All language subtitles for My.Favorite.Martian.S01E02.The.Matchmakers.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-NTb

(cheerful music)

- (laughs) Well, Mr
Burns, I'm afraid

I have very bad news for you.

Yes the paper keeps
coming out every day

even though you're
away on vacation.

(laughs)

Oh, ah, who?

- [Mr Burns] Hey, how's George?

- Oh George, oh yes you have a

wonderful dog there, Mr Burns.

- [Mr Burns] That
dog is my child Tim,

I'm leaving him in your hands.

He's a happy, happy dog and
if he's happy, I'm happy.

But if he's unhappy,

- I'm unemployed.

(laughter)

I'm overjoyed. Um,
no it's good to know

that you trust me
to take care of him.

Well sir, take
care of him I will.

(spooky music)

He's a pleasure to
have around the house.

So peppy, full of life.

What, oh yes, Mr Burns,
as a matter of fact

he's standing right
here wagging his tail,

I think he'd like
to say hello to you.

Ah George? George?

It's your master and mine,
George, say something.

George.

Uncle Martin, George.

(sinking music)

(laughter)

(Uncle Martin barks)

Ah well, that was goodbye and
have a good time from George.

Right Mr Burns.

Yeah, and don't worry, right.

George, now George what's
the matter with you, huh?

Now George, what's the
matter huh? Tell me.

Come on, tell me.

(George moans)

(beeping)

(cheerful music)

Mmm, George, look
what I have for you.

Ha, ha, meat, mmm, mmm, George?

George watch,
watch, I'll bite it.

Mmm, right.

Well what am I gonna do,
he's just wasting away.

You know whatever happens
to him happens to me double.

(cheerful music)

Oh no, not that.

- That's the third batch of
brownies this week, isn't it?

- Yeah, but she's
such a sweet girl

I don't want to
hurt her feelings.

Anyway, I haven't gotten
over the last batch.

- What a break, she
changed her mind.

- No, I changed it for her.

(laughter)

- Oh, oh yeah. Well
thanks Uncle Martin.

Well anyway, what am I
gonna do about George?

- All right, let's
see if I can find out

what's bothering him.

George, may I have
a word with you?

(George moans)

(laughter)

Yes.

- What's he saying,
what's he saying?

- Mm hmm, oh.

- Well? Well, well?

- He's in love.

- Oh come on. George?

(George moans)

- Convinced?

- Yeah, yeah, I guess so.

Well, who's the girl? I mean,
well you know what I mean.

- She lives in the
apartment next door.

- So what's the problem?

- He's just seen her, he's
never had a chance to meet her.

- What's the matter, is
George bashful or something?

- Oh no, the other dog is
never let out onto the lawn.

They've only wagged tails at
each other through the window.

(laughter)

- Oh, you're kidding aren't you,

you just made this
whole story up?

- All right then, I
withdraw from the case.

(George moans)

- No Uncle Martin, look, I am,

I believe you but what
are we gonna do about it?

- Well why don't we go next
door and talk to the girlfriend.

- That is a good idea,
come on let's go.

Come on George, let's
see what she looks like.

I'm going next door to
talk to the girlfriend

of my boss's dog.

Sure, that makes sense.

(laughter)

(dog whimpers)

(George barks)

Well, looks like George is
giving it to you straight.

- Unlike other
creatures on this planet

I've never had a dog lie to me.

- Well I must say George,
you sure can pick 'em.

(George barks)

- All right George, I'll
see what I can do about it.

Wants me to open the window

so he can talk to
his girlfriend.

I'll have to do it from
inside but I can tell her how.

(intense music)

(dog barks)

Good work, Chloe.
That's fine Chloe.

Her name is Chloe.

- Oh.

(laughter)

(romantic music)

You don't have to tell me,
I know what they're saying.

- You do?

- Oh sure, he just said,

"Oh lady, by yonder
blessed moon I swear",

and she just said, "Oh
swear not by the moon,

"the inconstant moon,
which monthly changes

"in its server lord,
blessed thy love

"to likewise variable." (laughs)

(George moans)

(laughter)

- George, you'd better
let me talk to her.

(Chloe barks)

(Martin laughs)

- What's so funny?

- She likes my Martian accent,
she thinks it's very sexy.

(laughter)

Well go on Chloe, tell me more.

(Chloe barks)

Uh huh, you don't say.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk,

- Well, what'd she say?

- Well it seems her mistress
has an emotional problem.

An unhappy experience
with a man.

Now she hates all males, and
she's being overprotective

with Chloe, won't let her out,

lavishes a lot of neurotic
affection on her and so on.

- She said all that?

- Approximately. Of
course it loses something

in the translation.

(laughter)

(Chloe barks)

(dramatic music)

- Enough accuracy.

- She's certainly broadcasting
a lot of hostility.

(George moans)

- It is your problem too.

Now look, if Mr Burns's
dog dies of a broken heart

and goes to that great
boneyard up in the sky,

he is gonna fire me and then
we're both gonna starve.

- If you don't settle
yourself I'll fire you

and we'll both get burned.

I told you exactly what to do.

