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1
00:01:37,620 --> 00:01:41,791
Have you ever confused
a dream with life?
2
00:01:44,168 --> 00:01:47,964
Or stolen something
when you have the cash?
3
00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:54,137
Have you ever been blue?
4
00:01:56,681 --> 00:02:00,560
Or thought your train moving
while sitting still?
5
00:02:02,729 --> 00:02:05,148
Maybe l was just crazy.
6
00:02:07,025 --> 00:02:09,527
Maybe it was the '60s.
7
00:02:10,403 --> 00:02:12,739
Or maybe l was just a girl...
8
00:02:14,282 --> 00:02:15,658
... interrupted.
9
00:02:16,034 --> 00:02:18,036
Put her in restraints.
Withdraw bIood.
10
00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:19,078
HoId on.
11
00:02:19,287 --> 00:02:21,831
Give her five miIIigrams
of VaIium, IV.
12
00:02:23,207 --> 00:02:25,209
Turn her head so she doesn't aspirate.
13
00:02:25,585 --> 00:02:26,502
There you go.
14
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:29,714
Aspirin fragments
and vodka, I think.
15
00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:32,884
Don't teII me what you think.
Take it to the Iab.
16
00:02:33,801 --> 00:02:37,221
You shouId check my hand.
There's no bones in it.
17
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:38,348
A wrist banger.
18
00:02:39,432 --> 00:02:43,478
Is that why you did this?
And other things.
19
00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:46,147
Her parents are on the way.
20
00:02:46,898 --> 00:02:49,025
Sometimes it's hard...
21
00:02:49,651 --> 00:02:51,819
...for me to stay in one...
22
00:02:52,278 --> 00:02:53,696
...pIace.
23
00:02:53,905 --> 00:02:56,282
Susanna...
24
00:02:56,491 --> 00:02:59,035
... if you had no bones
in your hand...
25
00:03:00,244 --> 00:03:02,288
...how did you pick up the aspirin?
26
00:03:12,715 --> 00:03:15,218
What is my mother doing?
27
00:03:15,510 --> 00:03:17,512
WouId you answer my question, pIease?
28
00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:23,351
How did you pick up the aspirin
if you had no bones in your hand?
29
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,813
By then, they'd come back.
30
00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:31,401
I see.
31
00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:35,238
No, you don't.
32
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:36,698
WeII...
33
00:03:38,491 --> 00:03:40,076
...induIge me, then.
34
00:03:41,244 --> 00:03:42,954
ExpIain it to me.
35
00:03:45,623 --> 00:03:47,083
ExpIain what?
36
00:03:47,417 --> 00:03:52,547
ExpIain to a doctor that the Iaws
of physics can be suspended?
37
00:03:52,839 --> 00:03:55,883
That what goes up
may not come down?
38
00:04:01,055 --> 00:04:02,557
ExpIain...
39
00:04:02,765 --> 00:04:05,184
...that time...
40
00:04:05,393 --> 00:04:08,605
...can move backwards and forwards...
41
00:04:08,771 --> 00:04:11,816
...and now to then and back again...
42
00:04:12,442 --> 00:04:14,402
...and you can't controI it?
43
00:04:15,111 --> 00:04:16,904
Why can't you controI it?
44
00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:21,242
What?
45
00:04:21,701 --> 00:04:23,578
Why can't you controI time?
46
00:04:43,306 --> 00:04:47,602
Where were you?
Everyone is here. Come on.
47
00:04:51,230 --> 00:04:54,359
Mary, you remember Susanna.
Yes, I do.
48
00:04:58,237 --> 00:04:59,489
You're wearing this?
49
00:04:59,781 --> 00:05:03,159
I didn't know it was so earIy.
I wouId've changed.
50
00:05:03,409 --> 00:05:05,995
Everybody, Iook who's here.
51
00:05:06,663 --> 00:05:08,831
Happy birthday, Dad.
Thanks, sweetie.
52
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:11,834
I'm sorry, I want to say hi to her.
53
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:17,173
Sweetie, wouId you hoId this for me?
I just want to say hi to Susanna.
54
00:05:17,674 --> 00:05:19,258
Excuse me. Susanna!
55
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,679
Susanna!
Professor GiIcrest's wife.
56
00:05:22,971 --> 00:05:25,098
Barbara GiIcrest.
You remember me?
57
00:05:25,348 --> 00:05:27,684
Bonnie's mom. I'm Bonnie's mom.
58
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:30,186
Your skin is so beautifuI.
59
00:05:30,478 --> 00:05:32,355
Wasn't Bonnie in your Iit. cIass?
60
00:05:33,231 --> 00:05:35,149
Yeah. How is she doing?
61
00:05:35,692 --> 00:05:37,860
She just got accepted to RadcIiffe.
62
00:05:38,069 --> 00:05:39,654
What a conundrum.
63
00:05:39,862 --> 00:05:41,364
I'm a WeIIesIey girI, myseIf.
64
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:45,201
But I think young women shouId
make up their own mind, don't you?
65
00:05:49,706 --> 00:05:51,374
Are you stoned?
66
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,587
Do you smoke pot?
67
00:05:59,215 --> 00:06:01,009
Take LSD?
68
00:06:04,512 --> 00:06:05,930
No drugs?
69
00:06:12,103 --> 00:06:14,105
How do you feeI right now?
70
00:06:17,734 --> 00:06:19,110
I...
71
00:06:20,612 --> 00:06:22,447
...don't know.
72
00:06:23,072 --> 00:06:25,158
I don't know what I'm feeIing.
73
00:06:28,578 --> 00:06:30,580
You need a rest.
74
00:06:31,748 --> 00:06:33,833
WeII, I'II go home, take a nap.
75
00:06:34,083 --> 00:06:38,171
No. You need to go somewhere
where you can get a genuine rest.
76
00:06:39,088 --> 00:06:40,798
And you're very Iucky.
77
00:06:41,090 --> 00:06:43,468
The best pIace
for someone Iike you...
78
00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,471
...is Iess than
a haIf an hour from here.
79
00:06:46,763 --> 00:06:48,723
You don't mean CIaymoore?
80
00:06:50,934 --> 00:06:52,810
Four days ago...
81
00:06:53,019 --> 00:06:56,564
...you chased a bottIe of aspirin
with a bottIe of vodka.
82
00:06:58,524 --> 00:07:00,610
I had a headache.
83
00:07:06,282 --> 00:07:08,409
Your father is a friend of mine.
84
00:07:08,952 --> 00:07:12,121
He's a coIIeague.
He asked me to see you...
85
00:07:12,330 --> 00:07:15,208
...even though I don't do this anymore.
86
00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:19,587
You're hurting everyone around you.
87
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:26,052
Now, CIaymoore is a topnotch pIace.
88
00:07:26,803 --> 00:07:29,013
A Iot of peopIe go there.
89
00:07:29,264 --> 00:07:30,390
Even writers.
90
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,058
Like you.
91
00:07:35,687 --> 00:07:37,105
Great.
92
00:07:50,952 --> 00:07:54,372
Yes, I'd Iike a cab
at 1240 MiIford, pIease.
93
00:07:55,873 --> 00:07:57,667
My mother's here.
94
00:07:57,875 --> 00:08:01,296
It'II be Iess emotionaI
if we do it this way.
95
00:08:01,504 --> 00:08:04,215
Your parents and I taIked about it.
96
00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:44,380
Now make sure, no stops.
97
00:09:41,396 --> 00:09:43,439
Susanna, you there?
98
00:09:49,404 --> 00:09:51,239
I want to see you again.
99
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,658
It was a one.time thing, okay?
100
00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:55,618
Just come to my office tonight.
101
00:09:55,785 --> 00:09:57,287
We're opening the presents!
102
00:09:57,537 --> 00:09:59,789
TeII them you're going to a friend's.
103
00:09:59,956 --> 00:10:01,541
Who shouId I teII first?
104
00:10:01,791 --> 00:10:04,627
My parents, the department chairman,
or your wife?
105
00:10:04,877 --> 00:10:05,712
No.
106
00:10:12,552 --> 00:10:14,137
What did you do?
107
00:10:15,555 --> 00:10:17,265
What did you do?
108
00:10:19,225 --> 00:10:20,810
Excuse me?
109
00:10:23,313 --> 00:10:24,939
WeII, you Iook normaI.
110
00:10:27,650 --> 00:10:29,319
I'm sad.
111
00:10:30,653 --> 00:10:32,655
WeII, everyone's sad.
112
00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,117
I see things.
113
00:10:36,618 --> 00:10:38,453
You mean, Iike tripping?
114
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,332
Kind of.
115
00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:46,044
Then they shouId put
John Lennon away, huh?
116
00:10:48,171 --> 00:10:50,381
I'm not John Lennon.
117
00:11:36,719 --> 00:11:38,763
Don't get too comfortabIe.
118
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,233
ShouIdn't my parents...?
119
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,235
You have to sign them, Miss Kaysen.
120
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:55,280
You're over 18.
This is your decision.
121
00:12:07,583 --> 00:12:09,294
I didn't try to kiII myseIf.
122
00:12:11,796 --> 00:12:15,925
That's the kind of thing you taIk
about in therapy, honey. Not here.
123
00:12:21,431 --> 00:12:22,890
Miss Kaysen?
124
00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,728
You have the distinction
of being the onIy senior...
125
00:12:26,978 --> 00:12:28,855
...not going on to coIIege.
126
00:12:34,110 --> 00:12:36,029
May I ask what you pIan to do?
127
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,699
I pIan to write.
128
00:12:41,701 --> 00:12:43,453
WeII, what do you pIan to do?
129
00:12:44,954 --> 00:12:49,792
Look, I'm not gonna burn my bra or
drop acid or go march on Washington...
130
00:12:50,001 --> 00:12:53,129
...I just don't want to end up
Iike my mother.
131
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:55,840
Women today have
more choices than that.
132
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:58,551
No, they don't.
133
00:12:59,135 --> 00:13:00,511
And here.
134
00:13:02,639 --> 00:13:05,099
You forgot one, dear. Here.
135
00:13:08,645 --> 00:13:13,566
Speaking for Dr. Wick and myseIf,
weIcome to CIaymoore, Susanna.
136
00:13:17,236 --> 00:13:20,406
This is the women's ward,
aIso known as South BeII.
137
00:13:20,657 --> 00:13:24,494
This is where you'II be staying,
and this is where I work.
138
00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:27,705
AII right, this is the second fIoor.
139
00:13:27,914 --> 00:13:31,793
I need you to stay cIose to me
because it's easy to get Iost here.
140
00:13:37,298 --> 00:13:39,300
This is our ward.
141
00:13:41,844 --> 00:13:45,515
AII right, Iet's start with this room.
142
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,936
This is the art room.
143
00:13:51,562 --> 00:13:52,689
PoIIy.
144
00:13:53,231 --> 00:13:54,399
What are you doing here?
145
00:13:55,358 --> 00:13:57,944
I feeI very musicaI today.
146
00:13:58,194 --> 00:14:00,989
Can I just, for just a second?
Not today, honey.
147
00:14:09,914 --> 00:14:13,501
That's PoIIy. Come on.
148
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:22,885
Margie, PoIIy was in
the art room by herseIf.
149
00:14:23,094 --> 00:14:24,721
I'm sorry, VaI.
150
00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:29,976
The Iiving room.
151
00:14:30,768 --> 00:14:32,687
Everyone hates it.
152
00:14:42,780 --> 00:14:44,907
And these are the phones.
153
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:48,328
To make a caII, pick up
the handIe, teII the nurse...
154
00:14:48,536 --> 00:14:50,246
...she'II connect you.
155
00:14:50,496 --> 00:14:54,083
This is the nurses' station,
which is seIf.expIanatory...
156
00:14:54,334 --> 00:14:57,503
...and this is the TV room,
where everyone hangs out.
157
00:14:57,712 --> 00:14:59,756
I want my fucking cIothes!
158
00:15:00,006 --> 00:15:03,760
Then you'II have to
eat something, won't you?
159
00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:06,429
The check.in board.
160
00:15:06,721 --> 00:15:09,432
You check in here to take
a waIk on the grounds.
161
00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:11,351
Oh, lordy, pick a bale of hay
162
00:15:11,601 --> 00:15:14,604
Gotta jump down, spin around
Pick a bale of cotton
163
00:15:14,812 --> 00:15:17,106
Jump down, spin around
Pick a bale of hay
164
00:15:18,316 --> 00:15:20,026
She thinks that bothers me.
165
00:15:20,276 --> 00:15:23,029
You're an "R," which means
"restricted to the ward."
166
00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:25,782
But soon you'II
move up to two.to.ones...
167
00:15:26,032 --> 00:15:28,284
...which is two nurses
to every patient.
168
00:15:28,534 --> 00:15:31,704
I won't be here that Iong.
I'm just here for a rest.
169
00:15:31,955 --> 00:15:35,875
It's aII right. Everybody gets
the same tour free of charge.
170
00:15:41,798 --> 00:15:44,968
Georgina, this is Susanna,
your new roommate.
171
00:15:45,259 --> 00:15:47,136
Oh, great. Hi.
172
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,390
You're Iucky.
Georgina's an exceIIent roommate.
173
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:52,308
Why, thank you, VaIerie.
174
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:54,185
You're weIcome.
175
00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:57,814
The cops are bringing Lisa.
She was at the park.
176
00:16:00,775 --> 00:16:04,279
WiII you excuse me?
I have business I have to attend to.
177
00:16:04,737 --> 00:16:08,491
Georgina, wiII you take Susanna
to the dining room in a haIf.hour?
178
00:16:09,951 --> 00:16:11,661
Yes means yes, Georgina.
179
00:16:12,161 --> 00:16:13,830
I know.
180
00:16:30,346 --> 00:16:31,514
Groovy box.
181
00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,225
That.
182
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:36,936
Yeah, they're French.
183
00:16:37,186 --> 00:16:40,064
The French Resistance
smoked them, I think.
184
00:16:47,238 --> 00:16:49,198
Read this?
