Original subtitles

[ Man ] ONE, TWO! ONE, TWO, THREE!

♪ 'CAUSE WE GOT A LITTLE OL' CONVOY ♪

♪ ROCKIN' THROUGH THE NIGHT ♪

♪ YEAH, WE GOT A LITTLE OL' CONVOY ♪

♪ AIN'T SHE A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT ♪

♪ COME ON AND JOIN OUR CONVOY ♪

♪ AIN'T NOTHIN' GONNA GET IN OUR WAY ♪

♪ WE GONNA ROLL THIS TRUCKIN' CONVOY ♪

♪ 'CROSS THE U.S.A. ♪

♪ CONVOY ♪♪ [ Man #1 On Radio ] BREAKER, BREAKER. THIS HERE'S THE DUCK.

AND, UH, YOU WANNA BACK OFF OF THEM HOGS?

[ Man #2 ] UH, 10-4. 'BOUT FIVE MILES OR SO. TEN, ROGER.

[ Bell Dinging ]

HMM. I BETTER CHECK THE FLUID LEVELS.

WE'RE OKAY ON COKE SYRUP.

OH, MAN. COME ON!

[ Explosion ] COMIN' THROUGH!

[ Unzips Fly ]

[ Fry ] OKAY. YEAH. MMM!

WHAT'S THAT BLACK CRACKER?

[ Crunches ] A TOMATO.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA EAT A SANDWICH FROM A TRUCK-STOP MEN'S ROOM, ARE YOU?

EHH, WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

UGH! IT'S LIKE A PARTY IN MY MOUTH, AND EVERYONE'S THROWING UP.

LOOKIE THERE. IT'S ONE OF THEM THINGS LIKE ON OUR MUD FLAPS. YOSEMITE SAM?

STANDS BACK. I'M GONNA PUTS MY MOVES ON HER.

WHOA-OH-OH-OHS!

THAT JERK! NO ONE HOOTS AT MY CAPTAIN UNLESS THEY'RE PREPARED TO TAKE IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

FRY, PLEASE. THAT'S SWEET, BUT I'D RATHER NOT EVEN DIGNIFY THEM WITH AN ASS-WHUPPING.

YO, SEXY MAMA. LET'S GET BUSY AND FREAKY, IN THAT ORDER.

HEY, JUMBO! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF LEELA SAID YOU WERE SEXY...

AND SHE WANTED TO MAKE LOVE WITH YOU? EH, I GOTS FIVE MINUTES.

SHE LOOKS PRETTY GOOD FOR A TRUCK-STOP CHICK. [ Both Laughing ]

YOU TAKE THAT BACK! SHE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD FOR A TRUCK-STOP CHICK!

[ Laughing Continues ]

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE DON'T GOTS ENOUGH MEAT FOR A GUY LIKE ME.

SHE DOES TOO! SHE'S LOADED WITH MEAT. SHE'S GOT MORE MEAT THAN A COW. OW!

AH! MORE MEAT THAN A COW! [ Laughing ]

[ Sighs ] I JUST CAN'T PLEASE LEELA NO MATTER WHAT I DO.

I JUST WANT HER TO LIKE ME. WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE.

[ Boisterous Laugh ] COME ON. WE GOTTA GO FIX THE PLASMA-FUSION BOILER.

- WHO ARE YOU? - SCRUFFY, A JANITOR.

- WHY AREN'T YOU FIXING THE BOILER? - SCHEDULE CONFLICT.

THERE. FIXED FOREVER.

[ Both Gasp ]

SCRUFFY'S GONNA DIE THE WAY HE LIVED.

[ Both Scream ]

[ Scruffy ] OH, MARMALADE!

AHH, THE HYPOCHONDRIAC'S BACK.

- SO WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? - WELL, MY LEAD PIPE HURTS A LITTLE.

- THAT'S NORMAL. NEXT PATIENT! - [ Sawing, Clanking ]

HMM.

[ All Exclaiming ]

- HE'S A WITCH! - FRY, DID YOU EAT ANYTHING UNUSUAL RECENTLY?

NO. WHAT ABOUT THAT BATHROOM EGG SALAD FROM THE TRUCK STOP?

- I'VE HAD BETTER. - EGG SALAD? HMM.

ZOIDBERG WILL HAVE TO EXAMINE YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT.

COME, EVERYONE. GIVE FRY SOME PRIVACY.

