dressed up

and you too, you're dressed up too.

You know, let me take out the trash.

Excuse me.

(Laughing)

(Groaning)

JILLIAN: Oh, wow.

BLAKE: You know, I really can't figure you out.

JILLIAN: Oh, God, here we go again.

Let me guess, you have some thoughts to share now.

BLAKE: Just when I'm positive there's something

janky about you, you change it up.

I don't get it, what is it,

some kind of truth cleanse before the campaign starts?

JILLIAN: No, I just find myself,

hopefully temporarily unable to lie.

BLAKE: All right then, for my peace of mind,

is there anything shady about you?

Anything that might hurt my brother?

JILLIAN: Well,

this isn't shady about me

but I have done some research into Bill Festerman,

the guy who wants to back George.

I found a few things.

BLAKE: Like what?

JILLIAN: Cheating, fraud.

Nothing that could bring George down.

I mean, he's not attached to any of Festerman's businesses

but, all-in-all, Festerman is not a good guy

and I haven't told George any of this.

It's easier that way and it's better for the campaign.

George needs Festerman and he's gonna open the way

to other big donors.

BLAKE: I appreciate the candor.

And you should know,

even though I disagree with George on a lot of things,

I still love him.

I don't think he's a bad guy or anything.

He's just always liked the spotlight

a little bit more than I have.

And his head can turn too easily,

so I just wanna make sure that he's surrounding himself

with the right kind of people.

JILLIAN: I am the right kind of people.

BLAKE: We'll see.

JILLIAN: Will we?

You know, George and I both wanna change things.

And we're doing something

which is more than can be said about you.

I mean, George put together a whole charity event

at the symphony which you can't even be bothered to attend.

And here I thought George was the judgmental Beauman.

BLAKE: Uh huh.

JILLIAN: What do you know?

You're just some guy with a tech device,

futzing around a bunch of Christmas lights.

Have fun.

BLAKE: Tell the truth,

you really do like the lights, don't you?

JILLIAN: I friggin' love 'em!

(Upbeat Music)

ZOE: Sorry, Jill,

there's no Santa at the toy store today.

JILLIAN: We leave for the symphony at noon.

It is the day before Christmas in New York.

Can't you find another Santa?

I'm out of options here.

ZOE: Any Santa?

JILLIAN: I don't know.

Just see what you can do, okay?

ZOE: All right.

I'll try a department store.

JILLIAN: Thank you, you're my hero, I love you.

ZOE: Yeah, always.

(Knocking)

JILLIAN: Come in.

GEORGE: Well, you look gorgeous.

JILLIAN: Thank you. GEORGE: Love those earrings.

But I would go with the studs.

Oh and great news.

Festerman just added two new donors to the golf weekend.

JILLIAN: Oh, that's wonderful.

GEORGE: I can't believe you haven't met his wife.

You're really gonna love her.

She's a real talker though.

Asks lots of questions.

(Ominous Music)

ZOE: Gucci Santa.

You're real.

Santa, I hope this fur is faux.

SANTA: What do you need, Zoe?

I've got a busy day.

(Chuckling)

ZOE: Right, I'm here for Jillian.

You know, Welles.

SANTA: Believe me, I know who Jillian is.

Just tell me what she wants.

ZOE: Okay, cards on the table.

My girl fully admits she lied to the Poppy Dot

but she wants me to assure you that she knows it was wrong

and she learned her lesson

and there are no hard feelings.

SANTA: Indeed, there aren't.

ZOE: My point is, she heard you loud and clear.

Lies are bad, mission accomplished.

We both know she's a decent person.

She's got big things ahead of her.

SANTA: Indeed, she does.

ZOE: Come on, dude.

Can we just remove the curse,

or spell or whatever it is?

SANTA: What's happening to Jillian will end

SANTA: When it ends.

ZOE: But she needs to be at the symphony with George today.

He's counting on her.

SANTA: I've got an idea or two of my own about what she needs.

ZOE: Okay, let's get real here.

What's it gonna take, huh?

A good deed?

A donation?

