All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E03.There.is.No.Cure.for.the.Common.Martian.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(spooky space music)

(audience laughs)

- Tim!

- Yes, Mister Burns.

Yes, I understand
Mister Burns, I...

Right, boss, right.

Mister Burns...

I understand that.

Trimble's Department Store.

You want me to review
the educational display.

Space exhibit.

- Tim!

(audience laughs)

- Right.

Now the minute I hang
up this telephone,

I'm on my way right
out that door.

Right.

Right, Mister Burns.

Right, bye bye.

(audience laughs)

- [Martin] Tim!

- Oh, boy.

He's gotta stop that yelling.

(audience laughs)

Man can't be in two
places at the same time.

Keeps me up all night.

Wants me to play nurse
maid to him all day.

Anyway...

- [Martin] Tim!

- Gonna stop that yelling.

After all, I'm just
a simple human being.

That's right.

I'm a human being.

- [Martin] Tim!

- Coming!

Tim, Tim, Tim...

Uncle Martin, I'd
appreciate it...

- I would appreciate it
if, during my illness,

you would keep your snide
remarks to yourself.

- Well, I was.

I can't help it if
you were listening in.

(audience laughs)

Well, drink your tea!

- I was not listening.

When I'm sick I lose all
of my superior faculties.

Look!

I can't even
levitate an ashtray!

(audience laughs)

Is this stuff hot?

- It is scalding.

- See?

See what I mean?

I'm insensitive.

- You certainly are.

You don't care that I'm in
trouble with the newspaper.

You know, you don't
even care that they,

they pushed me off on a
third rate cub assignment.

You know what they've done?

They have made me a critic
on a children's display

at Trimble's Department Store.

- I'm sick, Tim.

Really.

If your Earth virus should
get in my antennas...

- Which reminds me,
you know what happens

if somebody sees
those things out.

Now why don't you just
push them back in, huh?

- I can't push them back.

They hurt.

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin, all you have
is a simple, common cold.

- All?

Common?

Simple?

Don't you realize I'm
not the common man?

I'm a Martian!

And my system's not
prepared for this. (sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin!

- Will you kindly stop
poking me in my... (sneezes)

(audience laughs)

Now are you satisfied?

Not only is Earth a
terrible place to visit,

but I sure as Heaven shouldn't
be living here. (sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin.

Please, please!

- [Martin] It's alright, Tim.

Go!

Go on your appointed rounds.

Go!

Go, only hurry back.

- Yeah.

I will, Uncle Martin.

I'll be back just
as soon as I can.

- [Martin] Bring me
back some chicken soup.

(audience laughs)

("My Favorite Martian Theme")

(spooky space music)

- [Tim] (laughs) That,
that isn't a Martian.

- [Display Exhibitor]
It, it isn't?

- No, I...

I'm afraid that my boss must've
made some kind of a mistake

because you don't want me
to review this display.

You want me to...

- Oh, it's not me!

I...

It's, it's Mister Trimble.

It's he who...

Well you see, he buys a lot

of advertising from
your newspaper,

and he doesn't want it
to look like filler.

He wants a review.

- Oh.

- This is an aircraft,
a spacecraft.

- Oh?

Well, where are the inverters?

- The what?

- Well you see, you can't
enter the Earth's atmosphere

unless you recharge
your electrical system.

- You can't?

- Look, Miss, I don't
profess to be an expert

in outer space, but
I have made a study

of it for personal reasons.

Now, if you honestly
want this display

to appear authentic,
legitimate, educational...

(quirky music)

(audience laughs)

What's that?

- It's a... Venusian?

A life on Venus.

- Well, it's not
like that at all.

- It isn't?

- No!

You see, people on other planets

are far more
advanced than we are.

I mean, their intelligence
is, is phenomenal.

Their abilities far surpass...

Well, look, you
see we Earth people

only use a small percentage
of our brain power.

Now, if this Venusian...

- Hello, there.

You must be the young
critic from the Sun.

The Sun, that's my paper.

Read it every
morning over coffee.

I'm Mister Trimble.

- Tim O'Hara.

- I can't say I ever
recall seeing your name.

- Well, I'm not a
regular critic, sir.

I'm mostly a newspaper man.

- Good, good!

Like when they send a
boy to do a man's job.

(audience laughs)

Gives it a fresh slant, a lift.

That's my paper, the Sun.

What do you think of
our magnificent display?

Magnificent, isn't it?

I have a title for it.

Trimble's Tremendous
Tribute To Tomorrow.

- Mister Trimble...

- Shush, my dear.

I want to hear what the
young man has to say.

- Well, sir...
- And don't let the fact

that I'm Mister Trimble
himself influence you.

If you find our
display magnificent,

be not ashamed to call it so.