IF YOU CAN'T SEE WELL ENOUGH THROUGH THE TWO-WAY MIRROR,

THERE'LL BE A CLOSE-UP ON THIS VIDEO SCREEN.

[ Beeping, Engine Revving ]

HMM. WE'LL NEED TO HAVE A LOOK INSIDE YOU WITH THIS CAMERA.

GUESS AGAIN.

AH, UM, UM!

GROSS! GO, MAN, GO!

WATCH FOR ANY SUBTLE IRREGULARITY IN FRY'S BOWEL.

[ Amy ] OOH! [ Bender ] WOW!

IT'S GORGEOUS. THAT PLACE USED TO BE A BIG DUMP.

[ Bender ] WOW! [ Amy ] WORMS?

EW! PUKE-A-TRONIC!

SO THE EGGS IN THAT EGG SALAD SANDWICH WERE--

CORRECT! WORM EGGS. AND THE MAYONNAISE WAS PROBABLY NONE TOO FRESH EITHER.

IT'S NAUSEATIN', MON!

IS THERE NO WAY TO GET RID OF THE DISGUSTING MAGGOTS?

ONLY ONE. WE'LL HAVE TO TRAVEL DEEP INSIDE FRY...

IN THIS!

SHOTGUN! SHOTGUN! AWW!

[ Farnsworth ] IN EACH GASTRO-SURVIVAL KIT,

YOU'LL FIND A RAIN SLICKER, A DISPOSABLE FUN CAMERA...

AND SOMETHING TO PROTECT YOU AGAINST BACTERIA: A HARPOON.

YO, OLD GUY. WHY DO WE HAVE TO USE THOSE TINY MICRO-DROIDS?

CAN'T YOU JUST SHRINK US? OH, MY, NO.

THAT WOULD REQUIRE EXTREMELY TINY ATOMS, AND HAVE YOU PRICED THOSE LATELY?

I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY. LEAVE ME ALONE!

ME NEXT!

[ Beeping ]

OH!

"ANYHOO," YOUR NET SUITS WILL LET YOU EXPERIENCE...

FRY'S WORM-INFESTED BOWELS...

AS IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY WRIGGLING THROUGH THEM.

THERE'S NO PART OF THAT SENTENCE I DIDN'T LIKE.

[ Farnsworth ] IS EVERYONE PRESENT?

WE'RE ALL HERE. AYE, AYE. DEFINITELY.

HERE'S THE PLAN. WE'LL ENTER THE EAR,

DRIP DOWN THE BACK OF THE THROAT, AND MAKE FOR THE BOWEL.

THERE, WE'LL IRRITATE THE PELVIC SPLANCHNIC GANGLION AND CAUSE AN INTESTINAL SPASM,

EXPELLING, AMONG OTHER THINGS, THE PARASITES.

I'LL TELL FRY TO WASH OUT, AMONG OTHER THINGS, HIS EAR.

NO! FRY CAN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE MISSION.

IF HE FINDS OUT, THE WORMS WILL TRY TO DEFEND THEMSELVES.

THEY KNOW EVERYTHING HE KNOWS.

THEY KNOW HOW TO MAKE ICE CREAM SOUP? LEELA,

YOUR ROLE IS TO DISTRACT FRY,

SO HE DOESN'T NOTICE WHAT WE'RE UP TO.

CAN DO! LEELA, YOU SHOULD REALLY TRY A FACIAL SCRUB FOR YOUR PORES.

AAH! [ Thudding ]

LOOK! A STARLING! REALLY?

SHH. BE VERY QUIET.

WE'RE IN THE EAR. OKAY, PROFESSOR.

- [ Loudly ] WHAT? - WHAT ABOUT WHAT?

UH, WHAT IF WE GO FOR A WALK, POSSIBLY,

BECAUSE IT'S SUCH A LOVELY DAY, PERHAPS.

I'D LOVE TO.

[ All Screaming ]

- WE GOTTA GET SOMEPLACE WHERE HE WON'T STICK HIS FINGER. - IT'S HOPELESS! ABANDON SHIP!

WAIT! WE JUST HAVE TO GET PAST THE EARDRUM!

[ Hermes ] WHAT ARE THOSE WORMS DOING TO FRY'S BRAIN?

[ Farnsworth ] THEY'RE GIVING IT A COMPLETE TUNE-UP.

A CURSORY GLANCE WOULD SUGGEST THEY'VE DOUBLED HIS THINKING POWER.

