Original subtitles

(cheerful music)

- (laughs) Well, Mr Burns, I'm afraid

I have very bad news for you.

Yes the paper keeps coming out every day

even though you're away on vacation.

(laughs)

Oh, ah, who?

- [Mr Burns] Hey, how's George?

- Oh George, oh yes you have a

wonderful dog there, Mr Burns.

- [Mr Burns] That dog is my child Tim,

I'm leaving him in your hands.

He's a happy, happy dog and if he's happy, I'm happy.

But if he's unhappy,

- I'm unemployed.

(laughter)

I'm overjoyed. Um, no it's good to know

that you trust me to take care of him.

Well sir, take care of him I will.

(spooky music)

He's a pleasure to have around the house.

So peppy, full of life.

What, oh yes, Mr Burns, as a matter of fact

he's standing right here wagging his tail,

I think he'd like to say hello to you.

Ah George? George?

It's your master and mine, George, say something.

George.

Uncle Martin, George.

(sinking music)

(laughter)

(Uncle Martin barks)

Ah well, that was goodbye and have a good time from George.

Right Mr Burns.

Yeah, and don't worry, right.

George, now George what's the matter with you, huh?

Now George, what's the matter huh? Tell me.

Come on, tell me.

(George moans)

(beeping)

(cheerful music)

Mmm, George, look what I have for you.

Ha, ha, meat, mmm, mmm, George?

George watch, watch, I'll bite it.

Mmm, right.

Well what am I gonna do, he's just wasting away.

You know whatever happens to him happens to me double.

(cheerful music)

Oh no, not that.

- That's the third batch of brownies this week, isn't it?

- Yeah, but she's such a sweet girl

I don't want to hurt her feelings.

Anyway, I haven't gotten over the last batch.

- What a break, she changed her mind.

- No, I changed it for her.

(laughter)

- Oh, oh yeah. Well thanks Uncle Martin.

Well anyway, what am I gonna do about George?

- All right, let's see if I can find out

what's bothering him.

George, may I have a word with you?

(George moans)

(laughter)

Yes.

- What's he saying, what's he saying?

- Mm hmm, oh.

- Well? Well, well?

- He's in love.

- Oh come on. George?

(George moans)

- Convinced?

- Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

Well, who's the girl? I mean, well you know what I mean.

- She lives in the apartment next door.

- So what's the problem?

- He's just seen her, he's never had a chance to meet her.

- What's the matter, is George bashful or something?

- Oh no, the other dog is never let out onto the lawn.

They've only wagged tails at each other through the window.

(laughter)

- Oh, you're kidding aren't you,

you just made this whole story up?

- All right then, I withdraw from the case.

(George moans)

- No Uncle Martin, look, I am,

I believe you but what are we gonna do about it?

- Well why don't we go next door and talk to the girlfriend.

- That is a good idea, come on let's go.

Come on George, let's see what she looks like.

I'm going next door to talk to the girlfriend

of my boss's dog.

Sure, that makes sense.

(laughter)

(dog whimpers)

(George barks)

Well, looks like George is giving it to you straight.

- Unlike other creatures on this planet

I've never had a dog lie to me.

- Well I must say George, you sure can pick 'em.

(George barks)

- All right George, I'll see what I can do about it.

Wants me to open the window

so he can talk to his girlfriend.

I'll have to do it from inside but I can tell her how.

(intense music)

(dog barks)

Good work, Chloe. That's fine Chloe.

Her name is Chloe.

- Oh.

(laughter)

(romantic music)

You don't have to tell me, I know what they're saying.

- You do?

- Oh sure, he just said,

"Oh lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear",

and she just said, "Oh swear not by the moon,

"the inconstant moon, which monthly changes

"in its server lord, blessed thy love

"to likewise variable." (laughs)

(George moans)

(laughter)

- George, you'd better let me talk to her.

(Chloe barks)

(Martin laughs)

- What's so funny?

- She likes my Martian accent, she thinks it's very sexy.

(laughter)

Well go on Chloe, tell me more.

(Chloe barks)

Uh huh, you don't say.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk,

- Well, what'd she say?

- Well it seems her mistress has an emotional problem.

An unhappy experience with a man.

Now she hates all males, and she's being overprotective

with Chloe, won't let her out,

lavishes a lot of neurotic affection on her and so on.

- She said all that?

- Approximately. Of course it loses something

in the translation.

(laughter)

(Chloe barks)

(dramatic music)

- Enough accuracy.

- She's certainly broadcasting a lot of hostility.

(George moans)

- It is your problem too.

Now look, if Mr Burns's dog dies of a broken heart

and goes to that great boneyard up in the sky,

he is gonna fire me and then we're both gonna starve.

- If you don't settle yourself I'll fire you

and we'll both get burned.

I told you exactly what to do.

Now if you don't mind I've got lots of work

on this ship of mine before it can ever fly again.

