All language subtitles for Subferatu.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x264

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 (pensive music) (typewriter keys clacking) 2 00:00:20,904 --> 00:00:23,039 (typewriter dings) (pensive music) 3 00:00:23,039 --> 00:00:28,039 (waves crashing) (thunder rumbling) 4 00:00:35,822 --> 00:00:38,572 Commander, do you still see it? 5 00:00:40,060 --> 00:00:41,263 Yes, I see it. 6 00:00:42,183 --> 00:00:43,550 It appears to be going down 7 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:46,313 and it looks like there are survivors. 8 00:00:47,233 --> 00:00:49,243 But there was nothing a moment before. 9 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:52,183 I can't understand it. 10 00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:54,474 The poor sailors. 11 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,370 Maybe we should fire a torpedo at them! 12 00:00:57,603 --> 00:00:58,853 What, why? 13 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:00,763 I don't know. 14 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,103 Might be fun. 15 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,503 It would be idiotic. 16 00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,403 They are in God's hands now. 17 00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:09,053 Commander, set a course for the sinking craft. 18 00:01:09,260 --> 00:01:10,491 In this weather? 19 00:01:10,491 --> 00:01:12,773 But we risk going down ourselves. 20 00:01:12,890 --> 00:01:14,100 Let's shoot a torpedo at them. 21 00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:18,023 You will do as you're ordered, Commander, 22 00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:20,983 if you want to stay on the Fuhrer's good side. 23 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:22,453 This is my ship. 24 00:01:23,420 --> 00:01:25,020 I am the commander, not you. 25 00:01:25,020 --> 00:01:29,920 We will rescue the survivors, Commander, at any cost. 26 00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:31,780 But are we taking them prisoner? 27 00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:33,063 Just pull them aboard. 28 00:01:33,063 --> 00:01:35,513 They'll be so happy to be rescued, 29 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:37,673 they won't ask any questions. 30 00:01:38,591 --> 00:01:41,395 (Braunschweiger sighs) (pensive music) 31 00:01:41,395 --> 00:01:44,562 Bierficker, three degrees starboard. 32 00:01:47,099 --> 00:01:47,932 Meine? 33 00:01:51,409 --> 00:01:53,242 Meine, pull the clamp. 34 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:56,313 Yes, Commander? 35 00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,003 Full power to the diesel engines, immediately. 36 00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:02,110 Right away, Commander. 37 00:02:02,906 --> 00:02:04,406 We do not know who they are. 38 00:02:04,423 --> 00:02:06,163 They could be dangerous. 39 00:02:06,366 --> 00:02:07,673 We should be armed. 40 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,523 On the contrary, Lieutenant. 41 00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:11,260 Please set out the fine china 42 00:02:11,260 --> 00:02:13,010 and prepare a tea service for them. 43 00:02:13,022 --> 00:02:16,583 Maybe some of those lemon cookies from Berlin. 44 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:19,603 [Gluhwein] This is obvious sarcasm, Lieutenant. 45 00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:20,563 Disregard those orders. 46 00:02:20,563 --> 00:02:23,693 Valentiner, get the life vests and prepare the hatch. 47 00:02:23,830 --> 00:02:25,753 Be alert for any sign of danger. 48 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:28,143 I want them alive, Commander. 49 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:29,693 Do you understand me? 50 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:30,833 Alive. 51 00:02:30,980 --> 00:02:31,813 Yes. 52 00:02:31,936 --> 00:02:32,769 Heil Hitler. 53 00:02:32,769 --> 00:02:33,936 Heil Donitz. 54 00:02:34,570 --> 00:02:36,313 It doesn't have the same ring does it? 55 00:02:36,313 --> 00:02:38,940 You are right, heil Hitler was perfect. 56 00:02:38,940 --> 00:02:40,240 So perfect. 57 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:43,857 But there's no going back in time, Commander. 58 00:02:43,857 --> 00:02:47,107 No, I suppose we will get used to it. 59 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:48,293 Heil Donitz. 60 00:02:49,198 --> 00:02:50,059 (Bierficker scoffs) 61 00:02:50,059 --> 00:02:52,726 (pensive music) 62 00:03:22,965 --> 00:03:27,965 (water splashing) (pensive music) 63 00:03:30,445 --> 00:03:35,445 (rats squeaking) (pensive music) 64 00:03:36,489 --> 00:03:41,489 (door creaks) (pensive music) 65 00:03:50,325 --> 00:03:55,325 (water splashing) (pensive music) 66 00:04:01,394 --> 00:04:06,394 (metal clanging) (pensive music) 67 00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,720 (waves crashing) 68 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,033 [Captain McCloud] Time. 69 00:04:16,937 --> 00:04:18,573 What is it exactly? 70 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,350 What did they always say? 71 00:04:22,007 --> 00:04:25,047 "Half past a monkey's ass, a quarter 'til his balls?" 72 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,800 But what does it mean? 73 00:04:27,116 --> 00:04:30,734 (gentle music) (seagulls squawking) 74 00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:32,403 Good afternoon, Sir. 75 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,393 Is it though, Grady? 76 00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:36,643 Sir? 77 00:04:37,450 --> 00:04:39,030 I had a headache last night before bed 78 00:04:39,030 --> 00:04:42,573 and took four Ambien instead of four aspirin my mistake. 79 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:43,413 Oh no. 80 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:44,453 Woke up between the bed 81 00:04:44,453 --> 00:04:47,403 and the nightstand wearing Day Glow Lipstick. 82 00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:50,533 Well, today's an entirely new day, Sir. 83 00:04:51,140 --> 00:04:52,360 Hearing you might be running low, 84 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,470 I took the liberty of refilling 85 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,800 a little of your special blend. 86 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,590 I gotta quit this stuff someday. 87 00:04:57,590 --> 00:04:59,603 [Grady] Don't be silly, Sir. 88 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:02,703 Don't all doctors now agree that smoking is good for you? 89 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:04,183 Bloodsuckers. 90 00:05:04,380 --> 00:05:05,213 [Grady] Sir? 91 00:05:05,213 --> 00:05:06,653 I've seen 'em, Grady. 92 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,700 Oh, that reminds me, Sir. 93 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:10,803 Your ex wife's attorney called again. 94 00:05:11,123 --> 00:05:13,393 They only come out at night. 95 00:05:14,460 --> 00:05:17,086 Scarlet lips and long white teeth glistening 96 00:05:17,086 --> 00:05:18,213 in the moonlight. 97 00:05:18,570 --> 00:05:21,320 Shall I have them speak with your attorney directly then? 98 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,363 They'll come for me eventually, Grady. 99 00:05:23,899 --> 00:05:27,637 And when they do, I'm done for. 100 00:05:28,446 --> 00:05:31,260 Maybe we should get you out of this sunlight, Sir. 101 00:05:31,449 --> 00:05:32,282 What? 102 00:05:33,450 --> 00:05:34,283 Oh. 103 00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,183 Don't listen to me, Grady. 104 00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:41,343 I'm just an old sailor thinking back on the good ol' days. 105 00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:43,773 Life at sea is it, Sir? 106 00:05:43,790 --> 00:05:47,623 Out there away from all this. 107 00:05:48,180 --> 00:05:51,073 War is a terrific enterprise isn't it, Sir? 108 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,043 That it is. 109 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,030 I remember back at school we used to thrill 110 00:05:55,030 --> 00:05:58,383 to the tales of the great warrior heroes. 111 00:05:58,580 --> 00:06:01,340 Ulysses, Julius Caesar, King-- 112 00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:03,954 -You can go now, Grady. -Very good, Sir. 113 00:06:03,954 --> 00:06:05,624 (seagulls squawking) (gentle music) 114 00:06:05,624 --> 00:06:07,923 [Captain McCloud] We were talking about time. 115 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:11,533 Time enough for the beach, pineapple drinks, 116 00:06:11,570 --> 00:06:15,220 butlers and apparently an army of lawyers led 117 00:06:15,220 --> 00:06:19,543 by my ex-wife threatening to juice me like a Florida orange. 118 00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:23,610 But in my book, if you haven't been cleaned out 119 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:27,223 by at least two ex-wives, you haven't made it yet. 120 00:06:27,915 --> 00:06:30,890 And for all you doubting Thomas's out there wondering 121 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,960 how in the hell an ex-sailor can afford his own butler, 122 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,763 relax and just fucking enjoy the story. 123 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:39,990 They tell me it would make a hell of a movie someday, 124 00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:42,083 but I'm not the Hollywood type. 125 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,973 I'm just a sailor. 126 00:06:44,634 --> 00:06:48,363 So my literary agent will probably handle the film rights. 127 00:06:48,610 --> 00:06:52,493 Anyway, this is my story. 128 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,770 We were pulled out of the water 129 00:06:55,770 --> 00:06:57,573 and into a strange vessel. 130 00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:00,980 Our own ship was swallowed up in a midnight squall 131 00:07:00,980 --> 00:07:02,771 off the coast of Puerto Rico on what 132 00:07:02,771 --> 00:07:05,343 was supposed to be a three hour tour. 133 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:10,253 That storm came outta nowhere, not forecast at all, 134 00:07:10,820 --> 00:07:12,523 like some sort of cruel joke 135 00:07:12,523 --> 00:07:15,513 the old man in the sky would make to pass the time. 136 00:07:16,319 --> 00:07:21,123 But then again cruel joke is my middle name. 137 00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,988 Actually, my middle is Stewart but I'm not 138 00:07:24,988 --> 00:07:26,509 here to measure dicks about who's 139 00:07:26,509 --> 00:07:29,103 been in more fucked up situations. 140 00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:31,930 Point is, if you haven't been dumped into 141 00:07:31,930 --> 00:07:34,468 the ocean in a storm at midnight, 142 00:07:34,468 --> 00:07:37,503 you're not missing anything, believe me. 143 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,509 It sucks the big one. 144 00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:42,176 (pensive music) 145 00:07:45,302 --> 00:07:46,290 Where are we? 146 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:48,093 Well, how the fuck should I know? 147 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,097 Looks like an old ship. 148 00:07:50,097 --> 00:07:52,023 Yeah, well, what else ya got? 149 00:07:52,507 --> 00:07:55,257 (water gurgling) 150 00:07:57,979 --> 00:07:59,325 (dramatic music) 151 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,073 An old German ship? 152 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,613 Yeah, you on a roll. 153 00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:05,613 Hands off. 154 00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:09,653 Oh, good. 155 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:11,080 For a minute there I was worried 156 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,553 we were rescued by the wrong sort of people. 157 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:16,710 This belong to you? 158 00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:18,840 Thanks, Ribbonclerk. 159 00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,863 I was aiming for that German kid. 160 00:08:21,950 --> 00:08:23,680 That's why they don't let women play baseball. 161 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,620 Is that your shitty Irish half 162 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,556 or your shitty Japanese half saying that? 163 00:08:27,556 --> 00:08:29,250 I don't know, what side do you think it is? 164 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,597 It's obvious, believe me. 165 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:31,770 [Ribbonclerk] What's the supposed to mean? 166 00:08:31,770 --> 00:08:33,340 -Figure it out, genius. -Racist. 167 00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,070 -Shit for brains. -Hey, hey, hey! 168 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:35,903 I hate to break up what y'all 169 00:08:35,903 --> 00:08:38,385 got goin' on right now but does anybody know 170 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,130 where the hell we are? 171 00:08:40,130 --> 00:08:41,940 What is all this stuff? 172 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,115 There must be at least a dozen passports. 173 00:08:44,115 --> 00:08:46,580 They're all from the 30s and 40s. 174 00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:48,700 Everything is totally vintage. 175 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,553 Strange haul for a pirate ship. 176 00:08:50,553 --> 00:08:52,660 Man, has anybody seen Captain McCloud? 177 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:55,244 Maybe he was shot trying to stage a mutiny. 178 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,803 I wouldn't put it past him. 179 00:08:56,810 --> 00:08:58,623 It's just the type of man he was. 180 00:08:58,790 --> 00:09:00,240 He gave knew meaning to the word courage. 181 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,270 He gave new meaning to a lot of words 182 00:09:02,270 --> 00:09:05,290 like captain and pleasure cruise. 183 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:08,020 And that makes me his first mate in charge. 184 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:08,853 Say what? 185 00:09:08,853 --> 00:09:11,930 You're not a first mate, Ribbonclerk, 186 00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:14,330 despite what your snazzy outfit is telling you 187 00:09:14,330 --> 00:09:17,579 anymore than Roosevelt here is an entertainment director 188 00:09:17,579 --> 00:09:19,740 and I'm a cruise ship hostess 189 00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:21,310 and whatever Atticus was. 190 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,680 You was in charge of snacks. 191 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,780 There was a little more to it then that. 192 00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:26,483 No, snacks. 193 00:09:26,730 --> 00:09:28,180 -That's all you did. (hatch creaking) 194 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:29,683 Captain, you're alive! 