Just putting it out there,

you, me and a pair of tweezers.

15 minutes, I can make those eyebrows snatched.

(Chuckling)

ZOE: What do you say? (Santa Chuckling)

SANTA: Goodbye, Zoe.

(Coo-coo Clock Hooting)

ZOE: Santa.

MOTHER: All right.

MEGAN: I wanna be in the front.

MOTHER: No, no, into the back.

You fold up easier than Grandma.

Here we go.

(Phone Ringing)

JILLIAN: Well?

ZOE: All right.

I just had a conversation with Gucci Santa in a bar.

What is happening?

Anyway, it looks like you were right about everything.

JILLIAN: I knew it.

(Dramatic Music)

ZOE: The problem is, he's not budging.

He wouldn't give me anything, nothing.

Just said it would wear off in its own time.

JILLIAN: What does that mean? GEORGE: Jillian!

JILLIAN: Okay.

Come on!

That does not help me.

Okay, we're about to leave.

ZOE: I'm sorry, I gave it my best shot.

And I don't want to talk ill of the red,

but I gotta say, he's kind of a hard-ass.

Real cute on that one.

Anyway,

sorry.

I'll talk to you later, okay?

Bye.

(Dramatic Music)

(Sighing)

GEORGE: Hey.

What's the matter, are you sick? JILLIAN: No.

GEORGE: All right, let's go, hop in.

JILLIAN: George, I can't.

GEORGE: Come on, we're already late.

JILLIAN: Do you trust me, George?

GEORGE: Of course I do.

JILLIAN: Okay.

I really wanna go with you, I really, really do.

But I just feel like I've been acting so strange lately,

I don't wanna embarrass you.

GEORGE: You would never embarrass me.

Look at you, you're perfect and I'm here.

I can cover for you if I have to.

But I need you, we're a team.

All right?

JILLIAN: I know it's a disappointment, okay?

But I think that it's for the best, okay?

I just, I can't go to the symphony, George.

GEORGE: I don't believe this.

Look, sweetie, clearly something is off with you.

I can't just leave you here, alone, all day long.

I'll be fine.

Go.

BLAKE: If you're worried about her being alone,

she can always tag along with me.

GEORGE: Thank you, that's nice.

But I'm sure Jillian isn't interested

in hanging out with Grandma and you at our cousin's place.

JILLIAN: That's your previous engagement?

Hanging out with your grandmother

at your cousin's place? BLAKE: All right, yes or no?

I gotta go too.

GEORGE: Jillian?

Do you wanna go to our cousin's place with Blake?

JILLIAN: If it means not going to the symphony, then yes.

GEORGE: The mayor's going to be there, the Festermans.

They're coming from New York to support me.

What will they think?

JILLIAN: They're gonna think a whole lot more of you

if I don't go.

I'm sorry George.

GEORGE: All right.

JILLIAN: Okay, it's for the best.

And we'll have a really great Christmas Eve.

GEORGE: Promise?

JILLIAN: I promise.

(Dramatic Music)

GEORGE: I hope so.

JILLIAN: Love you, Georgie.

(Car Honking)

JILLIAN: Oh, God.

(Upbeat Music)

GRANDMA: Tell me the truth.

They hate my stew, don't they?

JILLIAN: Pretty much.

GRANDMA: I knew it.

Bunch of idiots, why didn't they just tell me?

BLAKE: Hey, I told you.

GRANDMA: But you were the only one.

And you're a picky eater.

You don't even like my pie.

BLAKE: No, I like it.

I just really treasure my tooth enamel.

GRANDMA: Do you know how much time it takes

to make that stew?

Two whole days.

And my house smells for a week afterwards.

The only reason I make it at all is because they make

such a big deal raving about it every year!

JILLIAN: Well the good news is

that you don't have to make it anymore.

GRANDMA: No.

Now I'm gonna make it all the time

and gonna keep on making it and I'm gonna sit there

and enjoy watching them gulp it all down.

(Laughing)

BLAKE: This is why I love you so much, Grandma.