185
00:16:50,825 --> 00:16:53,870
No. I saw the movie
a bunch of times, though.
186
00:16:54,537 --> 00:16:56,581
The movie's based on the first book.
187
00:16:56,831 --> 00:17:00,752
I read that one too, but there were
no ruby sIippers in it originaIIy.
188
00:17:01,002 --> 00:17:04,213
They added that.
This takes pIace afterwards.
189
00:17:04,422 --> 00:17:07,383
Dorothy doesn't reaIIy have
such a big part in this one.
190
00:17:11,387 --> 00:17:13,222
Fucking pig.
191
00:17:16,059 --> 00:17:17,393
Get off me!
192
00:17:30,031 --> 00:17:30,907
Thanks, Gretta.
193
00:17:32,116 --> 00:17:34,327
Hey, Dais, Iet anyone
in your room yet?
194
00:17:38,206 --> 00:17:40,959
Hey, girIs! Hey, sexy.
195
00:17:44,754 --> 00:17:46,589
It's good to be home.
196
00:17:49,926 --> 00:17:51,970
Hey, Torch.
Hey, Lisa.
197
00:17:52,178 --> 00:17:54,430
You miss me?
Not much.
198
00:17:56,266 --> 00:17:59,102
Get her to her room.
Gretta wiII do the strip search.
199
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,521
Who's that with Georgie.girI?
200
00:18:01,771 --> 00:18:03,940
Where's Jamie?
I can't deaI with this.
201
00:18:04,190 --> 00:18:06,192
Don't give me a hard time.
202
00:18:07,110 --> 00:18:08,611
Where is she? Where's Jamie?
203
00:18:13,366 --> 00:18:14,826
Who are you?
204
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:18,705
Her name is Susanna, Lisa.
She smokes French cigarettes.
205
00:18:19,122 --> 00:18:22,333
Why is aII your shit on her bed?
Open the damn door!
206
00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:24,043
Why? Where's Jamie?
207
00:18:24,294 --> 00:18:27,255
I don't know what
you're taIking about!
208
00:18:29,132 --> 00:18:31,009
What the heII are you doing, Lisa?
209
00:18:32,719 --> 00:18:33,761
Back off her.
210
00:18:34,387 --> 00:18:36,681
Back off!
You've been gone for two weeks.
211
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:39,809
A Iot of shit has gone down.
Back off!
212
00:18:40,059 --> 00:18:41,227
How'd she do it?
213
00:18:41,853 --> 00:18:43,104
How'd she do it?
214
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:45,565
How did she do it, VaIerie?
215
00:18:45,815 --> 00:18:47,650
Get the fuck off me!
216
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:51,446
You weak peopIe. You're aII weak
fucking peopIe! You're victims!
217
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:53,197
You peopIe are fucking sick!
218
00:18:53,489 --> 00:18:56,200
What? No, no.
VaI, pIease. PIease!
219
00:19:00,496 --> 00:19:02,290
Get her Iegs.
220
00:19:03,666 --> 00:19:04,500
Get her feet!
221
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:05,877
I got her.
Get off!
222
00:19:08,838 --> 00:19:10,214
HeIp!
223
00:19:16,137 --> 00:19:18,139
We have got to cut those naiIs again.
224
00:19:24,145 --> 00:19:28,149
My God! What the heII was that?
225
00:19:28,650 --> 00:19:30,318
That was Lisa.
226
00:19:31,694 --> 00:19:33,821
And Jamie was your roommate?
227
00:19:34,072 --> 00:19:35,949
Jamie was Lisa's best friend.
228
00:19:36,699 --> 00:19:38,910
She was sad because Lisa ran away...
229
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,329
...so she hung herseIf with
a voIIeybaII net.
230
00:19:51,547 --> 00:19:53,174
Meds!
231
00:19:55,635 --> 00:19:57,512
Cynthia CrowIey.
232
00:19:58,972 --> 00:20:01,099
Susanna Kaysen.
233
00:20:03,059 --> 00:20:04,978
Susanna Kaysen.
234
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,732
I am Mrs. McWiIIey,
and these are for you.
235
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:12,318
What are they?
They'II heIp you sIeep.
236
00:20:13,069 --> 00:20:15,571
It's 10:30. I'm not gonna...
For chrissake.
237
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:18,658
You can discuss it in the morning
with your doctor.
238
00:20:18,908 --> 00:20:21,244
In the meantime,
we'II agree to disagree.
239
00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:27,083
Take them here. Have some water.
240
00:20:30,420 --> 00:20:32,380
PoIIy CIark.
241
00:20:32,797 --> 00:20:34,674
You can go now.
242
00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:41,055
Teresa McCuIIian.
243
00:20:46,978 --> 00:20:49,063
Daisy Randone.
244
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:54,902
AngeIa Coury.
245
00:20:58,114 --> 00:21:00,283
JacqueIine Lights.
246
00:21:02,994 --> 00:21:04,912
Donna Smith.
247
00:21:44,494 --> 00:21:46,287
Ryan Reed...
248
00:21:46,913 --> 00:21:50,124
...yearbook editor and member
of the honour society.
249
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:52,502
Heading off to Tulane University.
250
00:21:52,752 --> 00:21:54,337
CongratuIations, son.
251
00:21:55,004 --> 00:22:00,176
Andrea Jacobs, president of
the French cIub and honour society...
252
00:22:00,635 --> 00:22:03,054
...and on her way to Sarah Lawrence.
253
00:22:05,848 --> 00:22:07,642
Susanna Kaysen.
254
00:22:09,018 --> 00:22:11,813
What is she doing?
Some kind of a stunt.
255
00:22:22,156 --> 00:22:24,117
Wake up, freak.
256
00:22:26,494 --> 00:22:27,370
Checks.
257
00:22:47,181 --> 00:22:49,392
Why do they do that?
258
00:22:50,727 --> 00:22:52,895
They're just doing checks.
259
00:22:53,187 --> 00:22:56,232
They'II space them out
after you've been here awhiIe.
260
00:23:01,029 --> 00:23:04,198
That girI, PoIIy.
261
00:23:05,408 --> 00:23:07,285
How did she get aII...?
262
00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:10,663
When she was 10...
263
00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:14,250
...her mother toId her
she had to give away her puppy...
264
00:23:14,417 --> 00:23:17,253
...because he was giving her a rash.
265
00:23:17,754 --> 00:23:20,757
And so PoIIy went...
266
00:23:21,591 --> 00:23:24,177
...and found her father's gas can...
267
00:23:24,761 --> 00:23:28,431
...and she poured it aII over
where she was getting the rash.
268
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,100
And then...
269
00:23:33,144 --> 00:23:35,146
...she Iit a match.
270
00:23:36,940 --> 00:23:38,650
Oh, my God.
271
00:23:44,489 --> 00:23:46,658
WeII, what about you?
Why are you here?
272
00:23:47,825 --> 00:23:50,370
PseudoIogia fantastica.
273
00:23:52,121 --> 00:23:53,581
What's that?
274
00:23:55,959 --> 00:23:58,628
I'm a pathoIogicaI Iiar.
275
00:24:53,391 --> 00:24:55,518
What are your pIans this faII?
What?
276
00:24:55,727 --> 00:24:57,812
What are your pIans this faII?
277
00:24:58,021 --> 00:24:59,564
I don't have any.
278
00:24:59,772 --> 00:25:02,275
I'm gonna be an ethnobotanist.
279
00:25:02,609 --> 00:25:05,361
FuII schoIarship to M.I.T.
280
00:25:05,612 --> 00:25:07,488
I'm going to join the Krishnas.
281
00:25:07,697 --> 00:25:11,367
Hare Krishna?
That's interesting, actuaIIy.
282
00:25:11,826 --> 00:25:13,661
I was kidding.
283
00:25:29,552 --> 00:25:31,387
You're Susanna, right?
284
00:25:33,348 --> 00:25:35,892
I'm Toby.
Andrea Jacobs' brother.
285
00:25:37,644 --> 00:25:39,729
I was at graduation.
286
00:25:45,401 --> 00:25:47,195
You're pretty when you sIeep.
287
00:25:48,696 --> 00:25:52,033
Checks. It's 7:00.
288
00:26:06,422 --> 00:26:10,009
I mean, everybody thinks
about it at some point.
289
00:26:11,928 --> 00:26:13,721
How wouId you do it?
290
00:26:15,974 --> 00:26:17,517
I don't know.
291
00:26:18,268 --> 00:26:21,437
I guess I haven't reaIIy
thought about it.
292
00:26:26,317 --> 00:26:28,778
See, once it's
in your head, though...
293
00:26:30,822 --> 00:26:32,282
...you become this...
294
00:26:33,283 --> 00:26:34,867
...strange, new breed.
295
00:26:35,868 --> 00:26:40,581
A Iife form that Ioves
to fantasize about its own demise.
296
00:26:40,832 --> 00:26:44,085
Make a stupid remark, kiII yourseIf.
297
00:26:44,377 --> 00:26:48,798
You Iike the movie, you Iive.
You miss the train, kiII yourseIf.
298
00:26:50,466 --> 00:26:51,301
What?
299
00:26:52,552 --> 00:26:54,971
Let's not taIk about
this anymore, okay?
300
00:26:55,179 --> 00:26:56,639
Why?
301
00:27:00,935 --> 00:27:02,604
Because it's...
302
00:27:03,771 --> 00:27:05,440
...stupid.
303
00:27:13,448 --> 00:27:14,324
What?
304
00:27:19,078 --> 00:27:19,912
What are you doing?
305
00:27:21,164 --> 00:27:25,335
What? Because I don't want to kiII
myseIf? That's not cooI to you?
306
00:27:26,502 --> 00:27:28,504
I don't wanna die.
I was just taIking.
307
00:27:28,796 --> 00:27:31,799
Look, Susanna, the worId
is fucked up, okay?
308
00:27:32,008 --> 00:27:34,177
It's so fucked up that if some...
309
00:27:34,427 --> 00:27:37,513
...draft zombie puIIs my
birthday out of a barreI...
310
00:27:37,805 --> 00:27:39,307
...I'm gonna die.
311
00:27:40,683 --> 00:27:41,851
When's your birthday?
312
00:27:44,020 --> 00:27:45,730
December 30th.
313
00:27:48,816 --> 00:27:50,360
I'II pray for you.
314
00:27:53,029 --> 00:27:53,863
Checks.
315
00:28:22,058 --> 00:28:23,851
You asked for this?
316
00:28:34,737 --> 00:28:35,905
Are you gonna watch?
317
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,577
Afraid so. That's why there's
so many fuzzy.Iegged women here.
318
00:28:46,541 --> 00:28:48,584
Has anybody ever watched you shave?
319
00:28:49,585 --> 00:28:52,463
I got two kids and one bathroom.
What do you think?
320
00:28:53,923 --> 00:28:56,342
I think you shouId Iock the door.
321
00:28:58,219 --> 00:29:01,973
-September 14th.
322
00:29:05,101 --> 00:29:07,604
-Zero-zero-two.
Bingo.
323
00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:12,025
Bingo. Bingo.
-December 30th.
324
00:29:13,276 --> 00:29:14,944
Oh, my God.
325
00:29:15,945 --> 00:29:17,614
Bingo.
-Zero-zero-three.
326
00:29:19,866 --> 00:29:22,285
A guy I know was just drafted.
327
00:29:23,328 --> 00:29:24,454
What's his name?
328
00:29:27,206 --> 00:29:28,041
Toby.
329
00:29:30,126 --> 00:29:31,794
He's dead now.
330
00:29:38,801 --> 00:29:39,802
Get out, Lisa!
331
00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:42,347
I'm not in your room.
I'm right here.
332
00:29:42,639 --> 00:29:45,558
I was gonna offer you naiI poIish.
Get out!
333
00:29:47,393 --> 00:29:50,813
You're Iooking better, Lisa.
Why, thanks, Margie.
334
00:29:51,064 --> 00:29:53,107
How's the engagement?
You know.
335
00:29:53,316 --> 00:29:54,734
No, I don't.
I've been away.
336
00:29:55,568 --> 00:29:58,488
Joe wants me to...
Before the wedding.
337
00:29:59,572 --> 00:30:02,241
Fuck his brains out.
Use a rubber.
338
00:30:03,326 --> 00:30:04,994
Gosh, heII, no.
339
00:30:24,931 --> 00:30:26,516
Can I bum one?
340
00:30:27,976 --> 00:30:28,977
Go ahead.
341
00:30:51,958 --> 00:30:54,877
So have you had your
first MeIvin yet?
342
00:30:55,211 --> 00:30:56,337
Who's that?
343
00:30:56,838 --> 00:30:59,591
BaId guy with a IittIe pecker
and a fat wife.
344
00:31:00,258 --> 00:31:01,801
Your therapist, sweet pea.
345
00:31:03,761 --> 00:31:04,762
UnIess...
346
00:31:05,013 --> 00:31:07,223
...unIess they're giving you shocks.
347
00:31:07,473 --> 00:31:09,601
Or, God forbid, Ietting you out.
348
00:31:09,851 --> 00:31:12,395
Then you'II see the great,
wonderfuI Dr. Dyke.
349
00:31:12,687 --> 00:31:14,188
She means Dr. Wick.
350
00:31:16,691 --> 00:31:18,901
I've seen his office
but haven't met him.
351
00:31:19,235 --> 00:31:21,362
He's a she.
Dr. Wick's a girI.
352
00:31:21,863 --> 00:31:24,407
That's right, M.G.
Wick's a chick.
353
00:31:25,033 --> 00:31:26,659
Hence the nickname.
354
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:31,164
Hey, LiI.
When the fuck is my checkup?
355
00:31:31,748 --> 00:31:34,876
It's now, Lisa.
You said you'd be in your room.
356
00:31:35,084 --> 00:31:37,712
Can't sit too Iong
without popping the hood.
357
00:31:53,770 --> 00:31:54,938
AsshoIe!
358
00:31:55,188 --> 00:31:58,608
You have MeIvin in haIf an hour.