195 00:09:30,010 --> 00:09:30,980 [Scarlet] For a terrifying moment 196 00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,963 we thought Ribbonclerk was in charge. 197 00:09:33,030 --> 00:09:35,630 We thought maybe you got killed trying to save us. 198 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:37,393 Killed trying to save you? 199 00:09:37,393 --> 00:09:39,733 Yeah, like some ex Marine shit or something. 200 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,293 Ex Marine? 201 00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:42,519 I thought about whacking a few 202 00:09:42,519 --> 00:09:44,283 of 'em when I was out there. 203 00:09:44,650 --> 00:09:47,163 Sure, woulda been a cinch. 204 00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:50,930 I know they wanted me to, hoping I'd slip up 205 00:09:50,930 --> 00:09:54,053 and they'd get the jump on me and dip me back in the drink. 206 00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:56,040 But I fooled 'em all right. 207 00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:57,883 Yes, Siree. 208 00:09:57,940 --> 00:09:59,781 I played it nice and safe. 209 00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:01,900 Did everything they said to the letter 210 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,970 so I could make it back here knowing 211 00:10:04,970 --> 00:10:07,103 how worried you all must be. 212 00:10:07,110 --> 00:10:09,103 Captain, you're totally dry. 213 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,353 Huh, how 'bout that? 214 00:10:12,555 --> 00:10:14,650 Just one of those things I guess. 215 00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:15,792 Good old Captain McCloud. 216 00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:17,498 (pensive music) 217 00:10:17,690 --> 00:10:18,690 I got ya, Captain. 218 00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:23,673 Oh, I'm just trying to get used to the thin air in here, 219 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,283 and the space. 220 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:28,453 Sure is a small space isn't it? 221 00:10:29,470 --> 00:10:30,573 And mostly metal. 222 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:32,483 Small, metal and thin air. 223 00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:34,523 The big three. 224 00:10:34,523 --> 00:10:35,440 Are you all right? 225 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,713 You look like shit, man. 226 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:38,530 Those Germans come back here yet? 227 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:39,710 They are Germans, then? 228 00:10:39,710 --> 00:10:41,893 Yeah, sure they are. 229 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,760 Didn't anyone get a looksee at the side of this oil can? 230 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:50,247 We're all now guests on the good ol' U-666. 231 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,173 U-666? 232 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,790 It ain't The Good Ship Lollipop, Roosevelt, 233 00:10:55,795 --> 00:10:57,663 but that's not what worries me. 234 00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:59,380 We are all adults here, Captain. 235 00:10:59,380 --> 00:11:00,620 You can level with us. 236 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:01,720 True that. 237 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,053 Anybody notice something strange about this ship? 238 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,090 [Atticus] Are you talking about the Hitler picture? 239 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,590 Yeah, lots of old ships probably 240 00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:11,490 have pictures of Hitler in 'em, right? 241 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,220 We are in the forward torpedo bay 242 00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:17,543 of a fully operational Kriegsmarine, 243 00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:21,960 World War II era, type seven class German submarine. 244 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:22,850 Damn, Captain. 245 00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:23,683 How you know that? 246 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,630 I'm a sailor, Roosevelt, and I guess you could 247 00:11:26,630 --> 00:11:29,714 say knowing these kinds of things goes with the territory. 248 00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:31,594 And it's written right by the door. 249 00:11:31,594 --> 00:11:35,271 (pensive music) (Captain McCloud coughing) 250 00:11:35,271 --> 00:11:38,805 All of you, get in the line! 251 00:11:38,805 --> 00:11:40,722 You're to be inspected! 252 00:11:41,024 --> 00:11:45,167 You will now place your weapons on the floor, now! 253 00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,858 Why were you floating in the ocean? 254 00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:55,667 Where is your ship? 255 00:11:56,670 --> 00:12:00,393 Which one of you is the captain? 256 00:12:02,643 --> 00:12:04,726 And why is there a woman? 257 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:09,528 A black man? 258 00:12:09,931 --> 00:12:12,598 (pensive music) 259 00:12:17,545 --> 00:12:18,628 What are you? 260 00:12:22,837 --> 00:12:26,903 And a Japanese looking American man? 261 00:12:26,931 --> 00:12:29,772 (Bierficker speaking in foreign language) 262 00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:30,773 And, 263 00:12:34,668 --> 00:12:37,698 (Bierficker sniffing) (pensive music) 264 00:12:37,698 --> 00:12:38,615 a woodsman? 265 00:12:39,228 --> 00:12:40,383 A woodsman? 266 00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:44,053 Son, I think I can answer all these questions. 267 00:12:44,310 --> 00:12:47,033 I'm the captain and this is my crew. 268 00:12:47,317 --> 00:12:49,084 (Bierficker laughs) 269 00:12:49,084 --> 00:12:51,293 You are the captain of this ship? 270 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,710 Is this how the Americans dress for war? 271 00:12:53,710 --> 00:12:54,543 War? 272 00:12:55,680 --> 00:13:00,053 So, I guess what they say is true. 273 00:13:00,690 --> 00:13:05,163 The Americans allow prostitutes on their ships. 274 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,233 Young man, did you just call me a prostitute? 275 00:13:08,582 --> 00:13:11,432 Maybe as the shoe fits, (speaking in foreign language). 276 00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:18,923 Just playing along here but like, 277 00:13:19,489 --> 00:13:23,990 a high class prostitute for officers-- 278 00:13:23,990 --> 00:13:25,190 High class (chuckles). 279 00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,663 Don't make me laugh. 280 00:13:26,663 --> 00:13:27,580 (fist thuds) 281 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,580 (Bierficker thuds) (gun clattering) 282 00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:34,563 No bullets. 283 00:13:34,890 --> 00:13:36,875 In six months time I will be old enough 284 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,873 to use live ammunition. 285 00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,883 I'm only 16! 286 00:13:41,142 --> 00:13:44,563 Well, then in six months if I see you with a gun, 287 00:13:44,601 --> 00:13:46,493 I'll get nervous. 288 00:13:50,359 --> 00:13:53,610 All right, I'll go straighten this out. 289 00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,220 Stay put and for Christ's sakes 290 00:13:56,220 --> 00:13:58,543 don't touch anything near the torpedo bay. 291 00:13:58,549 --> 00:14:00,763 I'll be back as soon as I can. 292 00:14:02,100 --> 00:14:06,483 Okay, hot stuff, let's go see the head sardine. 293 00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,683 (gentle music) 294 00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:18,833 Good news, Master, we'll be arriving 295 00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,420 in less than three days. 296 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:24,300 Yes, three days, then they will see something. 297 00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:26,803 Then we will have the last laugh. 298 00:14:28,905 --> 00:14:32,473 (Gluhwein laughs) (pensive music) 299 00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:34,760 Sorry, it just felt right. 300 00:14:35,537 --> 00:14:36,370 Goodnight. 301 00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:41,926 (hatch clangs) (pensive music) 302 00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:49,803 You know those Lugers are famous for jamming, right? 303 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:54,016 (lighter clicks) 304 00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,593 Especially when they're loaded. 305 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,235 If you don't say anything about 306 00:14:57,235 --> 00:14:58,787 what happened earlier I can get 307 00:14:58,787 --> 00:15:00,703 you an extra potato for dinner. 308 00:15:02,016 --> 00:15:03,432 You got it, spuds. 309 00:15:03,432 --> 00:15:06,099 (pensive music) 310 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,663 I am the captain of this ship, 311 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,673 Commander Rudolph Braunschweiger. 312 00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:26,660 Pleased to meet you, Rudy. 313 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,523 I'm Captain Gavin McCloud, 314 00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,763 but most people call me Captain Gavin McCloud. 315 00:15:34,353 --> 00:15:37,453 Your cigarette has an interesting aroma, Captain. 316 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,490 I could say the same thing about your boat. 317 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:41,950 If I didn't know any better, 318 00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:45,563 I'd say it was Cannabis Sativa? 319 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,420 And if I didn't know any better, 320 00:15:47,450 --> 00:15:49,413 I'd say your wearing women's cologne. 321 00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:52,093 (pensive music) 322 00:15:55,865 --> 00:15:58,822 (Braunschweiger sighs) 323 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:00,380 You don't seem very grateful 324 00:16:00,380 --> 00:16:03,313 for having been pulled out of the ocean half dead. 325 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:06,893 Sorry if I don't seem grateful, Rudy, 326 00:16:07,066 --> 00:16:08,660 but somehow I'm not myself 327 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:12,163 with a loaded gun sticking in my ribs. 328 00:16:13,446 --> 00:16:16,343 Bierficker, take your position. 329 00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:24,590 It is a shame that our two great nations 330 00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:26,823 cannot rationally work out our differences. 331 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,653 After all, we both want the same things, yes? 332 00:16:34,930 --> 00:16:36,180 And what might that be? 333 00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:38,623 To live in a world without war. 334 00:16:39,031 --> 00:16:42,200 To be free from the clutches of corrupt politicians 335 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,783 and that our children might never know suffering and want. 336 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,484 Great slogan, Rudy, but you might 337 00:16:49,484 --> 00:16:52,653 have trouble fitting all that on the side of your boat. 338 00:16:53,771 --> 00:16:57,453 Violence is our essential nature, Captain McCloud. 339 00:16:58,570 --> 00:17:01,623 As a fellow Navy man surely you must agree. 340 00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:06,513 Didn't you guys just try this 20 years ago? 341 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,523 Maybe this time there is hope. 342 00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:15,490 Sure, hope, the thing with wings. 343 00:17:15,490 --> 00:17:17,982 (pensive music) 344 00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:19,993 What happened to your ship? 345 00:17:19,993 --> 00:17:22,823 Unexpected storm off the coast of Puerto Rico. 346 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:26,623 Giant squall seemed to appear outta nowhere. 347 00:17:27,890 --> 00:17:32,337 The boat capsized and that was it. 348 00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:35,003 We have lost ships here as well. 349 00:17:35,915 --> 00:17:36,748 You don't say. 350 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,753 Since when? 351 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:40,783 Since the beginning of the war. 352 00:17:40,950 --> 00:17:43,150 Since the very beginning, huh? 353 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:44,243 Yes. 354 00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:47,883 Well, since you Americans joined the party, 355 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,293 maybe four years now. 356 00:17:50,790 --> 00:17:52,263 So, that makes it what? 357 00:17:53,063 --> 00:17:56,103 1945? 358 00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:59,493 Did you misplace what year it was along with your boat? 359 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:01,533 Okay. 360 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:04,083 So I'm in shock. 361 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:08,650 Can't a guy lose his ship, nearly drown in a raging storm 362 00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:11,163 and be a little confused once in awhile? 363 00:18:11,619 --> 00:18:14,286 (pensive music) 364 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,927 What sort of ship was it? 365 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:23,623 I assume some kind of subchaser or PT boat? 366 00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:27,000 I gotta get up pretty early in the morning to fool you. 367 00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,120 -So which was it? -Which was what? 368 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:31,157 What sort of ship was it? 369 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:32,203 I just told you. 370 00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:34,550 Why are you playing games with me, Captain? 371 00:18:34,550 --> 00:18:38,533 Speaking of games, what's yours? 372 00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:41,490 Why did you bother to pick us up out there? 373 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:43,930 I wasn't aware the Germans took prisoners. 374 00:18:44,349 --> 00:18:47,850 What else about our plans are you aware of, Captain? 375 00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:50,549 Well, I couldn't help but notice 376 00:18:50,549 --> 00:18:55,549 you've got an awfully small crew for such a big submarine. 