MY GOD! SOON HE'LL BE SMARTER THAN CHER.

AH, THE SCENT OF A ROSE.

CURIOUS HOW AN AROMATIC CHAIN OF HYDROCARBONS CAN EVOKE OUR DEEPEST EMOTIONS. FOR YOU.

THAT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT, FRY.

AND WHAT'S MORE AMAZING, YOU EXPRESSED IT WITHOUT SPEWING CRUMBS AT ME.

BRACE YOURSELVES, EVERYONE.

WE'RE ENTERING THE INTERIOR OF FRY'S NOSE.

WE'RE AT FINGER ALERT FIVE. [ Alarm Blaring ]

LET'S JUST PRAY NOTHING STIMULATES THE DELICATE SMELL RECEPTORS.

[ Whispers ] NOBODY MAKE A SMELL.

-[ Sniffing Deeply ] - [ All Screaming ]

QUICK! WE CAN ESCAPE THROUGH THAT NASAL CAPILLARY INTO THE SINUS.

STRANGE. USUALLY YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HUMAN ANATOMY.

I LEARNED IT FROM A DECONGESTANT COMMERCIAL.

"SOOTHING ACTION, ACTION, ACTION, ACTION."

- [ Panicked Shouts ] - [ Rhythmic Beating ]

WHERE ARE WE, THE ASS? WE'RE IN THE HEART, BETTER KNOWN AS THE LOVE MUSCLE.

- WHERE THE FOOD IS DIGESTED. - WE SHOULD BE SAFE,

JUST SO LONG AS NOTHING MAKES IT BEAT FASTER.

[ Rapid Beating ]

- ABANDON SHIP! - NO! SET COURSE FOR THAT CHOLESTEROL-ENCRUSTED VALVE.

IT'S GOOD CHOLESTEROL, BUT IT SPREADS LIKE BAD CHOLESTEROL.

[ Gobbling ]

♪♪ [ Jazz Pop ]

[ Amy ] LOOK, THEY'RE JAZZERCISING FRY'S MUSCLES.

HE'LL BE AS STRONG AND FLEXIBLE AS GUMBY AND HERCULES COMBINED.

GUMBERCULES? I LOVE THAT GUY.

[ Disgusted Groan ] IT'S THAT JERK FROM THE TRUCK STOP.

LET'S CROSS THE STREET AND TRY TO BLEND IN WITH THAT CROWD OF PIMPS.

I DON'T THINK SO. SIR, I BELIEVE YOU OWE THIS LADY AN APOLOGY.

FRY, NO! HE'S BULGING WITH WHAT COULD BE MUSCLES.

OOH!

I GOTS YOUR APOLOGIES RIGHT HERES.

[ Grunting, Groaning ]

SORRYS, MA'AM. I'VE LEARNSED A LESSON ABOUT NOT OGLING CANS THAT I WON'T SOONS FORGETS.

AHH, THE STOMACH-- SCENIC GATEWAY TO THE BOWEL.

[ Siren Blaring ]

ABANDON SHIP! [ Straining ]

NO! DON'T GIVE UP NOW. WE'RE BUT A STONE'S THROW FROM THE PYLORIC SPHINCTER.

[ Thudding ]

[ All Cheering ] [ Hermes ] WE MADE IT!

THERE IT IS,

THE STATELY CAPITOL OF FRY'S BOWEL--

A HEAVILY GUARDED FORTRESS SURROUNDING THE PELVIC SPLANCHNIC GANGLION.

I'VE HEARD OF THAT. WHO SAID I HAVEN'T?

IF WE CAN STIMULATE THAT NERVE, THE BOWEL WILL CONVULSE,

EXPELLING THE ENTIRE WORM SOCIETY.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WORMS IN THE OTHER PARTS OF HIS BODY?

LISTEN, THIS IS GONNA BE ONE HELL OF A BOWEL MOVEMENT.

AFTERWARDS, HE'LL BE LUCKY IF HE HAS ANY BONES LEFT.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S SMOOSH SOME WORMS!

WORMS TO BATTLE STATIONS!

[ Hooting ]

I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY--

THE FLOWERS, THE PUDDLE, THE WAY YOU HURT THAT GUY.

- BUT CAN I "AX" YOU SOMETHING? - ANYTHING.