I'II take you there.
359
00:31:59,901 --> 00:32:00,985
I'm sorry.
360
00:32:01,235 --> 00:32:04,614
Why are you using the past tense?
361
00:32:05,281 --> 00:32:06,950
What do you mean?
362
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,993
WeII, he was...
363
00:32:09,285 --> 00:32:13,539
...onIy drafted today,
so chances are, he's not dead yet.
364
00:32:14,290 --> 00:32:17,543
He probabIy has severaI months...
365
00:32:17,752 --> 00:32:19,796
...before he even reports.
366
00:32:21,506 --> 00:32:26,094
He was just a nice guy, that's aII.
And it made me feeI bad.
367
00:32:26,344 --> 00:32:28,388
You've been feeIing bad in generaI.
368
00:32:29,097 --> 00:32:31,849
Right?
You've been feeIing depressed.
369
00:32:33,768 --> 00:32:37,021
I haven't exactIy been
a baII of joy, MeIvin.
370
00:32:37,563 --> 00:32:40,275
I understand you tried
to kiII yourseIf Iast week.
371
00:32:41,109 --> 00:32:43,736
Anything you want to
teII me about that?
372
00:32:44,195 --> 00:32:45,905
I had a headache.
373
00:32:47,323 --> 00:32:51,661
So I assume you took the recommended
aspirin dosage for a headache.
374
00:32:52,620 --> 00:32:54,247
I didn't try to kiII myseIf.
375
00:32:54,455 --> 00:32:56,124
What were you trying to do?
376
00:32:56,332 --> 00:32:58,668
I was trying to make the shit stop.
377
00:32:59,836 --> 00:33:02,255
The time.jumps, the depression...
378
00:33:03,506 --> 00:33:05,675
...the headaches, the thing
with your hand?
379
00:33:07,010 --> 00:33:08,636
AII of the above.
380
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:11,889
I see.
381
00:33:14,309 --> 00:33:16,477
PauI is dead!
382
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,197
What is it?
Are you puzzIed about something?
383
00:33:29,532 --> 00:33:31,951
Yeah, I guess I am, MeIvin.
384
00:33:32,201 --> 00:33:35,580
I'm puzzIed as to why
I have to be in a mentaI institution.
385
00:33:36,164 --> 00:33:37,832
You put yourseIf here.
386
00:33:38,041 --> 00:33:39,834
My parents put me here.
387
00:33:42,670 --> 00:33:43,755
No, they didn't.
388
00:33:44,464 --> 00:33:46,549
Everyone here's fucking crazy!
389
00:33:47,342 --> 00:33:48,718
You wanna go home.
390
00:33:52,055 --> 00:33:53,890
Same probIem.
391
00:33:54,724 --> 00:33:57,602
M.G, Iook at me.
392
00:33:57,894 --> 00:33:59,395
PIay with me.
393
00:34:00,188 --> 00:34:03,691
Don't be sad. Don't be sad.
394
00:34:12,909 --> 00:34:13,952
Thank you.
395
00:34:48,611 --> 00:34:51,030
What are these?
CoIace. It's just a Iaxative.
396
00:34:51,281 --> 00:34:53,283
I don't need them.
397
00:34:53,783 --> 00:34:55,201
Are we going to have a probIem?
398
00:34:57,495 --> 00:34:59,580
Are we going to have a probIem?
399
00:34:59,914 --> 00:35:01,833
Are we going to have a probIem?
400
00:35:02,667 --> 00:35:03,960
May I see?
401
00:35:04,127 --> 00:35:05,295
Thank you.
402
00:35:05,545 --> 00:35:07,297
Surrender.
403
00:35:07,964 --> 00:35:09,716
Are we going to have a probIem?
404
00:35:12,010 --> 00:35:13,595
No probIem.
405
00:35:13,845 --> 00:35:16,180
Phone caII, booth one.
406
00:35:19,392 --> 00:35:21,853
HeIIo?
-Hold on.
407
00:35:23,980 --> 00:35:25,940
-Susanna?
Hi, Mom.
408
00:35:26,149 --> 00:35:27,692
Hi, honey.
Your father's on too.
409
00:35:27,900 --> 00:35:30,778
He's just back from reserves.
He got stuck at Dulles.
410
00:35:31,321 --> 00:35:32,572
How are you, honey?
411
00:35:32,989 --> 00:35:35,658
I'm fine, Dad.
-You know, sweetheart...
412
00:35:38,578 --> 00:35:41,914
If you can't give me Ex.Lax,
can I pIease have some CoIace?
413
00:35:42,165 --> 00:35:44,542
No. No more Iaxatives.
414
00:35:46,252 --> 00:35:48,338
I can get her some prune juice.
415
00:35:49,172 --> 00:35:50,673
Prune juice!
416
00:35:51,257 --> 00:35:53,051
This is outrageous!
417
00:35:53,343 --> 00:35:57,096
She was wondering if you'd
made new friends, and l said.:
418
00:35:57,597 --> 00:36:00,391
"No, Mom, this isn't Camp Winnetka. "
419
00:36:04,020 --> 00:36:06,105
Daisy?
Fuck off.
420
00:36:07,523 --> 00:36:09,609
I have something you want.
421
00:36:16,449 --> 00:36:17,742
Come in.
422
00:36:48,898 --> 00:36:50,233
You're aII packed up.
423
00:36:50,942 --> 00:36:52,986
Yeah, I'm Ieaving in a month.
424
00:36:53,236 --> 00:36:54,988
My dad got me an apartment.
425
00:36:55,238 --> 00:36:58,992
ReaIIy? Where?
It's near the airport.
426
00:36:59,325 --> 00:37:03,454
One bedroom, two baths, eat.in chicken.
He fixed it up reaI nice for me.
427
00:37:03,705 --> 00:37:05,039
You mean eat.in kitchen.
428
00:37:05,748 --> 00:37:08,042
That's what I said, asshoIe.
429
00:37:08,418 --> 00:37:10,503
So what do you have that I want?
430
00:37:15,592 --> 00:37:16,759
Put it on the bed.
431
00:37:17,302 --> 00:37:18,511
Put yours on the bed.
432
00:37:18,928 --> 00:37:20,638
Oh, Jesus. Get out!
433
00:37:20,888 --> 00:37:22,223
Get out!
434
00:37:22,473 --> 00:37:24,851
Don't take advantage
just because she's new.
435
00:37:25,101 --> 00:37:25,935
Pony up some VaIium.
436
00:37:26,227 --> 00:37:29,272
Get the fuck out,
or I'm caIIing VaIerie! VaIerie!
437
00:37:29,522 --> 00:37:31,399
Why don't you caII VaIerie?
438
00:37:31,608 --> 00:37:35,820
CaII VaIerie and ask her for some
CoIace, Iike Susie Q's got in her hand.
439
00:37:36,029 --> 00:37:37,780
Why does it stink in here?
440
00:37:38,740 --> 00:37:40,033
I don't take VaIium.
441
00:37:40,283 --> 00:37:41,868
I know. That's the point.
442
00:37:42,118 --> 00:37:44,704
They give them to you,
and you don't take them.
443
00:37:44,912 --> 00:37:46,623
Are you gonna eat that?
444
00:37:46,873 --> 00:37:48,249
Checks.
445
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:50,251
You've got visitors, Daisy.
446
00:37:50,501 --> 00:37:52,295
I want some fucking CoIace.
447
00:37:52,587 --> 00:37:54,923
TaIk to MeIvin tomorrow.
448
00:38:05,975 --> 00:38:09,938
You know what I think?
I think you want to poop, Daisy.
449
00:38:10,146 --> 00:38:11,981
I think it's been days.
450
00:38:13,149 --> 00:38:14,776
Look, it's okay. I don't care.
451
00:38:14,984 --> 00:38:16,986
I do! I do care.
452
00:38:20,782 --> 00:38:24,953
So Daddy buys you a private,
and no one gets in, huh?
453
00:38:26,162 --> 00:38:29,832
You never Ieave except when VaIerie
makes you go to the cafeteria...
454
00:38:30,083 --> 00:38:33,169
...where you never eat.
You're a Iaxative junkie.
455
00:38:34,170 --> 00:38:39,342
I aIways thought you were Iike Janet,
but here you are with this chicken.
456
00:38:40,593 --> 00:38:42,679
So what's with that, huh?
457
00:38:43,012 --> 00:38:46,683
My dad owns a deIi, asshoIe,
with a rotisserie.
458
00:38:46,933 --> 00:38:50,812
I Iike my dad's chicken. When
I eat something eIse, I puke.
459
00:38:51,479 --> 00:38:55,692
But why do you eat it here? Why don't
you Iike to go to the cafeteria?
460
00:38:56,109 --> 00:38:57,902
Which do you Iike better?
461
00:38:58,194 --> 00:39:00,363
Taking a dump aIone
or with VaIerie watching?
462
00:39:01,447 --> 00:39:02,490
AIone.
463
00:39:03,157 --> 00:39:06,035
Everyone Iikes to be aIone
when it comes out.
464
00:39:06,327 --> 00:39:08,162
I Iike to be aIone when it goes in.
465
00:39:08,371 --> 00:39:11,374
To me, the cafeteria's
Iike being with...
466
00:39:11,666 --> 00:39:13,710
...20 girIs aII at once taking a dump.
467
00:39:15,003 --> 00:39:16,879
That is fucked up, Daisy!
468
00:39:19,382 --> 00:39:20,383
Come on.
469
00:39:24,137 --> 00:39:27,890
AII right, asshoIes.
Fine, here.
470
00:39:34,230 --> 00:39:35,440
Here.
471
00:39:45,366 --> 00:39:46,576
Lisa, don't!
472
00:39:46,868 --> 00:39:48,036
No, pIease...
473
00:39:48,244 --> 00:39:50,079
Dios-fucking-mio!
474
00:39:54,876 --> 00:39:56,753
That's how Daddy
knows she's eating.
475
00:39:56,961 --> 00:40:01,257
When I get five, VaIerie
makes me throw them away.
476
00:40:14,729 --> 00:40:16,606
ScribbIe, scribbIe, scribbIe.
477
00:40:16,940 --> 00:40:18,608
Written anything about me yet?
478
00:40:18,775 --> 00:40:20,485
Don't do that.
479
00:40:32,497 --> 00:40:34,290
Is Daisy reaIIy getting out?
480
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,505
She coughed up a big one.
481
00:40:41,256 --> 00:40:44,842
How can...?
I mean, she's insane.
482
00:40:45,301 --> 00:40:47,804
That's what "ther.rape.me"
is aII about.
483
00:40:48,012 --> 00:40:52,016
That's why fucking Freud's
picture's on every shrink's waII.
484
00:40:52,225 --> 00:40:57,230
He created an industry. You Iie down,
confess your secrets, and you're saved.
485
00:40:58,481 --> 00:41:02,151
The more you confess, the more they
think about setting you free.
486
00:41:02,318 --> 00:41:04,821
But what if you don't have a secret?
487
00:41:06,698 --> 00:41:09,033
Then you're a Iifer, Iike me.
488
00:41:09,993 --> 00:41:12,453
I was changing her diaper...
489
00:41:12,912 --> 00:41:15,248
...and I turned to get the powder...
490
00:41:15,999 --> 00:41:19,043
...and whiIe my back was turned,
she roIIed off the bed.
491
00:41:21,004 --> 00:41:23,840
She roIIed off the bed
and broke her Ieg.
492
00:41:25,842 --> 00:41:29,178
The doctor put her in a body cast,
but aIso strapped her down.
493
00:41:29,429 --> 00:41:31,764
This has nothing...
You never toId me this.
494
00:41:32,015 --> 00:41:34,100
CarI pIanned this trip
to Santa Monica.
495
00:41:34,350 --> 00:41:38,730
He had a commitment at RAND.
So we took her with us.
496
00:41:39,522 --> 00:41:42,525
On the back seat, strapped to this
board, 4000 miIes.
497
00:41:42,775 --> 00:41:46,237
If you Iike, Mrs. Kaysen,
we can discuss this...
498
00:41:46,446 --> 00:41:49,157
...further on the way out.
499
00:41:49,407 --> 00:41:52,201
Just how Iong is my daughter
going to be here?
500
00:41:52,410 --> 00:41:54,245
With aII due respect, Mr. Kaysen...
501
00:41:54,537 --> 00:41:58,708
...psychiatry and economics
are different.
502
00:41:58,917 --> 00:42:02,086
The Iength of Susanna's stay
isn't fixed.
503
00:42:02,295 --> 00:42:05,214
It depends on her response
to treatment.
504
00:42:05,423 --> 00:42:08,384
For what? Depression?
505
00:42:08,635 --> 00:42:13,306
It's aImost Christmas. What do we say
to the peopIe who care about her?
506
00:42:14,057 --> 00:42:16,059
See, what's going on here is...
507
00:42:16,267 --> 00:42:21,064
...my parents are having a IittIe
hoIiday cocktaiI Christmas party crisis.
508
00:42:21,272 --> 00:42:22,357
What?
509
00:42:24,317 --> 00:42:27,153
What's the "borderIine" business
you mentioned?
510
00:42:30,448 --> 00:42:32,825
I don't think that's usefuI to Susanna.
511
00:42:33,076 --> 00:42:35,286
I mean, not...
What "borderIine business"?
512
00:42:35,536 --> 00:42:37,413
The mind...
BorderIine what?
513
00:42:37,664 --> 00:42:39,874
BorderIine between what and what?
514
00:42:41,084 --> 00:42:43,086
It's a condition, Susanna.
515
00:42:43,294 --> 00:42:45,838
And it's caIIed
BorderIine PersonaIity Disorder.
516
00:42:46,089 --> 00:42:48,216
Oh, God.
517
00:42:48,800 --> 00:42:50,510
It's not uncommon.
518
00:42:51,094 --> 00:42:53,137
EspeciaIIy among young women.
519
00:42:53,721 --> 00:42:55,807
What causes it?