- Well surely that immense, huge Martian brain of yours

can come up with a better idea.

- No, it's the perfect solution.

Take her out, romance her, wrench please,

and restore her faith in the male of your species.

- I happen to be one of those guys who can't get excited

about belligerent women. They just don't turn me on.

- Ah, the problem is to turn her on,

bring back the scent of roses on summer eve,

the silver light of the moon,

the sound of birds singing.

- And what if she starts hearing wedding bells, hmm?

Martian, that is dangerous.

It could happen you know, I'm not exactly unattractive.

- And you're not exactly modest either.

- Well I have a certain amount of pride

and personal integrity.

- You want to keep your job don't you?

- I'm not gonna do it.

(cheerful music)

(George barks)

(Tim whistling)

(George moans)

- Ready George, ready Chloe,

three, two, one, go!

(dogs bark)

- Chloe stop it.

- I'm terribly sorry, George, heel, heel. (laughs)

- [Marsha] I'm terribly sorry.

- [Tim] Yes, oh well.

All that money for an obedience course,

all my dog does on command is eat.

- Chloe's usually so well behaved.

She's just been full of the devil today.

- Yes I know what you mean.

Look this may not be very important,

but my name is Tim O'Hara.

- I'm Marsha Carson.

- Oh, well it's been very nice bumping into you.

Oh, here.

- Thank you, well, bye.

- Ah yes, bye now.

- Goodbye.

Oh, wait a minute, we've got the wrong dogs.

(laughter)

- I'm sorry, I'm afraid I get a little flustered

meeting you and all, and well with the birds singing

and the scent of roses in the air.

Hey, well look at that.

- (laughs) It would be a shame to part them.

- Oh we couldn't no, well come on now what's

- Chloe.

- Chloe, well that's George.

Here we go.

Boy, look at that dog eat.

- Oh how you earthlings fool yourselves.

You keep saying that the seat of love is the heart,

but obviously it's the stomach,

and love itself is just another form of indigestion.

- Well, anyway, that is a happy dog.

You know for a while there I was worried about him.

- You were worried about your job.

- Well, anyway, he's making progress.

- From what I've been able to observe, so have you.

(laughter)

- Can I ask something, it's a funny thing but

Marsha turned out to be a very nice girl.

You know for a while there I thought she was

childish and immature, but I was wrong.

No, as well as being mature and thoughtful,

she's really very beautiful.

- And you didn't even know she existed.

- Yeah, you can live right next door to a girl

and never realize just how wonderful she is.

- Hello there.

- Oh hi, hon.

And have you noticed just how beautifully she dresses?

- Oh, it's really nothing.

- Oh what do you mean it's nothing,

it takes a lot of thought and imagination

for a girl to look like that.

- Well, I guess it's just sort of a knack.

- Some people have it, some people don't.

- It's nice to be one of the lucky ones.

- Yeah, because I know that Marsha doesn't have

that much money.

- Who?

- Marsha. Carson. The girl who lives next door.

Oh by the way, George and I would like to

thank you very much for all the help

(door slams)

What was all that about?

- I don't know, I've given up tuning in

on the youngsters of this planet.

And the emotional turbulence of you so-called adults

is bad enough, but when you get involved with

the opposite sex, (sighs)

(laughter)

- I suppose he can't help being basically a butterfly,

flitting from one flower to another,

sipping from the cup of love but never drinking deeply.

- Tim?

- Oh, he means what he says when he's saying it,

but the minute he sees another flower, off he flits.

He is good looking and charming.

He just doesn't realize how he hurts people.

- I know what you mean.

I always seem to be running into that type.

- I sympathize with you, deeply.

(poignant music)

(music snaps suddenly)

(cheerful music)

(knocks on door)

- Well, here we are.

- You butterfly!

(door slams)

- Marsha?

(George moans)

A butterfly, that's what she called me.

- Well maybe George knows what it's all about.

George, come here a minute.

(George moans)

- I think you just lost a friend.

- George, come over here. What's the matter with you?

(George moans)

Did you hear what he said?

- Oh I missed the lyric but the melody was familiar.

(laughter)

- He says it's all our fault for interfering.

If you'll kindly remember, you asked for my help.

(George moans)

That suits me just fine.

(laughter)

(George moans)

We've been fired.

- By him?

- And he says he's never going to eat again.

(laughter)

- Hello again. Anything wrong?

- Well yes there is as a matter of fact,

I just had a girl slam a door in my face.

- Really? I can't imagine any girl

slamming a door in your face.

- Well she did.

- Whom, if I may ask?

- Marsha Carson.

I told you, the girl who lives next door?

You don't know her by any chance, do you?

- Oh just slightly. Of course I'm not surprised,

I happen to have heard a rumor she hates all men,

but that's because she just had a traumatic

emotional experience.

- That makes two of us.

- Three, counting George.

(laughter)

- She was deeply in love with a man who ran off to Mexico

without even saying goodbye.