GRANDMA: Oh, life would be so much simpler

if people would tell the truth.

(Pleasant Beat Music)

JILLIAN: Oh, "Our Cousin's Place."

I get it.

♪ Celebrate ♪

BLAKE: All right, ladies.

We got some work to do.

JILLIAN: What do you mean, work?

I thought we were hanging out.

BLAKE: Yeah, we are after.

Here, you'll need this.

GRANDMA: Put it on.

BLAKE: All right, guys, we got our stocking of wishes

and we got our stations.

We're no stopping until this bag is empty.

After that, come back here and party.

How's that sound?

(Cheering)

JILLIAN: What do I do?

BLAKE: I guess you're with me.

(Joyful Christmas Music)

JILLIAN: "Ingredients for any kind of Christmas dinner

"and a small gift for my granddaughter."

"I lost my job this year.

"My wish would be a boy's bike for my son,

"but I would be grateful for any toy I could give him."

BLAKE: I need a turkey.

JILLIAN: "Something for a girl, eight to ten."

Glitter set and pony.

GRANDMA: Corn.

Potatoes, apples.

Another eggnog!

BLAKE: Thanks.

I'll load the rest.

Can you load those addresses into the GPS?

JILLIAN: Okay.

♪ It's Santa's Jolly ho-ho-ho ♪

♪ And the streets are filling up with snow ♪

♪ Christmas ♪

♪ This is Christmas ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

JILLIAN: Special delivery!

JILLIAN: Hi.

BLAKE: You got room for a turkey?

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas!

♪ Dad is holding mom under the mistletoe ♪

♪ As they sing another verse of Let it snow ♪

BLAKE: Pretty good for a first run.

JILLIAN: Why, thank you.

I rather enjoyed that.

BLAKE: That's what we call "sleighing it."

(Laughing)

GEORGE: Looking forward to that Tweet tomorrow, sir.

GEORGE: Bill, Irene.

So good to see you, I'm glad you could make it.

BILL: Are you excited about that announcement tomorrow?

GEORGE: Of course, of course.

I just wish Jillian were here.

She's feeling a little off today.

I really wanted the two of you to meet.

IRENE: Oh, that would've been so nice.

JUAN: Mr. Beauman.

Juan Gutierrez for the New York Banner newspaper.

Care to comment on the rumors that you're about to run?

A little Christmas Eve exclusive.

GEORGE: Nice try, Juan.

BILL: Hold on a sec, that's not a bad idea.

We could make something of it.

You in the house you grew up in.

And you did just say you wanted Jillian to meet Irene.

GEORGE: Yeah.

I don't know, Jillian's, (Chuckling)

GEORGE: She's not really herself right now.

BILL: Oh, come on, George.

A good politician knows how to seize the moment, right?

GEORGE: That's a good point, that's a good point.

What do you guys think?

FATHER: I think it's a good point.

MOTHER: It is, it's an excellent, excellent point.

FATHER: It is, it's a great point.

MOTHER: Yes.

(Somber Blues Music)

♪ Jolly old Saint Nicholas ♪

♪ Lean your ear this way ♪

♪ Don't you tell a single soul ♪

JILLIAN: How is your grandma?

You sure she's gonna be okay?

BLAKE: Oh yeah.

Hazel took her home.

One rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock" and a few eggnogs

and she was toasted.

JILLIAN: Well, ho, ho, ho.

How'd you start this whole thing?

BLAKE: I was at the grocery store just buying beer

for a friend's party one night

and there was this couple behind me.

And they had just gotten off work

and they were both just whipped out.

She's asking him about his back

and he's asking her about their bank account.

Christmas was right around the corner

and they were talking about how they didn't

have enough money to buy presents for their kids.

It was kinda hard to hear, you know?

And I wanted to do something or say something

or help somehow

but it was awkward, so I just let it pass.

JILLIAN: I mean, what can you do?

BLAKE: Right.

So later that night, the party ends up here

and it's talent night and I lose a bet

and find myself up on stage

trying desperately to remember any of the lyrics

to any Michael Jackson song,

wishing I could be anywhere else

and I look up

and way in the back is that same dad

from the grocery store with the bad back

and he's busing tables.