Now if you don't mind
I've got lots of work

on this ship of mine before
it can ever fly again.

- Well surely that immense,
huge Martian brain of yours

can come up with a better idea.

- No, it's the perfect solution.

Take her out, romance
her, wrench please,

and restore her faith in
the male of your species.

- I happen to be one of those
guys who can't get excited

about belligerent women.
They just don't turn me on.

- Ah, the problem
is to turn her on,

bring back the scent
of roses on summer eve,

the silver light of the moon,

the sound of birds singing.

- And what if she starts
hearing wedding bells, hmm?

Martian, that is dangerous.

It could happen you know,
I'm not exactly unattractive.

- And you're not
exactly modest either.

- Well I have a
certain amount of pride

and personal integrity.

- You want to keep
your job don't you?

- I'm not gonna do it.

(cheerful music)

(George barks)

(Tim whistling)

(George moans)

- Ready George, ready Chloe,

three, two, one, go!

(dogs bark)

- Chloe stop it.

- I'm terribly sorry,
George, heel, heel. (laughs)

- [Marsha] I'm terribly sorry.

- [Tim] Yes, oh well.

All that money for
an obedience course,

all my dog does
on command is eat.

- Chloe's usually
so well behaved.

She's just been full
of the devil today.

- Yes I know what you mean.

Look this may not
be very important,

but my name is Tim O'Hara.

- I'm Marsha Carson.

- Oh, well it's been very
nice bumping into you.

Oh, here.

- Thank you, well, bye.

- Ah yes, bye now.

- Goodbye.

Oh, wait a minute, we've
got the wrong dogs.

(laughter)

- I'm sorry, I'm afraid
I get a little flustered

meeting you and all, and
well with the birds singing

and the scent of
roses in the air.

Hey, well look at that.

- (laughs) It would be
a shame to part them.

- Oh we couldn't no,
well come on now what's

- Chloe.

- Chloe, well that's George.

Here we go.

Boy, look at that dog eat.

- Oh how you earthlings
fool yourselves.

You keep saying that the
seat of love is the heart,

but obviously it's the stomach,

and love itself is just
another form of indigestion.

- Well, anyway,
that is a happy dog.

You know for a while there
I was worried about him.

- You were worried
about your job.

- Well, anyway, he's
making progress.

- From what I've been able
to observe, so have you.

(laughter)

- Can I ask something,
it's a funny thing but

Marsha turned out to
be a very nice girl.

You know for a while
there I thought she was

childish and immature,
but I was wrong.

No, as well as being
mature and thoughtful,

she's really very beautiful.

- And you didn't even
know she existed.

- Yeah, you can live
right next door to a girl

and never realize just
how wonderful she is.

- Hello there.

- Oh hi, hon.

And have you noticed just
how beautifully she dresses?

- Oh, it's really nothing.

- Oh what do you
mean it's nothing,

it takes a lot of
thought and imagination

for a girl to look like that.

- Well, I guess it's
just sort of a knack.

- Some people have
it, some people don't.

- It's nice to be one
of the lucky ones.

- Yeah, because I know
that Marsha doesn't have

that much money.

- Who?

- Marsha. Carson. The
girl who lives next door.

Oh by the way, George
and I would like to

thank you very much
for all the help

(door slams)

What was all that about?

- I don't know, I've
given up tuning in

on the youngsters
of this planet.

And the emotional turbulence
of you so-called adults

is bad enough, but when
you get involved with

the opposite sex, (sighs)

(laughter)

- I suppose he can't help
being basically a butterfly,

flitting from one
flower to another,

sipping from the cup of love
but never drinking deeply.

- Tim?

- Oh, he means what he
says when he's saying it,

but the minute he sees
another flower, off he flits.

He is good looking and charming.

He just doesn't realize
how he hurts people.

- I know what you mean.

I always seem to be
running into that type.

- I sympathize with you, deeply.

(poignant music)

(music snaps suddenly)

(cheerful music)

(knocks on door)

- Well, here we are.

- You butterfly!

(door slams)

- Marsha?

(George moans)

A butterfly, that's
what she called me.

- Well maybe George knows
what it's all about.

George, come here a minute.

(George moans)

- I think you just
lost a friend.

- George, come over here.
What's the matter with you?

(George moans)

Did you hear what he said?

- Oh I missed the lyric but
the melody was familiar.

(laughter)

- He says it's all our
fault for interfering.

If you'll kindly remember,
you asked for my help.

(George moans)

That suits me just fine.

(laughter)

(George moans)

We've been fired.

- By him?

- And he says he's never
going to eat again.

(laughter)

- Hello again. Anything wrong?

- Well yes there is
as a matter of fact,

I just had a girl slam
a door in my face.

- Really? I can't
imagine any girl

slamming a door in your face.

- Well she did.

- Whom, if I may ask?

- Marsha Carson.

I told you, the girl
who lives next door?

You don't know her by
any chance, do you?

- Oh just slightly. Of
course I'm not surprised,

I happen to have heard a
rumor she hates all men,

but that's because she
just had a traumatic

emotional experience.

- That makes two of us.

- Three, counting George.