- Hmm, well his big mistake was saying

hello in the first place.

- Ah, what was the man's name?

- I don't know.

- Well, I gotta go cover a story at the airport.

- I'm awfully sorry about your unpleasant experience, Tim.

I guess some women like Marsha never mature,

and others are quite mature even when they're teens.

- Oh, yes, well.

Oh George, will you please try to eat something

while I'm gone?

(George moans)

George!

(George barks)

(Chloe barks)

- Chloe! Chloe what a terrible thing to say.

I'm used to humans being irrational but not dogs.

(Chloe barks)

All I want is a little information, I'm trying to help you.

What do you mean stay off your side?

(Chloe barks)

Chloe!

Chloe!

Wait a minute Chloe!

Can't we talk this over?

(laughter)

George? George! George.

I have a few things to discuss with you.

(George barks)

Front and center!

That's better, at ease.

You are going to have to beat some sense

into your girlfriend's head.

I need some information and you are going to

have to get it for me. Mmmmm?

(George moans)

All right, now, fall in and follow me.

(cheerful music)

(beeping)

All right now George, in you go.

Make it quick and take grrr for an answer.

(laughter)

(cheerful music)

- [Marsha] Out! Get out of here! Out!

Out, out, get out!

(George barks)

(George moans)

- George! George?

Hey George, well? What'd you find out, huh?

(George moans)

Ah, good work George!

(dials phone)

Operator, I want to put in a person to person call

to Mexico.

Yes, the name of the party is ...

Howard Loomis.

And I believe you can find him at the Del Formoso Hotel.

(dramatic music)

(slams car door)

(knocking)

- You!

- Ah, ah, no you don't!

- I don't want to talk to you.

- Try and stop yourself.

- I was hoping I'd never see you again.

- Well you almost never did.

And then I got this anonymous phone call

saying you were involved with another man,

I took the first plane up here.

- Well you can take the first plane back.

And there's no man in my life, including you.

(George moans)

- It looks bad.

- Doesn't look good.

- Well there's nothing so painful as unrequited love.

Believe me, I know.

- He's been carrying on like one of the

great tragic lovers of history.

- Yes, Dante and Beatrice, Anthony and Cleopatra,

George and Chloe.

- Well I give up.

I'm gonna have to get him back to my editor

while he is still alive.

- It was an emergency, Marsha,

and I not only wrote to you, I said in the letter

I was gonna marry you when I got back.

- Marry me? Sure.

And what other sweet things did you say in that letter?

- Listen, the only reason I wrote to you

was because I couldn't get you on the phone

the night I left.

- Well I never got that letter.

Here's all my mail.

Nothing but magazines.

(dramatic music)

Oh, Lord.

- Well, I might as well call Mr Burns

and tell him to cut short his vacation,

take care of joyful George here.

Oh boy, he's gonna love that.

(dials phone)

- Hold it, Tim, not now, not now.

- Why not, he's already got one paw in the dog morgue.

- You've got to give it one more try.

Go over and see Marsha right now.

I have a feeling she needs you.

- Yeah?

- Right now.

- Yeah.

- Tim! Isn't that crawling?

- Yeah.

(laughter)

(romantic music)

- Oh Howard, such a beautiful letter.

- I know I was upset.

When a guy asks a girl to marry him,

he expects some kind of an answer.

- Here's your answer.

- [Tim] Marsha, it's Tim!

- Be right there, Tim.

Hi Tim.

- Hi, listen I just thought I'd stop by and ...

- I'm glad you did.

I want to apologize about my rudeness.

- Oh, no, forget it,

look I couldn't stay angry with a girl like you.

As a matter of fact I thought you might need some help

so I thought I'd just stop in

- Isn't that amazing? I do.

- Well yeah!

- Come on. (laughs)

Don't get nervous, come on,

come on, we're going somewhere.

Ah, I wondered if you'd mind keeping Chloe

while Howard and I go to Las Vegas to get married?

- Howard?

(laughter)

Howard?

(laughter)

- This is our good friend and neighbor Tim O'Hara.

My fiance, Howard Loomis.

(laughter)

- Oh, any fiance of Marsha's is certainly

a friend of mine.

I wish you both, well the very, very best of luck.

Well, it's been very nice chatting with you.

Goodbye.

(laughter)

Yep, she needed me all right.

To take care of Chloe.

- Well look at it this way,

you may have lost a girl, but you gained a dog.

(laughter)

(dogs moan)

(cheerful music)

(laughter)

(dog barks)

- Yes?

(dog moans)

Oh no, not another friend of George's?

(laughter)

Look, I'm a busy Martian, I don't have time

to straighten out the problems of all of George's friends.

(dog moans)

(laughter)

No, no, no, that is final.

(dog moans and pants)

Oh all right, what is it?

(dog moans)

Are you sure you're not making this up?

Really? Really?

(laughter)

What a planet for me to get marooned on.

(laughter)

(cheerful music)