JILLIAN: No.

BLAKE: I'm on stage and there's a group of people here

and I have a microphone in my hand

and if that's not a sign, then what is?

There was just this moment, and for once, I took it.

I pitched this

and it became a thing.

JILLIAN: How does George not know about all this?

BLAKE: He does, sort of.

I think he just thinks about it as a bunch of drunk people

hanging out with a donation jar

sitting on the bar counter, you know?

JILLIAN: But it's so much more than that.

You should share it with him.

BLAKE: Yeah, well, I'm honestly kinda happy

that it's off his radar.

The last thing that I would want is for George

to swoop in, roll up his sleeves and turn it into

some kind of photo op, you know?

Just kinda kill it for me.

We just roll differently.

JILLIAN: Yeah.

♪ Christmas Eve is coming soon ♪

♪ Now you dear old man ♪

BLAKE: You do know at some point I'm gonna have to ask you

why you're here and not at the symphony with George, right?

(Cheering)

(Applauding)

BLAKE: Come on.

What's really going on with you?

HOST: Well, that's it folks.

Unless anyone else wants to throw their hat in the ring.

It looks Garrett, here, is gonna win the talent trophy

for the third straight year.

What about it?

Anybody out there think they can top Garrett?

JILLIAN: I can!

BLAKE: I'm sorry, what?

HOST: Was that a yes over there?

BLAKE: We gotta yes back here.

JILLIAN: I said that I can, I didn't say that I want to.

BLAKE: This woman's a yes!

HOST: Over there!

Give it up for the smoking lady in the red.

(Cheering)

(Applauding)

HOST: Please, tell us your name.

JILLIAN: Jillian.

HOST: You any good, Jillian.

JILLIAN: I'm very funny.

(Audience Laughing)

HOST: All right, take it away.

JILLIAN: Woo, thank you, guy.

How's everybody doing?

You guys excited for Christmas?

(Cheering)

JILLIAN: I'm here right now meeting

my boyfriend's parents for the first time.

Meeting the parents, that's so scary, isn't it?

I've only been with them for 24 hours.

It only took me 24 seconds to mess the whole thing up.

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: Like, I don't even know what I did wrong.

I'm just ruining stuff, you know?

I'm a professional ruiner.

"Hi, I'm Jillian.

"I'm a ruiner.

"I'm here to ruin Christmas for everybody.

"You know, you can hire my services

"with my Jillian Ruins Christmas App.

"I got you, fam, I got you."

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: Imagine you had to get through Christmas without lying.

Like, show of hands, who thinks they can

get through the holidays without lying?

Nobody, I don't see any hands.

Now you put your hand down because you are a big liar.

I can tell, I can tell from here.

Like, what if you had some kind of a Christmas curse

that made you have to be honest all the time?

Like imagine the family dinner, you know?

You're just like, "Hey, how's cousin Carol?

"She's in jail, pass the cheese."

Like, "What? (Laughing)

JILLIAN: "I thought we all agreed she was in college."

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: You know, there's always like the one relative

like pretending to be extra sickly in the corner

just to see how much you care, you know what I mean?

It's like, "Why are you on oxygen?"

You know what I mean? (Laughing)

JILLIAN: It's Christmas.

Like it's winter time.

You should be in a hospital if it's that bad,

but it's not that bad.

They're messing with you.

They're slow playing you.

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: My boyfriend's mom has this weird bird fetish

that has gone unchecked for years.

Like, everything in the house has some kind of a bird on it.

You know, you're sleeping on the goose down comforter,

surrounded by angry birds.

It's like she's never heard of Hitchcock at all.

This is not scary at all.

I went down to get some breakfast in the kitchen.

It was like, "bacaw!"

Suddenly I'm in a weird diorama of "The Land Before Time."

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: We're all under so much pressure during the holidays

to put on airs, you know?

To try to be someone that we think

families want us to be somehow.

Then there are people like Blake, over here.