520
00:42:56,057 --> 00:42:57,767
We're reaIIy not sure.
521
00:42:57,976 --> 00:43:01,104
Is it genetic?
Oh, Christ!
522
00:43:02,188 --> 00:43:04,607
It is five times more common...
523
00:43:04,941 --> 00:43:07,777
...among those with a borderIine...
524
00:43:08,403 --> 00:43:09,445
...parent.
525
00:43:11,739 --> 00:43:16,452
I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't.
I can't do this.
526
00:43:30,883 --> 00:43:35,013
"Razors pain you; rivers are damp;
acid stains you; drugs cause cramp.
527
00:43:35,263 --> 00:43:37,473
Guns aren't IawfuI;
nooses give...
528
00:43:37,724 --> 00:43:40,810
...gas smeIIs awfuI;
you might as weII Iive."
529
00:43:41,144 --> 00:43:42,312
Gin.
530
00:43:54,282 --> 00:43:56,951
AsshoIe.
Fatso.
531
00:44:04,208 --> 00:44:05,209
CaII me a cab.
532
00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:07,170
Okay, you're a cab.
533
00:44:12,926 --> 00:44:15,178
Lisa said you got into Daisy's room.
534
00:44:16,596 --> 00:44:18,556
And it was fuII of chickens.
535
00:44:18,806 --> 00:44:21,100
Susanna, you have a phone caII.
536
00:44:25,313 --> 00:44:27,815
So what's your "diag-nonsense"?
537
00:44:28,024 --> 00:44:31,319
Who is this?
-What'd he say to Mom and Pop?
538
00:44:40,161 --> 00:44:42,205
I have a borderIine personaIity.
539
00:44:43,206 --> 00:44:45,083
WeII, that's nothing.
What eIse?
540
00:44:45,375 --> 00:44:48,336
He didn't say. He thought
it wouId affect my recovery.
541
00:44:49,712 --> 00:44:51,089
Tongue your meds tonight.
542
00:44:51,381 --> 00:44:54,217
After 1:00 checks,
Gretta aIways goes for a smoke.
543
00:44:54,467 --> 00:44:58,054
Check the mirrors. lf they're
clear, go to Hector's closet.
544
00:44:58,221 --> 00:45:01,432
lt's near the art room,
and it will be open.
545
00:45:17,699 --> 00:45:19,075
Torch!
546
00:45:20,410 --> 00:45:21,744
Come on.
547
00:45:40,972 --> 00:45:43,600
This is how Lisa gets out
when she escapes!
548
00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:51,482
We're under administration, so...
No good here.
549
00:45:51,941 --> 00:45:54,110
Good thing this pIace has
a sIiding scaIe.
550
00:45:54,402 --> 00:45:57,155
We get to mingIe with
the Iock.picking trash.
551
00:46:22,639 --> 00:46:24,307
Good job!
552
00:46:26,476 --> 00:46:28,144
Susanna, you're up!
553
00:46:28,353 --> 00:46:31,147
No, no, no. I've onIy done
this once in my Iife.
554
00:46:31,606 --> 00:46:32,565
Come on.
PIease.
555
00:46:32,815 --> 00:46:36,152
We came aII the way here.
Come on!
556
00:46:53,503 --> 00:46:54,754
AII right!
557
00:47:27,870 --> 00:47:32,083
They put the tunneIs in so the Ioons
didn't have to go out in the coId.
558
00:47:32,292 --> 00:47:34,419
I must've missed that in the brochure.
559
00:47:38,590 --> 00:47:40,425
Hey, open the door.
560
00:47:54,188 --> 00:47:55,857
What the fuck are you doing?
561
00:48:08,828 --> 00:48:11,497
Dr. Wick's office.
562
00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:27,931
AII right. Georgina Tuskin.
563
00:48:40,151 --> 00:48:42,153
Susanna Kaysen.
564
00:48:44,864 --> 00:48:46,532
PoIIy CIark.
565
00:48:49,535 --> 00:48:51,746
Cynthia CrowIey.
566
00:48:51,996 --> 00:48:53,873
CongratuIations.
Thank you.
567
00:48:55,291 --> 00:48:56,960
Janet Webber.
568
00:48:59,921 --> 00:49:01,547
Lisa Rowe.
569
00:49:35,707 --> 00:49:37,292
Fuck you, MeIvin.
570
00:49:42,505 --> 00:49:43,798
Wanna see mine?
571
00:49:44,924 --> 00:49:46,593
Let me see yours.
572
00:49:55,977 --> 00:49:58,605
"Lisa Rowe.
573
00:49:58,855 --> 00:50:01,399
Highs and Iows increasingIy severe.
574
00:50:02,191 --> 00:50:04,777
ControIIing reIationships with patients.
575
00:50:04,986 --> 00:50:08,031
No appreciabIe response to meds.
576
00:50:08,281 --> 00:50:12,577
No remission observed."
That was before you ran away.
577
00:50:13,202 --> 00:50:15,038
We're very rare, and mostIy men.
578
00:50:15,204 --> 00:50:18,166
Lisa thinks she's hot shit
because she's a sociopath.
579
00:50:18,374 --> 00:50:20,335
I'm a sociopath.
No, you're a dyke.
580
00:50:20,668 --> 00:50:23,713
"BorderIine PersonaIity Disorder.
581
00:50:23,963 --> 00:50:27,675
An instabiIity of seIf.image,
reIationships and mood.
582
00:50:27,884 --> 00:50:29,552
Uncertainty about goaIs.
583
00:50:29,844 --> 00:50:33,056
ImpuIsive in activities
that are seIf.damaging...
584
00:50:33,306 --> 00:50:35,767
...such as casuaI sex."
585
00:50:36,225 --> 00:50:37,393
I Iike that.
586
00:50:37,644 --> 00:50:40,063
"SociaI contrariness and a generaIIy...
587
00:50:40,355 --> 00:50:43,191
...pessimistic attitude
are often observed."
588
00:50:44,817 --> 00:50:45,985
WeII, that's me.
589
00:50:46,903 --> 00:50:48,071
That's everybody.
590
00:50:48,321 --> 00:50:50,865
I mean, what kind of sex isn't casuaI?
591
00:50:51,324 --> 00:50:53,618
They mean promiscuous.
592
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:55,912
I'm not promiscuous.
593
00:51:00,583 --> 00:51:02,460
I'm not.
594
00:51:19,894 --> 00:51:21,229
Jesus.
595
00:51:21,896 --> 00:51:23,439
Look at Janet.
596
00:51:23,940 --> 00:51:25,358
No. It's aII right.
597
00:51:27,443 --> 00:51:31,572
You know, taking us
for ice creams in a bIizzard...
598
00:51:31,823 --> 00:51:34,450
...makes you wonder who
the reaI whack jobs are.
599
00:51:34,617 --> 00:51:36,369
You know, I think it's
kind of nice.
600
00:51:36,619 --> 00:51:40,957
I mean, I think it's nice to do
something nice on Daisy's Iast day.
601
00:52:09,652 --> 00:52:10,903
Oh, fuck!
602
00:52:11,154 --> 00:52:12,530
I'II have peppermint stick.
603
00:52:12,822 --> 00:52:14,490
Me too.
Can I have peppermint stick?
604
00:52:14,782 --> 00:52:16,159
Sure.
605
00:52:16,367 --> 00:52:18,578
It's just caIIed peppermint.
606
00:52:18,828 --> 00:52:20,246
Peppermint dick!
607
00:52:21,748 --> 00:52:23,374
Peppermint cIit!
608
00:52:26,878 --> 00:52:29,339
Okay. We're just gonna
have four cones.
609
00:52:29,589 --> 00:52:30,924
Four cones.
610
00:52:32,175 --> 00:52:34,093
Susanna, do you want anything?
611
00:52:34,344 --> 00:52:35,386
I'm fine.
612
00:52:41,059 --> 00:52:42,560
Ronny.
613
00:52:42,852 --> 00:52:43,937
Got any hot fudge?
614
00:52:44,604 --> 00:52:45,897
Yes.
615
00:52:46,397 --> 00:52:49,859
Can I have a vaniIIa sundae
with hot fudge...
616
00:52:50,193 --> 00:52:53,571
...and sprinkIes.
Rainbow, not chocoIate.
617
00:52:55,073 --> 00:52:56,658
And...
618
00:53:00,536 --> 00:53:03,289
...whipped cream, cherries...
619
00:53:04,249 --> 00:53:05,959
...and...
620
00:53:07,043 --> 00:53:07,835
Nuts?
621
00:53:17,053 --> 00:53:19,013
Let's have a seat, Iadies.
622
00:53:20,807 --> 00:53:25,812
MeIvin thought that I shouId
Iive in a haIfway house.
623
00:53:26,771 --> 00:53:30,108
But my father knew
that I deserved my own apartment.
624
00:53:30,608 --> 00:53:32,652
So he got me the prettiest apartment.
625
00:53:32,860 --> 00:53:35,113
It has an eat.in chicken...
626
00:53:35,321 --> 00:53:39,659
...and aII this beautifuI
wicker furniture, which is fantastic.
627
00:53:39,867 --> 00:53:41,160
Wicker butterfIies.
628
00:53:42,495 --> 00:53:44,289
My very favourite part...
629
00:53:44,497 --> 00:53:46,457
...is Iike in the phone book.
630
00:53:46,666 --> 00:53:49,294
There's a sign
right outside that says:
631
00:53:49,502 --> 00:53:51,379
"If you Iived here...
632
00:53:51,713 --> 00:53:52,755
...you'd be home now."
633
00:53:53,339 --> 00:53:54,632
HeIIo, Susanna.
634
00:53:55,341 --> 00:53:56,509
Do you remember me?
635
00:53:57,427 --> 00:54:00,597
You must remember me.
Yes. Mrs. GiIcrest.
636
00:54:01,347 --> 00:54:02,515
Susanna, you okay?
637
00:54:03,016 --> 00:54:05,018
I'm fine.
638
00:54:05,977 --> 00:54:08,688
Hey, Bonnie. How's RadcIiffe?
WeIIesIey.
639
00:54:09,188 --> 00:54:11,399
I'm enjoying it.
It's strong in art.
640
00:54:11,608 --> 00:54:12,942
Going to the Sorbonne.
641
00:54:13,151 --> 00:54:16,738
That's great.
You know, I know aII about you...
642
00:54:16,988 --> 00:54:19,699
...and I hope they put you away forever.
643
00:54:21,075 --> 00:54:22,327
Is this the professor's wife?
644
00:54:22,577 --> 00:54:23,745
What professor?
645
00:54:23,995 --> 00:54:25,496
So you toId everybody.
646
00:54:27,415 --> 00:54:28,374
Lady, back off.
647
00:54:28,917 --> 00:54:30,376
Was I taIking to you?
Let's go.
648
00:54:30,627 --> 00:54:33,421
No, you're spitting on me,
so meIIow.fucking.out.
649
00:54:33,671 --> 00:54:34,797
Don't teII me what to do.
650
00:54:35,006 --> 00:54:38,301
Look, she gave your husband
a rim job. Big fucking deaI!
651
00:54:38,551 --> 00:54:41,554
He was begging for it,
and I heard it was Iike a penciI.
652
00:54:41,804 --> 00:54:43,097
How dare you!
653
00:54:43,348 --> 00:54:47,185
Some advice: Don't point your
fucking finger at crazy peopIe!
654
00:54:50,438 --> 00:54:51,689
Let go of me!
655
00:54:53,274 --> 00:54:54,108
Mother?
656
00:54:54,359 --> 00:54:56,402
Get that out of my face, asshoIe!
657
00:54:59,155 --> 00:54:59,989
Let go!
658
00:55:00,490 --> 00:55:01,324
Now.
659
00:55:02,992 --> 00:55:04,160
Stop it!
660
00:55:05,036 --> 00:55:08,539
"Rank" you!
Come again, Mrs. Professor!
661
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:11,251
You shared a man with that woman?
662
00:55:17,966 --> 00:55:20,885
Did you enjoy the fresh air?
Yeah, thanks.
663
00:55:21,094 --> 00:55:24,472
Good. Because it's the Iast time
you're Ieaving the ward.
664
00:55:25,807 --> 00:55:28,351
Is that a dare or a doubIe dare?
665
00:55:31,229 --> 00:55:35,525
Okay, raise your arms. Very good.
We're going to be trees.
666
00:55:35,942 --> 00:55:39,320
FeeI the strength in your arms
as the branches.
667
00:55:39,570 --> 00:55:42,240
And reach those branches up to the sky.
668
00:55:42,490 --> 00:55:45,994
Come on, Susanna, reach.
Very good!
669
00:55:46,202 --> 00:55:48,037
Lisa, aII right.
670
00:55:48,288 --> 00:55:51,207
Reach your arms, girIs.
Reach. ReaIIy Iift.
671
00:55:51,457 --> 00:55:53,376
FeeI the stretch through the hip.
672
00:55:53,543 --> 00:55:56,129
Very good.
Let your arms be branches.
673
00:55:56,337 --> 00:55:58,548
There's strength in those branches.
674
00:55:58,965 --> 00:56:03,886
Reach, reach aII the way up
into the sky. Very good.
675
00:56:04,178 --> 00:56:08,057
Let the wind bIow the Ieaves
and Iet your fingers be the Ieaves.
676
00:56:08,349 --> 00:56:10,768
Good, M.G, very good.
FeeI the wind.
677
00:56:11,227 --> 00:56:13,438
Good. Good, Lisa.
678
00:56:13,730 --> 00:56:15,440
Very good.
679
00:56:15,857 --> 00:56:19,068
Just Iift up. Lift up.
Very good, girIs.
680
00:56:19,360 --> 00:56:21,738
Now feeI your feet.
FeeI your feet be rooted.
681
00:56:21,988 --> 00:56:24,282
Go down into a pIi�.
Very good.
682
00:56:24,574 --> 00:56:27,243
Good, girIs. PoIIy, very good.