(laughter)

- She was deeply in love with
a man who ran off to Mexico

without even saying goodbye.

- Hmm, well his big
mistake was saying

hello in the first place.

- Ah, what was the man's name?

- I don't know.

- Well, I gotta go cover
a story at the airport.

- I'm awfully sorry about your
unpleasant experience, Tim.

I guess some women like
Marsha never mature,

and others are quite mature
even when they're teens.

- Oh, yes, well.

Oh George, will you please
try to eat something

while I'm gone?

(George moans)

George!

(George barks)

(Chloe barks)

- Chloe! Chloe what a
terrible thing to say.

I'm used to humans being
irrational but not dogs.

(Chloe barks)

All I want is a little
information, I'm
trying to help you.

What do you mean
stay off your side?

(Chloe barks)

Chloe!

Chloe!

Wait a minute Chloe!

Can't we talk this over?

(laughter)

George? George! George.

I have a few things
to discuss with you.

(George barks)

Front and center!

That's better, at ease.

You are going to have
to beat some sense

into your girlfriend's head.

I need some information
and you are going to

have to get it for me. Mmmmm?

(George moans)

All right, now, fall
in and follow me.

(cheerful music)

(beeping)

All right now George, in you go.

Make it quick and take
grrr for an answer.

(laughter)

(cheerful music)

- [Marsha] Out! Get
out of here! Out!

Out, out, get out!

(George barks)

(George moans)

- George! George?

Hey George, well? What'd
you find out, huh?

(George moans)

Ah, good work George!

(dials phone)

Operator, I want to put
in a person to person call

to Mexico.

Yes, the name of
the party is ...

Howard Loomis.

And I believe you can find
him at the Del Formoso Hotel.

(dramatic music)

(slams car door)

(knocking)

- You!

- Ah, ah, no you don't!

- I don't want to talk to you.

- Try and stop yourself.

- I was hoping I'd
never see you again.

- Well you almost never did.

And then I got this
anonymous phone call

saying you were involved
with another man,

I took the first plane up here.

- Well you can take
the first plane back.

And there's no man in
my life, including you.

(George moans)

- It looks bad.

- Doesn't look good.

- Well there's nothing so
painful as unrequited love.

Believe me, I know.

- He's been carrying
on like one of the

great tragic lovers of history.

- Yes, Dante and Beatrice,
Anthony and Cleopatra,

George and Chloe.

- Well I give up.

I'm gonna have to get
him back to my editor

while he is still alive.

- It was an emergency, Marsha,

and I not only wrote to
you, I said in the letter

I was gonna marry
you when I got back.

- Marry me? Sure.

And what other sweet things
did you say in that letter?

- Listen, the only
reason I wrote to you

was because I couldn't
get you on the phone

the night I left.

- Well I never got that letter.

Here's all my mail.

Nothing but magazines.

(dramatic music)

Oh, Lord.

- Well, I might as
well call Mr Burns

and tell him to cut
short his vacation,

take care of joyful George here.

Oh boy, he's gonna love that.

(dials phone)

- Hold it, Tim,
not now, not now.

- Why not, he's already got
one paw in the dog morgue.

- You've got to give
it one more try.

Go over and see
Marsha right now.

I have a feeling she needs you.

- Yeah?

- Right now.

- Yeah.

- Tim! Isn't that crawling?

- Yeah.

(laughter)

(romantic music)

- Oh Howard, such
a beautiful letter.

- I know I was upset.

When a guy asks a
girl to marry him,

he expects some
kind of an answer.

- Here's your answer.

- [Tim] Marsha, it's Tim!

- Be right there, Tim.

Hi Tim.

- Hi, listen I just
thought I'd stop by and ...

- I'm glad you did.

I want to apologize
about my rudeness.

- Oh, no, forget it,

look I couldn't stay angry
with a girl like you.

As a matter of fact I thought
you might need some help

so I thought I'd just stop in

- Isn't that amazing? I do.

- Well yeah!

- Come on. (laughs)

Don't get nervous, come on,

come on, we're going somewhere.

Ah, I wondered if you'd
mind keeping Chloe

while Howard and I go to
Las Vegas to get married?

- Howard?

(laughter)

Howard?

(laughter)

- This is our good friend
and neighbor Tim O'Hara.

My fiance, Howard Loomis.

(laughter)

- Oh, any fiance of
Marsha's is certainly

a friend of mine.

I wish you both, well the
very, very best of luck.

Well, it's been very
nice chatting with you.

Goodbye.

(laughter)

Yep, she needed me all right.

To take care of Chloe.

- Well look at it this way,

you may have lost a girl,
but you gained a dog.

(laughter)

(dogs moan)

(cheerful music)

(laughter)

(dog barks)

- Yes?

(dog moans)

Oh no, not another
friend of George's?

(laughter)

Look, I'm a busy Martian,
I don't have time

to straighten out the problems
of all of George's friends.

(dog moans)

(laughter)

No, no, no, that is final.

(dog moans and pants)

Oh all right, what is it?

(dog moans)

Are you sure you're
not making this up?

Really? Really?

(laughter)

What a planet for me
to get marooned on.

(laughter)

(cheerful music)