377 00:18:56,070 --> 00:18:56,903 Oh? 378 00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:58,320 You don't actually expect me to believe 379 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,377 you're running this tin can with half a dozen men do you? 380 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,853 For a man in a shock, little seems to escape you. 381 00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:07,903 And there's something else. 382 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,807 Somebody on this tin coffin just ripped ass. 383 00:19:12,807 --> 00:19:14,190 (Valentiner sniffing) 384 00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:17,313 Sure, a real nose reaper. 385 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:19,830 Why didn't you have the God damn decency 386 00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:21,573 to leave the deck first? 387 00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:25,303 I would like a word with you, alone. 388 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:29,053 It was probably that guy. 389 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,100 You can tell just by the look on his face. 390 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,193 We have dallied here long enough. 391 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,973 Come, there is coffee. 392 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:39,863 Sure, Rudy, sure. 393 00:19:40,315 --> 00:19:43,480 Only, could you have The Red Baron there run 394 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,783 some water and some supplies back to my crew? 395 00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,840 If he's not too busy, that is. 396 00:19:48,368 --> 00:19:50,268 -Herr Bierficker? -Yeah, Commander? 397 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:52,533 Run some water to his crew. 398 00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:54,808 [Bierficker] Heil Donitz! 399 00:19:55,673 --> 00:19:56,720 Heil Donitz. 400 00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:57,903 Heil donuts? 401 00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,680 You are going to pretend you didn't know the Fuhrer, 402 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,893 Adolf Hitler died last night? 403 00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,563 Sure, I knew. 404 00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:07,433 Who didn't? 405 00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:12,803 Yes, well, Donitz is now Commander in Chief. 406 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,263 Come, we have much to discuss. 407 00:20:16,652 --> 00:20:19,319 (pensive music) 408 00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:31,909 (propeller whirring) 409 00:20:32,490 --> 00:20:34,048 -Captain, what's going on? -So, what happened? 410 00:20:34,048 --> 00:20:36,510 -What did they want? -Are they really Germans? 411 00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:37,523 [All] Yes! 412 00:20:38,150 --> 00:20:39,163 What's that smell? 413 00:20:40,530 --> 00:20:43,423 That's just a little crop dusting, sweetheart. 414 00:20:45,230 --> 00:20:48,153 The sheer lasting power of that one was incredible. 415 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,993 Too complicated to explain. 416 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,470 I think I understand. 417 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:54,470 I cut one loose, a real nasty one 418 00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:57,703 and then blamed it on them to see how they'd react. 419 00:20:57,880 --> 00:20:58,880 So, what happened? 420 00:20:59,690 --> 00:21:03,450 Nothing really but sometimes you gotta improvise, ya know? 421 00:21:03,450 --> 00:21:05,049 To see how far into the woods you can go 422 00:21:05,049 --> 00:21:08,140 before you get lost or run out of breadcrumbs. 423 00:21:08,140 --> 00:21:09,600 So, Captain, what's the skinny? 424 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,053 I've got some good news and I've got some bad news. 425 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,480 Well, I think we could all use 426 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,513 a little good news around here, Captain. 427 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:18,693 Hitler's dead. 428 00:21:19,420 --> 00:21:21,803 Is that the extent of the good news? 429 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,403 The long and the short of it is, 430 00:21:25,277 --> 00:21:27,330 this boat is currently fighting 431 00:21:27,330 --> 00:21:28,810 in the Battle of the Atlantic 432 00:21:28,810 --> 00:21:32,370 for Nazi Germany against the U.S. and England. 433 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:35,493 Around May 1945 I believe. 434 00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:37,670 The Commander wants our help 435 00:21:37,670 --> 00:21:40,193 in surrendering this ship to the United States. 436 00:21:40,370 --> 00:21:42,943 New York City Harbor to be exact. 437 00:21:43,630 --> 00:21:48,200 He figures we can cruise in, raise the white flag 438 00:21:48,252 --> 00:21:50,823 and make radio contact with America, 439 00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,990 with he and his crew as our prisoners. 440 00:21:53,990 --> 00:21:56,310 What was that about 1945? 441 00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:57,883 That was the bad news? 442 00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:01,806 The way I see it, somewhere back off 443 00:22:01,806 --> 00:22:03,683 the coast of Puerto Rico, 444 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,596 either we went back into the past 445 00:22:05,596 --> 00:22:07,593 or they went into the future. 446 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,760 But either way for the moment we're stuck here on this ship 447 00:22:12,220 --> 00:22:15,293 wherever or whenever that is. 448 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:16,373 Captain? 449 00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:23,823 Maybe we should take a little look at our crew. 450 00:22:24,450 --> 00:22:29,143 Take inventory, test the strength of the chain. 451 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,803 Find weaknesses by any means necessary. 452 00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:38,283 Eliminate the dead weight for the survival of the group. 453 00:22:40,010 --> 00:22:42,347 I don't think we're quite at that stage just yet 454 00:22:42,347 --> 00:22:46,193 but thank you, Scarlet, I think. 455 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:53,200 Look, everybody, I know this isn't the cruise you expected. 456 00:22:53,902 --> 00:22:55,883 But I want you all to know one thing. 457 00:22:56,580 --> 00:22:58,623 When I deputized you for this trip, 458 00:22:58,850 --> 00:23:02,000 I made each and every one of you sort of 459 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,773 an officer in kind of a Navy, 460 00:23:05,330 --> 00:23:09,293 and I meant every word I said or meant to say. 461 00:23:09,830 --> 00:23:13,030 Why, when we set sail from Miami to Puerto Rico 462 00:23:13,030 --> 00:23:16,123 I could inhale with ease knowing you all had a job to do. 463 00:23:16,910 --> 00:23:19,600 Whether it was running the ship when 464 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:21,303 I was indisposed or asleep, 465 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:24,943 maintaining the highest standard of music and entertainment, 466 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:28,613 or even snacks. 467 00:23:28,860 --> 00:23:30,690 I did more than snacks. 468 00:23:30,690 --> 00:23:32,930 I don't suppose anybody's cellphone made it? 469 00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:34,663 Oh, shit, I forgot. 470 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:36,920 -Oh, thank God! -I'm not getting 471 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:38,283 any service, though. 472 00:23:39,020 --> 00:23:40,373 It says no bars. 473 00:23:40,930 --> 00:23:41,763 Who's your carrier? 474 00:23:41,763 --> 00:23:43,933 Try and see if you can get any reception on that thing, 475 00:23:43,933 --> 00:23:46,768 but for Christ sake's, keep it hidden. 476 00:23:46,768 --> 00:23:49,973 Germans have a real hard-on for technology. 477 00:23:50,010 --> 00:23:52,220 So, wait, they think they're in the present, 478 00:23:52,220 --> 00:23:54,603 but for us it's really the past? 479 00:23:54,870 --> 00:23:57,453 Or we think we're in the past, 480 00:23:57,892 --> 00:24:00,843 but it's really the present which is the past? 481 00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:03,223 The Bermuda Triangle. 482 00:24:03,390 --> 00:24:04,223 The what? 483 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,784 The Bermuda Triangle. 484 00:24:05,784 --> 00:24:08,093 That's where we were when our ship sank. 485 00:24:08,310 --> 00:24:09,460 That's gotta be it. 486 00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:12,210 Oh, right, right after we saw the Loch Ness Monster. 487 00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:13,260 This some bullshit. 488 00:24:14,060 --> 00:24:15,833 I paid for a Caribbean cruise. 489 00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,123 Bermuda Triangle, Hitler, time travel? 490 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:20,820 This happen on all your cruises? 491 00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:22,590 Captain, isn't there some sort 492 00:24:22,590 --> 00:24:26,913 of scientific way to discover where or when we are? 493 00:24:27,940 --> 00:24:29,840 On the command deck there's a radio, 494 00:24:30,510 --> 00:24:31,697 but my guess is they aren't using 495 00:24:31,697 --> 00:24:33,943 it much to avoid radar detection. 496 00:24:34,170 --> 00:24:38,670 In second life, I have a fully operational Model S Tesla, 497 00:24:38,670 --> 00:24:40,743 which I 3D modeled myself. 498 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,170 Here's the thing, though. 499 00:24:42,430 --> 00:24:44,620 It's not only gasoline powered instead 500 00:24:44,620 --> 00:24:46,900 of the lame-o stock electric power, 501 00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:51,313 but it's a vehicle that is itself a time machine, 502 00:24:51,450 --> 00:24:53,170 thanks to a new energy storage device 503 00:24:53,170 --> 00:24:55,923 that harnesses the power of real lightening. 504 00:24:56,350 --> 00:24:58,210 I just thought I'd throw that out there. 505 00:24:58,210 --> 00:24:59,133 Sounds familiar. 506 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:00,640 [Ribbonclerk] If we're in the past then 507 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,292 how do we get back to the present? 508 00:25:02,292 --> 00:25:04,007 I don't know. 509 00:25:04,007 --> 00:25:05,876 If we're in the present and they're in the future, 510 00:25:05,876 --> 00:25:07,411 how do we return them to the past? 511 00:25:07,411 --> 00:25:08,244 I don't know. 512 00:25:08,244 --> 00:25:10,137 -If I die-- -Would you please shut up? 513 00:25:10,137 --> 00:25:12,060 If you're all looking for a lot 514 00:25:12,060 --> 00:25:16,095 of phony assurances that everything's gonna be okay, 515 00:25:16,095 --> 00:25:18,186 that I've got all the answers 516 00:25:18,186 --> 00:25:21,993 and that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real, 517 00:25:22,630 --> 00:25:24,530 then yeah, everything's gonna be fine. 518 00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:27,020 You thinkin' way too hard about this, Captain. 519 00:25:27,020 --> 00:25:28,936 Time travel, that's just as real 520 00:25:28,936 --> 00:25:31,773 as Snacks here's second life Tesla. 521 00:25:32,180 --> 00:25:33,982 Exactly and I don't think I feel 522 00:25:33,982 --> 00:25:38,483 like helping out a buncha Nazis, even if it is 1945. 523 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:40,730 So they just need our help surrendering 524 00:25:40,730 --> 00:25:42,233 the ship in New York Harbor? 525 00:25:42,830 --> 00:25:43,663 That's all? 526 00:25:43,700 --> 00:25:44,580 That's what they said. 527 00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:46,400 But how do we know they're not setting 528 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,490 us up for some kinda double cross. 529 00:25:48,490 --> 00:25:49,739 We don't have a choice. 530 00:25:49,739 --> 00:25:52,870 It's join up with these nutty cherries or us. 531 00:25:52,870 --> 00:25:54,823 Captain, there's something else. 532 00:25:55,130 --> 00:25:57,037 While you were out, I found this. 533 00:25:57,037 --> 00:25:58,333 (dramatic music) 534 00:25:58,430 --> 00:25:59,333 It's locked. 535 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:00,353 What is it? 536 00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:02,070 Anybody here speak Squarehead? 537 00:26:02,130 --> 00:26:02,963 Squarehead? 538 00:26:02,963 --> 00:26:04,880 It's a derisive term for Germans 539 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,780 you hear in old films when they're portrayed as the enemy. 540 00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:09,380 I'm tryin' to get in the mood. 541 00:26:10,740 --> 00:26:12,990 Well, that first word is obviously vampire. 542 00:26:13,780 --> 00:26:15,373 And the last word is kit. 543 00:26:15,570 --> 00:26:19,743 What would these kooky Jerry's have a vampire kit for? 544 00:26:20,550 --> 00:26:21,923 It must be some kinda joke. 545 00:26:22,030 --> 00:26:23,423 What sort of joke? 546 00:26:23,442 --> 00:26:26,253 I don't know, Krauts have a strange sense of humor. 547 00:26:26,410 --> 00:26:27,493 Put that thing away. 548 00:26:27,700 --> 00:26:29,450 Captain, what are we going to do? 549 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,370 We've gotta tell these filthy Huns something 550 00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:34,870 they'll believe until we find out what's going on. 551 00:26:35,198 --> 00:26:37,310 Right now they think we're military 552 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,433 and that may be our only chance of getting outta here, 553 00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:43,903 and that's if and it's a big if, 554 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,940 we somehow make it back without getting deep-sixed 555 00:26:46,940 --> 00:26:48,373 by the real U.S. Navy. 556 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,303 In what era, though? 557 00:26:50,460 --> 00:26:51,293 Precisely. 558 00:26:51,340 --> 00:26:53,173 Guys, I'm starting to freak out. 559 00:26:53,250 --> 00:26:55,859 I really feel like I might be the expendable one here. 560 00:26:55,859 --> 00:26:58,510 The play is to get together a cover story 561 00:26:58,510 --> 00:27:01,373 for each of us and what kinda ship we were on. 562 00:27:02,470 --> 00:27:04,003 Until we find out the truth, 563 00:27:04,003 --> 00:27:06,973 ol' Fritzy is gonna think we're on his time. 564 00:27:08,009 --> 00:27:10,053 Stick with your military cover. 565 00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:12,093 The job's ya had on my ship. 566 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,140 I don't wanna be Snacks. 567 00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:15,830 You want these creepy Heinies to throw 568 00:27:15,830 --> 00:27:17,083 you back out in the sea? 569 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:20,473 Follow my lead and keep your head down. 570 00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:23,635 And no more talk about the Bermuda Triangle, 571 00:27:23,635 --> 00:27:27,550 time travel, vampires or second life, 572 00:27:27,550 --> 00:27:28,850 whatever the fuck that is. 573 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,923 Snacks, keep that phone of yours outta sight. 