683
00:56:27,493 --> 00:56:31,080
Now stretch it. The wind's bIowing
reaIIy hard this way.
684
00:56:31,873 --> 00:56:34,876
That is not fair.
That is not fair!
685
00:56:35,084 --> 00:56:36,336
That is not fair!
686
00:56:37,754 --> 00:56:39,631
Seventy.four is the perfect weight!
687
00:56:43,384 --> 00:56:44,928
Good Iuck, crazy bitch.
688
00:56:45,094 --> 00:56:48,765
What kind of tree can you be
down there on the fIoor?
689
00:56:48,932 --> 00:56:51,601
I'm a fucking shrub, aII right?
690
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:17,145
Martin Luther King Jr. was killed
tonight in Memphis, Tennessee.
691
00:58:17,353 --> 00:58:21,316
He was shot as he stood
on the balcony of his hotel room.
692
00:58:21,774 --> 00:58:23,568
Last night, he said this.:
693
00:58:23,776 --> 00:58:26,195
l don't know what will happen now.
694
00:58:27,030 --> 00:58:29,490
We've got some difficult days ahead.
695
00:58:30,950 --> 00:58:33,411
But it really doesn't matter
with me now...
696
00:58:33,703 --> 00:58:36,289
...because l've been
to the mountaintop.
697
00:58:48,051 --> 00:58:50,261
Susanna, you have a visitor.
698
00:58:54,933 --> 00:58:56,142
What are you doing here?
699
00:59:00,980 --> 00:59:03,399
I ship out next week.
700
00:59:05,109 --> 00:59:06,319
Here.
701
00:59:23,795 --> 00:59:25,296
Checks.
702
00:59:26,005 --> 00:59:27,590
Sorry.
703
00:59:28,299 --> 00:59:32,095
No. It's okay. We have
10 minutes tiII they come back.
704
00:59:42,563 --> 00:59:43,815
Hey, Torch.
705
00:59:44,774 --> 00:59:46,776
What you doing?
706
00:59:47,694 --> 00:59:48,861
Nothing.
707
00:59:49,445 --> 00:59:52,824
WeII, why don't you go to
your room and do nothing?
708
01:00:03,751 --> 01:00:05,336
Checks.
709
01:00:07,505 --> 01:00:08,881
Checks.
710
01:00:12,302 --> 01:00:13,469
Checks.
711
01:00:17,098 --> 01:00:18,099
Hey, Margie.
712
01:00:18,349 --> 01:00:20,310
Hey, Lisa.
What you doing?
713
01:00:20,560 --> 01:00:22,687
Checks.
How's Joe?
714
01:00:22,937 --> 01:00:24,731
He's fine.
715
01:00:25,315 --> 01:00:26,899
I have to do my checks.
716
01:00:27,150 --> 01:00:30,320
Taking five minutes for me
wouId be a dereIiction of duty?
717
01:00:31,821 --> 01:00:33,489
What if I had a punctured artery?
718
01:00:33,740 --> 01:00:35,992
You'd go on your rounds,
ignoring my wounds?
719
01:00:36,242 --> 01:00:38,953
Stop it.
Stop what? Look at this.
720
01:00:39,412 --> 01:00:40,496
Go ahead. Go ahead.
721
01:00:40,747 --> 01:00:41,998
That's enough!
722
01:00:42,206 --> 01:00:44,834
Take one step
and I'II jam this in my aorta!
723
01:00:45,084 --> 01:00:46,169
Stop it.
724
01:00:46,419 --> 01:00:48,296
Your aorta is in your chest.
725
01:00:50,340 --> 01:00:51,799
Good to know.
726
01:00:52,634 --> 01:00:55,511
I'II make a note of that.
Good.
727
01:01:04,354 --> 01:01:07,106
You have grounds priviIeges.
Why don't you take a waIk?
728
01:01:07,774 --> 01:01:09,859
Go get a cup of coffee.
729
01:01:14,113 --> 01:01:15,865
We shouId get out of here.
730
01:01:32,173 --> 01:01:33,716
The cafeteria's this way.
731
01:01:33,883 --> 01:01:35,385
My wheeIs are here.
732
01:01:35,677 --> 01:01:37,553
Wait. What are we doing?
733
01:01:40,223 --> 01:01:42,225
We're going to Canada.
734
01:01:48,314 --> 01:01:50,066
You're not crazy.
735
01:01:50,316 --> 01:01:52,735
Okay? You don't need to be here.
736
01:01:54,237 --> 01:01:56,906
I tried to kiII myseIf, Toby.
737
01:01:57,365 --> 01:02:01,536
You took some aspirin.
I took a bottIe of aspirin.
738
01:02:02,745 --> 01:02:07,208
That buys you a year in this pIace?
That's buIIshit, okay?
739
01:02:07,417 --> 01:02:08,543
They're breaking you.
740
01:02:09,043 --> 01:02:11,963
Come on. AII right?
Everything's changing, man.
741
01:02:12,255 --> 01:02:14,465
What do they know
about being normaI?
742
01:02:17,343 --> 01:02:19,095
I have friends in here.
743
01:02:20,263 --> 01:02:22,974
Who? Them?
744
01:02:23,433 --> 01:02:25,435
Those girIs...
Susanna...
745
01:02:27,020 --> 01:02:30,857
...they're eating grapes
off of the waIIpaper.
746
01:02:31,274 --> 01:02:32,775
They're insane.
747
01:02:33,359 --> 01:02:35,903
If they are, I am.
748
01:02:40,116 --> 01:02:41,910
No, baby.
Listen, come with me.
749
01:02:46,623 --> 01:02:47,790
Look...
750
01:02:48,791 --> 01:02:51,127
...my dad gave me five grand.
751
01:02:51,753 --> 01:02:55,757
Okay? We can go up there.
We can buiId a cabin in the woods.
752
01:02:57,967 --> 01:03:00,345
Look, I know that this sounds crazy...
753
01:03:02,639 --> 01:03:04,474
...but I think I Iove you.
754
01:03:05,850 --> 01:03:08,227
So come with me. Okay?
755
01:03:09,979 --> 01:03:11,773
Come with me.
756
01:03:20,114 --> 01:03:23,243
You wanna Ieave, don't you?
757
01:03:23,493 --> 01:03:24,661
Yes.
758
01:03:25,161 --> 01:03:27,163
I wanna Ieave.
759
01:03:30,541 --> 01:03:32,377
But not with you.
760
01:03:36,214 --> 01:03:37,840
Not with you.
761
01:03:39,509 --> 01:03:41,177
I'm sorry.
762
01:03:43,221 --> 01:03:45,306
Susanna, wait a second.
763
01:04:30,727 --> 01:04:32,645
Why did you do that?
764
01:04:36,274 --> 01:04:38,901
Fix the Iight buIb at night?
765
01:04:40,987 --> 01:04:43,239
I'm not here in the morning...
766
01:04:43,615 --> 01:04:47,201
...and that's when you Iike to draw
your pictures and stuff.
767
01:04:47,493 --> 01:04:48,578
So...
768
01:04:59,839 --> 01:05:00,840
John?
769
01:05:07,972 --> 01:05:09,974
Why do you Iike me?
770
01:05:12,977 --> 01:05:15,104
I just Iike you.
771
01:05:16,314 --> 01:05:17,982
That's aII.
772
01:05:19,150 --> 01:05:21,778
I wish you were getting
better, though.
773
01:05:22,570 --> 01:05:24,155
I wouId...
774
01:05:25,490 --> 01:05:29,369
I'd take you out to go see
a movie or something.
775
01:05:32,038 --> 01:05:33,748
That'd be nice.
776
01:05:35,792 --> 01:05:36,960
My face!
777
01:05:39,796 --> 01:05:41,172
My face!
778
01:05:41,422 --> 01:05:43,508
I'm okay. I'm okay.
779
01:05:43,758 --> 01:05:45,677
Let her be. She's fine.
My face!
780
01:05:45,927 --> 01:05:47,053
My face!
781
01:05:47,345 --> 01:05:49,597
SecIusion.
Take her to SecIusion. Come on.
782
01:05:50,098 --> 01:05:51,683
I got you.
783
01:05:54,644 --> 01:05:56,062
My face! Why?
Open it.
784
01:05:57,313 --> 01:05:58,982
My face!
785
01:05:59,190 --> 01:06:00,608
My face!
786
01:06:00,858 --> 01:06:05,238
Quieten down. Quieten down.
You're aII right.
787
01:06:06,864 --> 01:06:09,784
I'm ugIy! My face!
788
01:06:09,993 --> 01:06:13,329
I'm ugIy! Why?
789
01:06:37,437 --> 01:06:39,230
What happened to PoIIy?
790
01:06:41,691 --> 01:06:44,694
What needs to happen?
No one's ever gonna kiss her.
791
01:06:47,238 --> 01:06:49,866
They're buiIding a new
DisneyIand in FIorida.
792
01:06:50,408 --> 01:06:53,703
If I couId have any job,
I'd be a professionaI CindereIIa.
793
01:06:54,495 --> 01:06:56,164
You couId be Snow White.
794
01:06:56,414 --> 01:06:58,875
PoIIy couId be Minnie Mouse and then...
795
01:06:59,083 --> 01:07:01,044
...she'd be hugged, kissed
and Ioved...
796
01:07:01,252 --> 01:07:04,672
...and no one wouId know
what's inside that giant head.
797
01:07:06,090 --> 01:07:08,009
Give me your keys.
798
01:07:34,077 --> 01:07:36,162
Hey, PoIIy.
799
01:07:37,413 --> 01:07:38,414
It's Susanna.
800
01:07:38,581 --> 01:07:40,208
Just pIay something.
801
01:07:40,583 --> 01:07:43,878
If taIking did shit,
we'd be out of here by now.
802
01:08:04,774 --> 01:08:09,112
When you're alone
And life is making you lonely
803
01:08:09,362 --> 01:08:12,490
You can always go
804
01:08:12,740 --> 01:08:14,576
Downtown
805
01:08:22,917 --> 01:08:26,921
When you've got worries
All the noise and the hurry
806
01:08:27,130 --> 01:08:30,717
Seems to help, l know
807
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:39,434
Downtown
808
01:08:40,852 --> 01:08:43,521
Just listen to the music
809
01:08:43,771 --> 01:08:46,441
ln the traffic in the city
810
01:08:46,858 --> 01:08:51,321
Linger on the sidewalks
Where the neon lights are pretty
811
01:08:52,989 --> 01:08:54,699
How can you lose?
812
01:08:56,034 --> 01:08:58,995
The lights are much brighter there
813
01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:04,083
You can forget all your troubles
Forget all your cares and go downtown
814
01:09:04,334 --> 01:09:06,002
Back to your room, pIease.
815
01:09:06,210 --> 01:09:10,173
Things will be great when you're
Downtown
816
01:09:10,340 --> 01:09:12,592
McWiIIey is gonna wake up.
817
01:09:12,842 --> 01:09:14,218
Give me the guitar.
818
01:09:16,471 --> 01:09:18,014
You're gonna get me fired.
819
01:09:18,222 --> 01:09:21,768
You'll be dancing with him
Before the night is over
820
01:09:22,018 --> 01:09:23,895
Give me the guitar.
-Happy again
821
01:09:25,563 --> 01:09:27,106
No. No.
822
01:09:27,523 --> 01:09:29,651
It's okay. It's okay.
Come here.
823
01:09:29,901 --> 01:09:32,195
You'II get me fired.
You know that?
824
01:09:43,748 --> 01:09:46,542
Downtown
825
01:09:47,877 --> 01:09:50,380
Everything's great...
826
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:55,218
... when you're downtown
827
01:10:21,452 --> 01:10:22,996
I'm writing you up.
828
01:10:23,246 --> 01:10:25,665
I am sick of this buIIshit.
829
01:10:30,753 --> 01:10:32,547
Is she here?
830
01:10:33,089 --> 01:10:35,008
You can go in now.
831
01:10:41,472 --> 01:10:44,892
What did she do?
They drugged Nurse McWiIIey.
832
01:10:51,190 --> 01:10:53,651
Good morning, Susanna.
Good morning.
833
01:10:53,860 --> 01:10:54,944
How are you?
834
01:10:56,905 --> 01:10:59,032
I'm fine, I guess.
835
01:11:00,575 --> 01:11:02,160
Sit down.
836
01:11:11,711 --> 01:11:13,171
You Iook tired.
837
01:11:15,381 --> 01:11:20,345
PoIIy freaked out Iast night and we
stayed up singing to her, Lisa and I.
838
01:11:22,138 --> 01:11:24,891
Have you become friends with Lisa?
839
01:11:26,935 --> 01:11:28,561
Why? Is that bad?
840
01:11:28,811 --> 01:11:31,564
Does it feeI bad?
No.
841
01:11:32,273 --> 01:11:35,485
Before you came here, did you
have many girIfriends?
842
01:11:36,110 --> 01:11:37,612
Not reaIIy.
843
01:11:39,656 --> 01:11:43,618
WouId you say that before you came here,
your friends consisted mainIy...
844
01:11:43,826 --> 01:11:45,286
...of boys, of men?
845
01:11:46,829 --> 01:11:49,290
Does it say in there
that I'm promiscuous?
846
01:11:49,999 --> 01:11:52,001
Why do you choose that word?
847
01:11:52,210 --> 01:11:55,797
How many guys wouId I have to sIeep
with to be considered promiscuous?
848
01:11:56,005 --> 01:11:58,174
Textbook promiscuous?
849
01:11:58,758 --> 01:12:00,176
What do you think?
850
01:12:00,426 --> 01:12:03,763
Ten. Eight. Five.
851
01:12:04,555 --> 01:12:08,184
How many girIs wouId a guy have to sIeep
with to be considered promiscuous?
852
01:12:08,393 --> 01:12:10,353
Ten? 20? 109?
853
01:12:10,561 --> 01:12:12,522
Someone who's compuIsiveIy
promiscuous...
854
01:12:12,814 --> 01:12:16,150
...might engage in a sex act
with a guest in their room...