- Mister Trimble...

- Well, sir, I will
say that your display

is a magnificent contribution
to customer culture.

- I like that.

I like the way you talk.

- And that's not
the way I talk, sir.

That's what's printed on the
little folder you give people

as they come in the store.

(audience laughs)

- Now, I know I like it.

We're awfully proud
of you, my dear.

Miss Trimble, my daughter.

- Dad.
(audience laughs)

- Don't be ashamed, my dear.

Nepotism can be a
beautiful thing.

Just as hard work and
honest, gutsy writing can be.

I want you to pull out
all the stops, son.

Don't be afraid to pour
the accolades on her.

Just because she's Gloria
Trimble, my daughter,

no one here can
deny her her due.

Lay it on her, son.

Tell them we took
her out of lingerie

and put her into space.

(audience laughs)

- You what?

- Dad.

- Listen to Daddy, dear.

Never hide your
basket under a bushel.

- Bushel under a basket.

- A genius.

My daughter's a genius!

If you want to keep my
good faith, show me yours.

Remember the Sun is my paper.

Make me proud over
my morning coffee.

Bushel under a basket. (laughs)

(audience laughs)

- Where...

Where were we?

- What?

Oh...

I think I've got the story.

Thank you very much.

(ominous orchestral music)

Uncle Martin.

(audience laughs)

(audience laughs)

- The antiquity
of boiling water.

If only I had a Fahrenheit rod.

(audience laughs)

(knocking at door)

Who is it?

- It's me, Mrs. Brown.

Tim told me you were sick,

and he asked me to make you
some cream of chicken soup.

He said he'd pick it up,
but he hasn't come back,

so I thought I'd bring it
to you before it got cold.

- Hot, hot chicken soup.

(audience laughs)

(sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Now don't open the
door too wide, Martin.

You don't want to
get in a draft.

(audience laughs)

(sneaky orchestral music)

Martin?

Martin, you should
lock your front door.

You know, the wind
blows it open.

(audience laughs)

Yoohoo!

Martin!

Martin?

Oh, Martin!

(audience laughs)

Martin?

Martin!

(audience laughs)

(gargling)

Oh, that's good, Martin.

Use plenty of salt.

(audience laughs)

Say, would you like some honey?

It's very soothing.

I'll get you some.

It's very good for the nasals.

I'll just put a lid on
the soup and keep it...

(audience laughs)

Evaporating milk?

(audience laughs)

I don't use evaporating milk.

It couldn't have been that hot.

Evaporating chickens?

(audience laughs)

I'll be right back, Martin!

(audience laughs)

(spooky space music)

- [Martin] Hello?

Pharmacy?

The prescription department.

Hello, this is Doctor Duvall.

Has that O'Hara order left yet?

(audience laughs)

Well please hurry.

There's a sick man in the house.

(audience laughs)

- Oh, Tim.

Wait a minute, Tim.

I have some more
cream of chicken soup.

A brand new batch.

This time I made it thicker.

You know, the last
batch evaporated.

- Evaporated. (laughs)

- I was talking to your
uncle, Martin, and he was...

- Evaporated!

- He was in the
bathroom gargling.

Are you alright?

I think you're coming
down with his cold.

I better make another
batch of soup.

- O'Hara residence?

Matter of life and death?

- What?

- I got a delivery here
for a Martin O'Hara.

That'll be 4.82, COD.

- Oh, my money's upstairs.

- Well, I'll take care of it.

You take the soup up to Martin.

Wait here.

- Yeah, wait here.

Uncle Martin?

(audience laughs)

- I've taken a
turn for the worst.

I keep coming and going.

I'm getting dizzy.

What's that you got there?

- Hmmm?

Oh, cream of chicken soup.

What happened with
you and Mrs. Brown?

She didn't see you, did she?

Because she just said that...

- Will you please stop worrying
about what Mrs. Brown said.

These towels are getting cold.

(audience laughs)

I ordered some pills.

How long do you think they'll...

- Oh, yeah, they just arrived.

Mrs. Brown's gonna bring
them up in just a second.

- Good.

If I've estimated my temperature
correctly, it's over 102.

You know, your Earth
thermometers don't record

us Martians to our Nth degree.

- Yoohoo!

It's Mrs. Brown!

- The bedroom, quick!

- Please stop pushing
a poor, sick man.

- Your antennas!

- Well make believe I'm
a reindeer. (sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Where's your Uncle Martin?

- Oh, well he...

He's in the bedroom, gargling.

- Oh, I forgot his honey.

Well, we'll just
give him his pills,

and then I'll get the honey.

- Yes.

Uncle Martin?

Uncle Martin?

- What was that?

- Huh?

Oh, nothing I just...

(Martin sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Don't point at him.