574 00:27:32,470 --> 00:27:34,963 It may be our only way out of this mess. 575 00:27:34,963 --> 00:27:37,630 (pensive music) 576 00:28:03,565 --> 00:28:08,565 (Captain McCloud snoring) (pensive music) 577 00:28:26,919 --> 00:28:31,919 (engine chugging) (pensive music) 578 00:28:48,663 --> 00:28:53,663 (bat squeaking) (pensive music) 579 00:28:53,669 --> 00:28:58,669 (engine chugging) (pensive music) 580 00:29:44,439 --> 00:29:47,189 (dramatic music) 581 00:29:52,530 --> 00:29:54,262 (vampire laughs) 582 00:29:54,262 --> 00:29:57,012 (big band music) 583 00:30:12,434 --> 00:30:17,434 (Gluhwein yells) (big band music) 584 00:30:21,728 --> 00:30:24,478 (waves crashing) 585 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,803 Long and the short of it is, 586 00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:35,163 we have a new tradition in the ol' U.S. Navy. 587 00:30:35,740 --> 00:30:37,803 Casual Fridays we call it. 588 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,208 That's why we're all dressed like this. 589 00:30:40,208 --> 00:30:42,773 Kinda like Halloween, you might say. 590 00:30:43,350 --> 00:30:45,783 I'm dressed as a tourist, 591 00:30:46,220 --> 00:30:50,023 Roosevelt over here is a car thief, 592 00:30:50,610 --> 00:30:52,603 Scarlet is of course a prostitute, 593 00:30:53,074 --> 00:30:57,010 Ribbonclerk has on an excellent cruise boat costume 594 00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:01,983 and Atticus as the young man discovered is a lumberjack. 595 00:31:02,651 --> 00:31:05,647 We must look quite the screwy bunch (chuckles). 596 00:31:07,780 --> 00:31:12,573 Atticus, kindly hand me the telephone you are concealing. 597 00:31:12,606 --> 00:31:15,273 (pensive music) 598 00:31:16,599 --> 00:31:19,410 If you are hiding the telephone somewhere 599 00:31:19,410 --> 00:31:21,350 on your person, woodsman, 600 00:31:21,350 --> 00:31:24,940 we will search and find it, I assure you. 601 00:31:25,170 --> 00:31:27,843 That's it, that's the whole phone. 602 00:31:30,070 --> 00:31:31,270 Lieutenant Valentiner? 603 00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:33,977 Yeah, Lord Commander? 604 00:31:34,163 --> 00:31:37,593 Take this spy camera to the engine room, 605 00:31:38,254 --> 00:31:40,704 and have Meine tear it apart and remove the film. 606 00:31:43,250 --> 00:31:44,083 Commander? 607 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:45,963 Yes, Captain McCloud? 608 00:31:46,164 --> 00:31:48,364 Do you have something else to share with us? 609 00:31:48,670 --> 00:31:50,660 For instance, have you been on 610 00:31:50,660 --> 00:31:53,723 a pleasure cruise in the Bermuda Triangle lately? 611 00:31:54,850 --> 00:31:57,723 You haven't traveled through time recently have you? 612 00:31:58,690 --> 00:32:00,597 What lies do you have to tell me now? 613 00:32:01,073 --> 00:32:01,906 Lies? 614 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:05,553 There's no such thing in the military as casual Fridays. 615 00:32:06,130 --> 00:32:09,383 Besides, it is Wednesday. 616 00:32:09,460 --> 00:32:12,000 I know that you must have known that we were listening 617 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,063 to your every word through the intercom. 618 00:32:16,030 --> 00:32:18,400 -Of course I knew. -And so I believe 619 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,933 I know who you really are. 620 00:32:20,050 --> 00:32:21,603 Okay, Rudy, let's hear it. 621 00:32:22,060 --> 00:32:22,893 Who are we? 622 00:32:23,190 --> 00:32:26,373 Your ship was indeed a military vessel, 623 00:32:27,170 --> 00:32:29,260 disguised perhaps as a pleasure boat. 624 00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:31,163 I have seen such things before. 625 00:32:31,970 --> 00:32:34,650 You are all expert military personnel 626 00:32:34,650 --> 00:32:37,880 who are each no doubt in position 627 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,990 of powerful hidden talents underneath 628 00:32:39,990 --> 00:32:42,193 your ridiculous facades. 629 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:45,230 Each of you must have been chosen 630 00:32:45,230 --> 00:32:48,090 for your intelligence and skill 631 00:32:48,666 --> 00:32:51,983 and your dedication to the armed services. 632 00:32:52,777 --> 00:32:54,163 -Impressive. -Hm? 633 00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:55,860 Yeah, dead nuts. 634 00:32:55,860 --> 00:32:56,996 At last, the pressure of holding 635 00:32:56,996 --> 00:32:59,910 this inside has been excruciating. 636 00:32:59,910 --> 00:33:00,743 I have a question. 637 00:33:00,743 --> 00:33:03,403 Why do you have a picture of Hitler back there? 638 00:33:03,403 --> 00:33:05,840 Admiral Donitz is now the head 639 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:06,844 of the Reich but that picture 640 00:33:06,844 --> 00:33:09,883 is there for sentimental reasons. 641 00:33:10,270 --> 00:33:12,860 You are all now prisoners on my ship 642 00:33:12,860 --> 00:33:15,163 and there will be no escape. 643 00:33:16,830 --> 00:33:17,663 And let me tell you 644 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:20,920 a little something else (speaking in foreign language), 645 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,592 -my gun is loaded. (gun cocks) 646 00:33:24,592 --> 00:33:26,113 That sounds amazing. 647 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:35,830 So what do they call you? 648 00:33:37,710 --> 00:33:38,713 Jesse Owens. 649 00:33:38,775 --> 00:33:39,608 Hm. 650 00:33:39,701 --> 00:33:41,770 You won't be able to run away 651 00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:43,863 from this predicament, Mr. Owens. 652 00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:47,943 Because he's an Olympic runner, 653 00:33:48,850 --> 00:33:50,860 and that ability won't help him on a submarine. 654 00:33:50,860 --> 00:33:52,560 Come on, I'm killing it right now. 655 00:33:54,100 --> 00:33:56,533 Where are you from, Mr. Owens? 656 00:33:56,630 --> 00:33:57,463 -Texas. -Hm. 657 00:33:57,463 --> 00:33:59,943 Are there many of you in Texas? 658 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,650 What, black people? 659 00:34:02,030 --> 00:34:04,173 No, Navy men. 660 00:34:04,790 --> 00:34:07,283 Why are you Americans so obsessed with race? 661 00:34:10,090 --> 00:34:11,143 What is your name? 662 00:34:11,420 --> 00:34:13,403 Kai Ribbonclerk, First Mate. 663 00:34:13,460 --> 00:34:14,973 Are you feeling unwell? 664 00:34:15,090 --> 00:34:16,363 I've never felt better. 665 00:34:17,500 --> 00:34:19,513 You are a long way from home. 666 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,593 A long way from Mount Fuji. 667 00:34:23,970 --> 00:34:25,763 I'm from San Francisco. 668 00:34:26,070 --> 00:34:28,080 Oh, is that what you told them? 669 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,380 You can tell me, you know? 670 00:34:30,140 --> 00:34:30,973 Tell them. 671 00:34:31,185 --> 00:34:33,303 Tell them your work for Hirohito. 672 00:34:33,720 --> 00:34:35,263 I work at Google. 673 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,270 I thought we were supposed to be friends. 674 00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:44,340 As your captain has no doubt informed you, 675 00:34:44,340 --> 00:34:48,063 we are taking this ship to the New York Harbor, 676 00:34:48,500 --> 00:34:52,673 and there we will surrender it to the American authorities. 677 00:34:53,350 --> 00:34:58,350 You as Americans will be bringing in quite a prize. 678 00:34:58,460 --> 00:35:01,300 Ever occur to you, Commander, that we may not 679 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,236 be interested in helping you? 680 00:35:03,236 --> 00:35:04,069 Hm. 681 00:35:05,157 --> 00:35:06,640 You are free to go back to where 682 00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:09,823 you came from anytime you wish. 683 00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:11,830 Shall I have the hatch opened? 684 00:35:11,830 --> 00:35:13,140 That won't be necessary. 685 00:35:13,140 --> 00:35:15,983 Aren't you going a little out of your way to surrender? 686 00:35:18,370 --> 00:35:20,540 I'll not place my men in the hands 687 00:35:20,540 --> 00:35:22,533 of the English if that's what you mean. 688 00:35:22,781 --> 00:35:25,190 Is it because you bombed their country flat 689 00:35:25,190 --> 00:35:26,540 and now they're mad at you? 690 00:35:26,570 --> 00:35:28,440 (Braunschweiger chuckles) 691 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:29,483 I like this man. 692 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:31,033 He says what he thinks. 693 00:35:32,580 --> 00:35:34,933 Oh, come on everybody, don't look so glum. 694 00:35:35,430 --> 00:35:37,653 In three days we will be in New York. 695 00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:39,380 After we surrender the ship you 696 00:35:39,380 --> 00:35:40,930 will be given a hero's welcome, 697 00:35:41,010 --> 00:35:43,040 you will be tripping the light fantastic 698 00:35:43,040 --> 00:35:44,933 on top of the Empire State Building, 699 00:35:45,300 --> 00:35:48,453 and remembering this time with a chuckle in your heart. 700 00:35:49,259 --> 00:35:51,591 I feel really, really good about this, guys. 701 00:35:51,591 --> 00:35:54,258 (pensive music) 702 00:35:57,125 --> 00:35:58,510 [Captain McCloud] The Commander marched 703 00:35:58,510 --> 00:36:01,553 my crew around the ship for what seemed like an eternity. 704 00:36:01,970 --> 00:36:03,740 He assigned each of us to a German 705 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,203 so they'd learn the operations of the ship. 706 00:36:06,220 --> 00:36:07,853 My crew had about as much knowledge 707 00:36:07,853 --> 00:36:09,488 about how a ship works as I did 708 00:36:09,488 --> 00:36:12,143 of the complete works of Rodgers and Hammerstein. 709 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,480 Actually, I'm pretty up on that stuff. 710 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:19,023 I dated a stage manager for way too long. 711 00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:21,683 So, let's make it the price of tea in china. 712 00:36:22,470 --> 00:36:23,713 But wait, fuck. 713 00:36:24,060 --> 00:36:25,190 I actually do know that. 714 00:36:25,190 --> 00:36:27,233 It's 341 Yuan. 715 00:36:27,930 --> 00:36:32,563 It's sad, really, how all this brings me back home, 716 00:36:33,130 --> 00:36:38,093 to the way things were before all this war business. 717 00:36:38,258 --> 00:36:40,347 (Captain McCloud gasping) (gentle music) 718 00:36:40,347 --> 00:36:42,473 Gavin, what are you doing? 719 00:36:42,710 --> 00:36:43,543 I'm fine. 720 00:36:44,590 --> 00:36:49,590 It's just, why aren't there any windows in this restaurant? 721 00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:54,483 Gavin, are you gonna ask me to marry you? 722 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:55,353 What? 723 00:36:55,353 --> 00:36:56,186 No! 724 00:36:56,186 --> 00:36:57,019 Maybe, why? 725 00:36:57,019 --> 00:36:58,343 A girl can just tell. 726 00:36:58,860 --> 00:36:59,693 Tell what? 727 00:37:00,410 --> 00:37:01,727 I can't believe they're allowed to build 728 00:37:01,727 --> 00:37:04,290 a restaurant without any windows. 729 00:37:04,290 --> 00:37:07,773 I mean, just take a look around you, Ellen. 730 00:37:08,237 --> 00:37:10,750 There's not one window in this whole place. 731 00:37:10,750 --> 00:37:12,467 And hello (speaking in foreign language). 732 00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:15,060 My name is Andre and I am your waiter for tonight. 733 00:37:15,060 --> 00:37:16,740 That is some storm we are having out there, no? 734 00:37:16,740 --> 00:37:18,674 [Captain McCloud] There was no storm in the forecast. 735 00:37:18,674 --> 00:37:20,462 (speaking in foreign language) I think you are mistaken. 736 00:37:20,462 --> 00:37:22,110 There's definitely a storm out tonight. 737 00:37:22,110 --> 00:37:22,943 -Listen. (thunder rumbling) 738 00:37:22,943 --> 00:37:24,970 You don't think I know when there's a storm? 739 00:37:24,970 --> 00:37:27,453 I think he just really needs some water is all. 740 00:37:27,570 --> 00:37:29,000 Oh, forgive me, I am so sorry. 741 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,750 I'll get you some water right away. 742 00:37:31,060 --> 00:37:33,327 Pour some nice water for (speaking in foreign language). 743 00:37:35,606 --> 00:37:36,529 (Andre sniffs) 744 00:37:36,529 --> 00:37:38,460 -Oh! (water splashing) 745 00:37:38,460 --> 00:37:39,293 Oh, I'm sorry! 746 00:37:39,293 --> 00:37:41,218 -I won't be long, Sir. (Gavin coughs) 747 00:37:41,218 --> 00:37:43,444 -I am so sorry, I am so-- (Gavin coughs) 748 00:37:43,444 --> 00:37:44,439 Okay, I'll help you. 749 00:37:44,439 --> 00:37:45,389 Let me wipe it off. 750 00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:47,120 I'll take it off right there, I am so sorry. 751 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,093 It'll come out. 752 00:37:48,096 --> 00:37:50,333 Let me get you two the specials. 753 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,593 Tonight we have a very special treat for you. 754 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,220 It's called the Mariner's chicken. 755 00:37:56,220 --> 00:37:57,330 It's a specialty of the chef 756 00:37:57,330 --> 00:37:59,488 and how they make this is fascinating. 757 00:37:59,488 --> 00:38:02,470 They take the chicken and they boil 758 00:38:02,470 --> 00:38:04,566 it in oil and they bury it deep 759 00:38:04,566 --> 00:38:08,703 and they stuff it into a small cast iron pan. 760 00:38:08,850 --> 00:38:10,794 It's a small pan and they take the chicken 761 00:38:10,794 --> 00:38:11,796 -and they cram -No. 762 00:38:11,796 --> 00:38:13,010 the chicken in the pan. 763 00:38:13,010 --> 00:38:16,027 They stick it in and the chicken has no hope of escape 764 00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:18,070 and the meat falls off the bone. 765 00:38:18,070 --> 00:38:20,940 They cram it, stuff it inside the cast iron pan-- 766 00:38:20,940 --> 00:38:22,346 Oh my God! 767 00:38:22,346 --> 00:38:25,517 (Gavin gasping) (jazz music) 768 00:38:25,517 --> 00:38:27,343 I've gotta get the hell outta here! 769 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,777 (jazz music) 770 00:38:32,797 --> 00:38:34,250 I studied at the academy 771 00:38:34,250 --> 00:38:36,313 for three weeks before this mission. 772 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,741 Oh wow, three weeks? 773 00:38:37,741 --> 00:38:40,303 Did your parents have to sign a permission slip? 774 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:42,193 My parents are dead. 775 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,373 Oh, air raid? 776 00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:44,643 Yeah. 777 00:38:44,670 --> 00:38:45,877 But they were trying to take over the world you know? 778 00:38:45,877 --> 00:38:47,730 [Bierficker] You're meant to be helping! 779 00:38:47,730 --> 00:38:49,730 -What's this knob do? -Don't touch that! 780 00:38:49,730 --> 00:38:50,830 That's a Tiefenmesser. 781 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:52,360 It's very important. 