Blake, he doesn't put on airs or deodorant.

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: Smell you later.

But, I mean, he's a good guy.

I will tell you, when I first met Blake,

I thought he was an ax murderer.

I mean, he's standing there, he's hold a rusty ax.

He's wearing these goggles.

And you know he has that predatory stare he does.

Like he's silently judging you, you know what I mean?

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: He's trying to price your organs.

No, seriously, this guy,

he's got one of those soft, chewy centers, you know?

Those people have the tough exterior

but once you get behind the hockey mask

there's a really nice guy in there.

The kind of guy who sees a family struggling

and builds a whole world out of it.

That brings people together

and delivers Christmas presents to everyone.

He's like a real life Santa Claus.

(Applauding)

JILLIAN: All right, so let's give it up for Blake,

the ax murderer with a heart of gold

and the unidentifiable finger prints,

the guy who put us all together.

(Cheering)

JILLIAN: I love you, my name is Jillian, that's my time.

Goodnight.

BLAKE: Yeah!

(Applauding)

HOST: What do we think, people?

Did she top Garrett?

(Cheering)

HOST: Come on people, what do you say?

Who's slaying it?

Garrett

or Jillian?

CROWD: Jillian!

Jillian!

CROWD: Jillian!

Jillian!

Jillian!

Jillian!

Jillian!

(Cheering)

HOST: That's right, this year's coveted talent trophy

goes to the lady in red, it's Jillian!

(Cheering)

JILLIAN: Thank you so much!

(Applauding)

BLAKE: Wow, that was amazing, how'd it feel up there?

JILLIAN: So good.

I just love this big trophy.

BLAKE: Hey, you earned it, congrats.

JILLIAN: Thank you.

You know who would not have been thrilled by all this?

George. BLAKE: Ah.

JILLIAN: He's projecting and protecting the image

all the time. BLAKE: It's a great image.

Keep it.

Where did you learn how to do that?

JILLIAN: True story.

I grew up in a town not much bigger than this

and those families we helped today,

that was me.

My mom was a single mom pretty much in the same predicament

as that couple that you overheard

at the grocery store that day.

My mom, she struggled a lot.

She worked really, really hard

and I felt pretty helpless as a kid

but there was one thing that I could do.

I could make her laugh.

And when she laughed, I mean, her face just lit up

and all the stress just melted away.

It was the best thing in the world.

I bet it was.

And then, for fun, me and my best friend, Zoe,

we used to do these ridiculous comedy bits

at the community center.

BLAKE: Ah, okay.

JILLIAN: Every week they had a talent show

or a contest or something

and we practically lived at that place.

When I was 16, my mom met someone

and he was nice and he had money,

so suddenly I was in private school

and humor was not gonna help me there.

It was about image and status

and poise.

I just had to fit in with everybody.

So, little by little, I folded up shop on who I was before

and the next thing you know, I didn't feel funny anymore.

BLAKE: Well, I can tell you that you definitely still got it.

(Laughing)

BLAKE: Honestly, that's impressive just being able

to bust out a performance like that out of nowhere.

JILLIAN: It's crazy but I mean,

when you're out there it just goes on

like a switch, you know?

BLAKE: Yeah, that's a really good skill to have.

JILLIAN: I guess so.

I mean, in a way,

when I met George he was pretty much

already well known in the political sphere,

so it's been helpful because I feel like

I've had to be on the entire time.

BLAKE: That's no way to live your life.

And George, I worry about him.

You know, when he makes his announcement tomorrow

about his campaign with the former mayor endorsing him

and this Festerman guy backing him,

I mean, there's no coming back from that.

For either of you.

(Dramatic Music)

JILLIAN: George!

Oh my God, the symphony!

I told him I was gonna be back to meet him!

We gotta go! We gotta go, right now!

JILLIAN: Wow. BLAKE: Looks like they're back.

And then some.

Why don't you go inside, I'll park.

JILLIAN: Thanks, Blake.

This day was pretty great.

I felt like myself.

(Chuckling)

(People Chattering)

GEORGE: There you are, I was getting worried.