You have a cold too.

Down the hatch.

That's a good boy.

Now, you see that
he takes his pills,

and I'll be right back.

(bouncy orchestral music)

(sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- I can't take much
more of this, Tim.

I'm a very sick man.

(telephone rings)

- What kind of
pills did you order?

- Extra heavy heavy
sleeping pills.

(snores)

(audience laughs)

Hello?

Oh, yeah, hello Mister Burns.

Yes.

Yes, Tim is...

Oh, yes, he's...

He's busy working on
the story right now.

(audience laughs)

Oh yes, he understands.

This is his last chance?

After being a critic in
a children's department

the next step is out.

Right.

Immediately.

The story will be down
there within the hour.

At least you could've
said good night.

(audience laughs)

Notes.

Notes.

He must have left notes.

The things that this
boy has me do for him.

One eyed Venusians?

Fish mouthed Martians?

(audience laughs)

- Tim? Martin?

- Oh, we're busy Mrs. Brown!

Both of us!

We're gargling!

(audience laughs)

- Well, alright.

I'll leave the honey
on the doorstep,

but get it before the bees do.

(audience laughs)

- We will!

Buzz a buzz!

- Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz, buzz...

(audience laughs)

- Fish mouthed Martians!

The trouble with you, Tim,
is that you don't fight back.

(spooky space music)

I remember when I was
with General Custer.

What was it he said?

Charge.

(audience laughs)

(busy orchestral music)

(ominous music)

- Get me my Sun.

My Sun!

My Sun, the newspaper!

(audience laughs)

- (laughs) No, you're
kidding, Mister Burns.

Mister Trimble said that?

And he said that?

Oh you've got to be...

I mean I know you haven't
got a sense of humor,

but you've gotta be kidding.

You're not kidding.

(sad music)

(spooky space music)

- (sighs) I feel
100% better, Tim.

That was my trouble.

I had to be grounded.

(audience laughs)

- What did you
write in my column?

- Be careful, Tim.

I've got it on medium dark.

That's as much as I can take.

(audience laughs)

- Now what did you
write in my column?

- Mister Burns was pleased, huh?

- Oh, he was delighted.

- Oh, the things I do for you.

- Yeah, that's right.

If I don't get Mister Trimble

to accept my apology and
my printed retraction,

I'm going to be fired.

- With me at your side,
and your typewriter, and...

Fired?

- Fired.

F-I-R-E-D.

Which gives me an idea.

Fried!

F-R-I-E-D.

Now, how would you like to pop
up well done on both sides?

(audience laughs)

- Tim!

Be careful!

You'll get me electrocuted.

- Well, that's the idea, killer.

- Here.

Help me get out of these things.

- Uncle Martin, who asked you
to write my column, anyhow?

Now, why did you have to go

and stick your big
nose in everything?

- You were asleep.

Out on your feet, literally.

- Yes, but why did you...

Did you copy my notes?

- I corrected them.

- To what?

- The truth.

Tim, you can't
sanction absurdities

like one eyed Venusians
and fish mouthed Martians.

Look at me, Tim.

Do I have a fish mouth?

- Well, I have a
hook in the closet.

Let's try it and
see what happens.

(audience laughs)
- Tim.

I may get you the
Pulitzer Prize.

You know, I was with Joe
Pulitzer the day he decided

to give out the prizes.

As a matter of fact, I was
the one who suggested it.

(audience laughs)

Tim.

Where is your courage?

Where is your strong heart?

I remember when I
was with Pasteur

when he was bugged
with his microbes.

And Georgie Washington when
we crossed the Delaware.

Believe me, it was cold.

My antennas froze.

(audience laughs)

Tim.

All great men have
known hard times.

- Uncle Martin, I don't
want to be a great man.

I just want to be a simple
reporter on the Sun.

- And would you sell
yourself out for this?

(serious orchestral music)

Tim.

Would you have really
written a soft review?

Accepted and
perpetrated the hogwash?

Let the children of
this nation be deceived

and believing something
that isn't true?

- Uncle Martin, it's
easy for you to talk.

You've been here all
day just plugged in,

nice and cozy and happy,

and just worrying
about yourself.

- I'm worrying about you.

- You should be because

if Mister Trimble won't accept
my apologies, I'm through.

- There are more
important things.

- That's right.

There are, and they
all go hand in hand

with finding a job
and paying the rent

and paying the grocery bills.

- And principles.

Convictions.

How much do they cost, Tim?

What are you willing
to spend on them?

- Uncle Martin, you
just don't understand.

- No.

You don't understand.

- Look, if I can't
convince Trimble that he...

- That's it.

You have it.

Convince Trimble.

- Oh, sure, just walk
into his office...

What?

(audience laughs)

- Convince Mister Trimble.