782 00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,633 Fuel gage? 783 00:38:53,943 --> 00:38:56,933 (laughs) No, you're so dumb. 784 00:38:57,430 --> 00:38:59,373 That's a depth gauge. 785 00:39:00,450 --> 00:39:01,283 Damn. 786 00:39:01,410 --> 00:39:03,453 Have you ever seen a radio before? 787 00:39:04,340 --> 00:39:05,173 What? 788 00:39:05,173 --> 00:39:06,028 It's not too difficult, yeah. 789 00:39:06,028 --> 00:39:08,450 You're going to put on the headphones. 790 00:39:08,450 --> 00:39:09,350 Here, try them on. 791 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,510 You will monitor the frequencies written 792 00:39:13,510 --> 00:39:15,003 down in the log book. 793 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:16,940 What am I listenin' for? 794 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,480 To see if the Brooklyn Dodgers 795 00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,130 are winning the game of baseball. 796 00:39:23,790 --> 00:39:25,340 What you know about baseball? 797 00:39:26,505 --> 00:39:30,240 Before the war you know, I was in American once. 798 00:39:30,240 --> 00:39:31,157 As a spy? 799 00:39:31,606 --> 00:39:34,578 (speaking in foreign language), I was very small. 800 00:39:34,578 --> 00:39:37,253 We do not have baby spies. 801 00:39:38,020 --> 00:39:38,853 Not anymore. 802 00:39:38,853 --> 00:39:40,280 Well, listen, I got a question. 803 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,323 Yeah, yeah. 804 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:43,530 Y'all on this ship like y'all are part 805 00:39:43,530 --> 00:39:46,290 of some kind of historical reenactment 806 00:39:46,290 --> 00:39:47,335 or some shit like that? 807 00:39:47,335 --> 00:39:48,517 No, this is sort of correct. 808 00:39:48,517 --> 00:39:50,360 We are all part of history. 809 00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,273 We are part of the new German history. 810 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,060 For a thousand years we could've ruled 811 00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:58,807 and restored cosmic order to the world fulfilling 812 00:39:58,807 --> 00:40:01,083 the legacy of Siegfried who sits alone 813 00:40:01,083 --> 00:40:03,753 in his mountain palace in Valhalla. 814 00:40:04,820 --> 00:40:08,633 Well, listen, when we get to New York, stick to baseball. 815 00:40:11,277 --> 00:40:12,713 Sticking to baseball. 816 00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:15,837 (lever clicks) 817 00:40:15,837 --> 00:40:18,837 (floorboard creaks) 818 00:40:19,410 --> 00:40:22,227 So, (speaking in foreign language) 819 00:40:22,227 --> 00:40:24,513 what do you think of our ship? 820 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,094 Oh, I've always had a thing for submarines. 821 00:40:28,094 --> 00:40:28,927 Really? 822 00:40:29,754 --> 00:40:32,850 So, the plan is surrendering to the Americans is it? 823 00:40:32,850 --> 00:40:36,173 What did you think to yourself when the Fuhrer died? 824 00:40:36,430 --> 00:40:37,263 Hitler? 825 00:40:38,058 --> 00:40:40,363 I was surprised. 826 00:40:40,540 --> 00:40:44,960 First he was alive and then he was dead and that's bad. 827 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,586 Sometimes, what's good for the goose 828 00:40:47,586 --> 00:40:49,530 is good for the gander. 829 00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:51,880 Oh, I'm always saying that. 830 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:56,823 Sometimes good things come in unexpected packages. 831 00:40:56,889 --> 00:40:58,873 Aren't you gonna have any coffee? 832 00:40:59,160 --> 00:40:59,993 No! 833 00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:02,423 The caffeine makes me jumpy. 834 00:41:02,830 --> 00:41:03,663 Please drink. 835 00:41:03,663 --> 00:41:06,122 (eerie music) 836 00:41:18,969 --> 00:41:21,969 (teacup clattering) 837 00:41:25,770 --> 00:41:26,999 (Scarlet slurping) 838 00:41:26,999 --> 00:41:28,832 Mm, is that instant? 839 00:41:29,210 --> 00:41:30,480 Listen, if you have anything 840 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,170 you'd like me to take care of back here, 841 00:41:32,170 --> 00:41:34,770 -I'd be happy to help. -What do you know how to do? 842 00:41:35,370 --> 00:41:37,594 Are you familiar with second life? 843 00:41:37,594 --> 00:41:40,663 Didn't they teach you anything in the Navy? 844 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,060 Well, you know how it is Klaus. 845 00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:47,183 Sometimes you get the feeling that in the military, 846 00:41:47,220 --> 00:41:48,710 they don't look at the whole person. 847 00:41:48,710 --> 00:41:50,693 How long have you been a sailor? 848 00:41:50,938 --> 00:41:54,373 Honestly, I'm gonna have to say all my life. 849 00:41:54,690 --> 00:41:55,770 I don't believe you. 850 00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:58,333 I don't think you know anything about anything. 851 00:41:58,479 --> 00:42:01,410 Well, in all fairness, Klaus, I didn't submit 852 00:42:01,410 --> 00:42:03,260 an application to get on this boat. 853 00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:04,687 No, you didn't. 854 00:42:05,070 --> 00:42:06,900 You were just floating in the middle 855 00:42:06,900 --> 00:42:09,663 of the ocean and we happened to pass by. 856 00:42:09,940 --> 00:42:12,077 I know, it's crazy, right? 857 00:42:12,077 --> 00:42:13,973 I'm going to be watching you. 858 00:42:14,170 --> 00:42:16,413 That's probably a good idea. 859 00:42:17,272 --> 00:42:20,008 (pensive music) (engine chugging) 860 00:42:20,008 --> 00:42:25,008 Water, water everywhere and lo the boards did shrink. 861 00:42:28,810 --> 00:42:31,833 Water, water everywhere, 862 00:42:32,333 --> 00:42:34,333 and not a drip to drink. 863 00:42:35,660 --> 00:42:36,863 So, what's your plan? 864 00:42:37,970 --> 00:42:39,004 Sail into New York with 865 00:42:39,004 --> 00:42:41,493 your tighty-whities tied to the tower? 866 00:42:41,530 --> 00:42:43,350 You Americans are only sailing 867 00:42:43,350 --> 00:42:46,463 in the North Atlantic on the shipping lines to England. 868 00:42:46,790 --> 00:42:49,823 We should slip in unnoticed I think. 869 00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:53,903 I give ya high marks for bein' optimistic. 870 00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:57,670 So, how did you end up in this racket anyway? 871 00:42:57,696 --> 00:43:00,833 Oh, the pay was okay. 872 00:43:01,410 --> 00:43:03,093 The pension was very generous. 873 00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:04,703 [Captain McCloud] Fair enough. 874 00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:06,153 Is it fair? 875 00:43:07,140 --> 00:43:08,923 Is it fair, McCloud that you will 876 00:43:08,923 --> 00:43:11,840 be remembered as a hero when this is all over 877 00:43:11,890 --> 00:43:14,593 while I and my crew must be certainly go to prison? 878 00:43:14,677 --> 00:43:16,970 I thought you Germans enjoyed losing? 879 00:43:16,970 --> 00:43:19,323 You certainly get a lotta practice. 880 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,961 Need I remind you that your life 881 00:43:20,961 --> 00:43:24,403 and the life of your crew are in my hands? 882 00:43:24,478 --> 00:43:26,090 I get it, Commander. 883 00:43:26,090 --> 00:43:28,993 And I'm playin' along nice. 884 00:43:29,876 --> 00:43:32,763 I have something to tell you that you won't believe. 885 00:43:33,012 --> 00:43:34,690 [Captain McCloud] Go ahead, Rudy, try me. 886 00:43:34,690 --> 00:43:36,513 When this is all over, 887 00:43:36,953 --> 00:43:39,083 I am going to go into show biz. 888 00:43:40,109 --> 00:43:41,483 You don't say. 889 00:43:41,680 --> 00:43:42,590 After my release I'll still 890 00:43:42,590 --> 00:43:45,053 have plenty of time to make it to Broadway. 891 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:47,375 Maybe that's the real reason 892 00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,113 I am taking the ship to New York. 893 00:43:50,560 --> 00:43:52,060 Did you ever think about that? 894 00:43:52,690 --> 00:43:55,753 No, Rudy, that hadn't occurred to me at all. 895 00:43:56,630 --> 00:43:58,343 I am a singing and dancing fool. 896 00:44:00,900 --> 00:44:03,963 You scratch my back, I scratch yours maybe. 897 00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:08,503 So let me get this straight, Bojangles. 898 00:44:09,390 --> 00:44:11,040 I put in the good word for you, 899 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:14,710 and you guarantee safe passage for me and my crew 900 00:44:14,710 --> 00:44:18,873 as your prisoners aboard the good ol' UBoat 666? 901 00:44:19,050 --> 00:44:20,150 Something like that. 902 00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,210 What about Uncle Creepy back there? 903 00:44:23,430 --> 00:44:24,263 Gluhwein? 904 00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:26,920 You let me worry about him. 905 00:44:27,220 --> 00:44:29,300 [Captain McCloud] All right, Rudy, I'll think about it. 906 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:31,713 You guys need any help with anything? 907 00:44:32,900 --> 00:44:33,873 Anything at all? 908 00:44:35,145 --> 00:44:37,323 Why don't you let me show her the wheel? 909 00:44:37,630 --> 00:44:39,563 We may need a steady hand on it. 910 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,852 Yes, good idea. 911 00:44:42,852 --> 00:44:45,519 (pensive music) 912 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:49,763 This is the wheel. 913 00:44:50,490 --> 00:44:51,323 This? 914 00:44:51,660 --> 00:44:53,153 Are you sure? 915 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:55,703 Knock it off and pay attention. 916 00:44:55,970 --> 00:44:58,963 It may save all our lives. 917 00:44:59,050 --> 00:45:00,372 So you figure anything out? 918 00:45:00,372 --> 00:45:04,573 Yes, everyone on this ship is crazy. 919 00:45:05,431 --> 00:45:06,593 That's all I know. 920 00:45:07,875 --> 00:45:08,943 See? 921 00:45:09,233 --> 00:45:11,043 It's just like riding a bicycle. 922 00:45:11,043 --> 00:45:16,043 (Captain McCloud laughs) (Scarlet laughs) 923 00:45:18,474 --> 00:45:19,391 Ring, ring. 924 00:45:19,493 --> 00:45:21,811 Ring, ring (laughs). 925 00:45:21,811 --> 00:45:24,309 -Like a bike bell. -Like, right. 926 00:45:24,309 --> 00:45:29,309 (Captain McCloud laughs) (Scarlet laughs) 927 00:45:31,880 --> 00:45:33,520 You get a look at Ribbonclerk? 928 00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:34,770 Yes, he looks terrible. 929 00:45:35,290 --> 00:45:37,140 Everyone on this ship looks terrible. 930 00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:38,153 What's going on? 931 00:45:38,153 --> 00:45:39,403 I don't know. 932 00:45:39,540 --> 00:45:42,373 It could be some kind of Teutonic super flu. 933 00:45:43,430 --> 00:45:45,127 Then again, maybe they have 934 00:45:45,127 --> 00:45:47,720 an atomic bomb stashed in the back. 935 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:49,610 -A bomb? -Just shush, shush, 936 00:45:49,610 --> 00:45:51,963 shay, shay, shape. 937 00:45:52,100 --> 00:45:56,623 Would you look at the shape of this thing? 938 00:45:56,869 --> 00:46:00,083 Man, I love this shape. 939 00:46:01,030 --> 00:46:05,899 It's just a theory but it could be radiation sickness. 940 00:46:05,899 --> 00:46:07,805 (pensive music) 941 00:46:07,805 --> 00:46:09,200 Herr Roosevelt, why don't you teach 942 00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:11,083 me some American phrases? 943 00:46:11,170 --> 00:46:12,420 I want to blend right in. 944 00:46:13,460 --> 00:46:14,410 Nuns On Ripple. 945 00:46:14,410 --> 00:46:15,457 Nuns On Ripple. 946 00:46:16,207 --> 00:46:17,510 Oh, that sounds naughty. 947 00:46:17,510 --> 00:46:18,493 What does it mean? 948 00:46:19,420 --> 00:46:20,653 That's how we say no. 949 00:46:21,227 --> 00:46:22,060 Hm. 950 00:46:22,060 --> 00:46:24,223 Ask me something that I can say no to. 951 00:46:25,390 --> 00:46:27,288 You think we gon' survive on this ship? 952 00:46:27,288 --> 00:46:28,653 Nuns On Ripple. 953 00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:30,663 Was this right? 954 00:46:31,316 --> 00:46:32,667 It was a'ight man. 955 00:46:32,667 --> 00:46:34,383 It's all right, man. 956 00:46:36,140 --> 00:46:37,033 It's all right. 957 00:46:39,882 --> 00:46:41,132 It's all right. 958 00:46:41,167 --> 00:46:43,570 [Roosevelt] Yo, Schweiger, I think I got somethin'. 959 00:46:43,570 --> 00:46:44,920 It sounds like a lawnmower. 960 00:46:45,130 --> 00:46:47,310 A lawnmower, what is that? 961 00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:49,440 What is it? 962 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:50,850 Shit, I don't know. 963 00:46:51,462 --> 00:46:52,512 I've got something. 964 00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:54,613 23 degrees north. 965 00:46:54,810 --> 00:46:56,920 Herr Roosevelt, get out of the way. 966 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,250 What we need is a good pair of German ears, yeah? 967 00:47:03,070 --> 00:47:04,870 Meine come to the intercom. 968 00:47:04,870 --> 00:47:07,780 It's essentially virtual 3D modeling using some 969 00:47:07,780 --> 00:47:10,803 of the same techniques employed in modern architecture. 970 00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:13,415 Of course, there is a proprietary currency 971 00:47:13,415 --> 00:47:15,470 which monetizes the value. 972 00:47:15,470 --> 00:47:16,783 Shut up you fool. 973 00:47:17,180 --> 00:47:18,013 Meine? 974 00:47:18,768 --> 00:47:21,601 (engine chugging) 975 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:23,296 [Meine] Yes, Commander? 976 00:47:23,296 --> 00:47:25,513 Is the port engine repaired yet? 977 00:47:26,030 --> 00:47:27,520 [Meine] It's working but I don't know 978 00:47:27,520 --> 00:47:28,820 how long it will last. 979 00:47:28,820 --> 00:47:30,410 [Braunschweiger] Come to the command deck at once. 980 00:47:30,410 --> 00:47:31,260 Yes, Commander. 981 00:47:32,155 --> 00:47:34,280 I have to go to the command deck now 982 00:47:34,390 --> 00:47:35,640 to talk to the Commander. 983 00:47:35,750 --> 00:47:36,853 Are you in trouble? 984 00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:38,370 No, I'm not in trouble. 985 00:47:38,370 --> 00:47:40,500 He probably just wants to hang out. 986 00:47:40,500 --> 00:47:41,333 Cool. 987 00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:42,683 Get over here. 988 00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:46,320 Put your hands on that throttle 989 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:49,073 and don't let it leave until I return. 990 00:47:49,271 --> 00:47:50,410 You got it? 991 00:47:50,410 --> 00:47:51,303 I think so. 992 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,720 What do you mean you think so? 993 00:47:53,720 --> 00:47:55,213 It's right in your hand. 994 00:47:55,330 --> 00:47:56,223 What do I do? 995 00:47:56,450 --> 00:47:58,143 Don't do anything. 996 00:47:58,370 --> 00:48:00,400 Just do not move. 997 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:01,233 I can do that. 998 00:48:01,326 --> 00:48:04,159 (engine chugging) 999 00:48:06,672 --> 00:48:11,672 (hatch creaking) (pensive music) 1000 00:48:12,137 --> 00:48:13,533 -[Gluhwein] Meine! (Meine gasps) 1001 00:48:13,533 --> 00:48:14,550 [Meine] Heil Donitz! 1002 00:48:14,550 --> 00:48:15,600 Heil Donitz. 1003 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:16,683 You know something? 