- WHY DID YOU DO ALL THAT STUFF? - [ Sighs ]

LEELA, THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE WANTED TO TELL YOU FOR A LONG TIME,

BUT EVERY TIME I TRY, I GET NERVOUS AND MY MOUTH FEELS LIKE IT'S STUFFED WITH PEANUT BUTTER,

- EVEN WHEN IT'S NOT. - WHAT IS IT? IS IT ABOUT BENDER?

- NO, IT'S ABOUT YOU AND ME. - AND BENDER?

BENDER'S NOT INVOLVED.

LEELA, I LOVE YOU.

- YOU DO? - YES.

BUT IT'S ONLY RECENTLY THAT I'VE BEEN ABLE TO ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS.

I LOVE YOU, LEELA, AND I ALWAYS HAVE.

FRY, THAT'S THE SWEETEST, MOST WONDERFUL-- WAIT.

RECENTLY? LIKE SINCE YOU ATE THAT TOILET SANDWICH?

YEAH. I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT MY LIFE REALLY TURNED AROUND THAT DAY.

STAY HERE.

[ Sighs ] FRESHEN YOUR NARCOTINA?

PLEASE. I NEED SOMETHING TO SETTLE MY STOMACH.

[ Gunfire ]

THE NERVE IS THROUGH HERE. WHERE'S ZOIDBERG?

YIPPEE-KI-YAY! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I'VE BEEN!

[ Beeping ]

[ Slurping ]

[ Bender ] ONE, TWO, THREE! [ Banging ]

OOH! THERE IT IS!

THE PELVIC SPLANCHNIC GANGLION.

TICKLE IT, THEN GET READY FOR THE RIDE OF YOUR LIVES.

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TICKLING THAT GANGLION.

[ Farnsworth ] LEELA! YOU'RE JUST IN TIME TO HELP.

IF WE DON'T GET RID OF THE WORMS NOW, THEY'LL BURROW SO DEEP INTO THE BOWEL...

THAT NOT EVEN HERMES' FAMOUS JERK PRUNES COULD DISLODGE THEM.

- I CALL IT CARIBBEAN DRANO. - FRY WILL BE STUCK WITH THE WORMS FOREVER.

PERFECT. HAAH! OH, OH!

- [ Leela Grunting ] - [ Zoidberg ] OUCH!

[ All Shouting ]

[ Shouting Stops ] [ Amy ] OH! I'M OKAY.

LEELA, YOU IGNORANT DOPE! NOW THE WORMS WILL BE IN FRY FOREVER.

SO? DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK THAT FRY IS BETTER OFF WITH WORMS?

OH, THAT'S STUPID!

IF ANYONE WANTS TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, I'LL BE IN THE LOUNGE.

OF ALL THE PARASITES I'VE HAD OVER THE YEARS, THESE WORMS ARE AMONG THE--

HELL, THEY ARE THE BEST! LEELA, HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU FOR SAVING THEM?

I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

[ British Accent ] HELLO! WHAT'S ALL THIS THEN?

APARTMENT ONE-I. THE OLD ME WOULD'VE MADE A JOKE ABOUT THAT.

I SHOULD WARN YOU. IT'S A LITTLE UNDER-FURNISHED.

I'M THINKING OF HAVING A WINDOW INSTALLED.

I THINK THE VIEW'S PERFECT ALREADY.

OH, THAT'S THE CORNIEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. LET ME SHOW YOU THE BEDROOM.

WAIT. IN A MINUTE.

A HOLOPHONOR?

ONLY A FEW PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE CAN PLAY THAT, AND THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.

THEY DON'T HAVE YOU TO INSPIRE THEM.

♪♪ [ Orchestral ]

♪♪ [ Continues ]

[ Both Moaning Pleasurably ]

I DON'T HAVE WORDS TO SAY HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE, FRY.

I HAVEN'T FELT THIS HAPPY SINCE DOUBLE-SOUP TUESDAY AT THE ORPHANARIUM.

WHEN I'M WITH YOU, EVERY DAY SEEMS LIKE DOUBLE-SOUP TUESDAY.

OH, FRY. I LOVE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME.

WHAT I'VE BECOME.

[ Sighs ] WHAT IS IT?

THERE'S JUST SOMETHING I HAVE TO FIND OUT.

[ Beeping ]

WHO CONTROLS THIS BOWEL? WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

[ Worms Gasping ]

I AM THE LORD MAYOR OF COLOGNE.

- YOU MEAN "COLON"? - STATE YOUR BUSINESS.