You're a bright boy, Tim.

You've got the facts.

You've got the truth.

Never let anyone take
that away from you, Tim.

The truth.

That's all any of us ever
really have. (sneezes)

(audience laughs)

- Uncle Martin?

- [Martin] That sneeze
was intentional, Tim.

On the house.

I'm going with you.

Just make sure he
doesn't open any windows

and keeps the air
conditioning off.

If I sneeze in his office,
we're both in a lot of trouble.

Unless I intend to
pucker up like a fish.

(audience laughs)

Well, don't stand
there staring, Tim.

Put on your clothes
and your convictions.

Don't worry.

I won't be seen, and
you're going to be heard.

- Well?

- Well, sir, I feel I should...

- Your apology, that's what
you're here for, young man.

And to read your retraction.

- Yes, sir, my retraction.

Well, there is no retraction.

- Do you know what
you're saying?

- No, sir. (grunts)

Yes, sir.

There's no sense
getting excited.

Now this is truth
and honesty time.

- Can't we open a window?

It's awfully warm in here.

- Dad.

- No, sir, no!

Don't open that window because,
well, I have an allergy.

- To air conditioning?

What's that got to do
with opening the window?

- Well, the test.

Yes, it's the test.

You see, they're not
sure exactly what it is

that I'm allergic
to, so we don't want

to open the window and let
all those things in here.

(audience laughs)

Do we?

Sir.

(audience laughs)
- Dad.

Now, sir, I feel that the
facts and figures show...

- The facts are in my display

and the figures are
in your paycheck.

Now do you apologize or do
you want me to get you fired?

- I apologize. (grunts)

(audience laughs)

I mean, no sir,
I don't apologize

because I don't feel I'm wrong.

- Good for you.

- Well, thank you very much.

Now, sir, I have no intention

of insulting either
you or your daughter.

- Why, I wasn't insulted.

- Oh no, sir!

No, no pepper please.

(audience laughs)

(Martin sneezes)

- He's mad!

He's gone mad!

(audience laughs)

Why's he pointing at me?

- Because you're an
impossible bully and a tyrant.

I wouldn't wonder
that you've driven

this brave young man
clear out of his mind.

- I?

I?

He insulted the name of Trimble.

- No!

You insulted the
name of Trimble.

You put me in charge
of a display that I
knew nothing about.

I belong in lingerie, not
in an outer space exhibit!

(audience laughs)

- Do you know who you're
talking to, Gloria?

- My father!

You got carried away and
caused a ridiculous exhibit,

Trimble's Tremendous
Tribute To Tomorrow.

You embarrassed me!

And you're still doing it.

- Gloria!

- I'm sorry, father, but
Mister O'Hara has courage

in his convictions,
and he's given me mine.

You were wrong.

We were wrong.

He is right.

(audience laughs)

- Young man...

I like a fighter.

I admire a man who believes,

and I like a daughter
who's like a son...

(audience laughs)

Who makes me proud.

I'm gonna call your
boss, Mister Burns,

and tell him that we've
straightened out our problems.

(audience laughs)

And that he should
provide medical expenses

to take care of that allergy.

Seems to have gotten
into your finger.

(audience laughs)

As for you, my dear,
my son the daughter,

it's back in lingerie
where you belong.

(audience laughs)
- Thanks, Dad.

Oh, and don't worry
about a thing, Tim.

Don't worry about anything.

Everything will
be taken care of.

(Martin sneezes)

(audience laughs)

(sighs)

- Take a letter to Mister
Burns, editor of the Sun,

regarding Tim O'Hara.

After further consideration,
it has occurred to me

to request you
double Tim's salary.

Add it to my advertising budget.

We'll never miss it.

And my highest
compliments to you

on having such a courageous
young man on your staff.

If ever you have to
recommend someone

for the Pulitzer Prize,

I recommend that
you recommend him.

(audience laughs)

Initial this and send
it out right away...

(sneezes)

(audience laughs)

How Earthy can a
Martian get? (laughs)

(audience laughs)

(lighthearted orchestral music)

(Tim whistles)

Tim, who's the lucky
lady this evening?

- Miss Gloria Trimble.

- Well...

She's after your money, Tim.

Now that you've
gotten a pay raise,

you've got to be
careful of women.

- Yeah, come on, Uncle Martin.

Let me go will you please?

I'm gonna be late.

- Shall I wait up for you?

- No, I don't think so.

We're going to go
star gazing tonight.

- Oh?

- Seems I'm an expert
on the subject.

(audience laughs)

- Good night, Tim.

- Good night, Uncle Martin.

Oh, by the way,

gesundheit.

(audience laughs)

- Thank you.

(sneezes)

(audience laughs)
Oh no!

("My Favorite Martian Theme")