Are you feeling better?

JILLIAN: I was a second ago.

Mister and Misses Festerman are here.

(Pleasant Music)

(Somber Music)

GEORGE: Yeah.

The Festermans were so upset they didn't get to see you

that I figured why not invite everyone from the symphony

and our neighbors back to the house for a little party.

JILLIAN: This is so unexpected.

(Clearing Throat)

GEORGE: Oh and I believe you know Juan Gutierrez.

I thought you could give him a little scoop.

JILLIAN: Hello, again.

JUAN: You never did get back to me on clarifying that quote.

JILLIAN: That's because I was sidestepping you, Juan.

(Chuckling)

BILL: Jillian!

JILLIAN: I have to go to my room right now.

GEORGE: Uh.

Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, huh?

Come on, let's go have a drink.

JILLIAN: Come on, pick up, pick up!

Pick up!

ZOE: Jillian, what happened?

Did you got to the symphony? JILLIAN: No.

I went to some charity thing and won a trophy at a bar.

ZOE: That's cool.

JILLIAN: Then George went and brought the Festermans

back from the symphony along with a reporter.

ZOE: Not cool.

JILLIAN: I can't lie, I can't spin.

What am I gonna do?

(Knocking)

GEORGE: Jillian, the Festermans are waiting for you downstairs

and so is Mr. Gutierrez.

I don't understand what's going on with you.

It's like you've checked out.

This is crunch time for us, for the campaign.

Are you coming down?

JILLIAN: Damn it.

I am getting way too good at this.

ZOE: Stop jumping out of houses.

JILLIAN: It's just one house over and over again.

(Sighing)

JILLIAN: I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I cannot go back in there.

ED: Hey. (Gasping)

ED: What're you doing out here without a coat?

Oh, Megan left her bear in the car.

Come on, it's cold as,

it's cold. JILLIAN: Uh huh.

Wish me luck.

ED: What was that? JILLIAN: Huh?

Oh, burr. (Chuckling)

ED: Hey, found Megan's bear and Jillian.

JUAN: Great, you're back.

Miss Welles, I really need clarification--

GEORGE: There you are.

JILLIAN: George, please come outside with me right now.

I've gotta tell you something.

BILL: There you are, finally.

Irene was beginning to think we made you up.

You're one hard lady to pin down, Jillian.

So, why so illusive?

JILLIAN: I've got a file on you

that I've been keeping from George.

BILL: Is there something you'd like to ask me, young lady?

JILLIAN: Yes.

What is the first favor you're gonna ask of George

when he gets elected?

I mean, between the lawsuits and the girlfriends, sorry,

you're not exactly the greatest guy.

I mean, five years ago, you beat out a charter school

to get that city owned barge for your restaurant

and you promised 10 scholarships a year as a stipulation.

I checked.

You've never given one single scholarship.

I knew all of this and I didn't say anything

because I wanted it all so much.

The big backer, the access to other donors,

the campaign, the job opportunities, it brought you.

I told myself it was just politics.

I tried to justify it.

I just thought that if you got elected

we could do so much good.

GEORGE: Jillian.

JILLIAN: I ruined everything.

This whole weekend.

The campaign.

I'm so sorry.

GEORGE: No, Jillian.

Jillian!

JILLIAN: I'm sorry.

(Somber Music)

(Bell Ringing)

SANTA: Ho-ho-ho, happy holidays.

(Phone Ringing)

JILLIAN: Hi.

SANTA: Rough night?

JILLIAN: I had it all right at my fingertips.

The guy, the campaign,

the job interest.

Now I feel like I've just blown everything.

For the record, I am sorry I lied to the little girl.

SANTA: Bethany?

Don't worry about her.

You wouldn't believe some of the doozies that one told.

The truth is, she didn't even want the Poppy Dot.

She just thought she did.

Poppy Dot became an "it toy."

The one everyone has to have.

So, naturally, she thought that's what she wanted to.

She thought it would make her happy.

Happens all the time.

To people of all ages.