1004 00:48:17,130 --> 00:48:18,530 I'm actually getting used to it. 1005 00:48:18,530 --> 00:48:20,560 Herr Gluhwein, I must get to the command deck. 1006 00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:21,643 In a moment. 1007 00:48:21,870 --> 00:48:23,570 Is everything in order back there? 1008 00:48:23,770 --> 00:48:24,973 -Yeah. -Good! 1009 00:48:25,450 --> 00:48:27,213 So the arrangements have been made. 1010 00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:28,453 All is in order. 1011 00:48:28,846 --> 00:48:29,679 Yeah. 1012 00:48:29,679 --> 00:48:30,550 Off you go. 1013 00:48:30,550 --> 00:48:35,550 (engine chugging) (pensive music) 1014 00:48:39,174 --> 00:48:41,558 (hatch slams) 1015 00:48:41,558 --> 00:48:45,391 Yeah, we all have a job to do, yes, young man? 1016 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:47,840 Yes. 1017 00:48:48,140 --> 00:48:49,583 Yes, we do. 1018 00:48:50,380 --> 00:48:53,013 And we don't take our jobs lightly, do we? 1019 00:48:53,530 --> 00:48:54,375 No. 1020 00:48:54,375 --> 00:48:56,293 No, we don't. 1021 00:48:58,264 --> 00:49:00,173 Work makes us free. 1022 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:03,313 Would you not say that is true? 1023 00:49:04,450 --> 00:49:05,363 Maybe. 1024 00:49:06,450 --> 00:49:10,563 You will be soon, young man. 1025 00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,432 Free at last. 1026 00:49:12,432 --> 00:49:15,099 (pensive music) 1027 00:49:15,970 --> 00:49:17,012 Yeah, he's correct. 1028 00:49:17,012 --> 00:49:19,223 It sounds like some kind of motor. 1029 00:49:20,450 --> 00:49:21,283 What are they? 1030 00:49:22,870 --> 00:49:25,953 Captain McCloud, please take a look at this. 1031 00:49:31,959 --> 00:49:32,792 (engine whirring) 1032 00:49:32,910 --> 00:49:33,743 Well? 1033 00:49:34,026 --> 00:49:34,859 What is it? 1034 00:49:35,207 --> 00:49:38,453 Some new allied super weapon? 1035 00:49:39,550 --> 00:49:43,733 It's a new thing called jet skis. 1036 00:49:44,180 --> 00:49:45,723 Jet skis? 1037 00:49:46,350 --> 00:49:49,403 It's an experimental craft, 1038 00:49:49,580 --> 00:49:51,378 used mostly on lakes and small bodies 1039 00:49:51,378 --> 00:49:53,313 of water to terrorize civilians. 1040 00:49:54,100 --> 00:49:55,283 Very effective. 1041 00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:56,612 But harmless. 1042 00:49:56,612 --> 00:49:59,279 (pensive music) 1043 00:50:00,050 --> 00:50:03,026 I've never seen anything like it in my life. 1044 00:50:03,026 --> 00:50:03,943 Herr Meine, 1045 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:06,823 stand by. 1046 00:50:07,690 --> 00:50:10,320 We may have to make a trip to the forward torpedo bay. 1047 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:11,203 Yes, Commander. 1048 00:50:11,337 --> 00:50:16,337 (engine chugging) (pensive music) 1049 00:50:22,857 --> 00:50:23,690 Yes! 1050 00:50:23,905 --> 00:50:26,053 [Gluhwein] What is all the commotion? 1051 00:50:26,140 --> 00:50:28,803 It looks like several leisure vehicles. 1052 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,269 Let me take a look. 1053 00:50:30,269 --> 00:50:32,936 (pensive music) 1054 00:50:34,126 --> 00:50:38,813 So, some kind of motorcycle for the water. 1055 00:50:39,770 --> 00:50:42,193 They may have made us on radar. 1056 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:43,200 I seriously doubt that. 1057 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,093 We'll have to sink them I'm afraid. 1058 00:50:46,170 --> 00:50:47,053 Sink them? 1059 00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:48,273 Torpedoes. 1060 00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,955 Look, as fun as it would be 1061 00:50:50,955 --> 00:50:53,453 to torpedo a couple of jet skiers, 1062 00:50:53,870 --> 00:50:55,243 you'd just be wasting ammo. 1063 00:50:55,580 --> 00:50:57,493 We can't take that chance. 1064 00:50:58,100 --> 00:51:02,943 Meine, take Valentiner and prepare a torpedo, please. 1065 00:51:03,070 --> 00:51:05,567 This is still my ship, is it not? 1066 00:51:05,869 --> 00:51:09,983 We are not going to have this conversation again are we? 1067 00:51:10,330 --> 00:51:11,765 It's very tiresome. 1068 00:51:11,765 --> 00:51:13,738 Yes, you are the commander 1069 00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:16,654 but this ship belongs to the Reich! 1070 00:51:16,654 --> 00:51:18,763 God damn it, Gluhwein. 1071 00:51:18,858 --> 00:51:20,563 Isn't the Reich the people? 1072 00:51:20,950 --> 00:51:21,783 Of course. 1073 00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:25,123 Well, isn't Rudy one of the people? 1074 00:51:25,630 --> 00:51:30,033 I say he is and so then the whole ship belongs to us. 1075 00:51:30,233 --> 00:51:33,133 Go ahead, tell him, Commander. 1076 00:51:33,849 --> 00:51:34,932 Valentiner? 1077 00:51:38,410 --> 00:51:39,760 Herr Gluhwein is correct. 1078 00:51:40,860 --> 00:51:42,510 They may have made us on radar. 1079 00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:44,386 What kind of Americans are you? 1080 00:51:44,386 --> 00:51:47,822 As much as I'd enjoy watching you die, don't be an idiot. 1081 00:51:47,822 --> 00:51:51,790 It is not my first choice to fire a gun on the ship, 1082 00:51:51,790 --> 00:51:53,350 but I assure you First Mate, Ribbonclerk 1083 00:51:53,350 --> 00:51:55,710 of the United States Navy, 1084 00:51:55,710 --> 00:51:58,760 I will, without hesitation if you 1085 00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,090 do not immediately return to your post. 1086 00:52:01,090 --> 00:52:01,923 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow up. 1087 00:52:01,923 --> 00:52:03,563 I thought we were all friends here. 1088 00:52:03,730 --> 00:52:04,563 What happened? 1089 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,230 Friends don't stop friends 1090 00:52:06,230 --> 00:52:08,440 from shooting torpedoes when they need to. 1091 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:09,740 I'm gonna miss you, Bierficker. 1092 00:52:09,740 --> 00:52:11,040 See you on the other side. 1093 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:13,513 Oh, before I forget, you lose the war. 1094 00:52:13,570 --> 00:52:16,603 Half your country gets owned by Russia for 40 years, 1095 00:52:16,620 --> 00:52:18,170 then what's left of Germany adopts 1096 00:52:18,170 --> 00:52:20,710 the same currency as Greece and Poland 1097 00:52:20,740 --> 00:52:22,840 and you and the rest of Europe 1098 00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:26,170 goes slowly bankrupt while China takes over the world. 1099 00:52:26,170 --> 00:52:28,824 Yeah and a woman becomes Chancellor of Germany. 1100 00:52:28,824 --> 00:52:31,511 (Bierficker screams) 1101 00:52:31,740 --> 00:52:32,912 Have a nice day, asshole. 1102 00:52:32,912 --> 00:52:37,912 (shots firing) (pensive music) 1103 00:52:52,267 --> 00:52:56,062 (thunder rumbling) (eerie music) 1104 00:52:56,062 --> 00:52:57,290 (Roosevelt screams) (eerie music) 1105 00:52:57,290 --> 00:53:02,290 (Gluhwein yells) (eerie music) 1106 00:53:03,942 --> 00:53:06,275 Commander, give the order. 1107 00:53:07,273 --> 00:53:09,940 (pensive music) 1108 00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:18,563 Valentiner, Meine, is the torpedo ready? 1109 00:53:20,133 --> 00:53:21,777 There's sweat in my eye. 1110 00:53:21,777 --> 00:53:23,890 Get over it, I bleed sweat. 1111 00:53:23,890 --> 00:53:24,940 You're touching my hand. 1112 00:53:24,940 --> 00:53:26,401 It's the Navy, relax. 1113 00:53:26,401 --> 00:53:27,875 You are no help at all. 1114 00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:29,542 Valentiner, Meine? 1115 00:53:30,012 --> 00:53:31,567 Valentiner, Meine? 1116 00:53:32,260 --> 00:53:34,007 Okay, I get the radio, you hold the torpedo. 1117 00:53:34,007 --> 00:53:34,840 (speaking in foreign language). 1118 00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,403 I will get the intercom and you hold the torpedo. 1119 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,313 It's (speaking in foreign language). 1120 00:53:38,313 --> 00:53:39,146 We cannot argue about this. 1121 00:53:39,146 --> 00:53:39,979 Well, look at the size of your arms. 1122 00:53:39,979 --> 00:53:40,950 You are an elephant. 1123 00:53:40,950 --> 00:53:42,180 I can't do it by myself. 1124 00:53:42,180 --> 00:53:43,013 It's too heavy. 1125 00:53:43,013 --> 00:53:44,417 Valentiner, Meine? 1126 00:53:44,417 --> 00:53:46,650 Okay, you will hold the torpedo, I get the radio. 1127 00:53:46,650 --> 00:53:47,483 -I'll-- -Quick, 1128 00:53:47,483 --> 00:53:48,316 I can't hold it myself. 1129 00:53:48,316 --> 00:53:49,190 I got it last time. 1130 00:53:49,190 --> 00:53:50,820 No, I, we cannot argue about this. 1131 00:53:50,820 --> 00:53:52,667 We do not have time, it is too heavy. 1132 00:53:52,667 --> 00:53:54,263 It was never me. 1133 00:53:54,685 --> 00:53:55,570 Valentiner! 1134 00:53:55,570 --> 00:53:57,743 (Meine speaking in foreign language) 1135 00:53:57,743 --> 00:53:59,453 Your word, Commander? 1136 00:53:59,460 --> 00:54:00,603 Is the torpedo ready? 1137 00:54:00,603 --> 00:54:05,214 Yeah, yeah, yeah, we are firing the torpedo right now. 1138 00:54:05,214 --> 00:54:06,047 Are we ready? 1139 00:54:06,047 --> 00:54:06,880 Yeah. 1140 00:54:07,910 --> 00:54:08,993 Fire torpedo. 1141 00:54:09,310 --> 00:54:10,763 Firing torpedo. 1142 00:54:11,203 --> 00:54:13,870 (alarm blaring) 1143 00:54:14,361 --> 00:54:17,194 (torpedo booming) 1144 00:54:18,323 --> 00:54:19,323 Heil Donitz. 1145 00:54:22,755 --> 00:54:25,588 (waves splashing) 1146 00:54:25,733 --> 00:54:28,713 I have never seen a device such as this before. 1147 00:54:29,090 --> 00:54:31,523 You must be a real super spy. 1148 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:32,930 I'm not a spy. 1149 00:54:32,930 --> 00:54:34,964 Then explain your ridiculous disguise. 1150 00:54:34,964 --> 00:54:35,797 My disguise? 1151 00:54:36,536 --> 00:54:39,293 You belong on a coo coo clock. 1152 00:54:39,470 --> 00:54:40,839 Hey, press the top button 1153 00:54:40,839 --> 00:54:43,650 and the one on the side at the same time and then-- 1154 00:54:43,650 --> 00:54:47,153 And I blow up I suppose? 1155 00:54:47,610 --> 00:54:49,145 Not today super spy. 1156 00:54:49,145 --> 00:54:50,526 (phone clattering) 1157 00:54:50,526 --> 00:54:51,359 (glass shattering) 1158 00:54:51,359 --> 00:54:53,733 [Atticus] Oh man, that was the new iPhone. 1159 00:54:55,570 --> 00:54:56,403 What? 1160 00:54:56,403 --> 00:54:57,550 Nothing, it's just that I had 1161 00:54:57,550 --> 00:54:59,603 to spend half a day at the Apple store, 1162 00:54:59,660 --> 00:55:01,010 then another two days getting 1163 00:55:01,010 --> 00:55:03,383 it to work with all my sign in protocols. 1164 00:55:03,690 --> 00:55:05,744 You speak in many riddles. 1165 00:55:05,744 --> 00:55:07,351 I wish I had the chance to take 1166 00:55:07,351 --> 00:55:11,063 out my pliers and extract each and every one of them. 1167 00:55:11,470 --> 00:55:13,890 Those would be figurative pliers, right? 1168 00:55:13,890 --> 00:55:14,723 Of course! 1169 00:55:14,723 --> 00:55:17,053 We are not monsters. 1170 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,300 [Atticus] Hey, any chance of my using the bathroom? 1171 00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:20,133 No! 1172 00:55:20,133 --> 00:55:20,966 You hear that, Meine? 1173 00:55:20,966 --> 00:55:22,913 No bathroom breaks. 1174 00:55:23,190 --> 00:55:25,310 Mr. Gluhwein, I think it's only fair 1175 00:55:25,310 --> 00:55:26,534 to tell you that I'll be reporting 1176 00:55:26,534 --> 00:55:29,173 you to the Mechanics Union once we get to New York. 1177 00:55:29,201 --> 00:55:31,780 I have somebody I'd like you to meet. 1178 00:55:32,313 --> 00:55:34,240 I should be helping with the engines. 1179 00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:36,490 We have a more important job for you to do. 1180 00:55:36,886 --> 00:55:39,553 (pensive music) 1181 00:56:09,937 --> 00:56:12,687 (dramatic music) 1182 00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,267 [Captain McCloud] Nice play, Commander. 1183 00:56:22,267 --> 00:56:25,793 Real backbone shooting those kids. 1184 00:56:26,040 --> 00:56:28,113 There were no children out there. 1185 00:56:28,210 --> 00:56:31,510 Each was at least as old as Lieutenant Bierficker 1186 00:56:32,050 --> 00:56:34,023 and he was a fully grown man. 1187 00:56:34,490 --> 00:56:37,993 I'm getting real tired of these little war games, Rudy. 1188 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:40,230 And I am getting tired of hearing 1189 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,660 your opinions on how I run my ship. 1190 00:56:42,660 --> 00:56:43,493 Commander! 1191 00:56:43,820 --> 00:56:45,720 The woodsman has just been killed. 1192 00:56:45,720 --> 00:56:46,553 Atticus? 1193 00:56:46,580 --> 00:56:47,413 What happened to him? 1194 00:56:47,413 --> 00:56:49,483 He was trying to kill Meine and myself 1195 00:56:49,483 --> 00:56:51,633 using a super spy phone. 1196 00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:54,330 A struggle ensued and he was killed. 1197 00:56:54,330 --> 00:56:56,563 In light of present circumstances, 1198 00:56:56,850 --> 00:56:57,968 I insist you let us say 1199 00:56:57,968 --> 00:57:01,648 a few words over our dead solider, alone! 1200 00:57:01,648 --> 00:57:04,813 I'm afraid that will be out of the question. 1201 00:57:05,380 --> 00:57:08,193 All right, Rudy, have it your way. 1202 00:57:08,830 --> 00:57:11,620 Sure, do whatever you want with us. 1203 00:57:11,620 --> 00:57:14,270 Shoot us, stab us, throw us back 1204 00:57:14,270 --> 00:57:16,513 in the briny blue for all I care. 1205 00:57:16,860 --> 00:57:18,843 None of us signed up for this. 1206 00:57:18,930 --> 00:57:20,983 You killed one of us already. 1207 00:57:22,300 --> 00:57:23,633 -Two. -Huh? 1208 00:57:24,111 --> 00:57:25,973 Right, Atticus, I forgot. 1209 00:57:26,060 --> 00:57:27,943 You killed two of us already. 1210 00:57:28,410 --> 00:57:29,637 If you want our help surrendering 1211 00:57:29,637 --> 00:57:31,963 this shit can to the Big Apple, 1212 00:57:32,002 --> 00:57:34,973 you'll give us five minutes to say a prayer. 1213 00:57:35,257 --> 00:57:36,493 Take it or leave it. 1214 00:57:41,558 --> 00:57:43,225 All right everybody! 1215 00:57:43,740 --> 00:57:46,940 Let's say a little prayer for Ribbonclerk and Atticus. 1216 00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:49,180 Braunschweiger's just doing what 1217 00:57:49,180 --> 00:57:52,033 he has to do to protect his men and his ship. 1218 00:57:52,580 --> 00:57:55,963 Remember, we were all in this together. 1219 00:57:56,060 --> 00:57:57,783 Just stayin' alive. 1220 00:57:58,329 --> 00:58:00,593 God bless America. 1221 00:58:06,263 --> 00:58:09,040 All right, look, I'm pretty sure 1222 00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,973 I was wrong about these guys havin' an atomic bomb. 1223 00:58:11,990 --> 00:58:13,950 You thought there was a A bomb on here? 1224 00:58:13,950 --> 00:58:14,783 Where? 1225 00:58:15,300 --> 00:58:17,900 I thought maybe somewhere in the rear of the ship. 1226 00:58:18,310 --> 00:58:19,510 I didn't wanna scare anybody. 1227 00:58:19,510 --> 00:58:20,633 I wanted to make sure. 1228 00:58:21,700 --> 00:58:23,687 Everybody on here looked sick, 1229 00:58:23,687 --> 00:58:25,823 and they have a skeleton screw. 1230 00:58:26,023 --> 00:58:28,973 I never bought Rudy's story. 1231 00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:32,500 Maybe they has an atomic bomb and a vampire. 