YOUR EXCELLENCY, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?

NO. I THOUGHT I WAS ONCE, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED...

OUR SPECIES REPRODUCES WITH A CLOUD OF SPORES.

WELL, A WONDERFUL GIRL LOVES ME,

BUT I NEED TO KNOW IF IT'S REALLY ME SHE LOVES, OR JUST WHAT YOU WORMS HAVE MADE OF ME.

THAT'S WHY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, I'M ASKING YOU TO LEAVE.

LISTEN, YOU! I WAS BORN HERE.

I RAISED A CLOUD OF CHILDREN HERE.

MY ANCESTORS CAME OVER HERE ON THE SANDWICH.

NO ONE CAN MAKE ME LEAVE.

- HAAH! HMM? - HUUH!

[ Both Grunting ]

[ Bell Dings ]

[ Electric Crackling ]

[ Bell Dings ]

[ Disgruntled Shouts ]

EVERYONE OUT OF MY BODY, OR THE BRAIN GETS IT!

HE'S BLUFFING. NO CREATURE WOULD WILLINGLY MAKE AN IDIOT OUT OF ITSELF.

OBVIOUSLY YOU'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE. HUUH!

[ Panicked Shouts ]

HUUH! OW! HUUH! OW! HUUH! OW!

[ All Exclaiming ]

AND NOW, THE HAND-EYE COORDINATION LOBE.

WAAH! WAAH! [ Babbling ]

[ Scattered Shouts ] NO! STOP THAT! STOP IT, MAN!

[ Grunting ]

[ Gasps ]

YOU'VE DAMAGED YOUR BRAIN, UNIVERSE--

BUT NO MORE THAN A WEEK OF BINGE DRINKING OR FIVE MINUTES ON A CELL PHONE.

I WAS JUST WORKING MY WAY TOWARD THE MEDULLA OBLONGATA, CONTROL CENTER OF THE HEART AND LUNGS.

AND IF I KILL MYSELF, YOU DIE WITH ME.

NO! STOP! WAIT A MINUTE, MAN!

I HOPE SATAN HAS A NICE COLON, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE GONNA BE LIVING!

STOP! WE'LL LEAVE.

BUT ONE DAY YOU'LL BE EATIN' A FAST-FOOD BURGER AND BOOM!

YOU'LL BE CRAWLIN' WITH US AGAIN.

EVER WONDER WHAT MAKES "SPECIAL SAUCE" SO SPECIAL?

YO.

[ Snoring ]

FRY! I MISSED YOU. DID YOU FIND OUT WHAT YOU NEEDED TO FIND OUT?

I'M ABOUT TO. LEELA, LET ME PLAY FOR YOU ONE MORE TIME.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. I'M STILL SEDUCED FROM BEFORE.

PLEASE. IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.

♪♪ [ Eerie ]

[ Groaning ]

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I DON'T KNOW.

I GOT NERVOUS, AND I STARTED THINKING ABOUT NECK BOLTS.

WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT VASE BREAK? IT WAS ALL, LIKE--

[ Imitating Explosions ]

- WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU? - NOTHING. I GOT RID OF THE WORMS.

- WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? - LEELA, I HAD WORMS.

I NEEDED TO KNOW WHO YOU LOVED, ME OR THEM.

WELL, WHICH OF YOU WROTE ME THAT SONNET?

I DID! I THINK. IT WAS PROBABLY ABOUT 50-50.

BUT THAT'S HOW I REALLY FELT ABOUT YOU, I SWEAR.

[ Sighs ] I DON'T KNOW.

PLEASE, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO BE ROMANTIC ON MY OWN.

I'VE GOT A BAGGIE OF MASSAGE OIL, AND I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY SUPER BACK RUB,

JUST LIKE I USED TO GIVE AMY WHEN I WAS GOING OUT WITH HER,

AND SHE ALWAYS SEEMED TO-- UH-OH.

[ Sighs ] SORRY YOU STRUCK OUT, SAUSAGE LINK.

IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, MY LIFE IS GREAT.

BABES, BUCKS-- I GOT IT ALL.

WELL, AT LEAST I LEARNED LEELA'S A LOST CAUSE. I GIVE UP.

THERE YA GO! [ Yawns ] GOOD NIGHT.

I GOTTA GET UP EARLY TO GO PARASAILING WITH MOVIE STARS.

♪♪ [ Orchestral ]