JILLIAN: Until all this happened,

I had no idea how much I was lying to people.

I thought it was just part of the job, you know?

A little spin here, a little spin there.

Saying I didn't recall when I clearly did.

Flipping the script, you know?

Then, one day, spinning just spun into lying.

Thinking it was okay to get funded

by somebody like Festerman.

SANTA: There are big lies and small lies,

white lies.

But it's the lies we tell ourselves that do the most harm.

The ones about who we really are,

what will make us happy.

Well,

I've got a long night in front of me.

Merry Christmas, Jillian.

JILLIAN: Merry Christmas, Gucci Santa.

(Laughing)

SANTA: Oh.

And if you're interested.

All is not lost.

All your possibilities are still open.

JILLIAN: I doubt that.

Nobody's gonna believe what happened except for Zoe.

And we all know I can't lie.

SANTA: You can say anything you'd like.

(Laughing)

SANTA: Ho, ho, ho, ho!

(Phone Dial Tone Buzzing)

(Phone Chiming)

ZOE: Are you okay?

JILLIAN: Quick,

ask me what snow is made of.

ZOE: What's snow made of?

JILLIAN: Cheese and avocados.

(Laughing)

JILLIAN: I can lie!

But a lot of good it's gonna do me now.

ZOE: Girl, check your Quixxi Gram.

JILLIAN: For what?

ZOE: Just do it.

JILLIAN: "Tonight I witnessed a Christmas Miracle.

"On the eve of announcing his candidacy for Mayor,

"Councilman George Beauman turned down

"a promised campaign donation from Bill Festerman

"on ethical grounds."

I don't believe it!

George did the right thing.

He turned it around.

Expert spin.

Merry Christmas.

ZOE: Merry Christmas, woo!

(Dramatic Music)

JILLIAN: Did you see?

MOTHER: Oh, I know, my phone is blowing up.

Is that the right term?

FATHER: My phone won't stop ringing either.

It's also blowing up.

JILLIAN: Where is George?

Hey.

GEORGE: Hey.

You went running out here so fast, I wasn't mad at you.

I was just surprised.

And you were just doing your job, right?

JILLIAN: Actually, I think it's time I rethought my job.

GEORGE: Well, after you exposed Festerman for who he really was,

I decided to take a gamble.

JILLIAN: You can't buy that kind of publicity, George.

You're gonna make a great mayor.

GEORGE: You think? JILLIAN: Yeah.

GEORGE: I've been waiting for the right moment to ask you

since you got here.

JILLIAN: Have you noticed that in the short time

that we've been away here,

when we haven't had to be on,

that we really are very different people.

In a way, I feel like you haven't

gotten to meet the real me yet.

And being here, I've kinda gotten back in touch

with who that is.

The truth is,

when I started out,

what I wanted to do was be involved and make a difference.

Somehow, I lost sight of that.

I don't wanna spend my life consulting for other people.

And I don't think I'm ready to be a wife either.

I need to just stand on my own for a bit

and redefine my own path.

MOTHER: I'm never gonna get a wedding, am I?

JILLIAN: Please, I hope you understand.

(Somber Music)

GEORGE: Somehow, I do.

Come here.

JILLIAN: George.

(Upbeat Music)

GEORGE: Merry Christmas.

I'm City Councilman, George Beauman,

here at home, with my family for the holidays

and I'd like to take the opportunity to announce,

in case you haven't heard,

that I am running for Mayor of New York City.

(Phone Chiming)

POPPY DOT: Poppy Dot loves everyone!

THERESA: Thank you, Jillian.

JILLIAN: It's the least I could do, Theresa.

THERESA: I'm really glad you're doing this.

I'm so proud of you.

JILLIAN: Wish me luck.

THERESA: Go get 'em.

JILLIAN: Hello.

I'm Jillian Welles

here at the East Side Community Center's

Pancake Breakfast and Rally for the City Oasis Project.

This place is incredibly special to me

and that's why I wanted it to be here

that I announce that I am running for City Council.

(Applauding)

(Upbeat Music)

(Ending Credit Music)