1232 00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:35,300 Radiation sickness doesn't make you immune to bullets. 1233 00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:38,163 I think they picked us up for dinner. 1234 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,099 They had already gone through most of their crew. 1235 00:58:41,099 --> 00:58:44,163 When they saw us floating out there in the water, 1236 00:58:44,305 --> 00:58:46,263 they couldn't pass it up. 1237 00:58:46,263 --> 00:58:49,827 (hatch unlatching) (pensive music) 1238 00:58:49,827 --> 00:58:51,217 What do we have here, hm? 1239 00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:58,990 Hm? 1240 00:58:58,990 --> 00:59:00,073 What is this? 1241 00:59:00,822 --> 00:59:01,655 Naughty. 1242 00:59:03,388 --> 00:59:05,693 So, this is your little prayer circle is it, hm? 1243 00:59:09,025 --> 00:59:09,858 Yeah? 1244 00:59:10,139 --> 00:59:12,248 Well, I hope your prayers are answered 1245 00:59:12,330 --> 00:59:13,542 my little American friends. 1246 00:59:13,542 --> 00:59:15,633 Yeah, best of luck. 1247 00:59:16,030 --> 00:59:17,070 What you better be praying is 1248 00:59:17,070 --> 00:59:19,284 that Commander Braunschweiger and Herr Gluhwein 1249 00:59:19,284 --> 00:59:22,129 show mercy on your or you will be going 1250 00:59:22,129 --> 00:59:26,623 the way of your dead comrades and die. 1251 00:59:26,706 --> 00:59:29,373 (pensive music) 1252 00:59:29,700 --> 00:59:30,533 Yeah, yeah. 1253 00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:33,860 It was a little overboard, little improv I cooked up. 1254 00:59:33,860 --> 00:59:34,693 I'm sorry. 1255 00:59:34,693 --> 00:59:36,400 Please, I want to help you. 1256 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,650 Man, you must think we as dumb as you look. 1257 00:59:39,150 --> 00:59:40,880 I knew there was a vampire, yeah? 1258 00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:44,560 But I could not say anything or Gluhwein would kill me. 1259 00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,690 We're not gonna say anything, Valentiner, so fuck off. 1260 00:59:47,690 --> 00:59:50,463 On the reals, there is a vampire? 1261 00:59:50,630 --> 00:59:53,003 I have not seen it but there must be. 1262 00:59:53,058 --> 00:59:55,137 When we left France a month ago, 1263 00:59:55,220 --> 00:59:58,673 yeah, 15 of our men all died the same way. 1264 00:59:58,684 --> 00:59:59,517 Ee! 1265 00:59:59,870 --> 01:00:01,913 Gluhwein is protecting it. 1266 01:00:01,980 --> 01:00:03,350 This is the only answer. 1267 01:00:03,350 --> 01:00:06,470 And he is the only one with the key 1268 01:00:06,470 --> 01:00:07,943 to the real torpedo bay. 1269 01:00:08,710 --> 01:00:09,780 -Man, I think he's lyin'. -Yeah. 1270 01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:11,877 No, I am, I am not lying. 1271 01:00:12,907 --> 01:00:14,213 I want to help. 1272 01:00:14,980 --> 01:00:16,593 I love Americans, yeah. 1273 01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:22,063 Baseball, yeah, Cracker Jacks, frankfurter. 1274 01:00:24,820 --> 01:00:26,120 How can I prove it to you? 1275 01:00:26,920 --> 01:00:29,133 Why don't you start by killing yourself? 1276 01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:32,150 I have an idea, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1277 01:00:33,274 --> 01:00:34,974 When we pull into New York Harbor, 1278 01:00:35,170 --> 01:00:37,263 you give me something dangerous to do, 1279 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:42,283 something exciting, something like in a Hollywood movie. 1280 01:00:42,450 --> 01:00:43,283 What makes you think 1281 01:00:43,283 --> 01:00:45,633 we can trust you, Lieutenant Valentiner? 1282 01:00:47,446 --> 01:00:49,333 Well, you have to trust somebody. 1283 01:00:49,380 --> 01:00:51,323 Shit, I don't trust anybody. 1284 01:00:51,670 --> 01:00:53,253 Nazis, vampires. 1285 01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:55,150 Where's it end with you people? 1286 01:00:55,150 --> 01:00:57,050 We're pulling into New York tonight. 1287 01:00:57,052 --> 01:01:00,020 We've got to play along until the right moment 1288 01:01:00,730 --> 01:01:02,343 and then take over the ship. 1289 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,620 Everybody listen up, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this. 1290 01:01:06,659 --> 01:01:10,043 It's going to be of moderate to strong difficulty. 1291 01:01:10,452 --> 01:01:13,119 (pensive music) 1292 01:01:25,208 --> 01:01:27,541 All right, Rudy, this is it. 1293 01:01:28,253 --> 01:01:30,140 We move any closer to the coast 1294 01:01:30,140 --> 01:01:32,143 and they'll pick us up for sure. 1295 01:01:32,220 --> 01:01:33,680 The Allies are much further north 1296 01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:36,713 on the shipping lines, they won't even be looking for us. 1297 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,420 Captain, you gonna tell him? 1298 01:01:38,420 --> 01:01:42,010 Rudy, there's no chance we'll make it in. 1299 01:01:42,010 --> 01:01:43,608 You don't understand. 1300 01:01:43,608 --> 01:01:46,733 The United States has changed. 1301 01:01:47,500 --> 01:01:50,463 You mean more jet skis? 1302 01:01:51,010 --> 01:01:52,940 Definitely a lot of those, 1303 01:01:52,940 --> 01:01:54,833 but I think you should know, 1304 01:01:55,030 --> 01:01:57,733 the date is later than you think it is. 1305 01:01:57,930 --> 01:01:59,957 Commander, I personally guarantee 1306 01:01:59,957 --> 01:02:02,313 our safe passage into the New York Harbor. 1307 01:02:03,678 --> 01:02:05,213 Meine, cut the engines! 1308 01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,633 [Braunschweiger] What are you doing Gluhwein? 1309 01:02:08,810 --> 01:02:11,297 We will enter unseen and unexpected... 1310 01:02:11,297 --> 01:02:16,297 (ship clanging) (pensive music) 1311 01:02:24,196 --> 01:02:26,023 We're moving faster now. 1312 01:02:26,713 --> 01:02:28,573 But how with no engines? 1313 01:02:28,850 --> 01:02:31,433 I told you there was nothing to worry about. 1314 01:02:32,150 --> 01:02:33,943 This cannot be correct. 1315 01:02:34,690 --> 01:02:37,595 It says we are sailing at over 100 knots. 1316 01:02:37,595 --> 01:02:39,345 That is impossible. 1317 01:02:40,587 --> 01:02:42,200 [Valentiner] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1318 01:02:42,200 --> 01:02:45,283 40 degrees north, 74 degrees west. 1319 01:02:45,410 --> 01:02:47,103 [Captain McCloud] The Statue of Liberty! 1320 01:02:49,056 --> 01:02:51,333 Valentiner, up bubble three degrees. 1321 01:02:51,810 --> 01:02:53,660 Commander, I use the toilet please? 1322 01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:55,582 Stay at your post, Valentiner. 1323 01:02:55,582 --> 01:02:57,159 I am touching cloth. 1324 01:02:57,159 --> 01:02:58,770 (Valentiner speaking in foreign language) please? 1325 01:02:58,770 --> 01:03:02,263 Look, I'll take the controls while he hits the can. 1326 01:03:02,370 --> 01:03:04,220 Better that than stink up the whole deck. 1327 01:03:04,220 --> 01:03:06,570 'Schweiger, I got somethin' on the radio, man. 1328 01:03:07,190 --> 01:03:08,540 -Switch to the overhead. -Coast Guard here. 1329 01:03:08,540 --> 01:03:11,095 (radio static crackling) 1330 01:03:11,340 --> 01:03:12,810 Unknown vessel, identify yourself. 1331 01:03:12,810 --> 01:03:14,590 Repeat, identify yourself immediately. 1332 01:03:14,590 --> 01:03:15,423 Over. 1333 01:03:16,305 --> 01:03:17,138 Who is this? 1334 01:03:17,138 --> 01:03:18,920 [Coast Guard] This is the U.S. Coast Guard. 1335 01:03:18,920 --> 01:03:19,836 Who are you and what the fuck are you doin' 1336 01:03:19,836 --> 01:03:22,010 in my harbor with that old piece of shit? 1337 01:03:24,810 --> 01:03:26,141 You have seen the ship? 1338 01:03:26,141 --> 01:03:28,693 [Coast Guard] Yeah, numb nuts, we see your ship. 1339 01:03:28,970 --> 01:03:30,567 You're not cleared for historical craft passage 1340 01:03:30,567 --> 01:03:33,367 through this harbor, especially not one as ugly as that. 1341 01:03:33,704 --> 01:03:35,434 Where the fuck did you dig that thing out? 1342 01:03:35,434 --> 01:03:37,707 Thought the only Uboat was in the Chicago Museum. 1343 01:03:37,707 --> 01:03:39,124 Chicago Museum? 1344 01:03:40,318 --> 01:03:41,735 Historical craft? 1345 01:03:43,043 --> 01:03:45,833 (toilet seat thuds) (pensive music) 1346 01:03:45,833 --> 01:03:47,773 (gun cocks) 1347 01:03:47,773 --> 01:03:49,513 It's for your own good, Rudy. 1348 01:03:50,580 --> 01:03:53,080 Why don't you take a stand over there by the wall. 1349 01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:57,853 Stay there nice and easy and we may make it out of this. 1350 01:03:58,020 --> 01:04:01,623 Scarlet, point this at his balls. 1351 01:04:02,020 --> 01:04:05,451 If he makes a move, shoot to kill his balls. 1352 01:04:05,451 --> 01:04:06,375 (gun cocks) 1353 01:04:06,375 --> 01:04:07,933 My pleasure, Captain. 1354 01:04:08,291 --> 01:04:11,633 Valentiner, this is going in your report. 1355 01:04:12,700 --> 01:04:13,843 Here it is. 1356 01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:15,983 Why don't you tell us what 1357 01:04:15,983 --> 01:04:18,000 we're gonna find back there, Commander. 1358 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,373 It was installed before we left Germany. 1359 01:04:20,780 --> 01:04:21,613 I don't know. 1360 01:04:22,108 --> 01:04:25,463 Don't move or I start blasting. 1361 01:04:26,430 --> 01:04:27,913 Hello, U.S.A? 1362 01:04:28,033 --> 01:04:29,200 [Coast Guard] Unknown craft, 1363 01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:30,777 you have 10 seconds to identify yourself 1364 01:04:30,777 --> 01:04:33,143 or we're gonna be on you like flies on shit. 1365 01:04:33,300 --> 01:04:35,463 This is Captain Gavin McCloud. 1366 01:04:35,950 --> 01:04:37,633 I'm a cruise boatman. 1367 01:04:38,140 --> 01:04:40,333 Never wanted any of this war business. 1368 01:04:40,540 --> 01:04:41,720 Do not approach this ship, 1369 01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:44,026 repeat, do not approach this ship. 1370 01:04:44,026 --> 01:04:46,153 Dangerous cargo onboard. 1371 01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,890 [Coast Guard] What do you mean dangerous, Captain? 1372 01:04:48,890 --> 01:04:51,440 We're gonna exit topside and wait for assistance, 1373 01:04:51,530 --> 01:04:53,453 but do not board this boat. 1374 01:04:54,460 --> 01:04:55,293 Sink it! 1375 01:04:55,293 --> 01:05:00,124 (pensive music) (alarm blaring) 1376 01:05:34,315 --> 01:05:37,232 (Roosevelt groans) 1377 01:05:37,379 --> 01:05:40,394 That a boy (groans). 1378 01:05:40,394 --> 01:05:41,894 That's a good boy. 1379 01:05:42,310 --> 01:05:43,143 Captain? 1380 01:05:43,143 --> 01:05:44,700 -I think so. -I'm alive if 1381 01:05:44,700 --> 01:05:45,833 it matters to anyone. 1382 01:05:45,860 --> 01:05:46,760 Glad to hear it. 1383 01:05:47,530 --> 01:05:48,393 Where are we? 1384 01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:51,430 I've heard that question one too many times lately. 1385 01:05:51,430 --> 01:05:53,549 It felt like we hit the bottom of the ocean. 1386 01:05:53,549 --> 01:05:55,373 You still got that piece? 1387 01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:56,273 The gun? 1388 01:05:56,273 --> 01:05:57,164 -Right. -No. 1389 01:05:57,164 --> 01:05:57,997 (shot firing) 1390 01:05:57,997 --> 01:05:59,493 What was that? 1391 01:06:00,223 --> 01:06:02,523 That would be Braunschweiger shooting Meine, 1392 01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:04,510 if there's a God. 1393 01:06:04,510 --> 01:06:06,183 Meine took us down here? 1394 01:06:06,691 --> 01:06:07,524 Why? 1395 01:06:07,750 --> 01:06:09,133 He knew we were onto him, 1396 01:06:09,700 --> 01:06:12,193 and the precious cargo in the back. 1397 01:06:12,910 --> 01:06:14,310 With Gluhwein out of the picture 1398 01:06:14,310 --> 01:06:16,140 he had no choice I guess. 1399 01:06:16,140 --> 01:06:19,373 He figures it can survive this with his help. 1400 01:06:20,195 --> 01:06:21,413 But we can't. 1401 01:06:21,564 --> 01:06:23,093 Why the fuck not? 1402 01:06:23,660 --> 01:06:26,640 With the engines off there can't be more 1403 01:06:26,640 --> 01:06:30,713 than maybe half an hour's worth of oxygen coming our way, 1404 01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:33,513 but that thing in the back doesn't need to breathe. 1405 01:06:34,426 --> 01:06:37,176 (hatch creaking) 1406 01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:42,983 (sighs) Captain McCloud. 1407 01:06:44,390 --> 01:06:47,523 I thought the German Navy was famous for it's discipline. 1408 01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:49,383 Meine dove the ship. 1409 01:06:49,697 --> 01:06:52,520 He was headed to the rear torpedo bay 1410 01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:56,453 when I shot him with his hand on the hatch wheel. 1411 01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:58,123 Are you sure he's dead? 1412 01:06:58,260 --> 01:06:59,170 What do you mean? 1413 01:06:59,170 --> 01:07:01,330 Yeah, that's a fair question on this ship. 1414 01:07:01,330 --> 01:07:02,443 Yes, he is dead. 1415 01:07:02,528 --> 01:07:04,771 But to be sure I put his head 1416 01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:08,920 in the piston rank and I manually ground it-- 1417 01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:09,753 Thank you, Commander. 1418 01:07:09,753 --> 01:07:11,032 We can fill it in from here. 1419 01:07:11,032 --> 01:07:12,115 Valentiner! 1420 01:07:12,612 --> 01:07:15,516 (Valentiner groaning) 1421 01:07:15,516 --> 01:07:20,516 Herr Roosevelt, I have something for you (groans). 1422 01:07:22,470 --> 01:07:23,303 Take this. 1423 01:07:23,661 --> 01:07:25,830 Do not tell the others. 1424 01:07:26,453 --> 01:07:27,843 Am I going to die? 1425 01:07:28,700 --> 01:07:31,200 [Roosevelt] Nuns On Ripple, man, Nuns On Ripple. 1426 01:07:32,477 --> 01:07:36,079 Do not leave me hanging (groans). 1427 01:07:36,079 --> 01:07:38,919 [Roosevelt] You'll be all right, man. 1428 01:07:38,919 --> 01:07:40,336 All right, man. 1429 01:07:44,860 --> 01:07:47,530 Gluhwein's body, where did it go? 1430 01:07:47,530 --> 01:07:49,930 That knock to the head must've been temporary. 1431 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:51,963 My guess is he's in the rear 1432 01:07:51,963 --> 01:07:54,653 of the ship with his secret cargo. 1433 01:07:58,660 --> 01:08:00,823 Everybody to the forward torpedo bay. 1434 01:08:01,101 --> 01:08:02,503 We ain't, 1435 01:08:07,756 --> 01:08:09,433 we ain't finished yet! 1436 01:08:09,433 --> 01:08:12,100 (ship creaking) 1437 01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:17,731 The good news is, I have half a pack 1438 01:08:17,731 --> 01:08:20,453 of sweet, sweet Thai sticks left. 1439 01:08:20,530 --> 01:08:24,133 The bad news is we've got to find and kill that thing. 1440 01:08:24,650 --> 01:08:25,650 You mean Gluhwein? 1441 01:08:25,855 --> 01:08:30,855 Yeah, him too, but especially whatever that thing is. 1442 01:08:31,400 --> 01:08:33,420 The Fuhrer's little surprise. 1443 01:08:33,420 --> 01:08:34,900 That thing must die before 1444 01:08:34,900 --> 01:08:37,184 it can escape the ship and make it to New York, 1445 01:08:37,184 --> 01:08:39,470 because if it can make it there... 1446 01:08:39,610 --> 01:08:41,327 I just want to say this 1447 01:08:41,466 --> 01:08:44,330 is not typical of a German war craft. 