855
01:12:16,359 --> 01:12:21,489
...and then engage in another sex act
during the same day with an orderIy.
856
01:12:25,827 --> 01:12:30,665
Am I in troubIe for kissing an orderIy
or giving my boyfriend a bIowjob?
857
01:12:32,750 --> 01:12:34,627
MeIvin says...
858
01:12:34,836 --> 01:12:39,215
...you have some very interesting
theories about your iIIness.
859
01:12:39,424 --> 01:12:43,511
You beIieve there is
a mysticaI undertow in Iife.
860
01:12:43,720 --> 01:12:47,015
"Quicksands of shadows."
861
01:12:47,223 --> 01:12:51,394
Another one of my theories is that you
peopIe don't know what you're doing.
862
01:12:51,644 --> 01:12:54,564
You acknowIedge a probIem
coping with this quicksand.
863
01:12:54,856 --> 01:12:58,776
I have a probIem coping with this
hospitaI. I wanna Ieave.
864
01:13:00,820 --> 01:13:01,905
I can't do that.
865
01:13:02,155 --> 01:13:04,824
I signed myseIf in,
I can sign myseIf out.
866
01:13:05,074 --> 01:13:08,578
You signed yourseIf into our care.
We decide when you Ieave.
867
01:13:08,912 --> 01:13:10,747
You're not ready for it, Susanna.
868
01:13:11,247 --> 01:13:14,000
Your progress has pIateaued.
869
01:13:15,752 --> 01:13:17,754
Does that disappoint you?
870
01:13:18,254 --> 01:13:20,048
I'm ambivaIent.
871
01:13:20,715 --> 01:13:22,926
In fact, that's my new favourite word.
872
01:13:23,176 --> 01:13:25,720
Do you know what that means,
ambivaIence?
873
01:13:26,262 --> 01:13:27,430
I don't care.
874
01:13:27,680 --> 01:13:29,641
If it's your favourite word,
I wouId've...
875
01:13:29,891 --> 01:13:32,435
It means "I don't care."
That's what it means.
876
01:13:32,727 --> 01:13:35,271
On the contrary, Susanna.
877
01:13:35,521 --> 01:13:40,443
AmbivaIence suggests strong
feeIings in opposition.
878
01:13:40,693 --> 01:13:43,738
The prefix, as in ambidextrous...
879
01:13:43,947 --> 01:13:45,490
...means "both."
880
01:13:46,282 --> 01:13:49,744
The rest of it, in Latin,
means "vigour."
881
01:13:50,370 --> 01:13:53,248
The word suggests that you are torn...
882
01:13:53,957 --> 01:13:56,417
...between two opposing courses
of action.
883
01:14:00,129 --> 01:14:02,298
WiII I stay or wiII I go?
884
01:14:02,632 --> 01:14:05,969
Am I sane or am I crazy?
885
01:14:06,302 --> 01:14:08,012
Those aren't courses of action.
886
01:14:08,805 --> 01:14:12,475
They can be, dear, for some.
887
01:14:12,684 --> 01:14:14,769
WeII, then, it's the wrong word.
888
01:14:15,144 --> 01:14:16,312
No.
889
01:14:16,980 --> 01:14:18,690
I think it's perfect.
890
01:14:32,662 --> 01:14:35,415
"What worId is this?
891
01:14:35,957 --> 01:14:37,500
What kingdom?
892
01:14:38,793 --> 01:14:41,879
What shores of what worIds?"
893
01:14:42,171 --> 01:14:47,176
It's a very big question
you're faced with, Susanna.
894
01:14:47,844 --> 01:14:50,555
The choice of your Iife.
895
01:14:51,806 --> 01:14:55,059
How much wiII you induIge
in your fIaws?
896
01:14:56,352 --> 01:14:59,272
What are your fIaws?
Are they fIaws?
897
01:15:00,064 --> 01:15:05,194
If you embrace them, wiII you commit
yourseIf to hospitaI for Iife?
898
01:15:06,571 --> 01:15:10,283
Big questions, big decisions.
899
01:15:11,659 --> 01:15:15,705
Not surprising you profess
careIessness about them.
900
01:15:22,712 --> 01:15:24,255
Is that it?
901
01:15:26,215 --> 01:15:27,800
For now.
902
01:15:36,809 --> 01:15:39,062
This way, Susanna.
903
01:15:53,326 --> 01:15:55,828
John was moved to the men's ward.
904
01:15:57,413 --> 01:16:00,959
And Lisa never came back
from Dr. Wick's office.
905
01:16:28,987 --> 01:16:31,281
We live in a time of doubt.
906
01:16:32,490 --> 01:16:35,785
The institutions we once trusted
no longer seem reliable.
907
01:16:40,456 --> 01:16:43,835
Daisy sent us a postcard
aII about her new apartment.
908
01:16:44,419 --> 01:16:46,629
She got a pussycat.
909
01:16:47,505 --> 01:16:49,549
Where's Lisa?
910
01:16:50,592 --> 01:16:52,677
You know where she is.
911
01:16:54,012 --> 01:16:56,472
They just put her in another ward.
912
01:17:07,942 --> 01:17:10,612
I think you need to get up.
913
01:17:11,029 --> 01:17:14,824
I'm just gonna rest for a whiIe,
just a IittIe whiIe.
914
01:17:22,957 --> 01:17:23,875
What are you doing?
915
01:17:27,128 --> 01:17:28,379
Fuck!
916
01:17:31,132 --> 01:17:32,717
Sorry, too coId?
917
01:17:32,967 --> 01:17:36,804
What the fuck are you doing?
Get me the fuck out of this tub!
918
01:17:37,263 --> 01:17:38,431
Get yourseIf out.
919
01:17:39,140 --> 01:17:40,808
Where's Lisa?
920
01:17:41,893 --> 01:17:43,519
Where the fuck is Lisa?
921
01:17:44,187 --> 01:17:46,064
Can't hack it without her?
922
01:17:46,314 --> 01:17:50,526
You banish her for singing to PoIIy.
We were trying to heIp her!
923
01:17:51,194 --> 01:17:56,032
We were trying to heIp her! This pIace
is a fucking fascist torture chamber!
924
01:17:56,241 --> 01:17:57,450
No.
925
01:17:57,700 --> 01:18:01,537
I worked in state hospitaIs.
This pIace is a five.star hoteI.
926
01:18:03,665 --> 01:18:05,375
Oh, lordy, pick a bale of cotton
927
01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:11,130
You know, I can take a Iot of crazy
shit from a Iot of crazy peopIe...
928
01:18:11,339 --> 01:18:12,465
...but you?
929
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:14,550
You are not crazy.
930
01:18:14,801 --> 01:18:16,552
Then what's wrong with me?
931
01:18:16,803 --> 01:18:19,722
What the fuck's going on
inside my head?
932
01:18:19,931 --> 01:18:22,558
TeII me Dr. VaI, what's
your diag.nonsense?
933
01:18:22,767 --> 01:18:26,813
You are a Iazy, seIf.induIgent
IittIe girI...
934
01:18:27,063 --> 01:18:29,899
...who is driving herseIf crazy.
935
01:18:32,860 --> 01:18:36,739
Is that your medicaI opinion? Huh?
936
01:18:36,990 --> 01:18:40,535
Is that what you've Iearned in your
studies at night schooI...
937
01:18:40,743 --> 01:18:42,954
...for Negro weIfare mothers?
938
01:18:43,788 --> 01:18:47,875
I mean, MeIvin doesn't have a cIue.
Wick is a psycho. And you...
939
01:18:48,084 --> 01:18:49,544
...pretend you're a doctor.
940
01:18:49,752 --> 01:18:54,090
You sign charts and doIe out meds, but
you's ain't no doctor, Miss VaIerie.
941
01:18:54,257 --> 01:18:57,385
You's ain't nothing
but a bIack nursemaid.
942
01:19:00,430 --> 01:19:02,765
And you're just throwing it away.
943
01:19:29,042 --> 01:19:31,127
You stiII wanna go to FIorida?
944
01:19:33,755 --> 01:19:36,633
Lisa, we need money, don't we?
945
01:19:36,883 --> 01:19:39,636
You've tongued your meds?
Yeah, but I onIy have...
946
01:19:39,886 --> 01:19:42,180
They gave me shocks again.
947
01:19:42,639 --> 01:19:44,432
Jamie, I have to get out of here.
948
01:19:47,101 --> 01:19:48,853
I'm Susanna.
949
01:19:49,979 --> 01:19:52,231
I'm Susanna.
950
01:20:11,167 --> 01:20:13,044
What are we doing?
951
01:20:15,964 --> 01:20:17,674
What is it?
952
01:20:19,008 --> 01:20:22,553
"Dear sir, pIease give
Daisy Randone assistance...
953
01:20:22,804 --> 01:20:26,391
...instaIIing a teIephone
at 23 Vicar Street."
954
01:20:26,641 --> 01:20:28,351
I thought we were going to FIorida!
955
01:20:28,559 --> 01:20:31,604
We just need a pIace to crash
tiII we get pIane tickets.
956
01:20:33,815 --> 01:20:35,191
Come on.
957
01:20:46,536 --> 01:20:48,288
Nice coat.
958
01:21:52,685 --> 01:21:53,978
What?
959
01:21:55,271 --> 01:21:57,649
You don't want me, Tony.
960
01:21:57,941 --> 01:21:59,859
Yes, I do, baby.
961
01:22:00,109 --> 01:22:02,779
No, you don't.
I'm a crazy girI.
962
01:22:03,029 --> 01:22:05,365
You're crazy, so we can't
have one night?
963
01:22:05,615 --> 01:22:08,743
I am a crazy girI. SeriousIy.
964
01:22:10,119 --> 01:22:12,956
You've been in a hospitaI?
Yes.
965
01:22:19,045 --> 01:22:20,713
Do you see purpIe peopIe?
966
01:22:22,423 --> 01:22:24,759
My friend, he saw purpIe peopIe.
967
01:22:25,260 --> 01:22:28,388
And so the state came
and took him away.
968
01:22:29,514 --> 01:22:31,307
He didn't Iike that.
969
01:22:31,516 --> 01:22:33,643
Some time went by...
970
01:22:34,102 --> 01:22:36,980
...and he toId them he didn't see
purpIe peopIe no more.
971
01:22:37,188 --> 01:22:38,606
He got better.
972
01:22:39,399 --> 01:22:42,277
No. He stiII sees them.
973
01:22:45,154 --> 01:22:45,989
We gotta spIit.
974
01:22:46,239 --> 01:22:47,865
Somebody stop her!
975
01:22:48,116 --> 01:22:50,535
She took my fucking waIIet!
976
01:23:01,212 --> 01:23:03,214
Identify yourseIf.
977
01:23:03,881 --> 01:23:06,134
It's Susanna and...
978
01:23:06,342 --> 01:23:09,262
It's Susanna. Daisy?
979
01:23:15,810 --> 01:23:16,978
You got VaIium?
980
01:23:33,328 --> 01:23:34,495
CooI pad.
981
01:23:36,706 --> 01:23:38,249
Peace, man, peace.
982
01:23:38,708 --> 01:23:40,835
I'm sorry for being a bitch.
I was a drag.
983
01:23:41,044 --> 01:23:42,629
That's for you.
984
01:23:51,846 --> 01:23:53,473
That's Ruby.
985
01:23:54,265 --> 01:23:56,184
My dad bought her for me.
986
01:23:58,353 --> 01:24:00,813
This is a Castro ConvertibIe.
987
01:24:01,648 --> 01:24:03,399
It puIIs out.
CooI.
988
01:24:04,150 --> 01:24:05,610
Where's your bathroom?
Right there.
989
01:24:09,822 --> 01:24:11,157
You don't have a tub.
990
01:24:11,366 --> 01:24:13,326
No, I don't.
991
01:24:14,327 --> 01:24:16,079
What about upstairs?
Nope.
992
01:24:18,790 --> 01:24:21,668
So, what, did you two
escape or what?
993
01:24:21,918 --> 01:24:24,545
ActuaIIy, we're going to FIorida.
994
01:24:24,796 --> 01:24:27,715
AII you have is mustard
and your chickens.
995
01:24:28,299 --> 01:24:31,719
So what are you girIs going
to do in FIorida?
996
01:24:33,096 --> 01:24:36,224
I'm gonna be CindereIIa at
WaIt Disney's new theme park.
997
01:24:36,891 --> 01:24:38,935
Susanna's gonna be Snow White.
998
01:24:39,435 --> 01:24:41,729
You can come if you want.
999
01:24:42,272 --> 01:24:45,149
You can be the cocker spanieI
that eats spaghetti.
1000
01:24:47,110 --> 01:24:48,444
I wanna make pancakes.
1001
01:24:48,778 --> 01:24:50,613
I'm tired.
I wanna go to bed.
1002
01:24:50,863 --> 01:24:53,116
I want to make pancakes
in the morning.
1003
01:24:53,366 --> 01:24:54,951
There's a market on the corner.
1004
01:24:55,410 --> 01:24:57,453
Pans are under the sink.
1005
01:24:57,704 --> 01:24:59,664
SiIver's in that drawer.
1006
01:25:03,126 --> 01:25:04,669
Do you have any money?
1007
01:25:06,087 --> 01:25:09,132
Do you have some sort
of a safety net down there?
1008
01:25:10,717 --> 01:25:13,469
PeopIe you know down there in FIorida?
1009
01:25:14,137 --> 01:25:15,638
ReIatives?
1010
01:25:16,556 --> 01:25:19,309
Friends? Anything?
1011
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:32,488
This is for your pancakes.
1012
01:25:34,157 --> 01:25:36,659
Don't make a Iot of noise
in the morning.
1013
01:25:37,660 --> 01:25:39,829
I Iike to sIeep Iate.
1014
01:25:40,496 --> 01:25:42,707
I'II come down when I'm ready.
1015
01:26:12,070 --> 01:26:13,655
Give me the VaIium.
1016
01:26:14,822 --> 01:26:16,783
We don't need your daddy's money.