1448 01:08:44,330 --> 01:08:47,513 I wouldn't want you to think it was like this on every ship. 1449 01:08:48,220 --> 01:08:49,993 I take full responsibility. 1450 01:08:50,260 --> 01:08:54,395 Well, can't forget this. 1451 01:08:54,395 --> 01:08:56,743 Nice thinkin', Roosevelt. 1452 01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:57,733 Open it up. 1453 01:08:59,930 --> 01:09:00,920 We got a stake. 1454 01:09:02,950 --> 01:09:03,873 A cross. 1455 01:09:05,140 --> 01:09:06,290 There's a note in here. 1456 01:09:09,800 --> 01:09:10,907 It's in German. 1457 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:13,470 Probably an instruction manual detailing 1458 01:09:13,470 --> 01:09:16,033 everything we need to know to defeat this menace. 1459 01:09:16,130 --> 01:09:17,323 But what's it say? 1460 01:09:17,480 --> 01:09:19,260 Shit, I don't know. 1461 01:09:23,967 --> 01:09:25,377 "Best of luck." 1462 01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:29,493 The Coast Guard may be sending divers to rescue us. 1463 01:09:29,770 --> 01:09:31,470 As long as that thing is onboard 1464 01:09:31,470 --> 01:09:32,803 we can't let that happen. 1465 01:09:32,904 --> 01:09:34,870 It would look good to the Americans 1466 01:09:34,870 --> 01:09:37,520 I think if they knew that I helped you 1467 01:09:37,890 --> 01:09:39,933 find the vampire and kill it. 1468 01:09:40,510 --> 01:09:42,737 We'll all be right behind you. 1469 01:09:43,010 --> 01:09:44,339 You can bet on that, Rudy, 1470 01:09:44,339 --> 01:09:46,763 because that's what Americans do, 1471 01:09:46,768 --> 01:09:49,275 stay right behind you grunting 1472 01:09:49,275 --> 01:09:52,593 and groaning and giving and sweating, 1473 01:09:52,850 --> 01:09:56,423 as hard as we can for as long as we know how. 1474 01:09:57,349 --> 01:10:00,099 (big band music) 1475 01:11:25,820 --> 01:11:28,223 Gluhwein must be hiding somewhere else. 1476 01:11:28,770 --> 01:11:29,870 I'll take care of him. 1477 01:11:30,710 --> 01:11:32,623 You will have to kill the vampire. 1478 01:11:33,070 --> 01:11:36,020 Thanks, Commander but I was kinda hopin' 1479 01:11:36,020 --> 01:11:37,773 you'd come along, ya know? 1480 01:11:37,997 --> 01:11:40,253 For emotional support. 1481 01:11:40,370 --> 01:11:42,770 I will see you all in the forward torpedo bay. 1482 01:11:43,783 --> 01:11:45,473 Best of luck, Captain. 1483 01:11:47,265 --> 01:11:52,265 (hatch creaking) (pensive music) 1484 01:12:24,606 --> 01:12:29,606 (engine chugging) (pensive music) 1485 01:12:51,445 --> 01:12:53,800 (shot firing) 1486 01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:57,674 Sayonara, Gluhwein. 1487 01:12:57,710 --> 01:12:59,627 Nice shootin', Rudy (screams). 1488 01:13:01,080 --> 01:13:03,173 (Scarlet screams) (Roosevelt screams) 1489 01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:04,270 I don't mean to be the one 1490 01:13:04,270 --> 01:13:06,480 to yell fire in a crowded torpedo bay-- 1491 01:13:06,480 --> 01:13:08,123 But we're all gonna die. 1492 01:13:08,530 --> 01:13:11,203 Okay, Roosevelt, come through for me buddy. 1493 01:13:11,310 --> 01:13:12,380 What's the plan here? 1494 01:13:12,850 --> 01:13:14,224 [Roosevelt] I just peed a little bit. 1495 01:13:14,224 --> 01:13:17,057 (vampire hissing) 1496 01:13:19,340 --> 01:13:20,923 Just might. 1497 01:13:22,718 --> 01:13:24,841 [Scarlet] Is that holy water? 1498 01:13:24,841 --> 01:13:26,053 CBD oil. 1499 01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,173 I use it for my knees. 1500 01:13:28,173 --> 01:13:31,363 It might subdue the vampire. 1501 01:13:32,379 --> 01:13:33,764 -It's working. -Yeah! 1502 01:13:33,764 --> 01:13:35,246 -Go, Captain McCloud. -Yeah! 1503 01:13:35,246 --> 01:13:39,684 (Captain McCloud laughs) (vampire groaning) 1504 01:13:39,684 --> 01:13:40,517 Yeah! 1505 01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:41,593 Ha! 1506 01:13:41,845 --> 01:13:46,845 (Captain McCloud screams) (pensive music) 1507 01:13:52,332 --> 01:13:54,273 Quick, before it wears off, 1508 01:13:54,670 --> 01:13:56,120 throw that thing in the tube. 1509 01:13:58,519 --> 01:14:01,269 (wings flapping) 1510 01:14:03,364 --> 01:14:08,364 (pensive music) (hatch slams) 1511 01:14:11,580 --> 01:14:15,080 Well, gang, onto the fun part. 1512 01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:19,283 All right lady and gentlemen and Rudy. 1513 01:14:20,180 --> 01:14:21,013 This is it. 1514 01:14:21,650 --> 01:14:25,913 The End of the Line, the O.K. Corral, 1515 01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:30,003 Custer's Last Stand, Waterloo. 1516 01:14:30,003 --> 01:14:32,037 We have 10 minutes of oxygen left. 1517 01:14:32,037 --> 01:14:33,633 Right, okay. 1518 01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,933 Thanks, Commander. 1519 01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:38,180 So, let's not waste it standing around jawing all day 1520 01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:43,660 or night or whatever the hell it is out there or in here. 1521 01:14:43,660 --> 01:14:44,763 Nine minutes. 1522 01:14:44,970 --> 01:14:48,060 Gluhwein served one useful purpose on this Earth at least. 1523 01:14:48,060 --> 01:14:50,273 He showed us a way outta here. 1524 01:14:50,420 --> 01:14:51,973 Through the torpedo tubes. 1525 01:14:52,000 --> 01:14:53,633 -That's right. -Oh no. 1526 01:14:53,830 --> 01:14:55,991 You not shootin' me outta no torpedo tube. 1527 01:14:55,991 --> 01:14:59,210 There is a theoretical basis for survival at least. 1528 01:14:59,210 --> 01:15:00,760 It's the last play we have left. 1529 01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:04,493 So, who goes first? 1530 01:15:04,770 --> 01:15:05,939 We draw for it. 1531 01:15:05,939 --> 01:15:08,395 Whoever pulls the short one stays behind 1532 01:15:08,395 --> 01:15:10,383 to launch the rest of us off. 1533 01:15:10,530 --> 01:15:12,160 Wait, everybody calm down. 1534 01:15:12,160 --> 01:15:14,030 I mean, we gotta vote on this first, right? 1535 01:15:14,030 --> 01:15:15,169 What's there to vote for? 1536 01:15:15,169 --> 01:15:17,480 You either take your chances out there 1537 01:15:17,820 --> 01:15:21,050 or slowly run out of air and die for sure down here. 1538 01:15:21,050 --> 01:15:22,330 'Schweiger, why don't we go down here 1539 01:15:22,330 --> 01:15:23,163 and check under the hood and see 1540 01:15:23,163 --> 01:15:24,777 if we can get this thing goin' again? 1541 01:15:24,777 --> 01:15:29,294 It is possible but it may take longer than five minutes 1542 01:15:29,294 --> 01:15:31,680 which is when the air cuts out. 1543 01:15:31,680 --> 01:15:33,513 You may not have to go, Roosevelt. 1544 01:15:34,800 --> 01:15:37,363 Someone's gotta pull the short one after all. 1545 01:15:37,534 --> 01:15:40,534 (suspenseful music) 1546 01:15:48,048 --> 01:15:50,910 (Roosevelt exhales) 1547 01:15:50,910 --> 01:15:52,390 All right, (speaking in foreign language). 1548 01:15:52,390 --> 01:15:53,233 You made it. 1549 01:15:53,870 --> 01:15:54,863 In the tube you go. 1550 01:15:55,006 --> 01:15:57,673 (pensive music) 1551 01:16:00,462 --> 01:16:01,295 Captain? 1552 01:16:01,295 --> 01:16:03,170 [Captain McCloud] What is it, Roosevelt? 1553 01:16:03,170 --> 01:16:04,838 It was me that took your strawberries. 1554 01:16:04,838 --> 01:16:05,671 I know. 1555 01:16:05,671 --> 01:16:08,338 (pensive music) 1556 01:16:23,776 --> 01:16:26,693 (machine whirring) 1557 01:16:28,200 --> 01:16:29,063 Okay. 1558 01:16:30,290 --> 01:16:31,123 Who's next? 1559 01:16:33,120 --> 01:16:34,102 Ladies first. 1560 01:16:34,102 --> 01:16:39,102 (pensive music) (water splashing) 1561 01:16:45,860 --> 01:16:47,323 See you up top, Captain? 1562 01:16:47,760 --> 01:16:49,273 It's not for me to say. 1563 01:16:49,650 --> 01:16:51,143 Who does get to say? 1564 01:16:51,740 --> 01:16:54,083 The big skipper in the sky, 1565 01:16:54,392 --> 01:16:57,773 puffing away at his trusty corncob pipe, 1566 01:16:58,090 --> 01:17:00,893 filling the air with cotton candy clouds. 1567 01:17:01,674 --> 01:17:03,693 That's quite an image. 1568 01:17:03,735 --> 01:17:04,735 Thank you. 1569 01:17:04,983 --> 01:17:06,730 I was being sarcastic. 1570 01:17:06,730 --> 01:17:07,563 I know. 1571 01:17:07,563 --> 01:17:09,687 -No, you didn't. -Well-- 1572 01:17:10,030 --> 01:17:11,880 Try to make it outta here, Captain. 1573 01:17:11,941 --> 01:17:14,272 We'll share a cup of terrible, 1574 01:17:14,272 --> 01:17:16,895 government issued coffee wrapped 1575 01:17:16,895 --> 01:17:19,853 in those scratchy pea green blankets 1576 01:17:19,853 --> 01:17:24,306 while they keep us up for two or even three days 1577 01:17:24,306 --> 01:17:28,461 at a time interrogating us about this crazy, 1578 01:17:28,461 --> 01:17:31,610 totally believable adventure. 1579 01:17:31,610 --> 01:17:33,360 You paint a hell of a picture. 1580 01:17:33,360 --> 01:17:35,733 They'll think we're terrorists, criminals. 1581 01:17:35,970 --> 01:17:37,020 Sounds wonderful. 1582 01:17:37,020 --> 01:17:37,853 I know. 1583 01:17:38,607 --> 01:17:40,993 Goodbye, Captain McCloud. 1584 01:17:44,562 --> 01:17:46,600 All right, kiddo, in you go. 1585 01:17:46,808 --> 01:17:51,808 (pensive music) (water splashing) 1586 01:17:52,708 --> 01:17:55,291 (hatch clangs) 1587 01:18:01,769 --> 01:18:04,686 (machine whirring) 1588 01:18:05,630 --> 01:18:09,853 Okay, ol' buddy, ol' chum, ol' pal of mine. 1589 01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:14,768 -Looks like it's 50, (gun cocks) 1590 01:18:14,768 --> 01:18:15,601 50. 1591 01:18:16,230 --> 01:18:17,853 Open your hand, Captain. 1592 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,203 You were going to double cross me. 1593 01:18:20,350 --> 01:18:21,817 How is this a double cross? 1594 01:18:21,817 --> 01:18:23,380 The next pick was you getting 1595 01:18:23,380 --> 01:18:25,293 in that tube and me launching you out. 1596 01:18:25,340 --> 01:18:26,760 Because you would be martyred 1597 01:18:26,760 --> 01:18:28,499 as a war hero who not only saved 1598 01:18:28,499 --> 01:18:30,282 the life of his own men but also 1599 01:18:30,282 --> 01:18:33,035 the life of an enemy who was only trying to kill him. 1600 01:18:33,035 --> 01:18:36,020 Your name would be remembered for 1,000 years 1601 01:18:36,020 --> 01:18:37,360 while mine would be a footnote 1602 01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:40,723 in type so small you would have to be under 30 to read it. 1603 01:18:40,740 --> 01:18:41,573 So, 1604 01:18:45,448 --> 01:18:46,950 you don't wanna go then? 1605 01:18:47,950 --> 01:18:49,353 No, of course not. 1606 01:18:49,503 --> 01:18:51,179 I am going down with my ship. 1607 01:18:51,179 --> 01:18:52,773 It is my destiny. 1608 01:18:53,250 --> 01:18:54,826 I will be remembered as a hero 1609 01:18:54,826 --> 01:18:57,823 if you are alive to tell the story. 1610 01:18:58,020 --> 01:18:59,520 You're somethin' else, Rudy. 1611 01:18:59,671 --> 01:19:00,783 I'll give ya that. 1612 01:19:00,889 --> 01:19:03,722 (water splashing) 1613 01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:16,793 So, this will work then? 1614 01:19:18,450 --> 01:19:23,450 Oh, sure, old buddy, old chum, old pal of mine. 1615 01:19:23,967 --> 01:19:26,603 We used to do this every now and then for fun. 1616 01:19:26,603 --> 01:19:29,023 We are not that far down and the water 1617 01:19:29,023 --> 01:19:32,591 is cold but that's about it. 1618 01:19:32,591 --> 01:19:35,550 But after all those jazz cigarettes 1619 01:19:35,550 --> 01:19:37,900 do you think you can hold your breath, Captain? 1620 01:19:40,900 --> 01:19:44,043 I can hold my breath just fine, Braunschweiger. 1621 01:19:44,720 --> 01:19:46,244 Don't worry about me. 1622 01:19:46,244 --> 01:19:51,244 (water splashing) (ship creaking) 1623 01:19:55,999 --> 01:19:58,666 (hatch latches) 1624 01:20:00,117 --> 01:20:03,617 (Captain McCloud tapping) 1625 01:20:08,820 --> 01:20:11,043 Maybe we could send some divers down here. 1626 01:20:11,600 --> 01:20:13,883 Promise me something, Captain McCloud. 1627 01:20:15,041 --> 01:20:17,434 When they rescue you and they take 1628 01:20:17,434 --> 01:20:20,656 you out on the town to celebrate your triumph, 1629 01:20:20,656 --> 01:20:23,406 I want you to drink a toast to me 1630 01:20:23,711 --> 01:20:28,628 as you waltz down Broadway with the music of the brass band 1631 01:20:29,128 --> 01:20:31,937 and a dancing girl under each arm (chuckles). 1632 01:20:39,470 --> 01:20:41,900 -Two bullets left. (gun clicks) 1633 01:20:41,900 --> 01:20:42,947 Just enough. 1634 01:20:43,465 --> 01:20:44,298 Two? 1635 01:20:44,546 --> 01:20:47,753 In case I miss (chuckles). 1636 01:20:47,753 --> 01:20:48,989 Goodbye, Captain. 1637 01:20:48,989 --> 01:20:49,822 Commander! 1638 01:20:49,822 --> 01:20:54,822 (hatch latching) (water splashing) 1639 01:21:02,566 --> 01:21:05,483 (machine whirring) 1640 01:21:10,693 --> 01:21:15,693 (pensive music) (water splashing) 1641 01:21:28,732 --> 01:21:31,482 (fire crackling) 1642 01:21:33,743 --> 01:21:37,410 ("I Love You Miss Germany") 1643 01:21:44,070 --> 01:21:49,070 ♪ I love you, Miss Germany ♪ 1644 01:21:51,220 --> 01:21:56,220 ♪ But I leave you for America, dear today ♪ 1645 01:21:58,784 --> 01:22:02,391 ♪ Goodbye, dear ♪ 1646 01:22:02,391 --> 01:22:06,099 ♪ And think of me ♪ 1647 01:22:06,099 --> 01:22:11,099 ♪ On good behavior I might be let out of jail someday ♪ 1648 01:22:13,769 --> 01:22:18,769 ♪ I love you, Miss Germany ♪ 1649 01:22:20,929 --> 01:22:25,929 ♪ Keep a light out and look for me, dear and don't dismay ♪ 1650 01:22:28,327 --> 01:22:31,616 ♪ In a few years we'll laugh through our tears ♪ 1651 01:22:31,616 --> 01:22:34,533 ♪ And meet someday ♪ 1652 01:23:07,735 --> 01:23:12,735 ♪ I love you, Miss Germany ♪ 1653 01:23:14,672 --> 01:23:18,670 ♪ Keep a light out and look for me, dear ♪ 1654 01:23:18,670 --> 01:23:22,137 ♪ Don't dismay ♪ 1655 01:23:22,137 --> 01:23:25,666 ♪ In a few years we'll laugh through our tears ♪ 1656 01:23:25,666 --> 01:23:28,583 ♪ And meet someday ♪ 1657 01:23:36,587 --> 01:23:39,254 (pensive music) 1658 01:23:58,414 --> 01:24:03,414 (seagulls squawking) (waves splashing) 1659 01:24:08,213 --> 01:24:10,363 [Captain McCloud] Hard to believe, right? 1660 01:24:11,280 --> 01:24:13,130 I swear on the souls of both Rodgers 1661 01:24:13,130 --> 01:24:17,223 and Hammerstein that all of it is completely 100% true. 1662 01:24:17,952 --> 01:24:22,952 Funny thing is, UBoat 666 was never really accounted for. 1663 01:24:25,190 --> 01:24:26,423 I looked it up on Wiki. 1664 01:24:27,410 --> 01:24:29,610 If anybody watching this is an editor there, 1665 01:24:29,610 --> 01:24:32,063 I'd appreciate getting an update on your site. 1666 01:24:33,050 --> 01:24:35,423 And make sure you nail two things. 1667 01:24:35,850 --> 01:24:38,720 One, spell Braunschweiger's name properly 1668 01:24:38,720 --> 01:24:41,873 and call the poor son of a bitch Rudy, 1669 01:24:42,470 --> 01:24:46,560 and two, that submarine is still down there 1670 01:24:46,560 --> 01:24:50,723 in New York Harbor and that thing, vampire, 1671 01:24:50,880 --> 01:24:54,973 whatever it is, is still lodged in the rear torpedo bay. 1672 01:24:55,108 --> 01:24:56,388 (Captain McCloud coughs) 1673 01:24:56,388 --> 01:25:00,023 I don't know if it's dead or in hibernation, 1674 01:25:01,270 --> 01:25:05,370 but if you get down there someday, bring a sharp stake 1675 01:25:07,460 --> 01:25:12,460 and say hello from Captain Gavin McCloud. 1676 01:25:12,648 --> 01:25:16,398 ("I Love You Miss Germany") 112776

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.