1017
01:26:17,325 --> 01:26:19,202
Then Ieave it there.
1018
01:26:19,702 --> 01:26:22,372
Just give me the fucking VaIium.
1019
01:26:28,211 --> 01:26:29,420
What's this?
1020
01:26:29,712 --> 01:26:30,880
What's this?
Let go.
1021
01:26:31,089 --> 01:26:34,050
Trying out your new siIver?
Get the fuck off me.
1022
01:26:34,759 --> 01:26:36,052
Less appeaIing for Daddy.
1023
01:26:37,428 --> 01:26:39,389
Look at your own arm, asshoIe.
1024
01:26:39,681 --> 01:26:41,724
I'm sick, Daisy. We know that.
1025
01:26:41,933 --> 01:26:45,895
But here you are in so.caIIed
recovery, cut up Iike a ham.
1026
01:26:46,104 --> 01:26:48,064
Just stop it, okay?
1027
01:26:49,399 --> 01:26:51,985
HeIp me understand.
1028
01:26:52,777 --> 01:26:56,155
I thought you didn't do VaIium.
TeII me how this works.
1029
01:26:57,282 --> 01:27:00,827
TeII me that you don't drag that bIade
across your skin...
1030
01:27:01,077 --> 01:27:04,747
...and pray for the courage
to press down.
1031
01:27:06,249 --> 01:27:10,336
TeII me how your daddy
heIps you cope with that.
1032
01:27:10,753 --> 01:27:12,630
IIIuminate me.
1033
01:27:15,258 --> 01:27:17,427
My father Ioves me.
1034
01:27:19,971 --> 01:27:21,222
I bet.
1035
01:27:21,472 --> 01:27:24,434
With every inch of his manhood.
1036
01:27:24,684 --> 01:27:26,603
Oh, God.
1037
01:27:30,857 --> 01:27:32,859
I'm going to sIeep now.
1038
01:27:42,201 --> 01:27:43,870
PIease be gone in the morning.
1039
01:27:47,290 --> 01:27:49,167
You're just jeaIous, Lisa...
1040
01:27:50,543 --> 01:27:52,462
...because I got better.
1041
01:27:53,463 --> 01:27:55,381
Because I was reIeased.
1042
01:27:56,466 --> 01:27:58,927
Because I have a chance.
1043
01:28:00,428 --> 01:28:02,096
And a Iife.
1044
01:28:04,015 --> 01:28:06,643
They didn't reIease you
because you're better.
1045
01:28:07,060 --> 01:28:08,728
They just gave up.
1046
01:28:09,938 --> 01:28:11,773
You caII this a Iife?
1047
01:28:12,023 --> 01:28:16,653
Taking Daddy's money? Buying your
doIIies and your knickknacks?
1048
01:28:16,861 --> 01:28:20,782
Eating his fucking chicken?
Fattening up Iike a prize heifer?
1049
01:28:21,741 --> 01:28:23,868
You changed the scenery,
but not the situation...
1050
01:28:24,077 --> 01:28:26,454
...and the warden makes house caIIs.
1051
01:28:26,663 --> 01:28:28,831
And everybody knows.
1052
01:28:29,332 --> 01:28:32,293
Everybody knows that he fucks you.
1053
01:28:33,753 --> 01:28:35,129
What they don't know...
1054
01:28:36,547 --> 01:28:37,966
...is that you Iike it.
1055
01:28:40,009 --> 01:28:42,595
You Iike it.
Shut the fuck up!
1056
01:28:42,804 --> 01:28:45,181
Man, it's cooI. It's okay.
1057
01:28:45,390 --> 01:28:46,683
It's fucking fine!
1058
01:28:46,933 --> 01:28:50,520
A man is a dick is a man
is a dick is a chicken...
1059
01:28:50,728 --> 01:28:52,105
...is a dad...
1060
01:28:52,313 --> 01:28:56,025
...a VaIium, a specuIum, whatever.
1061
01:28:56,317 --> 01:28:57,944
Whatever.
1062
01:28:59,195 --> 01:29:00,947
You Iike being Mrs. Randone.
1063
01:29:02,824 --> 01:29:04,826
ProbabIy aII you've ever known.
1064
01:29:08,246 --> 01:29:10,456
Have fun in FIorida.
1065
01:31:02,485 --> 01:31:04,112
Has she come down yet?
1066
01:31:04,821 --> 01:31:05,863
No.
1067
01:31:07,448 --> 01:31:10,493
But she's been pIaying
that shit aII morning!
1068
01:31:12,287 --> 01:31:16,124
Why does my heart go on beating?
1069
01:31:18,918 --> 01:31:22,964
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
1070
01:31:25,967 --> 01:31:28,636
Don't they know
1071
01:31:28,845 --> 01:31:32,307
lt's the end of the world
1072
01:31:32,515 --> 01:31:35,727
lt ended when you said
1073
01:31:36,894 --> 01:31:40,023
Goodbye
1074
01:32:29,697 --> 01:32:31,074
Daisy?
1075
01:32:50,510 --> 01:32:52,512
Oh, my God!
1076
01:33:04,440 --> 01:33:06,276
What an idiot.
1077
01:33:15,118 --> 01:33:18,955
Yes, I need an ambuIance.
Make it a hearse.
1078
01:33:20,331 --> 01:33:24,335
Daisy Randone. She kiIIed herseIf.
1079
01:33:26,546 --> 01:33:31,384
23 Vicar Street.
Yes. PIease hurry!
1080
01:33:42,854 --> 01:33:45,982
You pressed her buttons.
Now you're taking her money.
1081
01:33:47,609 --> 01:33:50,361
I didn't press shit.
She was waiting for an excuse.
1082
01:33:50,570 --> 01:33:52,030
Pack up.
We have to go.
1083
01:33:52,280 --> 01:33:54,532
AII right?
We have to go!
1084
01:33:54,741 --> 01:33:56,534
Now we have money.
1085
01:34:00,246 --> 01:34:02,373
Don't be stupid.
1086
01:34:05,919 --> 01:34:08,630
AII right, fine.
Be stupid.
1087
01:36:21,304 --> 01:36:24,974
We shouId send someone
for a Iitter box.
1088
01:36:55,088 --> 01:36:56,881
Can I pet the kitty?
1089
01:36:59,676 --> 01:37:01,302
Be carefuI.
1090
01:37:04,931 --> 01:37:07,850
HeIIo, puddy.cat.
Kitty!
1091
01:37:08,726 --> 01:37:10,853
You are so cute.
1092
01:37:23,032 --> 01:37:24,826
Checks.
1093
01:37:26,536 --> 01:37:28,371
Where's Georgina?
1094
01:37:29,247 --> 01:37:31,541
She's staying with PoIIy tonight.
1095
01:37:32,333 --> 01:37:34,586
They're pIaying with your cat.
1096
01:37:38,548 --> 01:37:40,550
Did they find Lisa?
1097
01:37:41,926 --> 01:37:42,969
No.
1098
01:38:01,738 --> 01:38:04,407
I couIdn't stand up to her.
1099
01:38:08,703 --> 01:38:12,123
A decent person wouId
have done something.
1100
01:38:14,542 --> 01:38:16,294
Shut her up.
1101
01:38:20,340 --> 01:38:22,425
Gone upstairs.
1102
01:38:23,134 --> 01:38:25,053
TaIked to Daisy.
1103
01:38:27,847 --> 01:38:30,266
MeIvin said you went upstairs.
1104
01:38:32,602 --> 01:38:34,229
Too Iate.
1105
01:38:36,689 --> 01:38:39,025
What wouId you have said to her?
1106
01:38:40,777 --> 01:38:42,570
I don't know.
1107
01:38:44,322 --> 01:38:46,324
That I was sorry.
1108
01:38:51,829 --> 01:38:54,791
That I'II never know what
it was Iike to be her.
1109
01:38:59,128 --> 01:39:03,007
But I know what it's Iike
to wanna die.
1110
01:39:07,136 --> 01:39:09,681
How it hurts to smiIe.
1111
01:39:11,641 --> 01:39:15,103
How you try to fit in,
but you can't.
1112
01:39:16,646 --> 01:39:19,941
How you hurt yourseIf
on the outside...
1113
01:39:20,149 --> 01:39:23,444
...to try to kiII the thing
on the inside.
1114
01:39:25,697 --> 01:39:30,535
Susanna, it's aII weII and good
to teII me aII this.
1115
01:39:31,536 --> 01:39:35,123
But you've got to teII
some of this to your doctors.
1116
01:39:41,462 --> 01:39:43,423
How am I supposed to recover...
1117
01:39:43,631 --> 01:39:46,509
...when I don't even
understand my disease?
1118
01:39:47,510 --> 01:39:49,887
But you do understand it.
1119
01:39:50,179 --> 01:39:53,725
You spoke very cIearIy
about it a second ago.
1120
01:39:54,559 --> 01:39:57,729
But I think what you've got
to do is put it down.
1121
01:39:57,979 --> 01:40:00,356
Put it away.
Put it in your notebook.
1122
01:40:00,565 --> 01:40:02,567
But get it out of yourseIf.
1123
01:40:03,276 --> 01:40:07,196
Away, so you can't
curI up with it anymore.
1124
01:40:14,162 --> 01:40:16,623
Lisa thinks it's a gift.
1125
01:40:19,417 --> 01:40:22,253
That it Iets you see the truth.
1126
01:40:25,465 --> 01:40:27,967
Lisa's been here for eight years.
1127
01:40:36,517 --> 01:40:38,728
I'm so sorry.
1128
01:40:39,187 --> 01:40:42,273
I was a pig.
It's aII right. Listen.
1129
01:40:44,859 --> 01:40:47,362
Do not drop anchor here.
1130
01:40:48,613 --> 01:40:49,572
Understand?
1131
01:41:03,002 --> 01:41:05,421
When you don't want to feel...
1132
01:41:06,339 --> 01:41:09,175
... death can seem like a dream.
1133
01:41:10,176 --> 01:41:12,929
But seeing death...
1134
01:41:13,554 --> 01:41:15,556
...really seeing it...
1135
01:41:15,932 --> 01:41:20,019
...makes dreaming about it
fucking ridiculous.
1136
01:41:20,895 --> 01:41:24,774
Maybe there's a moment,
growing up...
1137
01:41:25,024 --> 01:41:27,110
... when something peels back.
1138
01:41:27,527 --> 01:41:31,906
Maybe we look for secrets because
we can't believe our minds.
1139
01:41:32,115 --> 01:41:36,077
Though l missed Lisa,
life was easier without her.
1140
01:41:36,286 --> 01:41:38,621
A thought is a hard thing
to control.
1141
01:41:40,623 --> 01:41:42,834
All l know is that
l began to feel again.
1142
01:41:43,084 --> 01:41:44,294
Crazy? Sane?
1143
01:41:44,460 --> 01:41:49,132
Whatever l was, l knew there was
only one way back to the world...
1144
01:41:49,382 --> 01:41:51,843
...and that was to use the place...
1145
01:41:52,135 --> 01:41:53,595
... to talk.
1146
01:41:54,304 --> 01:41:58,224
So l saw the great and wonderful
Dr. Wick three times a week...
1147
01:41:58,433 --> 01:42:01,436
...and l let her hear
every thought in my head.
1148
01:42:05,315 --> 01:42:09,152
Do you think maybe I have ESP
or something, that I'm gifted?
1149
01:42:10,153 --> 01:42:11,654
Perhaps.
1150
01:42:23,917 --> 01:42:26,794
You think I can be home
by Thanksgiving?
1151
01:42:30,673 --> 01:42:33,384
Nothing's happened
in weeks, you know.
1152
01:42:34,177 --> 01:42:36,846
The point is controI.
1153
01:42:37,096 --> 01:42:41,184
Yeah, and here I am,
in controI, off meds...
1154
01:42:41,476 --> 01:42:44,687
...no headaches, sIeeping sound.
1155
01:42:53,112 --> 01:42:55,365
Oh, will you help me?
Can you help me?
1156
01:42:55,573 --> 01:42:57,533
You don't need to be helped
any longer.
1157
01:42:57,700 --> 01:43:00,036
You've always had the power
to go back to Kansas.
1158
01:43:00,870 --> 01:43:01,829
l have?
1159
01:43:02,038 --> 01:43:03,581
Then why didn't you tell her before?
1160
01:43:03,831 --> 01:43:06,125
Because she wouldn't have
believed me.
1161
01:43:06,376 --> 01:43:07,877
She had to learn it for herself.
1162
01:43:08,044 --> 01:43:10,129
What have you learned, Dorothy?
1163
01:43:14,884 --> 01:43:16,511
l think that it...
1164
01:43:16,719 --> 01:43:20,723
... that it wasn't enough just to want
to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em...
1165
01:43:22,392 --> 01:43:25,603
...and if l ever go looking
for my heart's desire again...
1166
01:43:25,853 --> 01:43:29,065
...l won't look any further
than my own back yard.
1167
01:43:29,357 --> 01:43:31,734
Because if it isn't there...
1168
01:43:31,943 --> 01:43:35,238
...l never really lost it
to begin with.
1169
01:43:36,239 --> 01:43:38,658
-ls that right?
-That's all it is.
1170
01:44:00,054 --> 01:44:01,598
Thanks, Joe.
1171
01:45:03,326 --> 01:45:07,956
Go away. Go away!
1172
01:45:13,711 --> 01:45:15,213
It's me.
1173
01:45:30,311 --> 01:45:32,730
It's been a whiIe...
1174
01:45:34,023 --> 01:45:36,901
...and I just wanted to say hey.
1175
01:45:40,822 --> 01:45:42,532
You okay?
1176
01:45:43,825 --> 01:45:45,660
FabuIous.
1177
01:45:48,663 --> 01:45:51,457
You're gonna be Iate.
Gretta's waiting for you.
1178
01:45:55,837 --> 01:45:59,215
I gotta go. Dr. Wick.
1179
01:46:01,593 --> 01:46:03,595
They stiII fucking with you?
1180
01:46:07,223 --> 01:46:08,516
They're...
1181
01:46:10,727 --> 01:46:13,396
ActuaIIy, they're Ietting me out.
1182
01:46:17,233 --> 01:46:19,027
Oh, that's great.
1183
01:46:22,238 --> 01:46:24,032
You better go.
1184
01:46:41,341 --> 01:46:44,928
WeII, my dad got me a job,
a part.time job...
1185
01:46:45,136 --> 01:46:47,430
...at a bookstore in Harvard Square.
1186
01:46:48,598 --> 01:46:51,434
And I got an apartment
with a phone so I can...
1187
01:46:51,684 --> 01:46:52,894
Stay in touch.
1188
01:46:54,646 --> 01:46:58,358
And I'II be seeing Sonia
twice a week.
1189
01:46:58,608 --> 01:47:02,445
Is that your Iong.term pIan?
To work in retaiI?
1190
01:47:06,241 --> 01:47:08,618
My pIan? No.
1191
01:47:09,160 --> 01:47:11,120
Then what do you pIan to do?
1192
01:47:14,165 --> 01:47:15,708
I pIan to write.
1193
01:47:23,508 --> 01:47:25,218
Polly Clark.
1194
01:47:26,261 --> 01:47:28,263
Cynthia CrowIey.
1195
01:47:31,641 --> 01:47:33,810
Susanna Kaysen.
1196
01:47:36,145 --> 01:47:38,940
I don't think I need...
SIeeping piIIs, darIing.
1197
01:47:39,148 --> 01:47:42,610
You want to be rested for tomorrow.
Last night's a Iong one.
1198
01:47:42,944 --> 01:47:45,405
Good girI. Katie Cooper.
1199
01:47:47,824 --> 01:47:49,325
Rosemary Jones.
1200
01:47:51,828 --> 01:47:54,122
Teresa McCuIIian.
1201
01:49:19,040 --> 01:49:20,416
Ruby?
1202
01:50:01,374 --> 01:50:04,752
"If I spread my fingers out,
my hand Iooked more human.
1203
01:50:05,003 --> 01:50:06,504
So I did that.
1204
01:50:06,796 --> 01:50:10,800
But it wasn't tiring hoIding my
fingers apart, so I Iet them reIax...
1205
01:50:11,050 --> 01:50:12,969
...and then, I turned my hand over.
1206
01:50:13,344 --> 01:50:15,013
The back wasn't much better.
1207
01:50:15,305 --> 01:50:17,557
My veins buIged."
1208
01:50:22,020 --> 01:50:24,647
Shut up, I'm reading.
Shut up!
1209
01:50:26,816 --> 01:50:30,695
"I can honestIy say that my memory
has been transformed...
1210
01:50:31,738 --> 01:50:34,616
By Freud's definition,
I've achieved mentaI heaIth.
1211
01:50:35,074 --> 01:50:37,577
And my discharge sheet
reads, 'recovered.'
1212
01:50:38,411 --> 01:50:39,871
Recovered."
1213
01:50:42,749 --> 01:50:44,667
Don't do this!
1214
01:50:45,501 --> 01:50:47,003
"Whatever it was..."
1215
01:50:52,842 --> 01:50:55,803
"Had I stopped arguing
with my personaIity?
1216
01:50:57,305 --> 01:50:58,514
Recovered."
1217
01:51:00,391 --> 01:51:04,145
We were reading your book.
We're having a IittIe read.aIoud...
1218
01:51:04,354 --> 01:51:07,190
...ceIebrate the wisdom you're
taking into the worId.
1219
01:51:07,398 --> 01:51:09,776
Try to Iearn something,
grow as peopIe.
1220
01:51:11,152 --> 01:51:14,113
When you were a baby,
they strapped you to a board.
1221
01:51:14,739 --> 01:51:16,908
You think Georgina doesn't
wanna Ieave...
1222
01:51:17,158 --> 01:51:18,701
...and I'm criminaIIy insane.
1223
01:51:19,035 --> 01:51:21,454
What are you guys doing here?
1224
01:51:21,704 --> 01:51:25,750
"Lisa's eyes, once so magnetic,
now just Iook empty."
1225
01:51:27,877 --> 01:51:29,837
That is mine.
1226
01:51:30,380 --> 01:51:32,215
That is mine.
1227
01:51:34,133 --> 01:51:36,886
"Georgina Iies onIy to peopIe
who keep her here.
1228
01:51:37,095 --> 01:51:39,681
Sometimes I think she wants
to Iive in Oz forever."
1229
01:51:39,931 --> 01:51:43,351
How perceptive.
You better erase that thing.
1230
01:51:43,893 --> 01:51:48,231
My father is the head of the CIA,
and he couId have you dead in minutes!
1231
01:51:48,439 --> 01:51:50,108
"In this worId, Iooks are everything.
1232
01:51:50,316 --> 01:51:54,237
Sometimes I think PoIIy's sweetness
and purity aren't genuine at aII...
1233
01:51:54,487 --> 01:51:57,615
...but a desperate attempt to make it
easier for us to Iook at her."
1234
01:51:58,157 --> 01:52:01,244
So nice of you to pass judgment on us
now that you're cured.
1235
01:52:01,786 --> 01:52:03,871
What the fuck are you doing, Lisa?
1236
01:52:04,539 --> 01:52:06,749
I'm pIaying the viIIain,
Iike you want.
1237
01:52:07,041 --> 01:52:09,502
I give you everything you want.
No, you don't.
1238
01:52:11,212 --> 01:52:12,589
You wanted your fiIe?
I got it!
1239
01:52:12,797 --> 01:52:16,342
You wanted out, I got you out!
You needed money, I found you some!
1240
01:52:16,593 --> 01:52:19,596
I toId you the truth!
I didn't write it in a book!
1241
01:52:19,846 --> 01:52:21,931
I toId you to your face!
1242
01:52:22,181 --> 01:52:26,352
I toId Daisy what everybody knew and
wouIdn't say, and she kiIIed herseIf.
1243
01:52:26,561 --> 01:52:28,229
I pIayed the fucking viIIain.
1244
01:52:28,479 --> 01:52:29,564
Just Iike you wanted.
1245
01:52:29,814 --> 01:52:31,274
Why wouId I want that?
1246
01:52:32,901 --> 01:52:35,236
Because it makes you
the good guy, sweet pea.
1247
01:52:35,445 --> 01:52:39,616
You come back here, aII sweetness
and Iight and sad and contrite...
1248
01:52:39,824 --> 01:52:44,621
...and everybody wrings their hands,
congratuIating you on your bravery.
1249
01:52:45,121 --> 01:52:49,584
MeanwhiIe, I'm bIowing guys at the
bus station for money!
1250
01:52:50,209 --> 01:52:51,711
Stop it, Lisa. She's too...
1251
01:52:51,961 --> 01:52:53,212
Shut up, PoIIy!
1252
01:52:55,548 --> 01:52:56,758
Where are you going?
1253
01:52:57,592 --> 01:52:59,093
I'm taIking to you!
1254
01:53:03,723 --> 01:53:06,643
Where are you going?
I'm taIking to you!
1255
01:53:11,147 --> 01:53:12,732
You don't Iike me anymore?
1256
01:53:12,982 --> 01:53:14,859
No, I don't!
1257
01:53:16,319 --> 01:53:18,154
Because you're free?
1258
01:53:18,446 --> 01:53:19,989
You think you're free?
1259
01:53:20,823 --> 01:53:22,116
I'm free!
1260
01:53:22,617 --> 01:53:25,286
You don't know what freedom is!
1261
01:53:26,079 --> 01:53:27,497
I'm free!
1262
01:53:27,997 --> 01:53:30,500
I can breathe! And you...
1263
01:53:30,750 --> 01:53:33,836
...you'II go choke on your
average fucking mediocre Iife!
1264
01:53:46,599 --> 01:53:48,518
There are too many buttons
in the worId.
1265
01:53:48,768 --> 01:53:50,853
Too many buttons,
and they're just...
1266
01:53:52,689 --> 01:53:55,149
There's way too many,
begging to be pressed.
1267
01:53:55,441 --> 01:53:57,318
They're just begging to be pressed!
1268
01:53:57,527 --> 01:54:00,071
You know, they're just
begging to be pressed.
1269
01:54:00,863 --> 01:54:02,824
And it makes me wonder.
1270
01:54:03,283 --> 01:54:06,953
It makes me fucking wonder.
Why doesn't anybody ever press mine?
1271
01:54:07,203 --> 01:54:08,621
Why am I so negIected?
1272
01:54:08,871 --> 01:54:12,041
Why doesn't anybody reach in
and rip out the truth...
1273
01:54:12,208 --> 01:54:14,586
...and teII me
that I'm a fucking whore...
1274
01:54:14,961 --> 01:54:17,046
...and that my parents
wish I were dead?
1275
01:54:17,547 --> 01:54:20,341
Because you're dead aIready, Lisa!
1276
01:54:27,181 --> 01:54:29,559
No one cares if you die, Lisa...
1277
01:54:31,019 --> 01:54:33,605
...because you're dead aIready.
1278
01:54:34,355 --> 01:54:38,234
Your heart is coId!
1279
01:54:40,445 --> 01:54:42,739
That's why you keep
coming back here.
1280
01:54:44,574 --> 01:54:46,576
You're not free.
1281
01:54:47,368 --> 01:54:50,788
You need this pIace.
You need it to feeI aIive.
1282
01:54:51,372 --> 01:54:52,332
It's pathetic.
1283
01:55:34,123 --> 01:55:37,001
I've wasted a year of my Iife.
1284
01:55:42,507 --> 01:55:45,802
And maybe everyone
out there is a Iiar.
1285
01:55:49,055 --> 01:55:52,225
And maybe the whoIe worId...
1286
01:55:52,475 --> 01:55:55,979
...is stupid and ignorant.
1287
01:55:58,815 --> 01:56:01,192
But I'd rather be in it.
1288
01:56:03,152 --> 01:56:06,948
I'd rather be fucking in it...
1289
01:56:07,198 --> 01:56:09,742
...than down here with you.
1290
01:56:28,386 --> 01:56:30,930
Don't. Don't.
1291
01:56:32,348 --> 01:56:33,725
Don't.
1292
01:56:44,527 --> 01:56:46,070
Oh, God.
1293
01:57:31,074 --> 01:57:32,075
Did you get it?
1294
01:57:35,536 --> 01:57:38,665
I had to trade with a transvestite
in the men's ward.
1295
01:57:41,751 --> 01:57:43,169
Thanks.
1296
01:58:42,186 --> 01:58:44,063
I'm not reaIIy dead.
1297
01:58:50,612 --> 01:58:52,155
I know.
1298
01:58:56,659 --> 01:58:59,162
I'm gonna miss you, Susie Q.
1299
01:59:01,664 --> 01:59:05,001
No, you're not.
You're gonna get out of here...
1300
01:59:05,251 --> 01:59:07,629
...and you're gonna come and see me.
1301
01:59:30,818 --> 01:59:32,654
Hey, Georgina.
1302
01:59:32,862 --> 01:59:35,740
You know aII that stuff
I write in my journaI...
1303
01:59:36,032 --> 01:59:38,076
...I don't know what I'm saying.
1304
01:59:38,993 --> 01:59:42,038
They're just thoughts.
1305
01:59:42,705 --> 01:59:44,707
Maybe I'm the Iiar.
1306
01:59:46,542 --> 01:59:48,294
Maybe not.
1307
01:59:56,886 --> 01:59:58,263
See you.
1308
02:00:09,232 --> 02:00:13,736
You think if I Ieft Ruby here
you'd take care of her for me?
1309
02:00:14,237 --> 02:00:17,657
Let me pIay with her
when I come for my therapy?
1310
02:00:28,710 --> 02:00:30,086
Bye, Ruby.
1311
02:00:51,649 --> 02:00:53,943
Remember me when you shave your Iegs.
1312
02:01:24,390 --> 02:01:26,559
Declared healthy...
1313
02:01:26,809 --> 02:01:29,729
...and sent back into the world.
1314
02:01:30,063 --> 02:01:32,565
My final diagnosis.:
1315
02:01:32,982 --> 02:01:35,443
A recovered borderline.
1316
02:01:36,527 --> 02:01:39,322
What that means, l still don't know.
1317
02:01:40,531 --> 02:01:42,533
Was l ever crazy?
1318
02:01:42,825 --> 02:01:45,370
-Maybe.
1319
02:01:46,162 --> 02:01:48,623
Or maybe life is.
1320
02:01:50,333 --> 02:01:52,043
I remember you.
1321
02:01:54,420 --> 02:01:55,880
Where are you going?
1322
02:01:56,881 --> 02:01:59,175
17 BurIingame.
1323
02:01:59,384 --> 02:02:00,635
AII right.
1324
02:02:01,928 --> 02:02:04,764
Crazy isn't being broken...
1325
02:02:05,056 --> 02:02:08,268
... or swallowing a dark secret.
1326
02:02:08,768 --> 02:02:10,853
lt's you or me...
1327
02:02:11,104 --> 02:02:13,189
...amplified.
1328
02:02:13,856 --> 02:02:16,442
lf you ever told a lie...
1329
02:02:16,693 --> 02:02:18,611
...and enjoyed it.
1330
02:02:20,113 --> 02:02:24,409
lf you ever wished you
could be a child forever.
1331
02:02:25,743 --> 02:02:27,996
They were not perfect...
1332
02:02:28,454 --> 02:02:30,748
...but they were my friends.
1333
02:02:32,125 --> 02:02:34,377
And by the '7 0s...
1334
02:02:34,586 --> 02:02:36,462
...most of them were out...
1335
02:02:36,713 --> 02:02:38,715
... living lives.
1336
02:02:39,465 --> 02:02:41,551
Some l've seen...
1337
02:02:42,760 --> 02:02:45,305
...some, never again.
1338
02:02:46,639 --> 02:02:50,101
But there isn't a day my heart
doesn't find them.
94603
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